June 30, 2012

Doubly blessed

One thing that I learned relatively quickly after finding out I was having twins, is that there are a TON of people that wish they had or could have twins. Who knew? I can't even count how many ladies have shared with me their envy/excitement at the prospect of having double the babies. My first thought was to feel guilty. I was not one of those girls. After some serious reflection I do remember a phase when I was about 8 where I wanted twins. That was probably brought on by owning the "Heart Family"- a generic barbie knockoff family that comprised of a Mom, Dad, and twin boy and girl. I named them Eric and Erica. Totally ridiculous names for twins, since we all know that on Day ONE you would get tongue tied and call them by the wrong name. But then again, as an eight year old I was not thinking on a practical level. Thus the desire for twins. My other positive memory of twins was from the Anne of Green Gables series- there were tons of twins in those books. Authors are often equally romantic when it comes to childbirth and child-rearing as 8-year-old girls. Yet, here I am...practical,unromantic, adult Abigail....11 weeks pregnant with twins. And let me tell you, I am humbled. Super super humbled. I have several dear and close friends who are dealing with infertility in varying degrees. They would like just one baby, thank you very much. I have other dear friends who have experienced the devastation of loosing babies. A pain I cannot begin to fathom.  I sat near a woman at my Obgyn briefing (HEY, thanks Army Medicine for making my baby experience so totally impersonal....geez), anyway, I sat near a woman who was pregnant after having a reverse tubes tied surgery....Why? Because she lost her first baby after two months and didn't think she could deal with the heartache again. Wow. But now she's nervously going ahead, trying again. And I hope beyond hope that she finds happiness again.

 So, I'm not going to feel guilty, I know the Lord is mysterious with His gifts. But, what I am going to do is NOT complain about the morning sickness, the already ridiculous weight gain....and all the other "inconveniences" to come. For bottom line, children are a blessing from above and I want to delight in my double blessing in every way that I can. I will never ever ever take for granted the blessing that we have been given to have an already healthy son and the prospect of more. Friends, may I never speak flippantly about the joy/struggles of parenthood....for I know it is a priviledge.

This past week I got to meet my brandspankin-new niece Arulai. She's gorgeous in every way and I love her so much already. And really when I held her in the hospital I couldn't help but think ahead seven months ( or so) to when I'm giving birth. Hopefully it will be as joyous. Hopefully things will go well. I know that twins equals possible complications but all I could think about when holding my adorable niece was how incredible it will be to hold TWO babies. Can a heart even hold all that love? I'm not sure. But I think we're willing to try.

Eating for 3 ( hundred).

So, I have a cold. Which is never awesome. Its also not awesome when you're pregnant because you can't take any of the good "hardcore" drugs that actually make you feel better. Also, its not like that morning sickness has really gone away, and phlegm is just what I need (!!). Oh, and its 115 degrees outside. Actually its 106. But with the humidity its definitely 115.

Ok, so that's my segue into what happened next. So, there we were driving down the hot hot highway of Georgia, coming back from a 5-hours-away over night trip...when my craving hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted some lemon chicken soup. Basically I knew I'd had something of that nature two years ago when my friend Keri made me some soup as part of several FANTASTIC meals that she made me after Ransom was born. One of the many many ( MANY) reason's I miss her so terribly now that she has moved is that I will not get her incredible cooking any more....tears.
So, yes, back to my craving. Since it had been two years I only had vague memory of the soup I'd had, but after some internet searching and a desperate trip to the store ( where I left my cellphone in the grocery cart and had to run back in, borrow someone's phone and track my iphone down-which had already gone to someone who'd taken the cart...eek!)....I made this soup.

Its call Greek Lemon Chicken Soup. And yeah, you'll have to turn the air-conditioner up...but I feel that the lemon-y flavor makes it just summery enough.....

8 cups of chicken broth ( go low sodium if you can)
1/2 cup of fresh lemon juice, plus another lemon to squeeze a bit over each bowl
1/2 c. chopped carrots
1/2 c. chopped celery ( I left this out...because...ew)
1/2 c. chopped onion
1/4 teaspoon ground pepper
1 can of cream of chicken soup
1 cup cooked white rice ( I think you could go noodle or even Orzo if you wanted...)
1 c. diced, cooked chicken meat ( I used a rotisserie )
8 egg yolks
2 c. chopped fresh spinach

1. In large pot combine first 6 ingredients and bring to boil on high then reduce to simmer for 20 minutes ( or for how ever long it takes to go to the store, loose your phone and get it back).

2. Mix in cream of chicken soup, till fully combined.

3. Beat your egg yolks until they have turned a bit lighter in color, then add a little of the hot soup to the egg yolks and mix in well. Return mixture to the soup pot and heat through.

4. Add rice and chicken and spinach. Serve with a garnish of lemon and a big piece of good bread and butter. YUM.

June 13, 2012

Sweet melody

So, right now I'm writing this instead of going insane. I'd really like to just go off the deep end. But, alas, I cannot....I'd be leaving behind a distraught little dude who won't eat his dinner...
Yup. We're exactly 46 minutes into a stand off over some meatloaf and mash potatoes. Meatloaf and mash potatoes that he liked and ate off my plate only two days ago. But decided to SHUN at lunch today. So I let him go without eating ( how nice of me, right?) But now, now we're at dinner....and honestly....I don't know how much longer I can take this. Did I mention that this is what he was suppose to eat last night for dinner?! But he didn't eat it then either. So basically he's had BREAKFAST in the last 24 hours.

People I know this is a battle of wills. Mostly because we've been doing it at degrees for a while now.  All of a sudden he will refuse a strawberry, cry for 30 minutes, finally eat it and ASK FOR ANOTHER ONE....that's control my friends and not on mommies side.
Ransom has always been a picky eater but I've kind of let it be for the most part because I'm lazy and I'd rather not fight over food. But, I've decided as we near the age of two, he really should learn to eat things that are not in crackers, the special lunch meat he likes, mild cheddar cheese, strawberries, bananas, certain pizza cut into bite-sized pieces, black beans, cereal and kraft mac and cheese ( no other kind) and spinach that has been pured just the way he likes it. Geez. What a tiny little pallet!

So, I'm determined to help my son overcome his issues with food. SO HELP ME GOD.

Oh. Wait. He's eating...


Oh my gosh, that only took AN HOUR. And now he's sitting over there quietly stuffing his little face.
Well, that's a good way to end this post because honestly I was afraid of what you were all going to think of me and leave nasty comments about my bad parenting. This just proves I was right.

June 10, 2012

June Cookies

yup, a half eaten cookie.  That's all the pictorial evidence I've got. 

Today I was feeling sicker than normal. Who knows why? I think I tend to try to deal with pregnancy sickness logically, like there could be some sort of scientific equation that if I was able to detect it I would break the code and no longer have to deal with any nausea at all....sadly, there probably isnt much more I can do. Some days. Better than others. period.

Anyway, after my second nap of the day ( yup, second....God bless my sweet husband and the weekend) I felt a bit better and so I decided to take advantage of the moment and I made June's cookies.

I've had the ingredients for a few weeks now waiting for just such a moment. Luckily, I wisely chose an "easy" cookie that has a lot of bang for its buck....

Without further ado Pretzel Peanut butter chocolate cookies:

Makes 24 cookies

  • 1 1/2 cups of all purpose flour
  • 1/2 tsp. of salt
  • 1/4 tsp. of baking soda
  • 1/2 cup of butter at room temperature
  • 1/2 cup of tightly packed light brown sugar
  • 1/3 cup of granulated sugar
  • 1 egg (beaten)
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 cup milk chocolate chips
  • 1/2 cup peanut butter chips
  • 1/2 cup broken up pretzel pieces
  • Preztel Salt or Sea Salt
  1. In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.
  2. In a larger bowl, beat the butter and sugars together on medium speed until light and fluffy (about 2-3 minutes). On low speed, slowly add the beaten egg and vanilla extract. Beat to combine, scrape down the sides of the bowl.
  3. Add the flour mixture and beat just until there are no more streaks of flour. Stir in the chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, and preztels. Cover and refrigerate for an hour.
  4. Preheat the oven to 350F. Line baking sheets with parchment paper. Scoop out well rounded tablespoonfuls of the dough and sprinkle with pretzel salt. Leave about 2 inches between each ball. Bake for 10 minutes. If you prefer crispier cookies increase the baking time by 1-2 minutes. Allow the cookies to cool on the baking sheet for a few minutes before removing.

June 02, 2012

double mint gum

If you haven't read the post entitled "Mother's Day" please read that one first...otherwise you're in for too much of a shock.incidentally this post was also written several days ago.... 

So, last Thursday I started having some bleeding. And in pregnancy world, bleeding is always bad....while I wasn't having any pain I still felt like I needed to make sure everything was OK. So my good friend Rolinda came over on a moments notice to watch Ransom and off I went to the Emergency Room.
It really went fast as far as ER visits go, and Brett was even able to meet me there and stand next to me while I was poked and prodded. The ER doc was able to see that yes I was having some bleeding but it looked like a full-on miscarriage was not happening at that moment, and he was even able to get an ultra sound of baby to verify a heartbeat. And so we were sent home with the knowledge that while the baby was OK right then I just might be at the beginnings of a miscarriage and we wouldn't know anything substantial for a few more days.
The waiting game.

Abigail's favorite.

However, I really did have peace about everything, and felt sure the baby was going to be ok. That night I was going through some of my old blog posts and I read this old Easter post, which if I do say so myself is really really good ( hehe)...basically the idea that God knew how hard it would be for his disciples and followers to have to wait through the awfulness of Saturday after the events of Friday...not knowing the joys that Sunday would bring...well, I was helped by this. I was helped by the reminder that sometimes we are just called to wait.

So wait we did.

Which brings us to today....off I go to the doctor to have confirmation that I am still pregnant. I felt sure that it was a confirmation and not the opposite because its been a week and I haven't had any more bleeding. I've also been increasingly nauseous and for once this was a good thing...a good thing in that it was a tick in the "I'm still pregnant"category...

So, the OB doctor starts checking me out, everythings good, she does an ultra sound and there's the baby! And there's the heartbeat! Yay!!

But wait....

What's that.....

"Is that another baby?!"says the doctor.  ( she adjusts her wand and sure as day there's another baby on the screen...)

"You're having twins."

And that's when my brain chose to assume I was in an alternate reality. Or that I'd all of a sudden become famous and was on MTVs Punkd.  Because seriously?!?! TWINS!?!?!?!

We don't have twins on EITHER SIDE. ( Unless Brett's hiding something.) And in all of my speculation I have NEVER even CONSIDERED that I would have TWINS. I'm not one of those people. You know, one of those people that God deems "strong enough"...

Anyway, I had a good cry waiting on my doctor to return. And I've been processing the news for a few hours now. And bottom line is that God knew this was coming. He knew. He knew.

(the next day)
So today it was confirmed that I have a Subchoronic Hematoma ( feel free to google that, I know I did). Basically if it bursts I could have a miscarriage.
Scary. I'm scared.
And yet I'm also tentatively not. Fear just seems like such a crazy emotion right now...I'm afraid of having twins. I'm afraid of loosing them. If there was ever an opportunity to lean upon the Lord this is it! I woke up this morning thanking Him for once again putting me in a place where there is NO WAY that I can ever ( ever, ever) do it on my own. I cannot keep these babies safe and healthy/ keep this hematoma from bursting, I also have a pretty strong suspicion that I cannot take care of two infants and a toddler alone either...so yes. Lord, I'm holding on tight to you!

June 01, 2012

Mother's Day

This post was written several weeks ago so as to preserve the "authenticity" of the moment. Enjoy.

So, on the saturday before Mother's Day I fell asleep on the couch during Ransom's nap time. And I awoke about 45 minutes later with two very clear thoughts in my head:

1. I have to pee so badly!!

2. Good. Lord. I'm. Pregnant.

The second thought was so clear and while seemingly only based on really non substantial evidence like needing to pee after taking a nap that I shouldn't have needed after a nine hour nights sleep the night before, I still took a pregnancy test just for kicks and giggles.

And, just like with Ransom I did a double take when it came up "pregnant".
SERIOUSLY?!? It just doesn't seem possible! And yet there it was plain as day.

And so, after several days of reeling. Here I am sitting on the couch writing a blog post I probably won't publish for at least a few more weeks.

Many of you know that I've had another boy and girl's name already ready to go for future children ( they are such good names! I can't wait to reveal them here on this blog!!) . And in some ways those two names are so real to me that the little people attached to them seem real too. I wanted more kids. I wanted Ransom to have someone to call and say, "Our parents are crazy."  And for the person on the other end to be able to agree with full knowledge and understanding. I wanted him to have someone to fight/play with on family vacations and to play with on boring summer afternoons or rainy Sundays.

All that being said... I'm pretty darn scared of having another kid. While it was almost two years ago, I remember pretty vividly the horrors of morning sickness and being bigger than a house, the SERIOUS horrors of labor and delivery and the nightmare of those first few months of crying crying sleeplessness...how in the world will we do that while also having a very sensitive little toddler to raise up at the same time?! My only solace is that people seem to "do this all the time" and my hope is that I can be one of those people.

And of course, just to add some Real Housewives of the Army drama in there- Brett may or may not be deployed when the baby is born and for the few months after the baby is born. AWESOME. Not that I haven't done those first few months alone before ( see Ranger School...) but as I said to Brett, if he misses out on that total awesome-ness that is a newborn ONE MORE TIME. SO HELP ME. ( empty threat)....

Bottom line: Drama is unfolding at the Wilson Household. Stay tuned.