January 31, 2006

Across the page from each other...

I stopped praying and walked across the room to get my Collection of Amy Carmichael's Poems-I didnt even know what I was looking for exactly, I just knew something needed to be said that I couldnt quite get out myself... and then I read these two poems. Yes, they spoke to ME tonight, they quieted all the rambling "what ifs" and "I cants" that littered my thoughts...and all that was left was Peace.

But, I was praying for you tonight as well...and so I leave these words with you, may you have Peace tonight.

Leave It to Me

Leave it to Me, child; leave it to Me.
Dearer thy garden to Me than to thee.
Lift up thy heart, child; lift up thine eyes;
Nought can defeat Me, nought can surprise.

Leave it to Me, child leave it to Me.
Trust in the Wall of Fire. Look up and see
Stars in their courses shine through the night;
Both are alike to Me-darkness and light.

Leave it to Me, child, leave it to Me.
Let slip the burden too heavy for thee;
That which I will, My hand shall perform-
Fair are the lilies that weather the storm.


Art thou disappointed? Come to Me;
I will never be a grief to thee.

Hurt by hand thou trusted? Come to Me;
Leaves of healing I will lay on thee.

Art thou broken? Come, my child, to Me;
I, thy Comforter, will comfort thee.

Even friends can sometimes changeful be;
I will always be the same to thee.

...this is a one.

So it turns out that I spoke too soon. There really werent very many blogs to catch up on...and no one wrote interesting comments for me to read-no one has taken the poll since last night...and there is nothing interesting going on the news...there is nothing for me to look up on imdb.com and I've already replied to every email in my in box that needed replies...as well as writing several other emails to people that hadnt even written me.

So, to fill my time...
The Life and Times at Apartment 420 ( all the things that have happened in our apartment in the last twenty-four hours...that I can think of....in no particular order)

-Katie and I discussed grandparents, memories and families in all their craziness.

-I laid on the dining room floor to help my back which had been "killed" by 8 hours in a foldingchair at Jury Duty.

-Katie stood outside on the balcony and saw I a guy smoking something "special" in his car.

-Cleaned out the lent trap on our drier...only to find that not only did the drier work a million times better...but the lent had collected in the "coolest rainbow pattern ever".

-Realized that my closet cant hold all my shoes. Gave up being organized a long time ago.

-Ate Mac and Cheese-realized I hadnt eaten anything healthy all day. Didnt care.

-Cleaned out the Fridge. While discussing the mysterious bottle of honey that doesnt seem to stop leaking ( it was put in a baggie and continued to somehow get everywhere) in the pantry.

Entertaining on a scale from one to ten

So, in direct comparison to Jury Duty...my job is insanely exciting and wonderful.

Which is really lucky since I was just told that "you need to work all day if you dont mine, because I feel sick and I cant come in. "

That's ok...just sitting here eating wheat thins and cheese. Yum.
Besides, I need to catch up on my blog reading and emailing...missing a whole day of it yesterday really threw me off ;-)

In other news, there is no other news...stay tuned, I guess.

January 30, 2006

trials and tribulations

So, today I had jury duty....and I wasnt picked. thank goodness....$7 a day really does NOT pay rent in the real world. And while it was touch and go for a while ( I was in the top 20 and was seated on the front row-meaning, unless they have a good reason they pretty much pick you)...in the end I was sent home with my "thanks for serving your community".

Actually, I have mixed feelings about the whole affair. In a way I wish I was ON that jury because I feel like I would have been more diplomatic than say the women who got picked who said this:
" I really respect the justic system, I was an RN in the ER for years and I saw the things the polic officers would bring in...all drunk and high on drugs ( as she glances over at the defendant)."

Ooooh suuuuure...that kid in the chair over there is innocent till proven guilty....by a women who calls human beings "things".

I looked him up in my yearbook. He was a freshman when I was a senior-which makes him 18...barely.

So, since I was in the top 20 and on the front row...why didnt *I* get chosen, you might ask? Well, I answered all the questions truthfully...and when I found myself singled out standing up infront of 90 other "peers" ...I said in my most honest, truthful and respectful manner:

I HAVE lost faith in the justice system... And yes, if I WERE going to have a prejudice it would be against the state of texas not the defendent. At this point I do not know whether he is guilty, but I would have to think twice before saying he was...for it is truly a weighty matter to say a man is guilty.

Now, looking back on the day, I am even more saddened then when I went into it. I watched as the District Attorney played games with the jurors...I watched as she rolled her eyes every time the Defense Attorney asked for someone to speak up because he was obviously hard of hearing-and i dont think he was paying attention half the time......coming out of retirement to take on a kid who was "obviously guilty"....perfect.

No, I am sad about it all. I am sad that I was the only one who said what I said...or that my words obviously made no sense to a lot of people...

Another women, leaning over to the person next to her as I talked...whispering: "She's speaking up for the YOUTH of this country...my son hates cops too."

It was as if I was talking to a wall....and after all these years, thinking justice was blind...only to find out she's deaf.

January 29, 2006

Painful Happiness

Its been a hard day...had to pretty much fight it out all day...sometimes it happens. Sometimes going to church isnt easy.
At. All.
But, all the sermons were good, encouraging...food for the spirit. And in the end I feel like my prayers were answered and I was definitely Helped.

So, its funny...I got an email out of the blue from an old friend and I immediately felt that it was important to email this person...it was important that I gave them some encouragment...that I pray for them...which I immediately started to do... But, then after getting another great email from the person, I just COULDNT reply. It was awful, it was like getting tongue tied in front of fifty people...you feel the great NEED to speak but nothing comes out... I spent all weekend thinking about it and praying about it...practically PLEADING with God to give me something to say...and finally tonight I just sat down and decided to write whatever popped into my head...and low and behold something came!
Whew! Praise God! I cant tell you how much better I feel...like a great weight has been lifted...

It was actually a hard weekend all around...I felt like everything had to be "the hard way." Sometimes I, must admit, I get whiny and I think....whhhhy ooooh whhhhy cant things just be eeeeaaaassssyyyy???!!!!
Remember how I had that huge breakthrough last weekend? Well, it was as if this weekend it was 'testing the theory' weekend. I was pretty much tossed all the possible tests and scenerios in the book....and even now, looking back on the weekend I dont know how well I handled it all. But I did it. At least I didnt HIDE. Right? Hiding was part of my problem anyway...I know its hard to believe-I'm pretty good at hiding my fear once I'm actually OUT in the public eye-but most of the battle happens when I'm still in my room...when I'm sitting there thinking how very much I just want to crawl into bed and stay there where its "comfortable"...where its "safe"....

Oh, how we do love safety dont we!?

No one ever likes to do the things that hurt....the things that may "sting a little"....I wonder how much closer I would be to my Lord if didnt hide from pain as I do!? It has taken me so long to get this far...

Did anyone tell you that being a Christian would be painful? Because it is....it is beautifully painful. Thank God.

How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure,
That He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure.
How great the pain of searing loss, the Father turns His face away,
As wounds which mar the Chosen One bring many sons to glory.

Behold the man upon a cross, my sin upon His shoulders;
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers.
It was my sin that held Him there until it was accomplished;
His dying breath has brought me life-I know that it is finished.

I will not boast in anything, no gifts, no power, no wisdom;
But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection.
Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer,
But this I know with all my hear, His wounds have paid my ransom."

January 28, 2006

Poll Results

Well, I've gotten bored of our little poll....so on to something new, but before we do, that final tally:
The Question was "Why do you read this blog?"

10% of you read because, "Abigail's incredible writing style is so great it brings tears to my eyes."
( my personal favorite answer)

20% of you read because, "Laughing at Abigail brings much needed joy to my days."
( the answer that *I* personally gave...yes, I get to take my own polls, thank you very much.)

25% of you read because, "It is updated so very often-meaning I can procrastinate more often."
( the answer that I thought would get the most results.)

45% of you read because, "Abigail is SOOO HOOOT."
( The cop-out answer, for those of you that dont KNOW why you read...hehe.)

Of course, this proves several things...mostly that online polls teach us nothing...

but they are fun anyway, right?

grey, like the day...

blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. I totally woke up on the wrong side of the bed. So I am starting this post with a little whining:

It is all grey and wet and rainy outside...and its saturday...therefore PERFECT for sleeping in...but noooo...I didnt get to sleep in....instead I came to work, where I've been waiting for a very late doctor to arrive for the past hour. I mean, SUUUURE, I am being paid to sit here and type this post to you...but I DONT CARE. Sometimes, I just want to sleep in! BOOOOOO!
*end of whining*

Well! I guess its a good thing that I've been sitting here by myself for the past hour-giving me time to 'adjust my attitude' a bit. Maybe I'll even try to be "cheery" when my doctor arrives. maybe. ( so as I typed that the Doctor in question arrived...with Mcdonalds...so THAT'S where he's been! and he didnt even BRING me any! *humph!*)

okokok, seriously, I will try and be a little less grouchy....

On a different note: The poll seems to be going well...though I dont think I'll take it down until I get 25 people-because that only seems right-of course, do I have 25 people that READ this blog? hmmm...I dont really know....But, I do encourage you to vote if you havent yet. And at this very moment I am thinking up some new and exciting poll questions and possible answers! OOoooOooOOOooo fun.

In other news, my doctors Mcdonalds smells uncommonly good...and my own cup of green tea is looking uncommonly unsatisfying.

OK, so this entire post was written without me having had my usual cup of ____, can you guess with all the many hints in this post what I am missing so very much? And dont you agree I should never try to attempt working early in the morning without it again?

January 27, 2006


Yes, I am constantly thinking on how to improve your blog-reading pleasure and this is my newest brainstorm:

Since soooo many of you REFUSE to comment because you have to tell us all who you are...I've come up with a new exciting way for you to interact in the blogging world- anonymous polls! That's right! I will ask you a new question every few days and YOU can answer the multiple choice questions without anyone knowing who you are! ANNNND as an added bonus-since you already come back multiple times a day to read comments ( you dont? Well, you should...I know *I* do!) now you can also see the poll results!
Sweeeeet! I know you're going to LOVE this :-)
And if you ARE the commenting type, feel free to leave me poll question suggestions.

Thanks to my dear friend Justin for making this dream a reality.

Ghetto style...

I woke up to the sound of yelling this morning...it FELT like it was 4 o'clock in the morning...but turns out it was 2:30. meh, whatever, once I'm asleep it doesnt matter WHAT time it is! It was a bad time.

Unfortunately(?) the yelling wasnt coming from Formally Known as Evil Neighbor's apartment-because, no matter HOW far I've come in my forgivness and loving ones neighbor ways...it would have been kinda satisfying to call the police on her. Anyway, instead, the yelling was coming from my OTHER neighbors...I share a bedroom wall with them...and last night I shared in their yelling conversation as well. It was seriously THAT loud-and it went on for HOURS.
What I deduced from what I could hear:
A. A women was very very angry about something.
B. Said women had an incredible set of lungs.
C. The anger did not subside though it would take a breather for several minutes every now and then-allowing me to fall back asleep and then be awakened allll ooooover again.

But, even though I had this little incident-I am suprisingly awake and with it today. Probably because I had coffee with Trinity this morning. A nice way to start the day. (Have to soak in as much Trinity and James time as possible because pretty soon they will be James, Trinity and Baby...so crazy! Yet oh-so-exciting. )

Plus...its FRIDAY! *whew* I cant tell you how HAPPY I am about this fact, and while I am working tomorrow I get Sunday off-which is far more important to me than Saturdays anyway.

Plus...Dr.Happy bought Dee and I lunch-wooooo! that man lives through his stomache and every so often ( at least once a week) he will use Dee and I as an excuse to eat out for lunch instead of eating the salads his poor wife tries in vain to get him to eat.

January 26, 2006

"Reading Room, this is Abbey!"

So, close your eyes and imagine me lounging in front of the T.V. letting my brain "rest" while I watch a DVD...and then the phone rings...and I answer it....
Let me just tell you-it is REEEEALLY amazing that I dont just blurt out "Reading Room, this is Abbey!" without thinking, since I say it a million times a day...in fact, today ( starting now, at 10:23) I am going to COUNT how many times I say it.
Somethings just are imbedded in your subconscious...

Hey, so how's everyones day going? I havent blogged this early in a while! I guess its just one of those days where I am in a more "talkative" mood. Something I havent really been in a while-who knows why? I guess I've had a lot on my mind-you know, personal details-the stuff we so carefully avoid...( ooooh maaaan! I just realized I had started to quote a movie without realizing it! hahaha!)

Anyway, we all know its not true about the "personal details"...I am constantly sharing toomuchinformation with my readers...But, amazingly enough there ARE some things I dont write about! HA! Imagine that!!!!
Actually, I think the reason for the lackluster-take on blogging this week is that I realized just that...words are often not enough.

Example: Most of the time, during my quiet times I write down just about EVERY THING. Its almost like I really cant sort things out well enough in my head-I have to write it down for it to stick-or at least that's how I feel sometimes.
BUT, there are somethings that are too deep for words...too personal even for a personal journal. But, even as I write this I think-is that actually true? I think of some of my favorite authors and I think about how BEAUTIFULLY they express the very whispers in my soul...they put words to very personal feelings...infact, as I read their words I say out loud, "YES! That's EXACTLY how it is!!!"
I guess you could say that is why I love them so much...they are like translators of the deepest communications with God.
I think that type of translating is truly a Gift from God, and as I see how very often I fail at being able to do it on my own-I am more and more thankful for those with the gift...how they have helped and encouraged my spiritual life....how they have put the most important of experiences into words for me!

January 25, 2006


So today I spent the whole day being a nurse and a maid...both went rather well...though I do have a killer-as headache going on here...

The "nurse" part was taking care of my sister after her routine procedure (doesnt that sound very official of me?)...she is an excellent patient-in fact, I did very little "caregiving" at all...and mostly filled up her cup with more juice...and went out and got her food and helped her watch movies...yeah, being a nurse is a tough life but somebodies got to do it. ;-)

The maid part was pretty awful, because for once I reeeeeally didnt want to clean the apartment-I've been putting it off for days-hoping that the housecleaning fairies would do it for me-but, alas, they didnt...and let me just tell you...it was gross...and I wasnt in the mood...and the ONLY thing that can make cleaning an apartment better isssssss....waaaait foooor itttttt....NEW CLEANING SUPPLIES! That's right!!!! I went out and bought possibly the BEST Swiffer dry/wet mop/broom....all you have to do is put on these amazing little cloths...clever dry ones that pick up the tiniest bits of dust...and then marvelous wet ones that MOP your floor without all the nastiness that is so often involved in regular mopping ( the gross dirt from the last time you mopped-still stuck in the mop....the inevitable spilling of water everywhere-possibly just when I do it but whatever...etc etc.) Anyway, I could rave on about my Swiffer mop/broom for days but instead I'll continue on with my AMAZING tolietbowl cleaner...these wonderful disposable brushes that you clip onto a long handle...you scrub the toliet with them..and when you are through you just push a button and the brush drops into the toliet where it dissolves...or gets flushed away which every you decide...oooooh! it is magic....and you, the cleaner...do not have to take a dripping brush out of a toliet and stash it somewhere...NO! NEVER AGAIN!!!!
Once again...I could go on for days...but instead I'll tell you about my "magic eraser" spunge that magically cleans away all scum in the bathtub/shower in practically two swips....At first I laughed at the name "magic eraser"...but now...now I do not doubt its powers....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! the power of Clean!


ohmygoodness...I just spent an entire paragraph discussing the joys of cleaning products! Its official....I am a freak...

January 24, 2006

Lord of the Ring Goodness, Part 3ish

"And here is your brooch, Pippin, " said Aragorn. "I have kept it safe, for it is a very precious thing."
"I know," said Pippin. "It was a wrench to let it go; but what else could I do?"
"Nothing else," answered Aragorn. "One who cannot cast away treasure at need is in fetters. You did rightly."

"It seems almost peacful now, after all the turmoil. And safer too, somehow, since Gandalf came back. I could sleep!"

"I will come," said Gimli. "I wish to see (Saruman) and learn if he really looks like you ( Gandalf)."
"And how will you learn that, Master Dwarf?" said Gandalf." Saruman could look like me in your eyes, if it suited his purpose with you. And are you yet wise enough to detect all his counterfeits? Well, we shall see.."


"Those who listen unwarily to the ( voice of Saruman) could seldom report the words that they heard; and if they did, they wondered, for little power remained in them. Mostly they remembered only that it was a delight to hear the voice speaking, all that it said seemed wise and reasonable, and desire awoke in them by swift agreement to seem wise themselves."

"You are a liar, Saruman, and a corrupter of men's hearts. You hold out your hand to me, and I perceive only a finger of the claw of Mordor, Cruel and cold!....A lesser son of great sires am I, but I do not need to lick your fingers. Turn elsewhither. But I fear your voice has lost its charm."

"So great was the power that Saruman exerted in this last effort that none that stood withinin hearing were unmoved...Even in the mind of Theoden the thought took shape, like a shadow of doubt: '(Gandalf) will betray us; he will go-we shall be lost.'
-Then Gandalf laughed. The fantasy vanished like a puff of smoke."

"Gandalf has grown, or something. He can be both kinder and more alarming, merrier and more solemn than before, I think. He has changed, but we have not had a chance to see how much."


"When have I been hasty or unwary, who have waited and prepared for so many long years?' said Aragorn.
"Never yet. Do not then stumble at the end of the road." said Gandalf.

a reallygood post

I've been thinking about it all day long: sometime to write...anything at all, but preferably sometime interesting and entertaining for the MASSIVE READERSHIP OF THIS BLOG ( seriously, the numbers are dropping like the F-bomb on HBO)to find themselves glued to in the middle of the day ( at first I spelled "glued" like "glewed" which, obviously, looked really wrong), ignoring their work and their constant ringing telephones or anyone who might be trying to talk to them, instead, intently focused on my amazing storytelling abilities...

So, I just read over that paragraph and I had to change "massive readers of this blog" to "massive readership" because well, since when do I comment about your physical appearance, dear blog-reader? I shant start today that is fOUR-SHORE!

Anyway, I sadly couldnt think of anything extremely timely or interesting to share with you-which is sad isnt it? But, instead of a well-formed, well-thought-out monologue on the delights of Abigail's Day...how about just random thoughts? HOW ABOUT THAT INSTEAD?! *sigh* It is the best I can do since its almost three o'clock and nothing has happened yet...

My apartment complex is becoming increasingly ghetto, and the latest diminstration of that is, instead of putting in a four-digit code to get into our beloved "gated community" , you must find the two wires sticking out of the box next to the gate and "stick them together"...then the gates open. Yes, its true.

There needs to be a website devoted to keeping track of all "80s child stars" and putting up pictures of them now...I would totally go to that website.

I watched the movie
Ocean's Twelve yesterday because I bought the DVD for four dollars...I STILL dont really understand the plot-I even went to the imdb.com website for some insight and they didnt help me at all...

My Aunt Donnave got me hooked on Java Jack's Vanilla Lattes with Cinnamon sprinkled on top while she was here, when I woke up this morning the only thing that got me out of bed was the idea of getting one before work.

One of my favorite things to do is laugh-and my sister and I pride ourselves of laughing "out loud" when we find things funny...its suprising how many people do not practice this method of laughing...I feel sad for them. But, on that note a lady just came into the reading room and she had the greatest giggle ever. I feel confident that everytime she giggles like that people smile. I aspire to be like that...

January 23, 2006

M is for Monday

This morning my alarm pushed me up out of the deepest, greatest sleep ever...I seriously put water on to boil ( for my coffee) whilest I was still asleep and actually awoke while I was brushing my teeth. Scary. Or IS it? I mean, it would be awesome if I could train myself to sleep while doing all my morning activities and set an alarm at the front door to wake me up as I grab my car keys...yes, that would add a good fifteen minutes to my sleep schedule.

I really dont want to be at work today, I feel very lazy.

January 22, 2006

Today, the burden will be cast off...

I had a much needed talk with my Aunt Donnave tonight. As we talked, so much came to light....clear as the sun on a cloudless day....And while I came home and wrote it all down ( as I do with all important things...who can sleep in until its on paper!), and while all the right words have been said-and in a way I know it is already finished in the sight of God...and that my wounds are healed, the victory is His, the lies have been cast down, the bonds broken...truly, it is finished-yet even though I know that, I see that I have probably only scratched the surface of the lies I have believed over the years, luckily with the Lord it is a great delight to the Believer....to be able to, TRULY, leave it in His hands...

"He is like a refiner's fire and like a launder's soap. He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver." ~Mal 3:2

"...therefore strengthen the hands which hand down and the feeble knees." ~Heb12:12

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."~Rom 5:3-5

Yes, it came with such delight tonight when I realized that this burden that I've lived under since I can remember...that I dont have to live under it anymore! I know! You would think I would have realized this a long time ago, right? But, NO!
I actually felt joy in my heart when I saw that this "wasnt normal" that that normal was possible....I mean, I have to admit it still seems impossible to NOT have that fear accompanying me everyday...but I know that the impossible is possible with my God.
Wow, my faith just wasnt big enough! How sobering to realize I let God fix the "fixable" things in my life...but not the tough stuff....because it was tough....but, nope...I WANT it fixed....i dont want to live with this anymore....that's all I can say now-because that's about all Iunderstand of the situation.
But I will say this

Praise be to the Lord God, for all that He does is Just and Good....

January 20, 2006

ugg....I feel fat!

hehehe...maaaan! I ate the best foods today, seriously, I feel like I spent the whole day eating ( not a bad thing!) :

Sushi....mmmmmmmm! Sushi Ya's House Roll rocks my world-and yes, that is the place where Katie and I made a huge spectical of ourselves almost a year ago ( seriously! Was it THAT LONG ago!?)...luckily, I was with Paul and he's all buddy-buddy with Jim ( the owner and the guy that yelled at Katie)....so I may be working my way back into good graces..

after just a few hours...

Italian food....mmmmmm! Went to Union Cafe with the family ( Aunty D. is HERE!!!! yaaaaaay! It soooo great having her here, she is truly a kindred spirit.) and I had the best tortollini ( is that how you spell it?!) and it was fantastic. Finished the night with dessert and I am STUFFED.

I need some water...I'm thirsty...nighty night!

Mush for brains...

You would NEVER know that I slept 14 hours yesterday from the way I'm feeling at this moment in time. I really dont want to be at work-though, I will grant that the indepth, thirty minute chat about eating and food that I just had with one of my doctors WAS fascinating. :-P

Last night I watched the movie Serenity, and while at times I felt like I was evesdropping on some crazy nerd-fest...I would be lying if I said I didnt totally enjoy this movie. I was suprised at how I got into it! And I may and I stress the may...try to track down the DVDs of Firefly ( which is the TV show the movie was based on for those that didnt know)and give them a go one of these days when I'm lacking something else to do ;-)
How's that for a movie plug? heh.

Anywho, I am stuck here at work until 12:30 *whimper*....this week has just been tooooo long for my liking.

January 19, 2006

Beauty Sleep

My blinds broke in my bed room...now they are frozen in time facing the wrong way-so that the sun can sneak in through the slits at very early hours. Its annoying, but I guess I can live with it.
However, last night I was feeling rather sickish ( as I always seem to right before my day off) so I took the opportunity to be a diva and put on one of those eye mask things which block out all forms of light....which is how I slept till 12 noon...and then, took some migrane medicane ( my head was killing me) and slept until 3.
Seriously, if that thing about beauty sleep was true I would be a knockout by now...instead I'm looking a bit rough. ;-)

Heading to the video store now...

January 18, 2006

the fiveoclock news ( the morning version)

Five am this morning I got the greatest, most exciting news! Penny was accepted to Nursing school in Sydney!! :-)
Of course, I dont actually remember if I told Penny congraduations or not...or if I even portrayed how excited I really was...I have a good feeling I answered the phone in my sleep and woke up as she said the words " I got into Sydney."
Anyway, I woke again when my alarm went off at seven and did the appropriate happy dance THEN, instead of at five. hehehe.

I gotta say, I feel pretty special that my friends would call me-day or night-to share happy/sad/exciting/important news with me. I love that.

Anyway, I now have another friend in Australia! Oh, I cant tell you what an answer to prayer this is for Penny and I am SO SO excited for her. If there was ever a person who will make the perfect nurse it is Penny. And I feel that I am truly an "expert" of sorts, since I work in the medical field everyday and see the need for Godly, talented women like Penny in this profession!

In other news, I bought new pens...I was actually writing in my journal a few weeks back and three pens ran out of ink in the space of a journal entry, how is that possible? I guess, this means I really do give every pen equal writing-time. ;-)
New pens give me SUCH a thrill...yes, small joys are what make the day.

January 17, 2006

A loveletter to the day...

-Waking up without an alarm.

-Doing my morning devotionals while still in bed.

-Watching the "highlights" of Return of the King and crying at that beautiful scene where Aragorn says to the hobbits, "You bow to no one." Seriously, does it to me EVERY time!

-Chocolate Kisses and goldfish cheese crackers-eaten together, the perfect salty-sweet combo.

-Going to work with good praise songs in your head.

-Having both doctors be in a good mood at the same time.


January 16, 2006

Ah, plans...

hehehe...So I had such big plans for this afternoon-mostly revolving around a well timed nap...but unfortunately that was not to be. I ended up working all day. Lucky for me I had my new favorite number puzzle, Sudoka, to keep me busy for HOURS ( I seriously stink at it!) and the day went by relatively fast!

But, because of the constant change in schedule I have turned off my cell phone and I am PLANNING to sleep in and then read in bed for several hours before going to work tomorrow! Wish me luck...hehe. Of course, at ANY moment someone could call me into work with another family emergency, but I am pretty clever and that is why i turned my cell phone off...My philosophy is...at least make it HARD to get a hold of me!

Speaking of phones, Katie and I got the STRANGEST message from this man at a law firm in the Netherlands who wants "Alice" to call him back immediately. I guess "Hello, you've reached Katie and Abigail, leave us a message" wasnt clear enough for him....

In other news, I've been dwelling a great deal on the great "mass" of writing I do everyday on this blog and whether or not it is very odd, indeed, that I post so very very often...and yet I STILL write insanely long emails to people...as well as write in my journal....I have a strange suspicion that if you added up the hours in the day where I am writing or composing some sort of writing in my head- it was be a VAST majority of the day. Not that there is anything wrong with that. No, not at all...its just that....is this PRODUCTIVE? I mean, I am no where to even starting on my book...maybe I am not suppose to write one...maybe I'm a "weekday" writer and not your "sunday" special kind of writer...meaning maybe I'm just not cut out for book form...maybe I'm your everyday wears kinda girl-the kind that is good in the informal setting of your inbox and your blog rolls...but not your bookshelf.
Just some thoughts...

The after effects...

of my migrane medicine is that it has CAFFINE in it...and this is why I am WIDE awake at 12:15am. meh.

So, until my sleepy meds kick in....

How long, O Lord? Wilt Thou forget me forever?
How long wilt Thou hide Thy face from me?
How long shall I take counsel in my soul,
Having sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me,
O Lord, my God;
Enlighten my eyes, lest I sleep
the sleep of death,
Lest my enemy say, "I have overcome him,"
Lest my adversaries rejoice when I am shaken.

But I have trusted in Thy lovingkindness,
My heart shall rejoice in Thy Salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
Because He has dealt bountifully with me. ~Ps 13:1-6

...tonight I had a phone conversation with a friend...and later I read this in my daily bible reading....Somehow that conversation and this Psalm became one-and I am truly encouraged to know that the Lord is in ALL situations.
Why do I find it so hard to pray for victory over death, depression, and adversaries of every shape and size?...when HERE in the very word of God I am given Blessed Assurance that there is just that...Victory...waiting...it is already ours.
I will rejoice in that promise tonight. And I ask for Help to pray harder....Oh, how easily do I faulter...how easily do I fail to pray as I should!

January 14, 2006

a REAL saturday!

First off, I have to wish Paul and Thomas both a happy birthday....best wishes and all the good stuff...

Actually, I just got back from a little Thomas- inspired gathering, which was good fun...I gave Thomas a garden gnome that I painted myself...I was quite proud of it actually, though my painting skills probably need a little work. ;-)

I came home to all of the mess I had left out being magically put away by my very favorite apartment fairy...yaaaaay! for great roommates! Seriously it MADE my night! :-)

I know I told everyone to go get the Mikeschair CD off of itunes the other day, but just in case that was "too much for you"...maybe you should just get my favorite song...which is "My Lovely"...I adore this song...I am having to stop myself from listening to it on repeat.

My mom asked my why i was "all dressed up" today, and I realized she probably said that because she was seeing me with makeup for the first time in weeks. ooops. I need to make more of an effort. OR HOW WILL I EVER GET MYSELF A MAN!?!
aaaahahahah! ( that was a joke). But, seriously, as more and more of my friends get married...and have CHILDREN...I must remind myself more and more how very happy I am in all of my singleness glory- I mean, getting a boyfriend just because "everyone else is doing it"...reeeeally isnt a good enough reason for me :-)

Thanks to all of my "blog lurkers" for coming clean...dont you feel better?! hehehe...And for all of those who HAVENT revealed yourself yet...you'll sleep better, loose weight, find twenty dollars on the ground, and all your wishes will come true if you just comment today!

January 13, 2006


Its Friday the 13th my dear friends! hehehe...I actually think I would have gotten through the whole day without putting that together if the girl I worked with hadnt gotten all riled up about it a minute ago. :-P
So, what bad luck has befallen me thus far, you ask? Weeeelll..I DID spill coke on myself this morning, but that's partically and everyday occurance so that shouldnt really count. Besides, I feel like that fact that it is "friday" overrules any bad luck the number "13" might bring about.

In other news, because I lacked something to do, I found a Sudoka puzzle online...and started to figure it out...two hours later...and I am NO WHERE to getting it. Meh. HAHAHAHA!

On a more serious note, this morning when I was doing my morning quiet time...and, yes, Aunty D...I DO read My Utmost for His Highesttoo! I felt ultra guilty about how much I give out advice, its seems like EVERY day I have something to tell someone...I mean, I just really hate how often I feel like I feel 'called' to tell people to get with the programme or something! I mean, it never fails that after I give the advice or give the person my opinion I IMMEDIATELY want to take it back, I seriously spend the next day and a half wrestling with whatever I said...wondering if I did the right thing, etc. etc.
I'm just SO tired of having to fight it all. This has to mean I am doing the wrong thing by opening my mouth, right? I mean, surely this is not the way it should be?!
*sigh* I am tempted to swear off giving any advice...unless its in the form of encouragment and happy words for a LOOOONG TIMMMMME...but I know, you can never make such widespread statements when it comes to God...but what I DO think is in order is some serious prayer about this. One thing I feel incredibly convicted about is never to speak in my OWN wisdome and knowledge, and i feel that maybe I need to pray on things longer before I say them or something? meh...it such a hard thing.

January 12, 2006

I would have skipped class today.

Man! I am sooooo tiiiiirreeeeed. I dont even know why! I got a good seven hours of sleep last night, which isnt the perfect "eight" but its close, right? meh!

My normal oversized mug of coffee didnt even put a dent in my sleepy suit. I mean, I am so tired I was standing over one of my doctors waiting for him to do who knows what...and all I wanted to do was sit down.
I cant even STAND without being tired?!

Yes, today made me wish I was still a student, and the I would have skipped my first lecture...or...If I had been a "good girl" I would have gone to that lecture and then come straight home to take a nap.
ahhhh! those were the days!
wow. I wasnt a very good student was I?

I've been thinking about that lately. It seems like I am surrounded by friends who are about to go for their masters...or honors degree or something along those over-achieving-lines. But, it seems now adays that a Masters is the new Bachelors...to be anyone, these days, you need to have one.
Well, IM SORRY...I just dont feel called to do it! I am a social butterfly who likes to read...and let me just say, I can read and write for FREE.

I said that last paragraph for myself...not really for you, i need to remind myself not to compare my own life to the lives of those around me. I need to be happy with THIS...my life.

I just deleted a whole rant I had about friendships...I realized I am NOT in the right frame of mind to think rationally at the moment and I would have just said something stupid. I just had a M girl get all rude and in my face about something that doesnt even apply to me at all. Sometimes this job isnt cool.

January 11, 2006

making up a moment

So, first off, I got a really interesting/random email from a old friend of the family giving me a link to a band...
so, I havent seen this guy, Jesse ( he's in the band) , since...well, probably high school...and we havent probably talked since we were like, seven....so Its always delightful to find out that a person you "sorta" know has turned into a totally talented muscian! sweeeet! I just bought the cd on itunes...and I suggest you do the same! I am always always looking for new christian artists that have something "different" about them. And these guys definitely fit the bill!
Plus, when they get famous I can say...hey, I sorta kinda know the violinist ;-)

In other news,
my mother has gotten into the habit of "making up moments." I mean, sure she's always been good at making up FACTS and telling them to you with such delivery that you really and truly believe that she KNOWS things...but its gotten worse, she actually CONVINCED me that she had given me a particular important document that i had intrusted into her care by giving SUCH specific details about the exchange that I started to doubt my own personal sanity- I mean, afterall...she remember EXACTLY where we were standing when she gave it to me, and what she said when she did it...I mean, you cant make this stuff up can you!?
Yes, in fact you can...after pleading with her to "check again" ....she did in fact, still have the document in question.
All I have to say is, I really hope I inherited my mothers amazing imagination...maybe then I can write the next big piece of fiction since Harry Potter (sic).

Speaking of which, I am soooo struggling with my writing! I mean, I really DO feel like I am suppose to be writing...but God just hasnt given me the WHAT...yet, I mean...I've got the WHY...and HOW ( well, sort of...I know it will probably entail a lot of coffee) ..and the WHERE ( with a laptop this means just about anywhere)....but oooooh...that WHAT is really getting in the way.

Cool compliment of the day: Talked to Aunty D on the phone and she said I make the most mundane boring things fun and exciting....ahhh....yessssss.....laundry....housecleaning....mindnumbing work....you've never looked so good :-)

*your* New Years Resolution!

This week is National Delurking Week! So, if YOU are a lurker on this blog...as in, you've never made a comment before...take this as your personal invitation to make yourself known with a little "Hi, how's it going?" comment of your own! Woooo

For more information on Delurking Week

January 10, 2006

I want to go shopping.

Have you ever heard that saying about food cravings? That if you STILL have the craving, say, thirty minutes later...well, then you can go ahead and eat whatever it is, because your body actually NEEDS it and its not because you're bored or something?
Well, that's probably a load of rubbish...but I always liked it. And of course, I ended up being able to eat lots of good things because, well, my body is pretty singleminded...and when I get something in my head...I dont let it go.
hahaha. And I'm pretty sure I didnt need all that pizza ;-)

Anyway, along the same lines...It has been several weeks now that I've been reeeeally wanting to go shopping. You know, the GOOD kind of shopping where you set aside a WHOLE day...and you go to a BIG mall...and you buy lots of wonderful things...and you go home feeling satisfied and poor.
Yeeeessssss....At first i had several problems, the first being that I had NO ONE to go with!
Sure, I've got lots of fantastic friends, but one thing about the whole-day-shopping-adventure is that you have to go with someone who is EQUALLY excited about the event as you. Or, they will end up dragging you down ( In the same way, make sure you never go with someone who is MORE excited than you...or they will tire you out for sure! and everyone will end up being grumpy). Yes, shopping is one of those actions you must do with someone "equally yoked". So, I couldnt find anyone who was in the same "shopping place" as I was...but then, last week I was talking to some high school girls from my church and I realized-any high school girl worth her salt ( and who has some babysitting money) is always willing to make a day of it. So, I had answered my problem.
Buuuut, then the next problem presented itself: TIME. To fully quinch my thirst for a shopping-adventure..I needed a WHOLE day ( and preferably a day AFTER to recooperate)...yet, when...oh...WHEN am I going to find such a day?!

January 09, 2006

More than I ever thought...

Tonight some things came together in my heart, in my spirit, things that have been coming together for days...years. My whole life.
I know there is no going back now, there is no returning. I am in...I am in.

A brother in Christ said tonight: "Sometimes there are things you dont have to go home and pray about, you dont have to go home and think about. From the first time I heard someone say, "there is something going on, there is something happening here ( in the Spirit)." I knew in my heart. I was in. I was completely in. I would wake up and pray for this every single day."

what were they thinking?

Last night I watched this movie with Katie and Matt: Trolls 2

There are so many things to say about this movie-but I think all I will say is that:
1. While the name is "trolls 2" it is, infact, a movie about Goblins.

2. It is one of the bottom 100 worst movies...ever( according to both International Movie Database, and myself). Which has, sadly never been on Mystery Science Theatre 3000
3. 1990 was a bad year for many things: clothes, music, makeup ...all of which where used to full capacity in this movie.

4. To fully enjoy this movie you must have ready access to the remote: so you can pause on particularly ackward moments...where you can actually SEE the camera men in reflections etc. So you can rewind even worse moments to fully appreciate the badness again and again. So you can stop, to laugh. A lot.

5. This movie will encourage you in your acting career, since it can only be said...ANYONE could read lines more enthusiastically and with better results than these people.

I do not recommend you spend any money on this movie to rent or buy it...but you can borrow it anytime you want...if you have, you know, some time to waste.
But if you dont have the kind of time I have...here...go read the classic quotes

January 08, 2006

strong tower

My strength , my shield-my heart trust in Him, my Lord my King, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song. Ps 28:7

For the Lord gives wisdom, from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice, and He preserves the way of His godly ones. Then you will decern righteousness and justice and equity and every good course. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; discretion will guard you, understanding will watch over you, to deliver you from the way of evil... Prov 2:6-12

run forest.

So, yesterday was a BEAUTIFUL day in Nacogdoches, Texas... I mean, nevermind it was suppose to be winter... it was a perfect spring day.
To celebrate the weather I decided to go for a run.... My newly charged up ipod and I headed out from Oakgrove cemetery, down Lanana, down Logans Port and into Pecan Park...and then we came back. It was fantastic really, and there are very few times a year that I enjoy running outside...I am just toooo picky when it comes to tempature and wind and all sorts of other factors. HOWEVER, this morning I woke up to veeeery sore legs. WHAT? I say to myself, arent I in-shape from working out three times a week, every week?! turns out, veeeeery DIFFERENT cup of tea. hehehe.
I guess the weather wasnt the only thing keeping me from running all these months!

January 07, 2006

the whispers in my spirit...

Ps 24:7-10
7 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
be lifted up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.

8 Who is this King of glory?
The LORD strong and mighty,
the LORD mighty in battle.

9 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
lift them up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.

10 Who is he, this King of glory?
The LORD Almighty—
he is the King of glory.

Did you know that these verses above ALL OTHERS runs through my head quite frequently? They never ever fail to bring encouragment...but above all they bring DESIRE. I DESIRE that for today. I desire that for the Church. We need the gates to open, we need the Lord to come in...we needOne mighty in battle...we need the Lord Almighty.

So, strangely, Cutting Edge Prayer...and Dunedin Elim's prayer meetings have been heavy on my heart this past week...I actually sent Pastor Andrew an email tonight...it didnt really say too much, I felt sort of silly about it actually I havent talked to anyone from Elim, minus CE people, in over a year...but seriously, it was weighing on me...and I felt like maybe they needed encouragment, knowing that someone was praying for them...encouraging them to PRAY!!!! I still feel stupid.
But, I guess it sort of follows what I said I would do this year...send emails even if they didnt make sense if I felt like I should! heheh...I just didnt think THIS would be what I meant by that!
I need to find out who is incharge of CE prayer in this coming year......
Anyway, its odd...that all of a sudden this would become such a burden.

Talked my dear Penny tonight...she is a delight to my heart...she gave me the greatest idea for my "UTIMATE GOD DREAM"...you know the one, the one about the house where everyone can come and stay....
it was a fantastic idea.
She'll get credit when I get to put it into action :-)


So, I bet everyone is wondering what I did last night since I wasnt doing anything on the internet...

I cleaned out my sock drawer...yup.
Seriously...I did.

oh, and I also uploaded some music to my ipod, which took an annoyingly long time because my computer gets slower by the day. meh.

Isnt my life FASCINATING!?

January 06, 2006

the continuing saga...

so, I know all of you are DYING to know why *i* think Evil Neighbor had a huge fit and then drove 100 miles an hour away the other night...weeeeeellll....today when I got home there were two blue balloons tied to her door....and since her daughter was giant-preggers just yesterday, I can only use my amazing deduction skills to say that...the other night was a FALSE BABY ALARM. Ah yes, and i can only hope that now that there*is* a baby to distract Evil Neighbor she will be much much happier.

PS. I must admit, now that I've been praying for Evil Neighbor, I dont even really dislike her as much...I even want her to be happy...and while her dog is still possibly the most annoying creature on the face of the earth, I almost feel bad that we've named Evil Neighbor, Evil Neighbor...of course, we cant change it now....but, lets just think of it as more of a....oooooh....term of endearment. ;-)

Terms of Endearment...I heard that was a horrible movie.

Mornings and Evenings

So, I did a bit of soul searching last night...about various things-mostly my quiet times.
Lately, I've had the strangest combination of really wanting to sit down and have that time with God...really looking forward to that time of day...and then...then just going through the motions once I get there. Very frustrating.

Along this strand of thought, I've made a few decisions.
First of all, one of them is a decision I made a few days ago that I never followed through on. Even though I said I was going to stay off the internet at night..i didnt actually DO that...well, I sort of did, but I continued to get on MSN to chat with dear friends. It was really hard for me to let that go-I MISS these people! I LOVE these people, and talking to them, in any form, is important to me. Yet, I really felt convicted last night about letting that go...I mean, its not like I can never get on MSN...its just I need to stop it being a regular evening habit.
Personal Note to the happy few I usually talk to on MSN. I will truly miss talking to you, and i would love to get emails from you instead...I will even reply, and if you would like I'll even make an MSN date with you, if you'll give me a specific time you'll be online-thus cutting back on the "hanging around time" online.

OK, my other decision is a lot more exciting...and I need your input, I spend sooo much time on the computer at work, and usually its looking up meaningless facts and reading stupid yahoo gossip or depressing news...soooo...I've decided to add an online devotional to the mix. There are so many out there, and I know i could probably try a few out and weed through the muck, but I thought I'd ask those of you that know a thing or two about them to give me any feedback, suggestions, warnings you might have! Looking forward to hearing from you!


In other news, I am glad its friday...only...five more days until my day off. Woo.
Last night I helped my sister flip her mattress...we had just spent a good portion of the evening watching Friends so we kept making allusions to the show...which made the process a lot harder since I loose all lifting ability when I'm laughing.

My 2006 calendar at work has this staring at me all day. I havent fully decided if I like it...his expression is so sad or maybe he's just aloof, worried, snobby, nervous??

January 05, 2006

My Dear Friend Kristy...

Oh, yes, I am such a cheater! So, maybe you remember way far back ( to November) when I did a particular tribute to some of my dear ones...and obviously there were not enough days in the year....oh no! not even close...and in fact, sadly because of my slack nature I actually skipped days...horrible I know! But, all along I had the general plan to return to some of the dear ones who I was not able to mention...so that I might fulfill my NEED to write about them.

Today is my friend Kristy's Birthday.
And in her honor, I will write about how very important she has been in my life.

Kristy has been a source of joy in my life. The radiating kind of joy, the kind that warms the heart is winter.
"joy in the morning" to be more exact ( for she is, afterall, very much a morning person). Some of my most favorite memories of my time in Dunedin revolve around a cup of coffee with Kristy, for she is truly a friend who knows how to have a good chat over a latte. Those chats were incredibly important in all the things I did in my time in Dunedin...so many of the things God had me to do, He also gave Kristy to help me with them. For she encouraged and shared in my desire to develop the relationships among the girls in Cutting Edge during my second year and together we started the "girls bible study"...she was also my most helpful advisor when I first became a life group leader...she helped me when I took on the crazy task of writing the Cutting Edge News Letter....and while it sounds like I am giving a reference list or something...ultimately, Kristy is the perfect helper to a friend in need. For she was not only a great giver of practical help-always, always there to lend a hand...she was also the perfect giver of emotional help...for she knew how to cry with a person, and laugh with a person as though the pains and joys of others were truly her own. Kristy's heart shone through in all she did. And I learned so much about finding my passions by watching Kristy seek her own.
She also taught me a lot about love. Together we went through one of the funniest ( well, NOW it seems funny), dramatic "love-affairs" together ...and looking back, I see how cleverly and graciously the Lord placed us together to get through that time with Faith and Love intact.
Her friendship helped me through one of THE toughest things I've ever done. I spent my last month in New Zealand with Kristy, and I know that was not a light coincidence. Together we faced the same sadness, the same fears, the same anger and doubts about leaving ( all at various times...) and the same wonderful memories. It was so wonderful to have someone going through that with me. When it could have been such a lonely time the Lord send a friend.
When I returned to the States, Kristy was a continual encouragment to me as we somehow sorted out our huge life changes, once again she was my helper during that rough time...and truly a gift from God.
Yes, in so many ways the Lord showed me more about myself and more about Him through my friendship with Kristy. It is a beautiful thing when you can see how the paths of two people can come together that they may walk beside each other for a while. Kristy, is truly one of my dearest friends for whom I am grateful to have walked beside. I know that wherever she is, whatever she is doing-the Joy of the Lord will be there too, I only hope our paths overlap again from time to time....

January 04, 2006



Just now...

I heard running back and forth coming from somewhere in my apartment building, I thought it was my neighbors next door...and I really thought Evil Neighbor was going to blame it on me...but THEN...turns out, I think it WAS Evil Neighbor because I hear very loud talking and such happening downstairs and then I go to my window into to see Evil Neighbor RUN ( disabled my foot) to her car and PEEL out of the place ( i think there was someone else with her (...seriously, her tires were screching...and now, now her dog is barking like CRAZY.
To tell you the truth, I kind of hope nothings wrong...( can you believe I am WORRYING about Evil Neighbor now?!!?!)
I dont know what to think....

Its a REALLY good thing I just made myself the BEST mix CD ever to drown out the crazy ( and the dog barking).

ewwwww! gross.

So, I came home tonight and took some medicine. I am afraid I am getting a HINT of a sore throat...which, I am sure wont be around in the morning so I wouldnt even mention it, except that it brings me to some "interesting" ( as in its about my very mundane life..which is why you read this blog, right?) news:
I've developed a new very strange fascination with hand sanitizers.
SERIOUS, I am a HUGE fan of Purell with Aloe and vitimin E especially since all of YOU dear people said the reason I was getting sick all the time, was because I worked in a hospital.
Duh. I know! But, even though I realized my risk...I started to actually THINK about how many of the germs were reaching me...and well, it was enough to disgust anyone.
So, I went out and bought my very own hand sanitizer that sits by my computer at work...I put it on all the time, and while I've only had it around for two weeks or so now...I have a feeling it may take the place of chapstick as my latest addiction!
I CANT stop putting the stuff on! Its so cool how it just evaporates on your hands...taking 99.9% of germs with it...and leaving a sort of aloe/alcohol smell behind...delighful ;-)

But, this evening I was in the car...at Sonic and I was about to take a bite out of my burger when I thought..."OH NO! I just handled all of my change to pay for this....and now i am going to eat?! Ewwwww! Gross!"

Now, some of you may find this a very valid and normal thought...but let me just say, I've NEVER been this obsessed with clean hands! I mean, sure I wash my hands when a sink is available...but I am not one of those go out of my way for cleanliness...in fact, I've always felt that that was ok, since people lived for hundreds of thousands of years with a MUCH less level of cleanliness right? And they were ok ( minus the plagues and such....heh)...so a few little germs here and there werent going to kill me. In fact, I went so far as to say they probably made me stronger....
But, now....now, I've decided they may not kill me...but they could SURE make my life miserable-which is the major difference. And probably why i waited till I got home to eat my hamburger...
And yet....even after all that cleaning and washing I STILL have a sore throat. What's up with THAT?!

January 03, 2006

The missing month...

So, I just finished backing up my blog to my external harddrive. It turns out I was a good 6,000 words short of last years blog...but then, March is completely missing from 2005 (because of the great "blog deleting disaster") ...which, its highly possible I write that many words...or more in one months time...so, I guess I was about the same...
Interesting factoids, aye?

Speaking of interesting....Update on Evil Neighbor: I am working hard at praying for her whenever I am feeling nervous about things, or I'm thinking mean things against her because of the noise she makes....I figure she may become my most prayed for person ;-) Katie and I also informed the assistant manager of the apartment complex about our "issues"...and she is suppose to inform the manager of the situation. So, we've done everything we can do.

On a MUCH happier note, I've decided to share a few more Lord of the Rings quotes with you tonight, enjoy! :-)

"All that day they walked about, in the woods with him, singing, and laughing; for Quickbeam often lauged. He laughed if the sun came out from behind a cloud, he laughed if they came upon a stream or spring; then he stooped and splashed his feet and head with water; he laughed sometimes at some sound or whisper in the trees. Whenever he saw a rowan-tree he halted a while with his arms stretched out, and sang, and swayed as he sang."

"Few can foresee whither their road will lead them, till they come to its end."

"Dangerous!' cried Gandalf, ' And so am I, very dangerous, more dangerous than anything you will ever meet, unless you are brought alive before the seat of the Dark Lord. And Aragorn is dangerous and Legolas is dangerous. You are beset with dangers, Gimli son of Gloin, for you are dangerous yourself in your own fashion."

"A thing is about to happen which has not happened since the Elder Days: The Ents are going to wake up and find that they are strong."

" (Aragorn) rose and looked long at Gandalf. The others gazed at them in silence as they stood there facing one another. The grey figure of the Man, Aragorn son of Arathorn, was tall, and stern as stone, his hand upon the hilt of his sword; he looked as if something out of the mists of the sea had stepped upon the shores of lesser men. Before him stooped the old figure, white, shining now as if with some light kindled within, bent, laden with years, but holding a power beyond the strength of kings."

"And this I ( Aragorn) also say, you are our captain and our banner. The Dark Lord has Nine. But we have One mightier than they: the White Rider. He has passed through the fire and the abyss, and they shall fear him. We will go where he leads."

"No counsel words have I to give to those that despair. Yet counsel I could give, and words I could speak to you. Will you hear them? They are not for all ears. I bid you come out before your doors and look abroad. Too long have you sat in shadows and trusted to twisted tales and crooked promptings."

"Oft the unbidden guest proves the best company."

"Yet dawn is ever the hope of men, said Aragorn."

"And with that shout the king came. His horse was white as snow, golden was his shield, and his spear was long. At his right and was Aragorn, Elendil's heir, behind him rode the lords of the House of Eorl the Young. Light sprang in the sky. Night departed."

January 02, 2006

Spanning the globe

I just talked to Lydia on the phone...checked the weather in Taurange, New Zealand and guess what? It is EXACTLY the same tempature there as it is here in Nacogdoches, Texas...HAHAHAHAHA! I guess this whole "winter" thing isnt actually going to happen here at the moment...

I am sitting on my bed...in the dark, because my windows are wide open and the fan is blowing full force...its actually really lovely to feel the breeze from outside...

You know what *I* am thankful for at the moment? I am thankful for having another day off tomorrow...today was really great, but I was so busy all day...I am now really looking forward to a serious " I am not doing anything" sort of day.

Good night, dear friends...

January 01, 2006

Better Days

At the moment I am listening to my new favorite song:
"Better Days" by the Goo Goo Dolls

The words are pretty perfect for the beginning of a new year, and I really feel like I havent discussed this new year like I wanted to since I had the whole dramatic events of this weekend ( please read previous post for details).

I've always felt like I was not a new years resolution type girl, but actually, I probably AM! But I think I do the resolutions several times a year...my birthday....I sort of had a reflection time on my year anniversary of texas-living....christmas...and now here we are on the first day of the year.

So, of course, I couldnt HELP but take a look backwards over this year ( again)...I think I pretty much covered everything in THIS POST which you can read again just in case you have a memory problem or you dont read this blog often enough ( also a problem) ...
But, in looking back again, I was truly overwhelmed at how TRULY the Lord has been there at EVERY single moment. Its kind of daunting to try and recall 365 days....yet I was encouraged thinking of all the struggles, the blessings, the answered prayers, the victories, the battles, the friends, the losses....in ALL of that I had assurance of the Lord's help. It was constant, it was THERE.

I come into this new year with a since of longing, longing for what I feel I "barely tasted" this last year....I was having a quiet time this morning and this verse from my daily light really hit it on the nail:
Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected, but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me." Phil 3:12

So, with that thought in mind...

This year I would like to...
....Be better at writing emails. So often I have something to say to someone, even just one sentence, and I feel silly to send it...or I am just too lazy. Just last night I caught up with two dear friends who I LONG to encourage as they face the trials of the coming year...I need to write them.

....Remember those who suffer. It is so easy, on my "happy-go-lucky" days to forget those who are suffering...struggling, hanging by a thread.

....Pray OUT LOUD. I actually have an interesting conversation with God going about this at the moment. I've been really convicted as of late to pray more in church. As you may or may NOT know...I absolutely hate praying out loud at church (prayer meetings), most of the time....anyway, a month or so ago I felt convicted to be more of an "active" fighter in my church-to care for the people more, to pray for them, talk to them...do what I can. And it just so happens, I feel like I am suppose to do the thing I reeeeeally dont want to do. Pray out loud. So, I am trying hard to be faithful to pray when I feel led to...so often, I would let those moments pass me by, and I am having to fight pretty hard against the urge to stay silent. It seems like such a strange thing to feel like you are suppose to do...but well, I dont argue with such convictions.

...Read more, get on the internet less. There are SO many wonderful books I want to read! And yet, how is it my want-to-read list is still really long? I spend my time reading silly things like...blogs! hahaha....and checking my emails...instead of reading! boo! I have ALL DAY AT WORK to do those things...I need to stay off the computer at night.
....Write more. This one I actually HATE even posting...for one thing, I know I'll have people like Sam on my back in an instant...and I've been so very very bad at writing this year...but its something that is always in the back of my mind-so maybe the goal for this year should be learning how to JUST WRITE and stop thinking so much ;-)

....Be a kinder, more gracious person. My grandmother was very shy, and she said her trick in difficult social situations would be to find the loneliest/saddest person in the room and talk to them. I've always tried to abide by this, but in looking at my life...I find that INSTEAD I tend to talk to the "easiest" person...and I avoid "ackward conversations" like the plague...I want to learn how to make even the most uncomfortable person comfortable....now THAT is a talent I want to have!


I actually started writing this particular post yesterday morning...but it was a very different post...more tongue and check and flowing with sarcasm ( my natural reaction to bad experiences)...but since a day has passed-I am now writing it as the situation seems to me now.
In need of a solution.

It all started on Friday night, when someone banged on my apartment door at 12:30...I was pretty much in bed at this point so it took a second pounding to realize it was, infact, on my door...when I got to the door I realized it was two cops outside:
Cop: Ma'mam, I am Officer ____, and there has been a noise complaint filed here.
Me: On ME?!
( I was seriously shocked...since I had arrived home only an hour before and had spend that hour getting ready for bed and doing my aptly named "quiet time".)
Other Cop: Yes, is this your apartment?
Me: Yes! And I am all by myself! ( this wasnt entirely true, Amy was spending the night-but anyone that knows her knows that she doesnt count for any noise at all) So, there has really been NO noise!
Cop: Have you been rolling around a bowling ball or jumping off of things?
Me: HAHAHA! NO! I was in BED....


I was in total shock once our conversation was over...because I KNEW it was my Evil Neighbors downstairs who had called the police...especially, since I went to my bedroom window and listened as Evil Neighbor talked to the police, angry that they hadnt done more to me....
I didnt get the whole conversation but this is what I got...

Cop: Well, ma'mam we could really only give a warning..
Evil Neighbor: mmmummmble.
Cop: If you have any more problems you can always come up to the police station and file a complaint.
Evil Neighbor: Ok! I WILL...what's your name?
Cop: My name is ____
Evil Neighbor: Well, MY name is (Evil Neighbor) , nice to met you...


I must admit I was extremly angry about this situation, even now, accounting it I am STEAMED that she had the GALL to call the cops on me for making what I can only imagine to be the sound of me walking around my house as I always do...surely she realizes by now that this will always be the case...but apparently she was especially "angry" on Friday night...

The next day, I wasnt sure what to do...she glared at my sister as she headed up to my apartment to visit me, and I realized that I would continue to have to walk by her apartment and her and her many people living with her and I just COULDNT pretend like nothing had happened.

I went downstairs, knocked on her door ( in which she yelled COME IN) and so that is how I came to be inside her apartment where I humbly apologized for being 'so noisy" ...and that I hoped in the future she would just let ME know if she had a problem...she angerly responded that I should know that she was considering "pressing charges against me"...because I was bumping around every SINGLE night from 12-3am....I calmly mentioned I didnt see how this was possible since I go to bed early to be at work at SEVEN...but that I would definitely try to keep it down. She then said she didnt appreciate it when I JUMPED OFF my bar on to the floor...which shook her whole apartment.
I said that we had never done this, but that we really try to keep it down, and that she should feel free to come up and tell us to keep it down.
At this she told me that with her "disability" she couldnt climb stairs...so I gave her my name and phone number...apologized and left her...just as angry and indignate as I came.


Now, can I just tell you...that at this moment I can hear this very women's daughter's boyfriends ( yes, I know...I dont think he even LIVES there!) car stereo vibrating my room...and this happens every day and every night for about ten minutes at a time at least five times a day....and I am sure she CAN hear some walking around from above, especially since *I* hear her dog barking nonstop all day sometimes, and since I have woken up to delightful conversations like the "OKRA OR GREENBEANS?!" conversation...and I know this is only because the floors are thin. I also know that our other neighbors can be extremely loud running up and down the stairs which run outside her apartment and mine...and they sometimes keep Katie up at all hours as well....but this is besides the point. I really dont know what to do about this situation. Katie and I are going to talk to the apartment manager sometime this week to just to let her know there is a possible problem. But, I have no real hope for a solution. For not only is our apartment manager pretty incompitent, I dont know what she would DO if she DID do something!
I also feel extremely guilty for thinking such bad thoughts against this women and her "family"...I feel guilty about obviously making such a bad impression the time with the "road rage"...and to tell you the truth I am also upset that it seems that if I brought up any of my OWN complaints against her they would just be considered petty since she complained "first".


This makes me want to cry. I am praying about it...asking for some serious help here....It has ruined my weekend....I do not know what the future holds...but, one things for sure..*i* am through handling this situation myself....I need some God-help now. MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHH!


Instead of just saying "Happy New Year" to you, my dear friends...I give you this blessing and wish every bit of it upon your life this year.

" The Lord bless and keep you.
May the Lord shine his face upon you, and be gracious toward you.
May the Lord look upon you kindly and give you peace." Num 6:24-26

~more later!