|Sometimes you just need Daddy....|
It doesn't help that Justice-who was the easiest baby ever is going through...something. And I feel like I've tried every option and read every baby forum....I am reminded that babies are basically One Giant Mystery most of the time.
But when Abigail is faced with a mystery what does she do?!?! She fixes things. And once All The Things are fixed ( other than the one she'd really like to fix, obviously), then she plans all the things. Which is why for about 3 weeks I have been MILDLY obsessed with getting a tour of the local Elementary School. And P.S. When I say mildly we all know that I'm really really obsessed, right?! I don't have to spell that out for you, right? I mean, we've been doing this for a long time....
So, I pushed and I planned and those people at the Elementary clearly thought I was crazy for wanting a Tour of their school because they WOULD NOT return my calls! And then when I finally went up there to FORCE THEIR HAND, they essentially laughed in my face and told me someone would call me which is code for go away.
So ANOTHER week goes by and Ransom is sick and Justice is fussier and fussier and I'm going even crazier and I don't see any end to my life as it currently is, ever. I just get up in the morning and take care of the needs of three little people, one of which WILL NOT leave my side for even a second, another who's a raging threenager and another who I can't seem to fix. And clearly this is it, I will be doing this for ever and ever and ever amen. And so I sink further down into my OCD fixing hole.
And then yesterday, I was reading in my quiet time and this verse came across my path...
Be Still in the Presence of the Lord
and wait Patiently for
Him to Act.
So, apparently running yourself ragged is NOT actually the correct response when Life is using you as its punching bag?! And I repented of my crazy ways. I let go of my obsession with the Elementary School, I stopped "bargaining" with God about the hub's ministry trip. ( that's right, he just left for 5 days. Rock on.)
Of course, I then got up from repenting, took Justice to his 6 month Well Check and during the time my phone was off to meet with the doctor, I got two phone calls. One from the Elementary School ( of course, who when I tried to call back, could no longer take my calls again.) and then another call from my husband to let me know that he'd be gone for half of May and then half of June for work trips.
Laugh out loud.
Life, it's just sooooo funny sometimes!
But as I meditated on these things, wondering where to go from there, my 5 year old was building a Lego Creation and it was not going according to what he was clearly picturing in his mind, he was getting MORE and MORE frustrated, forcing pieces into place, jamming down harder and harder until it finally broke into several pieces. AGHAGAGHAFHADAHGHG! He ran to me crying in rage and frustration.
Me too, buddy, me too...
And then I saw myself as I really am.....a 5 year old getting mad about something silly. Throwing a fit when things don't fit together perfectly.
That verse from above? There's more:
The Lord directs the steps
of the godly
He delights in every
of their lives.
In. every. Detail.
So, here I am, a reformed ( but only just) crazy person who's going to lean hard on the fact that this:
A precocious 5 year old, a funny 3 year old and an adorable baby. They're all mine. They are the details. And I will delight in them. They are the details made especially for me to Teach me and draw me closer to the Lord. And so I will delight in them...
But only if I get a bunch of coffee first....