March 30, 2006

I leave you with some pictures!

Have a good weekend everyone!

Thomas and Katie

Thomas and Katie's wedding
Thomas and Katie looking adorable at their wedding

Christa w/ Noah

Noah and I@ T&K's wedding

Pictures with the cutiest baby ever....I think Christa and I both look better with him as an accessory dont you think?

Me...happily letting the bouquet fly past
Me, avoiding the bouquet...

Noah and Trinity

Thanks to Trinity and James for taking these pictures...and sharing them with me ( arent Noah and Trinity just PERFECT?!)

March 29, 2006

To Continue...

So, I feel like there has been a very constant theme going through my life of late, a lesson of sorts...I've shared it in various forms...and probably not very well...but things like this post and this one both express my feeling that this particular challenge is, in fact, a long that must be taken day by day.

Tonight, I was faced, literally, with a tired runner of the "marathon"...someone who was obviously feeling the effects that this particular trial brings. I was thinking on this, and praying for all those who are running this race... and I read this in my Bible reading:
Oh, God, hasten to deliver me;
Oh Lord, hasten to help!
Hasten to me, O God!
Thou art my help and my deliverer;
O Lord, do not delay ~Ps 70:1,5

Now, if I look at the psalms as very good examples of prayers to pray, then it is quite obvious that the Lord WANTS us to ask for help...and to ask that it be FAST in coming! In thinking about that tonight, it seemed to contradict my initial thoughts about trials often being looong...and therefore that help would be a while in coming.... And then it hit me, why suuuure the battle is looong, and sure the battle is already won ( that's already a comfort)...but there is HELP along the way. The Help does not just come at the END with the Grand Victory. We will not just praise Our Gracious Father at the END when wrongs are permently stomped, and Restoration comes ...No, there will be chances to praise Him all along the way....for His Hand is working even Rest, giving Encouragment, giving Reminders of the Promise of Victory, giving Wisdom...for all those who race onwards.

Yes, tonight, my prayer IS that help would Hasten...That the Lord would truly Sustain all that are battling in prayer for those that they love...for while the Victory may be Long coming...the Help is already here.

my last will and testiment

I am dying of hunger.
I will surely be dead very soon.
Apparently the life-sustaining qualities of two peanut butter and jam sandwiches, a hand full of "Life" cereal ( no pun intended) and four crackers can NOT get me through the entire day.

And NO, I usually do not LIST the foods that I eat...but since I am about to die I thought I'd make a know, for the grandchildren.


Now, I wont HAVE grandchildren.

This truly a sad moment.
OK, so the list is for YOUR grandchildren.
Print this post out and keep it in a safe place.
maybe make several copies...

Maybe one day it will even become famous, and will be studied in literature classes...critics will rave about my listing capablities.

Its sad I will not live to see such a day, since I will be dead. very very dead.

Dead because I forgot that this is my "hungry week."

what not to wear

My title has nothing to do with just popped into my head ( randomly) as I was trying to think of a title...

What I do want to say is, man, you people are crazy! Seriously I never ever know what is going to make you comment! Which, in a way, is really good...because this way I never, ever CATER to COMMENTS. I just write...and then hope to hope that you'll say something in return...or I HOPE to HOPE that you'll ignore me when you know I'll wake up in the morning and change my mind and wish that I'd never said anything...
Either way...I never know what you people are going to do.

Anyway, today I will write more...and probably none of you will comment, and I'll be equally suprised: and all will be right in the universe.

So, not so very long ago ( 6 days to be exact)...I passed up an opportunity to celebrate yet another milestone. You know, I must stop and say, that I am quite the fan of "anniversaries"...I dont exactly know why that is, but I celebrate tons of "its been six months since I had my very first cream-filled donut and this is how life has changed since that fateful day..." I think it helps me to "get over" the past and "move on" to the present/future...
Annnyway, where was I? oh right, last week's milestone.
Last week, on the 22nd of March I celebrated my ONE YEAR AS THE ASSISTANT OF RADIOLOGISTS EVERYWHERE...MORE SPECIFICALLY THE FOUR RADIOLOGISTS THAT PAY ME...yes, its true...I've been hanging films, answering phones, smoothing egos, scheduling appointments, reading emails, writing blog posts, writing emails, reading celebrity gossip and looking at the clock, all in a dark room for ONE YEAR. I know, I'm shocked too.
In a lot of ways I have learned a lot and become quite comfortable in my little dead-end job. Its quite delightful to find yourself in a place where you basically get to do the thing that you LOVE to do ( write, and keep up with your friends)..while being paid to do something that can be easily done while doing the thing that you LOVE to do. ( wow, good ol' complicated sentence.)
So, yes, its obvious that God knew what He was doing when I randomly got a call from a very stressed out Doctor who had been left in a lurch after firing someone...
But, then, who ever DOUBTED that God knew what He was doing?!
( dont answer that).

Before I go, a little segment I like to call "Litte Known Facts about Today":

-Today is dragging by...its only 10:21...I've eaten my PBJ sandwich and now I'm just hungry for the sake of being very bored.

-I seem to have injured my right thumb...I woke up this morning and it hurt really badly...

-I couldnt be bothered brushing my hair this morning...or even putting the slightest bit of makeup on. Sorry to anyone that has to see me. I know I'm lazy.

March 27, 2006

One Day at a Time...

"One day at a time, I will walk this road I've traveled so far
One day at a time, I know I will carry on
One day at a time, I can see you took my life this far
One day at a time, I will take this faith along

All this hope I breathe is given by the hand that carries me
Until I'm complete and I'll take all I will
To understand this plan you have for me

I've been shut up, shut down, held out, held down
In ways I never knew I would
But I can feel your fullness in my life
Well I've been burned out, broken, torn out, torn down
In ways I never knew I would
But I can feel your fullness in my life

One day at a time, I will take these words you've given me
One day at a time, I will rest in knowing you
One day at a time, I will share this gift you've given me
One day at a time, I will walk these valleys through

All I know is that I see how much my heart
Is longing to be cradled by your side
And I'll give all I can to one day soon
Be held by your hand, by your hand

In all these things I will press on
I'll be with you I know it wont be long"~ One day at a time Jeremy Camp

March 26, 2006

kinda sorta...

Hey kids...its Sunday night...and looking at my calendar/to do list, there is soooo much to do next week...meeeh. It makes me tired and slightly stressed just thinking about it.

But, here is what I am excited about:
I'm off to visit Amy in OK. City...that's right....ever since 2002 when Amy first moved to this delightful city...state...whatever....she's been inviting me to come visit her....unfortunately my schedule has been....oooh, shall we say, "difficult"...but now, there are no more excuses, she's graduating soon and I really MUST see what's shes been suffering through all these years...I want to see the mullets and the barefoot children for myself. So, I am taking my darling friend Christa ( bless her heart, she is earning serious brownie points to hand out in a car with ME for 7 hours!), many many CDs and as much junk food as I can handle and heading "northish" on Friday....We should be back on Monday...and, I'll tell you now ( so you can mentally prepare)...I will definitely not be blogging on this little trip. Oh, I'll tell you all about it when we get back, but I've been needing a little "blog separation" for a little while now, and I've been kind of waiting for this trip to do it.

So, get ready for some silence.

Buuut, dont worry, I've got several boring days of work ahead of us before we have to worry about THAT!

It is hard to stay positive

When your doctor decides to start work at 9:40....and there are films stacked "ya high" ... and you know very well that you will not get to go to church.


March 25, 2006

I just realized...

This MAY look like I'm engaged or something...but that is not the case. HAHA! No, instead, my wonderful, sweet sister bought an EXACT replica of the ring that I I took a pic for all to turned out pretty cool dont you think?


I'm tag-able

I've been tagged by Aunt Donnave!

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Waitress
2. Resident Assistant ( aka. House Tutor)
3. Monster Truck Ralley concession stand worker ( woo!)
4. Radiology Assistant

Four movies you would watch over and over:
1. Finding Neverland
2. The Village
3. Beauty and the Beast
4. Lord of the Rings (all of them)

Four places you have lived:
1. Nacogdoches, Texas ( aka. my parents house)
2. Dunedin, New Zealand (aka. University College Hall)
3 Dunedin, New Zealand ( aka. Carrington Hall)
4. Nacogdoches, Texas ( aka. Apartment 420)
wow, its a little Nacogdoches, Dunedin Sandwhich!

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Arrested Development
2. Friends
3. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
4. The Gilmore Girls

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Italy
2. Fiji
3. Gettysburg and Washington, D.C.
4. Greece

Four websites I visit daily:
1. My devotionals
2.all your updated blogs via bloglines
3. my email!
4. Houston Chronicle Comics

Four of my favorite foods:
1. Anything with curry...mmmm....indian.....thai....
2. Mac & cheese...we are good friends
3. mashed potatoes....Aunt Donnave makes the best!
4. large cheese pizza for $5.41

Four places I would rather be right now:
1.on an Island in Greece with my girls
2. On a beach in Fiji
3. In a Flat in Dunedin
4. Here is actually not so bad ;-)

Friends I am tagging that I think will
If you want to please...go ahead! I'll be happy to hear what your answers are! :-)

when it hits...

I would say most of the time I feel 18...and it could be hypothesised that the reason for this is because I just cant remember how immature I actually was when I was 18...but...whatever, the point is...most of the time I feel really young and unexperienced, with no clue what to do...or what to say...or how to act.
And it doesnt help when your own mother says you dont look " a day over 14"....thanks mom.

In saying all of that, there are times where there is NO DOUBT in my mind that I am actually 22. For instance, here I am lying in bed thinking very seriously about taking a nap when this train of thought happens:

"Yes, but at some point I really do need to go to the supermarket. We're almost out of toliet paper and we are totally out of milk....I think I have a coupon around somewhere...which store should I go to? Wal-Mart is cheaper, but farther away, and I hate the Saturday crowds...yes, Kroger would be much better, besides it across from Java Jacks and I could get a latte....oooo...but, I must remember to get decaf, its after 2 and I can never sleep when I've had caffine after 2..."

AAAAHAHAHAHA! I am so lame! Is this normal 22 year old behavior? Am I missing a party somewhere?!

Saturday Rundown..

Its a beautiful day in Nacogdoches.
My throat only "kinda" hurts.
I just watched Much Ado about Nothing...and MAN! I love Shakespeare! To be impressed by his words is an understatement.
I only had to be at work for two hours and got paid for three! :-)
Its only noon...

March 24, 2006

i just woke up...

...from a "nap" that went from 6pm until 9:30pm...and now I'm only semi awake..

But I was thinking about the "magic" of the internet and how it has strangely brought people into my life...I mean, now, because of this phenomon we call "internet communication" I can now very much technically "miss" someone who can no longer email or blog! how weird is that? I mean, come on, think about it...there were never really HERE! or where they?

its so odd.

I'm going to go back to sleep...hoping for a healthier tomorrow.

the price you pay...

So, last night...i was cold, and I was happy to snuggle up all close to my sister on the couch...because, you know...I was cold.

But, now, I think I'm catching an actual throat feels all funny and I'm tired and achy. And yes, Anna's been sick all week, and yes it was stupid of me to get even a little bit close to her.

All I have to say about this is:

Let's just pray that me thinking positive thought for the rest of the day will help my body to fight it off. :-)


Afterwards, my little family of four sat in the car...all in painful shock. There was silence mingled with tears. And then my father turned and said to all of us:

"We had hoped that this would be a short race, that this particular hardship would end sooner rather than later, but this is not the case. We have been given a marathon..."

Those words have helped me a lot in the last year...and not just in the matter in which he was specifically referring to, in fact, in a lot of ways that time in my life in which we were all praying for a miracle so intensely only for the answer to be:
"No, not now"

It was the first tiny drop in a much bigger lesson about prayer:
The question is how long can you prayer? The question is how long can faith last? The question is how long before you give up?

Not long after that inital drop, came another, in a lot of ways this one felt worse...this drop seemed to pound like rain.
Once again I was brought to tears in prayer for another...and once again it seemed the answer was :
"No, not now"

In the past few days another drop has fallen and the Devil was quick to bring up the past two drops as "examples" of unanswered prayer...but today as I wrote in my journal the words of my father came back to me:

No, my prayers are not in vain. Saying my prayers were not answered...this a lie. We are faced with a marathon, not a short distance. Lord increase my endurance-might my faith in answered prayers be as long as my very life-may I go to my death praying for those that have been layed on my heart with such intensity that only tears can express the burden.
To pray until the answer is:
"Yes, today is the day that I show my Glory, today is the day that I show my Power, today is the day I show Mercy."

I believe that answer will come, or the burden to pray would have stopped a long time ago. I would have forgotten...I would have moved on...circumstances and life would not continue to remind me of You.
But, this is not the case and I can now only beg for endurance, for this battle will be long....
But it is already won.

March 23, 2006


So, I havent seen ONE SOUL today....and I wouldnt have actually used my vocal cords once if it wasnt for talking to my sister on the phone....

But, let me just tell you, it was GRRRREAT. And I say 'was' because, I'd be ok with seeing a person now...but whatever, doesnt matter.

The POINT is, is that last night when I was praying with Carmi on the phone at 1 in the morning, curled up on the floor... I realized that I had HAD ENOUGH...
Enough of WHAT exactly, ooooh just life in general....
the clue? Little things were throwing me waaay over the edge....I couldnt sleep.....I wasnt hungry ( SHOCK. HORROR!)...I couldnt concentrate....

Oh, its no ones fault but my own...and i dont even know if "fault" really needs to be given...its more that there comes a time that you just seriously need to take a DEEEP BREATH....that involves having a whole day to yourself, dont think about anyone but yourself, dont pray for anyone but yourself ( I dont know if that's biblical or not..), dont DO anything for anyone but yourself....
Yesssss....a Selfish Day ( or as I initial typed: a Shellfish day!).


So I did that...

And I feel mucho better-o!

Oh, and suuuure, I probably should have taken care of my traffic "citation"...buuuut....falling alseep watching Home Alone just seemed like a better plan.

PS. Has anyone been outside today, its COLD?! what's the dealio yo?

I've never been a straight A student...

Ah, they waste time so well!

You Have A Type B+ Personality


You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions


oooh maaaan,
I am sooo glad today is my day off! I seriously needed it. I plan to not think about all.
Superficial can be good sometimes so...

this morning Katie made muffins...

I watched the last of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. And I only cried a little bit ;-)

I'm still in my PJs and its almost 12.

I think I'll take a nap later.

March 22, 2006


I dont get guys at all.
Seriously, I dont understand your minds.
Not in the slightest.
I think I know what's going on.
And then you do something, or you say something or you dont do something, or you dont say something.
And it is then that I realize that, actually, I have NO idea what is going on in your heads.

You make my head hurt.

And I start to seriously wonder if its worth it....

maybe I should just put everyone out of their misery and become a nun.

March 21, 2006

the really truthful one...

So, you may, or may not ( depending how well you know me...or how well you read into my blog) have noticed that I had a hard day today.
In a lot of ways it was carry over of yesterdays hard day plus a little MORE hard action added on top ( when it rains it usually pours ( or is that pores?) )...annnyway, by the time I got home from work I was totally and completely TIRED of being in such a hopeless state. So:

I took a shower...and I the shower. If you havent done this, you should try it...because its really a great place to pray. People mention having a "prayer closet"...well, *I* have a prayer "shower."

And then, I talked to my sister...actually, this wasnt really part of my plan...but it really helped quite a bit, just to know that she's going through this as well, its helpful. Its helpful to have a friend when your walking down a rocky road.

And then, I came home and, later, I talked to Emma on the phone ( more talking)...for the future, whoever has the delightful priviledge of marrying me is going to have to be a super-duper awesome listener...because it is often the ONLY way for me to work things out...I mean, sure, usually I can work it out by writing it down.....but sometimes that just doesnt "take"...and then, talking is the ONLY way to go....

But, above all, its about the praying....lots and lots of praying...but, WHY, when its something really really important and BIG...and really really over your head that it is the HARDEST thing to pray about?! For me, I've realized, it has a lot to do with pray about something it to except that I NEED HELP...and to NEED HELP...means, there is a problem.

Well, there IS a problem. And tonight, this is what I have to say about it:
In a lot of ways I am still in shock that I've been placed in this postion that I am now in...I feel totally and utterly OVER MY HEAD...yet, its just now that I realized how good that actually is...I need to EMBRACE the fact that I am over my head...for really, doing anything in my own strength and awesomeness ( ha!) would have failed miserably anyway,, I see how very LITTLE I have to play in this particular mess....I just pray that I am an open vessel...that I'll be faithful to wait to be faithful to be poured out...whatever it takes...whatever I must do, may I do it not in my own strength...for, it has become forever clearer that my strength is pitifully frail...pitifully weak.

"Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us."

"Blessed be the God and Father of Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercy and God of all COMFORT, who COMFORTS us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfor those who are in any trouble, with the COMFORT with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

half a memory...

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep I remembered that there was this really great quote about friendship that I needed to look up...the basic jist of it is, that but a moment, a conversation, a choice could have kept us apart...but it didnt...or something like that...anyway, I felt SURE that it was at the front of my journals from 2003...or the end of 2002...but....I've now gone through numerous journals...and nada. Man, what I would give for a photographic memory! Either that, or at least a memory that can remember a quote when its existence comes into my mind...I mean, PLEASE!!!! God, give me a little bit more to go on here!
(I'm not even sure why I needed to find it....)

Off chance that ANYONE knows what I'm talking about? I remember writing it in several cards over the years...I just dont know to whom...Maybe Lydia...who knows....meh.

I'm older than I look...apparently ;-) hahaha!

So, I still fit in the right category so I guess...THATS good...and since I was just talking to Brett the other day about looking really young...I guess at least I am OLDER on the inside! HAHAH! ( thanks to Aunty D. for the quiz

You Are 28 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

gmail...isnt that great

So, you can chat via your gmail account ( yeah, I have one...but I've never used it until today) now...and so...I went ahead and added the people I could remember off the top of my head who had gmail addresses ( ok, it was just Carmi...hahaha!) to see if they JUST SO HAPPENED ( ok, just carmi) to be online...but...Carmi's "working"


back to being bored.

Today has been a frustrating day at work, had to really work hard on being patient and cheerful on the phone...

I want to run away from home.

I want pizza for dinner.

I wish I could fly.

I wish people I knew what some people where thinking.

For the mouth of those who speak lies will be stopped.

Last night, I felt so sick to my stomache thinking of all the wrongs, and all the things that I felt SURE would despair and never see Good again...that I had to finally snap out of it, and realize I was feeding quite nicely into the hand of TOTAL LIES put there by the devil. I sat up in bed, woke my laptop out of sleepmode and read the last line of the Psalm I had just posted...I then said it over and over again until I fell asleep...

It's been a struggle the last few days...but the Battle is already won. I just need to remember that.

organization is the key...

Today I am working allll daaaaay, which means my major goal is not to bore myself, needless to say, I'll probably post a lot. And bore YOU instead ;-)

So, there are times when it is very apparent why Katie get along well as roommates. And last night was one such instance. Please do not judge us...we cant help the way we are:

(katie enters my room): "Abigail, I want to show you something ( as she hands me a DVD), *I'm* really excited about this..I dont know if you will be..."


( thus begins a long dialogue about the first time we watched this classic movie, and how the kid that acted in it killed himself later...and how the dog was quasi-scary...and how it has BLOWN OUR MINDS when we first saw it, believing that some how it must be real...)

And by this time Katie and I had movied into the livingroom...where we stood in front of our DVD collection...

Katie: "I also bought Home Alone and Home Alone 2"

Me: "That's random, but those are both total classics, so that's exciting.."

( it was at this point that we realized that we had completely filled up an entire shelf and a half of DVDs...and therefore it became imperative to our way of life that we "organize" our DVDs)

Thus began a long process that took us several hours ( with a big break in which I went and had Bible Study ;-) ) of us taking ALL our DVDs off the shelves and putting them in various piles. We initially divided everything into five piles which we aptly named the following:
Television, Classics, Weird, Weepy and Whatever

Of course, once you come up with clever names like THAT you just HAVE to put them onto little labels and then label the bookcase I began work on making labels with little pictures to illistrate the title ( a tiny eye with tears come out of it...etc)

This was really as far as I got before I stopped for Bible Study...

When I returned, katie and I decided that the title "Whatever" was not very discriptive of what the movies WHERE in that we brainstormed and in the process we came up with a whole NEW system with the following names:
Java Shakes, Espresso, Chai Latte, Latte and Chocolate Covered Coffee Beans

Of course, we also re-named the "whatever" category to "whims"...and just in CASE you arent on the same wave length..then I shall now ellaborate on the titles of our Categories:

Television=Java Shakes: Katie and I do not have television in our house, which we LOVE...this cuts all kinds of dribble that appears on TV these days, and we ( not so secretly) love to tell people when they start talking about television shows ( usually something awful like Survivor), that "we dont have TV". Its the perfect conversation killer...buuut, with that being said, its unfortunate but true that Katie and I both love various wonderful T.V. shows that DESERVE being watched...for instance, Arrested Development...everyone should watch this wonderful, sadly deseased show. It is probably the thing we are LEAST proud of...that we have, ( in the past...obviously) sat on the couch and watched entire seasons of various shows...we have discussed characters as though they were real people. And, more likely than not..we watch our TV shows when we need COMFORT...and something that is EASY...and PREDICTABLE...and ALWAYS GOOD. This, of course, brings us to its other name: Java Shake. In the same way that we turn to television for comfort and predictablity so do Katie and I turn to Java Jacks for a Java Shake on BAD DAYS...we dont have them everday ( who could?) but a java shake is a tried and true antidote for anything unfortunate that happens in life...just as we turn to our television shows...

: This category includes everything from Cary Grant movies, to Disney classics...Citzen Lord of the Princess Bride...( and now Home Alone and The Neverending Story) anything that we felt deserves to be in ANY good movie collection. And that is why it also has the title of Espresso...pretty much ALL the good coffee drinks that we enjoy, include at least (one) shot of espresso...its key to a good coffee experience. Period.

Weird=Chai Latte: This was a category that we struggled with quite a bit, it includes our foreign film selection, much of our independent film selection as well as "comic" films ( which is interesting, that Katie and I both feel that the things the we find funny ( i.e. Spinal Tap, Napoleon Dynamite, Zoolander) are also very weird...anyway, we felt that all of these movies did not necessarily "stick" in a more traditional category..thus the name "Chai Latte"...which we love, but which is also not even it tends to feed our stranger tastes..not our normal mood of "please give me my coffee." tendencies, as do these movies. We love them..but...well, they are weird.

Weepy=Latte: Oh, we LOVE these movies...they include things like Finding Neverland...and Big Fish...and Radio...Forrest Gump...yes, they make us cry. But they make us cry in a good way. These movies are wonderful, they keep us going..they restore faith in humanity. They are as necessary to us as a Latte. And yes, that is how they got their name...Lattes come to us naturally. We MUST have them. They keep us going...they restore our faith in humanity...need I say more?

Whims=Chocolate Covered Coffee Beans: These are the movies that we just randomly buy when we're in the check out line at Hastings...or Wal Mart...they were on we buy them. Period. Sure, they are great movies ( You've Got Mail...10 Things I Hate About You...) but we dont really need them, and we only sort of want them, kind of like Chocolate covered Coffee Beans...very rarely do we crave them..but we still really like them, and we'll buy them and be happy with them until they're gone...or we get sick, which ever comes first.


So, now if you come visit Katie and I, you can easily choose a movie from one of our neatly titled categories...and once you pick a category you can easily pick a movie since they are now in order, ABC order...naturally ;-)

March 20, 2006

O God, Thou art my God, I shall seek Thee earnestly;
My soul thirsts for Thee, my flesh yearns for Thee,
In a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Thus I have beheld Thee in the sanctuary,
To see Thy power and Thy glory.
Because Thy lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips will praise Thee.
So I will bless Thee as long as I live;
I will lift up my hands in Thy name.
My soul is satisified as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips.

When I remember Thee on my bed,
I meditate on Thee in the night watches,
For Thou hast been my help,
And in the shadow of Thy wings I sing for joy,
My soul clings to Thee,
Thy right hand upholds me.

But those who seek my life, to destroy it,
Will go into the depths of the earth.
They will be delivered over to the power of the sword;
They will be a prey for foxes.
But the king will rejoice in God;
Everyone who swears by Him will glory,
For the mouth of those who speak lies will be stopped. ~ Ps. 63:1-11

I feel like I wasted most of today wishing for something I could not have...right before I go to bed I finally wake up to that fact...oh, that I would not waste tomorrow!


So, I have to go work in about an hour and a half...and i KNOW that I SHOULD get up and DO something productive before then...but I fell onto my bed to write a few quicky emails...and I just so happened to fall into THE most comfy position...and I am listening to the Rent Soundtrack...and...its raining and windy outside ( yes, Aunt Donnave, you DID tell me March would be crazy!) making it all the more'll write this blog post so that I have an excuse to keep lying here...

Today I want to Java Jacks with my ipod and my Bible...and was ABOUT to find myself a good spot to sit with my latte and muffin when I ran into my parent's old neighbors, I was also their nanny during the "summers" when I was home from had a quicky "how are you" convo...and then they turned to leave...but the Mother turns back around and says...

"So do you have a SPECIAL SOMEONE YET?"

"Um. No."

"Oh, well, that's FINE."

"Yes, I agree...."

AAAAHAHAHAH! It was so very ODD. I mean, sure, "it is a truth universally acknowledged that any single girl in possession of a college degree and a job is in want of a guy" (click here for the nonsarcastic allusion)...but PUUULLLLEEEEASE!? Is That ALL the small talk people are able to come up with these days? ;-)
Makes me laugh....

That's all that has happened to me this morning....

Besides this:
"Strong Tower" on my ipod.
Latte foaming in a friendly manner
Bible open in Luke 7
Journal covered in scribbles
Window viewing clouds that opened just a crack to reveal the Son.

March 19, 2006

only tolkien...

How wonderful it is to read...drinking up the goodness....
And only Tolkien can have something like this in the midst of a story of battle and struggle against evil. Its perfectly placed...

"What do you look for, Eowyn?' said Faramir.
'Does not the Black Gate lie yonder?' said she. " And must he not now be come thither?" It is seven days since he rode away."

"Seven days," said Faramir. "but think not ill of me, if I say to you: they have brought me both a joy and a pain that I never thought to know. Joy to see you; but pain, because now the fear and doubt of this evil time are grown dark indeed. Eowyn, I would not have this world end now, or lose so soon what I have found."

how quickly...

How quickly, my heart does stumble and quickly my eyes become foggy and my mouth is speechless....

Three days...three days without a quiet time. Not one, not one. Life was SO busy! So many parties and gatherings...and people to talk to, people to worry about, people to smile at, people to help, people to chat with, people to eat with, people, people, people, people, people. I didnt have for ONE MOMENT time to think about anything in my own personal little life ( not that that's a bad thing necessarily)

Of course, I LOVE people...I really do...but, not stopping from the moment I awoke on friday morning until this day has made me groggy Spiritually speaking ( not to mention phyiscally!)...yes, its SUCH a lesson...learned the hard way, over and over...
For it is when I havent sat down with the Lord that I big holes start to show up in my already-flimsy shield:
I've faught hard against hopelessness this afternoon especially. It seemed the worries and wrongs of the world had finally come to rest right upon my very head.

"How can we make it?!" I cried.

And then, as but a was as if the Lord asked when the last time I'd talked to Him had been...oh, sure, in I drifted off into sleep I said many a prayer...not enough, not heart of hearts craves much more.

Tonight, my heart is with many dear ones who are struggling...fighting against hardship, against Fear, against the Lies of the Devil. I feel so burdened. But, under the burden there is a Hope. A Hope to hold it all that it's not so heavy afterall...

You are righteous, You love justice
And those who honor you, will see Your face
I will arise, and lift my eyes to see Your majesty, Your holiness
All I am will bless You.
My hope is in the Name of the Lord, where my Help comes from
You're my strength my Song, My trust is in the Name of the Lord
I will sing your praise, You are faithful.

My eyes fail from looking upward. Is. 38:14

Oh, that I had wings like a dove! For then I would fly away and be at rest!" Ps55:6

Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit" says the Lord of Hosts." Zech 4:6

Tonight, I have been told to BE QUIET. So I will not be replying to emails...I will not be commenting on blogs...this post is it.
I need to be filled up...

March 18, 2006

while my hair dries: poll results

Ok, so lets look back at this last was a difficult one for me, because, as I mention ALL of the answers were favorites of mine-and so, I was cheering for all of them to win....I tried to not take it personally when one only got chosen once ( meh)..but it was hard. ;-) So here we go...

5% chose Finding Neverland: This SHOCKS ME..have you just not SEEN this movie?! Its wonderful! Johnny Depp is fabulous...those little boys are heart breaking...the moral of the story is a beautiful...seriously I cant BELIEVE only ONE of you thought this movie was worthy to watch with me :-P

10% chose Serenity: I'm less shocked about this, because I bet you really HAVENT seen this movie ( some of you told me as much) so let me just say, if you want to have some good solid fun-go rent this movie. I was purely delighted by its unpretentiousness (is that a word?) of bringing me really good science fiction. I think one of the main reasons this movie will forever be on my list of favorites is that I was so HAPPILY SUPRISED at how much I enjoyed it. I sat there on my couch, on the edge of my seat with a grin on my face...its great. But only two of you think so too :-(

24% chose Lord of the Rings: Return of the King: fabulous movie isnt it? Seriously, I love it...and I've got sooo many good memories attached to it. Watching the extended edition ( for the first came out that very day) in the Boys Flat on my second to last day in New Zealand...watching it while actually SITTING in the seat where Elijah Wood sat at the premier in Wellington with the REAL Sam sitting next to me...awwwwww! Of course, if you had been there for the FIRST time that I saw it you would have experienced me complaining about minor changes from book to movie...buuuut over time, I have mellowed considerably and have become more liberal in my views about book to movie adaptations. ;-)

29% chose The Village: Because this movies is THE most romantic movie EVER...and because its in THE most untraditional sense of the word "romantic", and because the soundtrack is riviting...and because....well, the list could go on, but I'm glad other people like it too...I always feel that this movie got a bad rap, so I am happy to know it did so well on my little poll. ALL IS RIGHT IN THE WORLD! hahaha!

33% chose Beauty and the Beast: I admit...I'm shocked. I mean, SURE, I LOOOOVE this movie, get me started and I WILL sing all of the "Tale as old as tiiiime, truuuuue as it can beeee, barely even friends than somebody bends unexpectedlllllyyyyy..." and of course, I cant get ENOUGH of that moment when the Beast gives Belle that huge library...that ALONE makes this movie wonderful. But, to tell you the truth I didnt know I had so many fellow fans reading my blog! Interesting...but I'm happy. :-)

Its been fun....and feel free to take me up on the offer of watching one or more of these fantastic movies again ( or for the first time) and know that you're watching GREATNESS :-) :-)

P.S. I cant think up a new poll mind is a either give me suggestions ( you can email me) patient I'll get to it soonish.

March 17, 2006

wait, now WHAT comes after pride?

a "fall"
or in this case......a speeding "citation" ( is that what they call it these days?)..

Ok, you need to read this post in your MOST pitiful sad voice, because THAT'S the one I'm using right now:

I kid you not, JUST today I was driving down North St. ( probably the most busy street in little ol' Nac just in case you dont know) and I saw a cop...and I was like, "wow, you know...its pretty cool that I've never gotten a ticket, I wonder if I'll ever get one?! hmmm."

I KID YOU NOT...nary a THREE HOURS LATER I was driving down that very same road ( going the opposite direction) and I got PULLED OVER....

Apparently, along with ( I feel) everyone else going down that street I was speeding...but, I was the lucky one to be pulled over by Officer We-Could-BE-The-Same-Age. In fact, the irony of the situation was so very very strong, and my guilt was so very very apparent ( apparently, since I actually truthfully had NO IDEA I was speeding)...I didnt even try to cry ( oh, but I wanted to) or make an excuse ( my mind was a perfect blank)...instead, I waited calmly while Officer Young-One sat in his cop car for what felt like an hour, praying that it would just ALL END NOW...and THAT I WOULDNT CRY IN HIS FACE.

I then promptly came home to write you about it....

I wish I had some chocolate...or a hug...or a joke...or SOMETHING to make me feel less like an jerk. Because, that's what I feel like...I probably deserved this, but it doesnt make it any better :-(

mac 'n cheese in the mornin'

I mean, sure its only 11am...but come one...I'm hungry...and its all I've got.
Don't judge.

So, today is Saint Patricks Day. Woo.
I'm wearing Green Earrings to keep the pinching doctors at bay. Ew. ;-)

In other news, today is going rather well, considering I really and truly felt like YESTERDAY was suppose to be Friday...and TODAY was suppose to be Saturday.
So, considering we're a day behind, things are ok.

This weekend is going to be pretty full on, but I'm looking forward to it...for one thing...the highly anticipated wedding of my non-brother-in-law is this weekend. Yay!

against my own rules...

Ok, so I realize I made a rule that I wouldnt blog before 9am...or before my coffee kicks in...buuuut...this doesnt count. Because its not a REAL post ...

I just wanted to make sure everyone read Dilbert today because it really struck me funny for some reason.



March 16, 2006

A ponder...

I was reading Carmi's blog just now, she mentioned some good, funny memories...and I had this great longing to talk someones ear off.
let me explain, or should I say, let me be more specific...

I am always careful to not talk about NZ that much...I'll mention offhanded moments, I'll answer questions in neat and tidy paragraphs...but I am sensitive to not talk too much to the point of creating boredom around me. I use this rule for most things in my life...never keep the talk going for TOO LONG...
I know I've said this before.
But, I thought I'd say it again..because, even though this is what I DO...what I WANT to do is totally different:

I would LOVE for someone to all of a sudden have this amazing fascination with my life and ask me to account anything that I want...I would then sit down to a detailed account of my friends and the antics that we've carried out over the years, I'd teach you new words, I'd repeat funny sayings, I'd share inside jokes..and then I'd laugh...I'd account the rules to various party games that kept us all entertained for hours...I'd tell you about trips I've taken, I'd spill out details of conversations that I've had...I'd discribe the places I've lived and how I decorated each one and made it home...I'd list foods that I've tried and the things I crave and the things I hated...
And, i dont even think this applies to just my life in New Zealand...I'd want to tell you about my childhood friends...I'd want to tell you about my family and how we lived...I'd want to tell you about elementry school...and junior high...I'd want to bring up bad 80s styles and 90s trends...the great tragedies of my life, and the defining moments...the fantastic kodak moments and the horrible haircuts...

i think my voice would then dieout...and then I'd want to listen...I'd want to hear the same from you..because really, isnt that what's cool about people? We've ALL got fascinating stories...

Does anyone else feel like this?
Maybe its not the fact that I want to tell it...maybe its that I want someone to WANT to hear it.
Maybe its not the fact that I want to hear someone elses storie...maybe its that I want someone to WANT to tell it.

a shared secret...

My sister and I share this very strange delight in words. We will seriously LAUGH OUT LOUD at clever word play, or using a word that sounds funny...or just plain alliteration ( we dig it)...yes, we are word nerds, and this little item that I heard about on NPR last week delighted me to no end...

Word Fugitives

read it and you'll have a small idea of what FUN we have when we talk ;-)

three posts and counting...

Sure, I dont blog for the comments...I really dont...but after a while, when you've had three posts and nary a comment... you start to wonder if you've made ANYONE think anything AT ALL. Ah well, thats not even true...I figure people just dont comment all the time, heck, *I* dont comment THAT often when you look at the ratio of how many blogs I read and how many I actually comment on.

I'm just bored, and its only 11:41...which means, I'm not even halfway through my work day yet. I suppose I'll just go back to surfsing Wikipedia for random information...ask me about the Ashkenazi Jews sometime...

March 15, 2006

"make someone happy"

Thats a song....I have the version sung by Jimmy Durante...and it came into my head tonight as I sat here deciding whether or not to post or not...

Did you know that sometimes I stubbornly will NOT post? yeah, I think it has something to do with getting attention...but whatever...I'm not five anymore, so I'll try to overcome the silliness...

Today was my day off, and I spent most of the day "with myself"...which is always kind of nice, when you just sit and hang out alone. ( whoa, just now I got this weird "wrong number" call on my cell...this dude had the STRANGEST accent...would if have been wrong to ask him where he was from?!...oh well...)

Where were we? Oh, day. I got quite a bit done, but that stuff is boring so I wont go into it....I'll tell you the fun stuff....

I had to go pick up a package I'd had delivered to my parents P.O. Box, and i just so happen to come upon my parents in the middle of a photo-shoot for Esther and Christa's graduation I spent the next hour or so posing them, and making sure their hair looked perfect etc. etc...It brought back a serious passion of mine: When I was a HT at Carrington I use to do girls hair and makeup for balls and various other dressy events...which is ironic since I dont wear makeup on a day to day basis and I hardly EVER brush my hair...BUT, it is REALLY fun to make a girl feel pretty. Seriously, I think most of the girls I know do not KNOW how beautiful they are, and even if its just for a moment, I want them to be able to REALIZE how gorgeous they are...inside and out. I delight in it. I think its a serious shame that most girls do not know that they are perfect. Perfect just the way they are...
Anyway, I'm excited for these girls to see their pictures, I havent seen them yet...but Papa always does an incredible job of capturing unique beauty.....

So, remember that package I was talking about? Well, it was the first season of Extreme Makeover Home Edition....have you seen this show?! I first saw it in NZ at the Girls Flat...and seriously, every SINGLE episode that I saw made me cry. Now, I realize I cry at movies and tv shows all the time, at least I have lately, so I feel like I may have lost some crediblity...but let me just say, this show is AWESOME! This team of designers goes in and renovates ( in the greatest sense of the word) needy and deserving people's a week....and they always do little personal touches that really match the people's lives...ok, so as an example, there was this one family who had three little boys and they'd just bought their very first home (sort of a fixer-upper) when the dad got sent to Iraq, so his family wanted to suprise him by gettin the house fixed up before he got back ( they were living in really pitiful conditions)...and....ohmygoodness...I'm going to cry just thinking about it...they show actually GOT the Dad home to suprise his family....and...they did the back yard up as a mini-dodgers statium ( because all the boys loved baseball) and THEN several dodgers players came and played with them at the end...but you know what, even then...even with famous baseball players in their back yard, all those little boys could think about was having their daddy back...meeeeh....someone get me a tissue!!!

So, imagine me...on my couch...with tears streaming down my face.....yeah, that was me....

I wish I had that job, wouldnt that be FUN? to suprise people with amazing life changes that they couldnt get without help?!

But, I guess....doing little things for people is just as good, and in this day in which we live where the motto is most definitely "all for me and only me"...I guess that's just as unexpected and important....

Thus endeth this episode of "The lesson that Abigail learned today"

See you back at work tomorrow...

March 14, 2006

I promise...the last one of the day.

This is from my written journal, gets a LOT more personal in there then it does "out here"...but, well, I feel like I've been so superfical here:

Worries...complaints....unanswered prayers...they cover this page tonight, how can I feel this way? All these things are in your hands? Yey why do I fear? Why do I lose heart?

Today I didnt stop to pray as I should. WASTED the day in a mindless fashion! Oh forgive me! How I squandered what I've been given!

I look to quick delights, to things that will make me happy for the moment, happy halfway. I complain that I do not have enough, that these things do not fill me up...yet, even these halfwaythings...I deserve none of it...

"Brethern, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virture and anything praise wothy-mediate on these things." Phil 4:8

Today, I have not done these things...

The letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. 2 Cor 3:6

It is obvious how much I have failed this day...I HAVE fallen short of the glory of God...yet, You are ever merciful. Yet, you give so freely.

"I will cry to God Most High, To God who accomplishes all things for me. He will send from heaven and save me...God will send forth His lovingkindness and His truth." Ps 57:2-3

slow on the uptake...

Ok, so I was just catching up on some blog reading....and....well, I thought I better share this compliment ( even though its a bit late) with my New Zealand this blog posted by darling Sydney and...I'm just going to go ahead and take the compliment myself too, even though it wasnt about me...because, well, you guys are MY friends ;-)

Speaking of compliments...always, always pass them on....if you hear someone say something nice about someone else, it is NOT the time to keep it to yourself. ;-) Its what I like to call "good gossip".

Today I was told that I make "parties a lot "lighter" and "more fun"....THAT was enough to make ME happy for the rest of the day :-)

a list...

So, there are many things I COULD do right now, I'm home work and the rest of the day stretches out before me....yet, after a hardcore lunch ( the conversation, not the food) with my sister....I feel like just lying here....trying not to think.

So here's Song Association Game:

Harmony, Monk & Neagle: One of those "my wife is awesome" songs that Christian artists write when they are on tour...its good though, and as I girl you can only HOPE someone while write you a song one day ;-) ha! I mean seriously, read the lyrics...its sooo mushy and perfect!

Let it Roll, Train: Never fails...this song makes me think of Exams during 2003....I had an exam on the VERY last day of exams...and there were seriously no people left on campus except for the 45 other sad, unlucky few taking the exam with me....I listened to this song on my ipod waiting to go into the exam, lying on the grass outside the First Year Bio Lab ( which is where my exam was being held)...looking at all the stressed people around me, thinking that "in two hours I'll get to have brunch in the sun....just two hours...." ( I totally got a sunburn from lying there for ten minutes....hahaha! here's to New Zealand's harsh sun!)

Torn, Natalie Imbrulia: Tauranga in the spring...Lydia and I making mix CDs from her Sister-in-laws CD collection...this song was one of our picks...makes me think of lying on Lydia's parents lounge floor, with nothing to do but eat homemade potato wedges with sourcream and thai chili sauce...

Come What May, Moulin Rouge: This song makes me think of Sam....and Thida...and anyone else that knows all the words to Moulin Rouge songs. Specifically that moment in the care somewhere in Hastings where everyone in the car re-enacted half of the songs from this movie word-for-word. Fish-n-chips by the River. Freezing, yet beautiful Sunsets.

This Will Be ( An everlasting love), Natalie Cole: Ok, you are totally going to laugh at me for this one...but dont judge: I totally thought of Lindsey Lohan...because she was in The Parent Trap remake...and this song was totally in that movie. Dont ask me HOW I remember that, but for some reason movie soundtracks always stick with me longer than the actual movie does...So yeah, Lindsey.....I feel really sorry for her, she's just a lost littler girl in a horrible superfical world of hollywood.... ( oh, but I think this song is totally great, makes me want to dance around and sing into a hairbrush)

Sexy Plexi, Jack Johnson: Micah Nauck. I cant really listen to ANY Jack Johnson song without thinking of him. Micah was always my fellow Jack Johnson fan. Makes me miss Micah.

So Much to Say, Dave Matthews Band: Ohhh maaan, high takes me back to when I was a 'different person', not that I'm a TOTALLY different person now....I guess I'm just a more "defined, comfortable" version of myself now ;-)
But, yeah, this reminds me of when my musical tastes defined a part of who I was and who my friends where....ahh...makes me miss Meredith and listening to DMB in Volvo.

One Day at a Time, Jeremy Camp: The beginning of 2005...when I would listen to this CD and cry...and wonder when oh when would I be happy to be in Nacogdoches, when everything that was wrong would turn out right....hardest stuff I've ever been through-and I'm happy to report I am happy to be here in Nacogdoches, and things WILL be Right fact, in a year this week...the countdown begins! :-)

....ok, thats enough...

the low down...

I'm feeling pretty happy this morning, of course, its 8:30 and the hospital is reeeeally slow ( being spring break and all...), so that's probably why...
I was able to drink my coffee in perfect peace. ahhhhh! Delightful.

So, update on my new bed situation....the dog's barking this morning was as annoying as ever, but I wouldnt say it was I think its probably going to be a win situation. Apartment living. Its the life. heh.

I'm wearing new scrubs today. All of my pants were getting to be really gigantic and I felt like a balloon all the time...not that that's really a BAD thing...its just, from what I hear, the balloon look isnt in for spring.

In other news, I marinated some chicken yesterday, it turned out ok...but I felt really grown up...or at least I felt like Lydia who is my "cooks better than any of my other friends" friend.

Well, I think that's all I've got this morning, how's everyone else doing? If you've got the time...tell me what's up with is slooooow ( I think its going to be all week) and I could use the diversion. cheers.

March 13, 2006

the strong independent type thought it would be a good idea to re-arrange my room...All. By. Myself.
I think it will actually end up being a really good thing, because now my head is not directly up against the "loud neighbors", that will make life better? here's hopin....

But...we're getting off the subject. The SUBJECT is that *I* moved ALL my furniture, including a very heavy old desk and an insanely heavy queensized bed....I THOUGHT it would be clever just to take the bed apart piece by piece...and yes, that did help....instead of one giant heaviness it was three separate heaviness'...yes, that was clever, Abigail...veeeeery clever. Of course, I didnt realize how BAD it was until I had the boxspring leaning up against the door....and my mattress leaning up against the windows...and the frame in pieces on the floor...yes....I thought, "wow, if Evil Neighbor falls asleep with a ciggie right now and we all go up in flames, I am going to DIE trapped in this ROOM!"

i think it was that thought helped me push through the pain.

And, room is all cutsie again...just in a different order of cutsie.

But, you back is totally in pain right now. I think my independent " I can totally do this alone" thing was a complete shame and I am going to pay for it for a few days. bummer.

Yes, I am really a very girlie girl....I dig pink, I listen to love songs and sing along ...and SOME of you know ( via a deleted post) ..that I swoon at girlie movies... I embrace this about myself..and I WOULD pant my toenails red to honor this moment, except I can't reach my toes at the moment without pain.

no clever title.

I cant think of a title this morning. I've decided this has to do with an overdose of thinking over the weekend....couldnt sleep again last night. I think it has something to do with maybe getting off of that allergy medicine? its suppose to make you sleepy, so maybe I got ADDICTED to like...two weeks? Ok, probably, I think the no sleeping was part of the overactive thinking. Whatever. It wasnt fun, I thought about poor Sam who deals with this all the time. Poor baby, I dont know HOW you do it!

In other news, I burned my lip on my coffee this LIP...not my tongue, it didnt even get into my MOUTH before it started burning! meeeh!

March 12, 2006


So, I was in the middle of cleaning my bathroom...when my 409 cleaner froze in midair...what was THAT?

Is that....


I've come to the end of 1,109 songs on my itunes sad. its over....

In other news, I'm Writing again ( as in not on my blog, and not in my journals) ....dont know what came over me...just hope it sticks long enough for me to finish a sentence.

how embarrassing!

SO, I was sitting in church tonight, and i was like....WHAT were you THINKING posting that last post?!
I vowed right then and there to come home and delete it....but I didnt get home until, after looking at my blog readers...seems like a bunch of people in Nacogdoches and a person in New York read my cheesy post...but no more ;-)


( I bet those of you that didnt get to read it...are reeeeally sorry you didnt check my blog between 3-9 on Sunday...that'll teach you!)


I'll try and make it up to you somehow: In fact, here's your chance...ask me a question, I dont care how private...I promise to at least CONSIDER writing about it.


I am NOT a planner....oh, dont get me wrong, I'm a dreamer. Absolutely. But, most of the time I'm very happy to go with the flow once reality sets in...I dont plan on much in my life....for instance, I've got TEN paid vacation days stored up, as of this month...and I have NO plans on how to use them. I do, on the other hand, have DREAMS on how to use them...most of my dreams require more money than I have...and I just have this deep down feeling that something will happen where I will NEED those vacation days...and so I still havent used them....ahhhh!
Anyway, in saying all of that about how I dreeeeam and I dont I sit here at work with an INSANE amount of films to be read. I have made some serious plans for day once I actually get out of here:

When I get home I plan to put on my PJs and stay in them until church tonight.
I plan to sit on my couch and drink a juice box and watch Pride and Prejudice
I plan to fall asleep on said couch, while watching said movie.

Sometimes plans are gooooood.

March 11, 2006


I woke up at SIX this morning and couldnt go back to sleep. it was awful.

I'm going to bed now. Maybe my body has learned its lesson.

dont miss me too much, good night.

Lord of the rings:the question.

The question: When will Abigail finish it?!

Answer: Who knows...maybe soon...but until then...more quotes.

'Do not be afraid," said Aragorn. "I came in time, and I have called ( Merry) back....these evils can be amended, so strong and gay a spirit is in him. His grief ge will not foget; but it will not darken his heart, it will teach him wisdom...
Suddenly Merry awoke, and he said: "I am hungy. What time is it?"

"Go at once! Ever since that night at Bree we have been a nuisance to you. But it is the way of my people to use light words at such times and say less than they mean. We fear to say too much. It robs us of the right words when a jest is out of place." (said Merry).
"I know that well, or I would not deal with you in the same way, said Aragorn. "may the Shire live for ever unwithered!"

At the doors of the Houses many were already gathered to see Aragorn, and they followed after him; and when at last he had supped, men came and prayed that he would heal their kinsmen or their friends whose lives were in peril through hurt or wound, or who lay under the Black Shadow. And Aragorn arose and went out, and he sent for the sons of Elrond, and together they laboured far into the night. And word went through the City: "The King is come again indeed."

Legolas: "...there I heard ( gulls) crying in the air as we rode to the battle of the ships. Then I stood still, forgetting war in Middle-Earth; for their wailing voices spoke to me of the Sea. The Sea! I have not yet beheld it. But deep in the hearts of all my kindred lies the sea-longing; which it is perilous to stir. Alas! for the gulls. No peace shall I have again under beech or under elm."

"Other evils there are that may come, for Suron is himself but a servant of emissary. Yet it is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years werein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule."

March 10, 2006


I'm worrying a lot at the moment...not really worry worrying...I'm just thinking about a lot of different things. In a lot of ways my job is great for thinking and praying and anything else that I can do while I also do my job...because, well, I can do my job totally and utterly without thinking...I can talk on the phone, I can hang up films, I can organise the lives of any number of doctors, I can carry on conversations with doctors about there own lives....all while thinking my own thoughts...doing my own thing.
BUT, sometimes, when I'm only using an 8th of my brain out in the real world, I dont particularly THINK before I speak, which isnt bad most of the time, because most of the time what I speak consists of the following: "yes", "Sure", "uh-huh", " I understand", "Absolutely".

However, sometimes...THIS happens:

First Doctor ( as he's about to walk out the door to do a particularly un-fun procedure): "They should always schedule these when Doctor ___ is here, because he likes doing them.

Me: Maybe its not that he likes doing them its just that he doesnt COMPLAIN about doing them!

Other Doctor: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

First Doctor: ( Look of shock).

Me: ( turning bright red) Ohmygoodness. I'm SO sorry! Pretend like I didnt say that!

Other Doctor: AHAHAHAHA! That was great! I am going to remember that for WEEKS!

not the story I thought it was...

There once was a princess who lived in a lovely castle surrounded by a beautiful garden. As the Princess grew up she would go out into the garden to play, to do her lessons, to think when she was contemplative, to sing when she was joyful, to cry when she was sad...she did everything out in the garden. Now, over the garden walls the people of the surrounding world could see the princess and many of the young princes of the world heard of her beauty and came to look at the Princess, and they couldnt help but fall in love with her...afterall, along with her beauty, she seemed so open and honest and therefore she was easy to get to know! They watched, and loved it when she laughed, they loved it when she sang, they even loved it when she one by one the young princes sent her roses...

At first the Princess was just suprised that anyone would send her roses, but...she liked roses quite a bit, and so she stopped being suprised and just started planting the roses.
So she watched with great delight as they grew around her...but as they grew ,she saw that some of them had little black spots on them...or they had big thorns that scratched her when she got close...or they flourished with beautiful blooms only to wither and fad in only a few days. This made the Princess sad, and she turned to the maidens that waited on her and complained about her roses.
"My roses have black spot!"
"My roses have big thorns that scratch!"
"My roses fade more quickly than any other rose!"

The maidens were kind and did the best they could to encourage their princess...
Some told her that the black spot would surely go away if she tended the rose more carefully...
Some told her that if she stood far enough away from the thorny roses and then leaned in to smell them, she wouldnt get scratched...
Some told her that if she watered the roses more, they wouldnt fade quite so quickly....

So the Princess, pulled herself together and began working harder on her rose garden, afterall, she felt like people were beginning to talk...they were surely saying that she didnt APPRECIATE these beautiful rose gifts that the princes gave her...that she was being TOO PICKY....

One day as she was tending her rose garden to no avail she looked up over the wall of her castle and she saw, high up on a hill there was a garden and in the garden, a rose bush...and it looked Beautiful. As beautiful as a rose bush could look...from where she stood it looked like it didnt have any black spots, in looked like it didnt have anythorns at all! And that all the roses were perfect, and that none of the blossoms had faded...

For days the Princess would go out into her garden with the pretense of tending her own roses, but instead she would stand and gaze at the hill, at the garden and most of all, the Perfect Roses. Finally, after many days, the maidens that tended the princess came to her and asked her why she wasnt speaking of her roses anymore, she wasnt even complaining about their many many flaws.

"Why, I have lost interest in all roses...except for that rose way up on the hill!"

And sure enough, the maidens followed the Princess's pointing finger and they saw the hill, and the garden...and finally they saw the Perfect Rose.

The maidens loved their princess and wanted her to be happy, so they sent out messengers to find out who owned the rose that was in the garden on the hill. For they knew their Princess would not be happy without that Rose.

After many days of searching and questioning, the messengers finally found the Prince who owned the hill and owned the garden and more importantly owned the Perfect Rose.

So, the maidens immediately went before the Prince to ask if their dear princess could have the roses...
After hearing their story and their pleas of how their princess thought of nothing else, the Prince looked long and hard at the maidens.

Finally, he spoke. He explained to the maidens that he could not give the princess his roses because she would surely be disappointed.
'Why ever not?!" exclaimed the maidens, "Your roses are PERFECT, they dont have black spots, they dont have thorns and they dont fade after a few days!!!"

The Prince laughed and motioned the maidens to follow him up the hill, into the garden and finally to stand before his Perfect Roses. It was then that the maidens GASPED, for they couldnt believe their eyes...

For on the Perfect Rose, they could see a few black spots and there were definitely some thorns hidden under the leaves...and sure enough many of the blossoms had faded...
The Prince smiled a sad smile and said, "It is up to the Princess, she can either stay in her little garden and admire the Perfect Rose from a far or she can up onto my hill, and into my garden and love this rose...even though she will find that it is not as perfect as she once thought."

The maidens stepped away from the Perfect Rose, went out of the garden, and ran down the tell this important news to their Princess.....

March 09, 2006

waking up...

I think its because my room is kind of hot, but I just couldnt wake up this eyes hurt to open, my head felt like a ton of bricks....but finally I perservered and got up...and now I am lying in bed with a giant glass of juice. the not even CLOSE to making me as happy as, say, a nice latte. *sigh* I'm trying to be sooo goooood and not drink coffee while I'm "kidney stoned". booo!
( oh, did I mention its my day off? that's why we're talking at 11oclock and I'm still in bed...)

*pause* An interesting thing has happened in the past few days my thoughts have struggled to come out in written form. There are little Word standing out from the rest....something that happened yesterday....a conversation....but they dont come together easily into a blog...I write paragraphs and then I erase them, not satisfied. This has never happened before, that I can remember...I've always written "straight through"...just writing exactly what I'm saying in my head....or at least, exactly what I want to say out loud. But lately....lately I've had to struggle with the written word. We've had to wrestle....

I've decided it a good, growing thing...its something I should revile in....I was talking to Emma last night on the phone about writing and she was getting on to me ( as a good friend should) about not writing my "book"...and I said something that I've felt for a long time now...I think in a lot of ways writing a book was a World Dream for me, in that, then the world could easily look at my life and say "She's a successful writer. She's had an impact. She's done great things." ...But I've realized recently that I'll need God to write my book for me...He'll need to tell me each and every step so that, in the end, it wont be my book at will be His. And so far, He hasnt written anything on my, instead, I must be faithful in what He HAS given me to write....this blog. Something that few could see as being "successful" ( afterall, anyone can write a BLOG)...that the world will shake their heads at and say "all that wasted talent." ...or something equally wrong. Because, sometimes waiting for the word "Go!" the hardest and greatest thing we can ever do.

Somedays, I feel as though I'm being selfish or self-centered to write this blog at all...that all of this has been a LIE. That it's just fueling my own need to be listened to and encouraged, cheered on by passing readers....but, then I am reminded that its HARD. That many times I DONT want to write anything at all...that I've had to share things I didnt want to, I've had too many people to count judge me for writing what I write..tell me what I should or shouldnt write...I've dealt with mistakes out in the open so that all could see me fumble and fall...and above all, there is something I can't fully explain that tells me that I'm doing the right thing, every time I pray,
"I'm going to stop writing in that silly blog..."

So I will continue....

I still have something stuck in my brain, and maybe if I just think on it for a while I'll be able to come through and write it down....and I PROMISE I'll annoys me so much when people say, "I have to stop writing now, but I'll be back in an hour/minute/two days/fifty finish this story." and then they never do.

It is like all the symphonies that never got finished, the novels that are missing last chapters....its the paintings lying there in first draft form...I feel like the world is just a little sadder for each one of these unfinished works.

side effects include...

dry-mouth, lock jaw, and very very tired ears....

I just spent THREE STRAIGHT HOURS on the phone! But, it was good to catch up with dear friends....I am truly blessed.

March 07, 2006

A good memory...

So, it turns out I DO have a good memory sometimes! During my quiet time tonight a few verses really encouraged me greatly and I thought...oh MAN...its worth proclaiming this kind of goodness...but then, I thought, "heeeey, I think I've proclaimed this particular goodness before!" so after a quick word search I found that, yes, on February 9th 2005 I quoted these verses ( except I quoted them via the Shane& Shane "Beauty for Ashes" lyrics )...but lucky for me ( and possibly you) that month of my blog was sadly deleted off of the internet in the awful "Deleting Episode of 2005"...which means *I* get to share with you again...without "repeating myself".

"He has sent comfort all who mourn,
to console those who mourn in Zion.
To give them beauty for ashes,
the oil of joy, for mourning
the garment of praise for the Spirit of heaviness." ~ Is 61:1-3

Wow, sometimes the Joy of the Lord seems so...remote.
So....impossible. For one thing, I dont deserve it....for another thing, there are just SO many problems.
But then, then something really simple happens. It can be a simple as hearing your name...

Yes, He is faithful, to take our weeping and wipe all those tears away.


Severe writers block....I had something I wanted to say and I just CANT seem to "make it pretty" for you...blast. The worst thing about being me is that sometimes you feel like you're going to BURST if you dont get something I'm just going to SAY this...and maybe it will just thinking, just writing:

A reaccuring theme of the past year has been me fighting against "normal". It turns out, when faced with normalcy...I break out in a cold sweat and run from the room scream ( figuratively). While I enjoy the thought of getting a paycheck every two weeks like clock work, and I delight in routines...deep down ( well, maybe not even that deep) I am a full blown gypsy. Yup, under my "cool exterior" of hospital scrubs I am wearing a flowy skirt, bangle bracelets and giant hoop earrings ( figuratively speaking, of course). Yes, this gypsy nature lives for a life that allows you to grab your passport and go....but since that is a life that few people live... This nature comes out in other ways....For instance, I truly desire to have such a "go with the flow" nature that I could drop anything and everything for a friend in need, for a long-distance phone call...for a improptu sleepover with a friend that needs some friendly company.

And over this past year I realized that I could hold on to some of my bangles and a couple of my hoop earrings ( figuratively) while still wearing scrubs to work. Yes, it turns out that when we 'grow up' God does not turn us into little carbon-copies of each other ( praise the Lord!) ....He doesnt make us turn in our hopes and our dreams for a pile of "reality"...of course, in saying that, I'm starting to realize more and more, when my dreams actually HAPPEN they dont always look like I thought they would...They are better. Because they are Real. I am happy to say that the Lord knows me better than I knew myself...I didnt realize that I would react so to "the real world" I didnt realize that I was so attached to bangle bracelets ( figuratively speaking)...but God knew, and that is why He, in all his wisdom, gave me a job that lets me be lets me just walk out the door when my Papa calls and has horrible lets me sleep late after an emergency talk-through-it overseas phonecall from a friend in need....because, my dear blog readers...THAT is what I live for. THAT is what makes me grateful that I can be there for those I care for....its why I write this blog, its why I write emails...its why I make phone calls...its why I wear hoop earrings.

Whew. I feel better.

March 06, 2006


My Daily Light reading was SOOO good tonight that I'm going to give you practically EVERY one of the verses....seriously, I needed this reminder tonight...Oh, we have a gracious God. A faithful God.

" The Lord your God, went in the way before you to search out a place for you to pitch your tents, to show you the way you should go, in the fire by night and in the cloud by day." Deut. 1:32-33

"As an eagle stirs up its nest, hovers over its young, spreading out its wings, taking them up, carrying them on its wings, so the Lord alone led him. " Ps 37:23-24

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way, Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down, for the Lord upholds him with His Hand." ~Ps 34:19

"Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all." ~Ps.1:6

" We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."
Rom 8:28

"With us is the Lord our God, to help us and to fight our battles." 2 Chron 32:8

Saturday nights poll

well its about that time again...time to see what ya'll would most rather do on a Saturday night...this was a fun poll for me because, well, on any given Saturday I would be happy doing ANY of those choices...but since we're being picky ( we are) I'll rate them on what I USUALLY like to do ;-)

7% of you would like to dress up all glamorous like and mingle at a party. I'd have to say the stars have to reeeeeally align for me to choose this one, but that being said, I get excited about dressing up. And I'm a big fan of mascara...and usually glamorous parties give me the opportunity to bat my eyes a little ;-) hehe. Sadly, Nacogdoches lacks in glamorous if you know of any...remember to invite me! :-P

14% of you want to blog out in front of the TV with a pizza.Unless I'm not feeling well ( which, granted, has been a lot lately) then I would much rather do something a BIT more stimulating. I cant blog out in front of the T.V. any day!

34% of you would like to settle in at a coffee house and chat with a friend.
Most definitely, especially a friend that I havent caught up with in a while...I like to hear about peoples lives, I like to discuss current events, important issues, not so important short, I am continually fascinated by people.

45% of you would have a small dinner part gathering with a few friends, throwing a little food/games into the mix. Once again I totally agree! Just this Friday night I had a delightful dinner with friends that I had missed all week. It was just LOVELY catching up with them...and I cant think of a better way to spend an evening.


Ok kids, our next poll question is a little combo of me...and a little combo of you...basically I will list MY favorite movies, and YOU tell me which movie you would most like to watch with me. ;-) So start answering!

oddly relieving.

So, I went back to the doctor (because I LIVE for spending the money) and I finally got an answer that made sense:
"Congrats! Its a Stone!"

Yup, I've got another kidney stone hanging out between my kidney and my bladder...making life just a TAD uncomfortable. And I say a TAD because lucky for me its apparently a really teeny tiny stone, either that..or its just not moving yet.

When I got to work today my doctors told me that I should get a six pack of beer and drink it down along with a gallon of water and I'd wash this baby right on out of town....but, the thing is, I dont like beer....I've never been a fan. So, does anyone have any suggestions of, like, a really mild beer...or something that I wouldnt mind drinking six of? I dont know these things...I'm a winecooler girl myself ;-) hahaha!

Its kind of relieving to know exactly what's making me feel so bad. You feel less like your gonna die when you know what's killing you ;-)

I dont really have anything else to add to this post...except to say, that I am optimistic that we'll all get to stop talking about my various medical ailments sometime really soon. Because its boring. Dont you agree?

Ok, so interesting:
I'm eating roasted green peas at the moment...yummy stuff....I suggest you go to your nearest Whole Foods, Central Market or your local supermarket that has an international food section and get some for yourself...AND on a side note they make you super thirsty, which is good for me.

March 05, 2006

Close enough to touch...

"I see Heaven before me,
Angels passing around me.
Here I stand in awe of Your beauty.
Captured by Your holiness.

Lift up your eyes, all of heaven's in worship
Angels rejoice and the clouds will be filled with the wonder of Your name,
with the wonder of Your name
The train of His robe feels the temple with glory
Heavenly hosts fall before Him in worship crying
"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty. "

I see heaven before me.
Angels passing around me.
Here I stand in awe of your beauty.
Captured by your holiness."
~Lift up your Eyes~ Hillsong

Sundays, songs that start with "S", Serious sentences.

I'm lying in bed....I've been here for a while...looking at the ceiling fan.
We all know how much I love it here. Seriously, am I THE laziest person ever?!
All I know is that I like to just sit and think about things, listening to music....I've composed FIVE blog posts that will never actually be published...I just wrote them and deleted them. That's what I needed. Its possible that I wont publish this one either...I'll come to the end and realize it was just for me...

Sometimes, things arent meant to be "published". I was thinking recently what would I do if I felt like I should stop blogging.
I know I've mentioned it before, but this blog is not just something I just DO everyday...several times a day, without LEAST once a week I think about stopping it. For various reasons, and every single time I feel reassured that it is not just fueling some inner need to be "listened to" or "be important" or something utterly selfish, no I think for the moment it's still more than long as it brings glory to God in some way I'll keep dealing with all the drama that it seems to inevitably bring.
But...that doesnt mean that one day I'll need to stop. So, what would I do? I've even wondered if, maybe, I'd be a better writer if I DIDNT post on my blog so much, if maybe then I'd write some amazing memoir...hahaha! Maybe one day we'll all get to find out.
I've also wondered how many people would actually MAKE the effort to still keep in touch with me if i didnt have something that was so easy to read everyday. It's like the spoon feed version of me. It would definitely be harder to get into my head, and would anyone think it was worth it? hehe...woaaa....thoughts like that make me just want to stop today just to see what would happen....but no, that really WOULD be selfish. No, this is better...this way no one has to comment unless they want to, they dont have to read it unless they want to, they dont have to email unless they want to....this is better.

I was just reading a friends blog and I totally understood what she meant by being totally content and yet STILL wanting to go somewhere. Lately, I've really really wanted to go to Asia. So many places and people there that I want to see....and then there's Africa...all those faces, I can close my eyes and see their faces..I just want to hug some of those little girls....but, instead, I'll just lie here in bed...thinking and writing sentences in my head.

Listening to:
"Strength to Shout" Mikeschair
"Stronger than" Hillsong
"Stuck in a Moment" U2
"Stuck in the middle with you" Stealers Wheel

March 04, 2006

my oscars post...

many blogs of the world are practically buzzing about the upcoming I felt like I should buzz too.
In the past, I've shown supportive interest in the oscars, I've even skipped class ( yes, I'm ashamed too) to hang out with my good friends Sam and Sunshine to watch them live ( Yeah, its annoying living in NZ where they are on Monday at 10:30 in the morning) which, everytime we bet ( I think it was like 50centsNZD a category) and I always ended up shilling out $5NZD by the end of it....HOWEVER, this year...not owning a TV....and not having either Sunshine or Sam around to fuel any oscar fun, I've decided to just save time and post the categories that I care about, instead of all fifty million ( it feels like that while your watching), so after much thought on this....I will now post my Oscar predictions for all the categories that I care about:


March 03, 2006

No day like today...

I just watched was good...but it didnt make me cry. What DID make me cry was the documentary about the writer, Jonathan Larson...who died of an aneurysm the night before Rents very first performance....ohmygoodness. tragic.

Anyway, watching all of this has made me miss my favorite dramatic friend.... and it makes mewant to see everyone's little inspirational dreams come true. makes me want to write that someone will remember...

Ok, hand me another tissue...and maybe a copy of the Rent soundtrack.

Have a good friday night everybody!

In heaven

So, last night I got the sweetest e-card fromNam, and after reading it, I first thought how sweet she was, and how I missed her and then I thought-wow, HEAVEN is going to be WONDERFUL. Sometimes, I miss heaven more than others...and for many different reasons, but my thought last night was how WONDERFUL it will be to see Dear Friends again. I have a pretty good feeling that the longer I live, the more wonderful people I will meet. And, the one downfall to this is that I can never have everyone that I love in one place, at one time-but I will in Heaven...and sometimes I cant wait.

Also, after several complaints made by a particular person who didnt like the category they were in on my links... I took the opportunity to make things like they will be in heaven. All my friends hanging out together. NOW are you happy Paul?

March 02, 2006

I feel popular.

So, I went to my sister's house this evening...without my cell phone....which has been a common thing this week...I keep forgetting it....anyway I digress, so I got home to find THREE voice mails on my cell phone and ONE on my landline. OHMYGOSH! I feel SOOO COOOOOOOL!!! I NEVER get messages! ( ok, I do...but not that many).

Anyway, I am WIDE awake at the moment...which is a problem, because its 10pm. But, its probably because I slept from 3 to five this afternoon. ooops. But I NEEDED it. My poor rundown self ( hahah!)...I am on ( count it) FOUR medications at the moment...isnt that exciting? And none of them are for being a hypercondriac (how do you actually spell that?) which is shocking because I really felt like that might be a valid point at this stage of my existence and my seeming addiction to going to the doctors office three times in two weeks....anyway....I digress again.

So, did I tell you guys that I've started a little "girls group" ( that's what I call it in my head) with three of the girls from my church? I didnt tell you, and its been going on for two weeks now ( SEE?! there ARE things I dont tell my blog!!!)...and I think the main reason I havent mentioned it is because I couldnt quite put its importance into words without it sound utterly and completely self-involved. But THEN ...I snapped out if I and reminded myself that there is a very high possiblity that this whole entire BLOG has a sort of self-involved theme running throughout it...just because of the unescapable fact that it is a BLOG. Anyway...I digress.,....let me tell you about why this girls group has been so cool for me...thus far ;-)

Way back when I was about to leave NZ I had various meltdowns...I'm sure many of you remember them....yup, I had a few....and then, after I actually LEFT NZ I had various other meltdowns...and yup, I bet you remember those too. Anyway, among all those melt downs I actually did a lot of ACTUAL good "preparation"....its what i like to call "praying over EVERYTHING"...I pretty much prayed for ever possible thing I wanted to happen in this next section of my far as I could see...which, turns out, wasnt that far...but I prayed over everything I COULD get my mind around and that pretty much consisted mainly of your basic "family, church, work, living" ( not necessarily in that order) categories. And when I was praying about my church I had a reeeeally big desire to start a group that has now actually come into being. I even had two of the girls on my heart even way back then...and I felt SURE that it was suppose to happen. But, it didnt take long in me arriving back in the States that I had MUCH bigger fish to fry, and that God had some other plans for my time then, but even while I was going about frying those fish I felt very clearly that God said that He'd tell me when the right time was for that prayer to turn into action last year was filled with...well, a BUNCH of live-stretching events. Seriously. I never want to go back there ;-)...but anyway, it was great and I would also never exchange that year for anything. But, then just in the most easy and perfect manner this girls group came back into the picture. In a matter of two weeks after I felt it placed back into my path I actually felt the "go ahead"...and that is how it came that Mary, Christa and Esther ended up in my house two Monday nights ago....and to tell you the truth once I actually GOT them there...I was like, "whoa, what the heck are we suppose to DO?!"
hahaha! But, seriously, I'm starting to see that its going to be great...I'm really really excited. And, look, I've ALREADY learned another fantastic lesson about God.
No prayer goes unanswered, no passion goes unfulfilled, no dream goes unaddressed. Our God is PERFECT like that. So, I say go dust off those old prayers that you use to be passionate about, because God hasnt forgotten about them....

48 states

So, remember that episodes of Friends when Ross cant have Thanksgiving dinner until he can name all fifty states? Well, I was reminded of that today...and so while I was waiting to see the Hot PA...I tried to name all the states off the top of my head...I got forty-two in less then a minute, and I sat around and thought of six more...but those last two....

I'm going to try again a little later. But, for my US many can YOU name?


I'm not feeling very well...what's the deal with all the sickness....I am really starting to think its all in my head. I probably just want an excuse to go see The Wendy. ;-) hahahah!

In other news, I did some blog links spring you will see I deleted a couple of blogs in my links section. Sadly a few of you hadnt posted in so long that I've given up hope-of course, this doesnt mean I deleted you off of if you ever post again... I WILL bring you back. ;-) that's a threat/promise. Also, for those of you interested.... as in Aunt Donnave's comment "Whoa, do I know Brett?? Does he have a blog?? Love his written word!!" Brett has a blog now. Maaaan I love it when friends come over to the darkside...I mean....the blogging world.

March 01, 2006

my ring finger

Last Thursday I lost my ring....or at least I THINK it was thursday. All I know is I woke up Friday morning without it.
I've been in total denial ever since.

But, tonight, I was having a little praise/prayer time on my bedroom floor ( as you do) and I felt like it was finally time to look for the ring...and yup, its offically gone.

To be totally honest with you, I want to cry....

This ring was this very simple silver ring, James Avery I think, It had a little heart and two flowers on either side of the heart...that's it...nothing special right? I could totally replace it.
But it meant more than that...When my grandmother died I was 13 maybe 14. And this ring was in her jewlry collection, still in its little box...and it was given to me, because well, she had meant to give it to me at some point, anyway....I always considered it her last gift to me. That at and a gold wedding band is pretty much all i have of hers...and, well, it would be odd for me to wear a wedding band all the time....
So I wore this little ring...pretty much nonstop from then first it was on my middle finger of my right hand...but in college it moved to my ring finger as a reminderof various things that I figured out in college.... and that is where it has stayed-it was never taken off, expect when I was in the ocean or putting on lotion...but now its gone.
I put another ring on my ring finger on friday, because I still wanted the reminder of lessons there...but I figured I'd find MY ring....I figured it would turn need to panick....
Is it wrong that I am SO sad?!

I shouldnt be so attached to a THING.


Its not that I DISLIKE has its perks. I really like hot tea....I really love bonfires...and fireplaces....and I really enjoy frosty nights....I love scarves and sweaters...I'm a fan of mittens. BUT I am pretty sure none of those things give me the CONSTANT joy that SUNNY weather gives me!
Seriously, day two of this beautiful weather has left me feeling UTTERLY happy. I mean, its not even like I did anything that extra special today...its just that I got to do ALL my extra special things with the SUN beating down on me. Now, I know this wont last forever...but while it does I sing praises to the sky...for this is glorious.

Ok, in other news...I am happy to report that Lady in the Tramp IS as good as I remembered it. And I recommend every one of my readers go out and rent it/buy it/borrow it tomorrow...because, seriously, this kind of good clean wholesome fun is hard to come by these days...

In other other wonderful father got my side-mirror on my car fixed today....MUCH appreciated! And I have to say driving around with him for the hour that it took for the people to fix was actually more delighting to me than getting it made me realize that I havent gotten to do that with him in a loooong time. I think my father has an interesting life. He does so many things throughout his days and he does all those things with this air of ease and delight that people just WANT to stop and talk to least that's the best way I can figure it. Maybe he's just a magnetic person plain and simple. For example, have you ever gone and had coffee with him before? Well, if you havent...its an cannot do it without being interrupted at LEAST three times...and usually about 5 to 10, depending on the day of the week and the time of day..of course, I dont blame the people father is a great guy. I'd want to talk to him too.
( this little paragraph is in honor of the fact that he started drinking coffee again after going for a successful month without it....which turned out to be possibly the WORST month for him...ever. hehehe...poor papa, but SO glad he's back! :-) )