the aftermath of a particular breakdown.

Last week was NOT awesome.

Basically you combine a lot of pain in the head with inactivity and you've got the equation to a pretty downtrodden person.

Anyway, over the weekend I realized a few things-first of all, I cannot not MAKE my weeks busy. Sometimes they just aren't going to be stellar in that department, there will not be enough people to hang out with me, there will not be enough errands to run, there will not be anything fun to look forward to...and it'll make me feel sad and a tad lost...and I'll basically be left with my own thoughts and fears to keep me company. Not. Pretty.

But, I've got to be ok with that. I've got to Trust and have Faith and Seek even on those kind of days. And believe me its a LOT harder to do then it looks! Basically, I'm talking about being an anti-farweather-friend of Jesus. Pretty much go in the opposite direction as Peter on the night he betrayed Him. This is also hard to do, because if you think about it, that's what human nature is all about! We're all busily looking for distractions and answers that AREN'T Christ...and none of them are working. So, instead we must choose the hard road-the road that goes harder and looks deeper and believes in the Love even when its not super obvious and on the surface promising you a Perfect Life. Instead, its offering you a tougher, bumpier and full of pot-holes road-but a road that leads the Cross. So basically, its a much better road.

SooOoooOOOO...new week, new month. This coming week is looking almost as dreary as last week ( in the "busy-ness" department), and yes...P.S. All my job applications were pretty much denied. All of them. Which leaves me most certainly jobless for the near to distant future. So somewhere between now and then I need to become OK with not being a busy busy bee.
So the new week and the new month are promising to be all about seeking after the Harder, Bumpier Roads and not being satisfied with watching Alias Season 5 ( for lack of a better analogy-even though Season Five is pretty great.)....

My dearest Blog, I'm continually shocked with how very slow I am to learn some lessons and sometimes I worry that I'll never learn and that I'm destine to be this Silly and this Wrong for the rest of my days...luckily I've been promised:

being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Phil 1: 6