December 30, 2005

Yesterday and yesteryear

Yesterday was my day off, and besides I had to leave the twenty-odd posts that I wrote the previous day up for a while so you'd actually read and comment...which you didnt...but that's ok :-)

But, its a new day...and I've got things to discuss...first of all, I went and saw King Kong...and while I wouldnt necessarily see this movie again, at least for a good while. It WAS beautifully done. And it still remains that Peter Jackson is a genius. My personal suprise favorite character was the captain who was played by Thomas Kretschmann...who interestingly enough played the sympathetic Captain in the Pianist that effectively saved Adrien Brody's characters life. huh. ( I just found that out thanks to my handy dandy friend Anyway, I felt like ALL the characters were perfectly cast and they all seemed to say so much with just their eyes which added a great deal of depth to the movie for me.

Yesterday also held another first for me: I locked my keys in my car. Yes, it was pretty awful, but it wasnt THAT bad. I was having lunch with a friend anyway so I just called the locksmith and they came before our food arrived. So, while they charged me an arm and a least it wasnt TOO horrible of an event. And hopefully that will be the end of my bad luck ;-)

To make myself have a better day, I bought myself the fifth season of Friends on DVD. It was worth buying it at hastings rather than by it online and wait for a million years to get it-just to save a few dollars. Time is money and all that jazz...

December 28, 2005

Promised Pictures...

So, I feel like these pictures, while definitely not the most embarrassing of the night, do express the evening for what it was...
overheadThe Overview

The Abt girls at work...

So, my sister made up a "Year End Survey" for me to complete and put on my blog...
So, of course, I will compete it ;-)
Feel free to copy and paste this on to YOUR blog (or just email me)...and let me know so I can check out your responses!

20 Questions about the Year 2005
1) Where were you when 2005 began? Ummm...would you believe me if I said I dont remember? It was a pretty lame New Years.

2) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
April 19th...the whole day qualifies as the WORST.

3) What was your favorite moment of the year?
Running to meet Lydia and Emma at the airport in Rome, Italy.

4) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were
I had lunch with Amy, dinner with family and I turned 22

5) Did you fall in love in 2005?

6) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
"technically" no...but I did break up with two people without going out with them ( yes, I have talent, I will be single forever!!)

7) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
Yes, even though I've known several all my life, but I had the previledge to get to know them better which was pretty cool.

9) What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your
memory, and why?
April 19th...and I actually REMEMBER thinking at the time, "there is NO WAY I will ever have a worse day. This is awful."

9) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?
Yes, I went to Italy with two of my bestest was fabulous!

10) What was the best book you read?
Hmmm...hard to say! I read a bunch of great books, but in the last month or so, "Captivating" really spoke to I'll say that one!

11) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
hehehe...I spent a good portion of the year missing people. :-)

12) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005? oooooo...soooo hard! how about the top four?
Cinderella Man, Walk the Line, Pride and Prejudice, Lion the Witch and the Waredrobe

13) What was your favorite song from 2005?
There is NO WAY...I could decide just one!I probably had a new favorite song every month...which is a good idea! Maybe I'll do "the year in song" post before the years out! remind me to do it!

14) Who were you most thankful for in 2005?
My faithful friends...who just seem to STICK no matter what.

15) What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done
Paid an electric bill, gas bill, and telephone bill...and RENT!

16) What was your proudest moment of 2005?
huh. i dont know...I guess when I got a dollar raise? That meant I was doing a good job...

17) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
there have been so many! I think probably the "getting caught in the roadrage" moment...which was also a great story...dont they ALL turn into good stories?!

18) What valuable life lesson did you learned in 2005?
I feel like I was "tested" a great deal this year, and I really feel like I am stronger, so I guess I've learned that even the WORST of events can have some positive effect.

19) What are your plans for 2006?
One of the lessons I had to learn in 2005 was to give up my OWN plans and let God guide my life and be more trusting in that...soooo....2006 is a total blank! Ask me what I am doing, THAT I think I can tell you ;-)

20) Where will you be when 2005 ends?
That is still a bit up in the air, but...I have a feeling it could be just as "memorable" as 2004 was ;-)

ok, it's your turn now!

oooooh myyyyyy

There are no words to discribe words.

Herbert Midgley Writes!

without looking at the clock...

...I ALWAYS seem to crave a Coke at exactly 11am..

I have no idea why.

The problem with this is that the coke guy comes and restocks the vending machines at 11....two times I walked up as he was restocking and he just gave me a free was nice, but then I started to feel bad...I mean, I am NOT going at 11 just to get the free coke, but it MAY look that I started waiting...and going later when I knew he would be gone...and you would THINK I would then start to get my craving later, at say my body would adjust to this new pattern. No, I still want my coke right now.
Oh, and after re-reading this, it gives the impression that I have a coke every day...I dont, but when i DO...I crave it at exactly 11am...which makes it all the stranger.

Yes, I know, my life is truly rivating.

So, there is a Doctor who wears SOOO much cologne that when we recieve films that he's touched...they SMELL like him. Amazing.

I read a bunch of blogs today-I dont recommend any of them. Sort of trashy :-( Made me feel gross, actually. That's the problem, you dont necessarily know right away-their first post can be super entertaining and funny and you think, "Yay! A winner!" and then...boooooooo!

For instance, if someone comes across my blog and this is the post they see first...they will move on quickly, because WHO wants to read about someones strange built in coke-clock!?

The moral of the story: Be careful when browsing blogs...and never judge a blog by its first post.

December 27, 2005

The girls....

So, last night was the long-awaited meeting of the girls...The DBM re-united for our annual holiday cheer. This year was extra special because Nancy Cotton ( not her real last name) graced us with her presence...thus making us almost totally complete ( minus Asa whom...I really very much doubt I'll ever see again...) as you can imagine ( or you should anyway) we were goofy and crazy and just as loud as we ever were in high school...ahhhhhh!
I am definitely planning to post some pictures from the night because otherwise you wouldnt believe our sillines..but, then, on second thought..some silliness is better left to the imagination. ;-)

It was so delightful to laugh with these girls-and I really must say, while our lives have taken some interesting twists and turns; taking us from Finland to Austria to New Zealand and other stops in between...we can still bring it all back to this little town in Texas where we all spent a splendid amount of time together back in 2002.

December 26, 2005

must have a sense of humor some of the events of today made me thing that I really really need to write my memoirs soon because, THE most embarrassing/funny things happen to me that its almost as if God is up there just TRYING to give me material.

Today, I seriously had a good ol' akward moment ( i think it goes in my top 50 at least) but I felt like I handled it rather well, and with a good bit of humor and grace ( if I do say so myself)...but then I came home and laughed with my sister about if for a long while....
I bet you want to know what it was ;-)

Spent a good portion of the day lying in bed reading Premiere Magazine, and listening to music...

Spent a good portion of the day straighting my room....

Spent a good portion of the day eating sinfully good chocolate...

just because...

...I am bored.

I havent written a blog in a loooong time that I didnt know "somewhat" I was going to say to begin with...buuuuut, I am at work, and its going slower than normal because my doctor has a visitor. While any varity at work is alway appreciated, this way, I have less to do. :-(
So, today I'm just going to talk to you, to fill time. This weekend I watched two DVDs.
The Brothers Grimm: This movie was kinda gross in parts ( nasty bugs and corpes and such) and kinda boring and had a insanely weak ending and bad plot. BUT the acting was very good...though, even that didnt make the movie worth it.

Must Love Dogs: This movie was really kinda boring too. Though John Cusack played his typical brooding character flawlessly...but thats not a suprise since he's been playing that character since the 80s. I also though the "dramatic" scene at the end was so ridiculous that I actually laughed out loud. So, in that respect the movie was a winner. Plus, Diane Lane is hot, and a walking advertisment for what botox can do.

December 25, 2005

Joy to the World

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! II Cor 9:15

Well, the day is almost over, and I'm curled up in my bed...

Can I just say, I think we should ALWAYS go to church on Christmas day...I mean, sure midnight services are cool...but there is just something about having CHURCH on the actual day of Christmas! I was SO very pleased that I was able to go to the service, my wonderful boss made sure we made it out in time for me to make it :-) It was truly my Christmas miracle!
And as I was singing the opening Christmas Carols I looked around at all the dear dear ones there at church...and I was filled with such JOY. For THESE people are truly my family! And this is why I think, no matter what day of the week Christmas falls on, we should have church to celebrate...for while I have struggled over the past weeks with the meaning of this season, being stretched and pulled every which way to truly grasp the Truth. It was as if it came together there at church this morning...

Tomorrow is another "hospital holiday" which means the doctors offices wont be open-which means only one radiologist works and he should "technically" only have to read the inpatient films...but its probably going to be a long morning despite that. I dont really mind. Its something different than a normal monday that's for sure! ;-)
besides, tomorrow night we are having a "the girls christmas gathering" at my four girl friends from highschool are getting together for some girly times...I am excited about it. Its really fun that we are all still able to hang out and laugh together after so much water has passed under the bridge of life..hehe.

On Tuesday my aunt and uncle and cousins and their husbands and wives and their kids are all coming into town for a little "run-threw" family gathering...seriously, I think there are like 25ish people in all! Insane how families can multiply! But, that should be actually, I guess this Christmas season ISNT over yet! ha! what was I thinking?
I am going to consider this coming week as "icing on the cake"....for I truly feel like, in the end, this Christmas was a success...a personal victory so to speak.

Well, the blogging community has been a little bit on the dusty bunnies and crickets side of things lately, especially when it comes to comments...buuuut, I have great and high hopes for the coming New Year. Woooooo!

And with that...I am off.

December 24, 2005

The Reason

So, I was talking on the phone with a dear friend. Her apartment complex had called her to let her know that her apartment had burned down...well, not completely, but it had severe smoke damage and her roommates room had caved in...
It was during this conversation that my misconceptions of Christmas took their final breath and died.
I hung up the phone and cried and cried.

I think what really threw me over the edge was that I had spent a good majority of the day by myself. I went grocery shopping by myself, I cleaned my apartment...I did other little tasks...things that didnt really need to be done necessarily, but it was seriously just like any other day. My family was busy with various father was doing family obligation stuff, so was my sister....the cousins I normally think of at Christmas time were either overseas or had work obligations that kept them out of dear grandfather was all alone hours away from me....I felt horrible. I cried and cried and I probably would have continued crying if katie hadnt happened to come home to pick up some presents to take to her parents house. She 'gathered me up' so to speak and took me off to her church's christmas eve service and dinner at her family's house afterwards. It was really sweet. It kept my mind off of things...but now I am home again, writing here to this blog which probably will not be read for some days, since MOST people dont spend Christmas on the computer ;-)

OK, so seriously now, even though I wouldnt say today has been "good"...I am grateful for it, I feel like its been a real turning point. I am realizing that I really DID think of this holiday as a time to spend with family, a time steaped in tradition ( the same christmas decorations, the same family, the same foods...the same music etc etc etc ) And while I still think that is a wonderful thing if you have it , I think its possible I put TOO much of my holiday cheer in these things.
This Christmas Season has been wonderful in that I've had a wonderful special time with a dear friend of mine who has spent me her thoughts on the Meaning of Christmas everyday this has been a incredible blessing to meditate on such has been wonderful to listen to the Messiah at full blast and know that the prophecy it speaks of has truly come to pass...And yet, I really needed my little "guilty pleasures" stripped away to realize just how much they were still there...even though I knew in my MIND what this holiday was about, it was not yet written on my heart.
Its horrible actually to see how with each of those "missing pieces" ( the people, the places, the foods, the books, the activites) that this year lacked, I felt like my entire Christmas was gone. But, now I am seeing it restored again. And hopefully now I can find great joy in one fact and one fact alone....and this fact will be sufficient, and in this fact and this fact alone I am able to fully rejoice in this glorious day:

Phil 2:6-8
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

The coming of the King...

So, tonight as I was reading in Isaiah I was reminded of Lord of the I so often am...and I thought I would share it with you now, for it seems fitting...for truly tonight, I am reminded what Christmas Eve is all about. Our Lord coming to this earth...( in two parts...)
Part One, tonight:

The Verses:
"The people walk in darkness
having seen a great light.
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned." Is 9:1-2

The Passage:
Suddenly the king cried to Snowmane and the horse sprang away. Behind him his banner blew in the wind, white horse upon a field of green, but he outpaced it. After him thundered the knights of his house, but he was ever before them. Eomer rode there, the white horsetail on his helm floating in his speed, and the front of the first roared like a breaker foaming to the shore, but Theoden could not be overtaken. Fey he seemed, or the battle-fury of his fathers ran like new fire in his veins, and he was borned of the Valar when the world was young. His gold sheild was uncovered, and lo! it shone like an image of the Sun, and grass flamed into green about the white feet of his steed. For morning came, morning and wind from the sea; and darkness was removed, and the host of Mordor wailed, and terror took them, and they fled, and died, and the hoofs of wrath rode over them. And then all the host of Rohan burst into song, and they sang as they slew, for the joy of battle was on them , and the sound of their singing that was fair and terrible came even to the City.

Ah yes, tonight I marvel at the majestic grandness of our King...He is not to be forgotten, to be belittled, brought down...for He came to this Earth to take it. To crush Satan under His heal once and for all...and THAT is to be praised...THAT is to be remembered.

December 23, 2005

Didnt get the memo...

So, I woke up this morning and got ready to work, I still feel slightly ill...but I've decided its doable to ignore it that's what I'm planning...I'm still really weak...and my tummy gets upset waaay easily but...or as one doctor said this morning:
"You still look pale."
to which I replied:
" I still feel pale."

Anyway, so I got up and Katie had kindly gotten the mail, last night...
I've been summoned for Jury Duty. They obviously didnt get the memo where I swore off the American Justice System for good.

December 22, 2005

a question..

Why do I keep getting sick?

I threw up at work today and spent most of the day in bed...sleeping...feeling a little less dreadful now...but my wonderment still remains?! What am I doing wrong?

December 21, 2005

good quotes thus far...( again)

Yes, I havent posted quotes from my latest reading of Lord of the Rings in a fact, I took a giant break from reading it...but after reading three other books I am finally back...and it good :-)
So, without further are a few more of the tidbits that stood out to me, either because they were just TOO beautiful or they spoke directly to my own life...ENJOY!

"(Gimli), hearing the names given in his own ancient tongue, looked up and met her eyes; and it seemed to him that he looked suddenly into the heart of an enemy and saw there love and understanding."

"...yet when he tried to repeat (the Elves song) to Sam only snatches remained, faded as a handful of withered leaves."

" ( Lothlorien) is like being at home and on a holiday at the same time, if you understand me. I dont want to leave."

"Seeing is both good and perilous."

"I count you blessed, Gimli son of Gloin, for your loss you suffer of your own free will, and you might have chosen otherwise, But you have not forsaken your companions, and the least reward that you shall have is that the memory of Lothlorien shall remain ever clean and unstained in your heart, and shall neither fade nor grow stale."

"'It would seem like wisdom but for the warnding of my heart.'
'Warning? What warning?', said Boromir sharply.
'Against delay. Against the way that seems easier. Against refusal of the burden that is laid on me. Against-well, if it must be said, against trust in the strength and truth of Men.'"

"Suddenly he was aware of himself again. Frodo, neither the Voice nor the Eye: free to choose, and with one remaining instant in which to do so. He took the Ring off his finger."

"( The Riders of Rohan) are proud and wilful, but they are true-hearted, generous in thought and deed; bold but not cruel; wise but unlearned, writing no books but singing many songs, after the manner of the children of Men before the Dark Years."

"(Aragorn) seemed to have grown in stature while Eomer had shrunk; and in his living face they caught a brief vision of the power and majesty of the kings of stone."

"As he ever has judged,' said Aragorn, 'Good and ill have not changed since yesteryear; nor are they one thing among Elves and Dwarves and another among Men. It is a man's part to discern them, as much in the Golden Wood as in his own house."

"As they walked they compared notes, talking lightly in hobbit-fashion of the things that had happened since their capture. No listener would have guessed from their words that they had suffered cruelly, and been in dire peril going without hope towards torment and death; or that even now, as they knew well, they had little chance of ever finding freind or safety again."

" One felt as if there was an enormous well behind ( Treebeard's eyes), filled up with ages of memory and long, slow steady thinking, but their surfact was sparkling with the present; like sun shimmering on the outer leaves of the vast tree or on the ripples of a very deep lake."

" ( Old Entish) is a very lovely language, but it takes a very long time to say anything in it, because we do not say anything in it, unless it is worthy taking a long time to say, and to listen to."

" I cannot remember that ( Saruman) ever told me anything. And he got more and more like that, his face, as I remember it-I have not seen it in many a day-became like windows in a stone wall; windows with shutters inside."

" I must cool myself and think; for it is easier to shout stop! than to do it."

December 20, 2005

Joy cometh in the morning..

Hormones anyone? Except no...I dont think that is what this about... Holidays anyone?

I wanted to cry all day yesterday. I mean, sure I had some reasons but I dont think I would have normally CRIED about them...but I wanted to yesterday.
So yesterday morning as I crawled out of bed in the darkness I remembered my prayer the night before. "Lord help me to be joyful." I've really been convicted as of late to not let the stress and bad-attitudes of those I work around to rub off on my so much.
So, I guess its not reeeeally suprising that I would be hit so hard with "desparing" mornings after trying to change my ways ;-) Ah, we do have an adversary dont we!?
BUT! The Lord is SO good...out of that seeming darkness the Lord blessed me with a friend to help me fight.
Not even KNOWING about my particular vow to feel more joy about this holiday and for the RIGHT reasons-Tabitha has begun a delightful plan of emailing me everyday with a True Reason for Christmas...a TRUE reason to be joyful about!

So, this morning I almost cried again! But this time it was because of Beauty...because of the Truth of the Word of God...Because of the Lords fulfillment of prophecy...and what that MEANS!
Strangely enough I have been drawn to this chapter of Isaiah all weekend! Well, I guess its not THAT strange ;-) But, here is what Tabitha reminded me of this morning!

Isaiah 40
Comfort for God's People
1 Comfort, comfort my people,
says your God.
2 Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and proclaim to her
that her hard service has been completed,
that her sin has been paid for,
that she has received from the LORD's hand
double for all her sins.

3 A voice of one calling:
"In the desert prepare
the way for the LORD [a] ;
make straight in the wilderness
a highway for our God.

December 19, 2005


Me: Do you have the 5th Season of Gilmore Girls to rent?
Guy: you know when it came out?
Me: Why yes, it came out LAST Tuesday.
Guy: Oh...( looks it up on computer)....well, yes I think we have it in the back.
Me: Oh?
Guy: We are putting them on the shelves tonight
( I look at the guy as though I KNOW he is going to make the right decision)
Guy: you want me to go GET it out of the back?
Me: Why YES! that sounds like an excellent idea.
Guy: Just the first disk?
Me: Um...weeeellll....the first THREE would be better...buut...

And this is how I ended up on the couch all evening...well, that and my movie plans falling through.

I feel blue.

December 18, 2005

All I want for Christmas...

So, oddly enough there are some things I really miss this Christmas season- its odd because technically I am "home" for Christmas so things should be good, right?
Well, most of my "christmas memories" are actually packed away in a storage parents storage room to be exact.
I know, its actually strange how MUCH I miss things like the Nativity Scene that is panted on a blocks for kids to play with...or the little "christmas village" that always sat on the china cabinet but I really really miss these things....BUT, the things I miss the most are my mom's christmas cooking ( which is why I baked cookies yesterday) and most importantly:
Corrie's Christmas Memories By Corrie Ten Boom....this book is truly wonderful, it has five ( I think) different Christmas stories...or rather, four different accounts of THE Christmas story and one "Christmas-y" story...they are beautifully written and never ever fail to remind me of the TRUE reason for this, what has turned insane, time of year. How did it get so FAR from the REAL reason!?
Anyway, I miss that book dearly this season......and it wouldnt take me long to give it a good read if you're reading this, and you just so happen to have a copy or know where I could get on short notice ( as in, before Christmas Eve) I would really really appreciate it. Sometimes I am suprised at how things can strangely effect you so much...but I miss this book ever so much!

But, in a more "unselfish" tone...I do recommend buying this book if you have a chance, I promise will be come a VALUABLE part of your Christmas traditions....

December 17, 2005

holiday cheer

Only three things were in the mail today, but they all turned out to be EXCELLENT:
1. An American Girl Catalogue....looking at little girls dream dolls makes me a happy.
2. A check from SBC...our rebate from way back in August! Better late than never!! WOOOO.
3. The electic bill...and sure, bills are never a good thing...but it was 32 dollars and something cents! WHOOOOAAAA! that is SOOOO LOOOOOW!

*sigh* I guess its nice that we practically live by the light of christmas lights and dont need the air-conditioning! ;-)

So, today was a nice day:
work was a little long and drawn out-but it was followed by a positively AWESOME lunch at the Tousha's for Jame's graduation. Seriously, it was the best food I've eaten in....well, its kinda sad to admit just how long...but anyway, it was great-and the company wasnt bad either. hehe.

I went home and vacumned the apartment even though I SWORE I wasnt going to clean this weekend...meeeeh! once you get started you cant stop! I also wrapped some Christmas presents...and listened to Johnny Cash.

I am going to pause for a moment and ask how everyone is liking this blow-by-blow account of my day? Good? Informative?
Are you DYING to know more?!

Ok, enough of the questions that no one will actually answer
THEN...I had prayer-time-with-Carmi in my room until 6. These times are always a blessing to me, and I am SO glad we were able to talk before she left for Hong Kong....( a little side note: So, the movie King Kong came out this weekend...and everytime I try and say the title of this movie I accidently say "hong kong" instead...its sort of embarrassing!)
Then, I....
Baked some Christmas cookies....went to prayer meeting....convinced Meredith to go to a get-together at Thomas's...went to said gathering...had delightful conversation and delightful hot coco.... I am here sitting on my bed at 9:50... I only lasted thirty minutes longer than yesterday before putting my PJs on....*sigh* hahahahah! You could say I am not even TRYING to stay out late! :-P

Just realized my PJ pants are on insideout. doesnt matter...they work either way...

Goodnight dear friends...

December 16, 2005

is this a GOOD thing?!

So, here I am...its about 9:15 on Friday night...and I've come home after a delightful evening with my parents and sister watching Johnny Depp be the best pirate ever ( you know the one..hehe) whilest eating hamburgers and laughing at funny family things...
And now I am home, happy as a lark...thinking about curling up with Two Towers again...
So, my question it normal for a girl of 22 to be so very HAPPY being home alone on friday and saturday nights?!
who even cares...I've never been one for normal anyway.

Of course, if I become a total recluse someone WILL tell me right?

a little change...

I changed my blog today ( for those of you reading on bloglines)...I decided I needed a slight color change, less bright...anyway, the blue is darker and I got rid of the yellow entirely...what do you think?

In other news, I am really tired today...I need a rest from the hussle and bussle of this "holiday season". Which I think is ironic since i have NO holiday at all. meh, its not a big deal, really...
Though, I will admit to a SLIGHT feeling of jealousy when I popped back to my apartment on the way from "coffee with papa" to work today find Katie curled up on the couch watching DVDs...*sigh* While I dont miss exams and such, I DO miss the holiday that comes after ;-)

December 15, 2005

Under the twinkle lights...

Tonight, as I pray so many dear ones come to mind! How I love these brothers and sisters! My heart delights in their lives! Sometimes, I feel so honored to have such friends, such fellowship. Sometimes, I long to be with those who I am so far from in the physical realm...but above all I am grateful for a Lord who first loved us, that all this would be even POSSIBLE!!! ( 1 John 4:19)

I dedicate this to my dear friends who have not shyed away from my flaws...and those who have trusted me enough to show me their scars....

You look at me
and see
my flaws;
I look at you
and see
flaws too.
Those who love,
know love
a second glance;
each failure serves
another chance.
Love looks to see
beyond the scars
and flaws
the cause;
the scars become
an honorable badge
of battles fought
and won-
(or lost)
but fought!
The product,
not the cost
is what love sought.
God help us see
beyond the now
to the before
and note with tenderness
what lies between
-and love the more!
~ Ruth Bell Graham

Screaming ducks!

I just gave my guardian angels a fright....well, *i* didnt...but some jerk in a truck pulling a huge trailer did....
He pulled RIGHT out in front of me when I was right on top of him...
It is a miracle the people behind me didnt slam into me.
It is a miracle I didnt slam into stupid truck man.
It is a miracle I didnt over-correct and slam into the guy in the oncoming lane.


I feel lucky....yet very shaky :-(

December 14, 2005

I've been tagged!

have been tagged by Merrisa...

Here are five weird habits that I have:
1. I often imagine throwing water in peoples faces when I talk to them.
2. When I brush my teeth in the morning I hum to myself.
3. When I call someone on the phone I often find myself holding my breath until the person answers...this COULD get really dangerous ;-)
4. I wrinkle my nose when I smile, especially when I'm nervous.
5. Whenever I see a duck I SCREAM...( this isnt true...but it would definitely be weird if it was true!)
Now I get to tag 6 people to do the same on their Blog/Xanga.
I tag...Justin, Sam, Sarah, Jordan, Paul aaaaannnnnnddddddd Sunshine.

Here are the rules: You must write 5 weird habits you have on you're Blog/Xanga. Then you must Tag 6 other people to do the same on theirs. Let them know you tagged them too.
Tell them to read your Blog/Xanga for instructions...That's it...

three isnt a crowd...

So, it seems I cant break three comments as of late, meh...I'm not complaining...some of those said comments have been excellent-ly long ;-)

Yesterday, I bought a new cell phone ( ahahahahah! brandspankin new! 30 bucks! New Zealand cell phone companies, eat your heart out!)-its excellent, I love it...its shiny and was my present to myself. :-)

Things are going pretty good, rather busy...but good. I woke up this morning and it was dark and I was sluggish...I really thought it was like 5am or something, I kept checking my clock to make sure it really WAS was. I think it was because it was sun. Plus, I was up a little late reading The Two Towers

I have nothing else to say, I started a few sentences and deleted them because they were lame and I got bored by just writing them.
This is obviously not going to be the post the break that "three oreos" record.

December 12, 2005

a happy new year...

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and shall not fear when heat comes, but her leaf will be green and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit. Jer 17:7-8

yes, it has been ONE year since that day when I cried buckets in the Christchurch airport...and then for a good hour and a half in the air until my eyes felt like sandpaper and all I could do was watch Princess Diaries 2....that's pretty crazy, because it REALLY does feel like yesterday in SO many ways!
But, its been a year, and I was going through my journals tonight and I was once again amazed at all that has happened. The verse there at the top of this post was really important to me for the first couple of months back and I think it does speak volumes about the Grace of God...and how Faithful He was this year in my life.
Because, in reading through 3.5 journals full of prayers, through more heartache than I've ever faced, through some of the HARDEST days of my life...The Lord never forsake, He never left, He never failed.

This year I faced loneliness like never before. I went from having CONSTANT fellowship with people I could pray with, get advice from, get hugs and encouragment in abundance to...well, none of that. Not to say God didnt give me fellowship in Texas He has...but its been different. And I to tell you the truth I am THANKFUL for that loneliness because from it I learned more about God in that solitude that I think I would have EVER learned from having constant companionship.

This year I faced rejection. Looking for a job is nasty business. I still hate thinking about it, for one thing I know my life is probably going to be full of future job hunts. But God really helped me on that road. He gave me encouragment from His word when I just wanted to sleep all day...He gave me a friend who was dealing with the exact same thing, which was extremely helpful ( Kristy, I am continually thankful for your friendship...) and above all He showed me how much His hand was on my life. In the end, I can honestly say that when I finally got my job it was on none of my own awesome prowess...or my amazing resume (CV) ....or my totally amazing interview outfit. Nope, it was just God using His people ( aka. Tom Dudley mentioned me to his Doctor friend at JUST the right moment.) Yes, in the end the fear of rejection was a moot point...I ended up with EXACTLY the job I was suppose to have, and all other jobs were just NOT meant to be.

This year I faced disappointment. I actually think disappointment is a pretty mild word for what actually happened, I think it was more like my heart broke...into several pieces...on several occasions. But, I had an amazing opportunity when that happened. In fact, I remember driving and having to pull over because I was crying so hard. As I sat there in my car, I prayed and asked God WHY this was happening? Why He had chosen not to answer all those prayers?! And then I remember the thought coming into my head of whether or not I was going to stick with this whole "believing" business...I mean, God had "obviously not come through on that one big what now?" and it was there in my car ( on an extremely uncomfortably hot night) that I realized it didnt matter WHAT happened. That I was going to trust God's good and perfect Will no matter what. It was huge in my life. I will never forget it. And I think that's a good thing...for one thing I know that hardships will come again, hopefully not like that...but even if something WORSE happens, I can still quote the hymn "It is well with my Soul" ...for the life of a Christian is not about having "my way" all the, its about "God's way becoming MY way" matter what.

This year I faced sin. Yup, like I never had before. In a lot of ways I had come to the end of my rope when it came to a particular sin in my life, in fact, for a good two straight journals just about EVERY entry is a struggle...and battle that I felt I was loosing every day...but God gave victory. And I saw victory in a whole new light this year. Victory is something I have to choose EVERY SINGLE DAY. God gave me friends to confess to, to be accountable to, He gave His word to guide and direct me, ...but ultimately He gave His son....His son died for my Sin...and every single day I must choose to die to my sin as well....and I have to say its been one of the greatest personal victories of my life. And it happened this year.

This year I faced family and friends. In a whole new way...I talked about this in my last post...and I wont repeat that, I think I said it just how I wanted to, I am still reeling from that revelation! But, I am SO grateful for the people that God has put in my life this year...ultimately its been really wonderful to be so close to my family again, it has been very different to live with then as an adult! But, I have loved getting to know my parents and my sister on an "every day" level.
I think my friendship with my sister was one of the biggest surprises that this year brought. I had NO idea what I wonderful blessing that relationship would be in my life, but it has helped me trimendously. I was also given so many other lovely people to have fellowship with, to re-connect many great people from my has been an honor to fellowship with them again.

This year I faced my calling. Ultimately, my calling this past year was to be with my family through thick and thin....This year called for a lot from all of us-and while I think this particular "thick and thin" situation hasnt ended yet, I feel like God has helped me to be faithful to that. He has also helped me to re-evaluate what it means to pray for others. It has suprised me how much joy and satisfaction I can get from praying for something that I may NEVER get to see the results from ( in person that is!)...not to mince words...this year the things that I was called to do were things I DIDNT WANT TO DO. yup, as you read in my last post..I didnt want to "sit at home and pray for people" and I didnt want to come back to texas...I think all those people that say, " God will call you to do something that you LOVE." is not exactly true...I mean, sure, God gives us passions for a reason...but, sometimes He calls us to do things we wouldnt have chosen to do. But this year, God has been so kind. He has made this "hardship" not a hardship at all. I have found so many wonderful rewards in doing just those very things...that I almost feel silly reminding you that I DIDNT want to do them!

Soooo, I dont know what this next Post-New Zealand year holds...but one thing I have learned is NEVER EVER put such things in a box. For one thing, the wrapping paper would cost a fortune. But, also, this year has held SO many unlooked for events...both hardships and great joys ( I got a job, I was visited by several wonderful friends, I went to Italy, I got an name just a few) all of which I can see God's hand in. So, I give God this upcoming year with the same Assurance..... for whatever will be Well with my Soul.

Thanks to everyone who has been with me in body...all my wonderful friends here in Texas...I treasure you. You make my nights and weekends fun ;-)
Thanks to everyone who has been with me in spirit....all my wonderful friends in other places...I delight in you. Your emails, phone calls, MSN messages and smoke signals season my life.

Some of the many many words of encouragment I got this year in time of need....

"I sought the Lord and He heard me, He delivered me from all my fears." Ps 34:4

"It has not yet been revealed what we shall be..." I john 3:3

"The ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He ponders all his paths." Prov 5:21

"The Lord is my strength, my shield." Ps 28:7

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." Ecc 3:11

"My times are in Your hand." Ps 31:15

"Faith never knows where it is being led, it loves and knows the One who is leading." ~ I dont know...

"He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold and I shall not be greatly shaken." Ps 62:2

"Lead on, O King Eternal, we follow not with fears! For gladness breaks like morning wherever Thy face appears..." ~ Ernest Shurtleff

December 11, 2005

long awaited...

So, this weekend was very busy, yet in a good way....two movies watched-P&P ( which I had already seen..but it was wonderful, yet again!) and then on Saturday I saw Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe...
I know many people that havent seen it yet, and wouldnt want me to ruin it-so all I will say is I wanted to cry the whole time....mostly because it was so beautiful, and because it was as if my OWN childhood imagination had come alive. Wonderful.

Other highlights of the weekend was finishing up some christmas shopping...still more to go, but I am feeling more "on top of things" than I did last week....I also had some lovely chats with Tabitha and Sam...did my heart some serious good :-)

OK, so I know i havent been really "indepth" as of late-thats mostly because I've been in some sort of a "funk"...a spiritual one of sorts...but not really...I dont even know how to discribe it, but the results were a not-so-wordy-Abbey...and for that I'm sorry! hehe.
However, in the past day or so I've been overrun with things I want to post about-which is fun, but also a bit overwhelming. The general topic is that on Tuesday, I will have been in the States for ONE WHOLE YEAR ( minus a trip to italy for ten days..) but I've "lived" here that whole time..and that's really the point of this little milestone. I'd sort of dreaded the one year mark for a couple of reasons...but mostly just one and in the past few days I realize it was "no longer a problem" anymore which was sort of an amazing miracle and I will now share it with you! :-)

( oh, and I just "talked this out on the phone" with Emma so I think it will now be a bit more clear that it would have been if it had just come STRAIGHT from my brain-which is lucky for you! heehe)

We must go all the way back to 2003 to begin this little account, it was at Cutting Edge Design Weekend and I was having a really awesome prayer time. God was really putting intercessory prayer on my heart in an even bigger way, and the first reactions I had were, sad to say, a bit on the scared side...and my Flesh immediately cried out in prayer that day was "Oh lord, of course, I will pray for your people...but please, oh please do not forget me! Please dont let "life pass me by" while I pray for the lives of others!!"
I was actually afraid of this, I felt like God was going to drop me in a "boring place" and i would rot there....yes, i know....silly right, because any Christian should is NEVER boring with God...but, I just wanted to set that fear up for you so you'd know the background.

Anyway, jumping forward to 2004...I was leaving New Zealand ( my grand adventure) and I was going back to Texas ( boring place) and while i KNEW it was where God wanted me to be, I was once again afraid...I was afraid of a boring life once again...
On my last Sunday in New Zealand ( and consequently at Elim) I went up and was prayed is the tradition of all students that leave the church to go off into the un-dunedin world after graduation or whatever....the day when by in a whirlwind but at the Dunedin Airport when I had said my goodbyes to Kristy and Bing I waited to board the aircraft and I wrote down the words that people spoke during that prayer time....many of them were re-enforcements of what I already knew I was about to face...I KNEW what I was going home to, and these words helped me greatly...but there was one that I felt was just "totally wrong" but I wrote it down anyway:
"I see you on a big highway traveling...the concrete is the firm foundation you have in Christ, but you will definitely be traveling a LOT..and very soon!"

Ah-HA! I thought, I know for a FACT I will be living in Texas for a least a few this word is totally wrong.
I got on that plane and took off on a roller-coaster ride of sorts....I can still remember vividly those first few weeks back in the states. Some of the hardest things I've ever faced, were faced RIGHT time to settle, no time to get situated, to get my footing back...and in the midst of "life" I forgot about that "totally wrong" word that I had gotten back in Dunedin.

Until yesterday...

I was praying about this past year, and all that God has brought me through...its truly amazing really. And something I plan to continue talking about in upcoming posts...but as I was praying that word came back to me. And as PLAIN as DAY...I finally understood what it meant!
This year I have travelled more than I have in my whole life. I've travelled thousands of miles in one day...I've gone all over the world in an instant. For, I am truly learning the power of the Lord. Even after a year I feel close to many dear friends, as though I saw them yesterday...and how is this possible?! The answer: i can honestly say I battle with my friends. I stand with them in fights and battles...I rejoice with their victories...I cry with their struggles. God has taught me that you really CAN be with someone through prayer! Yes, the concrete of my highway is the Lord...He is my very means of transportation. And while, I feel sure that one day I will see these dear ones again...I am also actually able to Rest in the fact that my lot is to pray for them in my ( what turns out to be...NOT) "boring place"...and finally....I am ok with that. Finally, I no longer fight against what I have been called to do. The Lord is faithful, and while I know my feathers will be rubbed the wrong way in the future...for that is the way of the, today, I have seen, I have seen the faithfulness of my Father-He has changed my thinking about "time" and "space" forever....and THAT is one of the things I am most thankful for when looking back on 365 days in Nacogdoches Texas...

More to come...

December 10, 2005


Its 9:30 on a Saturday night and I can think of NO better way to spend my time than how I am spending it RIGHT NOW.

Curled up in my PJs listening to Handel's Messiah and knitting....

Louise, I miss would be fun to talk to you right now.

December 09, 2005



Looked forward to having a "girls night" with the Dudly Sisters and the McClure Sisters...we are going to see Pride and Prejudice. Yay! I am wwwaaaay looking forward to this!

I painted my nails red, havent done so in months and months because one of my doctors got "upset" last time when a bit of red rubbed off on his light board when I hung x-rays....*sigh* But, I figure it will make me happy all weekend and then I'll remove it for work on monday :-)

Listening to "Mi Macherai" from the Il Postino soundtrack (this song is also feat. on the Lady in the Water trailer) is incredibly sad, but wonderful...

Watched Cary Grant's Mr. Blanding Builds His Dream House.....delightfully classic. But, I suggest my parents do not watch this movie until AFTER they've finished building their home(s)...the movie made me stress about money throughout the whole thing. ( though, I will say...they build a HUGE mansion for like 30k....a fantastic deal in my opinion....hehehe)

Cleaned the bathroom...and made a list of all the cleaning products I need to re-stock in the apartment.

Went shopping for Christmas presents...faced another setback, seems my overseas gifts are going to be later and later....blast!

Stood on my balcony and breathed in the cold air....then went back inside to the WARMTH of central heating...something that I will Never-Ever take for granted again thanks to New Zealand and their backwards ways ;-)

Listened to the cutest little boy stand outside his apartment yelling "Santa Claus" over and over and over was cute for the first twenty odd times.

Played with the "floppy-eared" dog that lives downstairs...not to be confused with the "evil" dog that lives next door....

December 08, 2005 much more so.

Tonight, I went to the community/SFA production of the Messiah ( not the whole thing...but lots of good bits) and I must say, it stirred my made me think of Heaven...and I was reminded of this, that I read last night in The Fellowship of the Ring
"It's like being at home and on a holiday at the same time, if you understand me. I dont want to leave."

Yes, that is what Heaven will be like but so much more so...and, my dear readers, if there is ANY WAY you can go and listen to the Messiah so, and think that one day we will rejoice will Angels on High...just like that...but so much more so.

I can hardly wait...

Papa sent me this article this morning...and I'm sharing it with you now:
A Marvelous Excursion in the Lion's Kingdom

December 07, 2005

Short and sweet?!

So, have you noticed how short my posts have been of late? So far this month I've only had one substantial post....but, then, no one has seemed to mind too much. ;-)
I think everyone is probably just as busy and distracted as I am by this month of "holidays" and "seasons greetings".
I've had a lot on my mind, but then, nothing I want to talk about really....

Today, being my day off...and then becoming yet another "sick day"...I didnt get ANY of the things i wanted done today! Boo! I hope my christmas packages get overseas in time for Christmas! I am going to have to send them on Friday now, if then! :-(
I also didnt take my dry-cleaning to the dry-cleaners...and I didnt clean the house.
Meh, life still seems to be on continuing just fine.

But, lets talk about "nice things"...first of all, I watched Its a Wonderful Life today...and oh yes, it is STILL as wonderful as ever...I DID have tears literally streaming down my face. Go. Watch it.
I also have finally moved on from the evils of bad shampoo...yes, there IS such a thing as really really bad shampoo...and when you have hair like mine ( aka. a LOT of it) you can not afford to have really gross cheap shampoo....I am back with "designer" shampoo as of today and I already feel better. I have learned one good thing from this dreadful three weeks-of-bad-hair-days, is that you really DO get what you pay for when it comes to hair products. Since I do not use gel or hairspray or anything else in my hair I think I can splurg on this one thing and not feel TOO decadent ;-)

So, while I was lying in bed "not moving" today...I did what I do every month...I copy my blog into a word really HUGE word document. After saving November in the archives of "forever", I did a little reading of 2004...and even the beginning of 2005. It was really interesting, I mean, January of this year seems like just yesterday, but when I actually went back and read it-I felt like a totally different person. So strange. I was also a little shocked at how MUCH I really DID tell my blog...hahahah! I guess I get kind of caught up in the moment and just PURGE! ah well, keeps me honest right? ;-)

Ahhh....speaking of purging, I am feeling a bit better, and I am planning on working a ten hour day tomorrow-here's hopin. Please pray for me if you get the chance.


i caught the evil stomache bug from my parents.

I am lying veeeery still trying not to throw up. i feel awful! But, at least its my day off. But, I had so much to do today! meeeeeeh.

December 06, 2005

wha' happened?

Seriously, "if I had a mind we could take it out and play with it...."

the wise words of my pawpaw....and that is exactly how I've been feeling today!
I lost my house key...and then I found it, but then I lost it again...and then I lost ALL of my keys...then I found my car keys again...but still no house key.


December 05, 2005

where oh, where has my little blog gone?

For some reason my blog won't come up...but I can still this is fun, since its likely no one will read this...

I am sure all will be as "it should be" in the morning...isnt it lovely, how things really are Better in the Morning?!

I love that.

"For when I am weak, then I am strong." II Cor 12:10

Zoolander is STILL funny...years later....and I can STILL quote just about every single line.
"Center for Kids who cant Read good and who want to learn how to do other things good too."-Classic.

a bad case of the mondays...

crazy day at work, not a moment to stop. But, when that moment did finally come along...I realized I'd lost my wallet (at least since Saturday) and that I STILL havent gotten that email reply I've been waiting around for all weekend...ummm....sometimes the whole "email conversation" stinks :-(

December 04, 2005

"making a list, checking it twice..."

I think who ever wrote that song, was actually thinking about how INSANELY busy December is...and how Santa MUST have to make a trillion lists, just like everyone else, to keep track of all the things he needs to do....

tonight I made four lists...and that's just for tomorrow.....

December will either kill me, or make me stronger :-)

December 03, 2005

parties and such

Whew! What a day! Its only 9:30...but I am totally going to bed after I write this!

After work this morning ( which went on until 11:30...during which time I had to have a Politics Talk...which we all know I absolutely HATE to talk about politics!)
I came home and frantically pulled myself together and headed to my sisters house to do last minute preparation for the Baby Shower for Trinity....I've gotta say I will throw a party with the Dudley girls any day of the week...they are fantastic, and I think all in all the day went well! ( which remind me to post the picture I took of my kitchen after I baked two desserts at once last wasnt pretty!)
Trinity got tons of cute stuff for the baby and there was MUCH of the oooooos and aaaaaaaaahs that should be expected ;-)

Then I rushed home to pull myself together again...( at home I found that Katie had gotten us a Christmas Tree...which is possibly the cutest tree ever...we definitely have a festive home now!) to get ready for the nacogdoches christmas parade.
The Dudley's were kind enough to let me go with them...which was great...I love their family, and I hadnt talked to Ms. Kim, inparticularly, in a long time...PLUS they have the GREATEST family connections! We ended up on the Greer's balcony looking down upon the parade...a perfect birds eye view of everything! Fantastic! I felt so blessed that my parade experience was so delightful! And I have to say....watching all the cute little kids was as fun as ever....seriously, there is nothing like Christmas through the eyes of a child!
Buuuut, in saying that, during the really awesome fireworks show that was right after the parade....( seriously, it went on for like twenty minutes and the finale was spectacular!) a little boy asked his mother if he could play with his "gameboy now"....oh my goodness!!!! What has happened to the youth of today that they dont even find FIREWORKS entertaining?!!
horrible, I tell you, horrible!

When I got home from the parade I called Sam back ( he left me the longest message in history on my cell) to celebrate 365 days of not seeing each other. hahahaha! It was good to talk to him, and I realized how fun it is to talk to him on the phone. I remember in Dunedin there was a period in time when we use to talk to each other on the was random because we lived two seconds down the road from each other-but somehow "little" phone calls would turn into long ones....and in thinking about it, I think some people are just reeeeally good phone people. I think it has something to do with inflection in the voice and that you can tell when people are joking and making "a point"....and I swear you can even since facial expressions....anyway, sam is one such person...which is handy since talking to him on the phone is about the only contact I'm gonna have! hahaha!

So, now, I've caught you up to the minute of me and my weekend fun....tomorrow I have to work again, but I'm hoping I make it to the second service at church, at least....I also hope its cooler, because, come on! its UNSEASONABLE out there! :-(

December 02, 2005

over thinking..

You know what I wish? I wish that there was some totally amazing person that I could go to and tell problems-they would have the great and awesome Wisdom to tell me exactly what to do...and I would do it...and then they would tell me what to think...and I would think it...yes, that would be cool. Then I wouldnt have to doubt my thoughts and my actions. Woo.
Yes, I need a King Solomon. Where is he when you need him?

In other news, I got a Christmas bonus today from Dr.X.
He is definitely #1 in my book today.

In other-other news, I got a free flu shot today...I felt sort of sick afterwards, but I think it was because of an email I received, rather than the shot.

In other-other-other news, this weekend is stockfull of things that must be done-and somehow I need to fit some Christmas shopping inbetween baking for a Baby Shower, putting on a Baby shower, working and a Christmas parade. Its delightful when the only "bad" thing is the working...

Not so sure...

If this is accurate...
You are a

Social Liberal
(60% permissive)

and an...

Economic Moderate
(50% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

December 01, 2005

Why I love December...

Thank you to Trinity for having a very helpful calendar ;-) And reminding me to tell you WHY I love this month
Granted most of my reasons have to do with Christmas...but its still what December is allll about.

1. You can listen to Christmas music all the time.
2. Singing classic Christmas Hymns in church
3. Christmas cards.
4. The smells....evergreen,cinnamon,gingerbread...
5.Lights...lots and lots of twinkle is as if everyone is throwing a party-all the time.
6. The Christmas parade downtown (its this weekend) with all the cute excited kids.
7. Fireworks...both on Christmas and New Years Eve.
8. Friends coming home for the holidays.
9. Buying presents for people that you KNOW they will love.
10. Writing little personal messages in Christmas cards.
11. Christmas candles.
12. The Christmas story
13. getting more mail than usual ( christmas cards!)
14. It at least PRETENDS to get cooler in Texas
15. The end of another year ( and I've gotta say, I'll be very happy to see this one go!) and the anticipation of a new one to come.

November 30, 2005

Definition of today...

Disconsolate (adjective):Cheerless, Dejected, Downcast.

THAT is how I was feeling described me perfectly.

But, then tonight, at church...the hymn Come, Ye Disconsolate was requested...and it just sang to my heart.
I share it with you tonight...for all those feeling "out of sorts" in whatever way...I hope you realize who brings the Answer to all.

Come, you Disconsolate. whatever you languish-come to the Mercyseat, fervently kneel, Here bring your wounded hearts, here tell your anguish: Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.

Joy of the desolate, Light of the straying, Hope of the penitent, fadeless and pure! Here speaks the Comforter, tenderly saying, "Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot cure."

Here see the Bread of Life, see waters flowing Forth from the throne of God, pure from above, come to the feast of love, come ever knowing Earth has no sorrow that heaven can remove.

"Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal."...Papa mentioned those words again after the hymn was over...he said them with a sense of wonder in his voice...and truly it IS amazing! Such a big statement...especially when i think of all the sadness, confusion, pain that is in this world....and yet, our God IS that big....and yet, not too big not to care for the tiniest worry on our hearts!


I've got my memories on the bookshelf.

The Berenstein Bear's author dies.
I've gotta say I'm kinda sad about this.

nose spray..

is seriously AMAZING.

I mean, I was lying in bed sniffling and sneezing...and I just wanted to SLEEP...when I remembered my nose spray.
Of course, after using it I couldnt sleep because I was so incredibly amazed by its ability to clear ones nose. I mean, I'll say it again: SERIOUSLY, its amazing!

Why have I been having SUCH trouble sleeping? I got home last night just DYING to go straight to bed, but I had to wait and talk to Lydia on the phone ( which was SO worth it by the by)...however, after that...I was WIDE AWAKE...for what seemed like hours.
In other news, today, I realized something stupid I did earlier this week ( yes, it is only wednesday) which I THOUGHT ( well, only when I wasnt being honest) was totally harmless is now going to turn into possible drama. BOO! I hate that! And I have no one to blame but myself.

I know what this person thinks, I know how they feel...a simple "hey, can you answer this question?" email written when bored can be interrupted as JUST ABOUT ANYTHING...and I really should have known that.
Lesson I neeeeeeed to leeeeeearn: Playing with other peoples emotions isnt cool. Ever.
Im a jerk.

November 29, 2005


Sometimes I can be SUCH a dork....
On the plus side, I have very nice, and patient friends.

Yes, those two things ARE related.

I put up some twinkle lights in my room...but, they look "unsymetrical"...i dont know how to fix bothers me.

the one.

My nose is running like the boston marathon. I have one kleenex left. Its 2pm...the odds of this baby lasting until 5 are slim to none...
Which bring me to the irony that, since this is a hospital you would THINK they would have soft kleenex...but, you would be wrong. Its like rubbing your nose on sandpaper and rocks....but looks like I'll be inviting those rocks over for tea in the next few minutes...

"bless you"

Yup, sandpaper here I come.

Nostalgia wins the day!

Today, I had an hour off at 11am to go buy Christmas cards...which took longer than expected and the selection was slim...BUT, in that time I had a fun conversation about New Zealand with the owners of The Good Book...a cute little Christian bookstore downtown..which was well worth it. I realized that, at the risk of boring people, I try not to talk about my experiences very much. Its odd. But, I always feel like, since its SO important to me, I would just go overboard if I ever got started talking about it....meh. Anyway, it was nice.
Then, after buying some Christmas presents and ordering others ( why are all the good books never in stock?!) I went to Hastings..and you wont believe my good luck! I found a Special Edition, two disk DVD of Disney's Beauty and the Beast for the grand price of $13.99....oh, I was happy! I also bought Amy Grant's Home for the Holidays Christmas CD...the tape of this particular Christmas selection was one that I positively ran into the ground during the 90s. I put it in and was immediately transported back in time. Delightful.
In other nostalgic news, I've done two Code Crackers today...thanks to Bing and his thoughtfulness! I've gotta say, the United States is missing out on this particular word puzzle delight...However, today while doing the very first one I was reminded of many moments of procrastination, sitting in the House Tutor Lounge at Carrington trying...or standing in the lunch line holding the torn-out entertainment section of the Otago Daily delightful.

A snippet

By. Ruth Bell Graham

"Pray when in the mood, it is sinful to neglect such an opportunity. Pray when not in the mood, it is dangerous to be in such a condition."

when all your soul
a tiptoe stands
in wistful eagerness
to talk with God;
put out your hands,
God bends to hear;
it would be a sin
not to draw near.

when gray inertia
creeps through your soul,
as though a man
who fights the cold,
then growing languid
and slumbering
knows not
it is death.

when swamped
with sin and shame
and nowhere else
to pin the blame
but your own will
and waywardness;
God knows you,
loves you nonetheless.



Each verse speaks to me with more power and each one seems to speak more about ME....oh, how easily I fall. How easily I fail.
But, He is ever gracious to minister. To forgive. To speak.

November 28, 2005

Always Prepared?

Last night after a hilarious round of The Panel...I layed in bed and starred at walls. I couldnt sleep for ages and I was really hot. Not sure why, the heat was turned off..and it was getting colder outside. But, I was hot...and I couldnt sleep.
I went through various "thought options" in my head and it seemed every topic was off limits.
Off limits because it would just make me MORE awake. One such topic....
"Its almost been a year." (*)

In other news, despite the lack of sleep I got up at 8 and had coffee with my papa and my sister. It was a good thing since right when I was about to leave to do some shopping- Kristy called. Woo! Made me happy, also since I was going to email her today!
Sometimes I actually think we are connected to our friends in more ways than we realize. How else do such things happen? Going to write Louise and email and finding one from her already in the Inbox...
Is it really just coincidence? I like to think not.

Back to work today. Just realized that I got the better end of the stick when I said I would work Christmas...poor D. is practically just getting a normal weekend off...Although I am STILL bummed about missing Church on Christmas day. I am now officially praying for a Christmas Miracle so I can go.

Who else feels like time is flying by without much thought? I cant believe its almost December! which bring me back to (*).
So, on the 13th of December it will be exactly one year since I left New Zealand for the last time. How crazy! It blows my little mind! I want to do something fun/exciting/thought provoking/encouraging to celebrate...Any ideas? You have about two weeks to think about it-so let me know!

November 27, 2005

Back to work.

My four day "holiday" is almost over...back to work tomorrow...which, also sinks MORE because I just found out that I'm the "late girl" again this week...something about getting a holiday and the other girl didnt or something...whatever. BOO! I hate being the late girl...sleeping late is overrated anyway because of the stupid evil dog down stairs. :-( Ah well, I'll just get up early and go have coffee with my papa and my sister. Yes, that'll make it better.

OK, bitter much? hehehe...sorry about that. I didnt mean to rant. My holiday was lovely apart from the cold which is sllloooowly getting better. So I shouldnt complain should I?
Anyway, I added a new link over on the side bar of this blog...please read the Cutting Edge Missions blog which will be updated every so often-hopefully it will remind you to pray for these dear people on their missions trips. :-)
Tonight was a special night at church, heard from a couple who've been long time members of our church who are going to Kenya for a year as missionaries. It was really wonderful to hear their heart for missions but more importantly see their obedience to the call that God has placed on their hearts. It was a special message because its something we can ALL think about, ya know? Made me think about how obedient I am in what God has called ME to do! Makes me think...

November 26, 2005


So, as a girl I have to be careful. Well, probably boys have to be careful too...but probably in different ways...but *i* have to be careful not to watch too many romantic movies or it gives me "ideas" and I want to go out immediately and find myself a HHB....( read the above in a dramatic, a little over the top manner and you've got the idea)....BUT...I make exceptions to my rules when it comes to Jane Austen.

I saw the new version of Pride and Prejudice today... and its very good. While one can never stop loving the 6 hour A&E version ( read:COLIN FIRTH) I will make room for this new rendition...and I do so, because while there had to be generious cutting done to fit it into just two hours, I felt the "spirit" of the book remained...and I actually enjoyed the little "artist's interpretations" that made it very satisfying and delightful.
My favorite things about this newest version of one of my favorite books:

Mr. Colins-he was hilarious and incredibly short...just as he should be.
The first proposal-talk about "whoa" was electric...and I actually liked it better than the second one ;-)
Jane-She wasnt nearly as "boring and dull" as I felt she was in the A&E version...and I have to say this actress was BEAUTIFUL and gave ol' Keryia a run for her money in the hotness department.
The scene between Elizabeth and Mr. Bennett at the end...I nearly cried...its one of those extremely touching moments between a father and his daughter-and I loved it.
And...last but not least Mr. Darcy walking in the fog...that scene could have gone on forever in my personal opinion. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. ;-)

OK, so there you go....that's enough romance for a while...I'll have to have some realism really soon or I'll have to give another "being single is cool" speeches just to remind myself that Mr. Darcy is FICTION. :-P

November 25, 2005

To get in the mood...

White Christmas...this movies is a classic-and the music makes you want to go caroling or something equaling daring... until you remember you CANT sing and your waist isnt as tiny as the character Judy Haynes ;-)
Its a Wonderful Life This movie never fails to make me cry lots of happy tears-it restores faith in mankind...Jimmy Stewart will do that to you.
Miracle on 34th StreetI actually like this remake version better than the orginal-the little girl is particularly endearing...and the scene where all of NYC hangs "we believe" signs everywhere makes you happy.
The Santa Clause This movies such fun! And come cool is the North Pole?!

Home Alone This movie is just fun...and I actually really like a bunch of Christmas song versions in this well as the idea of a big family all together for the holidays-no matter how disfunctional this particular family is.

Ok, so people...go out, rent these movies and prepare yourself for the holiday know, in looking back over these movies-I really can NOT imagine Christmas not being cold ( or at least suppose to be) and New Zealand do you have summer-y christmas movies?! I would love to know what you watch to get in the spirit...ooooor maybe since its summer you watch less movies during the holiday season than we do here since there isnt much to do action wise?! is that it?

and dont you forget it! ;-)

You scored as Captain Jack Sparrow. Roguish,quick-witted, and incredibly lucky, Jack Sparrow is a pirate who sometimes ends up being a hero, against his better judgement. Captain Jack looks out for #1, but he can be counted on (usually) to do the right thing. He has an incredibly persuasive tongue, a mind that borders on genius or insanity, and an incredible talent for getting into trouble and getting out of it. Maybe its brains, maybe its genius, or maybe its just plain luck. Or maybe a mixture of all three.

Captain Jack Sparrow


El Zorro


William Wallace




James Bond, Agent 007


Neo, the "One"


Indiana Jones


Batman, the Dark Knight


The Terminator


Lara Croft


The Amazing Spider-Man


Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with

manditory sick day.

why does this happen when you LEAST want it?!
I woke up this morning feeling awful. Sore throat, runny nose, achey allll over. So I spent the whole day on my couch and in bed. No Pride and Prejudice no saying goodbye to my grandfather....booooo!

One of the things I hate the most about being sick is the wierd body tempature...I am either waaay hot or waaaay cold. I just took a three hour long nap but I kept throwing off my covers...and then pulling them back on...and I felt all ekky when I finally woke up at 6pm. uggg.

One of the things that was really awesome about today, though...I went to get the mail and i had three packages stuffed into my mail box ( seriously, I had to work at getting them all out! they were WEDGED!)...I know I've told you this before...but I'll tell you again...I've got the greatest friends EVER! Kristy, Emma and Bing totally made my whole sick day! :-)

November 24, 2005

all day...

I've watched Cary Grant movies....but that doesnt stop me from thinking THIS movie is going to be WONDERFUL!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Looking forward to tomorrow's goodness...but since its already past midnight, I thought I'd take this opportunity to tell you what I am MOST thankful for and to remind YOU of its truths....

I John4:4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

Tell you alllll about it tomorrow :-) Because *i* am off from work for FOUR DAYS! I feel like a queen ;-)

November 23, 2005

birthday cake and coffee=


Yeah, work is sssssssslllllooooooooowwwwwwww.....I think all the doctors in town took off early for Thanksgiving. Not that I blame can one truly be thankful whilest working?

Anyway, the moral of the story is when I looked at my knitting this morning and decided not to bring it to work, that wasnt a smart move. Buuuuuut, I am thinking about taking a longish lunch break and going home to clean some of the apartment.. I cant remember the last time it was cleaned, which isnt a good sign.meeh. And since Katie's going out of town I doubt she's put "cleaning the apartment" on her priority list. ah well, somebodies gotta do it...and "somebody" is probably me.

In other news, tomorrow is thanksgiving ( for my non-united states readers) and the family is having thanksgiving dinner at, wait for it, my parents hotel! I KNOW....but apparently its suppose to be really good and "half the town goes" every year. Well, I guess its the half that I dont know well, because I've never heard of such a thing! But, it should be interesting. Although, seeing the Johnny Cash movie has made me randomly miss my cousin Joel a lot. I soooo hope we get to see him over Christmas! Along with the rest of the family....ahhhh holidays!

SO, yes, this thanksgiving is going to be interesting-and very much lacking in "tradition"..which in a lot of ways makes me a bit sad. I stand behind tradition like nothing else- and when thomas called last night to see if there was going to be a "family football game" I had to tell him no. Boo! I dont think I've mourned football so much in my life. ;-)

But, with that said, I'm looking forward to seeing my grandfather...and I'm looking forward to having time off from work....and I'm looking forward to hanging out with my brother-in-law, which I havent gotten to do in a while....I'm looking forward to catching up with friends on the phone who I havent talked to in a while, because I wont have to worry about staying up too late- because I can sleep in. woooo...gotta love different time zones, aye? ;-)
So, there is lots to be thankful for...and dear blog are high up on my "thankful" list. :-)
for my fellow americans, may your holiday be greatly blessed

November 22, 2005

I felt the love...

Yes, dear made my birthday SO special...I feel the warm fuzzies and I'm pretty sure they are going to stick with me for a long time to come :-)

Kristy, Thida, Lydia, Justin, Uncle Jim, PawPaw thanks for the phone messages, I'm so sad I missed you all!
Trinity and Nicole thanks for the phone calls!

Louise, Thida, Ryan, Justin S., Emma, Donnave, Sam, Gus, Mary, Anna, Paul, Sarah, Christa, Sunshine, Jordan and Tabitha...thank you muchly for the emails....

Carmi, thank you for the beautiful blog post

Aunty Gail, Mel and Meredith thanks for the blog comments...

Tonight I had a fantastic homecooked goodness fresh from Billie's kitchen...and the most AMAZING cake EVER! Having my family around is truly a gift that I could never ever trade.

I am overcome with your goodness and your love, I truly dont deserve it! :-)

Oh, and Thomas/Katie 's phone call was a nice suprise...and I just got an email from i guess i shouldnt have written my thank yous until midnight... ;-)

The circle of Life.

So, I was walking down the hall at work this morning...and I realized...that 22 years ago today, I was just right up stairs in the nursery. I was BORN in the hospital where I now work.

How far I've only be back where I began! :-P

November 21, 2005


I have to admit, I am writing this with a heavy heart tonight! I cant believe I have come to the end of my "golden birthday month" for tomorrow is my birthday...and tonight is my last chance to write about some of the many many people that have inspired and influenced my life....Its really been such a blessing to review these dear souls who have impacted me so so deeply...but the greatest delight is I havent even begun to scratch the surface of all the many dear ones who I want to write about. Seriously, as I sit her I look longingly down and a whole list of people that I havent gotten to...who mean just as much as these I have named... Hopefully, I will be able to continue this tradition every year-because I have a feeling...I can continue on for years to come, listing all those who I am truly grateful that I have in my life. Seriously, while this exercise has been a delight to me, a little part of me has felt a bit out of control and unworthy, because I keep thinking of others that I want to mention, that I want to know how much they mean to me...ultimately, I guess I just need to learn the lesson to not wait until a certain "set aside time" to tell people how thankful I am for them...hopefully I can do better at letting people know their value to me each day...its something I need to work on.

So until next time....


Tabitha was one of my other "answers to prayer" during my first year as a House Tutor...I prayed for the residents that God gave me...and He came through with several delightful girls. Tabitha was one of them. Tabitha Trott...isnt that a great name? I love it. And my first impressions of Tabitha were very endearing as well....she was "readable" as I use to say when I was little...she appreciated Words...and she had an "another world" air about her, she was truly above so much of the silliness that went on during the first few weeks of Uni....but, in many ways my first impression of Tabitha were barely scratching the surface. And she is truly a friend who I feel I am constantly getting new delightful layers from.
Tabitha was another one of the nonchristians that came along to Lydia and my life group that year...and she also challenged me with HARD questions...I distinctly remember feeling so very helpless at the hand of those questions. But ultimately, again, God taught me about His grace. Tabitha was saved that year as well...and her life is now a living testimony of Salvation. She is TRULY alive. In the next year, Tabitha and my relationship went from House tutor-to-Resident into House Tutor-to-House Tutor...once again she was an answer to prayer...having a fellow Christian in the sometimes Anti-Christian House Tutor group was TRULY a blessing....Even though I had already dealt with the challenges of being "alone" as a Christian in such a group, Tabitha really taught me a lot about being "seperate" seemed that that "other world" air that I noticed in her first year...which was more of a "fantasy world" type place...had truly transformed into a Heavenly world...and that world seems to have gotten brighter and brighter and more and more clear in Tabitha. I treasured my talks with her last she worked out the little bits of her Faith that she hadnt figured out yet, it was interesting to see her decision to be a Catholic, and while she has now taken a different path, I could see the importance it had in her life was a part of the Christian faith that I dont fully agree with...and yet I also was able to completely look past that and see Tabitha's love for God. Yes, God taught me right then and there...where to look when looking for someones relationship with God, not at their church, at their knowledge, at their actions, instead look directly at the Heart. For there the truth Lay...Tabitha's Heart was the Lords...and it was a delight to see.
Tabitha also taught me about little acts of kindness....I've always had trouble doing these types of things...sending cards ( I always forget)...doing chores for people ( I forget again...or I'm "busy"...or lets face it, down right lazy)....but Tabitha has truly been a testiment to me of acts of kindness done in the right heart. Her little homemade cards when I hadnt gotten mail from the states in WEEEKS, literally saved me from pity-parties and homesickness...her cups of tea, and little helpful gestures made being sick on Rounds...or having to study plus deal with nasty residents bareable.
And, this past year...when most of interaction with friends has been via email, Tabitha has been, by far, the MOST faithful....and let me tell you...Her emails have not just been a nice reminder of a friend-they have been SUCH lessons! Seriously, sometimes I think how others are missing out of her amazing writing talent-but then, I'm just grateful I get to see some of it! ;-) Her emails are little treasures to me, tiny windows into heaven...she can take a rain puddle and discribe it in such a way that you see the ways of Sin in the word in a new light...she can take a Candle and tell about it in such a way that I see Christ with brand new eyes. I am in awe of the beauty that God has put in Tabitha...that just seems to shine brighter and brighter with each passing day. I have found comfort in her struggles and encouragment in her victories in these emails...and above all I have seen how God has spoken great wisdom into her life. I mentioned in my last post about watching Thida go from a wee babe...and so I have had the priviledge to see Tabitha transform as well. God has been so gracious to let me be a part of her life, I am truly honored. For here is a women that God will do great things. I have to go back to that "other world" statement I've made twice already, I think once again it applies to Tabitha's future...She is faithful to her Father's work and i am continually inspired and encouraged by her. I would truly not be who I am today without this dear friend of mine...

and we're back!

man, today has been on some serious crazy pills...I've kept a constant to-do list going because I had sooo much going on that I couldnt keep it all in my head. meh.
But, I actually LIKE days like this because they go by really fast...and I also like today because my doctors bought me Chinese food for my birthday...awwwww! arent they sweet!? ( I think they just wanted an excuse to get chinese...but whatever, I've never looked a gift horse in the month)
Alright, alright...lets start in on some of the very last of my series of "Influential/inspirational" people....Today is the last day, because dear friends...TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY!!! SO GET THOSE EMAILS READY>>>>>>

I met Thida during my first year at Uni, she lived in Dante's Inferno with Lydia Penny and I...and she loves to tell the story about how RUDE I was the first time she met me...sure, sure whatever...but once our friendship got officially started we've had a blast ever since! :-)
Thida and I share a delight for shopping...even though I have more shoes than she does, and she DEFINITELY has more formal dresses than I....we are definitely "girly" friends...and I wont put you through an account of many of our of my favorite had to be when we both tried talking in "ultra sweet, innocent" voices in order to experiment if guys really WOULD do whatever we asked them when using the voice. ( it turns out guys are suckers for the sweet/innocent voice..but thats for another time)
But, ultimately the reason Thida will remain in my heart forever began when she started coming to Lydia and my life group during second year...I remember when we first asked her to come along and she said, "as long as you wont try to make me into a Christian." Lydia and I smiled and told her we would NEVER do that!
The thing about Thida's story is while her salavation is HER personal story with Jesus, God gave ME that gift of getting to be a part of the ride. First of all, God taught me a lot during the time Thida was searching... we'd had a LOT of discussions in life group...most of which were way over my head! I remember thinking, THIS isnt how its suppose to work, I'm suppose to have all the answers! But, ultimately God taught me that patience, prayer...and love were the only things I COULD do to bring Thida to Him...other than that it was ALL HIM.
I can count how many times God has directly SPOKEN to me on one hand, and one of those times was the night that Thida finally came to church...she still hadnt made a decision about God, So, there we were in church during the worship and I HEARD God say, " I just showed Thida who I am."
Sure enough i looked over at her, and she was crying..and she looked beautiful. God, took that moment to teach me, just how much His Holy Spirit can do...He changed Thida's life in an instant.
I am truly grateful that she's been such a friend to me, she has taught me so much about Faith...watching her figure out her relationship with God those first couple of months, she has an amazing ablity to discribe aspects of faith, aspects of ones relationship with God in the most simple yet beautiful ways! I was continually blessed by my talks with Thida. In the coming year my relationship with Thida was even more of a blessing, she lived right down stairs from me and being so near to her showed me even MORE. Thida is one of the most genuinely friendly people I've ever met...everyone loves her. She is bubbily and happy 90 percent of the time, something I truly admire. She also never gave up on her dreams. And today she is in Med school...just where she should be! She is going to make a wonderful doctor, and the journey she took getting there was just as it should be. Yes, Thida has been an encouragment to me, and a testiment of so many aspects of the Christian Walk with God. I saw her as a "wee babe", so to speak, at the beginnings of her faith and she continues to grow. In the past year I've only spoken to her on the phone once...but I was once again amazed at the power of God moving in someones life...she told me of her search for a church, and how she saught God about what to do, and where she was suppose to go...she told me about how she was going to have to decide where to do her later years of study...Truly Thida's life is an example of Light. And how the Lord truly turns the light in in Darkness. I can truly say my life, my faith, my relationship with God would not be the same without Thida....


My title is what it is because, I've had demands thrown at me all morning...not necessarily in a bad way, but lets just say its been a crazy morning at the hospital reading room....this is the first moment I've stopped to breathe...and it looks like I'm going to have to re-heat the Latte my Papa brought me ( isnt he the best?) because its long past lukewarm.

My other reason for the title is I DEMAND that anyone that can go out and watch the movie "Walk the Line", DO is WONDERFUL! Seriously, positively FANTASTIC... oscars all around...( for my sensitive readers there is some drug use and some sensual scenes..) ultimately I had no idea what a full on Christian Johnny Cash was in his later life. GO SEE THIS MOVIE YOU WILL LOVE IT.

In other news, I am writing up inspirational/influential people again today so stay tuned! :-)

November 19, 2005

Married with Children.

Tonight, I felt extremely young. I went to a dinner party where most of the people were married....and had a baby. whoa. I guess feeling young is cool, a lot of ways, I should be extremely grateful for my ultra flexible life and my "quiet/empty" apartment when I got home tonight....
the part was great fun though, played two new games...which, as we all know...I'm always "game" for such things ;-)

OK, so that's all the chitchat I can afford. Its 11 and I've got to be at work early tomorrow and we've got another exciting Influential/inspirational person tonight! :-)

I dont really remember my first impressions of Carmi, but I'm guess they were something like, "she's loud"...because, that's really true...but, whatever, that doesnt matter because my later impressions of her are so very vivid it doesnt matter what the first one was....I think I'm going to start with the day God began are friendship, or at least in my mind.
It was at "Boot Camp 2003" in Christchurch, which was this meeting with different Cutting Edge groups for the CE leaders....anyway, after one particular teaching session I felt a really big burden to pray...the next thing on the agenda was dinner and so I invited anyone who wanted to to stay behind and pray with me instead of having dinner. Carmi was the only person to stay. While it was probably disheartening to have such a bad reception, such reception was pretty common when it came to was always a fight.... but at that moment God gave me a partner in crime. Carmi and I had an amazing Holy Spirit filled prayer time, and we were both extremely excited to share with the rest of the group when they got back.

I'll never forget that night. It was that night that Carmi and I shared time in prayer that my heart met her's, for real. We had a few more random prayer times that year, they all come up in my journals...I was excited because she was moving into the flat with "my girls" the next year, and I could already tell it was going to be a good thing...boy, was that an understatement.
Some of the things I learned about Carmi in the next year was that she's got the greatest laugh, ever. Its contagious. She's also the best "party buddy" ever...because we can both be funny and the center of attention without feeling bad about it later ;-)
Seriously though, along with the pure fun, Carmi was a God send for my prayer life. It seemed that countless times last year I would hit a brick wall and I could call up Carmi and we would spend three hours or so ( she's the only person who I've met, who can go on and on with me without getting bored or wanting to stop) praying together and the wall would just crumble. its true about the verse "where two or more are gathered"...I've always been inspired by Carmi's heart for missions and I have such faith in her. I know where her heart is...and MY heart is in agreement. I dont think I realized how important it is to have someone who you agree SPIRITUALLY with, but God gave me that in Carmi. I've also realized at times when I havent agreed with something with Carmi, that ultimately our spiritual friendship covers up any possible misunderstanding or hurt that could EVER amazing thing.
Another really interesting thing I learned from Carmi, something I just put words to not long ago, is being able to pray for someone, give advice to someone...but ultimately trusting GOD to take care of things. Carmi has been such an example of that in my life. I have always been able to turn to her for sound advice, and she is always faithful to tell me when she thinks things are just "her talking" and she's always been faithful to give me a Word from God no matter how tough it might be. I know I can trust her to the utmost.
I am also grateful for Carmi because sometimes if you spend TOO MUCH time with your own worries and frets you start to think they are a REALLY big deal. Carmi never fails to bring me back down to the real world where "everyone is that way"....sometimes its really comforting to know someone else is there struggling right along with you, and Carmi has always been honest about her struggles. For that I truly respect her.
Carmi has been an encouragment, a helper in battle, the perfect comedian, and just the right amount of quirky that I could ever ask for. She is truly a sister I could not have done without. And I am thankful for everyday of this future life, for I know she is there in Spirit. :-)