January 31, 2015


Did I tell you that Brett and I are wanting to buy a house this year?  It's true!! We've been married for 8 years and have moved just as many times! In fact, we have never lived in a house longer than two years! Thanks Arrrrrmmmmmy!! But things are hopefully about to change and we think we're finally ready to take the plunge and stop paying other people to live in their houses but live in OUR OWN!

I tell you this and I hope you're appropriately proud of me because people its a BIG DEAL for me to make this kind of commitment!!! I've literally gone into an anxiety attack over a 2 year cell phone contract!  "Has a hard time with commitment" seems like an understatement. Well, at least when it comes to things and place.... when it comes to people, its a different story: if I know you, you're going to have to rip our friendship from my cold dead fingers because I WILL NOT LET GO. But anyway.......

We're  searching the "housing market" and I haaaateeeee it!!! I thought buying a car was horrible and no good! Buying a house is a TRILLION times worse! We've made two offers so far and neither have been accepted. I was not at all sad about losing the first house, I knew deep down it wasn't for us, but the second one had a million walk-in closets and I could see myself with a million walk-in closets. We had also been officially looking for a house for...oh, 2 months and that seemed like way too long. I mean, COME ON! We've lived in this house for 1 year and 10 months and Mama's got itchy feet!
But it was not meant to be, and since Brett and I have settled on a very specific part of our city to look for houses in- we are now essentially waiting on people to put houses on the market.


Does ANYONE like to wait?!?! I hate it.

But tonight I was reminded that God's timing is not my timing. Not even remotely. Rarely-and I mean rarely have things happened when I wanted them to happen. But they have often-and I mean often have things happened perfectly in God's timing.

And so I will wait. And I will try to be patient about it. And if I'm not patient, you will forgive me, right? Because we're friends and you are NOT GETTING RID OF ME.

January 28, 2015

Book Recommendations: The Bear Books

This morning I caught Tabitha "reading" one of her favorite books and it reminded me that I promised you my pick for best Christmas book to read to a PreK class. Of course, it's probably not that important to any of you now, at the end of January. I'm always amazing with my timing, aren't I?!?
 BUT, that being said,  I suggest you all pin this puppy in your "NEXT year will be the best Christmas ever" folder on Pinterest ( working title) because you WILL love it.
And since it IS the end of January it is a good thing that this post will also lead ever so nicely into some OTHER book suggestions which are maybe a little more seasonable. So I will start with Tabitha's current favorite books. We got a few of these Karma Wilson  Bear books in some Chickfila meals a little while ago, I stuck them in a travel bag to pull out later as "throw away" books when we're out and about to hand the kids and not worry about whether they get lost or ripped etc.- BUT when I finally actually read them they quickly got an upgrade to "part of the Wilson collection of books" and have stayed in the highly coveted "beside Tabitha's bed" spot for weeks now.  We LOVE these books! We have three of them, Bears New Friend, Bear Feels Scared and Tabitha's personal favorite : Bear Snores On

Ransom really enjoys them too, the stories are funny and have rythmn to them which makes them fun for me to read out loud. But Tabitha will regularly pretend to sneeze in the car and then laugh and I know she's thinking about "Bear snores on"...( you'll have to read it to know the reference). To me that is enough of an enforcement. But the fact that there is basically a Bear book for every season ( "Bear says Thanks" is in the fall, "Bears New Friend" is set in the summer, "Bear wants More" is in the Spring...) makes them EXCELLENT books to grab at the library to get your kids in the mood for a new season and to get your preschools talking about the different changes going on in nature. Love love LOVE!

Sooooooooo, when I was searching for a Christmas book and found that Karma Wilson had written a book called "Mortimer's Christmas Manger" I was ALL over it! And then to my surprise ( the Bear books have no Christian reference that I have found so far) this little story of a mouse who finds a nativity scene with the perfect sized bed for a mouse, has a perfectly integrated and easy to understand Jesus-in-the-manger and the whole deal story without shoving it down your throat boring style. It ended up being sweet and meaningful and fun. I loved loved LOOOOOOVED this book!

So, go check out The Bear Books if you haven't already and you WILL fall in love with all his little forest friends, and then sneak a peak at little Mortimer while you are at it and I KNOW it'll be on your Christmas reading list for 2015.

And now tell me what is your kiddos current favorite book?! I know it changes all the time at our house so it is fun to keep track of these things :-) 

January 24, 2015

The book update.

Hey friends, remember way back when, when I told you I was going to write a book? And how its been mostly crickets on this end for a while on that front?

Well...yeah. I now totally laugh at the naive girl that thought she could get the first draft done by Tabitha's first birthday...or second birthday. It turns out that all the good juicy stuff that is really worth writing about, is all the stuff that takes time to write about. Not just the normal time that we call "Time Unoccupied by Small People" time but that special Time that is used for deep reflective thought.
That time is rare. But, I've cut myself some slack on the "time" department. I've given myself a few little deadlines just to keep the ball rolling, but I think they are much more manageable now.

However, I wanted to share something kinda neat with you guys: One thing I was worried about by not having this lovely first draft finished was that as time passed, so would my memories. That I would lose the good juicy story-telling aspect of description. And that the details would fade. I had been really praying and worrying about that particular downfall of this writing journey being so long. But then, I got the neatest answer from the Lord! I was singing in church the other day, minding my own business, when a line from the song struck me so hard I had to catch my breath! In that one little line ( which I can't even remember now, and which probably doesn't even have anything really to do with what happened next) I was taken back to a particular day in Tabitha's story. I mean I was there. And it was like I remembered things the Lord did in that day that I hadn't really thought about ever, or maybe had just forgotten, but either way they were FRESH and I was able to write it all down so easily! It was a cool little reminder that what I set out to do from the beginning was to write down what the Lord had done and what He taught me from that particular season in our lives. Those things are His. His memory is perfect and He knows what happened just as perfectly today as He did on the day that he first did them! Hooray!
Now, while I may have written it all down "easily" after that happened in church, I'm still tweaking and smoothing out that "easy" work a week or so later, so yeah, writing a book is hard. But thankfully the work is not just mine!

I do sometimes get caught up in what to DO with this story when I'm finished with it, but I'm just hoping that, that will become clear when the time comes! Wish me writing Luck! Or better yet, say a prayer for me. ;-)

January 22, 2015

Good Morning, Vietnam!

Periodically, for my own later amusement I like to document what my morning routines are like at our house here on the blog. I do this because I love routine and I hate mornings. And while the routine keeps changing over and over again, those mornings keep coming every SINGLE day ( I, suppose, thankfully...but whatever.). And so I will hold fast to the current routine until it inevitably has to change in a month or two. But because I love each new routine ( to its inevitable death) I will give it its due diligence here:

In the morning, I wake up between 6:30 and 7 to Tabitha calling out in half-wakefulness for "maaaaaammmma". I, being a really amazing mother, ignore her in the hopes that she will go back to sleep. If she doesn't than I stick the baby monitor under my pillow to muffle the sounds of her playing her "bedtime bear" ( a bear who sings a creepy song about a candle when you press its foot) over and over. I do this because I'm an AWESOME mom who doesn't want to just TURN OFF the monitor completely. I'm so attentive.

Finally, somewhere around 7:12 I will finally climb out of bed and go into Tabitha's room to release her from her crib prison. Not because I want to, but because I know that Ransom's amazing clock is going to turn green in one minute and he will RUN out of his room announcing "MY LIGHT TURNED ON!!!!" at top volume. Why do we set his clock to turn on at 7:13? Your guess is as good as mine, but clearly we don't have OCD tendencies or this would bother us all.

Then my children sit on the couch and watch their coveted 40 minutes of screen time for the day. It is a glorious and most-important 40 minutes of the day. In that time I do the following:
Make breakfast for my kids ( oatmeal and local honey 365 days a year!!!!!!! THIS NEVER CHANGES SO HELP US!! ) and coffee for myself. This is when I take vitamins and also do my oil pulling.

I then head to the couch for about 25 minutes ( at this point) of mostly uninterrupted Bible time. My kids are usually sitting at the table eating oatmeal as slowly as possible watching Little Bear, Daniel Tiger, Veggie Tales or the horribly loud and yet I still allow it Micky Mouse Club Road-rally. ( It is great that you can see the tv in the living room from our dining room table. I hope this always remains the same, otherwise the routine will have to change yet again....sigh)

Recently I found that if I put in headphones and turn the volume low enough so I can hear my children if they need me, but loud enough to mostly drown out the sounds of mickey mouse, then I can listen to praise music and it helps me focus on my Bible reading more than, say, Bob the Tomato and Little Bear and friends. My current jam is the Bethel Praise Music Pandora Station. I love Pandora more than, something where I've actually picked the music, because in a FEW SMALL TIMES in my life I like to be surprised. I just keep my Quiet Time supplies on the edge of the couch because I'm tidy like that. And I'm also lazy and I don't like to get up once I've sat down ( unless I'm doing a fitbit challenge in which case I'll run around the house a few times between each praise song. jk. or not). My current supplies, headphones, pen, $2 notebook for writing down prayers, Bible, and prayer card for 2015.

After my time asking God to help me live through today; it's basically 8am and I start pushing Ransom along in his slow oatmeal eating ways. I get out my kids clothes and Ransom gets dressed in the living room or in Tabitha's room while I get her dressed-because HE DOES NOT LIKE TO BE ALONE EVER EVER EVER AND AMEN. ( I remember going through this stage as a kid too, but boy is it difficult on the Mom end!). We head out the door from preschool at around 8:20 with my half-drunk coffee in tow. If I'm running that day then I usually grab a Zone protein bar and eat half of it before my run and then the other half after ( I am not a food in the morning person AT ALL! I've SO tried because I know its the most important meal of the day, but oh how I hate it. )
if its not a running day then I'll usually eat something along these lines when I get home from dropping off Ransom: Ezekiel Bread toasted with my faaaaavorite Trader Joes Peanut Butter on top with little Banana slices for sweetness.

And then the rest of the day begins, you know that part of the day that cannot be planned for and that usually ends up with you  going to Target, misjudging a parking spot and completely denting in the front of your brand-new mini van. *sigh*

January 08, 2015

A little look back...way back.

Hello friends! I hope you're all curled up by a fire tonight ( unless you're one of my NZ friends in the southern hemisphere in which case, go to the beach for me...thanks) and keeping warm because it seems like it is freezing EVERYWHERE. In fact, you actually KNOW it is cold when it gets cold in San Antonio too. If it makes it this far south then...bundle up, things are gonna get good.

So, I have a spare five minutes, if you haven't already, you should run over and read my letter to Tabitha on her second birthday.

And if you've really got a minute I'd like to take a little look back, if you don't mind, to one of the first posts I wrote after Tabitha was born. To me it is a reminder of the blessings that often come after the storm. And sometimes those storms last so long that we forget that the Lord really DOES bring relief.  I've also been thinking about it because I tried out a new doctor this week and I had to tell him my medical history. It sounds SO dramatic when you say it all out loud.  People, it has been two years and it is STILL so dramatic. And gosh darn it, I really should finish that book I've been writing for two years.

January 13th 2013
Something happened when Tabitha was about a day old that I think describes my general feeling the last week really really well....
It's important for me to document tha feeling because we got back to Georgia last night and REAL LIFE is about to set in in a major way ( like the fact that I'm writing this in the ER because I may have been bitten by a bat last night... That's right. A bat. Welcome home!! Let the games begin!) and I really want to hold on to the marvel of the end of our journey of having our twins.
As sad as I am about Priscilla, and as much as the grief for her is still a process. The celebration of Tabitha's life is nothing short of pure joy.
When I was still in the hospital, and our many visitors had all dispersed for a few minutes- and even Brett had stepped out to run an errand. I sat holding a post-feed baby. She had nestled into my arm and I was just sitting there thanking God for her Life, when the nurses aid came in to take my blood pressure. As she did her thing she said, "It feels good in here." And I said something about how the air conditioner was on... But she replied that no, it wasnt that. She looked down at us and said, "it feels peaceful."

She was so right. After nights when I literally used up tissue boxes, after being separated as a family for four months, after a month hospital stay and 3 months in the Ronald McDonald house... We are peaceful.
And I've been feeling that peace for days. ( minus our 24 hours in the NICU.. But that's another story). I have been delighting in our little answer to prayer. And how, despite her size. It's really not that little at all.
I am now struggling with the constant need of telling EVERYONE our story, so that EVERYONE will know what God has done for us.
This is a good problem to have.

January 01, 2015

Ch-ch-changes are a com in'

Well, here it is 2015! I'm currently sitting on my fireplace hearth getting as hot as possible without bursting into flames. Cold and rainy days like this make me remember why I love Texas. Texas in the winter. Not Texas in the summer. I reserve the right to complain come August.

So, here I sit, scrolling through social media as a way to distract me from the moaning coming from my 4 year olds room. He's clearly sleepy. He only does this when he's so tired he's tempted to actually go to sleep during rest time. And instead of just going with that urge he starts yelling that he's done with rest time. WOULD IT BE SO BAD TO JUST TAKE A NAP?!?!
I swear this kid has been afraid of "missing something" since he was born!

Anyway, social media is a flurry with people being introspective and optimistic about 2015. It's hard not to be isn't it? Looking back at the past 365 days and marveling at all that has happened: all the scars, all the victories, all the disappointment, all the tears, all the laughter...it's hard not to wonder what in the WORLD this next year will hold!

At the end of 2014 some coolish plans went into motion with some of our family members. The plans were so surprising, so completely crazy to us ( I haven't actually asked the people involved in the actual crazy plans if they had an inkling of what was going to happen in 2014...but for us, on the outside it was surprising and crazy and totally cool ) that it has gotten me thinking of ALL the crazy and surprising things that have happened to us over the years.
Here are some things I've most definitely said:

WOW. I can not believe this is happening.... That I live here. That I moved back here. How unfair this is.  That this hurts so much. That I am marrying you. That I work here. That I am standing here. That I am doing this. That I'm having a baby. That we live here. That you are my friend. That I am doing this. That you are doing that. That I am a part of this. That we are having twins. That this is happening to us. That we are going through this. That they are going through that. That we survived this. That she is here. That we live here! That we met you. That this might happen. That THAT happened. That we've seen this.

I'm pretty sure that is the makeup of our lives...the sentence "I can't believe..."
 Because life is a beautiful and complicated surprise. Sometimes the surprises are scary and awful sometimes they are the most amazing, beautiful things we've ever seen. Bottom line, you may think you know what this next year holds, but friends...I promise there will be surprises.

In 2015 we're doing some pretty crazy monumental things in the Wilson House. Because we always say, "Go big or go home." Actually...I've never said that, but roll with it. Because as it seems right now we're gonna rock "Change" this year. And not the Obama kind... Like REAL change.

That's right. My scariest word. The word that I try to avoid at ALL COSTS. It is my "word of the year". Change.

I hate change because it is so unpredictable. And I love predictable, especially if that leads to control. I looooove control.

And so, of course, this year seems really hard to me. Looking at all new and unpredictable things that are staring me down. BUT, if I just remember how truly wonderful a good surprise can be. And especially a God-shaped surprise. Well, then I get a little bit excited. And it makes me pray harder because I would really hate to ruin a perfectly good God-shaped-surprise with my very controlling-shaped-brain.

And just as a little reminder of how true this is: Let's just do a little case study SHALL WE!?! Read this post.  Which is what I wrote at the beginning of 2012. I thought the year was going to include a deployment for my husband and a lot of single parenting. That year turned out to hold no deployment, a very scary complicated pregnancy and a period of 4 months where I didn't parent AT. ALL. So there. January 2012 Abigail was not thinking about the right things! haha! The cool part though is that God DID provide a verse ( noted in that blog post) that turned out to be truly important and helpful through the difficult year ahead. So. there you go.

So, to start off 2015 with as much craziness and proof that I have no idea what this year will bring:

Surprise number one: We bought a car yesterday. It's a minivan. It seats EIGHT PEOPLE. And no. I'm not pregnant.