" I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness and speak comfort to her." ~ Hos. 2:14

Tonight, I got this verse, and my first reaction was to reject it even though I knew it was speaking directly to me...it was funny, because for some reason I was scared...

Oh, but the Lord is Faithful.

"But we have this treasure in EARTHEN VESSELS, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be OF GOD and not from ourselves, we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed, perplexed, but not despairing, persecuted but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed, always carrying about in the body of Jesus, that the LIFE of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. " II Cor. 4: 7-

Funny thing just happened....I was reading back through my journal and on one page I'd written in quotation marks ( as though I was speaking to someone) the following questions: "What are you doing? I feel like you aren't in the best of places, yet what ARE you reading?! What ARE you watching?"

It was funny because when I first read it I immediately thought of myself...how those questions applied completely and totally to ME...but then, I remembered-when I wrote the questions I was actually speaking in frustration about SOMEONE ELSE!
HA! Talk about casting the first stone!! How awful!

But, it was a good lesson for tonight...oh that I would truly Love.

just what we need...

Ok, so you what is something we havent done in a LONG time?! And what is also something I really NEED to do today?!

TEN THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY!!!

1. Johnny Cash. Honestly, made me stop crying. Thanks Johnny. ( and why dont i actually OWN any Johnny Cash CDs?!)

2. The most adorable 82 year-old ( as of yesterday!) little lady that came into my office today...she was SO energetic and HAPPY and POSITIVE. I just LOVED her!

3.Emails from Tabitha and Mel. I mean, dont get me wrong, I love emails from EVERYONE but these two never EVER fail to lift my Spirit. And THATS just priceless.

4. Unseasonably cool weather. I mean, I know it sounds crazy...that its possible for 90 degrees to be considered "cool"...but at least its not "opressive"

5. My eyes turn green when I cry. Its weird. But also kinda cool. So there's always that.

6. Arrested Developmen. Its hard for me to decide WHO my favorite character actually is...possibly Job...possible George Michael...but does it matter? they are all great.

7. Gmail chat...shhhh....nothing like talking to friends while you work.

8. Church. Man, I honestly understand why people would want to become nuns...or priests...or monks or whatever. Because, there is really a Peace there, that cannot be replicated.

9. The fact that I get Monday off from work. sweet.

10. The knowledge that..."for whoever touches you touches the apple of his eye-" Zech. 2:8...its been on my fridge for the past two weeks...its probably going to stay.

strength

So, I got out of my doctors appointment relatively quickly...but I had to drive around until I stopped crying...

Yeah, I know that sounds dramatic. But, before you get overly excited...its no big deal. Turns out that I MOST PROBABLY have just a kidney stone here...and if you push through all of the annoying things that doctors say so that they wont get sued- Unless its "really bothering me" I should just let things be....

I cant talk about this.

I'm going to cry again.


I am so very tired of THIS. I'm discouraged like you wouldnt believe.

With that said...

Ok, so I think we've established many times that I'm really very good at being single...

but with that said...

I have NEVER. EVER. wanted a husband like a did tonight.

Whhhhy, you ask?!

the story:

I headed to wal mart around 8:40 tonight to pick up all the ingrediants I needed to make a really "special" cake ( and by special I mean it has all kind of weird and random things in it...and I honestly dont know HOW its going to taste good by the sound of it...so of course I just HAD to try it...) that I am making for Billie and Steve and my family tomorrow...now, if you know Steve, as many of you do, you'll know that its REALLY important for me to make a REALLY good cake. Not because he'd be mean if I made a bad cake...its just that you just WANT to please him so badly! ( I promise to tell you about my cake tomorrow-but for now the details remain a suprise)

Anyway, long story short I head home around 10 till 9....

take out all my ingedients...and....NOOoooOooOOo! I forgot EGGS!!!!

Back into my car....back to wal mart ( eggs are located at the VERY back of the store)....

Home again 9:15.


Start making my cake....its going well, I'm reading everything carefully...all the way to the last ingred....waaaaait...OOOOH NOOOOO! I didnt see that I needed SOUR CREAM!!?!

For half a second i thought about just skipping it...but I knew that would be wrong. And it was at THIS MOMENT that this thought came into my mind:

"wow. if only I was MARRIED. My husband could run to Wal Mart for me...."


The rest of the story is pretty much as you would expect, except that I ran past Jordan in Wal Mart this time around, I yell incoherent things at him as I passed...hopefully that made up for my rudeness ;-)

The moral of this story? Obviously, without realizing it, I was under the impression that husbands are really good for running errands at 10:30 at night. But, now that I actually THINK about it...realistically what are the odds that my husband would actually run out and get me the sour cream when *I* was the one stupid enough to forget it TWICE?! I guess if he reeeeeally loved me ;-)

One day I'm going to get my self a real live boyfriend ( hahaha) and I want you guys to remember to ask him the "hypothetical" question of whether or not he'd go to wal mart TWICE for things that *I* forgot....I think then we'll know if I have a keeper or not .

mental note

Interesting turn of events...I think someone should make a movie about someone who only makes decisions based on online quizzes...

You Should Date A Swede!

You're a romantic, albeit an understated and practical one. It's more about a steady partnership for you, not unrestrained falling Your Swede will give you the unwavering love you crave While making up some mean pancakes and meatballs on the side!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

EDIT:
I just looked at the little picture on the quiz results...what the HECK is that girl DOING?! Pinching his forehead?! Weiiiird...

Oh, and then, I took the quiz listed under the foreign guy one...and the results were totally wrong. I'm pretty sure my track record proves I'm WAAAAY more scary than THAT!

You Are 38% Scary

You scare men off ocassionaly, but only very weak men. You're a normal woman. You're not perfect, but you're pretty darn close.

Do You Scare Off Men?

"Frou Frou"

I've been listening to them all day...I looove this music.
Its made my day just a tad better.

I've been productive today, which is nice.
But, I still feel like I'm treading water at my job. *sigh*


My office is FREEEEEEZING. Its worse than the hospital in here.

In other news: Season Three of Arrested Development...well, its fabulous. I dont understand TV watchers-and why they'd let a gem like this show go?!

So are the days of our lives...

Read a good bit about "waiting" this morning...go read Morning and Evening by Spurgeon if you havent already. But, I was thinking about the idea that we as humans are forever impatient. Maybe it has something to do with our underlying sense that this life does not last particularly long...I dont exactly know why it is-but whatever the case, we are constantly desiring the NOW to be EVERYTHING.

Am I making any sense? I feel like I'm talking in code here for no particular reason. I hope that's not the case.

All I am saying is that Patience is what I am praying for today. Patience...and...endurance.

~

In other news, I had chocolate cake ( thanks Katie!) for Breakfast this morning...it was good...but possibly TOO good. Now I fill ill. ugg. I bet this coffee will help...

So where is everyone this morning? I only have one blog update...and ZERO emails. odd.

blasted all...

I wrote this totally long ( and dare I say perfect) post only to have it get deleted.
Of course, since there is no proof on just HOW perfect it was...I'm just going to go ahead and say it was THE best POST ever.

This post, however, will be a mere shell of what once was.

I think I'm coming down with something...probably the Broncitis that everyone and there DOGS has...boo. It doesnt help that I was at work until 8:30 last night ( meeting dragons or something of the like) around TONS of people. And it rained.
Not that that really makes any difference. But it makes it SOUND more dramatic.
Anywho, I went home and went ( almost) directly to bed...stopping to drink the nasty vitamin drink that Aunt Donnave reccommended to me a while back...I drank it while I was in NZ and it kept me healthy then...buuuut...even though I drank it last night, and then slep till 8:30 and drank ANOTHER dose, I'm still feeling uggy.

But, enough about my ever recurring health problems. I like to think of myself as the 22 year old that sounds like an 85 year old.


So, I want to give major props to my readers who look at pictures WAY TOO CLOSELY. Seriously, you guys must have rocked at Where's Waldo ( I dont know what the French version of that is...but google it or something if you dont know what I'm talking about). It excites me that you all have plenty of time to scrutinize my pictures and that the fun isnt even over...Now that I know you will look so closely, I will try and "leave suprises" for you in my next installments of what I like to call "Abigail's Castle: A life of bugs, bad plumbing, but otherwise adorableness"

Yes...I just came up with that title for the pictures of my apartment....a little something extra that wasnt in my first ( though perfect) post. Anyway, you can look forward to those pictures when I get around to it.

In other news, I am getting my hair cut today...its been in this ackward "ugly" phase for a good two weeks now...and its really time to move on and be the beauty that we all know and love ( HAHAHAHAHA! who am I kidding?!)..but seriously now, I havent really decided if:
A. cut a good portion off and continue to have short-er hair..
B. just get a trim and start the ever-growing-out process so that one day soon I can be mistaken for a Pentecostal again ( boy that will forever be one of my FAVORITE stories).
C. Cut my bangs ( fringe, whatever) so that they are definitely bangs and not annoying pieces of hair that dont do anything.
D. Not cut my bangs and grow them out so that my hair is the semblance of the same length.
E. None of the above...dye it purple, get a tatoo and join a rockband.

I honestly havent thought much about it...except to write this post ( oh, and that other post...that was perfect)...so I will probably just sit like a dud in the stylist chair and let my hairdresser do whatever he wants...of course, you, my readers always have a HUGE say in life decisions ( as is this) so let me know before 3pm ( my time) about any hair preferences you may have. I may take it into account.


I'm going to actually do some work now...after I take something to stop all my bones from aching.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Internet access galore!!!!!

I wont tell you HOW long it took me to set up the internet in my office, or how I had to MOVE furniture...because, it was ALL worth it.
TAKE THAT SILLY SCHOOL DISTRICT!!!

So here I am, email me where ever...send me blogs...links to youtube...ebay...this is fabulous!

But, above all, I cannot work without being INTERRUPTED by FAULTY internet access.
sweeeet.

Today is crazy busy.

bye

dork.

I just had to cancel Bible Study tomorrow because I FORGOT that I have to work at Meet the Dragons ( the start up "event" for the high school football team)...selling my Evil Raffle Tickets....and believe me, the irony is NOT lost on me...that after spending my high school days HATING and BOYCOTTING the football team and cheerleaders and anything else remotely related...I am now seriously PRAYING that they play well this year...because, then hopefully I'll sale more Alumni Shirts....and the fact that I'll be going to all the home games to sale said shirts...well.....Luckily, I live to be ironic.

Honestly....what have I become?!

In other news, this weekend I have been a social butterfly. I've had some sort of social engagment every single night. Crazy. But fun. But also by tonight I couldnt DO it anymore....I dont know why i have more pain at night...and early in the morning...but I do, and tonight its been especially bad.

I cant believe tomorrow is Monday....*sigh*


...
Its August, but I am thinking about getting out my NZ hoodie just for the comfort that it brings.....sometimes you just really need something snuggly to make you feel better....and since there is no one around to give me a hug- turn up the air conditioner and give me my hoodie!

as promised...

And you'll notice, for the sake of keeping this "realistic" I didnt really pick the shoes up off the floor...or straighten my desk...you can thank me later.

Its technically Sunday now...so...

I'm up late.
Talked to Emma and Lydia on the phone. Both dear sisters. How blessed I am...

I saw a falling star tonight. I was so happy just to be able to even see the stars...I forgot to make a wish-but even if I had-it wouldnt have been as good as this which is already true:

Ps 33:
4 For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.

5 The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.

6 By the word of the LORD were the heavens made,
their starry host by the breath of his mouth.

7 He gathers the waters of the sea into jars [a] ;
he puts the deep into storehouses.

8 Let all the earth fear the LORD;
let all the people of the world revere him.

9 For he spoke, and it came to be;
he commanded, and it stood firm.

10 The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.

11 But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.

12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
the people he chose for his inheritance.

13 From heaven the LORD looks down
and sees all mankind;

14 from his dwelling place he watches
all who live on earth-

15 he who forms the hearts of all,
who considers everything they do.

16 No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.

17 A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.

18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

19 to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.

20 We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.

21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.

22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.

creating a monster...

I dont know exactly how many times I am going to have to clean my house before I feel like I'm just cleaning MY dirt and not the person before me's dirt...but honestly, I found myself on my hands and KNEES scrubbing the kitchen floor today...I mean, honestly now...eww.

In other news...I got my new duvet cover today...its way cute. But, very...ummm....colorful. But, then again-its either THAT or painting my bedroom...and well, as much fun as that would be-I just cant at the moment.

So, it wont be long before I'll post bedroom pictures... but a few more things to do before then... maybe kitchen pictures will be next.

not to overshadow...

I hate to post right after posting pictures of my adorable living room...because I hate to over shadow them...but, then, who am I kidding...even MY words cant over shadow big ol' pictures.

So, my night was really interesting. One of those nights where you think: "huh. God SO had His hand in all that!"

Basically, my evening was going to be a lowkey affair at Mary's house with the some of the twenty-somethings from church...and i say "some" because Anna wasnt there...and we ALL know how much it cramps my party skillz when I dont have Anna there to play off my jokes *sigh* But, anyway, I digress...

So, I was there at the get together when I SUDDENLY remembered that I absolutely HAD to call my ex-boss Dr. G because I was still having problems with my new insurance and my OLD insurance had sent me some bad information JUST today...and I knew that HE was the ONLY person that HAD the information I needed...and I ALSO knew that HE was going to Hawaii for two weeks tomorrow ( yes, it is a tough tough life)...so I get his number from trusty Aaron and the Dudley household and I make a "quick call" to see if he'll mail me the info I need before he heads out tomorrow...

Long story short. I end up driving out to the Grohman's house ( yessssss....first time ever that I've used there REAL name on my blog! wooo hoooo! no longer employed!! ) and what transpired was no less than perfect.
I wont go into it-but I had a very important conversation with Dr. G and his wife in an area that is pretty much my one and only expertise...they just so happened to be facing something that *I* could offer some insight into...and as I was talking to them it wasnt even MY words coming out of my mouth! And then we had a really cool little prayer time...after which I drove back to my previous party...but the totally crazy thing was the WHOLE way I was driving I COULDNT stop praying...I mean, it was weird. I dont know what I was praying about really but I am glad I could be a part of that.

Honestly, I tell you this because it was the best part of my day-and it was the best part of my day because it was a little tiny reminder about a much greater scale....that our Lives...the very HOURS that we live are not our own. I had tonight all planned out in a nice tidy package- a small gathering...me...just hanging out with friends...instead I got to visit some really sweet people and talk about God and actual IMPORTANT stuff....and pray with them...and as we all know...I Looooove to pray with people!

So, there you have it, my night was fantastic.

Oh, and Mary makes the BEST pie ever. I mean, rock ON...that pie was goooood.

one room at a time...

Here is my living room..notice the artistic angle of this first picture....that would be an accident. ;-)

Bite the Bullet.

So, this morning started off with an "apology email"...honestly! How do I get myself into this?!

 

I feel much better now, but I hope I've learned my lesson ( again) about the importance of counting to ten-even in the proverbial sense!

I am totally and completely happy its Friday. Very, very, very happy....

 

Java Jacks rocks my world.

Great Expectations.

Take my heart, and my make me new.
I am ready for you.
So come and fill my soul.

"A man of sorrows, acquainted with grief" ~Is 53:3

O my God, do not be far from me! Make haste to help me.
O Lord, my salvation." Ps 38:21-22

A broken people, not whole...tossed about and struggling in this fallen world, in fallen bodies....
A Savior. Perfect. Complete. Full of Love, Unconditional.

Amazing.

I am so loved.
Undeserving. But loved.

I want to come.
I want to bow
I want to kneel
I want to see the way that You see.
Open my eyes so I can see You.

fyi

So, I changed my email link...over in the righthand corner ( says something like, "comments not enough, email me HERE") so that it takes you to my gmail account...

I ultimately still love my yahoo ( just because of the first samuel part) so...keep in mind that the gmail is a BACK UP.

Work Related Evil

OK, so today I'm pretty much over the $900 mistake that the previous girl made ( that I found yesterday)...afterall, Its not my fault and I'll do everything I can ( pray like nobodies business) to try and deal with said mistake...so why cry over spilled milk, right?

 

That's right...

 

So, that means today I'm ultra calm and able to focus on the annoying ANNOYING ANNNNOOOOOOYYYYYYIIINNNG firewalls at this blasted high school.

 

I am now remembering all the things i hated about this place back in the day.

*pause*

 

OK, so not only am I not able to read your blog posts ( especially if you still havent clicked on "publish all" under your preferences ( whhhhy???) and I'm still not able to read my emails..but ALSO I can't get on WORK related sites.

 

I cannot WAIT until next week when I get my DSL line put in and I can "stick it to the man" and do all sorts of school-illegal activities  right here in the school...oooooh....I think my first order of business will be to watch something on YouTube...because THAT will be just SCANDALOUS!

*ahem*

 

Can anyone else just not wait until this week is OVER?! Is it just me or is the month of August possibly the longest month in the history of MONTHS?!

 

September: I've never loved you so much, or longed for your arrival so much, I've never desired the taste of quasi-fall ( since in Texas anything but summer doesnt exist) so much...

 

~ I just want to put my first month of work behind me...but I'm pretty sure its going to stretch on until eternity.

 

~And speaking of work, and feeling stupid and useless ( you mean, I wasnt talking about that?) I am sooo hoping that there is a "FrontPage for Dummies" book out there because this Microsoft Press book is TOTALLY USELESS. I feel like an idiot. I will NEVER create a webpage...does anyone know ANYTHING about this program?!

*tears from heaven*

 

~ OK, I'm going to end on a happy note-I've been moaning this whole post...so, as you may or maynot know...I've been watching Prison Break pretty much SOLID for the past two weeks...and I have a pretty major crush on Wentworth Miller/Michael Scofield

And that's totally not normal.

I dont GET crushes on fictional people...

I mean, dont get me wrong I totally loved The Captain from Firefly....but it was more in a " I realize this is fiction" kind of a way...and I honestly dont know if my little mind has grasped that I cant MARRY Michael Scofield...hahahah!

Anyway, I find it really funny that I've become this sad and pitiful. And that is why I share it with you now...because obviously if we dont laugh at me right now-than it'll just be a waste.

 

Oh, and here's another thing ( since I'm obviously into this "too much information" thing)...I dont think its realistic at ALL that I'm so into these mono-syllible guys on TV...because, really, I'm all about people TALKING to me...in reality It'd probably drive me crazy that this guy is looking at me with those brooding eyes but not actually SAYING anything. It'd get old fast.

So, I'm going to try and convince myself that Michael Scofield is fictional and that I actually need to start looking for some guy that LOOKS like a brooder, but in reality ...isnt.

 

OK! Now that you've lost all respect for me! Have a good day...

the evils of email.

So, today, it turned out that work was SO insane that it hardly even bothered me ( that much) that they had learned my "tricky" way of getting into my Yahoo! email account..and had thus blocked it.

I know...normally that would have practically sent me home.
But, I had bigger fish to fry.

However, if you want to email me ( and I recommend that you do...) in the next week ( because after that, I'm getting SEPERATE internet so that I dont have the evil firewalls) than email me at my gmail account, ok?

Speaking of emails...its a tricky business.....I sometimes think I say too much in emails. Or I say things badly....why do I keep writing? The written word is so easily twisted! Not that I'm ANY better in person....

I am good at putting my foot in my mouth-whether in person or via the written word.
And just so you know, I am crazy enough to worry when you dont reply to my emails....because I WILL worry that I've DONE something wrong...and yes, I suppose that DOES make me self-involved as though everything has to do with ME...but, that's just how I am...I'm.... eccentric(?)...or special (?).... And I'd like to think that its an endearing trait, one of those things that when you think about it, you smile because you like the fact that you have weird friends like me...but that's probably being TOO positive.
So instead, I'll continue to pretend that I dont care. And that I'm ultra confident about every word that comes out of my mouth ( or my fingers).

HA!

Its a miracle I have any friends at all.