August 31, 2006
Tonight, I got this verse, and my first reaction was to reject it even though I knew it was speaking directly to me...it was funny, because for some reason I was scared...
Oh, but the Lord is Faithful.
"But we have this treasure in EARTHEN VESSELS, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be OF GOD and not from ourselves, we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed, perplexed, but not despairing, persecuted but not forsaken; struck down but not destroyed, always carrying about in the body of Jesus, that the LIFE of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. " II Cor. 4: 7-
Funny thing just happened....I was reading back through my journal and on one page I'd written in quotation marks ( as though I was speaking to someone) the following questions: "What are you doing? I feel like you aren't in the best of places, yet what ARE you reading?! What ARE you watching?"
It was funny because when I first read it I immediately thought of myself...how those questions applied completely and totally to ME...but then, I remembered-when I wrote the questions I was actually speaking in frustration about SOMEONE ELSE!
HA! Talk about casting the first stone!! How awful!
But, it was a good lesson for tonight...oh that I would truly Love.
TEN THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY!!!
1. Johnny Cash. Honestly, made me stop crying. Thanks Johnny. ( and why dont i actually OWN any Johnny Cash CDs?!)
2. The most adorable 82 year-old ( as of yesterday!) little lady that came into my office today...she was SO energetic and HAPPY and POSITIVE. I just LOVED her!
3.Emails from Tabitha and Mel. I mean, dont get me wrong, I love emails from EVERYONE but these two never EVER fail to lift my Spirit. And THATS just priceless.
4. Unseasonably cool weather. I mean, I know it sounds crazy...that its possible for 90 degrees to be considered "cool"...but at least its not "opressive"
5. My eyes turn green when I cry. Its weird. But also kinda cool. So there's always that.
6. Arrested Developmen. Its hard for me to decide WHO my favorite character actually is...possibly Job...possible George Michael...but does it matter? they are all great.
7. Gmail chat...shhhh....nothing like talking to friends while you work.
8. Church. Man, I honestly understand why people would want to become nuns...or priests...or monks or whatever. Because, there is really a Peace there, that cannot be replicated.
9. The fact that I get Monday off from work. sweet.
10. The knowledge that..."for whoever touches you touches the apple of his eye-" Zech. 2:8...its been on my fridge for the past two weeks...its probably going to stay.
Yeah, I know that sounds dramatic. But, before you get overly excited...its no big deal. Turns out that I MOST PROBABLY have just a kidney stone here...and if you push through all of the annoying things that doctors say so that they wont get sued- Unless its "really bothering me" I should just let things be....
I cant talk about this.
I'm going to cry again.
I am so very tired of THIS. I'm discouraged like you wouldnt believe.
August 30, 2006
but with that said...
I have NEVER. EVER. wanted a husband like a did tonight.
Whhhhy, you ask?!
I headed to wal mart around 8:40 tonight to pick up all the ingrediants I needed to make a really "special" cake ( and by special I mean it has all kind of weird and random things in it...and I honestly dont know HOW its going to taste good by the sound of it...so of course I just HAD to try it...) that I am making for Billie and Steve and my family tomorrow...now, if you know Steve, as many of you do, you'll know that its REALLY important for me to make a REALLY good cake. Not because he'd be mean if I made a bad cake...its just that you just WANT to please him so badly! ( I promise to tell you about my cake tomorrow-but for now the details remain a suprise)
Anyway, long story short I head home around 10 till 9....
take out all my ingedients...and....NOOoooOooOOo! I forgot EGGS!!!!
Back into my car....back to wal mart ( eggs are located at the VERY back of the store)....
Home again 9:15.
Start making my cake....its going well, I'm reading everything carefully...all the way to the last ingred....waaaaait...OOOOH NOOOOO! I didnt see that I needed SOUR CREAM!!?!
For half a second i thought about just skipping it...but I knew that would be wrong. And it was at THIS MOMENT that this thought came into my mind:
"wow. if only I was MARRIED. My husband could run to Wal Mart for me...."
The rest of the story is pretty much as you would expect, except that I ran past Jordan in Wal Mart this time around, I yell incoherent things at him as I passed...hopefully that made up for my rudeness ;-)
The moral of this story? Obviously, without realizing it, I was under the impression that husbands are really good for running errands at 10:30 at night. But, now that I actually THINK about it...realistically what are the odds that my husband would actually run out and get me the sour cream when *I* was the one stupid enough to forget it TWICE?! I guess if he reeeeeally loved me ;-)
One day I'm going to get my self a real live boyfriend ( hahaha) and I want you guys to remember to ask him the "hypothetical" question of whether or not he'd go to wal mart TWICE for things that *I* forgot....I think then we'll know if I have a keeper or not .
|You Should Date A Swede!|
You're a romantic, albeit an understated and practical one.
It's more about a steady partnership for you, not unrestrained falling
Your Swede will give you the unwavering love you crave
While making up some mean pancakes and meatballs on the side!
I just looked at the little picture on the quiz results...what the HECK is that girl DOING?! Pinching his forehead?! Weiiiird...
Oh, and then, I took the quiz listed under the foreign guy one...and the results were totally wrong. I'm pretty sure my track record proves I'm WAAAAY more scary than THAT!
|You Are 38% Scary|
You scare men off ocassionaly, but only very weak men.
You're a normal woman. You're not perfect, but you're pretty darn close.
Its made my day just a tad better.
I've been productive today, which is nice.
But, I still feel like I'm treading water at my job. *sigh*
My office is FREEEEEEZING. Its worse than the hospital in here.
In other news: Season Three of Arrested Development...well, its fabulous. I dont understand TV watchers-and why they'd let a gem like this show go?!
Am I making any sense? I feel like I'm talking in code here for no particular reason. I hope that's not the case.
All I am saying is that Patience is what I am praying for today. Patience...and...endurance.
In other news, I had chocolate cake ( thanks Katie!) for Breakfast this morning...it was good...but possibly TOO good. Now I fill ill. ugg. I bet this coffee will help...
So where is everyone this morning? I only have one blog update...and ZERO emails. odd.
August 29, 2006
Of course, since there is no proof on just HOW perfect it was...I'm just going to go ahead and say it was THE best POST ever.
This post, however, will be a mere shell of what once was.
I think I'm coming down with something...probably the Broncitis that everyone and there DOGS has...boo. It doesnt help that I was at work until 8:30 last night ( meeting dragons or something of the like) around TONS of people. And it rained.
Not that that really makes any difference. But it makes it SOUND more dramatic.
Anywho, I went home and went ( almost) directly to bed...stopping to drink the nasty vitamin drink that Aunt Donnave reccommended to me a while back...I drank it while I was in NZ and it kept me healthy then...buuuut...even though I drank it last night, and then slep till 8:30 and drank ANOTHER dose, I'm still feeling uggy.
But, enough about my ever recurring health problems. I like to think of myself as the 22 year old that sounds like an 85 year old.
So, I want to give major props to my readers who look at pictures WAY TOO CLOSELY. Seriously, you guys must have rocked at Where's Waldo ( I dont know what the French version of that is...but google it or something if you dont know what I'm talking about). It excites me that you all have plenty of time to scrutinize my pictures and that the fun isnt even over...Now that I know you will look so closely, I will try and "leave suprises" for you in my next installments of what I like to call "Abigail's Castle: A life of bugs, bad plumbing, but otherwise adorableness"
Yes...I just came up with that title for the pictures of my apartment....a little something extra that wasnt in my first ( though perfect) post. Anyway, you can look forward to those pictures when I get around to it.
In other news, I am getting my hair cut today...its been in this ackward "ugly" phase for a good two weeks now...and its really time to move on and be the beauty that we all know and love ( HAHAHAHAHA! who am I kidding?!)..but seriously now, I havent really decided if:
A. cut a good portion off and continue to have short-er hair..
B. just get a trim and start the ever-growing-out process so that one day soon I can be mistaken for a Pentecostal again ( boy that will forever be one of my FAVORITE stories).
C. Cut my bangs ( fringe, whatever) so that they are definitely bangs and not annoying pieces of hair that dont do anything.
D. Not cut my bangs and grow them out so that my hair is the semblance of the same length.
E. None of the above...dye it purple, get a tatoo and join a rockband.
I honestly havent thought much about it...except to write this post ( oh, and that other post...that was perfect)...so I will probably just sit like a dud in the stylist chair and let my hairdresser do whatever he wants...of course, you, my readers always have a HUGE say in life decisions ( as is this) so let me know before 3pm ( my time) about any hair preferences you may have. I may take it into account.
I'm going to actually do some work now...after I take something to stop all my bones from aching.
August 28, 2006
I wont tell you HOW long it took me to set up the internet in my office, or how I had to MOVE furniture...because, it was ALL worth it.
TAKE THAT SILLY SCHOOL DISTRICT!!!
So here I am, email me where ever...send me blogs...links to youtube...ebay...this is fabulous!
But, above all, I cannot work without being INTERRUPTED by FAULTY internet access.
Today is crazy busy.
August 27, 2006
Honestly....what have I become?!
In other news, this weekend I have been a social butterfly. I've had some sort of social engagment every single night. Crazy. But fun. But also by tonight I couldnt DO it anymore....I dont know why i have more pain at night...and early in the morning...but I do, and tonight its been especially bad.
I cant believe tomorrow is Monday....*sigh*
Its August, but I am thinking about getting out my NZ hoodie just for the comfort that it brings.....sometimes you just really need something snuggly to make you feel better....and since there is no one around to give me a hug- turn up the air conditioner and give me my hoodie!
Talked to Emma and Lydia on the phone. Both dear sisters. How blessed I am...
I saw a falling star tonight. I was so happy just to be able to even see the stars...I forgot to make a wish-but even if I had-it wouldnt have been as good as this which is already true:
4 For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.
5 The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.
6 By the word of the LORD were the heavens made,
their starry host by the breath of his mouth.
7 He gathers the waters of the sea into jars [a] ;
he puts the deep into storehouses.
8 Let all the earth fear the LORD;
let all the people of the world revere him.
9 For he spoke, and it came to be;
he commanded, and it stood firm.
10 The LORD foils the plans of the nations;
he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.
11 But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever,
the purposes of his heart through all generations.
12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
the people he chose for his inheritance.
13 From heaven the LORD looks down
and sees all mankind;
14 from his dwelling place he watches
all who live on earth-
15 he who forms the hearts of all,
who considers everything they do.
16 No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.
17 A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.
18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
19 to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.
20 We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.
August 26, 2006
In other news...I got my new duvet cover today...its way cute. But, very...ummm....colorful. But, then again-its either THAT or painting my bedroom...and well, as much fun as that would be-I just cant at the moment.
So, it wont be long before I'll post bedroom pictures... but a few more things to do before then... maybe kitchen pictures will be next.
August 25, 2006
So, my night was really interesting. One of those nights where you think: "huh. God SO had His hand in all that!"
Basically, my evening was going to be a lowkey affair at Mary's house with the some of the twenty-somethings from church...and i say "some" because Anna wasnt there...and we ALL know how much it cramps my party skillz when I dont have Anna there to play off my jokes *sigh* But, anyway, I digress...
So, I was there at the get together when I SUDDENLY remembered that I absolutely HAD to call my ex-boss Dr. G because I was still having problems with my new insurance and my OLD insurance had sent me some bad information JUST today...and I knew that HE was the ONLY person that HAD the information I needed...and I ALSO knew that HE was going to Hawaii for two weeks tomorrow ( yes, it is a tough tough life)...so I get his number from trusty Aaron and the Dudley household and I make a "quick call" to see if he'll mail me the info I need before he heads out tomorrow...
Long story short. I end up driving out to the Grohman's house ( yessssss....first time ever that I've used there REAL name on my blog! wooo hoooo! no longer employed!! ) and what transpired was no less than perfect.
I wont go into it-but I had a very important conversation with Dr. G and his wife in an area that is pretty much my one and only expertise...they just so happened to be facing something that *I* could offer some insight into...and as I was talking to them it wasnt even MY words coming out of my mouth! And then we had a really cool little prayer time...after which I drove back to my previous party...but the totally crazy thing was the WHOLE way I was driving I COULDNT stop praying...I mean, it was weird. I dont know what I was praying about really but I am glad I could be a part of that.
Honestly, I tell you this because it was the best part of my day-and it was the best part of my day because it was a little tiny reminder about a much greater scale....that our Lives...the very HOURS that we live are not our own. I had tonight all planned out in a nice tidy package- a small gathering...me...just hanging out with friends...instead I got to visit some really sweet people and talk about God and actual IMPORTANT stuff....and pray with them...and as we all know...I Looooove to pray with people!
So, there you have it, my night was fantastic.
Oh, and Mary makes the BEST pie ever. I mean, rock ON...that pie was goooood.
August 24, 2006
I am ready for you.
So come and fill my soul.
"A man of sorrows, acquainted with grief" ~Is 53:3
O my God, do not be far from me! Make haste to help me.
O Lord, my salvation." Ps 38:21-22
A broken people, not whole...tossed about and struggling in this fallen world, in fallen bodies....
A Savior. Perfect. Complete. Full of Love, Unconditional.
I am so loved.
Undeserving. But loved.
I want to come.
I want to bow
I want to kneel
I want to see the way that You see.
Open my eyes so I can see You.
August 23, 2006
I know...normally that would have practically sent me home.
But, I had bigger fish to fry.
However, if you want to email me ( and I recommend that you do...) in the next week ( because after that, I'm getting SEPERATE internet so that I dont have the evil firewalls) than email me at my gmail account, ok?
Speaking of emails...its a tricky business.....I sometimes think I say too much in emails. Or I say things badly....why do I keep writing? The written word is so easily twisted! Not that I'm ANY better in person....
I am good at putting my foot in my mouth-whether in person or via the written word.
And just so you know, I am crazy enough to worry when you dont reply to my emails....because I WILL worry that I've DONE something wrong...and yes, I suppose that DOES make me self-involved as though everything has to do with ME...but, that's just how I am...I'm.... eccentric(?)...or special (?).... And I'd like to think that its an endearing trait, one of those things that when you think about it, you smile because you like the fact that you have weird friends like me...but that's probably being TOO positive.
So instead, I'll continue to pretend that I dont care. And that I'm ultra confident about every word that comes out of my mouth ( or my fingers).
Its a miracle I have any friends at all.
But, as I was driving, running my last work errands of the day, God really gave me som e much needed comfort. So…
I came home turned on some music and I’ve been cooking Indian food ever since…I wasn’t even hungry…its just that I find that cooking is actually really relaxing.
Now, if I could just get up the strength to clean I’d be a house wife waiting to happen…but looks like as long as I continue to have pain… I’m safe. ;-)
August 22, 2006
You've been visiting my blog ( on your Mac computer) the last few days...and that's all I know...( I wish Sitemeter gave me more details so i could stalk my readers better)
I know its useless to ask that you tell me who you are, or even better...how you got here....but I'm going to ask anyway.
P.S. On a totally different note: I am totally and completely in love with the song "Hide and Seek" ( Imogen Heap). I literally have it on repeat at the moment.
The way it works:
1. Put your iPod on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.
How am I feeling today?
Indulge Me~ Olive. ( hahaha! “my pretty little dress starts to look a mess.” I did get toothpaste on my shirt this morning…)
Will I get far in life?
Holy, Holy~ Breakaway Ministries
(“We lift are hearts and sing praises to the king”- with a life like that, I suppose it’ll be far enough.)
How do my friends see me?
Love Remains~ Collin Raye
(“in spite of what’s been lost and what’s been gained, we are living proof that through it all love remains…” –I like that. )
When will I get married?
Are you gonna be my girl? ~JET
“1,2,3, take my hand and come with me” Yeah, that has nothing to do with the question…hahaha…I don’t know HOW to read into this one.
What is my best friend’s theme song?
“How Great is our God” ~Chris Tomlin
(Since one of my best friends gave me this CD…and the fact that so many of my friends proclaim that to my daily. This song actually WORKS!
What is the story of my life?
Beauty for Ashes~ Shane&Shane
Whoa, now THIS is so true!
“Beauty for ashes…take this heart of stone and make it yours…I delight myself in the richest of fare, trading all that I have for all that is better.”
The story of a life saved by grace.
What was high school like?
Twisted Logic~ Coldplay.
AAAAAAHAHAHAHAH! Yes, the title says it all..
How am I going to get ahead in life?
More than Life ~Hillsong.
“Stand by everything You say, stand by the promises You’ve made. Let go of everything I’ve done. Run into your open arms…”
Yup, that seems like a good plan to go by!
What is the best thing about me?
“As Time Goes By” Casablanca Soundtrack
ummm….I don’t know? I’m just like a classic love song…I’m good for a very sappy evening?! Hahah.
How is today going to be?
You call it Madness ( I call it love)~ Nat King Cole
Yup, today was pretty crazy…but I don’t think it was necessarily “lovable”!
What is in store for this weekend?
When I look to the Sky ~Train
“When I look to the sky something tells me you’re here with me, and you make everything alight.”
What song describes my parents?
Looking~ Ziggy Marley
“Looking you will find, find you will define.”
Stand by Me~ Ben E King
How is my life going?
I did it~ Dave Matthews Band
What song will they play at my funeral?
Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger ~ Daft Punk
(hahahahah! Interesting choice…)
How does the world see me?
Lovely~ Shawn McDonald
Will I have a happy life?
“ falling back to the arms of grace…I’m hanging on every word you say even if you don’t want to speak tonight that’s ok all I want is to sit outside heaven’s door and listen to you breathing”
Sounds good to me.
What do my friends really think of me?
Uninvited~ Alanis Morisette
( uh-oh, no good!)
Do people secretly lust after me?
Grease Lightening~ Grease Soundtrack
“I’ve got chills, they’re multiply’n…”
looks like it..hahahah!
How can I make myself happy?
Jesus Generation~ Hillsong
Yup, that’s about right..
What should I do with my life?
Your Body is a Wonderland~ John Mayer
Sounds like an interesting life plan…)
Will I ever have children?
They Can’t take that Away from Me~ Robbie Williams
(I guess that’s a yes?!)
What is some good advice for me?
When you Love Someone~ Bryan Adams
(Ok…I’ll keep that in mind..)
What is my signature dancing song?
When you say nothing at all~ Ronan Keating
Obviously my signature dance is a sloooow dance. Whatever, it’s a good song.
What do I think my current theme song is?
Enough~ Jeremy Camp
(“You are my supply…you are my reward, worth living for, all of you is more than enough for all of me…you satisfy.” )
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Joy of Man’s Desire~ J.S. Bach
What type of men/women do you like?
Don’t Know Why~ Norah Jones
(“I don’t know why I didn’t call…” –that’s the chorus..so I must like someone who doesn’t pay any attention to me…)
Play hard to get I guess. ;-)
What kind of kisser are you?
Don’t Panic ~ Coldplay
I have no idea what this means.
What’s your style?
The very thought of you~ Tony Bennett
Sure, that’s a style…
What kind of lover are you?
Consuming Fire~Third Day
(eeeeee! No comment.)
What would be playing on a first date?
Amazing Grace~ Hillsong
(HAHAHAHAHA! So who’s the gracious one? Me or him?)
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Complicated~ Avril Lavigne
The question is…why do I own this song?
August 21, 2006
August 19, 2006
The Princess immediately headed out to visit the Fairy who had given her the magic necklace that kept her from doing anything wrong. She felt sure that there MUST be something wrong with her necklace, otherwise the magic forest woud have let her pass through.
The Fairy was not particularly happy to see the Princess, and her reason soon became evident.
"When I gave you that necklace I was a very young fairy," she explained.
"I really didnt have very developed magic yet and I honestly didnt know WHAT I was going to give you ( for all the fairies in the land were required to give a gift to every royal child at its birth) and I could barely set a spell on household objects much less do anything worthy of royalty...however, as luck would have it, on the way to the castle I came upon a shrivel up old man who was walking suprisingly quickly for someone so old.
'Were are you headed, old man? ' I said.
'Away, away, away...' said the old man.
I could tell that he wasnt in the mood for talking so we walked on in silence, until finally my curiosity got the best of me and I pressed him for more details. It wasnt long before I got his story.
He had been working for the Master ( you know, the one..the most powerful magician in the land-it was said He had ALWAYS been in the Land..if that's possible.) and had been working for Him for many years, now before I could exclaim about how exciting that must have been, and what a wonderful honor it was to work for the Master, the Old Man stopped me.
'Oh, it wasnt as great as all that, in fact, I got tired of it,' sneered the Old Man.
'I mean, I learned sooo much, and yet would the Master let me do anything? Heavens no! He always did everything fun and imporant Himself, and I honestly got tired of it. Finally, I'd had enough of his highandmighty attitude and I decided to leave. I'd learned all the important stuff, anyway. So last night, I left a "goodbye present" and departed.'
I asked him what his goodbye present was and he said he had been practicing on of the Master's most important magics and he had finally perfected it. He had then placed the magic spell on one of the Masters possessions and taken it leaving only a note saying his good riddance.
“So he actually STOLE something from the Master?!” exclaimed the Princess, who had been listening intently to the Fairy’s tale.
“Yes, infact, to be honest I think he was thinking a little less of his “bravery” the farther he walked. Which is how I came to attain his stolen treasure…”
“You…you mean…the?” studdered the Princess .
“Yes, I got that necklace for a very fair price.”
Well, TODAY, I was trying to kill one of the hundreds of wasps that hang out by my front door...when one of them flew towards me in a menacing sort of way...and being the total GIRL that I am...I screamed, ran backwards, and in the process dropped my full can of bug spray directly on the top of my foot...there is now a lovely knot on the top of my foot, with a little blood blister to top it off...
Sitting upstairs at Java Jacks with a piece of ice propped on top of it...normally I dont sit upstairs but I felt like it probably wasnt coffee house rules to put your foot up with ice on it.
August 18, 2006
How much do you love pictures that capture a moment?
Tonight I basked in some memories…
I pushed my face hard into the bare mattress and was ANGRY at God
…I looked around at Lydia’s room…the posters still on the wall, but everything else piled up in boxes against the wall…
That moment was both horrible and yet entirely good/necessary.
I would go back to Texas after that.
And I would be glad that Kristy had gotten out the camera in that significant moment.
To remind me why I couldn’t stay.
We laid there in the sun…not saying anything and if we did it didn’t have any weight…it just floated away on some summer breeze. Moments like that are why I love summer, why I love my friends, why I love afternoons. And ultimately why it was so hard to LEAVE.
We’d been driving for hours, down dusty highways…stopping for ice cream and dips in the river…and critters that crossed the road. Listening to Coldplay and the soundtrack to Save the Last Dance. I honestly didn’t care if we EVER got to our destination…
We stood on the dark, cold, bare campus of a University that none of us attended…just there for the weekend. But as we began to sing and pray it was as though it was day, and warm…and home.
They had dug a hole and put a trampoline in it. Genius.
We loved “they” for it…though we just came to the house for “weekends away”…an empty house with a baby bed in the back bedroom. Odd.
We would fill the house with laughter, deep discussions, new inside jokes, prayer, pranks and food…and then we’d pack up and leave. But not without taking home some memories of starry nights on the trampoline.
Once the music started, once we were dancing all together in a big group.. it didn’t really matter what our dresses looked like, or if our hair was working for us…besides, no matter how hard you try-you’ll make a face like this too…ah, high school…
Life was truly beautiful, it was paradise, and no matter how hard you pinched yourself you really didn’t wake up…in Fiji one can hardly contain the joy of life…we didn’t even try…
So, you can imagine how happy I was when I heard that the "sequal" to the Garden State soundtrack was coming soon in the form of "The Last Kiss" soundtrack.
And my happiness was not disappointed. I'm totally loving this soundtack. I must admit I actually own a good number of the songs already ( Imogen Heap, Snow Patrol, Coldplay, Rufus Wainwright, Amos Lee...) but the thing I think I love about this CD is that all these songs are now married together in some special way, conveniently located on one CD for my listening pleasure. They flow nicely so you can leave it on and not worry about being jarred awake by some weird random song that doesnt fit.
In other news: Thomas played the good brother today and hung my pictures and mirrors in my living room...rock on.
Have a good weekend everyone. I plan to stay in bed as much as possible.
August 17, 2006
This sickness is not unto death.
From our Lord's words we learn that there is a limit to sickness. Here is an "unto" within which its ultimate end is restrained, and beyond which it cannot go. Lazarus might pass through death, but death was not to be the ultimatum of his sickness. In all sickness, the Lord saith to the waves of pain, "Hitherto shall ye go, but no further." His fixed purpose is not the destruction, but the instruction of His people. Wisdom hangs up the thermometer at the furnace mouth, and regulates the heat. 1. The limit is encouragingly comprehensive. The God of providence has limited the time, manner, intensity, repetition, and effects of all our sicknesses; each throb is decreed, each sleepless hour predestinated, each relapse ordained, each depression of spirit foreknown, and each sanctifying result eternally purposed. Nothing great or small escapes the ordaining hand of Him who numbers the hairs of our head. 2. This limit is wisely adjusted to our strength, to the end designed, and to the grace apportioned. Affliction comes not at haphazard-the weight of every stroke of the rod is accurately measured. He who made no mistakes in balancing the clouds and meting out the heavens, commits no errors in measuring out the ingredients which compose the medicine of souls. We cannot suffer too much nor be relieved too late. 3. The limit is tenderly appointed. The knife of the heavenly Surgeon never cuts deeper than is absolutely necessary. "He doth not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men." A mother's heart cries, "Spare my child"; but no mother is more compassionate than our gracious God. When we consider how hard-mouthed we are, it is a wonder that we are not driven with a sharper bit. The thought is full of consolation, that He who has fixed the bounds of our habitation, has also fixed the bounds of our tribulation.I've been praying about healing the last few days...I dont know why I'm so afraid to ask for it? Its so strange that I would hold back like this! Lack of faith I suppose...but this passage did encourage me to keep praying about it. This is important...at 8:53 AM
But, has it REALLY been almost three years since i last saw him?!
P.S. my new phoneline is working...OOOoOOOOooo even recorded my generic message of "you have reached *says number* leave a message."...honestly, it was ALL I could think of at 11:30 at night!
P.P.S. feel free to call and leave me clever messages in reply. ;-)
August 16, 2006
August 15, 2006
Like, saaaaay a new problem. This old problem, specifically, this kidney stone…is truly a thorn in my side in EVERY sense of the word. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of the pain. I’m tired of giving people updates on whether or not I can feel it today. I hate that not because I dislike talking to those who so obviously care, but more that I wish we could have something ELSE to talk about....something that seems more important. I feel like I'm wasting valuable time and energy on feeling pain. It sucks at life.
It sucks away energy and conversation and relationships and thought...it sucks at my very life.
I went to see a movie with my sister, I’d been feeling positively great since Saturday…but then, during the previews… it was back.
I just said, "The kidney stone is back."
Because it was...and it is.
And honestly, I wish I was better at the pain. I wish I could just totally and competely ignore it. But, I cant, because even though most of the time I can do everything that I would normally do in a day, there is something missing...and I cant even put my finger on it exactly, but there is some tiny something that pain steals.
I want this to be gone from my life. I want it to steal from me no longer....but let me say this...until it is gone, may it teach me patience, may it teach me sympathy for others in any kind of pain.
Because that is what I've learned. Pain, in all its various forms, comes to steal...
Anywho, I finally got out of bed. defeated. and here I am in the kitchen drinking coffee.
I wouldnt mind the painting job so much if it wasnt for the "early mornings"...and the "workmen that stare".
So, anyway, here I am...and I still have a good 15 minutes before I need to think about leaving for work. Nice.
I slept well last night. First time in days. Rock ON. Who knows what it was? maybe finally getting to go to the gym again? The kidney stone decided to stop hurting. Maybe actually having Bible study go well-even WITH three new people....man, I was seriously praying hard about that one...which reminded me how little praying I WAS doing for my girls. Honestly! Pitiful.
Or, maybe the good slee was because I was just waaaay tired. ;-)
Hey, so I gotta say, my comments on my last post-not encouraging...hahahaha! You girls! I was trying to say I DIDNT want to be the spokeswomen for singledom!! No, no, I dont mind...infact, I was talking to my sister last night ( and, you know, she's MARRIED) and she agreed with me on EVERYTHING. So I think I'll be a spokeswomen forever...its not going away. Because ultimately we're fighting a cultural battle that's existed since....ooooh Adam met Eve....and basically its not a being an advocate for being SINGLE necessarily, its being an advocate for being what GOD WANTS YOU TO BE FOR RIGHT NOW...and, well, that works all the time, in every season.
Someone did ask me to remind them of the facts, but I'm really too muddled in the mornings to review them just now-how about you just go back and read my ( rather violent) take on the rules from back in November 2005...check the second post on the 5th....I would link it, but I cant be bothered. hahaha!
Oh, man....I just re-read that post. Boy, I was ticked off that day....hahahaha! Righteous indignation. or something.
Alrighty, I'm off to work now...gotta go run by the workmen....email me today people-I honestly havent gotten an email at work since I started...let's all try to remember even *I* have to take breaks from working sometimes! ;-)
August 14, 2006
August 13, 2006
I will eventually get internet in my house ( hopefully this week) but until then...ROCK ON FREE INTERNET IN THE KITCHEN!!!!
So, church this morning: Man, do I loooooove church.
There is truly something powerful about the House of God. Whatever form that takes, a house church, a mega church...whatever. There is just something irreplaceable about being where the Holy Spirit is, with other fellow believers.
I'm not doing a good job at expressing this-so, I'll just give my example.
I didnt get to sleep last night until TWO. Uggg...it was noooo goooood. And the worries of this and that just seemed to accumulate above my head. All the things I'd struggled with all week-even the things I THOUGHT I'd had victory over...well, they all huddled there above my bed like a very dark dense immovable cloud.
But, as dense and immovable that cloud was in my little personal "just me" world, it was completely blown away with the course of some fellowship a beautiful sermon and hymns to life the heart.
Honestly, why do I think I can do this on my own?!
Its funny, because, I've never thought of myself as a loner or anything remotely connected to that-I mean, I think my blog is a good example of that-I'm constantly looking for the validation and the help and support of my readers ( its true...)...But, I guess in some ways my pride...and whatever else does keep me very often alone. Alone with a cloud over my head.
So here's to Sunday's and clear skies.
Blessed week dear friends, blessed week....
August 12, 2006
In fact, when she was very small a fairy had come and given the princess a necklace that kept her from doing anything wrong. Ever.
Now, this was lucky, since the Princess lived in an enchanted kingdom ( arent they always?!) where the only way to get food was to go through an enchanted forest to an enchanted barn that was stock full of all sorts of good food...but, unfortunately, the only way to get through the enchanted forest and into the enchanted barn was to be without fault. As in, the person had to never do anything wrong. Ever.
So, since she had been very small the Princess had brought food to her kingdom by trampsing through the enchanted forest to the enchanted barn and gathering food for the people.
One day , however, as the Princess was entering the enchanted forest a giant branch from a nearby tree came barreling down and smacked her right between the eyes. Not only did that leave a nasty bruise, but it seemed that no matter how hard she tried the Princess couldn’t get past the offending tree. It just kept on making swipes at her with its long branches.
The Princess returned to her castle and put ice on her bruise and wondered what had just happened. She guessed that the enchanted forest had just made a mistake and that probably if she went back the next day it would surely let her pass…afterall, her necklace still kept her from doing anything wrong. Ever.
So, the next day, the Princess headed back to the enchanted forest and walked right on in. This time a giant bird from the top of one of the enchanted trees flew straight at the Princess and pecked her squarely on top of the head. Not only did that leave a nasty knot, but it seemed that no matter how hard she tried, the Princess couldn’t get past the pesky bird. It just kept making swipes at her from the sky.
The Princess returned to her castle to put more ice on her bruise and now the bump on the top of her head. This time she was really really concerned. After all, once again she was returning home empty handed. And as we all know when people go without food for long enough they get low blood sugar. And well, low blood sugar usually leads to petty arguments amongst the people of the land. The princess thought long and hard and finally decided that something must have gone amiss with her magic necklace that kept her from doing anything wrong. Ever.
Yes, she must go visit the fairy that gave it to her and find out just what the problem was….
stay tuned next week, for the exciting conclusion of this princess story...
August 11, 2006
First I visited Carmi...and we spent very romatic time together, praying and shopping and watching sunsets, playing "who can say the most inappropriate thing as someone walks past on the street"....honestly, someday some guy is going to be SO LUCKY ;-)
then I went to Dunedin where I was met by my very own Carebear...."funshine"bear and I then spent glorious days in dreary Dunedin-the company was FAR from dreary however...
Emma and Lydia are always stretching me and teaching me new things...this trip included "Teach Abbey how to light a match"...it was tramatic, but I can now do it. whew.
I honestly think Thida got MORE beautiful since the last time I saw here...inside AND out....but unfortunately we had a hard time taking a picture that truly captured our beauty-not for lack of trying however...
Oh man! how happy I was to spend time with Tabitha, just seeing her smiling face from afar brought tears to my eyes!
of course, it wasnt ALL roses...Emma and I stood for three hours over a hot stove making pancakes from the Women's Breakfast...and of course, I burnt my finger. It was sad. But I was brave.
And the women's breakfast was totally wonderful and worth a burnt finger...once again seeing terrific people like Mel. Truly like Pancakes for the soul!
Oh, and here's a great picture that totally expresses my time in Wellington-laughter. lots of it.
Why dont I have any good pictures with Louise?! booo....
Oh...and just to wrap this up ( tired of downloading pictures)
New Zealand is still the most beautiful place in the world....
But freeeeeezing in winter! ( that's a heater that I'm straddling)
I came home and faced the real world......but not without a great deal of wonderful memories and rekindled friendships to help with the load.
August 10, 2006
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
for you are my refuge.
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.
I trust in the LORD.
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction, [a]
and my bones grow weak.
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends
those who see me on the street flee from me.
I have become like broken pottery.
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me
and plot to take my life.
I say, "You are my God."
deliver me from my enemies
and from those who pursue me.
save me in your unfailing love.
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and lie silent in the grave. [b]
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.
which you have stored up for those who fear you,
which you bestow in the sight of men
on those who take refuge in you.
from the intrigues of men;
in your dwelling you keep them safe
from accusing tongues.
for he showed his wonderful love to me
when I was in a besieged city.
"I am cut off from your sight!"
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.
The LORD preserves the faithful,
but the proud he pays back in full.
all you who hope in the LORD.
August 09, 2006
August 08, 2006
August 07, 2006
August 05, 2006
August 02, 2006
August 01, 2006
Yesterday I literally hobbled into bed....my feet were
actually SWOLLEN from work!
Yup, apparently cleaning two apartments ( the old and
the new), unpacking heaps of stuff and doing tons of
little odd errands was all just a little too much for
my little feet to handle. ;-)
Today was my first day at my new job. I am a bit more
positive about it today than I was yesterday...but I'm
so super tired that I actually cant put convincing
sentences together to prove that fact.
You'll just have to believe me.
More tomorrow maybe. Though internet access officially
limited since I cant yet be bothered to get access for
my new apartment as of yet.