July 30, 2005

sitting in the dark thinking...

I have been by myself in the reading room for the past thirty minutes...doing nothing, now I know I shouldnt complain because that thirty minutes cost $4...and I would just be doing nothing for free at home....but still.

SoOOoOoo, you ask me what I have been doing here in the darkened world that is radiology?!

Looking up baby bands. That's right...those up and coming muscians that, when you think about all the other hundreds, thousands of bands that are trying to make it at the exact same moment....how many will actually go anywhere?! about 5.
5 in 500,000.


I know I have mentioned the particular Nacogdoches favorite "baby band", Sullivan...who I heard in concert last month after not hearing them since high school...they have now changed their name for like the millioneth time....and are now Darcy. Now, this post was going to be all about supporting the underdog...supporting those trying to make it in the vast sea of the musical talented( and not-so-talented)...but I have to make a side comment about the new name of this band. And I would really like to hear what you guys have to say...The name is most probably ( I am only assuming) based on Mr. Darcy the well loved hero of Pride and Prejudice . Which is totally clever if the band wants to attract hundreds and thousands of screaming GIRLS...because as we all know, Mr. Darcy is the most well loved man in all of literature ( or at least he SHOULD be)....but, does a band name like Darcy really attract annnnny male listenership at all? In fact, if I was a guy and I even liked the sound of their music I dont know if I would really get behind them just because I wouldnt want a shirt that said "Darcy" on it. But, then I am not a guy. So thats why I want to know what other people think.

Buuuut, all name problems aside. I like these guys sound. And I am delighted at the strivings they have made in the past few years...I think on their new site you can listen to a few of their songs. Take a listen. You never know, you may be able to say you knew them way back when.....

The other band I came across randomly today ( I dont even remember how) is The profits...interesting sound, a little raw around the edges...but they are worth a listen.

July 29, 2005

a shout out to the universe...

Randomly couldnt sleep last night so I read all of " Enchanted April" by Elizabeth Von Arnim. Its a book that I had never read before but I was reminded of its existence when I was in Italy with the girls...the book is about four english ladies who rent a castle in Italy for the month of April. Its a beautiful book and the characters are delightful. I recommend it.

This morning I read an article on Lance Armstrong in Sports Illustrated before coming to work. Really interesting...and I stand by the fact that some of the best journalistic writing is in Sports Illustrated.

Looks like its going to be a slowish day at work. Something that hasnt happened in a while. Talked to Dr. G about getting my kidney stone taken out. He says I having to be mature by making the decision one way or another. I guess.

I may go swimming in Katies pool tonight ;-)

July 28, 2005


Last night, I had a great 'date' with Emma....while standing in the middle of my driveway with my cellphone ( bad reception)...

Today, I went and saw one of those great "fluffy" movies ( Fantastic Four) you know...the kind where you dont have to think at all....with Kathleen. Good fun.

Tonight, while sitting in my bed ( where I seem to be spending more and more of my time lately) I got a surpise phone call from kristy! Yay! Always a delight to talk to her...makes me miss her smile.

All in all, I am blessed.


Today, I went and looked at an apartment with my mommy....I cant WAIT till Katie gets back, she is going to love it. I really think we are suppose to go through with all of this...Continuing to pray about it all though....I hate it when things move quickly, its scary. ;-)

"You will show me the path of life."~ Ps 16:11

July 27, 2005

Request line...the mix cd.

So, first, if your name is Lydia and you are reading this...if you want your CD to be a COMPLETE surprise than dont read this post. ;-) If your name isnt Lydia than I am going to give you the play list for the CD I just made-but I am not going to tell you WHY I picked them...because thats just for Lyds. :-)

Breathe(2am)~ Anna Nalick
Fix You~ Coldplay
Dice~ Finley Quaye
Hallelujah ~Jeff Buckley
Homesick ~ Mercyme
Save the Best for Last ~ Vanessa Williams
Better Together ~ Jack Johnson
With a little Help from my Friends ~ Joe Cocker
Red, Red Wine ~ UB40
Natural Woman ~ Carole King
Here We Go Again ~ Norah Jones & Raye Charles
Smile ~ Nat King Cole
Such Great Heights ~ Iron and Wine
Kingdom Come ~ Coldplay

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I really like making CDs for people-its great great fun, especially when there is no pressure of whether or on they are going to like it or not....

Here is my personal CD making philosophy:

1. The reason: Its good to have some sort of theme running throughout the CD-either the type of music ( jazz, classical, etc etc) , the kind of mood the CD should evoke ( a driving in your car CD, a afternoon nap CD, a dancing in your underwear CD etc etc) - or in the case of this particular CD a "letter in music form" CD....which means each song brings out a particular message I have for Lydia :-)

2. The flow: Obviously its easier to achieve this when all of the songs are from a paricular genre....or if they are ALL songs that evoke dancing in your underwear sensations....BUT, with the CD I just made I had to make sure each song flowed together without TOO much of an emotional jump. There is NOTHING worse than being in a nice mellow mood after a little Enya ( haha!) and then be shocked out of your chair with some Bon Jovi ( hahaha!)....this is NOT what you should accomplish with a CD-even if you have very diverse songs ( which I think the above CD does to an extent) you must move through them without the listener noticing too much.

3. The audience: Finding songs that you know the person you are making the CD doesnt already own, and yet you know they will want is really the key...finding a song they havent heard before is a LOT harder ( depending on the person) but always the ultimate goal. But, since that usually isnt possible- I at least try to bring out some songs that create the "Wow! I havent heard this song in FOREVER!" sensation.

4. The reaction: I've pretty much already covered this-but ultimately I want to get my message across and make the listener happy! there is nothing like making someone happy with music! :-) Creating a mood, creating a feeling....obviously my goal is to make Lydia miss me HORRIBLY ;-) hehehehehe ( just kidding)

A bad kidney-stone day....

I just tried to explain the pain I am having at the moment...but I know its pretty useless to try...besides, I feel like a broken record.

I might as well come clean: I am writing because I want comments-but then, with a pitiful post like this one, I dont see how I could get any.

I feel like whimpering...I just want this all to go away ( all this being the pain). But, then, whimpering at work seems like bad form.

July 25, 2005

people today

Dr. G= on crazy pills, a kind heart, a good boss.
My parents= home from greece, as crazy as ever, so happy they are back.
Health Insurance people=totally confusing," helpful letter notsohelpful
My sister= a wonderful friend to all that she knows, funny like nobodies business, adorable shoes.
Lydia= adorable phone voice, words of wisdom in season, makes face hurt from smile.

change in location...

So, my parents are coming back from Greece today! At least I HOPE so....if all goes well, they should be home by the time I get off work. I am looking forward to seeing them-its been practically a month since we've spent any time together first my trip to Italy than they were off to Greece....

I am glad they are back because I am SURE my poor sister is tired of having me at her house nonstop. I have been very lucky during the last six months in that I have never felt as though I have overstayed my welcome at either my parents or my sisters homes-because I can always split my time between them. Buut, for the past two weeks I have been at Anna's constantly, partly because my parents house is being looked at by realitors and such and you never know when they'll pop in....and then mostly because I didnt want to be waaaay out at my parents all alone and have to get to the hospital because of my stupid kidney stone. *sigh* all in all its been a stressful two weeks for my poor sister.

Right before work today I went to Hastings Bookstore and wrote notes down from the Loney Planet guide to Italy....BECAUSE i am putting together my totally awesome Italy pictures slideshow! WOO! However, I was a bit fussy on a couple of names of villas and piazzas ( they really DO start to run together after a while!)- but now I am all straightened out and all I have to do is put my pictures in some sort of order, cutting it down to a little less than the 200 or so photos that I have. ;-)
My first audience is my family tomorrow night at Billie and Steves- its always best to do it in front of people that will TELL you if its boring etc ;-)

I watched a perfectly harmless and fun movie this week...sometimes Disney movies are totally fun to watch, especially when you can laugh at how blatant the product placement and placement of their little tween singers and actors that are in ALL their movies etc. good times.

I also watched this moviemovie again....It is really wonderful, even for the fourth time.

lets make music together...

So, I am at Java Jacks at the moment buying songs off of itunes....they are downloading SO fast! makes me SO happy.....

I wont tell you the songs because most of them are going on to one of my "Lydia" CDs....and I want it to be a surprise.

i think its safe to say Lydia and I have a tradition going now....we make each other mix CDs. Now that I think about it, it sounds like we are going out or something. Usually the mix CD is one of the first gifts exchanged between guys and girls we they start to go out! hehehe....

So, it this is true than I should marry Lydia tomorrow- I LOVE making her CDs! One thing, we have very similar taste in music and so I never have to worry if she is going to like it or not...and then we always make "music guides" to go along with the CD so the other person knows why we put it on the CD. Its sooo much fun to do, and I am such a music nerd that I spend ages trying to find the perfect song to express a particular thought or emotion that I am having or that I think Lydia might appreciate.

At the moment I have ( counts in head) nine songs for the CD....which means I still have a few to go...fun!

July 23, 2005

the week that flew...

Seriously, how did it become Saturday already?!

Last night, I watched The Life and Death of Peter Sellers by myself. The movie was extremely interesting and sad/disturbing at the same time....I wasnt really SURPRISED to learn that such an comedy genius was a bit of an eccentric at best, but its still hard to watch. I had to fastforward a few parts.

While I watched the movie I drank 64oz. of ice-tea.Thus continues my battle against the kidney stone.

My sister came home and we watched Life Aquatic-which I really loved. I am a big fan of Wes Anderson movies, and this just might be my favorite thus far...I think its because of Bill Murray who I think is hilarious.

July 22, 2005

Super-sized sleep... with a side order of sleep.

So, remember yesterday when I said I was going to take a nap that afternoon? I bet you didnt think I meant from 2-6PM....and I bet you would be equally surprised to learn that even after THAT nap...I was able to easily sleep from 10:30PM til 10AM...and I actually had to have and ALARM to wake me up at 10.

WOOOO! I feel MUCH better, and yet...I STILL think I could use some more sleep...I think I am getting sick. And I dont just mean my kidney stone. I am falling apart! meeeh!

Work is crazy today- I arrived at 12:30 to a room out of control. The medicine world is like that, totally unpredictable.

hey, thanks for the good comments guys! I really liked the version that Mel came up with! That was awesome! I admit I hadnt looked THAT hard for other versions...so I am glad you guys did your homework. :-)

So, I had an interesting conversation with a friend the other day, she was talking about how she really needed to do a quiet time and that she hadnt done one in a reeeeally long time. She than said something like, "I think I'll be able to do it today, I am working up to it."
This sort of hit me as interesting because I know, I've been there too...if for some reason I get out of the habit of not having a daily QT ( and by getting out of the habit I mean, missing one day) it can SERIOUSLY be a fight to get back to it. Why is that? With something that is so good, so helpful, so NECESSARY to ones relationship with God-it is actually WORK to actually sit down and do it?! It only takes me ONE DAY missing it, to have to fight back to it again....
Here is a confession for you, that really sobered me...and taught me a very good lesson.
So, last tuesday night, I had stayed up late-and was extremely tired when I went to bed. I actually sat on the edge of my bed and stared at my QT books piled next to my bed....and I had a very vivid conversation in my Spirit.
" I am tired. I dont want to do my quiet time right now."
" You need to do it."
" I am too tired, besides I have the morning off from work, I can have a really long one then."
" You need to do it now."
"It would be wasteful to do it now, I am too tired. I'll do a good one in the morning!"

So, I went to sleep and I was awakened at 7AM with HORRIBLE pain....thus beginning what I like to call the Kidney Stone week(s) of Hell....

At some point while I was at the hospital between some bout of pain-I remembered that little conversation and I realized my fault. Why do we put such important things as time with God off until tomorrow? WHY do I live so carelessly as though there will be endless tomorrows?? One day, tomorrow will never come.
A really sobering thought. So now, the important thing is not letting this happen again. I must press harder. For HE is faithful, God is faithful to speak. He is faithful to comfort, encourage, chastise, teach...whatever it is that I need....He is faithful.

July 21, 2005

"you look tired"

I've heard this several times in the past day...so I'm starting to think maybe how I am feeling is starting to show up in my appearance. Ah well, I guess not being able to sleep well for a week really starts to get to ya.
In saying that, I actually slept really well last night. Yay! I think it had a lot to do with getting to talk to Lydia and Emma and also a really good Prayer Meeting at Church.

Before I went to church last night I desparately prayed for a break in pain. Because on Sunday it was actually really hard to concentrate and I felt like I had been cheated from a good sermon because of it. I also prayed that I would be able to stay awake because I was SO tired.

I got my prayers answered!
Ps 97:11 Light is sown like seed for the righteous
And gladness for the upright in heart. (NAS)

Whooooa, that is a beautiful promise that I had never seen before! SOWN! As in, there WILL be fruit for those who strive for righteousness...there will Light, there will be Gladness! Wow.

Its interesting that the word sown is only in the NAS version...but I like it.

After church Anna and I had an interesting time with Thomas. I have to admit our main topic of conversation is something I've felt in the dark about for a long time...and while I still feel in the dark I've finally decided how I am going to pray about it. Very Generally.
Do you think there are ever times you are TOO emotionally involved in something and you actually FEEL your own opinions getting in the way of praying about it? That is how I've felt about this particular issue. USUALLY I am able to pray about my personal opinions first and get them sorted out and then I can pray about whatever it is....but with THIS, I feel like everytime I pray about it I have to spend tons of time hashing out all of my own hurt, my own emotions before I can even begin....so do you think maybe just skipping over that is ok? I mean, it doesnt ultimately matter how *i* feel as long as the Kingdom of God is glorified in this situation...as long as His Will is done.

I also got to talk to my girls last night, I havent really talked to them since Italy...which seems SO long ago! It always makes me feel better to hear their voices-even if one or all of use isnt doing particularly well...it just makes me pray for my friends MORE...which is always a good thing. I continue to thank God for each of my friendships-whether here in Texas or overseas, I realize that I am truly blessed to have such special friends.

Well, that catches us up to this morning. I am extremly sleepy and I am reeeeally hoping i get to take a nap this afternoon. This is my first half day of work in a long time which makes me happy. Ten hours straight is actually starting to grow on me and I am able to do it without thinking-but today....well, today I am looking forward to just 6 hours. ;-)

July 20, 2005

scrub fashion and MORE!

EDIT: I almost forgot to give some props to Jared who came out of a long blogging break to complete the questionaire! :-)

my title sounds like a cheesy advertisment....but its not.

I just read THIS
1 John :6-10 This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.

Which reeeeally fit for today. Isnt it crazy cool how no matter HOW many times you read the Bible-it is constanly speaking to you as though it was the first time....shows what a slow learner I am ;-)

Wait, that wasnt why I was initially going to blog...hmmmm....ah yes, my new scrubs that Lydia asked about. For those of you that dont know, I have now been working for the radiologists since April and I only had ( counting in head) 4 different tops and two different pants options....booooooo! I was SO tired of them that when I got back from Italy I went shopping and bought three new tops and one new pair of pants.
The pants are black. The tops are bright electric blue, light lilic purple, and bright pink....nice cheerful colors in my opinion. :-)
In many ways I cant get used to the whole "wearing scrubs" thing about the medical field-its just so boring and hard to get motivated about. There is also a GREAT danger of falling prey to what I like to call "fashion peer pressure" that causes normal people with normal fashion sense to do stupid things like wear scrubs with Herbie the disney VWBeetle all over it...or Mickey mouse and friends....now, I say this with complete love for those who do the above act....I mean, it obviously has nothing to do with their NORMAL fashion sense....surely.
Its just a matter of being surrounded with other people wearing such silly scrubs all day- and then the bordom of your own bland waredrobe that pushes one to such extremes.
Buuut, luckily I had a feeling this might happen, so when I first got this job I told my sister she was not to allow me to buy scrubs that even slightly resembled childrens PJs....and sure enough last week I was EXTREMELY tempted to buy scrubs with Strawberry shortcake all over it....luckily I made it through that temptation unharmed. But, I know the longer I work here and the longer I see other people with such "fun" and "cheerful" scrubs I will be tempted again. The reason behind this steadfast rule is that I know that while OTHERS may be able to pull off such outfits, kind of like schoolteachers pulling off the vest with festive buttons all over it with matching stretch pants....I know that *i* will never be one of those people. I would just look like a little kid who is running around in my PJs in the middle of the day.


Well, just in case you havent been counting the days ( like I have). Today is my one week anniversary with my kidney stone.

I went to see the urologist today....which was helpful in that he told me he would "blast the stone" anytime I wanted...and he also gave me some medicine that I can take that wont "put me down" like codine...which is nice, so I am taking that now here at work. woo.
I've decided not to get the stone "blasted"-mostly because I am an optomistic person by nature and even though its been a WEEK....I am still hoping I'll pass this stupid stone. And I dont really know how long it would be to get over "minor surgery" and I KNOW that I can work with this particular pain that I have now, and I dont know if I could work after the surgery...soooo...thats why I've decided to wait.

To tell you the truth, I can pretty much handle the every DAY of constant pain....but its the NIGHTS that get me down. I havent been sleeping very well, and I have the tendency to feel really sorry for myself at night. ;-)

On a not so "kidney stone" related news....Katie and I went shopping for places to live yesterday-we didnt really find anything that just yelled "we want to live here!"....but Katie is going on holiday for the next two weeks with her family so I have some time to do follow up on the places that we thought MIGHT be possiblities...I think the events of the past week have slowed me down a little bit on the moving thing- dont get me wrong I would love to find a place tomorrow and be totally moved out by the time my parents get home, but I think i am being more realistic now...Its going to take a while to find a place...but I am sure the perfect place is out there.

Lets see what other news? Oh, I read Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince...I read it in practically one sitting....from about 7Pm to 5am in the morning....with various tasks stuck in between....I finished it into the night mostly with the help of my "not sleeping" thing....
I am just DYING to talk to someone about it...so if you've read it let me know...send me email on your thoughts or something :-)

July 18, 2005


yeah, I was in considerable pain yesterday....and barely made it through church. Went home and sat on the couch for a few hours, with a pillow stuffed up onto my left side ( somehow the pressure helps) until Anna brought me homemade lunch curtiousy of Ryan's mom. She ALSO brought me codeine....which really helped with the pain.... To say the least....what WAS my stupid doctor talking about when he said "nothing would be able to help the pain." ?!?!?!

He is so getting fired.

Yeah, the last straw came when he called the reading room today ( I am working all day) and was totally short with me, and as rude as ever! And now I he cant even use the excuse that he doesnt know who I am! I TOLD him where I worked during one of our annoying "chitchat" moments while I was in the hospital. And let me just say right now before you all start accusing me of acting in a fit of pain.....Everyone ( all of my "motherly figures" that were in my room when he came around on rounds agreed that he wasnt very helpful OR nice.
Dr. Mean is gone forever, I cant WAIT to call up his office and ask for my files to be moved. mmmmmwhahahaha.

SOooOoOOo. Its 3:30. Only a few more hours of this place before I can relax. I am incredibly grateful that my prayers were answered today and I havent been in any major pain at all today. Infact, I might go so FAR as to VENTURE to say THAT my kidney stone COULD be gone. Its either GONE or its being horribly overshadowed by PMS cramps. Yes, you may think I am oversharing ( because I am) but you will find that when YOU are in pain- you too, will start to have NO qualms about sharing personal facts about yourself. Yes, anyway, back to my pain...I am sad to say that I am going from one form of pain to another and I am pretty sure Mr. KS ( as I have foundly named my kidney stone) is still hanging out somewhere between my kidney and my bladder. woo.
Hey speaking of which, today one of my doctors ( not to be confused with my ACTUAL doctor...as in the person i go to for medical care, unlike 'my doctors' who I work for...) anyway, one of my doctors told me I needed to go home and drink a six-pack of beer, it helps "clean you out". This is actually not so odd, because that is what one of the nurses I work with told me to do last week....I laughed at her. But after being in pain for many days in a row I am starting to take the advice more seriously...and if I didnt hate the taste of beer SO MUCH. I might actually do it.

No matter, whatever I decide to do tonight it WILL include me reading the new Harry Potter...which I bought at Wal-Mart at 9:36PM last night when I was there buying scrubs ( long story)-it was at Wal-Mart that Anna and I encountered the rudest checkout girl ever. She was extremely lucky that I didnt give her "words" because she had NO IDEA how on my last nerve I actually was....

I am tired. I am tired of pain.

July 17, 2005

no end in sight...

To say I was down would be a ALMOST an understatement at this point...but instead will just say its a good description.

At the moment, I can think of a few things that my title refers to...one being that I am at work, and there are STILL jackets piled up...most of them large cases...and its quarter to 10-meaning I probably wont be out of here in time for church at 11. BOO!!!!
I sooo want to go to church!

There is also no end in sight for this GOD AWFUL PAIN IN MY SIDE. Most of the time its just a niggling sort of catch in my side...but then, like last night and this morning... it makes itself a little bit more apparent and becomes more of a constant pain that isnt big enough for major pain killers and isnt small enough for normal over the counter drugs. *sigh*
And you want to know my biggest fear? Its sorta silly, but if I dont tell you, dear blog...than who will I tell? I am afraid that I am already getting boring. As in, people ask me how I am doing-and they expect some sort of definate answer like
" I am in super crazy pain!" or
" The kidney stone has left in a timely fashion!"

But this is not the case...its not that way at all....and I am actually bored with MYSELF. so I can only imagine how everyone else is feeling. I just feel everyone else not believing me...or thinking I am exaggerating....or thinking I am being a drama queen.

I know I am just being a worry wart. Which is probably because I didnt sleep very well last night. I felt totally overwelmed and sorta scared. I felt like a little kid. I think pain sorta does that to you sometimes. You just really want your mommy. The bad thing about actually "being" a grown-up is that you know that having your mommy there wouldnt actually make things "all better"...so you feel even MORE at a loss....

Isnt it funny that this time last week I was in SUCH a happy place? I find that almost encouraging...it means that God knew I needed a heavy duty "filling up" before this whole episode occured............

Well, I feel like I've dealt with the "heavy" stuff long enough. Lets talk about other things like:

I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. My first reaction was great. Johnny Depp was HALARIOUS! Anna and I laughed pretty much the whole movie! Though we thought it a bit odd that nobody else seemed to be laughing. But, I think the movie proved that A. Johnny Depp is STILL the greatest actor ever.
B. The little boy ( man, I should learn his real name) that played Charlie was still heartbreakingly adorable.
C. Old people make my sister cry. no matter what.

However, on later discussion and overall evaluation of the movie: I didnt think it was really THAT incredible to need a "re-do" from the orginal. I think it lacked imagination-I mean, I was expecting some new ideas, some new magical features to the chocolate factory. But this was not the case. Buuuut, it was fun. And there was some back story that the orginal didnt have that I thought was fun and interesting.... the umpa-lumpas were still just as freaky as they were back in the day.And Good ol' Tim Burton is still all about making weird movies.

On another popular culture note: I looked for a copy ( granted, I didnt look hard) of the new Harry Potter book...but the bookstore seemed to be all sold out. Darn, looks like I'll have to wait until next week-when the next gigantic shipment comes in.

Annnnd, before I go: MAD props to Sunshine for sharing deep opinions, to falling prey to peer pressure, and in the process making me happy. :-)

July 15, 2005

labor pains

So, just incase you dont read comments...I've been in the hospital the last few days...and not just for work ;-)

On Wednesday morning at almost 7AM on the dot a kidney stone decided to wake me up. It wasnt long before I had woken up my sister and had her take me to the ER where I spent a whole day with the people I usually work with....except this time I was rolling around in pain, crying, throwing up and doped up on Morphine...all things you would rather NOT do around your co-workers. *sigh*

Finally on Thursday afternoon I was told I could go home and "wait it out"...but I got tired of that...and now I am at work. ( its friday afternoon)
You see the tricky thing about kidney stones is they hurt pretty much constantly but they only hurt to the point of wishing you were dead for short little spurts every now and then....the other totally "awesome" thing about kidney stones is that "unless its straight up morphine, pain killers arent going to help" so I am pretty much dealing with this baby without any help. meh. Which is why I decided to go to work...I mean, who KNOWS how long this stupid stone is going to hang out?? And I am not about to make poor Demetrius continue to work for me after working 12 straight days while I was on vacation. I mean at the moment it hurts about like really bad cramps. I can handle that. AND, if I DO have another major pain fest...what better place to be than AT the hospital??

On a happy note: My sister was amazing and has pretty much stayed with me none stop-she even spent the night in the hospital with me which is never fun being awakened every two hours by a LOUD tech taking blood pressure. She also made it through the traumatic experience of seeing me WRITH in pain and think I was going to die...and then worry that I WASNT going to die. Bless her heart, she was wonderful. I couldnt ask for a better sister...or should I say "mother"...since that is what she was called twice! aaaahahahaha!

Billie and Steve did a beautiful job acting as second parents. I will definitely be taking care of them when they get old, now! Getting to hold the bedpan while I throw up and moan...and the watching "The Rookie" with me...hehehe...all good times, some better than others.

Mrs. Powell, also came and mothered over me and even took me home when everyone else was at work. I felt totally taken care of and loved. I think this whole ordeal proves that your church IS your family!! :-)

Please pray that this kidney stone goes away soon...Its hard for me to get anything done. And I have SO much to do! :-(

July 11, 2005

The snack that stuck.


I was having a little sugarlow action.
I went and stood in front of the vending machine.
I randomly pushed E8.
I ate an almond snickers bar. It was "meh" ok.
I promptly got almond stuck in the hole where my wisdom teeth frequent on occasion.
I am ANNOYED by the almond. It WONT GO AWAY. My tongue is getting sore trying to get it out.

Day after.... yesterday

Yesterday my parents left for Greece. Woo. I am so excited for them, after coming back from my OWN totally awesome vacation I cant wait for them to have JUST as great a time as I did....
I've heard many times that the best vacations are the ones you really WANT to come back from....I was really doubting that was possible.
And I had dreaded the Post-Italy time. As background information, I think it would be far to say I do better in life when I have something to look forward to. As you can imagine, a trip like Italy was at the TOP of my "look forward to" list. Before I left on the trip I really prayed that I would get some sort of direction, some sort of peace while I was there....

You could say the trip was a lot of things but a chance to get peace was not one of them! hehehe, yup, I bet Lydia and Emma would agree with me when i say that God did a lot of things on our trip, some of it uncomfortable, some of it awe inspiring....all of it growing and stretching. In a word, it was not what I excepted to happen :-)
So, it was ANOTHER suprise, so to speak, when I was flying through the air on the way back to Texas and I felt REALLY good about going back! It was strange, but there I was sitting on that plane, and I just realized that a lot of my problems about being back in Nacogdoches were based entirely on the fear of being STUCK there...being FORGOTTEN there. I know, its totally unfounded fear. But I was comforted by all that had happened on our trip to Italy-I mean, how totally out of the blue and crazy that God would truly bless us with such a trip. Not only for being in Italy, but for working in ALL of our lives....It was as though I heard a whisper say, "Is there anything I cant do? I can take you all the way to Italy to bring you closer to your friends! "- The point is that if God so desires to move me somewhere else...He will. easily.
And until He does that I need to be joyful in my time here. Afterall, it is where I am suppose to be! I've always felt that it was, but I always felt fear that it always would be....

Even before I left FOR Italy I knew that I needed to start the motions of moving out of my parents house when I got back. But, even with the thought in my head that I NEEDED to do it, it was still scary because for me getting my own place=stablity...it equaled being here for the period of a lease. meeh. I hadnt really wanted to do it.
BUT, after my plane revelation I was ready to start taking the steps...steps that were only solidified when I got into the car in Houston and was told that my parents had put their house on the market, had bought and would start building houses on the land in the next few months. Whoa.
And yes, you heard right, HOUSES....they are building three.
Annnnywho, once again I felt that the moving out steps couldnt come at a better time-getting out of my parents hair at this point seems like the ONLY option.
I am hoping that I will be able to find a place before they get back from Greece in two weeks. Because, even though they, too, must SURELY be ready to see me go....I think it would be better for me to worry and fret over it while they arent around.
On that same moving strain of conversation- I was given an entire set of dishes yesterday at Penny's house!Yay! How exciting, and couldnt have come at a better time! Once again I felt confident that THIS was the time to make this move.

Lets see, what else has been going on?
Yesterday was a great day spent with my sister- I really missed her while I was away!!
We had lunch with the Toushas and the Scotts-which was waaay nice of them since Anna and I were left without are Mommy to cook us our Sunday lunch ( when are we gonna grow up?!?) And then after talking to Ryan on the phone we headed out to Douglas where one of Anna's friend's house is...they are out of town for the week and Anna and I are "taking care of their pool." It is TRULY our pleasure! We were seriously like giddy little 10 year olds on our way out there! :-)
The service at Evening Church was WONDERFUL. It was like BAM! Welcome Back! Seriously, it .....( OH MY GOSH! I just had the BIGGEST scare, I had turned a way from my computer to talk to a nurse and I must have hit the shift key, because when i turned back around my posting box was totally blank! I thought i had lost everything...meeeeh!)

Ok, where were we? Right, Church...it was so encouraging! Which was crazy when you consider the starting text was the Rape of Tamar in 2 Samuel!!! But, it went from their into a reminder of the promises that we have in God and how there is no trial, no "discipline" from God that can change those...woooo! I cant do it justice, but it was wonderful. I got chill bumps at one point.

After church Anna and I watched the looong anticipated "Dear Frankie"...it is about a little 9 year old boy who writes letters to his Dad and desparately wants to meet him....I totally cried, several times...it was a wonderful movie.. and having Gerry Butler play "The Stranger" was, well...a plus ;-) Go out and rent it today! I KNOW you'll love it.

Speaking of movies I loved: Bride and Prejudice. Awesome movie! Totally fun, totally clean...it was SUCH fun! Typical Bollywood style of breaking out into song and dance at random moments. Confession: I am tempted to buy the soundtrack.

Hasnt this post gone on long enough, you ask? Well, yes...I think it has.


Here are my darling friends that did what I asked! :-) Cheers dearies!



Anyone else???

July 09, 2005

Quiz answers...

I was requested on Evan's blog to take part in this little question thingy...and far be it from ME not to do it...I LOVE such things ;-) besides its a little random break from all the Italy stuff....

1] Favorite Scent: coffee in the mornings
2]Favorite way to relax: blogging, actually...it gets all the thoughts out- I am CONSTANTLY writing in my head and if I didnt get it out I would PROBABLY die. ( probably)
3]Favorite movie you own: hmmmm...movie I PERSONALLY own?? My parents own over 100 DVDs so I've just watched theirs for ever...but recently I've been slowly building up my personal collection. So I would definitely say it was either The Village or Finding Neverland....a hard call.
4]Favorite movie you don't already own: LOTR:EE ( Like I said, I've just been using my parents up until this point...but I really SHOULD be getting my own!)
5]Favorite male movie star: At the moment its probably Gerard Butler....I am just DYING to see the scottish movie "Dear Frankie" that just came out on DVD in the states...but on a day to day basis it will always and forever be: Johnny Depp
6]Favorite female movie star: Cate Blanchett because I am continually impressed at what a wide range she has....she can seriously look TOTALLY differently...and she was the BEST part of the Aviator.
7]Favorite book genre: Biographies
8]Favorite clothing store: Urban Outfitters...but that can change daily. ;-)
9]Favorite non-clothing store:Hobby Lobby
10] Favorite cartoon character: Homer Simpson
11] Favorite CD that you own: Are you kidding?! I am suppose to PICK JUST ONE?! *sigh* FINE- I just checked my play count on itunes and it looks like MercyMe's Spoken For has the most songs in the top ten.
12] Favorite CD that you don't already own: Shawn McDonald's Simply Nothing...I got it onto my ipod from Lydia's computer in Italy...and I'm loving it!
13] Pass the torch and tag five of your blogger/lj friends:
oooooo! only five? How about everyone?? I would LOVE for all of those that I have linked to complete this-if they havent already. Do it and I will be sure to link it onto my next few posts ;-) free publicity...what more do you want?!


Originally uploaded by abigailsday.
See that crazed look in my eye? that's is allll natural!
The girls and I stood in line to see the famous dome of the Dumo....we all thought the line would take us into the church were we could look UP AT IT FROM SAFELY FROM THE FLOOR. But no. Instead we were sent up a tiny tiny spiral stair case (640 steps up to just the FIRST level and then on up to the second level so that we could go back DOWN.)
now, as many of you know...I am afraid of heights and of confined spaces-this stair case and then the tiny ledge that we came out onto provided me with BOTH fears... the dome itself was beautiful-but I was plaster up against the wall as I looked at it in the midst of panting and sweating from our climb....good times, good times.

July 08, 2005


Originally uploaded by abigailsday.
As I already mentioned...we pretty much ran wild in the ruins...however, in this particular picture Emma and I DID cross over a 'dont cross' marker....tisk tisk, we are rebels ;-)

hadrians villa

hadrians villa
Originally uploaded by abigailsday.
As I already mentioned...we pretty much ran wild in the ruins...however, in this particular picture Emma and I DID cross over a 'dont cross' marker....tisk tisk, we are rebels ;-)


Originally uploaded by abigailsday.
This is a picture of Emma, her dad and her granddad as they walked through one of the tunnels into the main colliseum.


Originally uploaded by abigailsday.
This cross at the main entrance was the only reference and thing honoring the many who died within.


Originally uploaded by abigailsday.
I miss my girls :-( I was truly blessed to spend time with them...

Florence....Art overhaul

Florence was a literal breath of fresh air. I think it must have been at least ten degrees tempature drop. Even though we spent a whole day walking in the sun I still didnt feel as hot and I tired as I did in Rome ( as in, my ankles werent sweaty) . We only had one really full day in Florence, but my major impressions are once again comments on the catholic church. We pretty much walked from one Piazza to the next, each one had its own, equally impressive Basilica. Yup, we didnt really know what to expect, But now I fully appreciate the exent of saint worship after seeing so many different altars each with a different set of candles and a different saint to pray to. I was shocked when I saw the actual MUMMIES ( for lack of a better word) of a particularly well admired archbishop and a nun. Both bodies were up on beautiful golden altar-I couldnt help but think of the pagan gods of ancient times-how each had a specific expertise and you would go pray to a specific one with a specific problem-somehow seeing it in its LITERAL form as in the Saints coffin being right there in front of you to pray to...that was a bit....ummm....much for me. I cant see HOW that is Biblical.....
Also, seeing SO MANY cathedrals in a radius of a square mile was overwhelming! My,how RICH the catholic church was at one time! It was grossness of wealth in my opinion ( as in I feel there are often better things are money and riches can be going towards) it was a good reminder of how I feel about the protestant church today-especially here in the south of the united states ( the Bible Belt) where you can see GIANT churches...often on every street corner. While there is a difference in that these huge churches of today are not NEARLY as beautiful...I still find the similarities sobering.
My favorite Cathedral ( Basilica) was by far Santa Croches which houses the tombs of Michelangelo, Machiavelli and Galileo. Seeing them, people I've studied, some i've admired....it was cool to see. We also went to the Pitti home...which was one of the largest homes built where the ruling families of Florence lived. It now houses and incredible collection of art. It was there that I saw a portrait of Queen Elizabeth that has been on the cover of two of my anthologys that I studied in Renissance Literature! It was SOOO cool to see it in person, no fanfare...just there among a good 500 other pieces of art....crazy.
We took a day trip into Tuscany from Florence. Even though Florence was cooler and less crowded it is STILL a city and still full of tourists-so getting into small villages was really appreciated. We went to Vinci where we went to the Leonardo museum, they have made models of all the eperiments he detailed in his journals. And speaking as someone who has NO expertise or knowlede of engeneering, science or other such endeavors...I can say confidently even with just scratching the surface, as I did, that man was incredible! I know I only studied him in a limited fashion while I was in school...but I think he would REALLY be worth learing more about.
Now, museums aside, I could TOTALLY live in Vinci! It was totally a "beautiful wish you were here!" kina place! Tuscany really IS fully of vineyards and fields of sunflowers!! We also went to the town od Bucca which was a good example of a town that while it doesnt have something hugley famous like Pisa ( which really JUST consists of the leaning tower surrounded by tourist trap shops)-no matter how you look at it it still has more history in it that all of the United States! The church we visited there, while not very remarkable on the surface, had done extensive excavation( spelling?) under the church! You can go down and actually see the Roman Baths that were there during the 1st century and then the the church that had been there in the second century complete with graffiti on one of its outer walls!
We also visited a tiny museum there that had various relics on display...there is truly nothing like seeing the finger of some Martyr or Saint to really make you stop and thank God that Martin Luther posted his opinions on the door of that church....

Before we headed off to Venice we made one final stop in Florence, to see the sculpture of David. And yes, it was everything he was cracked up to be-only bigger. It was a lot bigger than I thought it would be. There was also a really cool display of pictures taken from the prospective of the sculpture-just a bunch of people looking up at it-I thought it was very neat.

Ah, last stop-Venice.

When in Rome do what Romans dont do regularly: take a shower.

I think the record number of showers I took in one day was three. So, to say the least Rome was HOT. In fact, I think there were times that my ANKLES were sweating...and the worst place to sweat is behind the knees....but my sweat glands are not what I want to talk about.

My thoughts of Rome ( as I wrote in a letter to my brother-in-law) the things in italics are added notes that I thought of today:

Rome=terribly, horribly hot. Apparently it was "record breaking heat, which was conforting to find out since my body was sweating ALL OVER most days. One day ( the day of the fated Vatican tour) the girls and I had a record breaking three showers a piece. So, not only was rome hot, but crowded-it is probably the only place I've visited ( in my limited experiences) that I would NEVER want to lived and couldnt see myself there for a long period of time. But, in saying that...it is fascinating to see the ruins of the Roman empire-the fountains, the statures. They all give off an air of "glory" even now. The colleseum was impressive. At first I didnt think it was as that big. but with a little imagination ( in which I added on a top layer) I was blown away with it. esp. to see how well it was designed. When our guide was discribing how people could easily flow in and out through 8 major gates I was reminded of my sisters hellish horror story when she felt trapped at the NFL game that she went to...I guess society hasnt advanced that much.

A side note here, to tell the, funny now/tramatic then, story of getting into the collesuem-there were seemingly hundreds of tour groups and when we tried to get passed them as they milled around outside, about FOUR tour group leaders pushed at us and yelled "GROUP-A!!!" "GROUP-A!!!" Really loud...I seriously thought they were going to kill Emma's poor eighty-something yearold grandfather who was with us. For the rest of the trip when ever we came across a tour group ( which was about every minute and a half) we just HAD to yell "GROUPA" really loudly...

I was a bit disappointed that our guide did not speak very much at all about the "games" that went on. In fact, interestingly enought, she spent most of her time downplaying the brutality and dispelling certain "myths" as in "the glatiators were not slaves forced to fight...no, they were treated with great honor and were PROUD and HAPPY to fight"...the funny thing was during the Q&A it came out that this wasnt "entirely true"....ummm...OOOOKKKKKK...she didnt even mention the thousands of people that were thrown to animals etc.
It is sad/disconcerning that after all this time we've either forgotten...or even scarier....dont want to remember.

Speaking of forgetting-we visited musollini's Olympic statium that he built in the 30s and was, then, not used until ( I think) the sixties. The statium unlike everywhere else we had been, was totally deserted. No one was anywhere around. Here were these giant statues and huge facilites and they were completely overgrown with weeds seemlingly forgotten minus a lot of graffiti. At the time of our visit, my only thought was that the fascist rein was too soon in their past for the italians to point out this fascinating piece of their history-this theory was proven later on in our trip....

I know I've already mentioned the HORDES of people in Rome. But they didnt truly bother me until our trip to the Vatican. We stood in line for an hour and a half with thousands of people. and when I say "we" I actually mean, Emma's DAD stood in line while Emma, Lydia and I went and browsed a really cheap market that was "conveniently situated" right beside the huge line. My mind naturally drifted to when the pope died and Rome was "packed"-in my estimation it WAS packed NOW....I can only imagine how horrible it would have been to be in Rome a month or so ago!
Funny side note about tour groups, all tour groups...all tour guides hold up something high in the air so that they can be easily found amoung the HORDES. Mostly scarfs on a stick, umbrellas, flowers on a stick....so what did OUR tour guide of the Vatican hold??? the Metro section of the newspaper rolled up!! The newspaper thing was a clear indication of what type of guide this guy really was...he was HORRIBLE....one of the worst/most embarrassing things that happened to me on the trip started because of this annoying little man: Once we got inside to vatican and were preparing to begin our tour...our faithful guide stopped us all and counted us off to make sure everyone was there....he counted....he counted again...and then he said, "there was 47, now there is 47! I count again!" Several more minutes pass and once again he says we have one more person...it was annoying. I was hot. And OUT of my mouth popped this comment, "Did you count yourself??" I meant it seriously and to be helpful but everyone laughed. meeeeh. Finally we were on our way and we were given our tickets and told to go through the ticket line where you put your ticket into the machine and it pops on the other side unlocking the gate and letting you pass in where a person on the other side hands you your punched ticket. As I walked toward the gate I brushed my hand holding my ticket through my hair and at that moment my bracelet got soundly stuck in my hair. There were people coming up behind me, and both Lydia and Emma were ahead of me...I had to take the ticket out of the hand stuck on top of my head and then walk through the gate with my hand on my head...I TRIED to look natural but I think the ticket guy may have thought it was odd that when he tried to hand me my ticket back I had to turn and take it with the other hand....then I called for the help of Emma and Lydia...luckily Lydia was able to un-tangle me, but Emma got "shhhed" but the Vatican people because she was laughing so hard. Loud Americans.

I thought I was going to DIE in the Vatican, which if I was catholic would probably be some sort of a blessing...but since I am NOT...it was just horrible. I will quote Lydia as we descended down a tiny tunnel with a short ceiling and walls that closed around you, being pushed by the hundreds of people behind you and slowed down by the hundreds of people infront of you.." Do you have to descend into HELL to get to the Sistine Chapel?!" I was really glad Lydia was the one to say it...afterall, it would have been typical for Emma or I to say something rude like that-but sweet little Lydia? not so much...It was a rather timely comment because if something hadnt been said to break the ice right then, I think I would have a break down. But enought about my emotional state. My thoughts on the vatican and the sistine chapel: Excessive wealth. It really blew my mind how insanely wealthy the vatican must be. Hey, here's a thought...why dont they sell off a few statues and gold crowns and fee some kids in Africa-or heck, closer to home-the munchkins who beg in the streats of Rome! *sigh* it WAS amazing though. And the Sistine chapel was incredible to say the least. I dont think I fully appreciated it until after I saw a few hundred more cathedral ceilings ( which after Florence I can safely say I have seen that many) the difference I saw was in most of the murals of that scale, there are lots of "filler" space, you know, borders and such so that the actual painting isnt THAT much. The only way, I think, to fully appreciate the Sistine chapel-with so much there to see and take in-would be to clear out the other 250 people out of the room-then lie down on the floor and stare for a few hours.

After that mind blowing experience we had a driver take us out of the city to Hadrian's Villa. It is one of the largest ruins site of its magnitude in the world, in its hayday it covered a greater magnitude than the centre of the Empereal Rome! Once you go through the main gates you are free to wander the grounds which really DID feel like a small town.. We stuck mostly to the main house-many of the main walls are still intact and in places you can still see the intricate designs that coevered the walls. even just this basic skeleton of the buildings created a sense of awe-it was so spectacular as RUINS, seeing it in its orginal glory doesnt fit in my mind...
We were SO HOT and so thirsty after walking in ruins for two hours, I stand firmly behind the opinion that the water I had to drink after was the best I've EVER HAD. We then drove a short distance to the town of Trivoli were Villa d' Este is located. I think this particular villa was my favorite....the girls and I didnt know we were even going there until we drove up. I had seen pictures of the villa's terraced gardens in the past...It had been the home of a particular archbisop who like gardening and created a garden full of fountains and water gardens and streams as an "artistic" watering system. There were three major fountains and then over a hundred smaller fountains on the terraces. The water was provided by an underground stream which was bitingly cold even in the midday heat ( I stuck my feet in for a few sounds and they went NUMB!) Each fountain was different and entricate in design. I kept thinking of my Papa and the pictures he would have taken here....

Thus endeth my brief account of Rome...

"the party is over, get back to work!"

So, its 9:41AM....and I mention that not for your benefit...but mine. I have NO concept of time at the moment and being in this dark room doesnt help ;-)

So, its true. I am back in Texas, back at work, back in the real world.

It's hard to believe that this time yesterday I was....well, I dont really know what time this time yesterday is equalivant to...but whatever, I was probably in Italy.

Since I am at work all day today, and my hands are shaking like NOBODIES BUSINESS...and I am a BIT out of it but I've still managed to do my job well for over an hour now...I SHOULD be able to give you SOME accounts of my trip...hopefully in a few installments. So get ready.

July 03, 2005

Money in Venice....

WOOOO, thanks to sam for the help with the formatting...I can only hope that I fixed it because everything on blogger is in Italian at the moment. hehehe...luckily some of the words look similar therefore....should be good to go.

as the title implies-we are in Venice. our final stop before the trip is over. Its hard to believe I've now been to Rome; Florence, Tuscany and now VENICE ( my dream city!)....today was our first real day here....the girls and I went for a little °walk° around...since its Sunday all the shops I reeeeally wanted to go in were closed-which is probably lucky since everything is INSANELY expensive here! Most of the stores are fashion designers...I want a hermes bag but I am trying to control myself. ;-) Later on Emma and I got totally lost ( you know when you are lost when there is NO ONE around anywhere) and it gave me a better understanding of the city, so many passage ways (aka roads) to walk down I am impressed with those who seem to get around easily. It is beautiful, but it bitesized pieces...as in, you see a beautiful window with a flower box over looking a tiny bridge...the beauty here is not seen in giant statues are big gardens...it is in the details. I like it. I like how unique it is.....

Lunch today cost 3o US dollars just for MY drink and plate of pasta...whoooooa....

I feel really out of it, since my blogging hasnt been consistant- at the moment my best account has been given in a letter I am writing to my brother in law Ryan...maybe when I am finished with the letter I'll type it up for ya...someday when I am at work, hehehe.....probably the day after I get back.

How, is everyone? I feel so out of it| I guess I,ll go read some blogs now. ciao.

July 01, 2005

Fascist Florence

hahah, just kidding....but, seriously, we did have a driver today who drove us to Vinci, Pisa and Lucca-the prize of Tuscany...who was totally a Musollini fan. It was funny. And scary.

Sooooo....we are in florence, we leave tomorrow....but not after seeing David. Yeah, you know who Im talking about....the statue.

So sure that I would have more time to blog...but turns out. no.

hahaha, youll just have to hope (as I do) that Ill remember it all when I get home.

love you loads...those who've written....unlike my parents. who havent. boo. parents? are you alive?