April 29, 2006

Dont forget...

If you havent taken the poll...do so...I'm about to take it down...

A little update, a little post to myself...

Party went well...the graduate girls looked like sparklingh Princesses which was, well, what Anna and I had hoped for! And there was MORE than plenty food which was, well, important...and the punch didnt run out...and no children got hurt...and my father didnt have a heartattack so all in all it was a grand affair! :-) I would have to say seeing the finished result of the month of preparation made the last minute stesses MORE than worth it!
Now to start planning for next year...hehehe.

Tonight, went and had sushi and then to the Ultimate Frisbee all-night tournament to support Thomas....and then home to a MUCH needed quiet time...

Disclaimer: Now, this next part of my post is probably not going to make MUCH sense for anyone but me...but, meh, who cares? I've been so slack about not blogging what's really going on in my head I figure I'm due for one of those "confusing" posts....

So, this past week I've been having some SERIOUS spring cleaning. Not the normal kind. The SPIRITUAL kind.
I never realize how many false thoughts, selfish stuff, and fear mongering ammunition I've been carrying around until slowly they get put in the Light and slowly stipped away.
Now, dusting makes me sneeze, and I personally really hate doing it...and in the same way I have to admit, while this "cleaning out" has been really really good and important, I wouldnt say its been PLEASANT. Kinda like me sneezing for half a day after house cleaning...

And in hindsight, I probably should have done a LOT more praying this week. But, instead I just kinda took in the lessons without the help. Which, PS. I wouldnt recommend.

But, hindsight is twenty/ twenty, and its exciting to think of what all this housecleaning is preparing for...Here's hopin I'm being cleaned out for a good party or something! ( I always like to think its about a "party"! )
To be more specific a lot of the things that have been stripped away lately have been New Zealand related...dreams...relationships...they've all been put into a new light. Mostly its been painless, but its kinda left a serious "emptiness" in its place. I dont like empty, I'm a clutter girl myself....I think a not of RE-focusing is in order. God never fails to give me new purposes and NEW things to get excited about, its actually been a real delight to see how my heart has already been slowly refocusing on the things I'm called to do at the moment. Its almost been a shock to realize that I'm living out dreams RIGHT NOW.
Woo, who needs waiting? ;-)

I gotta admit I feel a bit scared though, scared that even after giving up all these things that arent for me, that nothing WILL come and replace it...that I'll be kinda stuck in some mature/boring rut. I'm forever afraid of "boring"...I'm forever afraid of "normal"...I know I say this a lot, its probably my biggest complaint or worry....I realize that!
Yup, its the way the devil can easily attack me...he'll just whisper something like, "You're only 22...and you're life is totally mediocre...you dont do anything exciting.....other people your age are getting ready to do cool things...you dont have ANY aspirations...etc. etc."

Umm...yeah, I know, even as I type it I get this weird lump in my throat and my heart starts beating all fast like...the lump is feeling sorry for myself, BELIEVING these lies...and heart is getting angry, NOT believing the lies!
My heart wins the day:
Everyday is a GIFT....and ( since everything revolves around people/relationships with me) last night I was surrounded by wonderful wonderful people who I LOVE...tonight I had GREAT fun with great friends...I really am SUPER lucky.

It's all about re-focusing...focusing on what's right in front of me, and not on the past...or ( in my case) the future. So, what's waiting tomorrow?

Oh, give me a heart for tomorrow, a love for those I've been given, may I minister where I'm needed, pray where its lacking, love where its hard....

April 28, 2006

I Promise to post properly..


Party People...

My sister and I are throwing the "High school Graduation Party" for the graduates at my church.....Its going to be great, I havent sat down for a second to myself ALL DAY! But, now I have a WHOLE HOUR till the party and I'm putting my feet up and looking forward to a fun night. Woo.
Anna and I should be professional party planners...only because of the alliteration....hehe.

Hopefully, I'll stop mingling long enough to take some pictures! :-)

April 27, 2006

personal perception at 7:15

So, this morning I woke up with a start at 7:15...I stared at the clock for a few moments, confused...

Yes, it seems my alarm DIDNT go off, and yes, I SHOULD get up and do things reeeally fast, because YES I am now 15 minutes behind schedule...

Ok, so now let me tell you some important facts about me, when I get up for work I get up at exactly 7oclock...I am then able to do the following:
make coffee, go to the bathroom, wash my face, put on scrubs, put on some makeup ( the basics), brush my teeth, put on shoes and jewlery whilest finishing up coffee and putting some lunch together and then I head out the door at 7:15ish.

I kid you not.

But TODAY, I was somehow able to do almost ALL of those things in LESS then fifteen minutes, I was seriously only about 6 or 7 minutes late for work.

So, here's the problem...I think MAYBE my personal perception of myself is off. I mean, looking at myself in the mirror right now, I'd probably say my hair could use re-adjusting ( its kinda messy) and I could PROBABLY use with some more makeup too...but, I mean, *I* think I look about the same as I do every other day...

I'm worried. I think I may look really bad, but I just dont KNOW it! or...even more probable I just dont CARE...

oh well...sleep is far more important to me. ;-)

April 26, 2006

Soundtrack to life...

So, my "low coolent" light came on in my car ( again! and I only had it re-filled less than a month ago, should I be going through coolent so fast?! I wish I had car-knowledgeable people around...) and so today I got home and checked it...sure enough, it was vurging on empty and my car was sad and I felt guilty for not checking sooner ( should I have?! )...

I rushed up to my apartment to find the largest container in which to carry water ( a not very large drink bottle was all I found)...so I filled it up, rushed it down to my thirsty car, dumped it within to find that it BARELY scratched the surface of filling up my thirsty taurus...I ran up stairs, entered my apartment only to catch the ringing phone...

"Hello, may I speak to Mr. or Mrs. S...Sc....Scarface? Scratches? " Is that how you say it?"

"Well, no...that would be SCIFRES...but I'm sorry she isnt in ( at this point, I pretend like I DONT know that this is a sales call May I take a message?"

"No but do you make any of the decisions regarding your phone bill?"

now, at this point in our conversation I am again at the sink filling up my tiny water bottle...I weight my options and realize that I will be running up and down the stairs for the next ten minutes...soooo since I have a cordless phone, I might as well take this guy along for the ride...

"Why YES! Actually, I can made said decisions."

"Well, I am here to awful, I mean offer you a special service..I mean, deal regarding your longdistance serv...
I mean, do you ever make long distance phone calls? Because, I'd like to offer you a new package today because you are one of our...perferred...cuu...customers."

I try to surpress my giggles...turns out this guy is more entertaining than I thought...besides I'm halfway to my car for the second time...

"That, just lovely! So, what is this special plan?"

THUS began a long spill that I'll spare you from...but I caught the words FREE several times...which annoyed me so *I* said...

"Now, I noticed that you just said "Free" call waiting, and three-way calling....now, those two serves are actually ON my existing plan, and yet I have a feeling that YOUR new plan will be MORE expensive than my current plan...which LEADS me to believe that those serves are, infact, NOT free."

"Well...umm...how much do you pay for your current plan?"

I am currently pouring water in my car for the third time, so....

"Sadly, I cannot recall the EXACT amount that I pay at the moment, but dont you KNOW? Since I am a preferred customer?"

"Actually, ma'mam, I dont know that information...but..."

"Weeell, I'd say its about 50 dollars a month, which includes my internet services...which is THE most important thing to me."

"I'm sure this plan would not interfer with your current internet plan...but...I....ummm...think..that ummm...this plan would give you discounts on your internet..."

"oh REALLY? What are the discounts?"

"Weeellll...i dont actually KNOW, you'll have to call customer service for that..."

at this point, Im tired of going up and down my stairs and my car is pretty much full of water, plus I'm getting tired of man-on-phone too...so I decide to wrap things up.

"Sir, how about I just run and get my bill for last month, and lets look at it together, to see if YOUR plan, is infact, BETTER than my current plan...of course, I will feel very sad, if it ends up that it ISNT better, and therefore you are wasting your time with me..."

"Oh NO! I am here to serve you!"

"Well, that's just lovely, ok...here's my bill....ok....soooo I am paying 15.97 for call waiting and three way calling plus caller ID That's not so bad."

"Umm...I guess not." frantically shuffling through papers to find protocol for this...

"Annnd looks like I am not paying ANYTHING for long distance-since I make my longdistance calls on my cell phone...SOOOO...what other services would you be offering me?"

"Well, free answering service-"

"-I actually have an answering machine...so I dont really need that...sooo...lookings like MY bill is 37.95 for those services...sooo I dont think I'll be changing over today, thank you for your time."

"Well....ok.....ummmm....did I answer all your questions?"

"You sure did, you did a wonderful job."

"OK then, have...have a nice day."

"You TOO!"

Poll Results: With Commentary

Well, kids for some reason ( who knows why) people answered the poll quickly and so we now have our results:

18% of my readers are NOT for the United States ( where I live) or from New Zealand ( where I once lived): It doesnt suprise me that I have readers that fall into this category, because many friends that I've made over the years were not BORN in new zealand, or the US, but moved there for various reasons...the suprising fact ( to me ) was that of those many friends only FOUR read my blog.

18% of my readers are Kiwis ( New Zealanders): I remember, while still living in NZ, trying to guess how, if at all, my readership would change once I moved..at the time my US readership BY FAR out weighed any other, but I assumed it was because I wasnt THERE...and my life was INTERESTING ( since I lived in a "foreign" country) I assumed that US readers would loose interest once I returned to the states..I also hypothosized that those that missed me the most would read my blog and therefore my NZ readership might grow just a little when I left...but, it SEEMS that my NZ readership did NOT grow after I left, if anything it got smaller...

64% of my readers are Americans
: Wooo. I guess in a way I am happy that even though my life isnt "different" or "cool" because I dont live anywhere exciting and exotic anymore...I obviously sucked you in, and now you cant stop reading..good for you! Good for me!

So, last night when I went to bed I was thinking about how I should really type up the poll results today, and I realized how PERFECT it actually was for it brings up some interesting, kinda-life-affirming events that happened to me this last weekend...I actually wrote a blog about it, but then, thinking better of it I deleted the post....buuut, I've had a chance to think it all through and I feel like I can blog about it now.

I was having those totally odd evenings where you find yourself "putting things in their place" in the form of a prayer time ( you know, all the stuff you've been sorting out in your head all week...you finally sort through them picking out the Good and keeping it, and picking out the Bad and throwing it out.) Annnyway, said prayer time turned into me praying about the things that were important to me, thinking about the things that God has called me to do right now etc. etc.

Anyway, later in the evening, I just had this urge to call Carmi, and as I was dialing her number I remembered that the Boys ( once of Royal Tce. fame) were visiting her this weekend, so I figured she wouldnt be home...however, she WAS and the boys hadnt arrived yet, so we talked for a few minutes and the boys apparently drove up as we were talking...then, transpired possibly three of the most ackward conversations ever ( granted one was far less ackward than the others). And, I also realize it was definitely MORE ackward on MY end because I'm sitting, alone on my bedroom floor at 11pm on friday night and THEY are a bunch of friends hanging out together on a late Saturday afternoon...but, as an expert of conversation rating ( I can rate ALL social exchanges actually...its a gift, ask my sister) I would give that particular phonecall a negative 3 on a 1 to 10 scale.

I tell you that, because I am actually really GRATEFUL for those conversations, because it led to a stream of thought that I'd sort of left to get dusty for quite sometime now: my relationship with New Zealand and the life I lived there....For a good year I've wrestled with this particular part of my life and how it fits into my life now....
Anyway, so I was getting ready for bed soon after the ackwardness and I was washing my face and all of a sudden I had a very simple voice in my head say,
"You are never moving back to New Zealand."

I tell you, it was SO clear, and SO simple that I stopped in the middle of the face washing and stood straight up ( getting soap in my eyes in the process.) after the shock of hearing something so clearly ( and so random), I thought about the statement, and I realized that I was really perfectly happy with it!

Oh suuuure, all of you are like, "Duh! Abigail, this has taken far too long for you to figure out!"

And, I guess it has, but then at the same time...I think I've known this for a lot longer than I realized, I just hadnt had it so simply stated in my head.

I guess my poll results also prove this fact, for my readership reflects my life choices, I will ALWAYS have a little piece of NZ in my heart, it played a huge influential roll in who I am today, and more importantly the friendships that I made there...some of them will stay with me forever and some have already drifted away...but they've all made their mark.

The end result? The WORLD is my oyster...and I am glad that I have such lovely readers ( no matter what your nationality) to share it with! :-)

April 25, 2006

no good very bad day

I've been working for twelve hours straight at this point...and they havent been easy twelve hours either. How is it that somedays are just BAD?

I want to go home. I wanted to go home 5 hours ago....

BIG mistake.

I tried to pull a "serious" blog post out of myself this morning...with all the interruptions and the fact that my giant mug of coffee "didnt take", made it nearly impossible and I found myself in a growing bad mood. Finally, I clicked the 'save as draft' button and called it a day...
This is my last day covering for my fellow-worker...she's been on vacation since Thursday. And, God bless her, now I am thinking less and less about taking my vacation days all at once, having a big long holiday doesnt seem worth having the possible suicide of a fellow-employee on my head...but, then, the overtime pay is almost worth the annoyance of sitting in a dark room ...but, then, because of a technicality I just figured out I will NOT be getting overtime for this ...I'm back to wanting to kill someone.

April 24, 2006

"...then He is strong."


All of my fears and insecurites were put in there place tonight. I was reminded that NONE of this is mine...sure I've been given a calling and a "mission" to do, but even that is not my own...
and let me just tell you, when God shows up....well, there is NO DOUBT where all those insecurites and fears came from.

He is faithful and true.

I wish I could TELL YOU or EXPRESS to you the beauty of the Lord, tonight...but instead I will just pray for your OWN personal revelation of that beauty and that love for your own life.

I have hope where once there was none...
I have love where once it was fading...
I have faith where it once had died...

April 23, 2006

the battle rages on...

The Lord was my support. ~Ps. 18:18

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, my deliverer, my God, my strength, in whom I will trust, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. ~ Ps. 18:2

...the Righteous shall cry out, and the Lord hears and delivers them out of their troubles. ~ Deut. 33:27

You are like sheep that went astray but have now returned to the Shepherd the Overseer of your souls. ~ 1 Pet 2:25

He restores my Soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness of His name sake.~ Ps. 23:3

I will say to the Lord," My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!" Ps 91:2

It would be pointless for me to tell you all the things that I have fallen short in, this week...I mean, sure, I sin EVERY day, but this week it seems to have been far more grievous and I feel my need for Salvation all the stronger...today has been a struggle and I feel, looking back upon it, that I barely scrapped by, and I definitely wouldnt call it a day of Victory...I am now lying in bed trying not to throw up-these verses are the only thing that I am clinging to.....yet, everyday IS a victory, for even though I fail so very often, my God is truly Faithful, His love never changes...

"Lord, I am weak..."

April 22, 2006

Poll Results: quickly

Obviously, you guys reeeeally missed the polls-because I use to have wait a LOT longer to get the answers up to 20....either that or you are really passionate about "what you want to do right now". haha!
Either way, here are the results to the question
"What I'd like to do right now.."

10% of you wanted to bake cookies... Amazingly enough it was touch and go there for a little while that ANYONE would pick this answer...this was suprising to me-because while I figured anyone living in Texas wouldnt want to be baking ( because its so crazy-pills hot), I also figured that its getting cooler in NZ. and I ALWAYS want to bake when it gets cooler...buut, I guess I'm one of three people who like to bake...

20% of you wanted to go hiking/tramping somewhere beautiful...I really have nothing to say about this one, except that I've been severally bitten by the travel/restless bug lately and therefore when I come out of the darkhole that I work in all day this desire becomes just a little bit stronger each time...

25% of you want to go stargazing...now that I live in a town I rarely get to spend as much time as I would like looking at the stars. This makes me sad. Because I LOVE stars...but it seems really cheesy and kinda-ultra romantic so I try not to tell people about this fact too often ;-)

45% of you want to Sit in a comfy chair and read all day...I dont blame you. I had the chance to do JUST THAT a few days ago ( well, it wasnt ALL DAY...but it was several more hours than I was use to!) and I gotta tell you, I felt a MILLION times better after just one day of reading...than ANY day spent watching movies. The moral of this story?
Its obvious.

~ About the next poll question:
You're going to have to excuse my next poll question, its kinda boring....in fact, my next TWO poll questions...but these are MY polls...and *I* want to know the answer so...TOO BAD! ( oh, and PLEASE answer them...I want to have a GOOD reflection of the truth here!)

April 21, 2006

my OKC trip: the illustrated edition


It was TRULY shocking that it took me FOUR YEARS to finally go visit Amy in Oklahoma! But, better late than never right?

My friendship with Amy ( long as it has been)has had some delightful changes over the years...which is one of the things I love about it, it changes as we change, yet we can still remember (fondly) playing with Polly Pockets and ( not so fondly) our ugly ackward years...
Well, now we have entered a really funny time...where we get very excited about things like curtains and oven mits ( seen above)...so you can imagine my delight, when I was able to check out Amy's apartment...


Being a girly-girl is one of my favorite past times...and so you can imagine my delight when Amy took Christa and I to this totally estrogen-infested Tea Room...it was ADORABLE...and the food was great...and it reminded me of my Aunt Donnave. It makes me sad that Nacogdoches is lacking in a place where Hats and Gloves and Chocolate and Teapots all hang out together...


To add to our domestic goodness, we cooked really fabulous Salmon...which turned out reeeally great...oh, and just to make you extra hungry, we also had SCONES for breakfast on Sunday morning. That's right, we dont kid around with food.
Me=fed well, makes for a pretty good little holiday all by itself...but great conversations, site seeing various Amy-haunts, and Oklahoma's finest, as well as lazing around with movies ( minus that really cheesy ABC family orginial movie), pretty much made for perfection...



These pictures are my favorite of the ones I took at the Oklahoma City Memorial for those who were lost in the Oklahoma City bombing ( these particular pictures show where childern can leave chalk messages and pictures to honor the children lost that day...) it was pretty moving and also mind blowing to think that this horrible event was actually not the WORST act of terrorism this country would face....


Ah yes, there is more I could say...maybe about our time watching turtles, fish, and ugly oklahomans in the botanical gardens...or maybe how Christa and I managed to NOT go totally insane driving 16 hours in one weekend ( thanks to the help of
this totally fabulous soundtrack and many other CDs)....or a really good sermon on Sunday morning that led to some good discussions...but, unfortunately I dont have pictures...so you'll just have to imagine its goodness while meditating on the above picture. have fun.

comic therapy

I laughed so hard at this today, because my Hot Tea drinking was almost RUINED yesterday by such a person...

And THEN...I read this...which has happened to me before...HAHAHA

April 20, 2006

"happy easter candy!"


peep before

Add a microwave....

in microwave peep


after peep

Latte lovin

So, today Katie and I went to Java Jacks...which, I just realized hasnt happened since we moved in together...which is weird...we use to go there all the time, but now we just make coffee at home, and here...conversation is free
! But, anyway, I went behind the counter so that one of the guys could show me how to "foam milk properly"...it was very helpful, since a few weeks ago my father gave me his old coffee foamer-thingy...and Katie and I googled instructions on how to use it. Unfortunately the instructions were long, and I really didnt have the patience for it, so you can imagine the results of my first frothing action. Today's lesson was a lot more helpful and I then had the priviledge of listening to the guy who was giving me my lesson talk, about his totally awesome frothing skillz for, like, 15 minutes...I pretended like I was really impressed. I figured it was the LEAST I could do for him letting me come behind the Jave Jacks counter....


Wow, I spent a good portion of today in the past....
Because I was cleaning out my closet, I thought it was a good time to go get some of my "junk tubs" from my parents house...sadly, I have SO many memory containers that...I was only able to take three with me....but, let me just tell you it was INSANE to go through all those letters, notes, cards, old newspapers, scrapbooks, pictures, magazine articles....turns out I kept a lot of really random stuff-but I'm SO glad I did!
Because, amazingly enough, there are some things you TOTALLY forget about until you see the picture or read the note...and then the memory comes flooding back...or, equally entertaining, you find a picture of yourself with some guy...who is obviously in a band of somesorts...and for the life you, you CANNOT figure out who he is! hehehe...obviously a one hit wonder....Hey, Meredith, do you remember that concert we went to at SFA when we were sophomores? Who was that, they had that ONE hit song? I think it might be from that...

I also think its interesting that some people are able to make amazing scrap books of all their memories...I, on the other hand, just have these big boxes of things....all mixed together...the very THOUGHT of trying to put them into some sort of recognizable order, or have it make sense at all... is mind boggling...which is why I like my way of doing it, for its more of how such things are represented in my mind, memories from when I was 10 leads to a memory from when I was 16....and, besides, I had a GREAT time pulling it all out, piece by piece.

I also read the columns I wrote for the my high school newspaper...and I have to say, some of them were pretty funny, yet at the same time I am SHOCKED that I got away with half of the things that I said! Obviously no one was reading them. ;-)

minute by second action...

Ummm....yeeeeeah....Sometimes I really wonder why people read my blog...because, just now, I was sitting here in bed....thinking about getting up....( I've had a killer migrane all morning)...and I thought: "Ooo! I'll just write a quick blog to say what I'm doing today!"

And this is what it would say:

"I'm cleaning out my closet! Wish me luck!"


That's exciting isnt it?!

Uggg, my head is still pounding...at least my medicine makes it possible to open my eyes without crying now....THATS nice.
What ISNT nice is the fact that I still havent eatten anything today...and my meds on an empty stomache makes me all wooosy and jittery...
*whimper* but there is nothing I want to eat! boooo!

Before I go, a little "I deserve a gold star" moment:

Since the weather has turned horribly hot in a matter of moments (days)...the hospital has been overRUN with kidneystones ( well, not just the stones-that would be weird-but people WITH the stones...) and therefore to keep myself from joining them... I am drinking TONS of water....yes, TONS.....and I have found that if you put just a TOUCH of lime juice in your water you can drink TWICE as much in an hour than if you just drink it straight up...of course, this still doesnt solve the "I have to go the bathroom every four minutes" problem but whatever.

Did anyone notice that really great sentence with all the alliteration in it? Do you realize that I do that without thinking? That I LOVE alliteration SO much that I do it NATURALLY?! I'm a freak...
"horribly hot...matter of moments"

April 19, 2006

mentally unbalanced?

remember how earlier this week how my mind was a vertual blank? well, it seems I'm making up for it now...and I couldnt sleep last night for all the random thoughts that kept popping into my head...like....you know, really mindblowing, world changing type stuff like:

"I wonder if my blog is "balanced enough" when it comes to my readership's male/female ratio? Am I reaching a broad enough audience?"

So, because, unfortunately my sitecounter isnt run by the CIA or any other American Governmental Dept. and therefore I cannot violate any personal boundries and find out the sex of all my readers...soooo...I did the next best thing:
I counted all the comments I've had since the beginning of the month ( about 78)...I then subtracted the comments that *I* had made on my own blog ( they dont count)...which left me with exactly 70 comments...and THEN...I counted the boys and the girls...and you would not BELIEVE the results! they are SHOCKING!!!!


35:35...even *I* can do THAT math! How wonderful perfectly divided! half and half!

Now...suuuure, this isnt exact science and it could be argued that I have a whole bunch of closet girl readers....or boys...who really knows? But, I feel much better and I'm glad I'm interesting to everyone equally...a least as far as commenting goes...

April 18, 2006

Dwelling place

This was a random thought I had yesterday, and I thought I'd entertain it here for tonight's post...

I was given a book of quotes, words of wisdom and delightful letters from many of the wonderful women in my life, when I left University...it has been added to over the years and it is one of my MOST favorite possessions...one of the quotes that was written in it has become really instrumental in how I LIVE and by live I mean WHERE I live...not just HOW I live...and I remembered it last night.

the quote:
" Oh Lord beloved, my times are in Thy hand; my very minutes wait on Thy command.
In this still room, O Blessed Master, walk, and with my spirit talk." ~ Amy Carmichael

I actually had it written out and plastered on my room(s) that I lived in during Uni...and it has been my basic desire for the DWELLING places that I lived ever since I moved from my parents home and effectively made a "home" for myself. My desire was that wherever I lived would be a place condusive of this kind of living...that this quote would sort of seap from the walls, that while the prayer might not be on my LIPS all the time, it would be in the AIR all the time...

I was talking to my Papa on Monday about his sermon that he preached on Sunday, he had talked a little bit about the verse ,Luke 19:40 "I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.".
Papa made the comment that he felt that this went so far as to mean that even lifeless objects like the stones, or the walls of our homes can declare testimony of our lives...that if fail to live Well, then even these things can stand and declare the Truth...its an interesting thought, and I dare say i havent done it justice here...

But, it made me think about my walls...especially the walls of my room...which is where I spend most of my alone time. They have seen me cry the hardest...they have seen me daydream the longest.....they have seen me pray the most...they have seen me write things that werent meant to be read..... they have seen me dance horribly to embarrassing music....basically nothing has been hidden from the walls of this room. I suppose the question that I was reminded of this week...and is one that I think we all need "plastered" on the walls of our life as a constant reminder, is are the Walls of my life a place where my Master is ALWAYS welcome? Is my spirit one that is easy to talk to? Are my Times truly in His hand? Have they been completely given over to Him? Is this "room" one where my Master would come and Walk?


Umm....hello, welcome to Texas, it's insanely hot here.

Yeah, so bare in mind that it is ONLY April...and it got up to 95 degrees fahrenheit yesterday ( that would be 35 degrees celsius for my nonamericancrazies)!!!!

Yes, its going to be an unbareable summer...

April 17, 2006

my heart aches...

But this is the answer:

My Beloved spoke and said to me,
"Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, and come with me.
See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come..."
Song of Solomon 2:10-12

How often do I live in Winter when my Spring has already come!? How often do I choose to live in darkness when Light has been so freely given!?

Oh, that instead I would truly proclaim the praise of Him who called me out of darkness into His most marvelous light....

a new poll...

Aaron reminded me of my long lost polls...so I whipped one up for all my faithful readers...I guess its obvious that this poll was a bit last moment...because its not very inventive...but here you go...

One of the answers is something I did last week..
One of the answers is something I did tonight...
One of the answers is something I ALWAYS love doing...
One of the answers is something I want to do in Spring time....

Of course, they are ALL good answers ;-)

A list to fill up the lack

I just cant seem to shake my "writers block"...who knew you could have writers block when writing, essentially, about yourself ?!
It seems that even I can get tired of me.

But, its happened...and I've tried all day to write something interesting...it always landed flat....or turned into CHEESE...or something equally LAME...soooo I have decided to do what I always feel is needed in times like these...I wrote a list:
The list of ONES

1.One Vanilla Latte
2. One cinnamon roll
3. One ipod
4.One Bible/ one journal/one pen
5. One long conversation with Papa
6. One episode of Friends season 8
7. One annoying conversation with the "Bible People"
8. One equally annoying trip to Wrap-it-up to mail back the evil gift from Macy's
9. One email ( junk mail at that!)
10. One Bag of Goldfish cheese crackers
11. One PB&J
12. One huge bottle of water
13. One day full of work
14. One very painful shoulder/arm/neck
15. One lost pen
16. One Workout
17.One bag of groceries
18.One shower
19. One girls bible study
20. One bedtime


Obviously 13,16,17,18,19,20 havent happened yet...but I'm guessing they will ;-)

April 16, 2006

oh well...maybe next time

I was SO about to write a totally deep and relevent post about this weekend, but then my cold medicine kicked in too quickly and it turned out my mind was a lot more complicated than I orginially projected.
Ah well...what can you do?
tomorrow's Monday, I'm sure by then I'll have it all all sorted out into a perfect five paragraph sceme.

Talked to lydia on the phone....twice. It's her birthday, but I feel like *I* was the one who got the present. :-)
And on the topic of birthday's and age, this weekend I made the decision to become an adult at the age of 32 ( its a good number dont you think?) . Which...gives me ten years....I feel like that is sufficient time, don't you think?

April 14, 2006


I'm going home...

because I can:

Os, I ma EROM NAHT YLLAMRON yppah tuoba it gnieb yadirf....ti saw yllautca ym yrev tsrif thguoht siht gninrom:
"ssendoogknaht sti yllanif yadirf!"

I ma yrev HCUM gninnalp no gnikat a pan siht noonretfa. I leef ekil I evresed ti,
dna M'i gnpoh taht ym ydob lliw yllautca yllanif evig ni dna tel em peels. hem.

Ylgnisirpus, siht yldrah koot em yna emit ta lla ot etirw, I kniht I tsum evah emos
aixelsyd gnimmiws ni ym sniev!

I syawla esu ot teg ym S'b dna ym S'd dexim pu nehw I saw elttil, dna nehw I ma derit I llits od semitemos...

good Friday

This morning I was reading my morning Devotionals...and this hymn started playing in my head...well....actually just these lines:

"Amazing Love, how can it be? That thou, My God, shouldst die for me?"

It was only then that I remembered that it was Good Friday. And how perfect this Hymn really WAS for today...So, before I get into this work day-here it is...in its fulness. Oh, that I would truly meditate on this Amazing Love today.

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

’Tis mystery all: th’Immortal dies:
Who can explore His strange design?
In vain the firstborn seraph tries
To sound the depths of love divine.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore,
Let angel minds inquire no more.
’Tis mercy all! Let earth adore;
Let angel minds inquire no more.

He left His Father’s throne above
So free, so infinite His grace—
Emptied Himself of all but love,
And bled for Adam’s helpless race:
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!
’Tis mercy all, immense and free,
For O my God, it found out me!

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,
Fast bound in sin and nature’s night;
Thine eye diffused a quickening ray—
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.
My chains fell off, my heart was free,
I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

Still the small inward voice I hear,
That whispers all my sins forgiven;
Still the atoning blood is near,
That quenched the wrath of hostile Heaven.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.
I feel the life His wounds impart;
I feel the Savior in my heart.

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach th’eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

April 13, 2006

Words Love Affair, Sleep and Gilmore girls...

Not in that order.

OK, so has this been THE longest week in the history of time and space, or is it just me?! Seeeeriously now, its only Thursday?!?! NOOO GOOOD.

*sigh* So despite the fact that most of my "stress" had been taken care of by midafternoon yesterday, and I had a DE-lightful time reading and people watching at Javajacks.. and despite the fact that I have a sleep-debt building up from waaaay baaaack into last week...I STILL wasnt able to get to sleep last night. It was awful. I literally re-learned the alphabet backwards...and THEN I actually went through ( to prove to myself that there are TOO MANY tv shows out there) and came up with a television show for ever letter of the alphabet ( minus the letter "Q"...because I limited myself to NONreality TV...so I couldnt use Queer Eye)...yes, I know...I cant believe that's what I did with my time either ;-)

Last night, I watched Tuesday's episode of Gilmore Girls with my mom and my sister...Now, I wont actually say anything about what happened, because...well...there is a CHANCE that I have fans from NZ reading this-and I wouldnt want to ruin anything for you...but can I JUST SAY...I felt like I'd been broken up with. meeeeeh! I had SOOO hoped "they" would end up together :-( and now...well...now I have to decide if I should give up hope or not...hehe...have I said too much?
Am I too attached to fictional characters? meh, whatever...

So, I'm reading this reeeeally great book from the Next Series...and I SERIOUSLY loooove these books. They are STOCK full of literary wit and allusion...I mean, its ENTIRELY based around knowing and appreciating everything from Character development, the parts of speech and The Classics.

So on that note, I've given it some serious thought ( ok, not really...it just consisted of one conversation with my sister...but whatever.) and I've come to realize that I am an English literature/word snob!

Now, let me explain...I am NOT the type to judge nonreaders, or people that have bad grammer or dont punctuate ( I don't do it half the time either)...but while I dont JUDGE such people, I actually dont know HOW close we could actually become really close friends or whatever...I seriously LOVE words...I love word jokes...I love literary allusions in everyday conversation-I love TALKING ABOUT what I'm reading and what other people are reading...I love people that can critic my writing...
So, this is kinda a problem, I mean...I hate to have something about me that I really CANT make exceptions about ( at least one that's so "based on opinion") but I dont know if I can help it-and so here it is, and I feel so strongly that its true about myself ( good or bad) that I dont feel like I'll be eating my words later-but I really CANT be in a Relationship with someone who doesnt dig word or at least APPRECIATE them.
I'm shallow.
However, as in all such serious Character Flaws...I blame my family...hahaha! I mean, just this Monday, I had to write this really important Letter...and so I took it over to dinner with my Family...and then EVERY ONE of my family members went through it with a fine-toothed comb...and we laughed about words from the Thesaurus...and it was all in all good times-I wouldnt want to bring someone into THAT kind of an atmosphere with out a little bit of preparation, would I? NOooooOOOoo...hahah!

Buuuut, at least I'm really forgiving on other things like haircolor, and height, weight, race, background, money issues, career choices, extra/interverted...you name it.

So here's the new relationships list ( hahaha! as though I was LOOKING or something! hahaha!)

-Loves God more than they love me.
-Appreciates/gets Word humor and artistic value.


April 11, 2006

thankful for these things:

A long lost CD....found.
Friends that are SO generous with their time and talents.
A day off from work after eight straight days.
A book that takes you mind away to somewhere else.
The prospect of going to sleep tonight and getting to sleep until I wake up on my OWN.

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ~Is. 40:31

the attitude

So, its offical, I am fighting a seemingly loosing battle against a very bad attitude.
I am stressed and worried and yet at the same time I am angry and bitter that I am stressed and worried, because I feel like I SHOULDNT be...and I blame it entirely on JUDGING, OPINIONATED people...and yet, at the same time...I realize I'm probably MAKING UP half of the judging...and I'm reading into the opinions...and basically my worry is because I'm not being TRUSTING...and my stress is because I'm not GIVING UP my WORRY...and so, yes, my bad attitude is offically my OWN FAULT.

So, here's the deal....I thought I was doing ok because I'd said, like, this teeny tiny prayer that went something like, " I need help." once in the past three days...and I've read my bible and done my quiet time...but it was at midnight and it was after a fullon stressful three hours of doing the very thing that's putting me on edge. So yeah, that's no good.

And yes, I realize its only a seemlingly loosing battle because I am NOT FIGHTING IT. And I havent stopped ( because I "didnt have the time") to REEEEALLY ask for help.

And I am here to tell you, it is NOT WORTH IT...to NOT take the time to sit down and start the fight against this..

April 10, 2006

Is it just me...

or have you ever gotten up in the morning and your only thought is, "When is the next time I can take a nap?"

and how horrible is it when the next time is next Sunday...booooo!

April 09, 2006

the reply:

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul. Ps 94:19

The list.

I'm sitting at the kitchen table, my laptop has temporarily moved here.

Yes, its truly sad when you actually CANT sit on your bed anymore because there are clothes covering it. *sigh*
Its pretty routine for me to wash clothes on Sunday afternoons...mostly because I run out of scrubs relatively fast...or at least my FAVORITE scrubs ;-)...I take them out of the drier ( usually after TWO dry cycles..because I forget about them the first time through and then they get wrinkly and I have to dry them again)...and then they sit on my bed for the rest of the day, waiting for the last POSSIBLE moment that I absolutely HAVE to put them away...

But, the diningroom is a particularly delightful place to be at the moment...windows open, twinkle lights glowing...the music from Rent ( from my computer) mingles with the sounds of children playing outside ( always a good sound) and car stereos ( a constant annoyance)...a breeze moves the twinkle lights every now and then and urges me to make a cup of tea...

Surrounding me on the kitchen table are lists....yes, its official I am relatively stressed at the moment. Because as we ALL KNOW...my stress can be perfectly paralleled with how many lists I have going at the moment.

On that note: did you know that in the past few months I have gotten it down to ONE list...which is basically my calendar/diary that I look at once a week...to make sure that I havent forgotten birthdays etc....isnt that cool? That my life has been that lowkey?!

So, I guess I should have seen this little shake up coming, aye?

I'm actually not going to tell you why I am stressed at the moment-and yes, there is just ONE REASON....I mean, its funny...because my lists consist of a whole bunch of Verbs...things for the Graduation party Anna and I are planning ( which is going swimmingly by the way, no matter what anyone seems to think)...and then there are the typical housewife type activites ( as I like to call them) going to the supermarket...post office etc. etc....but then there is this ONE thing...and I look at the list and I realize that it is that ONE thing that made me make the entire list....
It is as if, driven by some unexplainable need to write this one thing down...I wrote other more calming and everyday tasks around it to "mask" its importance...but I know. I know better......I know that I've been fighting against doing it ALL DAY. I realize that I HAVE TO DO IT...
And I realize that a more normal and together person wouldnt be freaking about it at the moment....but then, I've always known that I've never been very normal or very together and so I make another list. And underline the important thing, as if I'll forget...

Another one of those...

I'm at work...and the cases to be read seem to reach to the sky...But, I am not giving up possible hope that I'll be able to go to Church this sunday...I've been praying ever since I got here that we'd finish in time...

Until then, I'm trying to hold myself over with totally awesome things like this:

...but God, who must stoop to view the skies, and bow to see what angels do, turns his eye yet lower, and looks to the lowly and contrite, and makes them great...

April 08, 2006

possibly a brain tumor

I have a mega headache right behind my left eye...it hurts...and I wanted to follow that verse about taking out your eyes rather than let them bring you to sin or something like that ( the Abigail Version) ...of course, i wasnt really sinning with my eyes at the time....I just figured no better time to poke them out then when I they HURT LIKE NOBODIES BUSINESS.


So, anyway, its Saturday...woo woo! since I had to work today it was actually like any normal day-so I went to Java Jacks and got a Vanilla Latte in honor of "the weekend."

This morning I woke up to, like, the best email ever...from my favorite Nurse in Australia....seriously I've missed her SO MUCH! And she finally emailed me! Yay! Plus, my last post on my blog made her cry...which, well, I'm not HAPPY about...I'm just HAPPY she reads my blog ;-)

In other news, I'm going to Thomas and Katie's for lunch here in a mo...
I dont think I actually remember how to get their house...buuut, I figure if I just start driving in the general direction I'll figure it out-or call them one or the other ;-)

In other, other news it got cooler outside...which is kinda good...its annoying when you have to start leaving the air conditioner on all the time...it makes you dread your electric bill :-(

Have you noticed how many smiley faces I've used in this blog? that's kinda odd...and annoying...i'm actually not the hugest fan of the "smiley face" in actual blog posts...while using them in comments and text messages is totally fine. I wonder why? I guess because when I use them in a blog post I am using them INSEAD of saying something clever to portray the same emotion...while with comments I am trying to keep my words to a minimum anyway...

So, because I was bored at work...and we all know how much I love Wikipedia.com....I looked up where Brett is at the moment...also known as Ranger School...and ummmm....yeah, I dont think I realized how HARDCORE it was...I mean, call me a girl...but 19.4 hours of work a DAY? two or less meals a DAY?! meeeeh...I would have cried and gone home a LONG time ago with just THAT much less any physical hardcoreness....so yes, I feel that I must up my prayer quota for Brett...and feel free to join me on this one...you can check his blog out for HIS personal prayer requests..

April 07, 2006

The beginning.

She sat cross-legged on the floor, nursing a cup of coffee. The world outside her room was full of activity, full of noise -people going places fast, laughter, babies crying, car horns, radios up too loud...
Yet, there she sat perfectly still, perfectly silent- starring at her computer screen.
Starring at five word documents.
And without looking she knew what each one of them held. A beginning.
Beginnings to five diffent stories. Five diffent scenerios. Five different heros.
Five beginnings.

For it seemed that everyday the girl with the cup of coffee had a new story, a new dream...a new best seller.
Yet, she never seemed to get past the introduction.
No one would ever get past that first impression, that first discription of the main character, no one would learn to love her...cry for her, wish the best for her, laugh when she does something laughable, yell ( on the inside) when she does something totally human. No one would ever get to the point of caring...
No, it would never get that far, it would stop on the first page. It would just be a good opening sentence that seemed to promise goodness to come, a perfect paragraph that hinted at depth to come...and yet in truth she knew it would never come....for she would never be able to write it.

I think its the cookies...

So, the other night...around 9PM I realized that we were out of EVERYTHING...and by everything I mean milk and bread...and other necessities like chocolate.
So, I put on some flipflops and got in the car and went the supermarket. Believe me, I was ANNOYED to be out of my comfy home at that kind of hour...I was tired....I was ready for bed....but there was no other way. I was working ALL DAY the next day and without milk there would be no coffee...without bread there would be no sandwich...so ultimately I had to go.

So, the only thing you can really do to make such a situation better is: Buy yourself the WORST-FOR-YOU cookies you can FIND in the bakery.

We are talking sugar, food coloring and LARD. Thats about it. But maaaaan are they good. I had two of them for breakfast yesterday, and I had, like, FIVE today ( breakfast and then lunch)...I realize that it is HORRIBLY BAD for me...and I seriously will get SUPER FAT....and SUPER UNHEALTHY.
But do you see me caring?
Because I really had a good day at work yesterday, nothing seemed to bother me...and today...today is going pretty well too.

So, *I* think its the cookies...dont you?

Yeah, I'll start caring about my girlish figure when all the cookies are gone...how's THAT?

April 06, 2006

things that make my day better...

good, nerdy English jokes.

Some back ground you'll need to know...Often when radiologists dictate cases they actually SAY the punctuation ( oh, and by the way...I realize that in NZ you say "full stop" instead of "period"...so just remember that little difference when reading this and remember that I live in the USA):
Example of a Doctors dictation:
"...Heart size and pulmonary vascularity are normal period"

I hear this kind of talk allll daaaaay looooong. But, its even worse for the doctors who actually SPEAK like this allll daaaay long.
This can lead to things like this happening:

Dr X: "Abbey, I need Dr.P on the phone period.
Ooops, I mean, PLEASE!"

Abbey: "Hahaha! Don't you mean, I need Dr. P exclaimation mark?"

Dr. X: "Hahaha! yes!"

Abbey:" Ok, comma I'll get her on the phone for you period."

Dr. X: "Hahaha Thank you exclaimation mark"

See? Punctuation jokes ALWAYS make me laugh!

Search Engine Help

So, today, I spent some quality time looking at my readership scale. I have a relatively wide readership base. And today I would like to address one such "base" ( for lack of better word).

It turns out I have a very "searchable" name. Usually the searches are something like:
Abigail in the Bible
Abigail Biblical Character
Story of Abigail, bible

Now, I realize that all of these words are used on my blog a lot. Therefore people come expecting a little input on the subject they've searched. Sadly, I have lacked the help these searches need...but NO MORE! The following is my personal take on my namesake:

First of all, the lighter side of the matter:
here is my all time FAVORITE version of the verses in the Bible that refer to Abigail.
I Samuel 25:23 :And when Abigail saw David, she hasted, and lighted off her ass, and prostrated herself at David's feet (KJV)

I mean, come on...who wouldnt want to ALIGHT off her ASS...and PROSTRATE yourself at someones FEET?!?

I remember the first time I read this version quite fondly, actually, it was during 2002 and Lydia and I were in the middle of Central Otago, New Zealand on our Midsemester Break...and the only Bible we could find was a very old King James Version...we were doing Bible Studies on our Namesakes...and we laughed and laughed about Abigail...good times. good memories.

Ok, so seriously, now lets talk about Abigail. If you read the account of her in any other version ( and hey, if you get past the language...read it in the King James if you like) she's really a great Biblical Charater and I'm honored to be named after her.

And, yes, I WAS named after her...let's go back in time now for a quick background:
Imagine my parents suprise on Nov. 22 ( a month earlier than expected, i might add) when they found that they had NOT had a boy as they had so very MUCH felt like they would ( apparently they didnt get ultrasounds back then...who knows)...so they couldnt very well name me "Steven David" as planned...and that is how I ended up being "Baby Girl Abt" for several days...until finally one morning during his Quiet Time, my father read about Abigail and ran to tell my mother that I finally had a name ( or at least that is how the story goes).
One of the other things I always heard about my name as a child was the significants of both my sister and my name.
My sister's name ( Anna) and Abigail..were both women in the Bible ( an old and a new testiment character) who recognized what God was doing in their time.
Anna prophesied over the Baby Jesus and recognized the Christ even as a tiny baby.
Abigail prophesied over David and recognized him as the King he was ( also a Type of Christ) even in his Exiled state that he was in at the timeof their meeting.
My parents prayer for both of us was that we would recognize what God was doing in our time.

Now for some of my thoughts on Abigail, first of all, as a younger person I was delighted at what a FAIRY TALE her story seemed to be: I mean, come on:
Girl marries Horrible Rich Evil Man...One day Girl stands up against Horrible Rich Evil Man, by going behind his Back to help Others, in doing so she saves Total Hottie Rebel Warrior from doing something really stupid. God stricks down Horrible Rich Evil Man and Girl is asked by Total Hottie Rebel Warrior to be his Totally Awesome Bride. Later on, Total Hottie Rebel Warrior becomes Total Hottie King...making Girl a Totally Awesome Queen.

Yeah, you can imagine how much I dug that story as a kid.

Buuut, as I got older I realized there WAS more to the story.
First of all, its very cool that Abigail was discribed as not only ( beautiful) but also intelligent. Woooo....intelligent. Now, I havent done an intensive study, but I am pretty sure that Abigail is one of the few women in the Bible that was discribed as "intelligent". But, I think as, Christian women we should be remember this when people argue that Christianity portrays women as all "silent" and "women have their place"...the Bible is NOT against women at all! In fact, they are celebrated...and often they are celebrated for intelligence and wisdom. In this particular story a women is used to remind David of God's Mercy and ALSO about allowing God to be the one who brings Judgment and not to act in his anger. Abigail also prophecies about what David will become, by saying:
Please forgive your servant's offense, for the LORD will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my master, because he fights the LORD's battles. Let no wrongdoing be found in you as long as you live. 29 Even though someone is pursuing you to take your life, the life of my master will be bound securely in the bundle of the living by the LORD your God. But the lives of your enemies he will hurl away as from the pocket of a sling. 30 When the LORD has done for my master every good thing he promised concerning him and has appointed him leader over Israel, 31 my master will not have on his conscience the staggering burden of needless bloodshed or of having avenged himself.

She also, takes on the offenses of her Evil Husband to save their whole household and by doing so she gains the favor of David.

But, imagine how HARD that must have been! She met David as he and four hundred of his Fighting Men were coming to do some SERIOUS damage to her people. As she came riding her donkey into a mountain ravine, there were David and his men descending toward her, and she met them. 21 David had just said, "It's been useless—all my watching over this fellow's property in the desert so that nothing of his was missing. He has paid me back evil for good. 22 May God deal with David, [c] be it ever so severely, if by morning I leave alive one male of all who belong to him!"

Ummm...yeah, that's some SERIOUS wrath, and yet she stood her ground in front of that. Many times we are faced with a Force 'greater' than ourselves..and yet with God's Help we can stand against that. We, as one person, can pray for mercy, pray for forgiveness, pray for help....for ourselves, but also others in the path of distruction.

Another interesting thing to note about Abigail is that she easily took charge behind her husband's back. It could be argued that the household servants and workers looked to her as the words of Wisdom in the family..and who knows how many times she had smoothed over her husband's foolish ways. It also states that her husband was wicked. And it could have been very easy for her to fad bck into the position of submissive wife. In doing so, she would have let Evil reign in her home. Yet, this is not what she did.
Often, we too, are faced with Evil and Foolishness in our lives, and it is our Calling to stand against such things however we may. There is no excuse to stand and do nothing, even when it seems like the enemy is bigger than us, or

There is definitely more I could say about this women...but that is sufficent for now, at least now when search engines bring people here..they'll have something a little bit more on subject to read. ;-)


So, I have to admit, it made me happy to see how many of you BELIEVED my last post. And I apologize to people like my sister who TOTALLY fell for it...and who didnt speak to me for a good three seconds when she found out it was a joke. *ahem*
Annnnyway, I promise you can believe everything I write from now until next April when I will probably take advantage of your goodwill again...and try my hand at fiction.

Now, besides kind of delighting in pulling your leg, I actually had a much better and more aboveboard reason for doing a "fiction" post...it actually takes quite a bit of...something...to be able to take an event that didnt happen-and then write it as though it happened in a way that is BELIEVABLE. Obviously, it is much much easier for me to do it with a "writers voice" that I am very very aquanted with ( my own)...but, in most cases its difficult to, say, write a conversation out in a a way that sounds believable...to write an account of something that sounds as though it could happen....it takes practice to make that come across uncontrived. And well, I have to start small...as in, here, with you...on my blog. Hahaha!

I will be writing more today, because well, I couldnt sleep last night..it was awful because I was INSANELY tired...and I KNEW I was going to have to get up at the CRACK of DAWN to come to work...but no matter how much I tried to make my mind stop, it wouldnt...it kept writing blog post after blog post...it kept thinking of new people I needed to pray for...it kept adding things to my to-do list...it kept worrying about stupid things like..the future. Anyway, the point is- I only got a few hours of sleep and we ALL know what that does to me-it takes away that little buffer between "thinking" and "writing/speaking". Which...well...that can be really bad...or really good depending on my state of being.

We are going to cross our fingers and hope for the later ;-)

April 05, 2006


So, I was sitting here at my desk at work, minding my own business ( checking my lack of emails for the twenty-odd time) and I hear this SHRIEK from outside the door...it seemed that someone had passed out in the hall while waiting for a patient to get finished with a CT scan ( often family members will sit outside my door). Of course, normally when such things happen there are, like, IMMEDIATELY people around to you know do all those "medically" things that medical people do...but there was NO. ONE.
I mean, what the heck, thinking back on it...it was crazy pills!

So, I do what any ex-lifeguard does...i get out there, and see this little girl ( the one who shrieked) standing over an older women... and I immediately start checking the body for any signs of bleeding or something ( honestly I didnt know WHAT I was doing!) and then I checked the ladies pulse...And SERIOUSLY?! What did I think I was going to do next?! Right, I mean, did I really think *I* was going to give her Mouth-to-mouth?!(that's what comes next on the Life Guard list of things you do.)

Luckily at this point one of the CT techs had come out into the hall and people started appearing out of no where...and I could fad back into my little dark-hole of an office..where I sat in my chair shaking like a little leaf until the phone rang and I answered it in my normal "Reading Room, this is Abbey!" voice....Once again the thought comes to mind, "why do I work in a hospital?!"
meh. edit Of course, this post is totally and completely fiction...but it COULD happen, right? ;-)

April 04, 2006

There remains very much land yet to be possessed. Josh 13:1

The people who were sitting in darkness saw a great light. And to those who were sitting in the land of the shadow of death upon them a light dawned. Matt 4:16


I just had the perfect evening:

Anna and I went and worked out, which went by crazy pills fast because we had FOUR DAYS of our lives to catch each other up on which, of course, took longer than the amount of time it takes for us to work up a good sweat and keep it there for a while. fantastic. I went and had dinner with my parents in their BRAND NEW HOUSE. We had salad and cheese and summer sausage and zinfandel. fantastic. Papa told my mom and I about his April Fool's day gardening column in the Newspaper and how people reacted...it was hilarious. fantastic. I sat with my parents on their balcony and watched people sloooowly drive by their house. fantastic. There was the perfect song on the radio while I was driving home. fantastic. And the weather was so perfect this evening. fantastic. I came home and realized how totally happy I am to be home. fantastic.

It almost makes up for the fact that my blog readership has dropped 25% in four days, and no ones commenting...

what you missed...part uno

So, I've got several pics from my little stint in Oklahoma ( cue music) this weekend...so I'll save any possible "play-by-plays" for when I can post those ( aka. when I'm at home, and I have time)...
However, whenever I dont blog for four days, I feel like you the reader miss out on things..NOT ONLY do you miss out on what I'm actually doing instead of blogging...but you ALSO miss out on any number of opinions and inputs that I might have about general cultural events. I was catching up on my blog readings from the past four days ( it seriously took over an hour to just SCAN all the updated blogs..meh) and I realized that my poor readers missed out on ME giving my thoughts on the following:

April Fool's Jokes: Oh, how I use to love making up something outlandish and trying to sell it to my readers as fact! Of course, as the years have gone on, its been harder to do...in fact, I'm pretty sure my first year of blogging was the only year that it actually worked ( my famous story of falling in love with some guy that I literally ran into on the street...aaaahahah! SUCKERS ). Since then, I dare say you've all stopped believing me when I lie...so I've decided to play a prank on you, my readers, sometime soon...obviously, by giving you a fair warning, it makes it THAT MUCH harder for me to try and trick you...so GET READY! Put your cynical hats on...and try to pick out my LIE, feel free to comment when you feel like you've caught me...of course, I'll tell you not too long after so you'll know and can move on with your lives. ;-)

Daylight Savings: All I have to say about this is: "UGGG."
I stayed up crazy late last night for two reasons, I was in the midst of copying my blog from the month of March onto my backup harddrive and I didnt want to stop in the middle.
And, I wasnt tired at all.
But, let me just tell you when I WAS tired...this morning. When it felt like 3am...now, here's the thing, even though its only an ONE HOUR difference..why does it FEEL so much worse than that?! This is one of those horrible unexplainable things...

April 03, 2006

More to come...

Currently I am lying on my bedroom floor with my laptop on my tummy....letting my back re-align after the HOURS AND HOURS in the car...

Buuuut, I just wanted everyone to know that I am I'm officially home after a delightful weekend with Amy and Christa...

...so you can start emailing and leaving comments again ;-)