November 30, 2006


Metaphysical poetry....I dig it.

I was reminded of this fact when I started reading this book last week...which is mystical poetry....and that's pretty much metaphysical......and so tonight I was sent searching for my Metaphysical poets from my university days......

Henry Vaughn.....John Donne....George Herbert....

I do realize these are dusty old british poets from the 17th century....but their poetry makes me cry.

And then this....

....O that thou shouldst give dust a tongue
To cry to Thee,
and then not hear it crying! All day long
My heart was in my knee
But no hearing.

Therefore my soul lay out of sight,
Untuned, unstrung;
My feeble spirit, unable to look right,
Like a nipped blossom, hung
O cheer and tune my heartless breast;
Defer no time,
That so thy favors granting my request,
They and my mind may chime
and mend my rhyme
(from "Denial" ~George Herbert)

I feel like that is the cry of so many at the moment, and its a comfort to see that it isnt a new development.
But, neither is this:

Great God, our lowliness takes heart to play
Beneath the shadow of Thy state;
The only comfort of our littleness
Is that Thou art so great....
( from another Frederick Faber poem...)

all kinds o-fun

Because I'm really lame I put up a countdown counter till my surgery. hehe.
I've had the questions pouring in about exactly WHAT is going to happen to me-and while there isnt super much I can tell at this point ( the doctor is not in the habit of volunteering information, and I am not in the habit of asking for it.)

I will say this, I find it really really cool ( in an odd sort of way) that Emma had this surgery only a few months ago and therefore can tell me more than most people can. So, hopefully, it wont be all that bad...with pain medication and the forced-resting I should be good to go in about a week. And HOPEFULLY they will clear out some of the endometrosis that is plaguing me and we can all go on our happy way.

Last night it actually WOKE ME UP in the wee morning hours to remind me of its presence. Poor Thida I hope I wasnt moaning or anything annoying like that. I left her watching Grey's Anatomy at a very early evening hour last night so I could go lie on my bed in that blissful medicated state I've become so familiar with....

Luckily, she gets a weird nerdy medical kick out of watching medical shows. ;-)

Changing the subject: The weather has dropped at LEAST 15 degrees since I arrived at work today...its insane. I mean, really quite COLD.
AND it started raining just as I was pulling into work and so I looked around my car for one of my two where to be found.

Had to run in the rain. Graceful. I'm sure.

Arrived in my office to find BOTH umbrellas sitting helpfully by the door. boo.

November 29, 2006


So, to be honest, I am really really excited about my surgery.
I've been in a lot of pain tonight, and to be honest there are times when I'd like to just RIP out my insides to make myself feel better.


But, isnt it exciting that my whining about this pain might be over FOREVER by the middle of December?!


Good times, Thida went to Houston today ( in fact, she's still not home)...she DID get her ticket to Tennesse. Which means that she'll be taking her Thida-Awesomeness to the only other "T" state in the USA.
Woo. I'm so excited for her. I've always felt that trips were something that were MORE than just "fun" and just "sight seeing"...God has always given me really wonderful unexpected life lessons via every trip I've been on.
Of course, she's leaving me....which is those Tennesse people had better APPRECIATE my sacrifice. ;-)

November 28, 2006


So, SOME people have mentioned that Thida and I were wearing a LOT of makeup to the Imogen Heap concert ( not to mention any names)-and I'm not at all implying that there was Judgment in their tone. no not at all.
But... *i* would like to point out that...concerts REQUIRE more makeup...just because of the possible sweating...and the whole "low lighting" situation...meaning you just need to PAINT YOUR FACE ON. And therefore, there is NOTHING WRONG with wearing "lots of makeup."

Anyway to counteract the "pointed" observation, Thida snapped this picture of the two of us a few days ago....we had just woken up and gotten dressed and I was literally standing in front of the mirror putting my hair in braids when she took the photo.
We have no make up on.
Not even chapstick.
And this is very normal.

And we were definitely a 2 out of ten. So there you go...once again, I prove that my blog has more bad pictures of myself than good....


Thida has given permission for me to publish this photo...and you know what, personally...I like this photo better anyway.
I mean, THAT'S how i see myself...and yes, that's kinda vain I guess...but its true. So now you know what I actually think of myself.

good or bad.
I'm a two. ;-)

it actually works.

So, today, I had roses and chocolates delivered to my office.

And I'm speechless...with what to say about how that made me feel.

Well, I take that back, its actually really easy to come up with....but also extremely mushy, and I try to keep mushiness to a minimum on this blog.

So, think of something mushy and sappy...and go with that.

I'm about to go tell my entire board of directors that with holiday ( that cant be avoided) and my surgery recovery...I will be working a grand total of 9 days in December.

Wish me luck.

Better yet, pray.


So, the prayers worked. My meeting went really really well...and no one seemed to care at all that I was missing so much work and that they were basically paying me to do nothing ( hahaha!)...but seriously, all the praise made me blush and makes me want to work harder so that I wont make them all liars.

Also, amazing and stupideous answer to prayer: One of my board members invited a technology support guy from SFA to the meeting and he's going to help me work out all the kinks on the website!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!! SERIOUSLY! Wonderful.

Oh. And did I mention that Thida rocks the cooking world?! ( I found yummy fried rice waiting on the stove after my meeting) She's a fabulous house guest...if I need to write recommendations I will. ;-) Her future husband is going to be SOOO lucky. ;-)

fight the dreary...

I'm kicking myself that I didnt take pictures of my Christmas decorations last night, because you're right...they WOULD be a nice way to start this dreary Tuesday...but We'll all have to wait for that-maybe my lunch break will happen today?

Anyway, today is going to be frightfully busy, so this is what I'm fighting the dreary with this morning:

One Grande Latte.
One piece of pecan coffee cake.
Emails from friends.
My new pencil skirt ( there is NO WAY to feel un-pretty in a pencil skirt...its impossible.)
Thida's habit of making bacon at all hours of the day. Cute.
The Promises of God. Renewed.

Blessings today, dear friends

November 27, 2006


Whoa. So, I have to be out of work for at least a week after my surgery...i didnt think it would be that long! Honestly, I'm starting to freak out about my board meeting tomorrow...I realize that they wont fire me, but I think they are going to WANT to. :-(


Plus, at the moment I'm trying really hard not to take on Thida's current ticketing stresses, but its hard not dont know, I just feel dreary.

Luckily, I've got a few back up plans to make me smile...

November 26, 2006

winter wonderland.

I've decorated for Christmas....I love my all my decorations-most of which I got between 1992-1996. Those were good years for the christmas decorations.

Especially my milk carton Santa looks fantastic on my front door.

And I have to say I dont think you can ever really grow out of the kiddie decorations. I think that's really what Christmas decorating is about anyway...the smell of melted wax and cinnamon....

So, I'm ready...let the holiday season begin!

Where's Waldo

So, I was talking to someone tonight and I said pretty much word for word the following: "Wow, I feel so sorry for because its so easy to see that they are miserable, and while they do realize they are miserable...they are looking for the solution in ALL the wrong places! They think that YOU will somehow fill up the big hole that they realize they have! When we both know only God can fix that miserableness. "

And then, later, I was praying with Thida...and it was like, God slapped me upside the head with that earlier comment....because isnt that what I do too? Constantly looking....constantly searching, filling up my actions....its all busy, busy, busy-trying to fill up that hole.

When really everything I need is in Jesus Christ. Its all there.

My life so often looks like a where's waldo picture...some of those little people look deceptively like Waldo...but when you look closely its just a red and white stripped scarf...and not the real deal. Oh, that I would just STOP the search for all the counterfeit Jesus's...and focus on the real deal.

I am a lost sheep, I am a wayward discipe, I am a common harlot

November 25, 2006

Once Upon a Time: Girls Night

So, last night, "the girls" and I had an anti-thanksgiving dinner ( aka. we were tired of starch foods in all shapes and forms and Thida was about to DIE if she didnt have "fruits and veggies RIGHT NOW". )

Off we went to Wal Mart and then home to cut up veggies.
preparing for anti-thanksgiving

Then we went crazy with the cooking....going so far as to put APPLES in our vegetables ( because we are brave and creative).
( and NO that wasnt posed, I look like that when I cook...)

I used my china ( because this was a special occasion)...and the table looked adorable.

We then did the usual "pose for a picture around the table" thing...which turned out rather well...even though Thida wasnt actually sitting on a chair.

After dinner the only thing to be done was to play SingStar for hours...which we did...and just because the pictures dont look like we're having fun doesnt mean it wasnt SUPER AWESOME.

And just to prove's the action version...


And then we all went to bed and slept like angels. The end.

The very thought...

I received a fabulous little book for my birthday, The Christian Book of Mystical Verse compiled by A.W. Tozer...

I love it so far...I often feel like my own lack of imagination keeps me from expressing the depths of my thoughts...the width of my feelings for the Lord. To be totally honest, I am continually trumped and therefore must just about ALWAYS turn to others for help. Luckily, Others have been given Divine Help...and thus I am constantly quoting song lyrics, psalms, verses, poetry and literary quotes to desparately fill up all the thoughts and feelings I cannot express....but in that, I find great delight. For, I feel as though I am having my quiet time not just with the Lord...but King David is there...and Rich Mullins is there...and Frederick William Faber ( Lived: 1814-1863) is here. Here with me, saying that which I coulld not.

Here is a little of the goodness that I read today...I wanted to quote the whole thing, but I felt like you might not read it all and that would bother me ;-)

The thought of God, the thought of Thee,
Who liest in my heart,
And yet beyond imagined space
Outstretched and present art,-
The thought of Thee, above, below
Around me and within,
Is more to me than health and wealth
Or love of kith and kin.

The thought of God is like the tree
Beneath whose shade I lie,
And watch the fleets of snowy clouds
Sail o'er the silent sky...

It is a thought which ever makes
Life's sweetest smiles from tears,
And is a daybreak to our hopes,
A sunset to our fears;

One while it bids the tears to flow,
Then wipes them from the eyes,
Most often fills our souls with joy,
And always sanctifies.

Within a thought so a great, our souls
Little and modest grow,
And, by its vastness awed, we learn
The art of walking slow....

To think of Thee is almost prayer,
And is outspoken praise;
And pain can even passive thoughts
To actual worship raise.....

(Read the rest sometime ( on page 13-14)....)

November 24, 2006

no false advertisment

So, today, I told Brett that he didnt have to worry...I dont just put "pretty pictures" of myself on my blog...and I dont wear lots of makeup for the SOLE purpose of making sure that what you what you get (isnt he lucky?) : you go:

this is me. exactly as I am.

bday dinner

( or at least as I am when I'm trying to say the word "no" in the new zealand accent).

while I wait...

So, Thida is on the phone at the moment...and she talks sorta loud when she gets excited ;-) I dont think she'd mind me saying that! hahaha...
She sounds happy.

soooo... while I wait, here's a picture of us before the Imogen Heap concert. Thida is so disgustingly cute, dont you think? I mean, seriously...would you ever EVER say no to that smile?!

Yup, I didnt think so...

In other news, I am waaaay glad we have no plans wisdom tooth hurts, and I am way worn out from all the fun we've had today.

I could really use a quiet time with God too...I feel like its been forever. When in reality its been about 48 hours. But, heck, that is kinda like forever when you look at it. *sigh* Sometimes the holidays have that "I'm too busy" thing connected to them that is so nasty.

Ok, I'm going to get out my ipod and turn my music up and hang out with God....

November 23, 2006

Holiday cheer...

Thanks to all the beautiful people who sent well wishes my way for my Birthday....because it was fabulous! :-)

First I have to say, shopping with Thida....always an experience. ;-) But she does know how to sniff out the bargains and so help you if you get in the way of saving a dime! hahaha!
But, by the time we were through spending a small fortune we had dinner and then had to head straight to the Imogen Heap concert...which was...woooooonderful.

We were a tad late, but came in on the opening act...which was this kid, Levi Weaver, who with the help of a loop machine was able to create quite the little one man music making machine...he's got some nice lyrics too...and while I was mildly mind was TOTALLY blown with the NEXT act: Kid Beyond...this guy started off with your "basic" beat box routine ( which for those of you who dont know, he makes sounds like drums and the like with his mouth.) and i say "basic"...because i have NEVER heard anything so fantastic...then, using a loop-box he did the cover of Wondering Stars...and it was AMAZING.

So, yes...then there was Imogen...who, I am not afraid to admit I have a TOTAL girlcrush on....she is ADORABLE...and TALENTED....and it was a total high to see her perform.

Great birthday concert...

BUT Birthday celebration was NOT over yet...because....this morning, we woke up to find that the Houston Thanksgiving Day parade went RIGHT UNDER our fact, we were stuck in Houston until it had gone by!! So Thida and I sat in a large ( rather comfy!) window seal eatting breakfast and watching a parade with the best view ever!

Yeah for a nice ending to our little birthday trip....

Now, we are home...and what I reeeeeally need is a shower so I can properly appreciate my thanksgiving foods ;-)

Thanks again for the guys are great!!!

November 20, 2006

good enough to eat...

So, I got a great birthday present from Christa at Bible Study tonight....chocolate body wash. I smell good enough to eat right now, seriously....its amazing.

And speaking of Bible Study, I cant tell you how much I love those girls! Seriously, my heart just wells up with praise that I get to hang out with them every week....hearing their prayers and their hearts is truly the most beautiful gift. To be honest I find myself wanting the best for the SO BADLY that it hurts, and then I remember that God loves them that much more...and that HE wants the best for them even more than me....whew. Its hard to fathom!

I am posting tonight because tomorrow is going to be super busy at work...some how fitting a whole weeks worth of work into two days has very bad effects..meeeh.

I am also hoping for the best because I've been in a LOT of pain today, so much so that I almost passed out in Wal Mart, and poor Thida had to miss out on a true american shopping experience because of my lame pain and dizziness. double boo.
On that note, however, my doctor has scheduled me for surgery on the 11th of be honest, I'm not entirely sure what they are going to do...but I trust it'll make me feel better? right?!
Anyway, to be honest my biggest desire right now is not necessarily worrying about something so "far off" as surgery, but instead, I would just like to have a nice pain free birthday ( ONE DAYYYYYY!) and maybe some nice pain free time with Thida so she doesnt have to spend all her time watching me lie on my couch. Yeah, that would be nice for everyone involved. ;-)

I have to interject here to say that I SERIOUSLY smell like something you should eat. Its kinda weird to be honest, but in a really yummy kinda of a way...but also distracting. hehehe.

write by numbers

you know...instead of paint by numbers. Get it? Clever, huh?

Yeah, that's what I thought too.

Anyway, last night I was discussing ( yet again, because its one of my favorite topics right now) how I really dont like the number 23. And I decided that it was because I think the number "3" is ugly. Which, Brett told me meant that I was a BAD PERSON because "three" is a very holy know the trinity...three days and then Jesus rose from the grave etc. etc.

So, later on, and by later on I mean many many hours later I was WIDE AWAKE at 3am- and I realized that I didnt care. I didnt CARE if me hating the number 3 was not very Christian of me...I HATED IT.
So there.

And if you're wondering why i was awake at 3...and then again at 4...well, I can only say that I was experiencing jetlag with a particular kiwi...I think it just shows how sensitive and loving I am that I just HAD to wake up when she was awake.
Of course, when I had to get up at 7:30 this morning, well, I cant say that I was particularly happy with THOSE numbers either.

Alternatively, just as much as I hate the number three...I totally DIG the number two.
Because :

its only TWO DAYS till my Birthday
I only have to go to work TWO DAYS this week.


November 19, 2006

Its official.

I think I've become SOOO dedicated to blogging that living in my apartment for ONE DAY, breathing the same air, doing the same things...has MADE Thida decide to start a blog.

Satisfaction abounds. ;-)

Although, to be fair, I think she was planning on starting one before she arrived....

Thida's Blog

November 18, 2006

welcome, america...

So, Thida...she's here...and totally herself, which is great! Man, she can tell a story like NO OTHER ( seriously, she made the drive home from the airport veeeeery interesting).

And I've had SUCH a jam packed day!
Ending with a surprise birthday gathering for me at Sushi Ya. Seriously, I felt so loved! I've got the greatest friends ever.

More later...
You Are 35% Left Brained, 65% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning.
Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic.
Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility.
Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way.
If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art.
Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

November 17, 2006

best laid plans and all that

So, Esther and i had a PLAN....and we were pumped. We were going to hit up Central Market and then go to the airport to pick up Thida...

However, an hour into our trip....phonecall from Thida practically PLEADING with me to let her take a later flight ( tomorrow) changed our plans and we ended up eating cajain food in Livingston ( of all places) and then going back from whence we came.

New plan:
Get up at 8:30 on Saturday morning.
Meet Esther ( she's a trooper!), Christa and Briana at Java Jacks
Try the orginial plan AGAIN.

maybe this time it'll stick...and I will ACTUALLY pick Thida up from the airport. hehehe...
Let's all hold our breath...and while I've got your attention...maybe pray that I feel better? a cold PLUS a appearance of the old pain has made me a less than happy camper.

What I am thankful for: Esther's company this evening. A cute restuarant in Livingston ( who knew?). At least we werent ALL THE WAY in Houston before Thida called.

This is it...

the day we've all been waiting for! Yet another clash of my worlds...New Zealand merges with Texas...ahhhh, its going to be glorious!
If you're not sure what I'm talking about- Thida is arriving this evening! Yay! I am excited. But, its also still kinda hard to believe she's yeah.

I havent yet heard back from my roadtrip I'm not sure if I'm heading to Houston alone or not...but whatever happens it'll be good...because I'm picking up THIDA...YYAAAAAYYYY!!!

I've got a cold, but, my voice sounded remotely sexy ( aka. stopped up nose and throat)this I guess it is ALMOST worth it.

I'm off to have lunch with Papa and Anna now...

November 16, 2006

fingers point to me.

So, I worked for hours and hours on end...with my boss standing over me pretty much the whole time.
My lunch break was nice ( a thanksgiving dinner at the Newspaper) but I had to be friendly and make small talk nonetheless.
I got a sore throat half way through the when I finally left work ( with an hour before I had to be BACK at work) I just went home to drink Airbourne Cocktails and take medicine. No fun.
I then went BACK to work, where I stood on my feet ( not on my hands, smarty pants) for an hour and a half, smiling and repeating the same thing over and over again to prospective scholarship recipients.
I then came home to people being short with me via email...

I also reeeeally wanted to clean the bathroom and vacumn the floors of my house tonight ( and NO I'm not just saying that so that one day you'll think I'll make some nice does-talk-back-house-wife. hahaha). I seriously, think my floors are dirty and my sink needs cleaning...and Thida comes TOMORROW! ( yay! I am seriously excited...though also annoyed that I still havent done everything on my list)
But, to be honest, every SINGLE bone in my body aches....and my throat hurts. And I am SUPER grumpy.

So, when the question is asked who the big whiny pants is?!

All fingers point to me.

tired but ...

So, I've worked SOOOO HARD today! Honestly, accounting makes my head hurt like nothing else on the planet. Numbers...meeeh.

Anyway, in other news, I was digging around in my purse ( and if you know me at all, you know how big my purses usually are) and I found my ring!!! FABULOUS!!! Its extremly loose on my finger, so I may take Brett's suggestion and tape the sucker on my finger with masking tape. yeah. That'll be really attractive.

Which brings me to the thought...can you LOOSE WEIGHT in your fingers?!
I think it must be the weather..but still, its AWFULLY loose.

So, I'm working until 7:30 tonight...and I'm already exausted here at 4pm. Boo...maybe a little Java Jacks would make me feel better? What do you think?! Absolutely.

I'm so run down at the moment, pain, stress, work, plans...I feel bad, I've neglected a few choice people who dont deserve to be neglected.
Have patience, I'm sure I'll get myself sorted at some point.

Oh, and Brett isnt coming home for Thanksgiving. Boo. I suppose my plan of "not getting my hopes up about anything" has SORTA worked...because I didnt cry. I'm such a big girl. ;-)

November 15, 2006


So, remember last year when I lost the little ring that my grandmother gave me? And remember how my sweet sister gave me a replacement? Remember how happy I was?


Well, strangely, tonight I was doing my quiet time...and all of a sudden I looked down at my hand and it was gone...

I dont feel like crying so much this time, more just resigned...

I cant explain it, but it was just a comfort to have that ring there. *sigh*
Maybe I get to attached to things...maybe I get to attached to symbols and signs.
Its gone now

Ok, so one last good bye from better times...


events of the day...

the power went off at work due to the insane was barely 11:45.

I visited the parents of the man that just got the Distinguished Alumnus award-took by his award since he couldnt make it to the ceremony.

They were totally cute. Talked to them for two hours...soap operas, children, accents, cats....talkative, veeeeery talkative.
But, its why I love my job...

I've been in a lot of pain this week, but today has been the worst-bad enough to mention it on my blog. I've so very much loved not talking about it...but here it is....back.

But, if there was ever a day to spend in bed. Today.

Carry over from this morning...

That you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height-to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Eph 3:17-10

I often wonder at how verses that you've heard hundreds...maybe thousands of times can take on new meaning in an instant.

days that fly...

So, this morning, I cried while reading the paper....I've gotten in the habit of reading the obituaries, because unfortunately, NHS Alumni die on a daily basis...but, normally I dont cry...
there is a typical pattern of writing obits...they usually start with sometime like, "Funeral services for Mr. John Brown, 78 will be help at 2 pm on thursday Nov. 2...."

But sometimes they are different...and today I read this:

The family and friends of Terri Lynn Byrd announce and celebrate her entrance into the Kingdom of Heaven on Monday, November 13, 2006. Having sojourned on earth for 45 years, Herri now resides in the presence of her Lord and Svior, Jesus Christ....

I am almost tempted to type out the whole thing...because its just that beautiful. But, I wont..because for one thing its brought tears to my eyes yet again....but there is a quote from Terri further down talking about her fight with cancer:

I simply realized that my days, like everyone's were already numbered. I'm making the most of them; and ultimately, I am healed because I have Eternal Life.

That, is beautifully said...and how true is this? Our days are numbered...we do live here only temporarily and to live for the Glory of God and the desire to see others find Life is truly all there is...

Yesterday afternoon I had a little chat with Carmi over the internet-we were discussing the Fight. It seems that casualties and set backs are surrounding us on every side, and I dont think Carmi will mind me saying this...but sometimes it gets a bit overwhelming to think of all those who need our prayers...all those who we don't see any push forward, any change...if anything they are falling farther away from the truth. How can this be? How can such things be said about our Lord and Savior?! It's a slap in the face....

Today I was reminded of His gift to us...its not just eternal life, its not just forgiveness of sin...its LOVE...its having the peace of knowing His love. Sometimes our faith faulters, sometimes the love is harder to grasp but its ALWAYS there.
Reading about the Life of this women today, knowing that her friends and family really were rejoicing in sorrow. It was beautiful and it was testimony of Truth. That kind of peace cannot be created from anything other than true Faith.

So, it is for that faith...that love....that hope....that peace that I pray for all those who are struggling today. He would leave the 99 and go after the I will pray for all the ones in my life. Because, as much as I love them...He loves them all the more.

November 14, 2006


First off, I some how MISSED David and Brendan's birthday on Sunday...I hate missing people's birthdays :-(
So, sorry, boys....I have a special place in my heart for both of you, your generous hearts and desire for Truth have continually opened my eyes to different ways of seeing this life, I'm SO GLAD you are my friends! I hope you had a goooooooood birthday.

Second of all, yesterday, someone made a comment to me that implied that I do not like my job. Now, this person was pretty repentent about implying such a thing ( probably because I was all indignent) -but it got me thinking....does it SEEM like I dont like my job because I will often discuss how it stresses me out?

Because, strangely enough, just because I'm stressed and just because I feel like I'm out of my league a lot of the time ( I'll tell you when we can talk about my website...) this does not mean that I dont like my job.
Weird but true.

But, I figure that since this was brought up, and sometimes even *i* need to be reminded... I've decided to list the things I really LIKE about my job:

1. I like going to work at 9am every single day....there is nothing like a schedule that's always the same to make me a little bit happier. Come to think of it, leaving at THREE is pretty cool too. ;-)
2. I really enjoy getting "history lessons" from alumni that call up in a nostalgic frame of mind.
3. I like writing about people in the Daily Sentinel which can really make someones day.
4. Come to think of it, I really DO have the opportunity to make people's day just about every day-by just listening and paying attention.
5. I am blogging right now. Do I need to say more?
6. I have learned ( AM LEARNING) how to do some accounting...and web design....this is totally out of my comfort zone. But that's good...
7. A lot of my job is correspondence, newsletters, news articles, and all sorts of other written words. And yes, the written word is one of four things that I am truly confident in my abilities.
9. Sometimes its nice having a HUGE office all to myself...sometimes.
10. I can listen to any music I want.

November 13, 2006


So, I found them ( the list of things I want to do before I die, that I talked about in my previous post)....And its SO WEIRD to go back and read these kinda things again....

I am kinda amazed how somethings have changed about my perception of life...and some things havent. I will let YOU try to figure out which are which. ;-)


I gotta say, I just got Blogger Beta ( because I can't say no)...and its official, I dont particularly like change.
Oh well, I think the tags at the bottom will be cool...other than that, my thoughts are "eh"

Soooo, hey, its Monday! And this is my laaaaast week of being totally alone without any friends visiting for MONTHS on end ( I have a few days here in there between visitors but its hardly worth mentioning). It kind of hit me last night, so I, maybe I should, you know, DO SOMETHING that I wont get to do while I've got visitors....

I watched Grey's Anatomy in bed. And yes, it could be argued that I could definitely watch Greys with a visitor but...ummmm...yeah. I couldnt think of anything particularly that I needed to get out of my system. So I just went about my normal life. ;-)

In other news, this week is going to be crazy busy at work. College Night on Thursday night...various other necessities...such as I absolutely MUST get my work website up and going...or I'm pretty sure I'll be fired ( that's what I'm telling myself anyway).

Incidently, did you notice that we are into the official COUNT DOWN towards my birthday?! Its kinda weird, because I have so many really good things happening around my birthday that its sorta been overshadowed this No biggie. I think it just proves how OLD I am getting! And speaking of, I had one of those typical "its-really-late-and-I-cant-sleep-so-I-will-freak-out-about-something-for-no-reason" moments this weekend. I mean, come ON!!! TWENTY-THREE!!!!
I've graduated from university...TWO YEARS AGO!!!! That's just SHOCKING. I've practically been out in the real world almost as long as I was in New Zealand... ( not quite...but over half). Shoudnt something really really exciting happen really really soon?!
Shouldnt I start checking things off of my Life ToDo list?!
I cant learn to surf...or go sky diving...or visit the pyramids any time I guess I'll have to be patient. But, I just feel like I should have done MORE in those 23 years. ( which by the way...does anyone remember me posting a list of the things I wanted to do before I die?! Because I'd like to find that...just to see how I'm doing...does anyone remember the context that I wrote that on my blog-because I dont remember when it was...)

I'm also a little bit...ummm....shocked ( not really) at how YOUNG I still feel most of the time. I mean, I freak out about things like my haircut more than I do about....taxes. But then again, if that's the gague of "maturity" than its highly possible that I will never really grow up.

So, the thing I seem to consistently learn with each passing that every age gets YOUNGER. That I, in truth, will always care more about shoes...than I do about....ummm....something else. And that ultimately, ( unless I have one of those loosing battles against hormones that inevitibly happen) I am pretty darn happy about where things are here at the dawn of twenty three.

So super.

I'm going to do work now.

November 11, 2006


I've lost the remote to my DVD player....its driving me crazy. I've looked everywhere! My apartment is too big!

I caught a cold last night when I left my windows open...and the crazy Texas weather dropped like twenty degrees in one night.

I figure its a good sign when you can talk to someone about something as mundane as vacumn cleaners...and you think, wow, I love talking to them!

God answered prayers today...

Gilmore Girls Season Two equals classic Gilmore goodness....back when they were clever, things were simple and Rory was still in high school and was still innocent.

November 10, 2006

the 60s

So, I was getting my hair "trimmed" and it seemed to be going well...and then my cell phone rang...and swear, I was only on the phone for a few seconds and when I got off my hair looked like I'd just stepped out of the late 60s...maybe early seventies ( since anna said I looked like the girl from "That 70s Show") ....anyway, I want your honest hair is still kinda wet in the picture, but do you think I should start wearing bellbottoms?!


I mean, COME ON...are these FEATHERED!?!


I'm not particularly happy about my hair...I dont feel pretty at ALL. :-(
I'm sure I'll get over it.

On the bright side: I just bought Seasons 1 & 2 of the Gilmore Girls for $14.95 a piece...TWO BOX SETS for less than 30 dollars!!!! AND it was the two seasons I was missing...woo WOOOOOOOOOOO!

Vets day

I find it sad that the High School doesnt celebrate Veterans Day...which is tomorrow?

I mean, I feel like we really SHOULD.

But, at the same time, I'm getting waaaay excited about Thanksgiving Holidays...annnnnnd guess what happens in ONE WEEK!?! !


But, I've still got tons to do before she arrives...all these things that I thought, "you should so do that before Thida arrives-but that's for a long time now."

TIME FLIES!! First things, first, getting my hair trimmed (today! I called for an appointment and they put me on for TODAY!) so I can look hot for Thida...because, you know, that's a priority. And then I've got to clean out one of my many many closets so she can have her very own space...and maybe some bathroom countertop space too ( I'm such a good friend)....and I've got to get her a BED to sleep on!
:-) OH! And a key to my apartment...that's important. Is it too early in our relationship for her to get a key to my place?! nooooo....we've been friends for 4 years-I think that's taking it pretty slow.
Alright, I best get back to work, my todo list is insane today...

November 09, 2006

what to do...

So, we ALL know how much I LOATHE walmart...but necessity took me there today....and while i waited for an unhumanly long time for my perscription to be filled....I bought a watch ( that I didnt need, by the way) for $4.95.

But for that cheap....I feel like it was worth it. Now, the cupcake that I also bought for no good reason....wellll....its debateable whether or not I really needed the cupcake.


that's what friends are for.

I have this friend who is a Gift from God. She does this thing...and its what I named today "the smackdown peptalk"

Which basically means, I tell her the situation that I'm struggling with and she gives me the Smackdown sandwiches which when broken down into its parts equals,
"I love you...SMACK DOWN....I love you..."

Which is fantastic. Because, you're in this safe "I know they still love me" enviroment while they tell you the absolute truth, which is "you need to take this to God and SORT YOURSELF OUT."

So off I go to sort myself out...

breaking news:

Abigail has had a major freakout about her work website. She is quoted to have thought to herself, "I have NO IDEA what I'm doing. Someone shoot me." But, then went to major escapism mode checking her email about fourteen times in a row ( by hitting refresh). She then realized that no, she wasnt going to get any emails to distract her and so she was once again stuck with that sinking feeling of not knowing what she was doing, and not yet being able to calmdown enough to read a trillion billion help manuals. She felt sure that it was the paying of the $119.40 that really threw her over the edge, realizing that no, infact, she could not back out of this now.
In a striking turn of events she got a distracting cellphone call that kept her from throwing up, and gave her a slightly more positive disposition that she hopes will last longer than it takes for her to write this sentence.

If there was ever EVER a time for prayer to be involved in work-this would be a good example of it.

I'd say that 90% of the time I am totally selfish. This week I heard one of THE most simple statements ever,
"Instead of praying that God will make everyone else into a better person, start praying that God will help you to love them more."

Anyway, it seems that ever since I heard that I've been in some little spirl where I'm TOTALLY self absorbed and then its like I get hit in the head and I realize just how ME focused I really am... "Who knows what great battle they might be facing." My father said that to me years ago and I am continually reminded of its Truth.

In conclusion, I'm learning more and more ( and MORE) what a work in progress I am, how fallen and deepdownugly I really really am...BUT, at the same time its a GLORIOUSLY wonderful thing that THIS is true:

...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.~Phil 1:6

THAT is what I'm thankful for today!

November 07, 2006


So, I'm constantly going through phases...where my favorite things change around...isnt it everysolucky that I have a blog so that we can keep track of my favorite things?!

Back up the story, let me explain...not to long ago, I had the task of putting together 500 newsletters at my job...mindNUMBING work let me tell you, so to pass the time I looked up sermons online...and listened to them on my computer while I worked.

Well....the newsletter is now probably in peoples recycle bins ( I'm allll about recycling now), but I kind of enjoyed listening to sermons that I started wanting to do it at home....ANNNNND it just so happened to be cooler outside, which made me want to knit....sooooo....sitting and knitting...and listening to sermons....coooooool times at the Abigail Home.

And incidently, when I went on my hunt for sermons online, I wanted to make sure I got "quality" since I really didnt have the time to shopping around-so I went by the word of my good friend Paul and visited Matt Chandler ....who Paul has come to quote so very much that he just calls him "my good friend Matt" now....and I gotta say I'm hooked too ( even though his voice takes a bit getting use to! hehe)

So, now you know....I just started the series on I should be rocking out knitted sweaters before you know it ;-)

You know...

How much I love Amy Carmichael's poetry ( almost as much as I love her biography if you havent read it, I highly recommend you do...)

And while I am somehow, totally without orginal thought today, I do think this poem is beautiful...a friend recently asked on their blog what true genuine community is...and this poem sums it up rather well...lately I've been thinking on human relationships-how it is by the very Grace of God that I have the beautiful friends that I do...I am also realizing more and more the IMPORTANCE of doing things together...praying together, praising together, fellowshiping together...and as cheesy as I always thought it was: "Doing Life together."

Yea, we adore, O Father, we adore Thee;
Hast Thou not guided, O Thou gentle Guide?
Make pure our praises as we wait before Thee,
Whose love embraces us on every side.

Gifts hast Thou given of sister and of brother;
O royal Giver, blessed be Thy choice.
Thee, Thee, O Master, see we in each other,
Hear in each tone Thy well-beloved voice.

Therefore we come with worship and with wonder;
Surely the Lord is in this quiet place.
Bind us with cords that life nor death can sunder;
Draw us together as we seek Thy face.

Write Thou the lines o our unfinished story;
Make us, Thy ministers, a flaming fire;
Let fless be nough -to Thee alone be glory;
Grant unto us to meet Thy heart's desire.

November 06, 2006

with extra strength protection for the working girl...

So, by midmorning I was in a serious funk. And while I could definitely identify things that were bothering me, or burdening me or whatever the case was...I just felt hopeless and weak...and I wasnt getting any work finally I just STOPPED EVERYTHING and decided to pray...And it HELPED HEAPS.

Sometimes, just praying WHILE you're doing things just isnt enough, I had to actually stop everything...

Anyway, my point is that I find that a perfect example of God. I mean, my situation didnt change, I was still me...I was still here....but it was as if all of a sudden it was "ok". Or at least I could handle life better

So, my day has definitely turned around and even though its still all rainy outside, I've decided to make the most of the soggy weather and go to Java Jacks for a Chai Latte while I plan my Bible Study for tonight. :-)
Sounds good!

And God is the only answer...and this is a commerical advertising His Grace and Mercy for helping in all kinds of Funks.

Holy Monday morning, Batman!

If there was every a day where it would have been REALLY REALLY great to just...keep on sleeping, today would be it.
Its all rainy and dark outside, and in general I'm in a "sleep all day" frame of mind.

I wonder if its just me who generally feels like I dont know what I'm doing most of the time? I will say something, do something and then immediately afterwards I am praying that I havent TOTALLY messed things up! I wish my confidence would go farther than just saying what's on my mind...but continue on to the point of being OK with whatever the results of that will be...
Unfortunately, this is not the case...

Yet, this is what I find, the more I care about it, the more I have to pray for the grace of God to cover it...because the likelihood of me messing things up are high...luckily, I can rest in the fact that I've been this crazy thus far in my life, and God has somehow kept things relatively intact...He will continue to Help.

Thanks to all my lovely friends who extend grace to me every single day...I dont deserve it.

November 04, 2006


The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.~ Matt 7:25

The word foundation came to me during my quiet time tonight...I was thinking how EASILY I get shaken up... I can seem so very...ummm...."together" ...or at least to those who dont read my blog and know the shocking truth that I'm a crazy loon...but that's besides the point.

Not only do I put on a show of "togetherness" to others, I do a pretty good job of convincing myself that its true. But, then it'll happen...




They rock the boat, they shake the house and ultimately they bring me to the point of taking a hard look at my foundation.

I think, ultimately, my Foundation is pretty strong as a WHOLE...but I find that it's the individual parts of my life that they start to slip a little bit.
I feel that I almost need to make sure I have a foundation for every individual aspect of my life...
For its not enough to just put the big "Christian Umbrella" over my life and hope that it keeps out the rain, wind and floods...nooooo...its all in the FOUNDATION.

So, I find myself here at the very beginning of something and I've got to think, it doesnt MATTER about tomorrow and what might be built here, because if I dont get this sorted out...if the foundation is not build on the Right Ground...well, then...I'm going to find myself easily shaken time and time again.

And that is no way to live.

I do NOT choose a life like that...a life easily swayed by circumstance, emotions, other peoples actions...the list goes on and on...
I wrote, "...that my life would be an offering of offering of faith..."

That can never be, if I am constantly being swayed this way and, not unless I truly decide to build everything upon Rock..

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.~Ps 40:2

Prince Caspian Quotes Part 2.

"He led them to the right of the dancing trees-whether they were still dancing nobody knew, for Lucy had her eyes on the Lion and there rest had their eyes on Lucy..."

( Susan to Lucy) "But I've been far worse than you know. I really believed it was him-he, I mean-yesterday. When he warned us not to go down to the fir wood. And I really believed it was him tonight, when you woke us up. I mean, deep down inside. Or I could have, if I'd let myself. But I just wanted to get out of the woods and-and-oh. I dont know. And what ever am I to say to him?"
"Perhaps you won't need to say much," suggested Lucy.


"We dont know when ( Aslan) will act. In his time, no douct, not ours. In the meantime he would like us to do what we can on our own. "


"You shall be one of the Marshals, ( Bear). But you must remember not to suck your paws."
"Of course not, " said the Bear in a very shocked voice.
"Hey, you're doing it this minute!" bellowed Trumpkin.
The Bear whipped his aw out of his mouth and pretended he hadnt heard.

"...a little old woman who looked as if she had Dwarf blood in her. She was at death's door, but when she opened her eyes and saw the bright, hairy head of the lion staring into her face, she did not scream or faint. She said,
"Oh Aslan! I knew it was true. I've been waiting for this all my life. Have you come to take me away?"

"Sir,: said the Mouse, "I can eat and sleep and dire for my King without ( a tail). But a tail is the honor and glory of a Mouse."
"I have sometimes wondered, friend," said Aslan, "whether you do not think too much about your honor."


"The best thing of all about this feast was that there was no breaking up or going away, but as the talk grew quieter and slower, one after another would begin to nod and finally drop off to sleep with feet toward the fire and good friends on either side, till at last there was silence all around...But all night Aslan and the Moon gazed upon each other with joyful and unblinking eyes."

"Yet nobody's eyes were on the ( jewels, gold, and silk) on the animals or the children. The living and strokable gold of Aslan's mane out shone them all."


November 03, 2006

Prince Caspian Quotes Part 1.

So, as I continue to read through the Chronicles of they are, wonderful quotes from Prince Caspian

"Oh, I'm a dangerous criminal, I am," said the Dwarf cheerfully, "But that's a long story. Meantime, I was wondering if perhaps you were going to ask me to breakfast? You've no idea what an appetite it gives one, being executed."

"You may ask why I'm ( telling you about Old Narnia) at all. But, I have two reasons. Firstly, because my old heart has carried these secret memories so long that it aches with them and would burst if I did not whisper them to you..."

( Upon hearing that the enemy armies are coming) "Hurrah!" said a very shrill and small voice from somewhere at the Doctor's feet. "Let them come! All I ask is that the King will put me and my people in the front."

Caspian saw strange characters and snaky patterns, and pictures ( on the walls) in which the form of a Lion was repeated again and again. It all seemed to belong to an even older Narnia than the Narnia of which his nurse had told him.

"Wouldnt it be dreadful if some day in our own world, at home, men started going wild inside, like the animals here, and still looked like men, so that you'd never know which were which?"

'Aslan' said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"That's because you are older, little one," he answered.
"Not because you are?"
" I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."

"Oh Aslan," said Lucy. "You dont mean it was ( my fault)? How could I-I couldn't have left the others and come up to you alone, how could I? Don't look at me like that...oh well, I suppose I could. Yes, and it wouldnt have been alone, I know, not if I was with you...."

"Now, child" said Aslan. "I will wait here. Go and wake the others and tell them to follow. If they will not, then you at least must follow me alone."


"And so at last they got on the move. Lucy went first, biting her lip and trying not to say all the things she thought of saying to Susan. But she forgot them when she fixed her eyes on Aslan."



So, I just watched An Affair to Remember, the old Cary Grant movie...its pretty famous, after all its mentioned in Sleepless in it HAD to be GOOD, right?!

Turned out to be dreadfully boring. And by the way, I think calling someone "Darling" only moments after you meet them is...trite. And two scenes with the children singing?! Really? Did we need that??

I'm disappointed.

This was really fun...

Things I've done (in bold):

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins ( woo!)
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris ( and, yes, the airport was very badly orginized..hehe)
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game ( What does this mean? I've been to major league baseball games...and an All Blacks Rugby match..does this count?)
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa ( so we decided NOT to walk to the top..but that's because I'd already done that whole climb to the top of the St. Peters..and that was good enough for me)
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day ( ask me to do it for you sometime...its pretty funny)
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk.
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe.
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication ( hahaha! blogger is a large, right? what about the Daily Sentinel? nooo? reeeeally?)
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane ( ok, ok, so I was the co-pilot...but I flew solo for a few was scary nonetheless)
109. Touched a stingray
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet 121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey (rock on! I'm an english major)
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life ( I had almost forgotten about this...but being a lifeguard was actually cool..)

So...I'm totally inspired to do more on this list!


I hate these friday's where i have football games to go to. BOOO! It steals all the goodness out of the fact that its a friday. But, I shouldnt complain.

I just ordered sushi for lunch...when I asked the lady on the phone how long its going to be she said "five minute."


Yeah, nothing has EVER taken five minute(sic) at Sushi Ya...and since she didnt know to put the "s" at the end of minutes I'm going to assume it'll be longer than that.

I've been craving Sushi for WEEKS. This is going to make my day better.

I've got a sore throat. But, I am refusing to get sick..afterall, I DID get a flu shot yesterday. That has to be worth something in sick currency, right?

Its been a weird week, dont you think? I feel like there's stuff going on under the surface of "life"...and I just cant get my hands around it. Maybe I'm over thinking...but the comments I've gotten about several blog posts have made me think I'm not the only one.

November 02, 2006

A sordid tale: how I found the song...

Ah....the internet, such an untamed beast! ( and while I'm joking around at the really is evil sometimes...and that's scary.)

But, anyway, do you remember not a post down, that I was complaining that I had a song, nah, a LINE from a song in my head and I didnt know what it was?!

Well, I spend a goodly amount of time sorting through my itunes yesterday..with no luck. But, then tonight, I thought long and hard about where I could of heard if, if not in my own music collection...and then I remembered: I listen to Pandora Internet Radio at work....I have been listening to my "Reminds me of Jeremy Camp" station for....ages....and it goes through about 30 songs...over and over....every now and again adding random new songs ( Beau Brice?! the guy from american idol?! reeeeeallly?! hahaha!)
SO, with that in mind...I started doing MEGA google searches ( do you remember what life was LIKE without google searching ability?! Honestly, I cant remember...and it must have been a life of lots of sleepless nights)
But...and finally I found it:

Today ( As for Me and My House)
Today, I choose to follow you.
Today, I choose to give my "yes" to you.
Today, I choose to hear your voice and live.
Today, I choose to follow you.

As for me and my house, we will serve you.
As for me and my house, we will spend our lives on you

Wonderful, Counselor, Everlasting Father
Eternal King, Lord of Host willingly we follow.

Today, I choose to follow you...
~ Brian Doerkson

WHEW! And that answers the song came into my head yesterday....really it was the theme of my week in a lot of respects. The idea that every SINGLE day my desire is to choose Him...the alternative is dark. the alternative is depressing... and to be honest, the alternative is death.

So, its a simple song, but it IS my anthem tonight. And while "my family" pretty much consists of decision is still really really important.

So choose.


So, there is this song that has lyrics that pretty much quote the verse "as for me and my house.."
And I could hear the lines being sung in my head for MOST of last night..and I spent a heck of a long time on itunes trying to track it down. And umm...yeah...havent found it yet.

In other news, its down right COOL outside! I mean, for serious, I could barely get out of bed this morning..which was bad, since I had told myself that i was going to get up earlier so I could hit my doctor's office before I went to work to get my flu shot...but...ummm....yeah, turns out the extra 30 minutes of sleep overpowered my judgment and i literally had this thought:
But, you didnt get the flu last year ( because I got the flu shot, stupid!) so what makes me think I'm going to get it this year, lots of people dont get the flu?! You are over reacting!

I think the upshot of this is that I will go by my doctors office once I get off work...which means I'll have to wait a heck of a long time, because according to Aaron ( who works there) Thursdays are their busiest day...but its my own stupid fault and no matter WHAT my sleepy brain tells me in the morning I think it'll be worth it.

November 01, 2006

what a difference ( almost) a year makes...

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

I ran across a little essay that I wrote back in February of this the time I was struggling with a person that had been thrown into my mostly "together" little life....I was horribly frustrated with myself, I felt SURE that I was heading down a familiar road. A road where I was silly and didnt follow the Lord's will for my life....where I liked someone I shouldnt like and then it would end up bothing me to the point of obsession...or annoyance however you want to look at it. I did NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN AGAIN. All I wanted was peace of mind...
And amazingly enough, I was given it...

The person was Brett...(wow. February? Really? Its been going on that long?)
And it turned out that those prayers that I fervently prayed back in February were answered in a way that was quite shocking...and unexpectedly good. haha. Not only did I get peace...but Brett didnt go away...
Of course it took a loooong time. But, I obviously NEEDED a long time. And I can't really speak for Brett, because, he probably hadn't even thought of me all at that point...but, God is good...and His lessons are continuous and scary...and really, tonight, I was reminded what I have learned...and then I was reminded of all that I still dont understand, that I still dont get...that I still need help with...because, I'm not JUST talking about relationships here-its just the example that brought it up...
It reminded me

... how little we know, how much we are at the mercy of my King... All we can really do, is get down on our knees every night and ask for Help....

My only desire is to Serve the King of Kings all the days of my life

He is merciful to Help..

" The Lord of wonderful in counsel and excellent in guidance." ~Is. 28:29

Look what day it is!!!!

YAY! Its finally here: The very best month in the WHOLE YEAR! November. SoooOOOoooOOo exciting.
Now for all of those who are mathmatically challenged ( like myself) can EASILY count down the days until my birthday without doing any hardcore math equations in their head. Whew! So glad it finally come to this!

The weather is much cooler today, which is nice...though its not like I get to spend much time out in the elements. Although, my office is ALWAYS cold. So, there's that.

I really thought I had more to talk about then the weather! I dont know what happened. meh. Alright, so a quick current events update (aka. things I have been remiss in mentioning on my blog:

~ The Prestige is really a fantastic movie, the best I've seen in a looong time. I toally recommend seeing it if you have the chance. Christopher Nolan is really something...I love his movies.

~I, for one, cannot WAIT until the elections are over in this democratic nation we so happily live in ( or some of us). I absolutely despise politics. I hate CNN and I hate FOX News...I hate all those political ads that come on the radio (Luckily I dont watch TV or I'd probably be even more annoyed)...and I hate that many Christians mistake "Christian" with Conservative and just ASSUME that you are going to go out in vote republican in the coming election...and come up to you at church or in the store or...worse then THAT...they EMAIL YOU...talking about how you should vote for so-in-so because they will change the world...
So, I'm going to pull a "Papa" and not vote at all...and for all my little conservative friends, you should be happy I'm not...because I'd more than likely NOT vote Republican.
So there. And me saying all this...hopefully it will not solicite further conversation, because, in fact, I do not mind if you do not agree with me...I am GLAD that there are people who have not lost faith in the whole political system of this can keep it running while I live for social causes ;-)

~I've officially ruined the Vanilla Latte for myself...I've had one too many and must now return to the tried and true "plain" Latte. I know, its tough...and believe me its even tougher on the good people at Java Jacks, because I dont think they even LISTEN to my order anymore, they are so use to making me a 12 oz. Vanilla Latte..well, THINGS CHANGE...get USE TO IT!

~Many of my darling friend in NZ are slowly but surely finishing up their exams...which is strange for me, because it has officially been TWO YEARS since i sat exams. TWO!!!
Isnt that shocking?! I dont think I even have the ability to take a test of any sort anymore...and its also strange because I've forgotten what its like to have definite in, one second you're studying HARDOUT and the are FREEEEE as a bird. Life is now a constant stream of little things do change!

~I am starting to get super excited about Thida's impending visit! Esther and Briana are planning ( or at least I think they are!) on coming with me to the airport so that the "constant party" can begin IMMEDIATELY upon her arrival. Since her plane is not arriving until 8pm...I am thinking about hitting up Central Market beforehand...although, I have never driven there myself and therefore do not know how to get there...anyone have simple Abigail-proof instructions?! Otherwise it'll be mapquest...and we ALLLL know what a bad idea that can be!