Other thoughts for the day...

So other than hold an ADORABLE BABY today...here are the other thoughts running around in my mind.....

.....Baseball should not be played in freezing cold weather. I took one of my friend's first grader to his baseball game tonight, since her other son had a game at the same time at a totally different ballpark...and BOY HOWDY was it the longest two hours ever! It was SO COLD. But, her oldest daughter and I hung out under a ( seemingly paper thin) blanket and made fun of the super hardcore coach of the other team, so it was not a lost cause...but let's just say, that if I have kids who play baseball we had better commit to living in warmer states when we do....

....I had to workout late this evening ( because of all the baseballing) and on my walk home I was startled by a large raccoon standing in the middle of the driveway. We saw each other at the same time and had a moment of horror before we both hightailed it in opposite directions. You wouldn't THINK I'd be afraid of raccoons...but until you've listened to the "This American LIfe: And the Call was coming from the Basement" Halloween segment ( go look it up!) that describes the HORROR tale of a women's escape from a rabid raccoon...well....it'll change your mind about nature FOREVER....

....Tomorrow I'm cleaning house....now that its no longer sunny outside and I don't spend hours reading on my balcony ( I've figured out how to move my chair a foot every half hour to stay in direct sunlight for up to four hours in the afternoon)....I have no more excuses....that kitchen floor MUST be cleaned!


....Life has been a bit over my head lately. And I appreciate those who've sent me loving and supportive comments. But, I think the thing to remember in times like these, times when you're faced with your own failings and inabilities, that instead of leaning on all those wonderful friends that tell you how great you are ( thanks you guys, seriously!) but instead look to Him...for THIS is TRUE:

"...but God has chosen the foolish things of the wolrd to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong. And the base things and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that NO MAN may boast before God. But by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification and redemption so that as it is written "Let Him who boasts, boast in the Lord." 1 Cor 1:27-31

Abigail loves David, it's biblical!

Baby David!!!

good and bad

What would you like to hear first the good news first or the bad?

The bad?

Ok, I totally had the WORST day...I was a jerk and cried twice over totally different things. Pretty much was faced with ALL my faults in one day... Now my eyes are puffy.

The good news is that I just found two bars of free wireless in my bedroom. So now you get to hear about it sooner. awesome

mustering of the mind

So, today I met up with Andrew and Cindy-something I haven't done in a month...and we discussed the past four weeks and the conclusion was actually a relief: its been rough. And that's not even on a PERSONAL level...thats just ministry-wise! Yet somehow just acknowledging that things were tough was really great. It reminded me that the Lord KNOWS all this! He knows how I've been discouraged and a little hopeless and that on top of all that its been the hardest month to date as far as this silly deployment goes. I heard someone talking about running a marathon recently and how the middle part always brought about a horrible hump that had to be gotten over to continue and I think that's what I'm feeling...I feel misunderstood and yet at the same time I feel zero inclination to try and explain what's really going on with me. I'm basically in the 'keep your head down and try to get through it' mindset...Its much easier to say things are fine then to have to find words and energy to explain this feeling...and yet, is that really the best response to a few tough times?


This morning I read this in my quiet time:

"Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world. Therefore you too have grief now, but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice and no one will take your joy away from you." John 16: 21-22

I was really stuck by this, because of what that promises in the greater sense...the disciples were about to give the rest of their lives to all sorts of hardships for christ's sake. They would eventually even give their lives for Him...yet, the promise is that it would ALL be worth it! That seeing Christ will be WORTH IT!

( This section also has special significants today since my friend Amy is currently at the hospital getting ready to give birth! hahaha! for her sake i hope these verses are true!)

Anyway, I'm going to rest in the Truth that all of this will be worth it in the end, and I will pray for myself that i do not give up hope, and that I do not give up on this life...no matter how tough it might get....this ministry that i feel called to do, my marriage...these things may not be easy, but they are ever worth it.

A return to outdoors

The past few days, where actually occupied doing actual things like attending the Spring Fair and almost dying on a rollercoaster put together by Carnies on crack, or attending a wedding where I was seated at the grooms family table, this making me the only non-Indian there....so when not doing highly interesting things that probably SHOULD be blogged about in full- instead I've been on a constant search for sun ( it's been out!)... Thus you'll all just have to wait for a rainy day for a real post....

Not today...but close

So, this picture is from two weeks ago ( approx the last time it was
this pretty) and I would share the picture I took to document today,
but sadly, it was blurry... But I think you get the point that the
people of western Washington saw the round bright thing in the sky.

I'm actually really enjoying the weather lately. I mean, it's not nice
EVERY day... Or even ALL day... But it's having those moments of happy
to look forward to, those moments when you consider exposing your bare
arms to the elements- they make this month of April good.

In fact yesterday it was so pretty and my pandora radio was busting
out all the good songs, that I flat out ignored my bodies cries for
mercy and added an extra mile to my run. Let's just say I couldn't
ignore the cries QUITE so easily today. Eeeeee! Sore!

In less happy news, I'm currently facing scheduled silence from the
husband. Sometimes I'm not as "patriotic" and "strong" as others...
This week... Still hard.

Ugly

My new cell phone case has been officially proclaimed as "ugly" by the
masses

Pouty Face

I know I have no real right to complain...but I'm feeling this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and it won't go away...
Sometimes this deployment gets to me, I feel so out of control, so helpless...

I got an email from Brett after PWOC bible study this morning...basically he'd been trying to call me all morning but couldn't get through...WHY? Because my silly bible study classroom is in the BASEMENT of the chapel!!!
And I say "silly" because honestly at that moment I had NO LOVE for Bible Study or fellowship or anything....especially since Brett's email also said that he might be able to call me for a few seconds this evening but if not I wouldn't get to talk to him for at least a week..

a week.


I'm spoiled. I use to more talking time than that.


Also. Yeah. The "awesome" financial officers STOLE from us this month ( ok, not really)...but basically we've been putting most of Brett's paychecks into this high interest account that the army offers to deployed soldiers up to a certain amount for the year they are deployed. Well, we decided to just put in as much as possible for two months until we reached that "certain" amount...but this month things were suppose to go back to normal, but NoOOooOOo....the silly financial people are continuing to take money and put it into the account...even though at this point that money will just sit there not accruing any interest at all ( because, like I said, its only up to a certain amount) ...this wouldn't be too worrisome if it was easy to move the money BACK into another account but NO....things are never easy. And now I don't know how to take care of it because Brett is going to be gone and I don't have any way of fixing this myself. I'm beyond annoyed.

*End Rant*

I could use a coffee right now.

Jesus you are, Jesus you were, Jesus you will always be...
A perfect servant to us, a perfect servant to death, even death on a cross
give us a picture of your faith, show us the measure of your grace, reveal the love of the Father
put with in us tenderness, release from us our selfishness, we will consider them better
we are Yours
give us hearts of servants....

No matter how far I think I've come, no matter how much I think I've grown I am ever in need of more Love and more Selflessness...I'm ENDLESSLY selfish.

" But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, et us also walk by the Spirit" Gal 5:22-24

My Shrinky Dink Success...

There is nothing as fun as watching something shrink down to a teeny tiny size...I promise no matter how many times you do it, it is exciting!




The girls working hard on their shrinky dinks!



My teeny tiny house earrings...I should have given you a perspective, but they are about the size of stamps...




My "victorian brooch" of Brett...can you tell?! hehehe! Mirka was kind enough to put it together into a cute necklace for me!

My Apps.

Since, I'm bored and waiting for a reply from a certain annoying online source, I'll now regale you with a list of the applications that I'm currently using on my phone ( I know you're all dying to know).

The Daily Ones:

Pandora Radio ( Free): This baby is AWESOME! Especially if you connect your phone into your carjack-thingy ( look at me using technical terms!) and listen to your phone through your car speakers...its like having satellite radio without paying for it.

Dictionary (xyster.com-$2.99): Its a huge dictionary that also gives you the capabilities of listening to how the word is pronounced plus the origins ( things I care about) as well as the definition.

Acro Bible NASB ( $14.99): I like this bible and more importantly I don't have to be online to use it...there are other free applications with more versions of the bible in one place, but I find this one handy for quick lookups when I'm doing Bible study ( cuts back on all the flipping back and forth) and I enjoy the easy to see reading...

TwitterFon ( Free): I can easily update my Twitter/Facebook status plus keep track of all the people I follow on twitter. Love it.

reMovem free ( Free): This is one of those "pop the little bubbles" games that is completely mindless but that is also hard to win, I play this game when I'm watching movies all the time...for whatever reason I sometimes HAVE to be multitasking and this is the game for that...uses zero brain power.


The Once a Weekers:

Wordle (Free): This game is SO addictive and is great for people who like word games ( this is basically a boggle type word scramble game).

Whiteboard ( free): a paint feature which is fun, but even MORE fun if you have wi-fi and someone else with a iphone in the room...you can write on each others phones! Play tic-tac-toe or hangman without anyone knowing!

myLite (free): the phone flashlight...but the best part is the flickering cigarette lighter application that you can turn on and hold up at concerts. hahaha! geeky!


The Once every blue moon:

Scramble ( Free): Another word game that is fun to play...

BClassicLite ( free): I should probably go ahead and buy the full version of this game, I use to play it all the time until I pretty much mastered it and now I'm in need of more levels to play it more. ;-)

Hangman ( Free): There are lots of Hangmans out there...but this one is especially great because it has a version where you can play with two people, one person gets to make up the word the other gets to play...Brett and I played it all the time when waiting for tables at restaurants and waiting in lines and doctors offices. Brett always won.

Snoozle ( free): Another pop the bubbles game that I've found hard to play because it can often not be super accurate with your touch-aim, therefore making it frustrating.


The Waste of Space Ones

Facebook ( free): It is constantly crashing and I would just rather bookmark facebook on my safari and get to it that way...


~~~

I have a lot more applications that I don't use super often but I'm sure others might find use for them..
.the Light Saber ( always good when I'm baby sitting to amuse little boys...and big boys),
the Recipe.com application, I find that I usually do my recipe research before I head to the grocery store, but for emergencies this one is handy to have....
Restaurant Nutrition (free): good for the counting calorie girl, so obviously NOT for me....
There are a lot of Lonely Planet applications for traveling...which are great...IF you're traveling...sadly that's not me these days ;-)

Tradition.

So, this Easter I was struck by how transitory Brett and my living arrangements are, at least for the near future of Army living ....and that one thing that really suffers as we live this army lifestyle are Holiday traditions. Depending on the year we could be any number of places for all those important holidays ( namely Christmas and Easter...) and I find it really important to have some sort of tradition to keep my mind focused where its suppose to be ( heavenward, but also something that will bring the Joy and Delight that I remember as a child...enter:

Hot Cross Buns. These little bits of baked goodness were something that I was not introduced to until I moved to New Zealand, since they are a primarily European tradition ( correct me if I'm wrong), they've fadded away as a Good Friday food from most American families...however, they still have their place in New Zealand I remember fondly being a part of making them one Good Friday in the Royal Tce. flat as we lounged around as poor university students trying to get by on Easter without our families....and when I came across a recipe for a dried cherry ( as opposed to the annoying raisin version. ew.) version in my recent Martha Stewart Living ( which I scored a free subscription to a few months back from one of the Mommy Blogs I read...sweet.) I decided to give it a go...and...they were a success...now I have all sorts of romantic notions about making them every year and one day telling my children the significance of the cross of icing on the top....*sigh* I'm SO sure it'll be JUST like that in real life ;-)





Dried Cherrie Hot Cross Buns
1 cup plus 3 tablespoons and 2 teaspoons whole milk
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 ounce (4 1/2 teaspoons) active dry yeast
6 ounces (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled, plus more for bowl and baking sheet
Salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
4 large eggs, lightly beaten
51/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for surface
4 ounces (3/4 cup) dried cherries, coarsely chopped
4 ounces (3/4 cup) golden raisins, coarsely chopped
1 large egg white
1 tablespoon water
2 cups confectioners' sugar, sifted
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Directions

-Heat 1 cup milk in a small saucepan over medium heat until it registers 110 degrees on a candy thermometer.

OR do what I did, not have milk and so run down to starbucks...order a 8oz whole milk and ask for it to be around 120 degrees so that it'll be the right temp when you get home...hahaha!

-Pour milk into a mixer bowl, and fit mixer with a dough hook. With mixer on low speed, add granulated sugar, yeast, butter, 1 1/2 teaspoons salt, the nutmeg, cinnamon, and eggs. Add flour, 1 cup at a time, and knead until mixture comes together in a soft, sticky dough. Continue kneading, scraping down hook as needed, until dough is smooth, about 4 minutes.

-Add cherries and raisins, and knead to incorporate. Turn dough onto a lightly floured surface, and knead to distribute dried fruit. Coat a large bowl with butter. Shape dough into a ball, and place in prepared bowl. Cover with a piece of plastic, and let rise until doubled in size, about 1 hour.

-Generously butter a rimmed baking sheet. Turn dough onto a surface, knead briefly, then divide into 3 pieces. Working with 1 piece at a time, divide each third into 10 pieces, and shape each into a tight ball. (Keep dough covered with plastic.) Place on prepared sheet, spacing 1/2 inch apart. Repeat with remaining dough. Cover with plastic, and let rise in a warm spot until buns have doubled in size and are touching, about 1 hour.

-Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Whisk together egg white and water in a small bowl. Brush tops of buns with egg-white wash. Bake, rotating sheet halfway through, until golden brown, 20 to 22 minutes. Let cool on sheet on wire rack for 30 minutes.
Whisk together remaining 3 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons milk, confectioners' sugar, vanilla, and a pinch of salt. Spoon icing into a pastry bag fitted with a plain 1/4-inch round tip, and pipe icing on buns in the shape of a cross. (Alternatively, spoon glaze on buns.) Serve immediately.


*These buns are best eaten the day they are made; if you make them the day before, don't pipe the icing across on the tops. Instead, warm the buns the next day in a 300-degree oven, or if you're lazy like me stick them in the microwave for 15 seconds and then pip them with your icing...

English Breakfast Tea

*sigh* I have a certain friend who loves black tea, and she drinks it with steamed milk and an equal. I know this because I'm a good friend...but today, since I gave up espresso drinks, I figured I'd follow suit and buy myself a cheap ( $1.50) cup of tea to justify my using the internet at this particular location...and let me just go ahead and say it is NOT THE SAME.
I'm missing my double tall soy latte like crazy right now....

Anyway, kids, lots has happened in the past few days...there was the Shrinky Dink party on Saturday night-which was a roaring success ( I PROMISE I'll post pictures soon!). So much so that the boys threw their own Shrinky Dink party near by and crashed our party with a very large Easter Bunny Costume in tow....not quite what I expected, but I always suspected that hardened army soldiers secretly wanted to do craft nights and now my suspicions are true.

On Sunday I celebrated Easter in low key fashion with church and then Pad Thai with Amy and Luke followed by a rainy afternoon of reading and napping and then off to Bible Study where we finished off 2 Peter and I tased to of the guys with my pink taser. ( tased is a word, Amy B. I promise! hehehe!). They begged and pleaded and finally we went outside and two of the guys were tasered ( also a word). Boys. They are weird. Who begs and pleads to be subjected to pain?

I do think it bought me some semblance of popularity or at LEAST notoriety for a few days at least so thats something I guess...

And for those of you who are wondering, yes, I now have two guns AND a pink taser. I refuse to touch the guns ( they are most definitely Brett's and NOT mine!) but Brett is so set upon my "safety" that I backed down and let him buy me the pink taser ( pink, because its for girls...) and now I'm ultra protected. Although, I did learn, after my tasing ( also a word) experience on Sunday, that you really have to HOLD the taser on the person if you want to do significant damage to them...not really something I quite imagined I'd do to an assailant ...but SURE, WHY NOT!?! I suppose it could happen.

In other news, I've recently added a "Twitter" Application to my blog-now you can keep track of me minute by minute ( or hour by hour as the case may be) by following me on Twitter ( which is now updating on my facebook status and here on my blog simultaneously)...so now I'm SUPER STREAMLINE and you can know all the details of my life UP TO DATE and BY THE MINUTE so that you too can stalk me. But, be careful, if you get too close I'll totally taser you.

The Good

So I was awaked today by my dear friend Carmi, who-through the years- no matter what has been going on in our various lives, we have been brought together through lovely prayers over the phone, computer and every so often in person! They always seem to come at just the right moment and today was no exception...

I was thinking though, how strikingly different our lives look at the moment- Her's is busy, ever moving, ever changing...mine is quiet and slow and often very much monotonous, where most of my "work" is done internally...yet, how lovely to feel so strongly that we are both exactly where we are suppose to be! Friends, there is no life that cannot be useful for His good work! No matter how little or insignificant or how shiny and overwhelming your current days are; there is a battle to be faught and won in the livingrooms of America, the streets of Europe, the marketplaces of Asia...will you take it up? Ignoring the excuses and discouragments of the day?


he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men;
A man of sorrows, and aquainted with grief,
And as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised and we esteemed him not.

Surely he was borne of griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.
He as wounded for our transgresions;
He was crushed for our iniquities;
Upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
And with his strips we are healed.

We all like sheep have gone astray, each of us to our own way, but the Lord lay on him the iniquity of us all.
Is. 53:2-6

A Good Friday to us all! For by His strips we are healed!!! May our lives be worthy of such sacrifice.

slooooooow

Honestly peoples. This month is a slow one. I'm desparate to fill up my time, so much so that I quite literally am putting off cleaning my house until tomorrow, not because I don't want to do it, but because I've already done "something" today...and I've got Nothing to do tomorrow and so cleaning house will be my "accomplishment"

I realize that I'm annoying the most of you who find your lives TOO busy...and I also know that one day I will look back on this particular season of life and smile and wish I could go back and experience such "problems" again...but for now I'll just try hard to enjoy it and make it as productive as possible. I've been praying hard that I wouldn't let it just slip away...

Currently reading this month's Vanity Fair...although I was annoyed it had a half nakky model on the front. ugg! What's WRONG with the world!?!

I'm also just started the book "The Man Who Made Lists: Love, Death, Madness and the Creation of Roget's Thesaurus" by Joshua Kendall. , the word geek in me is pretty much in heaven...hehehe! So fascinating and I've already come across several great quotes and I'm not even into chapter two!

armor

So, I had to get a new phone today...and I gotta say that as sad as that moment was when I handed them money for something that I had literally one day ago....I am also optimistic. Why? Because, I'm also ordering this not-so-attractive case for my phone....but you guys should go check out the promotional video that gave me my optimism:

This video here.


Ok, so yes...if you didn't click on the link, let me just go ahead and tell you that they DRIVE an SUV over the top of the ipod in this case that I just got for my phone...and yes, the ipod is unscathed.

This is the case for Abigail.

This is why Abigail will not need to buy anymore phones.


And yes...I was serious. I have given up coffee as punishment.

Punishment.

Today was beautiful, I went to church which was great and I went to a fascinating lecture on Art Print work and bookmaking and I talked to my parents on the phone...and that's when things went down hill.

So, I'm talking on my phone using my headset so that I'm being all "legal" and "handsfree" while driving and so once I got home I was still talking and I turned to get out of my car and just FORGOT about my phone in my lap and it just slid out of the car onto the pavement and just breaking the "protective" case on it and then cracking the front of my phone pretty badly....
its still usable if held very very delicately, but sadly it will have to be replaced.

That would mean that I only had it five months before BREAKING IT.....

MEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH! How old AM I!?! Honestly! I'm such a dropper! And I've felt sick to my stomach ever since. I've decided, however, that I must punish myself. I mean, I'm so sick of this kind of thing happening to me-and surely there is a way to LEARN how to hold onto things and NOT drop them.

Punishment seems like a good idea.

So what's something that I looooove and that will end up equaling the $200 that I've basically crashed on the ground!?!


That's right. Friends. I'm giving up Starbucks. I'm not sure for how long...but I guess as long as I think will equal $200 saved. So probably not very long ;-)
Just Kidding.

But seriously. I'm so angry at myself. And sick. Sick and Angry. I wish I was more of a grown up sometimes....

Waiting on the Weather

According to weather.com it's suppose to be in the 60s on Monday and Tuesday AND they promise me that it might just get to SEVENTY.

Friends, this is important.


I can't tell you how much I crave warmer weather. Being a Texas girl (its in my blood baby!), I feel that as soon as late march hits one should and can expect warm to hot temperatures. I should be able to wear sandals and not have my toes fall off from frost bite, I should be able to go out doors without grabbing a sweater, or dare I say, a JACKET, and I should absolutely get to wear cute sun dresses on Easter and not look weirdly out of place. *sigh*
Sadly, not everywhere is Texas and so I pray that the weather reports are right this ONE TIME.

But, it is at least sunny today and that gets bonus points. Maybe one day I'll live in some really awesome place that has beautiful weather all the time and then my blog will not be reduced to weather reporting....we can only hope.

In other news, several of my readers have reported that they went out and rented Bolt on my recommendation and apparently I was not exaggerating. The rest of you should get on board. This movie, its funny. ;-)

Why kids movies are better

Last night I sat in my bed and laughed OUT LOUD ( I have found that I'm a much quieter person when living alone, I tend to express things internally to myself even if I am feeling a strong emotion- I mean, hey, there's no one to share it with...so why voice it?!) But this movie was worth the out burst!

I picked up the new disney movie Bolt from Redbox on my way home from getting groceries yesterday and it was GREAT!

The hamster. The pigeons. I'm serious people you should go rent this movie if you haven't already seen it.

A peek at the peak

So in the next week I will be "celebrating" the sixth month of Brett's deployment. I imagine that we've been clamoring up a giant mountain for the past six months and FINALLY we've reached the peak...and now, now we'll get to go back DOWN...that's exciting because it would be awesome if life would imitate my analogy and therefore the LAST six months would go faster than the first...wouldn't that be nice?!?!

That reminds me of the inside joke of my tuesday night bible study:

The girls and I have been trudging through a study on Romans. I say "trudge" because its a lot harder than the study they did previously and I think they are all feeling the affects of that. However, last week we had a question in our guide that asked us to look at the 'word picture' that Paul had painted about a particular thought...and for the life of us we could NOT figure out what they wanted as an answer!! I mean, I like to think I'm pretty good at finding things in texts...that's pretty much all I did as an english major was make up something out of nothing and then using a particular text to prove my point...but last week we were all stumped. But it started the inside joke of making up word pictures for everything....and it's "accidently" turned into something really cool. One of the things I feel strongly about is trying to teach the idea of making scripture accessible and for all the girls to feel as though they understand it well enough to go out and share it with others...its been fun coming up with our "word pictures" ( although sometimes they get a little silly) and I think its a cool way for all of us understand the heaviness of the meanings that are written in Romans.


Lately I've been reading a particular verse over and over again...I can't stop thinking about it.

Do not call to mind the former things or ponder things past.
Behold I will do something new, Now it will spring forth;
Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert. Is. 43:18-19

I get a little chill every time I read it...

I very much want to be aware of the new things that the Lord has coming my way....our way....

Just kidding about spring!

I woke up this morning to it snowing.... Apparently the weathers idea of an April fool's joke is to shove Spring in a closet behind all the winter coats and force me to sit in front of my fireplace dreaming of sun and beaches.
*sigh*

Well, I'm off to walmart to pick up a few things including maybe a milk frother... It's time to bring the coffee home. ;-)

The Evil Empire

Its true. I've become a complete Starbucks junky. It happened pretty slowly ( as most drug habits do) that I hardly noticed. For one thing there is a Starbucks a walking distance from my house, for another thing they have a drive-thru ( nice for those moments when you're running late for church and you need a caffeine hit), and then on top of that I started meeting all my girls there for our "dates"...every time I'd say, "where do you wanna meet?" they'd always give me that location...so what was I gonna do? I also found that when I got lonely I was more than likely going to run into someone I knew there...two people from Bible Study actually work there and then it seems the rest of the Navigator crew seem to congregate there at all hours of the day....sooooo....that's how it happened.

And that's how I ended up adding up how much money I spent at Starbucks this month and I found out that...well.....its pretty bad.


So after some investigation into ways to save money at Starbucks ( including a trip to Costco to see if they still sold gift cards for reduced prices-sadly, they don't, its only a holiday deal)....today I ended up getting a gift card. For one thing its a way to easily keep track of how much money I'm spending. And for another thing with the gift card I can use their internet access ( which is important since this weekends developments of no wi-fi at the house) AND I get free soy. That says me 40 cents a drink!!! That's a LOT!


So that's the new plan. And I'm trying to not think about how the old version of me is totally judging this new version of me. *sigh*

Then I got back...

Well, I went to Vancouver ( canada) and now I'm back! It was a short visit, only one night, but I felt like I'd been gone AGES when I finally pulled in my driveway last night ( the traffic coming back into Washington was nasty...but I guess I should have thought of that since it WAS a Friday night)....and apparently I was gone long enough for the free internet I've been using for the past few months to DISAPPEAR. I'm starting to feel the withdrawals already....eeee! Most of the things that I had on my to-do list today had to do with the internet and out of desperation I had to head to Panera Bread ( I'm having flashbacks of Kansas as we speak)....

Anyway for time management purposes look for details of my time in Vancouver on Tabitha's Blog....and I will just add that I feel as though we made great use of our time and did everything on a pretty low budget! Yay! Go us! ( and our totally awesome guidebook that I got at the library before I left!)....and I will hopefully share pictures in days to come, sadly I forgot my camera connector so I cannot upload pictures right now......let's all pray that I find new free internet in my apartment soon....

I'm now off to Wal-Mart for supplies in making my costume for a ministry party tonight....they sure didn't give me a long time to come up with anything!

All aboot canada

So I'm headed up and over the boarder tomorrow...I'm picking up Bethany in Seattle and then we're hitting the open road to go see Tabitha in Vancouver. It's gonna be great! my only worries currently are that the work the chiropractor did on the giant knot in my neck have left me with a significant headache...not fun for the driving tomorrow...but HEY! Prayers work, Baby! My sore throat from yesterday was significantly better today so I'm optimistic.

I think I might still try to convince Tabs to come home with me...just for a couple of days....because I'm SO excited about seeing her, I really doubt that two days is going to be enough. *sigh* Oh well, I'll be happy with what I get.

I've packed my bag of "car snacks" for the road and I'm planning on getting a large coffee...so I think this is going to be a good roadtrip! :-)

the miracle of sleep.

I'm hoping that tonight a miracle will take place and the sore throat I've been fostering all day will magically disappear. It pretty much has to since Bethany and I are off to visit Tabitha on Thursday and I pretty much MUST be in top form for that trip since its just an overnighter and I want to pack as much fun and time with Tabs in as I possibly can and being sick is not part of that mathematical equation.

Speaking of mathematical equations I actually used Algebraic proofs as part of an illustration on Romans chapter 4 at Bible Study tonight. Ummm....yeah....it just popped it my head and it turned out to be a good example for what I was talking about, but I was sorta surprised that my mind would retain that information from nine years ago just like that...

So, today I dropped the sister off at the airport and prayed all the way home that she'd make it on her flight ok and that all would be well...traveling makes me nervous, even when I'm not the one traveling. ( she is currently home safe and sound).

I then went about my to-do list of all the things I've neglected while Anna and I were partying down like it was 2005 ( the year when we partied down the most, just in case you were wondering..). First, I got my oil changed at the Jiffy Lube that is conveniently located near my house...and boy was it Jiffy! It was actually pretty funny, I've never seen so many employees at a oil change place before, and they had pretty much zero customers, so when I arrived they surrounded my car as though I was in the Daytona 500 and they had my car oil-changed, vacuumed, aired up, fluid checked and glass cleaned in under 10 minutes. I didn't even have time to check my emails on my phone! It was a little more expensive then the place I went to in Lakewood ( near my old apartment), but I had a coupon and plus if time is money, then that was a STEAL!

In other news, I had an impromptu coffee date with Tina and did Bible Study, as well as visited the Christian bookstore to pick up stickers for my bible study girls ( they are now proud owners of sticker charts and stickers for their memory verses...I believe that one is NEVER too old for a sticker chart)....all in all it was a productive day, but by the time it came to Bible Study time I was pretty worn out! This sore throat is not making me a happy camper!

This post as officially run out of steam...sleepy time is now.

I Promise...

I know, I know...I haven't blogged in days! But that's because a LOT has been happening and I've had my sister here, which basically means all those things that I'd normally write out into a well thought-out blog post have instead been spoken in long run on sentences to my sister. Lovely. Too bad none of you where there to see it all go down, because if my sister and I do one thing well, it is talk and laugh and talk some more ( with hand motions and facial expression to punctuate.)

We've had a grand old time, and I'm sad that she's leaving in the morning. *sigh* I'm trying not to get sad about it, because really its been such a lovely blessing that it would be wrong to look this gift horse in the mouth! Nope, instead I will just say this...

We ate indian food and watched free Redbox movies apparently EVERYONE is getting into free movie mondays and wednesdays! I know Katie, sure is! ha! )...I got us out of a ten dollar scam job at a Tacoma parking lot by tailgating a guy leaving ( we had entered the parking lot by accident only moments before and had found ourselves TRAPPED by the high prices!) we ate dinner at a fancy restaurant where Anna used her deathray eyes of doom on the waiter thus getting us a free dessert ( he neglected us all night! BAD! Free dessert? GOOD!) ...We had a very successful shopping trip that included a trip to the movie theatre to see Duplicity ( not as good as the trailers made it out to be...) and a beautiful sunset on the way home....We visited the Burke Museum's Coffee's of the World Exhibit and drank free coffee and laughed at fossils ( because who doesn't?), followed by lunch with Bethany and Liz at a yummy pizza place, Tulla Bella..... We survived a near death experience when something hit my windshield as we drove home, on the freeway, shattering the glass of the windshield so badly that shards of glass landed in both our laps!....we worked out several times, but probably not enough to burn off all the calories that we ate, but then again, it was vacation time and calories don't count on vacations....we went to church and we went to Bible Study and Anna got to meet many of the people that I love here in Washington...the lovely girls that I talk about the most, they now have faces to go with the names.....and we also watched unmentionable amounts of The O.C., we got the car's windshield fixed ( see above) and braved the evils of Army Bureaucracy to get me new parking tags ( for the new windshield)....oh....and of COURSE we drank lots of sub-par coffee ( nothing is as good as Java Jacks in Texas, right? hehe!) and....

we ate cupcakes.


Sisters. They are a glorious gift! What a lovely week!

The Sister

She is one of the few people ( I can count on one hand) that I'd probably never get tired of having around.

A life worth celebrating.

So, last night I had the opportunity to see a legend. Seriously, you may have never heard of Bob Boardman, but ever since I heard him speak at our bible study last year he and his wife, Jean were stuck in my mind and there they have stayed.

Reasons for Sticking:
First of all, I want to grow up and be just like this couple. The thing that struck me as beyond remarkable is that here was a couple who are in their mid80s and here was Bob causally mentioning that he'd been "meaning" to come down and speak to our little bible study ever since it got started, but that he and Jean had been doing nonstop missions work all year and had just had the chance to make it down.... This was all said very apologetically, of course. And here was someone who for all intents and purposes should be "retired"!!! They were doing far more than I can HOPE to do for the Kingdom of God!

The first thing you'll notice about Bob is that he speaks in a horse whisper. This is due to injuries that he received at the Battle of Okinawa in WWII ( he also lost his trigger finger...) and the second thing you'll notice about Bob is how much he loves the Lord and thirdly how much he loves his wife. Pretty good order :-)

Anyway, the first time I heard him speak he talked a little bit about his life story, and while it was well over a year ago and therefore I've probably mixed up my facts.... the thing I can make note of is that while he was injured at Okinawa, Japan, after he joined the Navigators he and his wife went back to Japan as missionaries ( they were actually married in Tokyo). Pretty amazing. Here was couple who have truly given their lives to God's work and have NOT SLOWED DOWN.
Brett and I both went away from that bible study, struck by the desire to live a life such as these....to be so outwardly focused that you hardly notice the years go by....

This past week we found out through Navigator links that Bob had been diagnosed with Stage Four cancer...and that on Monday night he would be giving his final sermon.
This I was NOT going to miss!

After recieving a "death sentence" only two weeks before- hundreds of people gathered to celebrate this mans life-Americans, many of them ex-WWII Marines, Japanese, and Koreans all gathered together, all had obviously been touched by these two lives.... it was really amazing to see such an outpouring in such a short amount of time, so many people traveling from out of town to come be a part of this night.

Bob and his wife Jean both spoke and I took lots of notes-but here are some things I'll share here-just so I won't forget. Hopefully not ever. And may one day I go out in such style!

Bob said that after hearing this news that he had stage four cancer he'd had a lot of time to think, and he thought the most at night-"Your greatest fears come up at night...and my greatest fear is that God's going to heal me!"

He then introduced his wife, saying ever so sweetly that after 56 years of marriage, if he had to do life all over-he'd still choose her. ( awwwwww!)

She shared that their motto through their life together had been:
By God's Grace and For God's Glory
( if there was ever anything worthy of being embroidered on a pillow, if I knew how, THAT would be something worth embroidering!)

And then she shared the verse she was resting on during this difficult time,
"They do not fear bad news;
they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.
They are confident and fearless
and can face their foes triumphantly.

Ps112:7-8

Honestly, that showed so much more than just a few words could express....I think about the idea of loosing Brett, after only having in my life for a few years, and then imagining a life without him if I'd been with him for FIFTY! How much harder it would be to let go. Yet, to have that kind of faith and love for her Lord....She ended her little talk with this heartbreaking remark:

God gave him to me, and now I'm giving him back.

Now, I wish I could some how recreate exactly what Bob shared, he speaks in oneliners so its really hard to paraphrase this man, but above all I was struck by his Love for his Lord, his Hope in the future that He had in Christ and by his Desire that others know this One that He loved so much....

Now, obviously, its not very time efficient to have to be a Christian for 65 years to prove that God is real, just because you're devoted to something that Long.....but I was very much struck by the reality of this man's relationship with his Savior. He said that he'd read the Old Testament over 55 times ( at least from when he started counting!) and he'd read the new testament over 120 times! He said that he reads enough each day to, "Transfer him into another realm, otherwise this world will break you down. But His Word takes you into the kingdom of God, the kingdom where the Lord Jesus is....The word of God has the power of the Holy Spirit which can bring about good relationships, keep us from going on tangents, and having conflicts.....the Word of God brings about repentance, forgiveness and keeps the conscience clear..."
He also shared about how the Word of God brings us to the Presence of Jesus, which brought him to tears, he then recounted a story from his time in the military, of experiencing the presence of God so tangibly that he actually reached out to touch Him, little did he know that these wonderful experiences with Jesus would soon be followed by the "valley of the shadow of death", and that the Lord was truly preparing him for his experience at Okinawa....This brought him to his final thoughts which were of the great delight of getting to finally meet Jesus.
And then in his horse whisper he finished with, " If I could sing, I would sing the song, "I can only Imagine"

An my only thought was that one day, very soon Bob Boardman is going to be able to sing again....


I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

Rain, Rain go away...

My sister's coming to visit on Wednesday. This means I must clean house. ( not really, but its always best to have a "reason" to clean house or it just isn't as motivating). So today was all about being domestic, cleaning, grocery shopping that sort of thing.

So there I am, minding my own business in the Commissary when I run into a guy from the Navigators...or rather he runs into me. Literally. With his cart. So after that little bit of awkwardness. I continued on with my shopping to find a christmas present equivalent of shopping joy...my favorite, favorite thing to eat is Morning Star Vegetarian products...they have the yummiest "Pizza Vegetarian Burger Patties" and they have the GREATEST spinach artichoke poppers that are low fat and low calorie and pretty much small morsels of heaven ( its about all I eat.).....annnnyway, they are NEVER EVER on sale but today low and behold there were $.75 off coupons!!! WHOAAAAA! So I went on a total binge and got several boxes of all my favorites to stock my freezer!

So off I head to the check out line, a place where I pride myself on being fast and efficient ( the self checking line, that is...) So there I am waiting in line and I turn around and there is a girl who came to Bible Study a few times and then graciously bowed out to join a church group instead ( no biggie, just glad she got plugged in somewhere), so we do the usual 'how are yous" and then I proceed akwardly to start checking out my groceries...and that's when things took a baaaad turn.

First off ALL of my veggies refused to ring up and with each one the machine would bark out, "need assistance to ring up this item!" finally I tracked down one ( approx 3min.) of the teeny tiny asian ladies that seem to be the only commissary workers and she came over to help me-but then informed me she'd have to do a price check and ran off with my mushrooms in toe...I then proceeded to wait, trying to avoid eye contact with the girl behind me in line ( approx 5 minutes)....she finally returned with my mushrooms and then began the AGONIZING process of trying to scan my NINE coupons -each of them got rejected at least twice before going through...by now I could not pretend the girl behind me didn't exist and I proceeded to apologize as each of my coupons wouldn't scan....I finally walked away ( 15 minutes after getting there) with a savings of $6.75....was it worth it? Hardly. I was so embarrassed! That girl is DEFINITELY not coming back to Bible Study after that!!!!

Honestly! You would think going to the grocery store at 1:30 in the afternoon on a monday would mean you wouldn't have to run into people you know...but apparently I was WRONG!

I know, I know...

I'm not entirely sure why I couldn't produce a blog post this weekend, afterall I did have a pretty eventful couple of days including an idiot encounter at the bakery ( yup! my cake for Amy's baby shower said the following when I got it, "Welcom Baby B" and that's WITH the quotation marks as...who knows why there were quotation marks...*sigh* ) But other than that moment of Drama to start my day the shower was totally delightful. For one thing I had wonderful friends to help me set up, clean up and make conversation with people who weren't feeling included....honestly, I hardly felt like I was hosting the shower at all! The other delightful thing about the shower was my long awaited, long planned onesie decorating. Seriously, it was SUCH fun to see what people decorated their onesie with, the breakout artists and the random pictures... all around good fun! And of course, baby showers are ALWAYS fun because they have the inevitable opening of teeny tiny gifts that cannot HELP but be ADORABLE.

And then there were days...

Its been a fast week, full of some good things:

So, in no particular order:

This week it snowed, rained, and it was sunny. I experienced all four seasons in a five day period. This isn't particularly "good" but it was interesting! And I didn't get bored!

This week I had fruitful talks with some of the girls in the Nav ministry. How I love these girls! I am often struck by my own shortcomings in trying to show them more about Christ...but this week I was reminded that most of the time they end up showing ME more about Christ! Excellent!

This week worked out more than I've gotten to in a while. Less headaches, more energy! That's how it seems to work!

This week I forced myself to go to the PWOC bible study on Fort Lewis (its so darn early!). It was there that I had some great discussion with women about the hardships that deployment can bring on marriage-In many ways I am grateful that I am experiencing some of those hardships now because I see the great need to help others who might not know just how Wonderful it is to have trust in God for all things....I'm working through these problems myself, but its encouraging to know they will be useful to someone else in the future.

This week I planned a trip to Canada in a few weeks now that Tabithaofficially lives there.

This week I got the surprise new that my sister is coming to visit NEXT WEEK!!! This is almost too much excitement to bare.

This week I planned a trip to Texas in May. This makes me so happy because I'll get to be there for Mother's Day, my mom's birthday, a friends wedding, and a day shy of my mother-in-laws birthday!! So much celebrating that I get to be a part of!!! YAY!

This week I got to say goodbye to a good friend who's headed off to Iraq, by eating Indian food and watching a chick-flick*. Danielle was one of the very first people I met when I moved to Washington waaaay back when, and I'm sad to see her go, but I know God will do good things with her over "there".

This week I got a present in the mail:



Its actually made out of brass but it looks like thread...and its AWESOME! The perfect "reminded" of my sweet husband who puts up with me even when I complained about buying guns. ;-)

* I totally enjoyed the newest chick flick Confessions of a Shopaholic, it was girlie and cute and had plenty of eye-candy in the form of shoes and bags galore, and it was pretty much without the usual sexual horribleness that I hate about movies these days! two thumbs up!

Now I'm off to a "surprise" birthday party ( the surprise was ruined by facebook...sad, but true) and I'm getting all the last minute prep work done for the totally wonderful-amazing-perfectly-executed Baby shower that I'm throwing tomorrow ( cross your fingers!) !

Implied.

I know that I don't have to tell you this, but I miss Brett. Kinda a lot. Kinda all the time.

just one hour.

I don't know if I comment on this every year (I'm too lazy to look at my archives) but I'm pretty sure time-changes are made to torture a person.

One hour makes ALLLL the difference in my little world! But, this week has been so nice and busy already that I haven't had too much time to complain to myself. hehe

I've had to make lists this week to make sure I get everything done, but there is one thing I've noticed- I thrive on this kind of thing. I SO delight in having a busy enough schedule that I need lists and calendars. I so wish that I did not delight in it so much because it means that when I'm NOT busy Bad Things Happen...but instead of dwelling on that lets dwell on the fact that I love people and parties and planning ( oh, and I also love alliteration) and that this week has plenty of both! Excellent.

Oh and I'm surrounded by Babies. Everyone is having Babies. Babies Babies Babies. *sigh*

The One Thing

Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. It is, in fact, the one thing that still stands when all else has fallen.

I Cor 13:7-8 ( Philips Bible)

Seriously. That Happened.

Things that happened today:
Today I bought a gun
Today I talked with a nasty old man who had just finished discussing the finer points of getting a divorce with a gang member. I had to smile and play nice because I wanted said nasty old man to give me a copy of his gun sellers license.

True story:

Ok, so first off...BRETT is the one who actually bought the gun, but I'm a super-duper submissive wife who does nice things without complaining and will even go to great lengths like getting lost in Lakewood trying to find the gun store and then having to put up with a couple of jerks who sell guns so that I could then mail tons-o-money to the guy that Brett bought the gun from so that it can be delivered....I will do all of that because of love. And because I'm sure I'll get something good out of it eventually ;-)
I also went to that art gallery opening that I was telling you about earlier this week, but I ended up going all by myself, which I did NOT want to do because I just KNEW this gallery was going to be on the WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS...but I sucked it up because that's what loving on people is all about, right?! So I went to the wrong side of town ( almost getting lost, but not) and then I remembered that my gun-happy husband would be LESS THAN thrilled if I walked the two blocks to the gallery in the pitch darkness of the Tacoma ghetto night all on my lonesome-so I called Amy and she talked to me for two minutes while I walked to the gallery...that way, if you know, I got shot or something Amy would be the first to know. And she could then pass on my last words to Brett.

Incidently my last words would be something along the lines of: GUNS KILL PEOPLE! AND NOW WE OWN SOME TOO!!! IRONY!

Actually, I'm still working on the wording of my last words so luckily I missed death in Tacoma tonight so I'll have more time to perfect them...

Oh, and the art gallery was worth it. Apparently in the three years this girl has been inviting people to go to her galleries I'm the FIRST to show up!! WHAT?!? Seriously?! Art is so cool!!! And now I'm happy to say I have yet another talented friend. ;-)

Brought to you by my favorite things:

I've been listening to this song on repeat. Mat Kearney's Breathe In Breathe Out


I've been craving the Strawberry Nirvana smoothie from Jamba Juice pretty much constantly. My saving grace is that I have to drive out of the way to get one....so I've been living it up Recession style and making them at home-easier on the pocket book and probably better for me: Frozen Mixed Berries, half a banana, vanilla soy milk and low fat vanilla yogurt and ice in your blinder and you're rolling in yummy!

I watched Secret LIfe of Bees last night and totally cried. A good little growing up movie that also brought me back to the thankful conclusion that as many troubles as we have in this country we have come Far since the Civil Rights movement. Thank goodness...so many have suffered for what we live today!


I've been reading the archives of this website for a while now ( I think I'm somewhere in 2005 right now)...she's one of those "famous bloggers" who actually makes a living off her blog ( JEALOUS!)....but I am struck by her honesty about being a mother and her struggles with depression. Warning though, she uses profanity like it was going out of style.

other than this...

At Bible Study last night I admitted to the girls that my toes had been tingling for several days now and that I thought it was really weird. Lucky for me I have two nurses and a nursing student in my small group and they all felt like it just might be possible that my headaches and tingling toes are connected, in say, a pinched nerve in my back or something...

So those of you who have recommended the chiropractor to me in the past, rejoice. Because I'm going! Tomorrow!

I'll let you know what happens...but I can't tell you how relieved I'd be if my weird medical problems could finally be solved! Of course, I have to actually pay to go to the chiropractor...which is a low blow to my usually free medical mind-but after almost a month of solid headaches I'd be willing to shell out some serious dough if they promise to make me better. :-(

In other news, here is what's going on with me OTHER than medical drama:

Today I went to PWOC ( for those of you who don't remember: Protestant Women of the Chapel...something that I was a part of in Kansas...) here at Fort Lewis. While it might have just looked like I was innocently going to chapel in actuality I was 'giving up' on ever finding a job and therefore I'm now getting involved in day time activities. *sigh*

On Thursday: Meeting up with a friend for coffee. Going to the Chiropractor. Hopefully finding a cure. Basically the usual.

On Friday I'm going an art opening at a local art gallery after meeting a new friend at Bible Study and finding out that she's an artist! Should be fun, and I'm hoping to slip some Indian food into the mix if I can ;-)

On Saturday I'm throwing a low key girls night at my house for the Navigator Girls...at least I'm hoping it'll be low key! I really just want there to be more social times when all the girls can hang out and get to know each other better....I think it'll ultimately make our small group times better-you know, more sharing, more openness...you know the drill ;-)

....

I tell you all this because I'm just so DARN excited to have things on my calendar again....the last few weeks have been rough with a capital R! I never, ever want to repeat that again. Ever.

Luckily next week I've got Amy's baby shower to get ready for! YAY! If I spread it out ( like Joey on Friends would) I'm sure I can make baby shower prep take up the whole week. ;-)

Tonight I'm watching movies. Australia is on the agenda as well as Secret Life of Bees....annnnnnd....I got them both for FREEEEE! Sweet, right? Well, now for a limited time you can rent movies for free at a Redbox near you if you have the promotion code, go to this website every Monday ( and for the month of March every Wednesday too!) and get the code you'll need! ( thanks to Amy The Savingest Housewife Around for this tip).

Uplifting and Kid safe.

That is the catch phrase of the Christian radio station here in Washington. This station is “not God’s best” as my friend Amy would so eloquently put it. It is possible that it is kid safe, but it is NOT “uplifting”. It is the essence of watered down christianity and everything that I hate about "religiosity"....
Which leaves me with the one truly awesome thing about radio in Washington which is The Mountain. This radio station is everything a radio station should be. They are U2 fans, the dejays seem to legitimately love music and actually KNOW about music-In fact, most of the time I feel like they are not reading off of wikipedia when they talk about bands and music trivia. This radio station is something that I will miss ( and already have missed when I was in Kansas-aka. Land of country music) when I leave WA again….
But, anyway, back to the Christian music. Now, I’m not one of those people that believes that to be a Christian you should listen to Christian music…or even that other music is “bad for you”….I’m also not one of those “other people” who hate contemporary Christian music…I’m somewhere soundly in the middle. And sometimes on particularly bad days when I'm missing Brett or having a headache ( so basically most days)....I like something that will make me think of "Holier Things".
SO! Since I can’t listen to the Christian radio station ( because listening to that dribble will make one HAVE roadrage if you didn’t already) I have discovered something TRULY glorious.

So....my phone allows me to listen to Pandora ( the greatest thing to hit the internet since google) on my phone, and my car allows me to plug my phone into my radio speakers-which BASICALLY means that I get FREE satellite radio. No commercials, the ability to skip songs and a HUMNUNGO range of music to listen to....
I love it.

the aftermath of a particular breakdown.

Last week was NOT awesome.

Basically you combine a lot of pain in the head with inactivity and you've got the equation to a pretty downtrodden person.

Anyway, over the weekend I realized a few things-first of all, I cannot not MAKE my weeks busy. Sometimes they just aren't going to be stellar in that department, there will not be enough people to hang out with me, there will not be enough errands to run, there will not be anything fun to look forward to...and it'll make me feel sad and a tad lost...and I'll basically be left with my own thoughts and fears to keep me company. Not. Pretty.

But, I've got to be ok with that. I've got to Trust and have Faith and Seek even on those kind of days. And believe me its a LOT harder to do then it looks! Basically, I'm talking about being an anti-farweather-friend of Jesus. Pretty much go in the opposite direction as Peter on the night he betrayed Him. This is also hard to do, because if you think about it, that's what human nature is all about! We're all busily looking for distractions and answers that AREN'T Christ...and none of them are working. So, instead we must choose the hard road-the road that goes harder and looks deeper and believes in the Love even when its not super obvious and on the surface promising you a Perfect Life. Instead, its offering you a tougher, bumpier and full of pot-holes road-but a road that leads the Cross. So basically, its a much better road.

SooOoooOOOO...new week, new month. This coming week is looking almost as dreary as last week ( in the "busy-ness" department), and yes...P.S. All my job applications were pretty much denied. All of them. Which leaves me most certainly jobless for the near to distant future. So somewhere between now and then I need to become OK with not being a busy busy bee.
So the new week and the new month are promising to be all about seeking after the Harder, Bumpier Roads and not being satisfied with watching Alias Season 5 ( for lack of a better analogy-even though Season Five is pretty great.)....

My dearest Blog, I'm continually shocked with how very slow I am to learn some lessons and sometimes I worry that I'll never learn and that I'm destine to be this Silly and this Wrong for the rest of my days...luckily I've been promised:

being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Phil 1: 6

Another Great Moment.

So, I was sitting here in the coffee shop ( this is one of the ones I applied at) and I heard the Boss Man and his employee talking about the new girl he had hired. How she was so great and had this great dynamic smile. Boo. Someone else has a better smile than me.

That's what it boils down to.

My darndest.

I woke and cried.

I know, right? How pitiful can you get?!?! But, I think I'm allowed at least one ( ok, two) such days in a week! For one thing I woke up with a headache. Which, you know, isn't suppose to happen because of the doctors magical drugs!!! I also woke up with the knowledge that I had NOTHING to do today. nothing.

My calendar was completely empty, which is something that has not happened ( except when I voluntarily wanted it to) since I moved back to Washington...and yet this week its happened SEVERAL times. This is beyond depressing and made me want a job more than anything, and it made me feel sorry for myself too. Everyone else has somebody. My somebody is in Afghanistan.

Yeah, yeah, wah wah waaaaah!

I just feel like I've been slapped upside the head a couple of times, though. I mean, if I look closely at what I have been doing it. I could definitely have put more time and effort into bible studies....and I'm sure I could have written some more letters...and maybe I could have volunteered somewhere?! I mean, I'm pretty sure this is all my fault. Its just sometimes you just wish life was easier. That you didn't have to Work So Hard to make things happen. Work So Hard to be happy.

So, today, since I already knew I was in a "bad way" I decided to NOT watch Alias. ( which is what I really wanted to do)...instead, I went to wal-mart and researched cakes for Amy's Babyshower, and I read The Shack and I took a nap, and now I'm sitting in Forza's coffee shop watching customers trickle in every once in a while.
And now I'm going to prepare my bible study for Sunday night.

So far today...

Today:

I went with Amy to look at her baby ( via Ultra sound..obviously. What did you think?!?)
And while there is no way to tell, at this point, if he's going to be a normal human baby boy or a mighty morphin power ranger....I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that all's well inside of Amy's tummy. And come April I'm going to have a new baby to hold and spoil. Excellent. It also sorta kinda made me want to have a baby. But if you repeat that, I will deny it tomorrow.

Today I also ate chinese food that may or may not be playing tricks on my stomach right now. ugg.

Today I got my nails painted dark blue in preparation for the Rock Star party I'm going to on Saturday night....I'm pretty sure dark blue is a patented color of rockstar nails.

Today I felt less tired than yesterday, but still very tired. Meaning that while taking HALF the "prevention of migraines" medicine was better than the WHOLE ( which left me feeling drugged for the entirety of yesterday)...I'd say we're still not at 100%.

Today I paid off my credit card bill. Which is terribly satisfying because I've starting putting EVERYTHING that I buy in a month on the credit card, which gives me that delightful satisfaction of knowing exactly how much money I've spent in a given month. This month...less than last month. Even though this month included a plane ticket to New York. Good job, Abigail! ;-)

Alias: a relationship story

So, for the past two months I've been watching Alias. I lie. For the past month I've been watching Alias. I mean, I wish I could say its been two months because then the fact that I'm on season FOUR ( and towards the end of it, I might add) wouldn't seem so terribly wrong and then all of you would actually believe that I do things during the day and, infact, don't sit around watching TV. ( I really do usually only watch Alias in bed before I go to sleep.....it just takes a long time to go to sleep. ;-)

Alias is one of those shows that I watched in high school. Or the end of high school. And then I moved to New Zealand and my mom would actually TAPE the shows for me and send them to me in the mail on VHS tapes. *pause to let that sink in*
At the time this did not seem particularly lame, but now looking back I cannot IMAGINE how sad I must have been that I loved TV shows SO MUCH that I couldn't bare to wait from them to come out on DVD....OooOoOooh!! That's right! This was before TV shows came out on DVD!!!! Whew! I'm not as lame as I thought ( but still pretty lame, lets not lie...) I'm just really OLD! Anyway, back to the story....so my mom would send me Alias on VHS and I pretty much watched all of season two that way....waiting patiently for my mom to send me recordings of prime time television- which I would then take my VHS tape up to my friend Lydia's flat and I'd watch my shows, fastforwarding the commercials ( but sometimes...when I was really homesick for the US, I'd watch the commercials just to remind me of what Coke looked like in the states. *sigh*) Annnyway, then my mom sent me the final tape, the tape that had the FINALE of season two on it...and I was SO excited!!!! I remember how ran up the hill to the flat ( probably huffing and puffing...because how can we forget the 30 pounds I gained those first years in college?!?! MAN!!! Who can resist New Zealand food, right?!?)
SO! I finally get to the flat and I'm watching Alias...and BOY! Its SOO good, and I'm on the edge of my seat! And the big cliff hanger is coming...and....and.....the tape cuts off!!! I then screamed so loud that Sunshine heard me downstairs and had to come up and check to make sure I was alive.

It was at this point that I lost interest in Alias. Because, lets be honest...once the sting of the loss of the last two minutes of Season two wore off, I was able to LET GO...and move forward with my life.....and it wasn't until recently that I even thought about Sydney and Vaughn or Marshall ( the BEST character. by far) at all!

But, there is nothing like having ones husband leave for 12 months to leave a giant hole in your schedule and thus force you to return to old friends....so I picked up this old dusty relationship with the help of my friend Bethany and her 5 seasons on DVD. ( she's so young, she probably doesn't remember a life without TV shows on DVD......she has NO IDEA how HARD it was back in the olden days!)....And so I began at the beginning and I relived the joys of season one when Sydney is all angsty and whiny about having to LIE to her friends and co-workers about her true identity ( geez, girl! get over it!) and yet season one is really awesome because there are lots more "dress up sequences" which, to be honest, make the show great....who really CARES about some made-up organization that needs to be taken down when you've got cute outfits and awesome wigs to look at and critic?!? Of course, by now I'm hooked...and I remembered why I loved Alias in the first place and so I was off and running into season two-which was highly anticipated because that's the season of Sydney+Vaughn= most inprobable makeout scene winners of the world, happens...
Seriously. Its worth the whole season. Its seriously unbelievably funny.

But, then I moved on to season three...but maybe I moved on too quickly? And I was starting to be annoyed by all the spying and all the sydney whining and all the girl fights. BUT, as luck would have it, I took a trip to NY for the weekend, giving Alias and I much needed "space" to work out our differences and I came back with a more open mind and the commitment to overlook the shortfalls and make season three work. And, my hardwork paid off...with the death of the MOST ANNOYING Character EVER.

Which brings us to Season four. Which, so far, is my favorite. Its pretty much a repeat of season one..( and if you've seen season four you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about...its almost laughable how similar it is!!!) exept, unlike season 1, the show has worked out its kinks and figured out what works. ( aka. MORE MARSHALL...the best character ever.) Soooooo, friends and family....when you are all tucked up in your warm beds and you think about me...and you wonder what I'm doing to pass the cold, lonely nights without my husband....wonder no longer.
Or at least for the next 4-7 days ( which is how long I'm guessing it will take me to finish season four and complete season five)....after which I suppose all have to find a new quasi-relationship show to watch.

Another shot at life.

So, yesterday morning I woke up with another full blown migraine that actually made me sick to my stomach...and hopeless. Having a migraine for ONE day is bad...but spreading headaches out over a two week period will make a person go insane. So off I went to the doctor....
Which, I gotta say, is always a toss up. You really never know what you're gonna get....buuut, when you're desperate, you're desperate, ya know? So finally after sitting, waiting, pleading I finally saw some nameless PA ( I probably was told his name but I didn't really pay attention) who had long scraggly hair...on the sides. ( zero hair on top) and weird glasses from 1982. Yet, this nameless PA gave me about 10 minutes of attention where I almost cried because I so wanted relief and then he told me that the reason my headache was continuing for so long was because the medicine I was given last time wasnt working ( you think?) and that it wasn't enough to break the "pain cycle"...therefore the ongoing migraines. Made sense.
Thus a shot in the rear end. Nothing like having to pull your pants down half way to make a person feel better...but honestly, I would have done ANYTHING at that point!

The other highlight of the day was receiving another medication that is usually used for depression but, when given in smaller doses at bedtime can actually PREVENT migraines from happening! GLORY BE! The PA reminded me, like three times, that I wasn't actually "crazy" or anything.....but I honestly could care less....I mean, as far as I was concerned I was depressed...and me not getting migraines will make me the OPPOSITE of depressed!

So now it is time for us to all cross our fingers and hope that have no more headaches to report this week...or next...or ever ( wouldn't that be GRAND?!)

Lucky thirteen...

I slept for thirteen hours last night. I did this on purpose because I was sick and tired of this horrible headache that I've had off and on for two weeks. I decided sleep would surely cure said headache.

I suppose it did. If by cure you mean not really that bad today. *sigh* I really should go through the motions of getting a doctors appointment. But I know they won't tell me anything of value...depressing.

In other news, today I ate terrible Thai food ( as a rule any restaurant that says they serve Chinese food and Thai food, probably serve bad versions of both...), but I just HAD to try it since its literally a block away from my house and wouldn't it have been AWESOME if I'd had good thai food that close to home?!? Sadly, one can only dream....
Also, the fortune cookie that came with my Thai food ( that should have been my warning)...didnt have a fortune in it. That's right. It was an empty cookie.
Not sure if that's a good sign or not.

I did, however, have SOME luck today...thanks to my thrifty friend who continually makes me feel like a bad house wife because I buy my yogurt at the full price ( $.50...baaaaad Abigail, BAD!) who told me about the RedBox movie deal that allowed me to rent a movie for FREE on mondays! Oh yes, she might make me feel guilty about some things...but I'll forgive her because its not really her fault, and I got to watch this semi-good move, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People for free! YAY!

I also ate icecream and chocolate cookies for dinner. I did this because I was celebrating the fact that my high cholesterol, really IS hereditary ( finally another family member goes to the doctor! Its about time! I can't be the ONLY one who's sickly! hehehe)....and not my fault at all. Nothing like passing the blame and eating dessert for dinner!

Excuse me while I'm mushy.

"You're ruining me
with secrets and gestures and looks
With sonnets and second-hand books
Playing the chords in me
nobody knew how to play...
Your eyes are full of the future of us." ( not my words, but Brooke Fraser)

I miss Him.

Magnetic

Today I endured the serious road-rage from some dude in a shiny SUV to get to Hello Cupcake so Cindy and I could indulge in a sugar high. *sigh* Quite the tradeoff...but geez, people can be rude!

In other news, I'm suppose to be cleaning my house, but instead I'm watching Alias season 3. Hard. to. stop.


This week just flew by...probably since Monday and Tuesday went by in a fog of the past weekend wrap up. But, it was ultimately a productive week! I have this weird feeling of trepidation about staying busy...its like every week goes by and I'm always surprisingly busy, but at the end of each week I have a minor freak out along the lines of, "what if next week isnt busy?! How will I justify my existence then?!!"

Buuuut, I'm trying to learn how to be more patient and trust. One day I'll figure out that my life isn't mine.


I just finished up making the invites for Amy's baby shower. I'm semi-satisfied with them....I think my favorite part is that they're magnets. I love invites that are also magnets...I always put invites on the fridge anyway, so this way you put out the middleman magnet. ;-)

What its all about ( apparently).

So, I'm once again back in the Northwest...still without a job, and less and less hopes that I'm going to actually get one. But, then again...both of these verses presented themselves today:

The first one is my memory verse this week ( which is pretty much cheating since I think I've already had it memorized for years).
Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you. Matt 6:33

And then in my quiet time tonight I came to this verse which says almost the same thing ( but, hey, sometimes we need things repeated for us!), "But seek His kingdom and these things will be added to you." Luke 12:31

And thus, today I spent from 8:30am-6:30pm "baby-sitting" a friend who got her wisdom teeth taken out....I honestly think I might be ok with not having a job if it means this is what I get to do instead. I'm perfectly happy as long as I feel a tad bit useful at the same time....

Of course, it should be noted that I have a wonderful husband who makes it possible for me to do nice things for other people without having to ask for money in return...he's really the greatest most generous person in the world!

In other news I talked to Anna, Amy B, Amy K and Chuck on the phone today...thank goodness my cell phone plane restarted or I'd be in trouble! Those minutes go by fast!!!

What Recovery looks like

-Talking to Brett on the phone ( half way through the conversation I realized I was smiling for no reason...)
-Laying in a warm bed ( something I hadn't done in four days) for a good hour after waking up.
-Eating lunch with Katie without having to leave my house.
-Preparing for my Tuesday night Bible Study talk ( the first one I've had to do here at Fort Lewis. ekk!)
-Watching four episodes of Alias.
-Eating "Mac-a-Bees" ( the name Brett came up for Macaroni and Cheese mixed with black beans.)
-Having a really low-key, yet awesome Bible study with Lindsay and Tina. ( how quickly I've fallen in love with these girls!)
-Chatting with my sister-in-law on the phone.

I feel so much better, and my headache seems to be better, so we'll see! Tomorrow I'm playing nurse for a friend who's getting her wisdom teeth removed. I'm praying there's no blood...I'm NOT good with blood.

I'm back....

My weekend was pretty crazy....and started off strong with a migraine on the plane on the way to New York, a migraine so intense that it started with actual blurred vision before the pain actually even started...it was as if I had looked into a light for a long time and couldn't get my eyes to refocus! It was scary, and also awful since I was a good thirty thousand feet up in the air, facing a weekend of intense Navigator styleness....
But, thanks to all those who prayed for me! I do believe those prayers were answered because I was able to do everything I needed to do and not throw up on anyone or be too overly cranky! So I'd say it was a success even if I didn't feel 100% all weekend!
I am now needing a weekend to recover from my weekend! But, sadly this will not get to happen....things are starting to look busy once again-so before everyone starts to realize I'm home I'm going to spend some quality time with my eyes closed. ;-)

2 years, 1 month....

2 years ago and one month to the day...I went to the Navigators Military Conference outside of Albany, New York. I was really impressed and freaked out all at the same time... all of a sudden it started to become very real to me what a life married to Brett would look like and that was scary...it was scary because it was all so new, it was not the ministry I had envisioned for myself, and it was not the life I had envisioned for myself...I started to wonder if I had it all wrong! But, then after going home and freaking Brett out by telling him what I was thinking, Brett and I came to a turning point in our relationship. I had to make the decision whether I could follow Brett, whether that meant in the army, or as part of the navigators or if it meant going off to Timbuktu...and it started to become very clear that that was not only exactly what I wanted to do, it was exactly what I was suppose to do.

fast forward and we're here....

Tomorrow I'm leaving for Albany, New York to attend the annual Navigators Military Conference yet again.....
how much has changed!

I just found my journal from that trip back in early 2007 and I had to smile at the notes I took at the different sessions. So many of the concepts and thoughts were no longer foreign or new to me ( good ol' navigators! Gotta love those illustrations!), and the relationship of Yesterday is the marriage of Today....
so much has changed!

That ministry that I never thought I could be a part of, is the ministry that I moved back to Washington for, and that life that I never thought I could live is the very life I have. I look back at my journals in awe that all those times that I prayed over and over again that God would "direct my path"...He did! And as much as I have changed....
The Lord, He has not changed at all!

prolonging the inevitable.

My bed is so nice and toast and warm right now! And I'm looking out of my window at blue sky and snow...and honestly, I just want to stay in bed all day and stare outside! But, since I already did that whole "stay in bed all day" thing once this week I'll just blog and get up after that.

Yesterday, at around 5:30 I went into Coffee Shop #1 to re-turn in my resume....and wouldn't you know it? But Boss Man was THERE!! It was truly a miracle since he was literally there for five minutes before leaving again! But, I was able to directly hand him my resume and Awesome Letter and talk to him for a few minutes. I don't know how my first impression was, but I do feel strongly that if God can make all these coincidences happen He can get me a job too! ( if He wants!) It looks like Boss Man is not even sure if he is going to hire anyone in the next little while, but at least I put myself into his mind as an option! We'll see!!

I think that God is teaching me about what 'work' is and what I should or shouldn't be doing to feel like I'm being an active member of society. Its a hard lesson!

Oddly enough, as Brett and I wait to see what his next step of fate in the army will be, I also feel this sense of calm that God knows better than we do about what that step should be, I just pray that He gives us hearts to accept whatever it is joyfully! ( this is already hard, since the idea of moving again in 8 months is NOT a joyful one!)...But, I am actually a little bit ( lets not get too carried away!) excited about the unknown adventures and new places to live that are in our future! I'd just like Brett to be around to enjoy them with me a little more ;-)

picture proof

Here is pictorial proof of numbers 1. and 2. on my last blog post.
Enjoy! ;-)

Stolen.

So, remember how I said I needed to pray for my friends more?! Remember that? Well, apparently God thought that Monday would be a good day for me to spend all day with my eyes closed ( in prayer, I guess)...and I woke at 4am with a mother of a migraine. Awesome.

Thus a day of me laying in bed.

The only REAL problem with this scenario ( since let's not lie, I don't do that much on Mondays), is that the night before I heard through the grapevine that some friends were sitting in Coffee Shop #1 ( the first one that I left my application at)....and heard the boss-man looking over applications and lamenting that the girl he wanted to hire wouldnt call him back....sooooooOo being good friends and looking out for me, my friends asked him about ME and said he should hire ME because I'm wonderful and experienced and so on and so forth...so Boss-Man proceeds to look through his applications and can't find mine there at all!

SOME ONE STOLE IT! Or threw it away ( or the less dramatic reason: it got lost)!!!
Anyway, whatever the case, all day yesterday between my blurry sight and shooting pain I could only think about how my job prospects were slipping away because someone misplace my resume and I wasn't going to get it back in in time!

Of course, all of this WOULD happen after I'd gotten all calm and peaceful about NOT having a job. Nice. Fantastic timing per usual.

For what its worth, I'll be taking in ANOTHER resume and cover letter in this evening ( that's apparently when the boss man is usually in) in the hopes that I will have a second chance. I will also try and bear in mind that all of this is in God's hands....*sigh*

Other things going on in my life today:
1. Its snowing. Pretty hard.
2. I'm making cookies for Bible Study tonight.
3. We're doing a special talk on Purity this evening...should be interesting! But, we've been praying about this for over a month so I'm hoping it'll go well!
4. I'm starting to think about packing for my trip to New York this weekend. I'm thinking mittens are in order.
5. I'm putting my flannel sheets on my bed today. Its just that cold.