Seriously, how did it become Saturday already?!
Last night, I watched The Life and Death of Peter Sellers by myself. The movie was extremely interesting and sad/disturbing at the same time....I wasnt really SURPRISED to learn that such an comedy genius was a bit of an eccentric at best, but its still hard to watch. I had to fastforward a few parts.
While I watched the movie I drank 64oz. of ice-tea.Thus continues my battle against the kidney stone.
My sister came home and we watched Life Aquatic-which I really loved. I am a big fan of Wes Anderson movies, and this just might be my favorite thus far...I think its because of Bill Murray who I think is hilarious.
"And I, the Lord, will multiply people on you, the whole house of Israel, all of it. The cities shall be inhabited and the waste places rebuilt."
July 23, 2005
July 22, 2005
Super-sized sleep... with a side order of sleep.
So, remember yesterday when I said I was going to take a nap that afternoon? I bet you didnt think I meant from 2-6PM....and I bet you would be equally surprised to learn that even after THAT nap...I was able to easily sleep from 10:30PM til 10AM...and I actually had to have and ALARM to wake me up at 10.
WOOOO! I feel MUCH better, and yet...I STILL think I could use some more sleep...I think I am getting sick. And I dont just mean my kidney stone. I am falling apart! meeeh!
Work is crazy today- I arrived at 12:30 to a room out of control. The medicine world is like that, totally unpredictable.
hey, thanks for the good comments guys! I really liked the version that Mel came up with! That was awesome! I admit I hadnt looked THAT hard for other versions...so I am glad you guys did your homework. :-)
So, I had an interesting conversation with a friend the other day, she was talking about how she really needed to do a quiet time and that she hadnt done one in a reeeeally long time. She than said something like, "I think I'll be able to do it today, I am working up to it."
This sort of hit me as interesting because I know, I've been there too...if for some reason I get out of the habit of not having a daily QT ( and by getting out of the habit I mean, missing one day) it can SERIOUSLY be a fight to get back to it. Why is that? With something that is so good, so helpful, so NECESSARY to ones relationship with God-it is actually WORK to actually sit down and do it?! It only takes me ONE DAY missing it, to have to fight back to it again....
Here is a confession for you, that really sobered me...and taught me a very good lesson.
So, last tuesday night, I had stayed up late-and was extremely tired when I went to bed. I actually sat on the edge of my bed and stared at my QT books piled next to my bed....and I had a very vivid conversation in my Spirit.
" I am tired. I dont want to do my quiet time right now."
" You need to do it."
" I am too tired, besides I have the morning off from work, I can have a really long one then."
" You need to do it now."
"It would be wasteful to do it now, I am too tired. I'll do a good one in the morning!"
So, I went to sleep and I was awakened at 7AM with HORRIBLE pain....thus beginning what I like to call the Kidney Stone week(s) of Hell....
At some point while I was at the hospital between some bout of pain-I remembered that little conversation and I realized my fault. Why do we put such important things as time with God off until tomorrow? WHY do I live so carelessly as though there will be endless tomorrows?? One day, tomorrow will never come.
A really sobering thought. So now, the important thing is not letting this happen again. I must press harder. For HE is faithful, God is faithful to speak. He is faithful to comfort, encourage, chastise, teach...whatever it is that I need....He is faithful.
WOOOO! I feel MUCH better, and yet...I STILL think I could use some more sleep...I think I am getting sick. And I dont just mean my kidney stone. I am falling apart! meeeh!
Work is crazy today- I arrived at 12:30 to a room out of control. The medicine world is like that, totally unpredictable.
hey, thanks for the good comments guys! I really liked the version that Mel came up with! That was awesome! I admit I hadnt looked THAT hard for other versions...so I am glad you guys did your homework. :-)
So, I had an interesting conversation with a friend the other day, she was talking about how she really needed to do a quiet time and that she hadnt done one in a reeeeally long time. She than said something like, "I think I'll be able to do it today, I am working up to it."
This sort of hit me as interesting because I know, I've been there too...if for some reason I get out of the habit of not having a daily QT ( and by getting out of the habit I mean, missing one day) it can SERIOUSLY be a fight to get back to it. Why is that? With something that is so good, so helpful, so NECESSARY to ones relationship with God-it is actually WORK to actually sit down and do it?! It only takes me ONE DAY missing it, to have to fight back to it again....
Here is a confession for you, that really sobered me...and taught me a very good lesson.
So, last tuesday night, I had stayed up late-and was extremely tired when I went to bed. I actually sat on the edge of my bed and stared at my QT books piled next to my bed....and I had a very vivid conversation in my Spirit.
" I am tired. I dont want to do my quiet time right now."
" You need to do it."
" I am too tired, besides I have the morning off from work, I can have a really long one then."
" You need to do it now."
"It would be wasteful to do it now, I am too tired. I'll do a good one in the morning!"
So, I went to sleep and I was awakened at 7AM with HORRIBLE pain....thus beginning what I like to call the Kidney Stone week(s) of Hell....
At some point while I was at the hospital between some bout of pain-I remembered that little conversation and I realized my fault. Why do we put such important things as time with God off until tomorrow? WHY do I live so carelessly as though there will be endless tomorrows?? One day, tomorrow will never come.
A really sobering thought. So now, the important thing is not letting this happen again. I must press harder. For HE is faithful, God is faithful to speak. He is faithful to comfort, encourage, chastise, teach...whatever it is that I need....He is faithful.
July 21, 2005
"you look tired"
I've heard this several times in the past day...so I'm starting to think maybe how I am feeling is starting to show up in my appearance. Ah well, I guess not being able to sleep well for a week really starts to get to ya.
In saying that, I actually slept really well last night. Yay! I think it had a lot to do with getting to talk to Lydia and Emma and also a really good Prayer Meeting at Church.
Before I went to church last night I desparately prayed for a break in pain. Because on Sunday it was actually really hard to concentrate and I felt like I had been cheated from a good sermon because of it. I also prayed that I would be able to stay awake because I was SO tired.
I got my prayers answered!
Ps 97:11 Light is sown like seed for the righteous
And gladness for the upright in heart. (NAS)
Whooooa, that is a beautiful promise that I had never seen before! SOWN! As in, there WILL be fruit for those who strive for righteousness...there will Light, there will be Gladness! Wow.
Its interesting that the word sown is only in the NAS version...but I like it.
After church Anna and I had an interesting time with Thomas. I have to admit our main topic of conversation is something I've felt in the dark about for a long time...and while I still feel in the dark I've finally decided how I am going to pray about it. Very Generally.
Do you think there are ever times you are TOO emotionally involved in something and you actually FEEL your own opinions getting in the way of praying about it? That is how I've felt about this particular issue. USUALLY I am able to pray about my personal opinions first and get them sorted out and then I can pray about whatever it is....but with THIS, I feel like everytime I pray about it I have to spend tons of time hashing out all of my own hurt, my own emotions before I can even begin....so do you think maybe just skipping over that is ok? I mean, it doesnt ultimately matter how *i* feel as long as the Kingdom of God is glorified in this situation...as long as His Will is done.
I also got to talk to my girls last night, I havent really talked to them since Italy...which seems SO long ago! It always makes me feel better to hear their voices-even if one or all of use isnt doing particularly well...it just makes me pray for my friends MORE...which is always a good thing. I continue to thank God for each of my friendships-whether here in Texas or overseas, I realize that I am truly blessed to have such special friends.
~~~
Well, that catches us up to this morning. I am extremly sleepy and I am reeeeally hoping i get to take a nap this afternoon. This is my first half day of work in a long time which makes me happy. Ten hours straight is actually starting to grow on me and I am able to do it without thinking-but today....well, today I am looking forward to just 6 hours. ;-)
In saying that, I actually slept really well last night. Yay! I think it had a lot to do with getting to talk to Lydia and Emma and also a really good Prayer Meeting at Church.
Before I went to church last night I desparately prayed for a break in pain. Because on Sunday it was actually really hard to concentrate and I felt like I had been cheated from a good sermon because of it. I also prayed that I would be able to stay awake because I was SO tired.
I got my prayers answered!
Ps 97:11 Light is sown like seed for the righteous
And gladness for the upright in heart. (NAS)
Whooooa, that is a beautiful promise that I had never seen before! SOWN! As in, there WILL be fruit for those who strive for righteousness...there will Light, there will be Gladness! Wow.
Its interesting that the word sown is only in the NAS version...but I like it.
After church Anna and I had an interesting time with Thomas. I have to admit our main topic of conversation is something I've felt in the dark about for a long time...and while I still feel in the dark I've finally decided how I am going to pray about it. Very Generally.
Do you think there are ever times you are TOO emotionally involved in something and you actually FEEL your own opinions getting in the way of praying about it? That is how I've felt about this particular issue. USUALLY I am able to pray about my personal opinions first and get them sorted out and then I can pray about whatever it is....but with THIS, I feel like everytime I pray about it I have to spend tons of time hashing out all of my own hurt, my own emotions before I can even begin....so do you think maybe just skipping over that is ok? I mean, it doesnt ultimately matter how *i* feel as long as the Kingdom of God is glorified in this situation...as long as His Will is done.
I also got to talk to my girls last night, I havent really talked to them since Italy...which seems SO long ago! It always makes me feel better to hear their voices-even if one or all of use isnt doing particularly well...it just makes me pray for my friends MORE...which is always a good thing. I continue to thank God for each of my friendships-whether here in Texas or overseas, I realize that I am truly blessed to have such special friends.
~~~
Well, that catches us up to this morning. I am extremly sleepy and I am reeeeally hoping i get to take a nap this afternoon. This is my first half day of work in a long time which makes me happy. Ten hours straight is actually starting to grow on me and I am able to do it without thinking-but today....well, today I am looking forward to just 6 hours. ;-)
July 20, 2005
scrub fashion and MORE!
EDIT: I almost forgot to give some props to Jared who came out of a long blogging break to complete the questionaire! :-)
my title sounds like a cheesy advertisment....but its not.
ummm...anyway....
I just read THIS
1 John :6-10 This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.
Which reeeeally fit for today. Isnt it crazy cool how no matter HOW many times you read the Bible-it is constanly speaking to you as though it was the first time....shows what a slow learner I am ;-)
~~~
Wait, that wasnt why I was initially going to blog...hmmmm....ah yes, my new scrubs that Lydia asked about. For those of you that dont know, I have now been working for the radiologists since April and I only had ( counting in head) 4 different tops and two different pants options....booooooo! I was SO tired of them that when I got back from Italy I went shopping and bought three new tops and one new pair of pants.
The pants are black. The tops are bright electric blue, light lilic purple, and bright pink....nice cheerful colors in my opinion. :-)
In many ways I cant get used to the whole "wearing scrubs" thing about the medical field-its just so boring and hard to get motivated about. There is also a GREAT danger of falling prey to what I like to call "fashion peer pressure" that causes normal people with normal fashion sense to do stupid things like wear scrubs with Herbie the disney VWBeetle all over it...or Mickey mouse and friends....now, I say this with complete love for those who do the above act....I mean, it obviously has nothing to do with their NORMAL fashion sense....surely.
Its just a matter of being surrounded with other people wearing such silly scrubs all day- and then the bordom of your own bland waredrobe that pushes one to such extremes.
Buuut, luckily I had a feeling this might happen, so when I first got this job I told my sister she was not to allow me to buy scrubs that even slightly resembled childrens PJs....and sure enough last week I was EXTREMELY tempted to buy scrubs with Strawberry shortcake all over it....luckily I made it through that temptation unharmed. But, I know the longer I work here and the longer I see other people with such "fun" and "cheerful" scrubs I will be tempted again. The reason behind this steadfast rule is that I know that while OTHERS may be able to pull off such outfits, kind of like schoolteachers pulling off the vest with festive buttons all over it with matching stretch pants....I know that *i* will never be one of those people. I would just look like a little kid who is running around in my PJs in the middle of the day.
my title sounds like a cheesy advertisment....but its not.
ummm...anyway....
I just read THIS
1 John :6-10 This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.
Which reeeeally fit for today. Isnt it crazy cool how no matter HOW many times you read the Bible-it is constanly speaking to you as though it was the first time....shows what a slow learner I am ;-)
~~~
Wait, that wasnt why I was initially going to blog...hmmmm....ah yes, my new scrubs that Lydia asked about. For those of you that dont know, I have now been working for the radiologists since April and I only had ( counting in head) 4 different tops and two different pants options....booooooo! I was SO tired of them that when I got back from Italy I went shopping and bought three new tops and one new pair of pants.
The pants are black. The tops are bright electric blue, light lilic purple, and bright pink....nice cheerful colors in my opinion. :-)
In many ways I cant get used to the whole "wearing scrubs" thing about the medical field-its just so boring and hard to get motivated about. There is also a GREAT danger of falling prey to what I like to call "fashion peer pressure" that causes normal people with normal fashion sense to do stupid things like wear scrubs with Herbie the disney VWBeetle all over it...or Mickey mouse and friends....now, I say this with complete love for those who do the above act....I mean, it obviously has nothing to do with their NORMAL fashion sense....surely.
Its just a matter of being surrounded with other people wearing such silly scrubs all day- and then the bordom of your own bland waredrobe that pushes one to such extremes.
Buuut, luckily I had a feeling this might happen, so when I first got this job I told my sister she was not to allow me to buy scrubs that even slightly resembled childrens PJs....and sure enough last week I was EXTREMELY tempted to buy scrubs with Strawberry shortcake all over it....luckily I made it through that temptation unharmed. But, I know the longer I work here and the longer I see other people with such "fun" and "cheerful" scrubs I will be tempted again. The reason behind this steadfast rule is that I know that while OTHERS may be able to pull off such outfits, kind of like schoolteachers pulling off the vest with festive buttons all over it with matching stretch pants....I know that *i* will never be one of those people. I would just look like a little kid who is running around in my PJs in the middle of the day.
blast....
Well, just in case you havent been counting the days ( like I have). Today is my one week anniversary with my kidney stone.
I went to see the urologist today....which was helpful in that he told me he would "blast the stone" anytime I wanted...and he also gave me some medicine that I can take that wont "put me down" like codine...which is nice, so I am taking that now here at work. woo.
I've decided not to get the stone "blasted"-mostly because I am an optomistic person by nature and even though its been a WEEK....I am still hoping I'll pass this stupid stone. And I dont really know how long it would be to get over "minor surgery" and I KNOW that I can work with this particular pain that I have now, and I dont know if I could work after the surgery...soooo...thats why I've decided to wait.
To tell you the truth, I can pretty much handle the every DAY of constant pain....but its the NIGHTS that get me down. I havent been sleeping very well, and I have the tendency to feel really sorry for myself at night. ;-)
On a not so "kidney stone" related news....Katie and I went shopping for places to live yesterday-we didnt really find anything that just yelled "we want to live here!"....but Katie is going on holiday for the next two weeks with her family so I have some time to do follow up on the places that we thought MIGHT be possiblities...I think the events of the past week have slowed me down a little bit on the moving thing- dont get me wrong I would love to find a place tomorrow and be totally moved out by the time my parents get home, but I think i am being more realistic now...Its going to take a while to find a place...but I am sure the perfect place is out there.
Lets see what other news? Oh, I read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince...I read it in practically one sitting....from about 7Pm to 5am in the morning....with various tasks stuck in between....I finished it into the night mostly with the help of my "not sleeping" thing....
I am just DYING to talk to someone about it...so if you've read it let me know...send me email on your thoughts or something :-)
I went to see the urologist today....which was helpful in that he told me he would "blast the stone" anytime I wanted...and he also gave me some medicine that I can take that wont "put me down" like codine...which is nice, so I am taking that now here at work. woo.
I've decided not to get the stone "blasted"-mostly because I am an optomistic person by nature and even though its been a WEEK....I am still hoping I'll pass this stupid stone. And I dont really know how long it would be to get over "minor surgery" and I KNOW that I can work with this particular pain that I have now, and I dont know if I could work after the surgery...soooo...thats why I've decided to wait.
To tell you the truth, I can pretty much handle the every DAY of constant pain....but its the NIGHTS that get me down. I havent been sleeping very well, and I have the tendency to feel really sorry for myself at night. ;-)
On a not so "kidney stone" related news....Katie and I went shopping for places to live yesterday-we didnt really find anything that just yelled "we want to live here!"....but Katie is going on holiday for the next two weeks with her family so I have some time to do follow up on the places that we thought MIGHT be possiblities...I think the events of the past week have slowed me down a little bit on the moving thing- dont get me wrong I would love to find a place tomorrow and be totally moved out by the time my parents get home, but I think i am being more realistic now...Its going to take a while to find a place...but I am sure the perfect place is out there.
Lets see what other news? Oh, I read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince...I read it in practically one sitting....from about 7Pm to 5am in the morning....with various tasks stuck in between....I finished it into the night mostly with the help of my "not sleeping" thing....
I am just DYING to talk to someone about it...so if you've read it let me know...send me email on your thoughts or something :-)
July 18, 2005
oversharing
yeah, I was in considerable pain yesterday....and barely made it through church. Went home and sat on the couch for a few hours, with a pillow stuffed up onto my left side ( somehow the pressure helps) until Anna brought me homemade lunch curtiousy of Ryan's mom. She ALSO brought me codeine....which really helped with the pain.... To say the least....what WAS my stupid doctor talking about when he said "nothing would be able to help the pain." ?!?!?!
He is so getting fired.
Yeah, the last straw came when he called the reading room today ( I am working all day) and was totally short with me, and as rude as ever! And now I he cant even use the excuse that he doesnt know who I am! I TOLD him where I worked during one of our annoying "chitchat" moments while I was in the hospital. And let me just say right now before you all start accusing me of acting in a fit of pain.....Everyone ( all of my "motherly figures" that were in my room when he came around on rounds agreed that he wasnt very helpful OR nice.
Dr. Mean is gone forever, I cant WAIT to call up his office and ask for my files to be moved. mmmmmwhahahaha.
SOooOoOOo. Its 3:30. Only a few more hours of this place before I can relax. I am incredibly grateful that my prayers were answered today and I havent been in any major pain at all today. Infact, I might go so FAR as to VENTURE to say THAT my kidney stone COULD be gone. Its either GONE or its being horribly overshadowed by PMS cramps. Yes, you may think I am oversharing ( because I am) but you will find that when YOU are in pain- you too, will start to have NO qualms about sharing personal facts about yourself. Yes, anyway, back to my pain...I am sad to say that I am going from one form of pain to another and I am pretty sure Mr. KS ( as I have foundly named my kidney stone) is still hanging out somewhere between my kidney and my bladder. woo.
Hey speaking of which, today one of my doctors ( not to be confused with my ACTUAL doctor...as in the person i go to for medical care, unlike 'my doctors' who I work for...) anyway, one of my doctors told me I needed to go home and drink a six-pack of beer, it helps "clean you out". This is actually not so odd, because that is what one of the nurses I work with told me to do last week....I laughed at her. But after being in pain for many days in a row I am starting to take the advice more seriously...and if I didnt hate the taste of beer SO MUCH. I might actually do it.
No matter, whatever I decide to do tonight it WILL include me reading the new Harry Potter...which I bought at Wal-Mart at 9:36PM last night when I was there buying scrubs ( long story)-it was at Wal-Mart that Anna and I encountered the rudest checkout girl ever. She was extremely lucky that I didnt give her "words" because she had NO IDEA how on my last nerve I actually was....
I am tired. I am tired of pain.
He is so getting fired.
Yeah, the last straw came when he called the reading room today ( I am working all day) and was totally short with me, and as rude as ever! And now I he cant even use the excuse that he doesnt know who I am! I TOLD him where I worked during one of our annoying "chitchat" moments while I was in the hospital. And let me just say right now before you all start accusing me of acting in a fit of pain.....Everyone ( all of my "motherly figures" that were in my room when he came around on rounds agreed that he wasnt very helpful OR nice.
Dr. Mean is gone forever, I cant WAIT to call up his office and ask for my files to be moved. mmmmmwhahahaha.
SOooOoOOo. Its 3:30. Only a few more hours of this place before I can relax. I am incredibly grateful that my prayers were answered today and I havent been in any major pain at all today. Infact, I might go so FAR as to VENTURE to say THAT my kidney stone COULD be gone. Its either GONE or its being horribly overshadowed by PMS cramps. Yes, you may think I am oversharing ( because I am) but you will find that when YOU are in pain- you too, will start to have NO qualms about sharing personal facts about yourself. Yes, anyway, back to my pain...I am sad to say that I am going from one form of pain to another and I am pretty sure Mr. KS ( as I have foundly named my kidney stone) is still hanging out somewhere between my kidney and my bladder. woo.
Hey speaking of which, today one of my doctors ( not to be confused with my ACTUAL doctor...as in the person i go to for medical care, unlike 'my doctors' who I work for...) anyway, one of my doctors told me I needed to go home and drink a six-pack of beer, it helps "clean you out". This is actually not so odd, because that is what one of the nurses I work with told me to do last week....I laughed at her. But after being in pain for many days in a row I am starting to take the advice more seriously...and if I didnt hate the taste of beer SO MUCH. I might actually do it.
No matter, whatever I decide to do tonight it WILL include me reading the new Harry Potter...which I bought at Wal-Mart at 9:36PM last night when I was there buying scrubs ( long story)-it was at Wal-Mart that Anna and I encountered the rudest checkout girl ever. She was extremely lucky that I didnt give her "words" because she had NO IDEA how on my last nerve I actually was....
I am tired. I am tired of pain.
July 17, 2005
no end in sight...
To say I was down would be a ALMOST an understatement at this point...but instead will just say its a good description.
At the moment, I can think of a few things that my title refers to...one being that I am at work, and there are STILL jackets piled up...most of them large cases...and its quarter to 10-meaning I probably wont be out of here in time for church at 11. BOO!!!!
I sooo want to go to church!
There is also no end in sight for this GOD AWFUL PAIN IN MY SIDE. Most of the time its just a niggling sort of catch in my side...but then, like last night and this morning... it makes itself a little bit more apparent and becomes more of a constant pain that isnt big enough for major pain killers and isnt small enough for normal over the counter drugs. *sigh*
And you want to know my biggest fear? Its sorta silly, but if I dont tell you, dear blog...than who will I tell? I am afraid that I am already getting boring. As in, people ask me how I am doing-and they expect some sort of definate answer like
" I am in super crazy pain!" or
" The kidney stone has left in a timely fashion!"
But this is not the case...its not that way at all....and I am actually bored with MYSELF. so I can only imagine how everyone else is feeling. I just feel everyone else not believing me...or thinking I am exaggerating....or thinking I am being a drama queen.
I know I am just being a worry wart. Which is probably because I didnt sleep very well last night. I felt totally overwelmed and sorta scared. I felt like a little kid. I think pain sorta does that to you sometimes. You just really want your mommy. The bad thing about actually "being" a grown-up is that you know that having your mommy there wouldnt actually make things "all better"...so you feel even MORE at a loss....
Isnt it funny that this time last week I was in SUCH a happy place? I find that almost encouraging...it means that God knew I needed a heavy duty "filling up" before this whole episode occured............
Well, I feel like I've dealt with the "heavy" stuff long enough. Lets talk about other things like:
I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. My first reaction was great. Johnny Depp was HALARIOUS! Anna and I laughed pretty much the whole movie! Though we thought it a bit odd that nobody else seemed to be laughing. But, I think the movie proved that A. Johnny Depp is STILL the greatest actor ever.
B. The little boy ( man, I should learn his real name) that played Charlie was still heartbreakingly adorable.
C. Old people make my sister cry. no matter what.
However, on later discussion and overall evaluation of the movie: I didnt think it was really THAT incredible to need a "re-do" from the orginal. I think it lacked imagination-I mean, I was expecting some new ideas, some new magical features to the chocolate factory. But this was not the case. Buuuut, it was fun. And there was some back story that the orginal didnt have that I thought was fun and interesting.... the umpa-lumpas were still just as freaky as they were back in the day.And Good ol' Tim Burton is still all about making weird movies.
On another popular culture note: I looked for a copy ( granted, I didnt look hard) of the new Harry Potter book...but the bookstore seemed to be all sold out. Darn, looks like I'll have to wait until next week-when the next gigantic shipment comes in.
Annnnd, before I go: MAD props to Sunshine for sharing deep opinions, to falling prey to peer pressure, and in the process making me happy. :-)
At the moment, I can think of a few things that my title refers to...one being that I am at work, and there are STILL jackets piled up...most of them large cases...and its quarter to 10-meaning I probably wont be out of here in time for church at 11. BOO!!!!
I sooo want to go to church!
There is also no end in sight for this GOD AWFUL PAIN IN MY SIDE. Most of the time its just a niggling sort of catch in my side...but then, like last night and this morning... it makes itself a little bit more apparent and becomes more of a constant pain that isnt big enough for major pain killers and isnt small enough for normal over the counter drugs. *sigh*
And you want to know my biggest fear? Its sorta silly, but if I dont tell you, dear blog...than who will I tell? I am afraid that I am already getting boring. As in, people ask me how I am doing-and they expect some sort of definate answer like
" I am in super crazy pain!" or
" The kidney stone has left in a timely fashion!"
But this is not the case...its not that way at all....and I am actually bored with MYSELF. so I can only imagine how everyone else is feeling. I just feel everyone else not believing me...or thinking I am exaggerating....or thinking I am being a drama queen.
I know I am just being a worry wart. Which is probably because I didnt sleep very well last night. I felt totally overwelmed and sorta scared. I felt like a little kid. I think pain sorta does that to you sometimes. You just really want your mommy. The bad thing about actually "being" a grown-up is that you know that having your mommy there wouldnt actually make things "all better"...so you feel even MORE at a loss....
Isnt it funny that this time last week I was in SUCH a happy place? I find that almost encouraging...it means that God knew I needed a heavy duty "filling up" before this whole episode occured............
Well, I feel like I've dealt with the "heavy" stuff long enough. Lets talk about other things like:
I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. My first reaction was great. Johnny Depp was HALARIOUS! Anna and I laughed pretty much the whole movie! Though we thought it a bit odd that nobody else seemed to be laughing. But, I think the movie proved that A. Johnny Depp is STILL the greatest actor ever.
B. The little boy ( man, I should learn his real name) that played Charlie was still heartbreakingly adorable.
C. Old people make my sister cry. no matter what.
However, on later discussion and overall evaluation of the movie: I didnt think it was really THAT incredible to need a "re-do" from the orginal. I think it lacked imagination-I mean, I was expecting some new ideas, some new magical features to the chocolate factory. But this was not the case. Buuuut, it was fun. And there was some back story that the orginal didnt have that I thought was fun and interesting.... the umpa-lumpas were still just as freaky as they were back in the day.And Good ol' Tim Burton is still all about making weird movies.
On another popular culture note: I looked for a copy ( granted, I didnt look hard) of the new Harry Potter book...but the bookstore seemed to be all sold out. Darn, looks like I'll have to wait until next week-when the next gigantic shipment comes in.
Annnnd, before I go: MAD props to Sunshine for sharing deep opinions, to falling prey to peer pressure, and in the process making me happy. :-)
July 15, 2005
labor pains
So, just incase you dont read comments...I've been in the hospital the last few days...and not just for work ;-)
On Wednesday morning at almost 7AM on the dot a kidney stone decided to wake me up. It wasnt long before I had woken up my sister and had her take me to the ER where I spent a whole day with the people I usually work with....except this time I was rolling around in pain, crying, throwing up and doped up on Morphine...all things you would rather NOT do around your co-workers. *sigh*
Finally on Thursday afternoon I was told I could go home and "wait it out"...but I got tired of that...and now I am at work. ( its friday afternoon)
You see the tricky thing about kidney stones is they hurt pretty much constantly but they only hurt to the point of wishing you were dead for short little spurts every now and then....the other totally "awesome" thing about kidney stones is that "unless its straight up morphine, pain killers arent going to help" so I am pretty much dealing with this baby without any help. meh. Which is why I decided to go to work...I mean, who KNOWS how long this stupid stone is going to hang out?? And I am not about to make poor Demetrius continue to work for me after working 12 straight days while I was on vacation. I mean at the moment it hurts about like really bad cramps. I can handle that. AND, if I DO have another major pain fest...what better place to be than AT the hospital??
*sigh*
On a happy note: My sister was amazing and has pretty much stayed with me none stop-she even spent the night in the hospital with me which is never fun being awakened every two hours by a LOUD tech taking blood pressure. She also made it through the traumatic experience of seeing me WRITH in pain and think I was going to die...and then worry that I WASNT going to die. Bless her heart, she was wonderful. I couldnt ask for a better sister...or should I say "mother"...since that is what she was called twice! aaaahahahaha!
Billie and Steve did a beautiful job acting as second parents. I will definitely be taking care of them when they get old, now! Getting to hold the bedpan while I throw up and moan...and the watching "The Rookie" with me...hehehe...all good times, some better than others.
Mrs. Powell, also came and mothered over me and even took me home when everyone else was at work. I felt totally taken care of and loved. I think this whole ordeal proves that your church IS your family!! :-)
Please pray that this kidney stone goes away soon...Its hard for me to get anything done. And I have SO much to do! :-(
On Wednesday morning at almost 7AM on the dot a kidney stone decided to wake me up. It wasnt long before I had woken up my sister and had her take me to the ER where I spent a whole day with the people I usually work with....except this time I was rolling around in pain, crying, throwing up and doped up on Morphine...all things you would rather NOT do around your co-workers. *sigh*
Finally on Thursday afternoon I was told I could go home and "wait it out"...but I got tired of that...and now I am at work. ( its friday afternoon)
You see the tricky thing about kidney stones is they hurt pretty much constantly but they only hurt to the point of wishing you were dead for short little spurts every now and then....the other totally "awesome" thing about kidney stones is that "unless its straight up morphine, pain killers arent going to help" so I am pretty much dealing with this baby without any help. meh. Which is why I decided to go to work...I mean, who KNOWS how long this stupid stone is going to hang out?? And I am not about to make poor Demetrius continue to work for me after working 12 straight days while I was on vacation. I mean at the moment it hurts about like really bad cramps. I can handle that. AND, if I DO have another major pain fest...what better place to be than AT the hospital??
*sigh*
On a happy note: My sister was amazing and has pretty much stayed with me none stop-she even spent the night in the hospital with me which is never fun being awakened every two hours by a LOUD tech taking blood pressure. She also made it through the traumatic experience of seeing me WRITH in pain and think I was going to die...and then worry that I WASNT going to die. Bless her heart, she was wonderful. I couldnt ask for a better sister...or should I say "mother"...since that is what she was called twice! aaaahahahaha!
Billie and Steve did a beautiful job acting as second parents. I will definitely be taking care of them when they get old, now! Getting to hold the bedpan while I throw up and moan...and the watching "The Rookie" with me...hehehe...all good times, some better than others.
Mrs. Powell, also came and mothered over me and even took me home when everyone else was at work. I felt totally taken care of and loved. I think this whole ordeal proves that your church IS your family!! :-)
Please pray that this kidney stone goes away soon...Its hard for me to get anything done. And I have SO much to do! :-(
July 11, 2005
The snack that stuck.
BOOOOOOO!
I was having a little sugarlow action.
I went and stood in front of the vending machine.
I randomly pushed E8.
I ate an almond snickers bar. It was "meh" ok.
I promptly got almond stuck in the hole where my wisdom teeth frequent on occasion.
I am ANNOYED by the almond. It WONT GO AWAY. My tongue is getting sore trying to get it out.
I was having a little sugarlow action.
I went and stood in front of the vending machine.
I randomly pushed E8.
I ate an almond snickers bar. It was "meh" ok.
I promptly got almond stuck in the hole where my wisdom teeth frequent on occasion.
I am ANNOYED by the almond. It WONT GO AWAY. My tongue is getting sore trying to get it out.
Day after.... yesterday
Yesterday my parents left for Greece. Woo. I am so excited for them, after coming back from my OWN totally awesome vacation I cant wait for them to have JUST as great a time as I did....
I've heard many times that the best vacations are the ones you really WANT to come back from....I was really doubting that was possible.
And I had dreaded the Post-Italy time. As background information, I think it would be far to say I do better in life when I have something to look forward to. As you can imagine, a trip like Italy was at the TOP of my "look forward to" list. Before I left on the trip I really prayed that I would get some sort of direction, some sort of peace while I was there....
You could say the trip was a lot of things but a chance to get peace was not one of them! hehehe, yup, I bet Lydia and Emma would agree with me when i say that God did a lot of things on our trip, some of it uncomfortable, some of it awe inspiring....all of it growing and stretching. In a word, it was not what I excepted to happen :-)
So, it was ANOTHER suprise, so to speak, when I was flying through the air on the way back to Texas and I felt REALLY good about going back! It was strange, but there I was sitting on that plane, and I just realized that a lot of my problems about being back in Nacogdoches were based entirely on the fear of being STUCK there...being FORGOTTEN there. I know, its totally unfounded fear. But I was comforted by all that had happened on our trip to Italy-I mean, how totally out of the blue and crazy that God would truly bless us with such a trip. Not only for being in Italy, but for working in ALL of our lives....It was as though I heard a whisper say, "Is there anything I cant do? I can take you all the way to Italy to bring you closer to your friends! "- The point is that if God so desires to move me somewhere else...He will. easily.
And until He does that I need to be joyful in my time here. Afterall, it is where I am suppose to be! I've always felt that it was, but I always felt fear that it always would be....
Even before I left FOR Italy I knew that I needed to start the motions of moving out of my parents house when I got back. But, even with the thought in my head that I NEEDED to do it, it was still scary because for me getting my own place=stablity...it equaled being here for the period of a lease. meeh. I hadnt really wanted to do it.
BUT, after my plane revelation I was ready to start taking the steps...steps that were only solidified when I got into the car in Houston and was told that my parents had put their house on the market, had bought and would start building houses on the land in the next few months. Whoa.
And yes, you heard right, HOUSES....they are building three.
Annnnywho, once again I felt that the moving out steps couldnt come at a better time-getting out of my parents hair at this point seems like the ONLY option.
I am hoping that I will be able to find a place before they get back from Greece in two weeks. Because, even though they, too, must SURELY be ready to see me go....I think it would be better for me to worry and fret over it while they arent around.
On that same moving strain of conversation- I was given an entire set of dishes yesterday at Penny's house!Yay! How exciting, and couldnt have come at a better time! Once again I felt confident that THIS was the time to make this move.
Lets see, what else has been going on?
Yesterday was a great day spent with my sister- I really missed her while I was away!!
We had lunch with the Toushas and the Scotts-which was waaay nice of them since Anna and I were left without are Mommy to cook us our Sunday lunch ( when are we gonna grow up?!?) And then after talking to Ryan on the phone we headed out to Douglas where one of Anna's friend's house is...they are out of town for the week and Anna and I are "taking care of their pool." It is TRULY our pleasure! We were seriously like giddy little 10 year olds on our way out there! :-)
The service at Evening Church was WONDERFUL. It was like BAM! Welcome Back! Seriously, it .....( OH MY GOSH! I just had the BIGGEST scare, I had turned a way from my computer to talk to a nurse and I must have hit the shift key, because when i turned back around my posting box was totally blank! I thought i had lost everything...meeeeh!)
Ok, where were we? Right, Church...it was so encouraging! Which was crazy when you consider the starting text was the Rape of Tamar in 2 Samuel!!! But, it went from their into a reminder of the promises that we have in God and how there is no trial, no "discipline" from God that can change those...woooo! I cant do it justice, but it was wonderful. I got chill bumps at one point.
After church Anna and I watched the looong anticipated "Dear Frankie"...it is about a little 9 year old boy who writes letters to his Dad and desparately wants to meet him....I totally cried, several times...it was a wonderful movie.. and having Gerry Butler play "The Stranger" was, well...a plus ;-) Go out and rent it today! I KNOW you'll love it.
Speaking of movies I loved: Bride and Prejudice. Awesome movie! Totally fun, totally clean...it was SUCH fun! Typical Bollywood style of breaking out into song and dance at random moments. Confession: I am tempted to buy the soundtrack.
Hasnt this post gone on long enough, you ask? Well, yes...I think it has.
I've heard many times that the best vacations are the ones you really WANT to come back from....I was really doubting that was possible.
And I had dreaded the Post-Italy time. As background information, I think it would be far to say I do better in life when I have something to look forward to. As you can imagine, a trip like Italy was at the TOP of my "look forward to" list. Before I left on the trip I really prayed that I would get some sort of direction, some sort of peace while I was there....
You could say the trip was a lot of things but a chance to get peace was not one of them! hehehe, yup, I bet Lydia and Emma would agree with me when i say that God did a lot of things on our trip, some of it uncomfortable, some of it awe inspiring....all of it growing and stretching. In a word, it was not what I excepted to happen :-)
So, it was ANOTHER suprise, so to speak, when I was flying through the air on the way back to Texas and I felt REALLY good about going back! It was strange, but there I was sitting on that plane, and I just realized that a lot of my problems about being back in Nacogdoches were based entirely on the fear of being STUCK there...being FORGOTTEN there. I know, its totally unfounded fear. But I was comforted by all that had happened on our trip to Italy-I mean, how totally out of the blue and crazy that God would truly bless us with such a trip. Not only for being in Italy, but for working in ALL of our lives....It was as though I heard a whisper say, "Is there anything I cant do? I can take you all the way to Italy to bring you closer to your friends! "- The point is that if God so desires to move me somewhere else...He will. easily.
And until He does that I need to be joyful in my time here. Afterall, it is where I am suppose to be! I've always felt that it was, but I always felt fear that it always would be....
Even before I left FOR Italy I knew that I needed to start the motions of moving out of my parents house when I got back. But, even with the thought in my head that I NEEDED to do it, it was still scary because for me getting my own place=stablity...it equaled being here for the period of a lease. meeh. I hadnt really wanted to do it.
BUT, after my plane revelation I was ready to start taking the steps...steps that were only solidified when I got into the car in Houston and was told that my parents had put their house on the market, had bought and would start building houses on the land in the next few months. Whoa.
And yes, you heard right, HOUSES....they are building three.
Annnnywho, once again I felt that the moving out steps couldnt come at a better time-getting out of my parents hair at this point seems like the ONLY option.
I am hoping that I will be able to find a place before they get back from Greece in two weeks. Because, even though they, too, must SURELY be ready to see me go....I think it would be better for me to worry and fret over it while they arent around.
On that same moving strain of conversation- I was given an entire set of dishes yesterday at Penny's house!Yay! How exciting, and couldnt have come at a better time! Once again I felt confident that THIS was the time to make this move.
Lets see, what else has been going on?
Yesterday was a great day spent with my sister- I really missed her while I was away!!
We had lunch with the Toushas and the Scotts-which was waaay nice of them since Anna and I were left without are Mommy to cook us our Sunday lunch ( when are we gonna grow up?!?) And then after talking to Ryan on the phone we headed out to Douglas where one of Anna's friend's house is...they are out of town for the week and Anna and I are "taking care of their pool." It is TRULY our pleasure! We were seriously like giddy little 10 year olds on our way out there! :-)
The service at Evening Church was WONDERFUL. It was like BAM! Welcome Back! Seriously, it .....( OH MY GOSH! I just had the BIGGEST scare, I had turned a way from my computer to talk to a nurse and I must have hit the shift key, because when i turned back around my posting box was totally blank! I thought i had lost everything...meeeeh!)
Ok, where were we? Right, Church...it was so encouraging! Which was crazy when you consider the starting text was the Rape of Tamar in 2 Samuel!!! But, it went from their into a reminder of the promises that we have in God and how there is no trial, no "discipline" from God that can change those...woooo! I cant do it justice, but it was wonderful. I got chill bumps at one point.
After church Anna and I watched the looong anticipated "Dear Frankie"...it is about a little 9 year old boy who writes letters to his Dad and desparately wants to meet him....I totally cried, several times...it was a wonderful movie.. and having Gerry Butler play "The Stranger" was, well...a plus ;-) Go out and rent it today! I KNOW you'll love it.
Speaking of movies I loved: Bride and Prejudice. Awesome movie! Totally fun, totally clean...it was SUCH fun! Typical Bollywood style of breaking out into song and dance at random moments. Confession: I am tempted to buy the soundtrack.
Hasnt this post gone on long enough, you ask? Well, yes...I think it has.
FREE PUBLICITY!!!!!!!
July 09, 2005
Quiz answers...
I was requested on Evan's blog to take part in this little question thingy...and far be it from ME not to do it...I LOVE such things ;-) besides its a little random break from all the Italy stuff....
1] Favorite Scent: coffee in the mornings
2]Favorite way to relax: blogging, actually...it gets all the thoughts out- I am CONSTANTLY writing in my head and if I didnt get it out I would PROBABLY die. ( probably)
3]Favorite movie you own: hmmmm...movie I PERSONALLY own?? My parents own over 100 DVDs so I've just watched theirs for ever...but recently I've been slowly building up my personal collection. So I would definitely say it was either The Village or Finding Neverland....a hard call.
4]Favorite movie you don't already own: LOTR:EE ( Like I said, I've just been using my parents up until this point...but I really SHOULD be getting my own!)
5]Favorite male movie star: At the moment its probably Gerard Butler....I am just DYING to see the scottish movie "Dear Frankie" that just came out on DVD in the states...but on a day to day basis it will always and forever be: Johnny Depp
6]Favorite female movie star: Cate Blanchett because I am continually impressed at what a wide range she has....she can seriously look TOTALLY differently...and she was the BEST part of the Aviator.
7]Favorite book genre: Biographies
8]Favorite clothing store: Urban Outfitters...but that can change daily. ;-)
9]Favorite non-clothing store:Hobby Lobby
10] Favorite cartoon character: Homer Simpson
11] Favorite CD that you own: Are you kidding?! I am suppose to PICK JUST ONE?! *sigh* FINE- I just checked my play count on itunes and it looks like MercyMe's Spoken For has the most songs in the top ten.
12] Favorite CD that you don't already own: Shawn McDonald's Simply Nothing...I got it onto my ipod from Lydia's computer in Italy...and I'm loving it!
13] Pass the torch and tag five of your blogger/lj friends:
oooooo! only five? How about everyone?? I would LOVE for all of those that I have linked to complete this-if they havent already. Do it and I will be sure to link it onto my next few posts ;-) free publicity...what more do you want?!
1] Favorite Scent: coffee in the mornings
2]Favorite way to relax: blogging, actually...it gets all the thoughts out- I am CONSTANTLY writing in my head and if I didnt get it out I would PROBABLY die. ( probably)
3]Favorite movie you own: hmmmm...movie I PERSONALLY own?? My parents own over 100 DVDs so I've just watched theirs for ever...but recently I've been slowly building up my personal collection. So I would definitely say it was either The Village or Finding Neverland....a hard call.
4]Favorite movie you don't already own: LOTR:EE ( Like I said, I've just been using my parents up until this point...but I really SHOULD be getting my own!)
5]Favorite male movie star: At the moment its probably Gerard Butler....I am just DYING to see the scottish movie "Dear Frankie" that just came out on DVD in the states...but on a day to day basis it will always and forever be: Johnny Depp
6]Favorite female movie star: Cate Blanchett because I am continually impressed at what a wide range she has....she can seriously look TOTALLY differently...and she was the BEST part of the Aviator.
7]Favorite book genre: Biographies
8]Favorite clothing store: Urban Outfitters...but that can change daily. ;-)
9]Favorite non-clothing store:Hobby Lobby
10] Favorite cartoon character: Homer Simpson
11] Favorite CD that you own: Are you kidding?! I am suppose to PICK JUST ONE?! *sigh* FINE- I just checked my play count on itunes and it looks like MercyMe's Spoken For has the most songs in the top ten.
12] Favorite CD that you don't already own: Shawn McDonald's Simply Nothing...I got it onto my ipod from Lydia's computer in Italy...and I'm loving it!
13] Pass the torch and tag five of your blogger/lj friends:
oooooo! only five? How about everyone?? I would LOVE for all of those that I have linked to complete this-if they havent already. Do it and I will be sure to link it onto my next few posts ;-) free publicity...what more do you want?!
Dumo_Dome
See that crazed look in my eye? that's is allll natural!
The girls and I stood in line to see the famous dome of the Dumo....we all thought the line would take us into the church were we could look UP AT IT FROM SAFELY FROM THE FLOOR. But no. Instead we were sent up a tiny tiny spiral stair case (640 steps up to just the FIRST level and then on up to the second level so that we could go back DOWN.)
now, as many of you know...I am afraid of heights and of confined spaces-this stair case and then the tiny ledge that we came out onto provided me with BOTH fears... the dome itself was beautiful-but I was plaster up against the wall as I looked at it in the midst of panting and sweating from our climb....good times, good times.
The girls and I stood in line to see the famous dome of the Dumo....we all thought the line would take us into the church were we could look UP AT IT FROM SAFELY FROM THE FLOOR. But no. Instead we were sent up a tiny tiny spiral stair case (640 steps up to just the FIRST level and then on up to the second level so that we could go back DOWN.)
now, as many of you know...I am afraid of heights and of confined spaces-this stair case and then the tiny ledge that we came out onto provided me with BOTH fears... the dome itself was beautiful-but I was plaster up against the wall as I looked at it in the midst of panting and sweating from our climb....good times, good times.
July 08, 2005
in_ruins.
As I already mentioned...we pretty much ran wild in the ruins...however, in this particular picture Emma and I DID cross over a 'dont cross' marker....tisk tisk, we are rebels ;-)
hadrians villa
As I already mentioned...we pretty much ran wild in the ruins...however, in this particular picture Emma and I DID cross over a 'dont cross' marker....tisk tisk, we are rebels ;-)
Tunnel_of_colliseum
This is a picture of Emma, her dad and her granddad as they walked through one of the tunnels into the main colliseum.
cross_colliseum
This cross at the main entrance was the only reference and thing honoring the many who died within.
Florence....Art overhaul
Florence was a literal breath of fresh air. I think it must have been at least ten degrees tempature drop. Even though we spent a whole day walking in the sun I still didnt feel as hot and I tired as I did in Rome ( as in, my ankles werent sweaty) . We only had one really full day in Florence, but my major impressions are once again comments on the catholic church. We pretty much walked from one Piazza to the next, each one had its own, equally impressive Basilica. Yup, we didnt really know what to expect, But now I fully appreciate the exent of saint worship after seeing so many different altars each with a different set of candles and a different saint to pray to. I was shocked when I saw the actual MUMMIES ( for lack of a better word) of a particularly well admired archbishop and a nun. Both bodies were up on beautiful golden altar-I couldnt help but think of the pagan gods of ancient times-how each had a specific expertise and you would go pray to a specific one with a specific problem-somehow seeing it in its LITERAL form as in the Saints coffin being right there in front of you to pray to...that was a bit....ummm....much for me. I cant see HOW that is Biblical.....
Also, seeing SO MANY cathedrals in a radius of a square mile was overwhelming! My,how RICH the catholic church was at one time! It was grossness of wealth in my opinion ( as in I feel there are often better things are money and riches can be going towards) it was a good reminder of how I feel about the protestant church today-especially here in the south of the united states ( the Bible Belt) where you can see GIANT churches...often on every street corner. While there is a difference in that these huge churches of today are not NEARLY as beautiful...I still find the similarities sobering.
My favorite Cathedral ( Basilica) was by far Santa Croches which houses the tombs of Michelangelo, Machiavelli and Galileo. Seeing them, people I've studied, some i've admired....it was cool to see. We also went to the Pitti home...which was one of the largest homes built where the ruling families of Florence lived. It now houses and incredible collection of art. It was there that I saw a portrait of Queen Elizabeth that has been on the cover of two of my anthologys that I studied in Renissance Literature! It was SOOO cool to see it in person, no fanfare...just there among a good 500 other pieces of art....crazy.
We took a day trip into Tuscany from Florence. Even though Florence was cooler and less crowded it is STILL a city and still full of tourists-so getting into small villages was really appreciated. We went to Vinci where we went to the Leonardo museum, they have made models of all the eperiments he detailed in his journals. And speaking as someone who has NO expertise or knowlede of engeneering, science or other such endeavors...I can say confidently even with just scratching the surface, as I did, that man was incredible! I know I only studied him in a limited fashion while I was in school...but I think he would REALLY be worth learing more about.
Now, museums aside, I could TOTALLY live in Vinci! It was totally a "beautiful wish you were here!" kina place! Tuscany really IS fully of vineyards and fields of sunflowers!! We also went to the town od Bucca which was a good example of a town that while it doesnt have something hugley famous like Pisa ( which really JUST consists of the leaning tower surrounded by tourist trap shops)-no matter how you look at it it still has more history in it that all of the United States! The church we visited there, while not very remarkable on the surface, had done extensive excavation( spelling?) under the church! You can go down and actually see the Roman Baths that were there during the 1st century and then the the church that had been there in the second century complete with graffiti on one of its outer walls!
We also visited a tiny museum there that had various relics on display...there is truly nothing like seeing the finger of some Martyr or Saint to really make you stop and thank God that Martin Luther posted his opinions on the door of that church....
Before we headed off to Venice we made one final stop in Florence, to see the sculpture of David. And yes, it was everything he was cracked up to be-only bigger. It was a lot bigger than I thought it would be. There was also a really cool display of pictures taken from the prospective of the sculpture-just a bunch of people looking up at it-I thought it was very neat.
Ah, last stop-Venice.
Also, seeing SO MANY cathedrals in a radius of a square mile was overwhelming! My,how RICH the catholic church was at one time! It was grossness of wealth in my opinion ( as in I feel there are often better things are money and riches can be going towards) it was a good reminder of how I feel about the protestant church today-especially here in the south of the united states ( the Bible Belt) where you can see GIANT churches...often on every street corner. While there is a difference in that these huge churches of today are not NEARLY as beautiful...I still find the similarities sobering.
My favorite Cathedral ( Basilica) was by far Santa Croches which houses the tombs of Michelangelo, Machiavelli and Galileo. Seeing them, people I've studied, some i've admired....it was cool to see. We also went to the Pitti home...which was one of the largest homes built where the ruling families of Florence lived. It now houses and incredible collection of art. It was there that I saw a portrait of Queen Elizabeth that has been on the cover of two of my anthologys that I studied in Renissance Literature! It was SOOO cool to see it in person, no fanfare...just there among a good 500 other pieces of art....crazy.
We took a day trip into Tuscany from Florence. Even though Florence was cooler and less crowded it is STILL a city and still full of tourists-so getting into small villages was really appreciated. We went to Vinci where we went to the Leonardo museum, they have made models of all the eperiments he detailed in his journals. And speaking as someone who has NO expertise or knowlede of engeneering, science or other such endeavors...I can say confidently even with just scratching the surface, as I did, that man was incredible! I know I only studied him in a limited fashion while I was in school...but I think he would REALLY be worth learing more about.
Now, museums aside, I could TOTALLY live in Vinci! It was totally a "beautiful wish you were here!" kina place! Tuscany really IS fully of vineyards and fields of sunflowers!! We also went to the town od Bucca which was a good example of a town that while it doesnt have something hugley famous like Pisa ( which really JUST consists of the leaning tower surrounded by tourist trap shops)-no matter how you look at it it still has more history in it that all of the United States! The church we visited there, while not very remarkable on the surface, had done extensive excavation( spelling?) under the church! You can go down and actually see the Roman Baths that were there during the 1st century and then the the church that had been there in the second century complete with graffiti on one of its outer walls!
We also visited a tiny museum there that had various relics on display...there is truly nothing like seeing the finger of some Martyr or Saint to really make you stop and thank God that Martin Luther posted his opinions on the door of that church....
Before we headed off to Venice we made one final stop in Florence, to see the sculpture of David. And yes, it was everything he was cracked up to be-only bigger. It was a lot bigger than I thought it would be. There was also a really cool display of pictures taken from the prospective of the sculpture-just a bunch of people looking up at it-I thought it was very neat.
Ah, last stop-Venice.
When in Rome do what Romans dont do regularly: take a shower.
I think the record number of showers I took in one day was three. So, to say the least Rome was HOT. In fact, I think there were times that my ANKLES were sweating...and the worst place to sweat is behind the knees....but my sweat glands are not what I want to talk about.
My thoughts of Rome ( as I wrote in a letter to my brother-in-law) the things in italics are added notes that I thought of today:
Rome=terribly, horribly hot. Apparently it was "record breaking heat, which was conforting to find out since my body was sweating ALL OVER most days. One day ( the day of the fated Vatican tour) the girls and I had a record breaking three showers a piece. So, not only was rome hot, but crowded-it is probably the only place I've visited ( in my limited experiences) that I would NEVER want to lived and couldnt see myself there for a long period of time. But, in saying that...it is fascinating to see the ruins of the Roman empire-the fountains, the statures. They all give off an air of "glory" even now. The colleseum was impressive. At first I didnt think it was as that big. but with a little imagination ( in which I added on a top layer) I was blown away with it. esp. to see how well it was designed. When our guide was discribing how people could easily flow in and out through 8 major gates I was reminded of my sisters hellish horror story when she felt trapped at the NFL game that she went to...I guess society hasnt advanced that much.
A side note here, to tell the, funny now/tramatic then, story of getting into the collesuem-there were seemingly hundreds of tour groups and when we tried to get passed them as they milled around outside, about FOUR tour group leaders pushed at us and yelled "GROUP-A!!!" "GROUP-A!!!" Really loud...I seriously thought they were going to kill Emma's poor eighty-something yearold grandfather who was with us. For the rest of the trip when ever we came across a tour group ( which was about every minute and a half) we just HAD to yell "GROUPA" really loudly...
I was a bit disappointed that our guide did not speak very much at all about the "games" that went on. In fact, interestingly enought, she spent most of her time downplaying the brutality and dispelling certain "myths" as in "the glatiators were not slaves forced to fight...no, they were treated with great honor and were PROUD and HAPPY to fight"...the funny thing was during the Q&A it came out that this wasnt "entirely true"....ummm...OOOOKKKKKK...she didnt even mention the thousands of people that were thrown to animals etc.
It is sad/disconcerning that after all this time we've either forgotten...or even scarier....dont want to remember.
Speaking of forgetting-we visited musollini's Olympic statium that he built in the 30s and was, then, not used until ( I think) the sixties. The statium unlike everywhere else we had been, was totally deserted. No one was anywhere around. Here were these giant statues and huge facilites and they were completely overgrown with weeds seemlingly forgotten minus a lot of graffiti. At the time of our visit, my only thought was that the fascist rein was too soon in their past for the italians to point out this fascinating piece of their history-this theory was proven later on in our trip....
I know I've already mentioned the HORDES of people in Rome. But they didnt truly bother me until our trip to the Vatican. We stood in line for an hour and a half with thousands of people. and when I say "we" I actually mean, Emma's DAD stood in line while Emma, Lydia and I went and browsed a really cheap market that was "conveniently situated" right beside the huge line. My mind naturally drifted to when the pope died and Rome was "packed"-in my estimation it WAS packed NOW....I can only imagine how horrible it would have been to be in Rome a month or so ago!
Funny side note about tour groups, all tour groups...all tour guides hold up something high in the air so that they can be easily found amoung the HORDES. Mostly scarfs on a stick, umbrellas, flowers on a stick....so what did OUR tour guide of the Vatican hold??? the Metro section of the newspaper rolled up!! The newspaper thing was a clear indication of what type of guide this guy really was...he was HORRIBLE....one of the worst/most embarrassing things that happened to me on the trip started because of this annoying little man: Once we got inside to vatican and were preparing to begin our tour...our faithful guide stopped us all and counted us off to make sure everyone was there....he counted....he counted again...and then he said, "there was 47, now there is 47! I count again!" Several more minutes pass and once again he says we have one more person...it was annoying. I was hot. And OUT of my mouth popped this comment, "Did you count yourself??" I meant it seriously and to be helpful but everyone laughed. meeeeh. Finally we were on our way and we were given our tickets and told to go through the ticket line where you put your ticket into the machine and it pops on the other side unlocking the gate and letting you pass in where a person on the other side hands you your punched ticket. As I walked toward the gate I brushed my hand holding my ticket through my hair and at that moment my bracelet got soundly stuck in my hair. There were people coming up behind me, and both Lydia and Emma were ahead of me...I had to take the ticket out of the hand stuck on top of my head and then walk through the gate with my hand on my head...I TRIED to look natural but I think the ticket guy may have thought it was odd that when he tried to hand me my ticket back I had to turn and take it with the other hand....then I called for the help of Emma and Lydia...luckily Lydia was able to un-tangle me, but Emma got "shhhed" but the Vatican people because she was laughing so hard. Loud Americans.
I thought I was going to DIE in the Vatican, which if I was catholic would probably be some sort of a blessing...but since I am NOT...it was just horrible. I will quote Lydia as we descended down a tiny tunnel with a short ceiling and walls that closed around you, being pushed by the hundreds of people behind you and slowed down by the hundreds of people infront of you.." Do you have to descend into HELL to get to the Sistine Chapel?!" I was really glad Lydia was the one to say it...afterall, it would have been typical for Emma or I to say something rude like that-but sweet little Lydia? not so much...It was a rather timely comment because if something hadnt been said to break the ice right then, I think I would have a break down. But enought about my emotional state. My thoughts on the vatican and the sistine chapel: Excessive wealth. It really blew my mind how insanely wealthy the vatican must be. Hey, here's a thought...why dont they sell off a few statues and gold crowns and fee some kids in Africa-or heck, closer to home-the munchkins who beg in the streats of Rome! *sigh* it WAS amazing though. And the Sistine chapel was incredible to say the least. I dont think I fully appreciated it until after I saw a few hundred more cathedral ceilings ( which after Florence I can safely say I have seen that many) the difference I saw was in most of the murals of that scale, there are lots of "filler" space, you know, borders and such so that the actual painting isnt THAT much. The only way, I think, to fully appreciate the Sistine chapel-with so much there to see and take in-would be to clear out the other 250 people out of the room-then lie down on the floor and stare for a few hours.
After that mind blowing experience we had a driver take us out of the city to Hadrian's Villa. It is one of the largest ruins site of its magnitude in the world, in its hayday it covered a greater magnitude than the centre of the Empereal Rome! Once you go through the main gates you are free to wander the grounds which really DID feel like a small town.. We stuck mostly to the main house-many of the main walls are still intact and in places you can still see the intricate designs that coevered the walls. even just this basic skeleton of the buildings created a sense of awe-it was so spectacular as RUINS, seeing it in its orginal glory doesnt fit in my mind...
We were SO HOT and so thirsty after walking in ruins for two hours, I stand firmly behind the opinion that the water I had to drink after was the best I've EVER HAD. We then drove a short distance to the town of Trivoli were Villa d' Este is located. I think this particular villa was my favorite....the girls and I didnt know we were even going there until we drove up. I had seen pictures of the villa's terraced gardens in the past...It had been the home of a particular archbisop who like gardening and created a garden full of fountains and water gardens and streams as an "artistic" watering system. There were three major fountains and then over a hundred smaller fountains on the terraces. The water was provided by an underground stream which was bitingly cold even in the midday heat ( I stuck my feet in for a few sounds and they went NUMB!) Each fountain was different and entricate in design. I kept thinking of my Papa and the pictures he would have taken here....
Thus endeth my brief account of Rome...
My thoughts of Rome ( as I wrote in a letter to my brother-in-law) the things in italics are added notes that I thought of today:
Rome=terribly, horribly hot. Apparently it was "record breaking heat, which was conforting to find out since my body was sweating ALL OVER most days. One day ( the day of the fated Vatican tour) the girls and I had a record breaking three showers a piece. So, not only was rome hot, but crowded-it is probably the only place I've visited ( in my limited experiences) that I would NEVER want to lived and couldnt see myself there for a long period of time. But, in saying that...it is fascinating to see the ruins of the Roman empire-the fountains, the statures. They all give off an air of "glory" even now. The colleseum was impressive. At first I didnt think it was as that big. but with a little imagination ( in which I added on a top layer) I was blown away with it. esp. to see how well it was designed. When our guide was discribing how people could easily flow in and out through 8 major gates I was reminded of my sisters hellish horror story when she felt trapped at the NFL game that she went to...I guess society hasnt advanced that much.
A side note here, to tell the, funny now/tramatic then, story of getting into the collesuem-there were seemingly hundreds of tour groups and when we tried to get passed them as they milled around outside, about FOUR tour group leaders pushed at us and yelled "GROUP-A!!!" "GROUP-A!!!" Really loud...I seriously thought they were going to kill Emma's poor eighty-something yearold grandfather who was with us. For the rest of the trip when ever we came across a tour group ( which was about every minute and a half) we just HAD to yell "GROUPA" really loudly...
I was a bit disappointed that our guide did not speak very much at all about the "games" that went on. In fact, interestingly enought, she spent most of her time downplaying the brutality and dispelling certain "myths" as in "the glatiators were not slaves forced to fight...no, they were treated with great honor and were PROUD and HAPPY to fight"...the funny thing was during the Q&A it came out that this wasnt "entirely true"....ummm...OOOOKKKKKK...she didnt even mention the thousands of people that were thrown to animals etc.
It is sad/disconcerning that after all this time we've either forgotten...or even scarier....dont want to remember.
Speaking of forgetting-we visited musollini's Olympic statium that he built in the 30s and was, then, not used until ( I think) the sixties. The statium unlike everywhere else we had been, was totally deserted. No one was anywhere around. Here were these giant statues and huge facilites and they were completely overgrown with weeds seemlingly forgotten minus a lot of graffiti. At the time of our visit, my only thought was that the fascist rein was too soon in their past for the italians to point out this fascinating piece of their history-this theory was proven later on in our trip....
I know I've already mentioned the HORDES of people in Rome. But they didnt truly bother me until our trip to the Vatican. We stood in line for an hour and a half with thousands of people. and when I say "we" I actually mean, Emma's DAD stood in line while Emma, Lydia and I went and browsed a really cheap market that was "conveniently situated" right beside the huge line. My mind naturally drifted to when the pope died and Rome was "packed"-in my estimation it WAS packed NOW....I can only imagine how horrible it would have been to be in Rome a month or so ago!
Funny side note about tour groups, all tour groups...all tour guides hold up something high in the air so that they can be easily found amoung the HORDES. Mostly scarfs on a stick, umbrellas, flowers on a stick....so what did OUR tour guide of the Vatican hold??? the Metro section of the newspaper rolled up!! The newspaper thing was a clear indication of what type of guide this guy really was...he was HORRIBLE....one of the worst/most embarrassing things that happened to me on the trip started because of this annoying little man: Once we got inside to vatican and were preparing to begin our tour...our faithful guide stopped us all and counted us off to make sure everyone was there....he counted....he counted again...and then he said, "there was 47, now there is 47! I count again!" Several more minutes pass and once again he says we have one more person...it was annoying. I was hot. And OUT of my mouth popped this comment, "Did you count yourself??" I meant it seriously and to be helpful but everyone laughed. meeeeh. Finally we were on our way and we were given our tickets and told to go through the ticket line where you put your ticket into the machine and it pops on the other side unlocking the gate and letting you pass in where a person on the other side hands you your punched ticket. As I walked toward the gate I brushed my hand holding my ticket through my hair and at that moment my bracelet got soundly stuck in my hair. There were people coming up behind me, and both Lydia and Emma were ahead of me...I had to take the ticket out of the hand stuck on top of my head and then walk through the gate with my hand on my head...I TRIED to look natural but I think the ticket guy may have thought it was odd that when he tried to hand me my ticket back I had to turn and take it with the other hand....then I called for the help of Emma and Lydia...luckily Lydia was able to un-tangle me, but Emma got "shhhed" but the Vatican people because she was laughing so hard. Loud Americans.
I thought I was going to DIE in the Vatican, which if I was catholic would probably be some sort of a blessing...but since I am NOT...it was just horrible. I will quote Lydia as we descended down a tiny tunnel with a short ceiling and walls that closed around you, being pushed by the hundreds of people behind you and slowed down by the hundreds of people infront of you.." Do you have to descend into HELL to get to the Sistine Chapel?!" I was really glad Lydia was the one to say it...afterall, it would have been typical for Emma or I to say something rude like that-but sweet little Lydia? not so much...It was a rather timely comment because if something hadnt been said to break the ice right then, I think I would have a break down. But enought about my emotional state. My thoughts on the vatican and the sistine chapel: Excessive wealth. It really blew my mind how insanely wealthy the vatican must be. Hey, here's a thought...why dont they sell off a few statues and gold crowns and fee some kids in Africa-or heck, closer to home-the munchkins who beg in the streats of Rome! *sigh* it WAS amazing though. And the Sistine chapel was incredible to say the least. I dont think I fully appreciated it until after I saw a few hundred more cathedral ceilings ( which after Florence I can safely say I have seen that many) the difference I saw was in most of the murals of that scale, there are lots of "filler" space, you know, borders and such so that the actual painting isnt THAT much. The only way, I think, to fully appreciate the Sistine chapel-with so much there to see and take in-would be to clear out the other 250 people out of the room-then lie down on the floor and stare for a few hours.
After that mind blowing experience we had a driver take us out of the city to Hadrian's Villa. It is one of the largest ruins site of its magnitude in the world, in its hayday it covered a greater magnitude than the centre of the Empereal Rome! Once you go through the main gates you are free to wander the grounds which really DID feel like a small town.. We stuck mostly to the main house-many of the main walls are still intact and in places you can still see the intricate designs that coevered the walls. even just this basic skeleton of the buildings created a sense of awe-it was so spectacular as RUINS, seeing it in its orginal glory doesnt fit in my mind...
We were SO HOT and so thirsty after walking in ruins for two hours, I stand firmly behind the opinion that the water I had to drink after was the best I've EVER HAD. We then drove a short distance to the town of Trivoli were Villa d' Este is located. I think this particular villa was my favorite....the girls and I didnt know we were even going there until we drove up. I had seen pictures of the villa's terraced gardens in the past...It had been the home of a particular archbisop who like gardening and created a garden full of fountains and water gardens and streams as an "artistic" watering system. There were three major fountains and then over a hundred smaller fountains on the terraces. The water was provided by an underground stream which was bitingly cold even in the midday heat ( I stuck my feet in for a few sounds and they went NUMB!) Each fountain was different and entricate in design. I kept thinking of my Papa and the pictures he would have taken here....
Thus endeth my brief account of Rome...
"the party is over, get back to work!"
So, its 9:41AM....and I mention that not for your benefit...but mine. I have NO concept of time at the moment and being in this dark room doesnt help ;-)
So, its true. I am back in Texas, back at work, back in the real world.
It's hard to believe that this time yesterday I was....well, I dont really know what time this time yesterday is equalivant to...but whatever, I was probably in Italy.
Since I am at work all day today, and my hands are shaking like NOBODIES BUSINESS...and I am a BIT out of it but I've still managed to do my job well for over an hour now...I SHOULD be able to give you SOME accounts of my trip...hopefully in a few installments. So get ready.
So, its true. I am back in Texas, back at work, back in the real world.
It's hard to believe that this time yesterday I was....well, I dont really know what time this time yesterday is equalivant to...but whatever, I was probably in Italy.
Since I am at work all day today, and my hands are shaking like NOBODIES BUSINESS...and I am a BIT out of it but I've still managed to do my job well for over an hour now...I SHOULD be able to give you SOME accounts of my trip...hopefully in a few installments. So get ready.
July 03, 2005
Money in Venice....
WOOOO, thanks to sam for the help with the formatting...I can only hope that I fixed it because everything on blogger is in Italian at the moment. hehehe...luckily some of the words look similar therefore....should be good to go.
as the title implies-we are in Venice. our final stop before the trip is over. Its hard to believe I've now been to Rome; Florence, Tuscany and now VENICE ( my dream city!)....today was our first real day here....the girls and I went for a little °walk° around...since its Sunday all the shops I reeeeally wanted to go in were closed-which is probably lucky since everything is INSANELY expensive here! Most of the stores are fashion designers...I want a hermes bag but I am trying to control myself. ;-) Later on Emma and I got totally lost ( you know when you are lost when there is NO ONE around anywhere) and it gave me a better understanding of the city, so many passage ways (aka roads) to walk down I am impressed with those who seem to get around easily. It is beautiful, but it bitesized pieces...as in, you see a beautiful window with a flower box over looking a tiny bridge...the beauty here is not seen in giant statues are big gardens...it is in the details. I like it. I like how unique it is.....
Lunch today cost 3o US dollars just for MY drink and plate of pasta...whoooooa....
I feel really out of it, since my blogging hasnt been consistant- at the moment my best account has been given in a letter I am writing to my brother in law Ryan...maybe when I am finished with the letter I'll type it up for ya...someday when I am at work, hehehe.....probably the day after I get back.
How, is everyone? I feel so out of it| I guess I,ll go read some blogs now. ciao.
as the title implies-we are in Venice. our final stop before the trip is over. Its hard to believe I've now been to Rome; Florence, Tuscany and now VENICE ( my dream city!)....today was our first real day here....the girls and I went for a little °walk° around...since its Sunday all the shops I reeeeally wanted to go in were closed-which is probably lucky since everything is INSANELY expensive here! Most of the stores are fashion designers...I want a hermes bag but I am trying to control myself. ;-) Later on Emma and I got totally lost ( you know when you are lost when there is NO ONE around anywhere) and it gave me a better understanding of the city, so many passage ways (aka roads) to walk down I am impressed with those who seem to get around easily. It is beautiful, but it bitesized pieces...as in, you see a beautiful window with a flower box over looking a tiny bridge...the beauty here is not seen in giant statues are big gardens...it is in the details. I like it. I like how unique it is.....
Lunch today cost 3o US dollars just for MY drink and plate of pasta...whoooooa....
I feel really out of it, since my blogging hasnt been consistant- at the moment my best account has been given in a letter I am writing to my brother in law Ryan...maybe when I am finished with the letter I'll type it up for ya...someday when I am at work, hehehe.....probably the day after I get back.
How, is everyone? I feel so out of it| I guess I,ll go read some blogs now. ciao.
July 01, 2005
Fascist Florence
hahah, just kidding....but, seriously, we did have a driver today who drove us to Vinci, Pisa and Lucca-the prize of Tuscany...who was totally a Musollini fan. It was funny. And scary.
Sooooo....we are in florence, we leave tomorrow....but not after seeing David. Yeah, you know who Im talking about....the statue.
So sure that I would have more time to blog...but turns out. no.
hahaha, youll just have to hope (as I do) that Ill remember it all when I get home.
love you loads...those who've written....unlike my parents. who havent. boo. parents? are you alive?
Sooooo....we are in florence, we leave tomorrow....but not after seeing David. Yeah, you know who Im talking about....the statue.
So sure that I would have more time to blog...but turns out. no.
hahaha, youll just have to hope (as I do) that Ill remember it all when I get home.
love you loads...those who've written....unlike my parents. who havent. boo. parents? are you alive?
June 27, 2005
This is in italian...
Wooo....this keyboard is crazy pills so its hard to write, but you know me...I cant go very long without blogging.
I am in Roma.
So far my major comment on everything is Whooooa. Seriously, I feel like words cant really discribe the multitude of this city...as in all the people. everywhere.an in all the amazing buildings. everywhere. as in my beautiful wonderful friends. right here with me.
whooooa. wonderful.
Even with jetlag, Ive visited many a fountain, eaten in many a piazza looking at interesting people walk by and listening to street children play instruments. Saw the collesseum today...incredible to think I was standing where so many were murdered, where so many watched...it was quite moving. I am also making it a habit as of this moment in time to have gellato every single day.
Thank you for your prayers dear friends. This trip is going to be such a blessing.
I am in Roma.
So far my major comment on everything is Whooooa. Seriously, I feel like words cant really discribe the multitude of this city...as in all the people. everywhere.an in all the amazing buildings. everywhere. as in my beautiful wonderful friends. right here with me.
whooooa. wonderful.
Even with jetlag, Ive visited many a fountain, eaten in many a piazza looking at interesting people walk by and listening to street children play instruments. Saw the collesseum today...incredible to think I was standing where so many were murdered, where so many watched...it was quite moving. I am also making it a habit as of this moment in time to have gellato every single day.
Thank you for your prayers dear friends. This trip is going to be such a blessing.
June 24, 2005
do you smell that?
That would be my freedom...which is fastly approaching...
aaaaahhhhhhhhhh!
For those of you that havent picked up on this, I'm leaving tomorrow....
Keep watching this space for Italy updates
Peace be with you, blog-readers!
aaaaahhhhhhhhhh!
For those of you that havent picked up on this, I'm leaving tomorrow....
Keep watching this space for Italy updates
Peace be with you, blog-readers!
the last day...
So, I am heading out to Italy tomorrow..WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I really wish I could make that bigger font because even all-caps just isnt cutting it for the emotion I am feeling. Anyway, I am stuck here at work all day just building up my excitement.
Dont get me wrong, today is going pretty well...I mean, its already 10...which means I've been here 2.5 hours already...here's a rundown of all that I've done so far
And I better get this out of the way first:
I've worked solid for, like, 20 minutes...and then on and off for the rest of the two point five hours. ( faxing, phonecalls, filing, finding lost xray jackets, pulling up old reports, hanging lots of films, writing up continual reports list ;-)
other than that...
I checked email
wrote email
checked bloglines
read several blogs
wrote several comments
started writing up a story
checked out a very funny/pitiful website do be careful, I noticed some profanity words which was too ridiculous for words
I talked to my doctors about various trips they've taken-including a long discussion about Alaska
I wrote in a birthday card
I ate a McDonalds Bacon, Egg Cheese Biscuit ( which I've been craving for a WEEK now!)
I also ate a pear that a doc brought me. it was reeeeally good.
I checked the progress of my Family Guy DVD ( apparently its shipped but i havent gotten it...I'm really bummed, especially since i havent gotten the portable DVD player to work as of yet either...booo! no fun plane time for me! )
Don't *i* feel accomplished thus far...
Dont get me wrong, today is going pretty well...I mean, its already 10...which means I've been here 2.5 hours already...here's a rundown of all that I've done so far
And I better get this out of the way first:
I've worked solid for, like, 20 minutes...and then on and off for the rest of the two point five hours. ( faxing, phonecalls, filing, finding lost xray jackets, pulling up old reports, hanging lots of films, writing up continual reports list ;-)
other than that...
I checked email
wrote email
checked bloglines
read several blogs
wrote several comments
started writing up a story
checked out a very funny/pitiful website do be careful, I noticed some profanity words which was too ridiculous for words
I talked to my doctors about various trips they've taken-including a long discussion about Alaska
I wrote in a birthday card
I ate a McDonalds Bacon, Egg Cheese Biscuit ( which I've been craving for a WEEK now!)
I also ate a pear that a doc brought me. it was reeeeally good.
I checked the progress of my Family Guy DVD ( apparently its shipped but i havent gotten it...I'm really bummed, especially since i havent gotten the portable DVD player to work as of yet either...booo! no fun plane time for me! )
Don't *i* feel accomplished thus far...
June 23, 2005
One more day of this...
I am working a full day tomorrow and then.....
I LEAVE FOR ITALY!!!!
Can you tell that I am excited? I am starting to think this trip couldnt come at a better time....
Ok, taking some big deep breaths so that that I can concentrate on writing...
~
I am a bit bumed because my DVD of seasons one and two of The Family Guy have not come. I SOOOO wanted to have it to watch on the plane! :-( Now, I dont know what I am going to take with me. I wanted to see something that I havent seen in a while-but that would mean I would have to BUY a new DVD...and family guy was really the only thing on my to buy list...I guess it could still come tomorrow. :-(
Last night Anna and I bought "party" food and I ate waaaay too much. Has anyone seen the new "mini chocolate chip cookie dough"? it is soooo cute! It comes in these already cute out teeny tiny cookies so that when you bake them the cookies are tiny....but the great thing, really, is that they are bite sized cookie dough that I can eat! WOO! We allllll know how wonderful cookie dough is to eat! I dont even know why people take the trouble to bake...
speaking of baking we are having desert with Steve and Billie tonight. It should be great fun! I am looking forward to it, and i am so glad they didnt go and have a party while I was gone. I hate missing out on fun times.
Speaking of fun times, has anyone heard the rumors about even MORE of my friends moving to Wellington next year? * sigh* I have this crazy sixth sense about where will be the coolest place to live ;-) too bad I cant take my own advice. boo!
I think I need to get my car cleaned/ inside and out....after the coffee spilling episode of yesterday I have become super paranoid that my car is going to slowly sour and smell really really bad. However, the time for such an event doesnt seem possible anytime today-which is the really only time I have to do ANYTHING. I am working alll day tomorrow and then I'm leaving for Houston on Saturday morning. meeeh! I dont want a smelly car! :-(
I LEAVE FOR ITALY!!!!
Can you tell that I am excited? I am starting to think this trip couldnt come at a better time....
Ok, taking some big deep breaths so that that I can concentrate on writing...
~
I am a bit bumed because my DVD of seasons one and two of The Family Guy have not come. I SOOOO wanted to have it to watch on the plane! :-( Now, I dont know what I am going to take with me. I wanted to see something that I havent seen in a while-but that would mean I would have to BUY a new DVD...and family guy was really the only thing on my to buy list...I guess it could still come tomorrow. :-(
Last night Anna and I bought "party" food and I ate waaaay too much. Has anyone seen the new "mini chocolate chip cookie dough"? it is soooo cute! It comes in these already cute out teeny tiny cookies so that when you bake them the cookies are tiny....but the great thing, really, is that they are bite sized cookie dough that I can eat! WOO! We allllll know how wonderful cookie dough is to eat! I dont even know why people take the trouble to bake...
speaking of baking we are having desert with Steve and Billie tonight. It should be great fun! I am looking forward to it, and i am so glad they didnt go and have a party while I was gone. I hate missing out on fun times.
Speaking of fun times, has anyone heard the rumors about even MORE of my friends moving to Wellington next year? * sigh* I have this crazy sixth sense about where will be the coolest place to live ;-) too bad I cant take my own advice. boo!
I think I need to get my car cleaned/ inside and out....after the coffee spilling episode of yesterday I have become super paranoid that my car is going to slowly sour and smell really really bad. However, the time for such an event doesnt seem possible anytime today-which is the really only time I have to do ANYTHING. I am working alll day tomorrow and then I'm leaving for Houston on Saturday morning. meeeh! I dont want a smelly car! :-(
June 22, 2005
some thoughts..in no order
1. I had some very very strange dreams last night, I can only remember snippets... but I blame it on that piece of sausage that I tasted RIGHT before bed.
2. I had the day off yesterday. It was awesome.
3. In the attic I found some great dresses from my senior year in high school...and this really amazing handmade top that I bought in Greece that I'd never worn. Woo-HOO for "new" clothes to wear!
4. I got a pedicure-a Christmas present that I'd put off for the "perfect day". Nothing like delayed gratification.
5. This morning I had not even pulled all the way out of the driveway when I poured an entire cup of coffe onto the floor of my car. I pulled back in and Papa helped me clean it up and produced another cup of coffee in a matter of minutes, then as I pulled away again he said, "Isnt it great that in only five minutes you can start your day all over again?"
My day went from bad to good in just that sentence. Thanks to a wonderful papa.
2. I had the day off yesterday. It was awesome.
3. In the attic I found some great dresses from my senior year in high school...and this really amazing handmade top that I bought in Greece that I'd never worn. Woo-HOO for "new" clothes to wear!
4. I got a pedicure-a Christmas present that I'd put off for the "perfect day". Nothing like delayed gratification.
5. This morning I had not even pulled all the way out of the driveway when I poured an entire cup of coffe onto the floor of my car. I pulled back in and Papa helped me clean it up and produced another cup of coffee in a matter of minutes, then as I pulled away again he said, "Isnt it great that in only five minutes you can start your day all over again?"
My day went from bad to good in just that sentence. Thanks to a wonderful papa.
June 21, 2005
today tomorrow....
Rather I will WRITE about today tomorrow. ;-)
It always seems more 'time efficient' to write blogs at work....do you think my blogs have change in nature now that I mostly write them at work where I get interrupted? hmmmm...ALSO, its obviously at a different time of day and a different time after the events I write about take place....surely it has affected my writing. Has anyone noticed?
But, before I find myself invovled in a longer post than this already is:
My thoughts for the night:
-Thanks for answered prayer.
-Today was a reminder that THIS verse is true:
"The Thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fulness." John 10:10
-I feel like this is my constant cry lately, but its always good when the Psalms mirror my thoughts ( hehe):
"Search me oh God, and know my heart;try me and know my ANXIOUS thoughts. And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and Lead me in the everlasting way." Ps 139:24
- I only have THREE MORE FULL DAYS before I am OFF TO ITALY! ( that would be the 25th for those of you who dont own calendars) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
It always seems more 'time efficient' to write blogs at work....do you think my blogs have change in nature now that I mostly write them at work where I get interrupted? hmmmm...ALSO, its obviously at a different time of day and a different time after the events I write about take place....surely it has affected my writing. Has anyone noticed?
But, before I find myself invovled in a longer post than this already is:
My thoughts for the night:
-Thanks for answered prayer.
-Today was a reminder that THIS verse is true:
"The Thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fulness." John 10:10
-I feel like this is my constant cry lately, but its always good when the Psalms mirror my thoughts ( hehe):
"Search me oh God, and know my heart;try me and know my ANXIOUS thoughts. And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and Lead me in the everlasting way." Ps 139:24
- I only have THREE MORE FULL DAYS before I am OFF TO ITALY! ( that would be the 25th for those of you who dont own calendars) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
June 20, 2005
self-loathing...
I know, its a strong title. But, I was just reading over my previous post and I started to "dwell"....some of my friends know what THAT means...it means I started (over) analyzing everything.....
SOOOOOooooo, so I can sleep tonight:
The person who I felt mirrored my feelings, my actions....is no one YOU know-dont you worry, dear bloggers, I find myself again and again as the weakest member of my family. Its incredible, actually, how strong they are.
Infact, one of the lessons I learned yesterday, that I failed to mention is that I watched how my parents, my sister, my brother-in-law, they all acted with such kindness, such calm, such gentleness....in a time when I knew they must have been feeling at least SOME if not ALL of how I was feeling. Isnt it amazing what we can learn from others? or at least ASPIRE to how they react in a situation.
I am learning that the people that are dealing with similar problems as yourself are JUST the people that you are often sent to comfort, encourage....and often they are the people that are the HARDEST to comfort and encourage from your own selfish point of view. I guess, what I am trying to say...so very badly.....is that in the end it is not in their own strength that I know my family is acting in. They are truly helped so that they may help others.
How lucky they are to have Help.
How lucky I am to have them to remind me that I have that same Helper.
SOOOOOooooo, so I can sleep tonight:
The person who I felt mirrored my feelings, my actions....is no one YOU know-dont you worry, dear bloggers, I find myself again and again as the weakest member of my family. Its incredible, actually, how strong they are.
Infact, one of the lessons I learned yesterday, that I failed to mention is that I watched how my parents, my sister, my brother-in-law, they all acted with such kindness, such calm, such gentleness....in a time when I knew they must have been feeling at least SOME if not ALL of how I was feeling. Isnt it amazing what we can learn from others? or at least ASPIRE to how they react in a situation.
I am learning that the people that are dealing with similar problems as yourself are JUST the people that you are often sent to comfort, encourage....and often they are the people that are the HARDEST to comfort and encourage from your own selfish point of view. I guess, what I am trying to say...so very badly.....is that in the end it is not in their own strength that I know my family is acting in. They are truly helped so that they may help others.
How lucky they are to have Help.
How lucky I am to have them to remind me that I have that same Helper.
for the sake of it...
Well, bum.
here I am at work, and I was reeeally looking forward to only working until 12:30 and having the rest of the day to do whatever....
yesterday was, well, I'll get to that in second.
Lets just say that I was looking forward to being a bum for a day- but then it turns out there was some family emergency.. yada yada...and Dee wont be in to work today.
Thus, me=ten hours of work.
*sigh*
Yesterday ended up being a good day- I mean, I was extremely sad about missing ALL THREE church services...booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I was working for the first one and then I went to Tyler with my family during the other two.
I knew that I could have stayed home and gone to church-but I thought it was important to spend Father's day WITH my father.
This is what I have to say about the day in Tyler:
I love my family and I had some very good laughs in the car.
But...
I found myself in a very very uncomfortable position-for myself. As you all know ( if you read my blog) I have been struggling with denial, and dealing with things...and while I felt like I was really getting somewhere I found myself in a corner ( literally) listening to someone else's worries on the exact subject that *i* struggle with...I saw my own fears magnified in this person, I saw my own lack of faith, my own loss of hope. It was extremely uncomfortable and I just wanted to LEAVE. I wanted to RUN. I wanted to CRY. and possibly SCREAM.
I did none of the above but I did do a lot of praying for help. I got through it, though I wouldnt say "well"....I just sat in the corner and tried not to listen to what was being said around me-I wouldnt call that "dealing with" but I think it was a some sort of a revelation because I saw the dangers of what COULD happen to me if I let fears take control. I also saw the Faithfulness in the Lord, in that He helped me NOT scream or react in the way I SOO wanted.
I also found another lesson hidden in the situation as well, it always seems such "attacks" happen when all other circumstances are bad too. I mean, its hardly EVER just one thing...now, yesterday isnt the perfect example because the other circumstances were realtively mild in comparison-BUT I WAS extremely hot, extremely tired, my back was hurting and everything around me smelled like an ashtray...I wouldnt call it an ideal "fighting" condition. Once again...the devil never fights fair. We just have to face the circumstances, however unsavory, and ask for Help of our Warrior.
I'm sure I'll blog again later...its only 12...the day is only half over.
here I am at work, and I was reeeally looking forward to only working until 12:30 and having the rest of the day to do whatever....
yesterday was, well, I'll get to that in second.
Lets just say that I was looking forward to being a bum for a day- but then it turns out there was some family emergency.. yada yada...and Dee wont be in to work today.
Thus, me=ten hours of work.
*sigh*
Yesterday ended up being a good day- I mean, I was extremely sad about missing ALL THREE church services...booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I was working for the first one and then I went to Tyler with my family during the other two.
I knew that I could have stayed home and gone to church-but I thought it was important to spend Father's day WITH my father.
This is what I have to say about the day in Tyler:
I love my family and I had some very good laughs in the car.
But...
I found myself in a very very uncomfortable position-for myself. As you all know ( if you read my blog) I have been struggling with denial, and dealing with things...and while I felt like I was really getting somewhere I found myself in a corner ( literally) listening to someone else's worries on the exact subject that *i* struggle with...I saw my own fears magnified in this person, I saw my own lack of faith, my own loss of hope. It was extremely uncomfortable and I just wanted to LEAVE. I wanted to RUN. I wanted to CRY. and possibly SCREAM.
I did none of the above but I did do a lot of praying for help. I got through it, though I wouldnt say "well"....I just sat in the corner and tried not to listen to what was being said around me-I wouldnt call that "dealing with" but I think it was a some sort of a revelation because I saw the dangers of what COULD happen to me if I let fears take control. I also saw the Faithfulness in the Lord, in that He helped me NOT scream or react in the way I SOO wanted.
I also found another lesson hidden in the situation as well, it always seems such "attacks" happen when all other circumstances are bad too. I mean, its hardly EVER just one thing...now, yesterday isnt the perfect example because the other circumstances were realtively mild in comparison-BUT I WAS extremely hot, extremely tired, my back was hurting and everything around me smelled like an ashtray...I wouldnt call it an ideal "fighting" condition. Once again...the devil never fights fair. We just have to face the circumstances, however unsavory, and ask for Help of our Warrior.
I'm sure I'll blog again later...its only 12...the day is only half over.
June 19, 2005
This was GOOD
I am working on Sunday, which totally stinks, but then I get to go to Italy for 12 days so I guess things will turn out...but I'm reading THIS online and I thought it was beautiful.
From My Utmost For His Highest:
"And Peter . . . walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid." Matthew 14:29-30
The wind was actually boisterous, the waves were actually high, but Peter did not see them at first. He did not reckon with them, he simply recognized his Lord and stepped out in recognition of Him, and walked on the water. Then he began to reckon with the actual things, and down he went instantly. Why could not our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves as well as on the top of them? Neither could be done saving by recognition of the Lord Jesus.
We step right out on God over some things, then self-consideration enters in and down we go. If you are recognizing your Lord, you have no business with where He engineers your circumstances. The actual things are, but immediately you look at them you are overwhelmed, you cannot recognize Jesus, and the rebuke comes: "Wherefore didst thou doubt?" Let actual circumstances be what they may, keep recognizing Jesus, maintain complete reliance on Him.
If you debate for a second when God has spoken, it is all up. Never begin to say - "Well, I wonder if He did speak?" Be reckless immediately, fling it all out on Him. You do not know when His voice will come, but whenever the realization of God comes in the faintest way imaginable, recklessly abandon. It is only by abandon that you recognize Him. You will only realize His voice more clearly by recklessness.
From My Utmost For His Highest:
"And Peter . . . walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid." Matthew 14:29-30
The wind was actually boisterous, the waves were actually high, but Peter did not see them at first. He did not reckon with them, he simply recognized his Lord and stepped out in recognition of Him, and walked on the water. Then he began to reckon with the actual things, and down he went instantly. Why could not our Lord have enabled him to walk at the bottom of the waves as well as on the top of them? Neither could be done saving by recognition of the Lord Jesus.
We step right out on God over some things, then self-consideration enters in and down we go. If you are recognizing your Lord, you have no business with where He engineers your circumstances. The actual things are, but immediately you look at them you are overwhelmed, you cannot recognize Jesus, and the rebuke comes: "Wherefore didst thou doubt?" Let actual circumstances be what they may, keep recognizing Jesus, maintain complete reliance on Him.
If you debate for a second when God has spoken, it is all up. Never begin to say - "Well, I wonder if He did speak?" Be reckless immediately, fling it all out on Him. You do not know when His voice will come, but whenever the realization of God comes in the faintest way imaginable, recklessly abandon. It is only by abandon that you recognize Him. You will only realize His voice more clearly by recklessness.
June 18, 2005
the gene pool.
There was a time that I thought that my sister and I were as different as night and day. But as time goes on, I find how FREAKISHLY alike we really are ( minus that whole cleaning disease Anna has).
Last night we were bored and wanted to "do something" ( which means not just watch a DVD)...after much thought and no ideas I blurted out what I really wanted to do:
"Anna, I just want to go SWIMMING! I havent been swimming in ages and it would be SOOO nice tonight!"
The look on Anna's face said that she not only agreed with me up even more...
" I was JUST thinking about how much I wanted to go swimming today!"
Hysteria insued as we tried to think of a place we could go swimming-we went so far as to very much CONSIDER staying at a hotel for the night so we could use their pool...but, alas, everywhere was full or only has smoking rooms.
I suppose its a good thing we ended up not renting a hotel room-what would all of you have thought of us THEN?
No, instead we ended up doing one of our OTHER favorite things to do-something that I am SO SURE is waaaay more socially acceptable and cool:
We got a pizza and ate it in the car as we drove around housing developments looking at houses and commenting on them.
Yes, life is a party when your swimming in our gene pool.
Last night we were bored and wanted to "do something" ( which means not just watch a DVD)...after much thought and no ideas I blurted out what I really wanted to do:
"Anna, I just want to go SWIMMING! I havent been swimming in ages and it would be SOOO nice tonight!"
The look on Anna's face said that she not only agreed with me up even more...
" I was JUST thinking about how much I wanted to go swimming today!"
Hysteria insued as we tried to think of a place we could go swimming-we went so far as to very much CONSIDER staying at a hotel for the night so we could use their pool...but, alas, everywhere was full or only has smoking rooms.
I suppose its a good thing we ended up not renting a hotel room-what would all of you have thought of us THEN?
No, instead we ended up doing one of our OTHER favorite things to do-something that I am SO SURE is waaaay more socially acceptable and cool:
We got a pizza and ate it in the car as we drove around housing developments looking at houses and commenting on them.
Yes, life is a party when your swimming in our gene pool.
June 17, 2005
Ha!
You people crack me up! It almost makes me saaaaad how seriously everyone took my last post...I mean reeeeally its FICTON and if I really half expected the real world to be like that, or real men to be like that...well....then I would do a lot less reading and a lot more dating!
HAHAHAHAH!
( and for all of you out there that are still on that "serious" kick...the above was a joke.)
*ahem*
that was some good times.
And speaking of good times, I had an AWESOME two hour conversation with Carmi last night...WOO!
I also had a great dinner with Katie <-two dinners ordered in the hardest possible way,
K:"The BlackBean burger without onion or pickles and could you NOT butter the bun?" and A:" The Big Cobb without the egg and without the corn relish" and then later...
A: "Is this really the avacodo ranch dressing?"
and
K:" Can I get a tomato for this burger?"
plus,
a reeeeally good hot molten chocolate cake ( if you havent had it you havent truly lived)
~
I'm not one to have a current events blog...but I just HAD to mention that I am personally sick of hearing about Tom washed-up Cruise and Katie my-voice-is-annoying Holmes and their faker than fake romance....I would personally rather hear about a "Skeptical" fake romance like the one in Persuasion rather than THIS. :-p
HAHAHAHAH!
( and for all of you out there that are still on that "serious" kick...the above was a joke.)
*ahem*
that was some good times.
And speaking of good times, I had an AWESOME two hour conversation with Carmi last night...WOO!
I also had a great dinner with Katie <-two dinners ordered in the hardest possible way,
K:"The BlackBean burger without onion or pickles and could you NOT butter the bun?" and A:" The Big Cobb without the egg and without the corn relish" and then later...
A: "Is this really the avacodo ranch dressing?"
and
K:" Can I get a tomato for this burger?"
plus,
a reeeeally good hot molten chocolate cake ( if you havent had it you havent truly lived)
~
I'm not one to have a current events blog...but I just HAD to mention that I am personally sick of hearing about Tom washed-up Cruise and Katie my-voice-is-annoying Holmes and their faker than fake romance....I would personally rather hear about a "Skeptical" fake romance like the one in Persuasion rather than THIS. :-p
June 16, 2005
Such a pity....
Poor males....how I pity thee! How can you live up to the words of Jane Austen??
Today I was reading Persuasion on-line ( I LOVE electronic books!!!) and, well, I HAD to giggle to myself...man, that Jane, she really knew how to put chills down the spine of her girlish readers!
I give you "The Letter"-
for the girls I say, "isnt it just beautifully cheesy?"
for the boys I say, " go out and read some Austen...you might think its below you-but you'll learn a thing or two."
"Dear Miss A.E.
I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means
as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony,
half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings
are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart
even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years
and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman,
that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you.
Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been,
but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath.
For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this?
Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even
these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have
penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing
something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can
distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others.
Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed.
You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men.
Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in F. W.
"I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither,
or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look,
will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house
this evening or never.
F.W. "
You gotta admit that is some DRAMATIC EMOTIONALIST writing if ever you read it! This particular paragraph is one of my secret indulgences of literature....Its embarrasing but true. ;-)
Today I was reading Persuasion on-line ( I LOVE electronic books!!!) and, well, I HAD to giggle to myself...man, that Jane, she really knew how to put chills down the spine of her girlish readers!
I give you "The Letter"-
for the girls I say, "isnt it just beautifully cheesy?"
for the boys I say, " go out and read some Austen...you might think its below you-but you'll learn a thing or two."
"Dear Miss A.E.
I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means
as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony,
half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings
are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart
even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years
and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman,
that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you.
Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been,
but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath.
For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this?
Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even
these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have
penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing
something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can
distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others.
Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed.
You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men.
Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in F. W.
"I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither,
or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look,
will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house
this evening or never.
F.W. "
You gotta admit that is some DRAMATIC EMOTIONALIST writing if ever you read it! This particular paragraph is one of my secret indulgences of literature....Its embarrasing but true. ;-)
In season...
A friend sent me this quote this past week....I loved it!
"I think Helen Keller said this:' People are like stained glass windows, they shine and sparkle when the sun is out; but once darkness sets in, true beauty is only revealed with a light from the inside.'
You have that light inside and I know that by the Grace of God you will get through all this, whatever it is."
Dear friends, I am blessed to have you-so many of you have let me borrow your light when mine needed relighting...thank you.
"I think Helen Keller said this:' People are like stained glass windows, they shine and sparkle when the sun is out; but once darkness sets in, true beauty is only revealed with a light from the inside.'
You have that light inside and I know that by the Grace of God you will get through all this, whatever it is."
Dear friends, I am blessed to have you-so many of you have let me borrow your light when mine needed relighting...thank you.
June 15, 2005
grasp at straws...
I bet if people came across my blog today they would think....WHOOOOA CRAZY!
They would, of course, be right.
You know what we havent done in a while?
Ten things that make me happy:
1. late evenings and early mornings in texas...when its still bareably warm ( as in not HOT) outside. Its wonderful.
2. my ipod and all 1,103 songs on it.
3.barefeet
4. Going to Italy in 10 days.
5. the movie Hitch. I watched it on DVD last night, and I think I may have to buy it.
6. getting off of work at the end of the day
7. Mail from friends.
8.phonecalls that help.
9. inside jokes with yourself.
10. funny t-shirts
They would, of course, be right.
You know what we havent done in a while?
Ten things that make me happy:
1. late evenings and early mornings in texas...when its still bareably warm ( as in not HOT) outside. Its wonderful.
2. my ipod and all 1,103 songs on it.
3.barefeet
4. Going to Italy in 10 days.
5. the movie Hitch. I watched it on DVD last night, and I think I may have to buy it.
6. getting off of work at the end of the day
7. Mail from friends.
8.phonecalls that help.
9. inside jokes with yourself.
10. funny t-shirts
June 14, 2005
T for Trouble.
I should have KNOWN yesterday was going to be trouble. But, then, I've always been one to ignore trouble until its out of control....a good thing? nope, probably not. Its what is most commonly known as "survival 101"
What am I talking about, you say?
Well, it started when I woke up at 9AM and realized no one had woken me up for "Family Coffee at Java Jacks"....so I wondered around the house looking for the parents, I finally opened the back door and there was my father standing out in the yard staring at something next to the door...
"The puppy is sick."
As you MAY remember we'd been taking care of a puppy for the last five days or so; and there was the puppy curled up in a listless ball next to the door- not its usually "bite everything and run around till I fall over" self...
So my father and I kept a worried vigil next to the puppy for the next hour waiting for her owner to come pick her up and take her to the vet....
~~
In the end it turns out she had some sort of sickness caused by drinking creek water that came from where she was born. She is now on IVs at the vet and will hopefully get better....its a miracle it happened when it did and not before- for instance if it had happened the day we got her than she could have died before we realized it wasnt just a dog being sad about loosing its owners....yes, while it was a bad thing you could say it happened at just the right time.
Silver lining in a dark cloud, right?
Sure, why not...I've always been one to either come up with a silver lining or go into complete denial. Its great, it works wonders...life goes on without too much badness.
FOR INSTANCE:
September 2004: Bad thing number one.
Abigail's reaction: Shock, crying, pray for a miracle. Found a possible silver lining/denial.
October 2004: Bad thing number two. (miracle doesnt happen)
Abigail's reaction: More crying, find a silver lining, pray to accept it, pray for bigger miracle.
December 2004: Bad thing number three.
Abigail's reaction: Shock, disbelief, change miracle prayer ( but still a miracle). Denial found.
March 2005: Change back to praying for orginal BIG miracle.
April 2005: Bad thing number four. No miracle.
Abigail's reaction: Total sadness. more crying. pray for strength. pray for acceptance. pray for a break. Silver Lining.
June 2005: Bad thing number five. Bad surprise.
Abigail's reaction: No shock. Resentment. Anger.
June 2005 ( one week later): Bad thing number six. No break.
Abigail's reaction: No shock. Crying. Numb.
~~~~~~
So, I just read over that...I know its not very clear- some of you know what I am talking about, some do not....
the point is, and i hesitate to share any of this, is that I am being FORCED to face the facts.
I am being forced to not have a silver lining. I am forced to not be in denial ( I mean, how can you ignore this?)
Believe me, last night was probably WORSE for me than the inital bad thing Number One. Reason being I no longer had hope for anything Easy to come out of it.
Yes, I admit it with NO PRIDE at all that I have always prayed for the Easiest thing to happen, the thing that would cause the smallest amount of Hurt. The smallest amount of Pain. I have not gotten the answer to those prayers.
So, today I tell my blog. I tell my blog something that is really personal. I tell you that I am weak. I am someone who has asked for the easiest road. And now when shown that that road will not be given I have been left with some not so nice things that I need to work through, things that I need saving from:
My hatred for the US justice system. I really must learn to forgive. Now, at the moment that seems like more of a miracle than any up till now.
My loss of hope for miracles at all. I havent seen any thus far and I dont know if I can pray for them now.
I think thats it for now. I tell you this because these are my darkest secrets, you probably wouldnt see them on the surface, when others who may even share my feelings talk about these things I run. I change the subject. I deny it.
But, I am THROUGH denying it. I am THROUGH because I dont want to be like this. I dont want to hate. I dont want to be hopeless.
There it is.
What am I talking about, you say?
Well, it started when I woke up at 9AM and realized no one had woken me up for "Family Coffee at Java Jacks"....so I wondered around the house looking for the parents, I finally opened the back door and there was my father standing out in the yard staring at something next to the door...
"The puppy is sick."
As you MAY remember we'd been taking care of a puppy for the last five days or so; and there was the puppy curled up in a listless ball next to the door- not its usually "bite everything and run around till I fall over" self...
So my father and I kept a worried vigil next to the puppy for the next hour waiting for her owner to come pick her up and take her to the vet....
~~
In the end it turns out she had some sort of sickness caused by drinking creek water that came from where she was born. She is now on IVs at the vet and will hopefully get better....its a miracle it happened when it did and not before- for instance if it had happened the day we got her than she could have died before we realized it wasnt just a dog being sad about loosing its owners....yes, while it was a bad thing you could say it happened at just the right time.
Silver lining in a dark cloud, right?
Sure, why not...I've always been one to either come up with a silver lining or go into complete denial. Its great, it works wonders...life goes on without too much badness.
FOR INSTANCE:
September 2004: Bad thing number one.
Abigail's reaction: Shock, crying, pray for a miracle. Found a possible silver lining/denial.
October 2004: Bad thing number two. (miracle doesnt happen)
Abigail's reaction: More crying, find a silver lining, pray to accept it, pray for bigger miracle.
December 2004: Bad thing number three.
Abigail's reaction: Shock, disbelief, change miracle prayer ( but still a miracle). Denial found.
March 2005: Change back to praying for orginal BIG miracle.
April 2005: Bad thing number four. No miracle.
Abigail's reaction: Total sadness. more crying. pray for strength. pray for acceptance. pray for a break. Silver Lining.
June 2005: Bad thing number five. Bad surprise.
Abigail's reaction: No shock. Resentment. Anger.
June 2005 ( one week later): Bad thing number six. No break.
Abigail's reaction: No shock. Crying. Numb.
~~~~~~
So, I just read over that...I know its not very clear- some of you know what I am talking about, some do not....
the point is, and i hesitate to share any of this, is that I am being FORCED to face the facts.
I am being forced to not have a silver lining. I am forced to not be in denial ( I mean, how can you ignore this?)
Believe me, last night was probably WORSE for me than the inital bad thing Number One. Reason being I no longer had hope for anything Easy to come out of it.
Yes, I admit it with NO PRIDE at all that I have always prayed for the Easiest thing to happen, the thing that would cause the smallest amount of Hurt. The smallest amount of Pain. I have not gotten the answer to those prayers.
So, today I tell my blog. I tell my blog something that is really personal. I tell you that I am weak. I am someone who has asked for the easiest road. And now when shown that that road will not be given I have been left with some not so nice things that I need to work through, things that I need saving from:
My hatred for the US justice system. I really must learn to forgive. Now, at the moment that seems like more of a miracle than any up till now.
My loss of hope for miracles at all. I havent seen any thus far and I dont know if I can pray for them now.
I think thats it for now. I tell you this because these are my darkest secrets, you probably wouldnt see them on the surface, when others who may even share my feelings talk about these things I run. I change the subject. I deny it.
But, I am THROUGH denying it. I am THROUGH because I dont want to be like this. I dont want to hate. I dont want to be hopeless.
There it is.
June 13, 2005
I need an index...
I need an index for my journals....but that would be bordering ( if not completely) on crazy insanity...
HOWEVER, it would be nice for me to quickly find the date of the Dream.
It was Design Weekend 2003.....
Hmmmm....I'll find it sometime, but I probably will not share it here-some things are too precious to share.
What I WILL share is that I have a DREAM, I have a DESIRE for something- and yet, the idea of it happening....how it will happen....when it will happen-none of these things are known to me....all I was given was the dream.
The dream is enough for now....
With dreams I often find myself trying to "help them along"....I find myself wanting to do some of the work.....this is of course cheating my Dream, it is cheating the Dreammaker....for it is His desire to have his hand in ALL the handywork of creating my Dream.
"Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor is in vain who build it, unless the Lord guards the ciry, the watchman keeps awake in vain."-Ps 127:1
So, I must quiet my soul on restless days that are given to "working on false dreams"....yes, instead I must wait.....
" I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, and in the word do I hope." Ps 130:5
Waiting is harder work than one might think- for it is not a time of Sleeping....No, now more than ever, I must be attentive....I dont want to miss anything! Any secret blueprints of the Dream that might whisper out in the Dark....
Granted, such secrets are few....and yet, just as a song goes through its verses and yet returns again to the chorus- so does it seem with my life and my Dream....each new verse brings new definition to the chorus....each new day brings new light to the dream.....
Listen.
Hope comes.
HOWEVER, it would be nice for me to quickly find the date of the Dream.
It was Design Weekend 2003.....
Hmmmm....I'll find it sometime, but I probably will not share it here-some things are too precious to share.
What I WILL share is that I have a DREAM, I have a DESIRE for something- and yet, the idea of it happening....how it will happen....when it will happen-none of these things are known to me....all I was given was the dream.
The dream is enough for now....
With dreams I often find myself trying to "help them along"....I find myself wanting to do some of the work.....this is of course cheating my Dream, it is cheating the Dreammaker....for it is His desire to have his hand in ALL the handywork of creating my Dream.
"Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor is in vain who build it, unless the Lord guards the ciry, the watchman keeps awake in vain."-Ps 127:1
So, I must quiet my soul on restless days that are given to "working on false dreams"....yes, instead I must wait.....
" I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, and in the word do I hope." Ps 130:5
Waiting is harder work than one might think- for it is not a time of Sleeping....No, now more than ever, I must be attentive....I dont want to miss anything! Any secret blueprints of the Dream that might whisper out in the Dark....
Granted, such secrets are few....and yet, just as a song goes through its verses and yet returns again to the chorus- so does it seem with my life and my Dream....each new verse brings new definition to the chorus....each new day brings new light to the dream.....
Listen.
Hope comes.
June 12, 2005
Have I mentioned that I love summer?
Today was the Nacogdoches Blueberry Festival, one of my favorite parts of the beginning of summer here.....seriously, there is NOTHING better than the downtown streets blocked off and lined with booths....from a local church giving out free bottled water, to the Republican Women's group selling American flags that flew over the White House, to a Gospel Music radio station belting out their music at top volume to a petting zoo where you can pay $2 to get a picture with a calf ( yup, texans are always suckers for cows it seems) ...and then their are the people visiting the booths....
Hords of people, mostly families with their little sweaty-headed, baseball jersey-wearing children holding hotdogs, Senior citizens wildly waving free cardboard fans handed out by the local supermarket, and teenagers wearing a wide varitey of hollister t-shirts and summer tans.
I drank the BEST blueberry iced tea....I watched a Sullivan play on the Square.....I saw familiar faces, some whom I hadnt seen in years, some I saw yesterday....I had a surprisingly long and realitively deep conversation with Elaine who, in thinking back, I have NEVER had a long, deep conversation with....she and I were friends with the same large group of friends in high school-but somehow, years later, I think I probably have more in common with her than some of the people I was closer with back then....ironic ( or IS it?)...
yes, the conversation was like air conditioning after a day at the blueberry festival.
Hords of people, mostly families with their little sweaty-headed, baseball jersey-wearing children holding hotdogs, Senior citizens wildly waving free cardboard fans handed out by the local supermarket, and teenagers wearing a wide varitey of hollister t-shirts and summer tans.
I drank the BEST blueberry iced tea....I watched a Sullivan play on the Square.....I saw familiar faces, some whom I hadnt seen in years, some I saw yesterday....I had a surprisingly long and realitively deep conversation with Elaine who, in thinking back, I have NEVER had a long, deep conversation with....she and I were friends with the same large group of friends in high school-but somehow, years later, I think I probably have more in common with her than some of the people I was closer with back then....ironic ( or IS it?)...
yes, the conversation was like air conditioning after a day at the blueberry festival.
June 10, 2005
my big toe.
This afternoon I tried to take pics of the puppy....but she kept chewing on my toes, which tickled and made me laugh thus making for bad shots....we'll see if any of them turned out, maybe I'll post one :-)
I watched Hotel Rawanda with Katie and her Mommy....what a wonderful movie! It fed the part of me that wants to join the peace corp...so whether thats a GOOD or a BAD thing is up to you ;-)
I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith with my sister which was a fun surprise- the theatre was totally packed...lots of annoying highschool and junior highkids....I seriously cant stand them as a whole "genre" of people. Though Anna had some funny comments on the matter-which brings me to the movie- Anna and I decided that we would make FAR better Mrs. Smith characters than ol' Angelina....She isnt funny AT ALL...and always plays such a one dimentional/straight characters and its boring....ok, ok, so we arent QUITE as "hot" as she is....but really how important ARE good skin, tiny body, big boobs and giant lips and cat eyes, anyway?!?!
Brad Pitt on the other hand, HE was funny ;-)
I am lying in my messy room surrounded by lots of clothes and other things BEGGING to be picked up and put away...but Im so tirrrrreeeed.....meeeeeeh
I watched Hotel Rawanda with Katie and her Mommy....what a wonderful movie! It fed the part of me that wants to join the peace corp...so whether thats a GOOD or a BAD thing is up to you ;-)
I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith with my sister which was a fun surprise- the theatre was totally packed...lots of annoying highschool and junior highkids....I seriously cant stand them as a whole "genre" of people. Though Anna had some funny comments on the matter-which brings me to the movie- Anna and I decided that we would make FAR better Mrs. Smith characters than ol' Angelina....She isnt funny AT ALL...and always plays such a one dimentional/straight characters and its boring....ok, ok, so we arent QUITE as "hot" as she is....but really how important ARE good skin, tiny body, big boobs and giant lips and cat eyes, anyway?!?!
Brad Pitt on the other hand, HE was funny ;-)
I am lying in my messy room surrounded by lots of clothes and other things BEGGING to be picked up and put away...but Im so tirrrrreeeed.....meeeeeeh
A jungle of thought
i know that different people process thoughts differently...and I am DEFINITELY a "write it down person"....luckily 21 years has taught me this lesson well, and now I dont even TRY to have good conversation with God...or with myself without writing something down in the process.
Which is why I got an email this morning...from myself. I wrote it last night since I didnt have a journal. *blushes*
" Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful
shouting. He who goes to and fro weeping,
carrying his bag of seed, shall indeed come again with
shout of joy bringing his sheaves with him. Ps 126:
5-6
Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor is in vain
who build it, Unless the Lord guards the city the
watchman keeps awake in vain. Ps. 127:1
"the wicked plot against the just, and gnashes at him
with his teeth. The Lord laughs at him, for He see
that his day is coming." Ps 37:12-13
~~~~~~
What does that first set of verses really mean? I would love some feedback...on anything.
Which is why I got an email this morning...from myself. I wrote it last night since I didnt have a journal. *blushes*
" Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful
shouting. He who goes to and fro weeping,
carrying his bag of seed, shall indeed come again with
shout of joy bringing his sheaves with him. Ps 126:
5-6
Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor is in vain
who build it, Unless the Lord guards the city the
watchman keeps awake in vain. Ps. 127:1
"the wicked plot against the just, and gnashes at him
with his teeth. The Lord laughs at him, for He see
that his day is coming." Ps 37:12-13
~~~~~~
What does that first set of verses really mean? I would love some feedback...on anything.
June 09, 2005
Evan wins with four....
Wooo....look at all those comments, I guess this proves that words to comments ratio is a little lopsided...I should start having one word posts and see how many THAT gets me ;-)
naaaaah.
Hey, so since we are on this line of thought-its 10:38PM and I'm glad today is over. To comment on my OWN post I would have to say that life can be overwhelming sometimes and, well, it caught up with me this morning. Buuuut, on the bright side- I got off of work at 10:30 ( afterall it was SUPPOSE to be my day off!) and had some "alone" time with myself during which time I watched episodes of Scrubs, watched Return to Me, cleaned my sister's house, took a nap and got my oil changed in my car...not necessarily in that order...but all in good timing.
THEN I had a visit with my Aunt Janis, my cousin Emily, her three children ( including the ADORABLE baby Abigail...awwwww!) and my new Cousin-in-law ( is that what you call it?) Susan.....
it was very nice to see them, I always wish circumstances allowed for more time to hang out.....
OH! annnnd I saw Cinderella Man with Kathleen....she was great fun to watch movies with-we both cried....I give the movie a GREAT big thumbs up. Russell Crowe was amazingly good.
So, I left my journal at my sister's house....drat! It's hard for me to think without my journal!! meeeeeh! how am I suppose to have a quiet time without it?!?!?!?!!!
I have so many thoughts in my head, and now I have no where to put them!
I've cried three times today.
Which reminds me....
Rude thing I heard this week:
"when women cry....its always just their hormones acting up."
SERIOUSLY, I couldnt believe I heard that coming SERIOUSLY from someones mouth....I was in shock and it took me a good few minutes to realize just how sexist and awful it was....I almost cried.
Hahaha...just kidding...I didnt cry, I was too indignite...I'll have you know, that of the three times I cried today-two of them were over movies and the other one was while I was praying, all very good reasons-SO THERE. ;-P
naaaaah.
Hey, so since we are on this line of thought-its 10:38PM and I'm glad today is over. To comment on my OWN post I would have to say that life can be overwhelming sometimes and, well, it caught up with me this morning. Buuuut, on the bright side- I got off of work at 10:30 ( afterall it was SUPPOSE to be my day off!) and had some "alone" time with myself during which time I watched episodes of Scrubs, watched Return to Me, cleaned my sister's house, took a nap and got my oil changed in my car...not necessarily in that order...but all in good timing.
THEN I had a visit with my Aunt Janis, my cousin Emily, her three children ( including the ADORABLE baby Abigail...awwwww!) and my new Cousin-in-law ( is that what you call it?) Susan.....
it was very nice to see them, I always wish circumstances allowed for more time to hang out.....
OH! annnnd I saw Cinderella Man with Kathleen....she was great fun to watch movies with-we both cried....I give the movie a GREAT big thumbs up. Russell Crowe was amazingly good.
So, I left my journal at my sister's house....drat! It's hard for me to think without my journal!! meeeeeh! how am I suppose to have a quiet time without it?!?!?!?!!!
I have so many thoughts in my head, and now I have no where to put them!
I've cried three times today.
Which reminds me....
Rude thing I heard this week:
"when women cry....its always just their hormones acting up."
SERIOUSLY, I couldnt believe I heard that coming SERIOUSLY from someones mouth....I was in shock and it took me a good few minutes to realize just how sexist and awful it was....I almost cried.
Hahaha...just kidding...I didnt cry, I was too indignite...I'll have you know, that of the three times I cried today-two of them were over movies and the other one was while I was praying, all very good reasons-SO THERE. ;-P
June 08, 2005
lions and tigers and bears...oh my!
or should I say... cats and horses and puppies ( and rabbits)...OOOOH MYYYYY!
Yup, strangely enough my family was given the task of taking care of three different people's animals for them this week...
Actually, the cats are just my responsiblity and Steve and Billie are coming back today....
BUT, crazy pills, my Dad is taking care of our neighbors horses, dogs and rabbits this next week while they are on vaction...which is fine, he has always wanted a horse, so it sort of fulfills a dream. But, then to ADD to the animal madness...some other friends called and asked if they could leave their brand new puppy with us for 5 days...
WHOOOOA.
So the question is, do we LOOK like we are starved for animal attention? I think our cat would beg to differ....
ooo...she is NOT going to be happy about the puppy... I am not going to be the one to tell her. :-(
Yup, strangely enough my family was given the task of taking care of three different people's animals for them this week...
Actually, the cats are just my responsiblity and Steve and Billie are coming back today....
BUT, crazy pills, my Dad is taking care of our neighbors horses, dogs and rabbits this next week while they are on vaction...which is fine, he has always wanted a horse, so it sort of fulfills a dream. But, then to ADD to the animal madness...some other friends called and asked if they could leave their brand new puppy with us for 5 days...
WHOOOOA.
So the question is, do we LOOK like we are starved for animal attention? I think our cat would beg to differ....
ooo...she is NOT going to be happy about the puppy... I am not going to be the one to tell her. :-(
June 07, 2005
warning: it IS one of those days...
yeah, I never thought I would be one of these people, that I would stoop to such a low low level...but I have.
I post waaay more than once a day on average.
*sigh*
I blame my job.
But all people with addiction problems usually blame something right?
I am hungry and its only 10:30. I had a very nice breakfast ( thanks to Papa who got out of bed and made me coffee and wrapped up a yummy piece of blueberry coffee cake to go) not very long ago...so this only PROVES how bored I really am.
i am considering starting another blog to fill with boring rants like this so that my readers dont have as much to read- but then, where would I draw the line? just about ALL of my rants are "boring"....
yup, looks like you are doomed, dear reader...
I post waaay more than once a day on average.
*sigh*
I blame my job.
But all people with addiction problems usually blame something right?
I am hungry and its only 10:30. I had a very nice breakfast ( thanks to Papa who got out of bed and made me coffee and wrapped up a yummy piece of blueberry coffee cake to go) not very long ago...so this only PROVES how bored I really am.
i am considering starting another blog to fill with boring rants like this so that my readers dont have as much to read- but then, where would I draw the line? just about ALL of my rants are "boring"....
yup, looks like you are doomed, dear reader...
check list switch-o
So, as you know I had a lot of things to do yesterday that didnt get to done because I was at work from 7-5:30...and now,as we enter Tuesday, I realize it will be another day at least before they get done...another loooong day at work.
Now, I realize thousands, nay millions, of Americans have full days of work-but they at least have full lunch breaks...I do not. BUT, lets just say I did...I really dont think I could get any of the things on my list done in an hour or whatever...how do people DO IT? I am so impressed.
As much as I think I am a grown up...I obviously couldnt swing it full time ;-)
My list of things to do:
Get my oil changed in my car. ( cant do this after 5)
Sign papers for my RETIREMENT ( can you believe it?) package at Bank ( cant do this after 5)
Mail a package ( just found out I can go to Wrap-it-up until 6...woo. one down)
So strike that....I cant do my check list today...so I've made a new one.
My list of things to do ( at work):
Write Email to ___.
Write Email to ___.
Write Email to ___.
Write blog. (check!)
Wooo.
Oh, I didnt mention it, but I am not feeling so hot...my throat hurts and my nose is running....plus I have ulcers on my tongue BOO!
Now, I realize thousands, nay millions, of Americans have full days of work-but they at least have full lunch breaks...I do not. BUT, lets just say I did...I really dont think I could get any of the things on my list done in an hour or whatever...how do people DO IT? I am so impressed.
As much as I think I am a grown up...I obviously couldnt swing it full time ;-)
My list of things to do:
Get my oil changed in my car. ( cant do this after 5)
Sign papers for my RETIREMENT ( can you believe it?) package at Bank ( cant do this after 5)
Mail a package ( just found out I can go to Wrap-it-up until 6...woo. one down)
So strike that....I cant do my check list today...so I've made a new one.
My list of things to do ( at work):
Write Email to ___.
Write Email to ___.
Write Email to ___.
Write blog. (check!)
Wooo.
Oh, I didnt mention it, but I am not feeling so hot...my throat hurts and my nose is running....plus I have ulcers on my tongue BOO!
June 06, 2005
Rant:
Ok, so as you know i am working all day today- and my wonderful boss told me to go "take a break" at around 2PM....I decided to go to Sonic and get their new "Cookie Dough Blast"...I was excited. It was going to bring joy to my otherwise dreary day....
I get my "cookie dough blast" it has little bits of cookie dough sprinkled over the top...Yum! my mouth watered with anticipation.
I drive away...traffic is horrible...I finally start eating my blast...turns out it consists of a big cup of soft-serve ice-cream ( vanilla) and a few bits of cookie dough sprinkled on the top all for the low low price of $2.19
RIP OFF!!!!
I hate you Sonic, if you didnt have the best fast food in town I wouldnt visit you ever again...but who am I kidding...i'll be back tomorrow :...-(
I get my "cookie dough blast" it has little bits of cookie dough sprinkled over the top...Yum! my mouth watered with anticipation.
I drive away...traffic is horrible...I finally start eating my blast...turns out it consists of a big cup of soft-serve ice-cream ( vanilla) and a few bits of cookie dough sprinkled on the top all for the low low price of $2.19
RIP OFF!!!!
I hate you Sonic, if you didnt have the best fast food in town I wouldnt visit you ever again...but who am I kidding...i'll be back tomorrow :...-(
plain jane american girl ;-)
Your Linguistic Profile: |
70% General American English |
20% Dixie |
5% Upper Midwestern |
5% Yankee |
0% Midwestern |
shocking...
Your Geek Profile: |
Fashion Geekiness: Moderate |
Movie Geekiness: Moderate |
Music Geekiness: Moderate |
Academic Geekiness: Low |
Internet Geekiness: Low |
Gamer Geekiness: None |
Geekiness in Love: None |
General Geekiness: None |
SciFi Geekiness: None |
errands...arent happening
Well, looks like I'll be working all day today! Poor Dee has food poisoning. Meeeeh!
I had so many things to do today, as well...
At least I am going to see Cinderella Man tonight...THAT should be fun ;-)
I'm bored.
I had so many things to do today, as well...
At least I am going to see Cinderella Man tonight...THAT should be fun ;-)
I'm bored.
June 05, 2005
Saving the Best for Last...
I was on my way home tonight....I had just gotten off of the phone with Carmi ( darn bad reception in the country). I turned on the radio and these words sang to me...
" Isnt this world a crazy place?
Just when I thought our chance had past
You go and save the best for last."
Oh yes, I DO realize that is from a very cheesy 90s song by Vanessa Williams....but it really spoke to me about my mindset.
I think so often I think about the Fight that we are in in this life and I just spoke a few posts back about the Victory we have in Christ-and yet, I still feel like I need a reminder....a reminder of things to come....things that are not yet revealed....we often think of death as this horrible thing that stops a beautiful life...and while life is a beautiful thing-the Best has been saved for last- this world does not hold my heart. My heart is in a Greater place.
This quote has been on a stickynote on my computer desk top for weeks-it brings tears to my eyes and it holds within it a hope that I sometimes need reminding of....may it bring you Hope tonight:
" Is this the End, Gandalf?"
"The journey doesn't end here. Death is another path. One we all must take. The grey curtain of this world rolls back and all turns to silver grass. And then you see it...."
"What? See what?"
"White shores and beyond...the fair great country and a swift sunrise."
"Well...that isnt so bad, is it?"
" No, no it is not...."
~ Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
" Isnt this world a crazy place?
Just when I thought our chance had past
You go and save the best for last."
Oh yes, I DO realize that is from a very cheesy 90s song by Vanessa Williams....but it really spoke to me about my mindset.
I think so often I think about the Fight that we are in in this life and I just spoke a few posts back about the Victory we have in Christ-and yet, I still feel like I need a reminder....a reminder of things to come....things that are not yet revealed....we often think of death as this horrible thing that stops a beautiful life...and while life is a beautiful thing-the Best has been saved for last- this world does not hold my heart. My heart is in a Greater place.
This quote has been on a stickynote on my computer desk top for weeks-it brings tears to my eyes and it holds within it a hope that I sometimes need reminding of....may it bring you Hope tonight:
" Is this the End, Gandalf?"
"The journey doesn't end here. Death is another path. One we all must take. The grey curtain of this world rolls back and all turns to silver grass. And then you see it...."
"What? See what?"
"White shores and beyond...the fair great country and a swift sunrise."
"Well...that isnt so bad, is it?"
" No, no it is not...."
~ Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
June 03, 2005
sorry boys...
Have you ever found that when people ask you what your favorite movie or book is...or some other generic question like that, that you find yourself thinking "what are they going to think about me when I answer?"
Its ALMOST tempting to change your answer to suit the person who's asking...it reminds me of the friends episode where the girls loose the apartment to the boys when they play the trivia game about each other....one of the questions was "What movie does Rachel say is her favorite?"
the next question was "What is really her favorite movie?"
Its a very funny scene, especially because I think there is a little reality in that for all of us.
But, while its tempting...I dont think I have ever actually stooped to LYING about my favorite movie...besides I have several favorites- Lord of the Rings: Return of the King is waaaay up at the top so I think I would probably give it as my answer more than any other...besides I think that a lot of people would really be able to appreciate it and connect with me more-I know that both guys and girls can really appreciate it for its BRILLIANCE.
BUT, today I was watching a movie that ties for number one, as far as me being able to watch it over and over, and well, I realized today that I dont give it as much credit in my list of favorites I always put it towards the bottom...I think I'm almost embarrassed or something!
BUT NO MORE! I dont care if you think I am a shallow girly girl who like fluffy movies...because it turns out I DO. I DO like fluffy girly girl movies....( shallow is debateable)
I LOVE the movie "You've Got Mail".
I started watching it again this morning and I couldnt help but smile the WHOLE time...I know all the words, I think I could actually quote along with the actors.
I LOVE it...because:
The writing theme throughout...the love interest STARTS because they enjoy reading each others emails.
We ALL know how much I appreciate emails ;-)
Meg Ryan runs a book store. It is such a cute store, if I was to have unlimited money I would start a book store JUST LIKE that! I also love the children's book references in the movie...they arent your generic kiddy books...no, they are CLASSICS. Its also a dream of mine to be the "story time lady".
There are also so many conversations I identify with, Tom Hank's character lamenting about being rude and sarcastic to someone who hurt him instead of just being the bigger man...or Meg Ryan's character who finds herself drawing a "blank" when wanting to say something to defend herself...
Oddly enough, I've found myself in BOTH of those shoes...
I love how much Pride and Prejudice is appreciated in the movie.
I love the soundtrack...its so happy.
I love the scene where Meg Ryan's character is sick in bed with a cold...and then when she trys to hid all the kleenex's under pillows when Tom Hanks comes to call...awwww! its so cute!
I also love that scene because she carries the vase of daisies around with her the whole time. I love daisies...they ARE the friendliest flower!!
Yes, I cheer along with this movie. I identify with it so much.
So, I really should tell people its at the top of my list with RotK...because it DOES say a lot about my character-it just isnt the hard defensive shell I usually portray. So admitting to it...is letting down that hard outer covering and admitting that I am a romantic through and through.
Its true.
Its ALMOST tempting to change your answer to suit the person who's asking...it reminds me of the friends episode where the girls loose the apartment to the boys when they play the trivia game about each other....one of the questions was "What movie does Rachel say is her favorite?"
the next question was "What is really her favorite movie?"
Its a very funny scene, especially because I think there is a little reality in that for all of us.
But, while its tempting...I dont think I have ever actually stooped to LYING about my favorite movie...besides I have several favorites- Lord of the Rings: Return of the King is waaaay up at the top so I think I would probably give it as my answer more than any other...besides I think that a lot of people would really be able to appreciate it and connect with me more-I know that both guys and girls can really appreciate it for its BRILLIANCE.
BUT, today I was watching a movie that ties for number one, as far as me being able to watch it over and over, and well, I realized today that I dont give it as much credit in my list of favorites I always put it towards the bottom...I think I'm almost embarrassed or something!
BUT NO MORE! I dont care if you think I am a shallow girly girl who like fluffy movies...because it turns out I DO. I DO like fluffy girly girl movies....( shallow is debateable)
I LOVE the movie "You've Got Mail".
I started watching it again this morning and I couldnt help but smile the WHOLE time...I know all the words, I think I could actually quote along with the actors.
I LOVE it...because:
The writing theme throughout...the love interest STARTS because they enjoy reading each others emails.
We ALL know how much I appreciate emails ;-)
Meg Ryan runs a book store. It is such a cute store, if I was to have unlimited money I would start a book store JUST LIKE that! I also love the children's book references in the movie...they arent your generic kiddy books...no, they are CLASSICS. Its also a dream of mine to be the "story time lady".
There are also so many conversations I identify with, Tom Hank's character lamenting about being rude and sarcastic to someone who hurt him instead of just being the bigger man...or Meg Ryan's character who finds herself drawing a "blank" when wanting to say something to defend herself...
Oddly enough, I've found myself in BOTH of those shoes...
I love how much Pride and Prejudice is appreciated in the movie.
I love the soundtrack...its so happy.
I love the scene where Meg Ryan's character is sick in bed with a cold...and then when she trys to hid all the kleenex's under pillows when Tom Hanks comes to call...awwww! its so cute!
I also love that scene because she carries the vase of daisies around with her the whole time. I love daisies...they ARE the friendliest flower!!
Yes, I cheer along with this movie. I identify with it so much.
So, I really should tell people its at the top of my list with RotK...because it DOES say a lot about my character-it just isnt the hard defensive shell I usually portray. So admitting to it...is letting down that hard outer covering and admitting that I am a romantic through and through.
Its true.
June 02, 2005
tonight my heart says:
just downloaded "Homesick" by mercyme off of itunes....
just read " Here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come." ( Heb 13;14)
Friends, I admit sometimes I get so consumed with my life...what I want it to be, what it is, what it isnt....all of these things fog my vision.
I find myself without rest. I find myself falling short of all expectations...loosing sight of my Life ( with a capital L).
"There remains therefore a rest for the people of God." Heb. 4:9
But that rest is not here. That rest is not now.
For now is for fight, now is for war....
And while I know this...I know the fight is on, I know that if I dont fight I will fail...I know that I will fall, just as I fell today...
I close my eyes and I see your face. If home is where my heart is then I am out of place, Lord wont you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been so homesick than now."
Oh! Oh! And I love Ps 25....especially in the King James Version ( dont know why....) go read it right now
this is the part that particularly spoke to me tonight
....HIS SOUL SHALL DWELL AT EASE; and his seed shall inherit the earth.The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant.Mine eyes are ever toward the LORD; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net. Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses.Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins. Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred. O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee. Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee. Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles....
I pray for my friends tonight that are stressed, those who feel the waves have gotten too high that they can no longer see Jesus walking towards them on the water. I know that the Lord will take your hand this day...
just read " Here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come." ( Heb 13;14)
Friends, I admit sometimes I get so consumed with my life...what I want it to be, what it is, what it isnt....all of these things fog my vision.
I find myself without rest. I find myself falling short of all expectations...loosing sight of my Life ( with a capital L).
"There remains therefore a rest for the people of God." Heb. 4:9
But that rest is not here. That rest is not now.
For now is for fight, now is for war....
And while I know this...I know the fight is on, I know that if I dont fight I will fail...I know that I will fall, just as I fell today...
I close my eyes and I see your face. If home is where my heart is then I am out of place, Lord wont you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been so homesick than now."
Oh! Oh! And I love Ps 25....especially in the King James Version ( dont know why....) go read it right now
this is the part that particularly spoke to me tonight
....HIS SOUL SHALL DWELL AT EASE; and his seed shall inherit the earth.The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him; and he will shew them his covenant.Mine eyes are ever toward the LORD; for he shall pluck my feet out of the net. Turn thee unto me, and have mercy upon me; for I am desolate and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses.Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins. Consider mine enemies; for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred. O keep my soul, and deliver me: let me not be ashamed; for I put my trust in thee. Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee. Redeem Israel, O God, out of all his troubles....
I pray for my friends tonight that are stressed, those who feel the waves have gotten too high that they can no longer see Jesus walking towards them on the water. I know that the Lord will take your hand this day...
*tap tap on the mike of life*
Today I've been listening to a band called Sullivan. I know the boys in the band from my days of youth...well, actually only one of them... the others I just knew from high school days....annnnyway, I havent heard their music since high school-and I have to say I was realitively impressed. Improvement has definitely been made.
I am pretty hard to impress when it comes to music, I dont just go with the general concensus....sometimes I think I am a snob. Ah well.
I've been bitten by some sort of bug. my arm is itching like crazy pills.
:phone buzzes in my pocket:
AAAAAHHHHHH! I just got a phone call from my sister....
~
Trinity, I am SOOOO EXCITED for you guys!!!! :-)
I am pretty hard to impress when it comes to music, I dont just go with the general concensus....sometimes I think I am a snob. Ah well.
I've been bitten by some sort of bug. my arm is itching like crazy pills.
:phone buzzes in my pocket:
AAAAAHHHHHH! I just got a phone call from my sister....
~
Trinity, I am SOOOO EXCITED for you guys!!!! :-)
face hurting laughter
there some really cool delights in life....
talking to really cool chicks about really cool books being turned into movies ( Lion the Witch and the Waredrobe and Pride and Prejudice)...fun!
Laughing hard with my sister for several hours.
Coffee in the morning at a coffee house while watching the people.....
Yup, I'm at Java Jacks this morning, I am still a bit on the tired grumpy side but I am doing my darndest to perk up.
Yesterday I wrote 20 emails to emma which took up an entire day of work to do...but at least she cant say this about emails again....
But turns out today was a crazy as day at work, I mean, you have ONE holiday and its like everyone goes buck wild at the hospital getting CTs of every part of their body....
So between actually working and filling up the inbox of a friend I didnt have time to blog...
I really wanted to have coffee with Katie...ahhh....but looks like that didnt get to happen. Boo. Maybe today? I'll call her when I know she's awake...its only 9AM.
Man, this blog is boring.
I am boring myself....
Movies I want to see this summer:
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Cinderella Man
Mr and Mrs. Smith
Batman Begins
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
( I do not want to see War of the Worlds because Tom Cruise annoys me more than any other actor)
Things I am excited about:
Going to Italy.
talking to really cool chicks about really cool books being turned into movies ( Lion the Witch and the Waredrobe and Pride and Prejudice)...fun!
Laughing hard with my sister for several hours.
Coffee in the morning at a coffee house while watching the people.....
Yup, I'm at Java Jacks this morning, I am still a bit on the tired grumpy side but I am doing my darndest to perk up.
Yesterday I wrote 20 emails to emma which took up an entire day of work to do...but at least she cant say this about emails again....
But turns out today was a crazy as day at work, I mean, you have ONE holiday and its like everyone goes buck wild at the hospital getting CTs of every part of their body....
So between actually working and filling up the inbox of a friend I didnt have time to blog...
I really wanted to have coffee with Katie...ahhh....but looks like that didnt get to happen. Boo. Maybe today? I'll call her when I know she's awake...its only 9AM.
Man, this blog is boring.
I am boring myself....
Movies I want to see this summer:
Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
Cinderella Man
Mr and Mrs. Smith
Batman Begins
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
( I do not want to see War of the Worlds because Tom Cruise annoys me more than any other actor)
Things I am excited about:
Going to Italy.
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