December 30, 2005

Yesterday and yesteryear

Yesterday was my day off, and besides I had to leave the twenty-odd posts that I wrote the previous day up for a while so you'd actually read and comment...which you didnt...but that's ok :-)

But, its a new day...and I've got things to discuss...first of all, I went and saw King Kong...and while I wouldnt necessarily see this movie again, at least for a good while. It WAS beautifully done. And it still remains that Peter Jackson is a genius. My personal suprise favorite character was the captain who was played by Thomas Kretschmann...who interestingly enough played the sympathetic Captain in the Pianist that effectively saved Adrien Brody's characters life. huh. ( I just found that out thanks to my handy dandy friend Anyway, I felt like ALL the characters were perfectly cast and they all seemed to say so much with just their eyes which added a great deal of depth to the movie for me.

Yesterday also held another first for me: I locked my keys in my car. Yes, it was pretty awful, but it wasnt THAT bad. I was having lunch with a friend anyway so I just called the locksmith and they came before our food arrived. So, while they charged me an arm and a least it wasnt TOO horrible of an event. And hopefully that will be the end of my bad luck ;-)

To make myself have a better day, I bought myself the fifth season of Friends on DVD. It was worth buying it at hastings rather than by it online and wait for a million years to get it-just to save a few dollars. Time is money and all that jazz...

December 28, 2005

Promised Pictures...

So, I feel like these pictures, while definitely not the most embarrassing of the night, do express the evening for what it was...
overheadThe Overview

The Abt girls at work...

So, my sister made up a "Year End Survey" for me to complete and put on my blog...
So, of course, I will compete it ;-)
Feel free to copy and paste this on to YOUR blog (or just email me)...and let me know so I can check out your responses!

20 Questions about the Year 2005
1) Where were you when 2005 began? Ummm...would you believe me if I said I dont remember? It was a pretty lame New Years.

2) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
April 19th...the whole day qualifies as the WORST.

3) What was your favorite moment of the year?
Running to meet Lydia and Emma at the airport in Rome, Italy.

4) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were
I had lunch with Amy, dinner with family and I turned 22

5) Did you fall in love in 2005?

6) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?
"technically" no...but I did break up with two people without going out with them ( yes, I have talent, I will be single forever!!)

7) Did you make any new friends in 2005?
Yes, even though I've known several all my life, but I had the previledge to get to know them better which was pretty cool.

9) What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your
memory, and why?
April 19th...and I actually REMEMBER thinking at the time, "there is NO WAY I will ever have a worse day. This is awful."

9) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?
Yes, I went to Italy with two of my bestest was fabulous!

10) What was the best book you read?
Hmmm...hard to say! I read a bunch of great books, but in the last month or so, "Captivating" really spoke to I'll say that one!

11) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
hehehe...I spent a good portion of the year missing people. :-)

12) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005? oooooo...soooo hard! how about the top four?
Cinderella Man, Walk the Line, Pride and Prejudice, Lion the Witch and the Waredrobe

13) What was your favorite song from 2005?
There is NO WAY...I could decide just one!I probably had a new favorite song every month...which is a good idea! Maybe I'll do "the year in song" post before the years out! remind me to do it!

14) Who were you most thankful for in 2005?
My faithful friends...who just seem to STICK no matter what.

15) What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done
Paid an electric bill, gas bill, and telephone bill...and RENT!

16) What was your proudest moment of 2005?
huh. i dont know...I guess when I got a dollar raise? That meant I was doing a good job...

17) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
there have been so many! I think probably the "getting caught in the roadrage" moment...which was also a great story...dont they ALL turn into good stories?!

18) What valuable life lesson did you learned in 2005?
I feel like I was "tested" a great deal this year, and I really feel like I am stronger, so I guess I've learned that even the WORST of events can have some positive effect.

19) What are your plans for 2006?
One of the lessons I had to learn in 2005 was to give up my OWN plans and let God guide my life and be more trusting in that...soooo....2006 is a total blank! Ask me what I am doing, THAT I think I can tell you ;-)

20) Where will you be when 2005 ends?
That is still a bit up in the air, but...I have a feeling it could be just as "memorable" as 2004 was ;-)

ok, it's your turn now!

oooooh myyyyyy

There are no words to discribe words.

Herbert Midgley Writes!

without looking at the clock...

...I ALWAYS seem to crave a Coke at exactly 11am..

I have no idea why.

The problem with this is that the coke guy comes and restocks the vending machines at 11....two times I walked up as he was restocking and he just gave me a free was nice, but then I started to feel bad...I mean, I am NOT going at 11 just to get the free coke, but it MAY look that I started waiting...and going later when I knew he would be gone...and you would THINK I would then start to get my craving later, at say my body would adjust to this new pattern. No, I still want my coke right now.
Oh, and after re-reading this, it gives the impression that I have a coke every day...I dont, but when i DO...I crave it at exactly 11am...which makes it all the stranger.

Yes, I know, my life is truly rivating.

So, there is a Doctor who wears SOOO much cologne that when we recieve films that he's touched...they SMELL like him. Amazing.

I read a bunch of blogs today-I dont recommend any of them. Sort of trashy :-( Made me feel gross, actually. That's the problem, you dont necessarily know right away-their first post can be super entertaining and funny and you think, "Yay! A winner!" and then...boooooooo!

For instance, if someone comes across my blog and this is the post they see first...they will move on quickly, because WHO wants to read about someones strange built in coke-clock!?

The moral of the story: Be careful when browsing blogs...and never judge a blog by its first post.

December 27, 2005

The girls....

So, last night was the long-awaited meeting of the girls...The DBM re-united for our annual holiday cheer. This year was extra special because Nancy Cotton ( not her real last name) graced us with her presence...thus making us almost totally complete ( minus Asa whom...I really very much doubt I'll ever see again...) as you can imagine ( or you should anyway) we were goofy and crazy and just as loud as we ever were in high school...ahhhhhh!
I am definitely planning to post some pictures from the night because otherwise you wouldnt believe our sillines..but, then, on second thought..some silliness is better left to the imagination. ;-)

It was so delightful to laugh with these girls-and I really must say, while our lives have taken some interesting twists and turns; taking us from Finland to Austria to New Zealand and other stops in between...we can still bring it all back to this little town in Texas where we all spent a splendid amount of time together back in 2002.

December 26, 2005

must have a sense of humor some of the events of today made me thing that I really really need to write my memoirs soon because, THE most embarrassing/funny things happen to me that its almost as if God is up there just TRYING to give me material.

Today, I seriously had a good ol' akward moment ( i think it goes in my top 50 at least) but I felt like I handled it rather well, and with a good bit of humor and grace ( if I do say so myself)...but then I came home and laughed with my sister about if for a long while....
I bet you want to know what it was ;-)

Spent a good portion of the day lying in bed reading Premiere Magazine, and listening to music...

Spent a good portion of the day straighting my room....

Spent a good portion of the day eating sinfully good chocolate...

just because...

...I am bored.

I havent written a blog in a loooong time that I didnt know "somewhat" I was going to say to begin with...buuuuut, I am at work, and its going slower than normal because my doctor has a visitor. While any varity at work is alway appreciated, this way, I have less to do. :-(
So, today I'm just going to talk to you, to fill time. This weekend I watched two DVDs.
The Brothers Grimm: This movie was kinda gross in parts ( nasty bugs and corpes and such) and kinda boring and had a insanely weak ending and bad plot. BUT the acting was very good...though, even that didnt make the movie worth it.

Must Love Dogs: This movie was really kinda boring too. Though John Cusack played his typical brooding character flawlessly...but thats not a suprise since he's been playing that character since the 80s. I also though the "dramatic" scene at the end was so ridiculous that I actually laughed out loud. So, in that respect the movie was a winner. Plus, Diane Lane is hot, and a walking advertisment for what botox can do.

December 25, 2005

Joy to the World

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! II Cor 9:15

Well, the day is almost over, and I'm curled up in my bed...

Can I just say, I think we should ALWAYS go to church on Christmas day...I mean, sure midnight services are cool...but there is just something about having CHURCH on the actual day of Christmas! I was SO very pleased that I was able to go to the service, my wonderful boss made sure we made it out in time for me to make it :-) It was truly my Christmas miracle!
And as I was singing the opening Christmas Carols I looked around at all the dear dear ones there at church...and I was filled with such JOY. For THESE people are truly my family! And this is why I think, no matter what day of the week Christmas falls on, we should have church to celebrate...for while I have struggled over the past weeks with the meaning of this season, being stretched and pulled every which way to truly grasp the Truth. It was as if it came together there at church this morning...

Tomorrow is another "hospital holiday" which means the doctors offices wont be open-which means only one radiologist works and he should "technically" only have to read the inpatient films...but its probably going to be a long morning despite that. I dont really mind. Its something different than a normal monday that's for sure! ;-)
besides, tomorrow night we are having a "the girls christmas gathering" at my four girl friends from highschool are getting together for some girly times...I am excited about it. Its really fun that we are all still able to hang out and laugh together after so much water has passed under the bridge of life..hehe.

On Tuesday my aunt and uncle and cousins and their husbands and wives and their kids are all coming into town for a little "run-threw" family gathering...seriously, I think there are like 25ish people in all! Insane how families can multiply! But, that should be actually, I guess this Christmas season ISNT over yet! ha! what was I thinking?
I am going to consider this coming week as "icing on the cake"....for I truly feel like, in the end, this Christmas was a success...a personal victory so to speak.

Well, the blogging community has been a little bit on the dusty bunnies and crickets side of things lately, especially when it comes to comments...buuuut, I have great and high hopes for the coming New Year. Woooooo!

And with that...I am off.

December 24, 2005

The Reason

So, I was talking on the phone with a dear friend. Her apartment complex had called her to let her know that her apartment had burned down...well, not completely, but it had severe smoke damage and her roommates room had caved in...
It was during this conversation that my misconceptions of Christmas took their final breath and died.
I hung up the phone and cried and cried.

I think what really threw me over the edge was that I had spent a good majority of the day by myself. I went grocery shopping by myself, I cleaned my apartment...I did other little tasks...things that didnt really need to be done necessarily, but it was seriously just like any other day. My family was busy with various father was doing family obligation stuff, so was my sister....the cousins I normally think of at Christmas time were either overseas or had work obligations that kept them out of dear grandfather was all alone hours away from me....I felt horrible. I cried and cried and I probably would have continued crying if katie hadnt happened to come home to pick up some presents to take to her parents house. She 'gathered me up' so to speak and took me off to her church's christmas eve service and dinner at her family's house afterwards. It was really sweet. It kept my mind off of things...but now I am home again, writing here to this blog which probably will not be read for some days, since MOST people dont spend Christmas on the computer ;-)

OK, so seriously now, even though I wouldnt say today has been "good"...I am grateful for it, I feel like its been a real turning point. I am realizing that I really DID think of this holiday as a time to spend with family, a time steaped in tradition ( the same christmas decorations, the same family, the same foods...the same music etc etc etc ) And while I still think that is a wonderful thing if you have it , I think its possible I put TOO much of my holiday cheer in these things.
This Christmas Season has been wonderful in that I've had a wonderful special time with a dear friend of mine who has spent me her thoughts on the Meaning of Christmas everyday this has been a incredible blessing to meditate on such has been wonderful to listen to the Messiah at full blast and know that the prophecy it speaks of has truly come to pass...And yet, I really needed my little "guilty pleasures" stripped away to realize just how much they were still there...even though I knew in my MIND what this holiday was about, it was not yet written on my heart.
Its horrible actually to see how with each of those "missing pieces" ( the people, the places, the foods, the books, the activites) that this year lacked, I felt like my entire Christmas was gone. But, now I am seeing it restored again. And hopefully now I can find great joy in one fact and one fact alone....and this fact will be sufficient, and in this fact and this fact alone I am able to fully rejoice in this glorious day:

Phil 2:6-8
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

The coming of the King...

So, tonight as I was reading in Isaiah I was reminded of Lord of the I so often am...and I thought I would share it with you now, for it seems fitting...for truly tonight, I am reminded what Christmas Eve is all about. Our Lord coming to this earth...( in two parts...)
Part One, tonight:

The Verses:
"The people walk in darkness
having seen a great light.
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned." Is 9:1-2

The Passage:
Suddenly the king cried to Snowmane and the horse sprang away. Behind him his banner blew in the wind, white horse upon a field of green, but he outpaced it. After him thundered the knights of his house, but he was ever before them. Eomer rode there, the white horsetail on his helm floating in his speed, and the front of the first roared like a breaker foaming to the shore, but Theoden could not be overtaken. Fey he seemed, or the battle-fury of his fathers ran like new fire in his veins, and he was borned of the Valar when the world was young. His gold sheild was uncovered, and lo! it shone like an image of the Sun, and grass flamed into green about the white feet of his steed. For morning came, morning and wind from the sea; and darkness was removed, and the host of Mordor wailed, and terror took them, and they fled, and died, and the hoofs of wrath rode over them. And then all the host of Rohan burst into song, and they sang as they slew, for the joy of battle was on them , and the sound of their singing that was fair and terrible came even to the City.

Ah yes, tonight I marvel at the majestic grandness of our King...He is not to be forgotten, to be belittled, brought down...for He came to this Earth to take it. To crush Satan under His heal once and for all...and THAT is to be praised...THAT is to be remembered.

December 23, 2005

Didnt get the memo...

So, I woke up this morning and got ready to work, I still feel slightly ill...but I've decided its doable to ignore it that's what I'm planning...I'm still really weak...and my tummy gets upset waaay easily but...or as one doctor said this morning:
"You still look pale."
to which I replied:
" I still feel pale."

Anyway, so I got up and Katie had kindly gotten the mail, last night...
I've been summoned for Jury Duty. They obviously didnt get the memo where I swore off the American Justice System for good.

December 22, 2005

a question..

Why do I keep getting sick?

I threw up at work today and spent most of the day in bed...sleeping...feeling a little less dreadful now...but my wonderment still remains?! What am I doing wrong?

December 21, 2005

good quotes thus far...( again)

Yes, I havent posted quotes from my latest reading of Lord of the Rings in a fact, I took a giant break from reading it...but after reading three other books I am finally back...and it good :-)
So, without further are a few more of the tidbits that stood out to me, either because they were just TOO beautiful or they spoke directly to my own life...ENJOY!

"(Gimli), hearing the names given in his own ancient tongue, looked up and met her eyes; and it seemed to him that he looked suddenly into the heart of an enemy and saw there love and understanding."

"...yet when he tried to repeat (the Elves song) to Sam only snatches remained, faded as a handful of withered leaves."

" ( Lothlorien) is like being at home and on a holiday at the same time, if you understand me. I dont want to leave."

"Seeing is both good and perilous."

"I count you blessed, Gimli son of Gloin, for your loss you suffer of your own free will, and you might have chosen otherwise, But you have not forsaken your companions, and the least reward that you shall have is that the memory of Lothlorien shall remain ever clean and unstained in your heart, and shall neither fade nor grow stale."

"'It would seem like wisdom but for the warnding of my heart.'
'Warning? What warning?', said Boromir sharply.
'Against delay. Against the way that seems easier. Against refusal of the burden that is laid on me. Against-well, if it must be said, against trust in the strength and truth of Men.'"

"Suddenly he was aware of himself again. Frodo, neither the Voice nor the Eye: free to choose, and with one remaining instant in which to do so. He took the Ring off his finger."

"( The Riders of Rohan) are proud and wilful, but they are true-hearted, generous in thought and deed; bold but not cruel; wise but unlearned, writing no books but singing many songs, after the manner of the children of Men before the Dark Years."

"(Aragorn) seemed to have grown in stature while Eomer had shrunk; and in his living face they caught a brief vision of the power and majesty of the kings of stone."

"As he ever has judged,' said Aragorn, 'Good and ill have not changed since yesteryear; nor are they one thing among Elves and Dwarves and another among Men. It is a man's part to discern them, as much in the Golden Wood as in his own house."

"As they walked they compared notes, talking lightly in hobbit-fashion of the things that had happened since their capture. No listener would have guessed from their words that they had suffered cruelly, and been in dire peril going without hope towards torment and death; or that even now, as they knew well, they had little chance of ever finding freind or safety again."

" One felt as if there was an enormous well behind ( Treebeard's eyes), filled up with ages of memory and long, slow steady thinking, but their surfact was sparkling with the present; like sun shimmering on the outer leaves of the vast tree or on the ripples of a very deep lake."

" ( Old Entish) is a very lovely language, but it takes a very long time to say anything in it, because we do not say anything in it, unless it is worthy taking a long time to say, and to listen to."

" I cannot remember that ( Saruman) ever told me anything. And he got more and more like that, his face, as I remember it-I have not seen it in many a day-became like windows in a stone wall; windows with shutters inside."

" I must cool myself and think; for it is easier to shout stop! than to do it."

December 20, 2005

Joy cometh in the morning..

Hormones anyone? Except no...I dont think that is what this about... Holidays anyone?

I wanted to cry all day yesterday. I mean, sure I had some reasons but I dont think I would have normally CRIED about them...but I wanted to yesterday.
So yesterday morning as I crawled out of bed in the darkness I remembered my prayer the night before. "Lord help me to be joyful." I've really been convicted as of late to not let the stress and bad-attitudes of those I work around to rub off on my so much.
So, I guess its not reeeeally suprising that I would be hit so hard with "desparing" mornings after trying to change my ways ;-) Ah, we do have an adversary dont we!?
BUT! The Lord is SO good...out of that seeming darkness the Lord blessed me with a friend to help me fight.
Not even KNOWING about my particular vow to feel more joy about this holiday and for the RIGHT reasons-Tabitha has begun a delightful plan of emailing me everyday with a True Reason for Christmas...a TRUE reason to be joyful about!

So, this morning I almost cried again! But this time it was because of Beauty...because of the Truth of the Word of God...Because of the Lords fulfillment of prophecy...and what that MEANS!
Strangely enough I have been drawn to this chapter of Isaiah all weekend! Well, I guess its not THAT strange ;-) But, here is what Tabitha reminded me of this morning!

Isaiah 40
Comfort for God's People
1 Comfort, comfort my people,
says your God.
2 Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and proclaim to her
that her hard service has been completed,
that her sin has been paid for,
that she has received from the LORD's hand
double for all her sins.

3 A voice of one calling:
"In the desert prepare
the way for the LORD [a] ;
make straight in the wilderness
a highway for our God.

December 19, 2005


Me: Do you have the 5th Season of Gilmore Girls to rent?
Guy: you know when it came out?
Me: Why yes, it came out LAST Tuesday.
Guy: Oh...( looks it up on computer)....well, yes I think we have it in the back.
Me: Oh?
Guy: We are putting them on the shelves tonight
( I look at the guy as though I KNOW he is going to make the right decision)
Guy: you want me to go GET it out of the back?
Me: Why YES! that sounds like an excellent idea.
Guy: Just the first disk?
Me: Um...weeeellll....the first THREE would be better...buut...

And this is how I ended up on the couch all evening...well, that and my movie plans falling through.

I feel blue.

December 18, 2005

All I want for Christmas...

So, oddly enough there are some things I really miss this Christmas season- its odd because technically I am "home" for Christmas so things should be good, right?
Well, most of my "christmas memories" are actually packed away in a storage parents storage room to be exact.
I know, its actually strange how MUCH I miss things like the Nativity Scene that is panted on a blocks for kids to play with...or the little "christmas village" that always sat on the china cabinet but I really really miss these things....BUT, the things I miss the most are my mom's christmas cooking ( which is why I baked cookies yesterday) and most importantly:
Corrie's Christmas Memories By Corrie Ten Boom....this book is truly wonderful, it has five ( I think) different Christmas stories...or rather, four different accounts of THE Christmas story and one "Christmas-y" story...they are beautifully written and never ever fail to remind me of the TRUE reason for this, what has turned insane, time of year. How did it get so FAR from the REAL reason!?
Anyway, I miss that book dearly this season......and it wouldnt take me long to give it a good read if you're reading this, and you just so happen to have a copy or know where I could get on short notice ( as in, before Christmas Eve) I would really really appreciate it. Sometimes I am suprised at how things can strangely effect you so much...but I miss this book ever so much!

But, in a more "unselfish" tone...I do recommend buying this book if you have a chance, I promise will be come a VALUABLE part of your Christmas traditions....

December 17, 2005

holiday cheer

Only three things were in the mail today, but they all turned out to be EXCELLENT:
1. An American Girl Catalogue....looking at little girls dream dolls makes me a happy.
2. A check from SBC...our rebate from way back in August! Better late than never!! WOOOO.
3. The electic bill...and sure, bills are never a good thing...but it was 32 dollars and something cents! WHOOOOAAAA! that is SOOOO LOOOOOW!

*sigh* I guess its nice that we practically live by the light of christmas lights and dont need the air-conditioning! ;-)

So, today was a nice day:
work was a little long and drawn out-but it was followed by a positively AWESOME lunch at the Tousha's for Jame's graduation. Seriously, it was the best food I've eaten in....well, its kinda sad to admit just how long...but anyway, it was great-and the company wasnt bad either. hehe.

I went home and vacumned the apartment even though I SWORE I wasnt going to clean this weekend...meeeeh! once you get started you cant stop! I also wrapped some Christmas presents...and listened to Johnny Cash.

I am going to pause for a moment and ask how everyone is liking this blow-by-blow account of my day? Good? Informative?
Are you DYING to know more?!

Ok, enough of the questions that no one will actually answer
THEN...I had prayer-time-with-Carmi in my room until 6. These times are always a blessing to me, and I am SO glad we were able to talk before she left for Hong Kong....( a little side note: So, the movie King Kong came out this weekend...and everytime I try and say the title of this movie I accidently say "hong kong" instead...its sort of embarrassing!)
Then, I....
Baked some Christmas cookies....went to prayer meeting....convinced Meredith to go to a get-together at Thomas's...went to said gathering...had delightful conversation and delightful hot coco.... I am here sitting on my bed at 9:50... I only lasted thirty minutes longer than yesterday before putting my PJs on....*sigh* hahahahah! You could say I am not even TRYING to stay out late! :-P

Just realized my PJ pants are on insideout. doesnt matter...they work either way...

Goodnight dear friends...

December 16, 2005

is this a GOOD thing?!

So, here I am...its about 9:15 on Friday night...and I've come home after a delightful evening with my parents and sister watching Johnny Depp be the best pirate ever ( you know the one..hehe) whilest eating hamburgers and laughing at funny family things...
And now I am home, happy as a lark...thinking about curling up with Two Towers again...
So, my question it normal for a girl of 22 to be so very HAPPY being home alone on friday and saturday nights?!
who even cares...I've never been one for normal anyway.

Of course, if I become a total recluse someone WILL tell me right?

a little change...

I changed my blog today ( for those of you reading on bloglines)...I decided I needed a slight color change, less bright...anyway, the blue is darker and I got rid of the yellow entirely...what do you think?

In other news, I am really tired today...I need a rest from the hussle and bussle of this "holiday season". Which I think is ironic since i have NO holiday at all. meh, its not a big deal, really...
Though, I will admit to a SLIGHT feeling of jealousy when I popped back to my apartment on the way from "coffee with papa" to work today find Katie curled up on the couch watching DVDs...*sigh* While I dont miss exams and such, I DO miss the holiday that comes after ;-)

December 15, 2005

Under the twinkle lights...

Tonight, as I pray so many dear ones come to mind! How I love these brothers and sisters! My heart delights in their lives! Sometimes, I feel so honored to have such friends, such fellowship. Sometimes, I long to be with those who I am so far from in the physical realm...but above all I am grateful for a Lord who first loved us, that all this would be even POSSIBLE!!! ( 1 John 4:19)

I dedicate this to my dear friends who have not shyed away from my flaws...and those who have trusted me enough to show me their scars....

You look at me
and see
my flaws;
I look at you
and see
flaws too.
Those who love,
know love
a second glance;
each failure serves
another chance.
Love looks to see
beyond the scars
and flaws
the cause;
the scars become
an honorable badge
of battles fought
and won-
(or lost)
but fought!
The product,
not the cost
is what love sought.
God help us see
beyond the now
to the before
and note with tenderness
what lies between
-and love the more!
~ Ruth Bell Graham

Screaming ducks!

I just gave my guardian angels a fright....well, *i* didnt...but some jerk in a truck pulling a huge trailer did....
He pulled RIGHT out in front of me when I was right on top of him...
It is a miracle the people behind me didnt slam into me.
It is a miracle I didnt slam into stupid truck man.
It is a miracle I didnt over-correct and slam into the guy in the oncoming lane.


I feel lucky....yet very shaky :-(

December 14, 2005

I've been tagged!

have been tagged by Merrisa...

Here are five weird habits that I have:
1. I often imagine throwing water in peoples faces when I talk to them.
2. When I brush my teeth in the morning I hum to myself.
3. When I call someone on the phone I often find myself holding my breath until the person answers...this COULD get really dangerous ;-)
4. I wrinkle my nose when I smile, especially when I'm nervous.
5. Whenever I see a duck I SCREAM...( this isnt true...but it would definitely be weird if it was true!)
Now I get to tag 6 people to do the same on their Blog/Xanga.
I tag...Justin, Sam, Sarah, Jordan, Paul aaaaannnnnnddddddd Sunshine.

Here are the rules: You must write 5 weird habits you have on you're Blog/Xanga. Then you must Tag 6 other people to do the same on theirs. Let them know you tagged them too.
Tell them to read your Blog/Xanga for instructions...That's it...

three isnt a crowd...

So, it seems I cant break three comments as of late, meh...I'm not complaining...some of those said comments have been excellent-ly long ;-)

Yesterday, I bought a new cell phone ( ahahahahah! brandspankin new! 30 bucks! New Zealand cell phone companies, eat your heart out!)-its excellent, I love it...its shiny and was my present to myself. :-)

Things are going pretty good, rather busy...but good. I woke up this morning and it was dark and I was sluggish...I really thought it was like 5am or something, I kept checking my clock to make sure it really WAS was. I think it was because it was sun. Plus, I was up a little late reading The Two Towers

I have nothing else to say, I started a few sentences and deleted them because they were lame and I got bored by just writing them.
This is obviously not going to be the post the break that "three oreos" record.

December 12, 2005

a happy new year...

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and shall not fear when heat comes, but her leaf will be green and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit. Jer 17:7-8

yes, it has been ONE year since that day when I cried buckets in the Christchurch airport...and then for a good hour and a half in the air until my eyes felt like sandpaper and all I could do was watch Princess Diaries 2....that's pretty crazy, because it REALLY does feel like yesterday in SO many ways!
But, its been a year, and I was going through my journals tonight and I was once again amazed at all that has happened. The verse there at the top of this post was really important to me for the first couple of months back and I think it does speak volumes about the Grace of God...and how Faithful He was this year in my life.
Because, in reading through 3.5 journals full of prayers, through more heartache than I've ever faced, through some of the HARDEST days of my life...The Lord never forsake, He never left, He never failed.

This year I faced loneliness like never before. I went from having CONSTANT fellowship with people I could pray with, get advice from, get hugs and encouragment in abundance to...well, none of that. Not to say God didnt give me fellowship in Texas He has...but its been different. And I to tell you the truth I am THANKFUL for that loneliness because from it I learned more about God in that solitude that I think I would have EVER learned from having constant companionship.

This year I faced rejection. Looking for a job is nasty business. I still hate thinking about it, for one thing I know my life is probably going to be full of future job hunts. But God really helped me on that road. He gave me encouragment from His word when I just wanted to sleep all day...He gave me a friend who was dealing with the exact same thing, which was extremely helpful ( Kristy, I am continually thankful for your friendship...) and above all He showed me how much His hand was on my life. In the end, I can honestly say that when I finally got my job it was on none of my own awesome prowess...or my amazing resume (CV) ....or my totally amazing interview outfit. Nope, it was just God using His people ( aka. Tom Dudley mentioned me to his Doctor friend at JUST the right moment.) Yes, in the end the fear of rejection was a moot point...I ended up with EXACTLY the job I was suppose to have, and all other jobs were just NOT meant to be.

This year I faced disappointment. I actually think disappointment is a pretty mild word for what actually happened, I think it was more like my heart broke...into several pieces...on several occasions. But, I had an amazing opportunity when that happened. In fact, I remember driving and having to pull over because I was crying so hard. As I sat there in my car, I prayed and asked God WHY this was happening? Why He had chosen not to answer all those prayers?! And then I remember the thought coming into my head of whether or not I was going to stick with this whole "believing" business...I mean, God had "obviously not come through on that one big what now?" and it was there in my car ( on an extremely uncomfortably hot night) that I realized it didnt matter WHAT happened. That I was going to trust God's good and perfect Will no matter what. It was huge in my life. I will never forget it. And I think that's a good thing...for one thing I know that hardships will come again, hopefully not like that...but even if something WORSE happens, I can still quote the hymn "It is well with my Soul" ...for the life of a Christian is not about having "my way" all the, its about "God's way becoming MY way" matter what.

This year I faced sin. Yup, like I never had before. In a lot of ways I had come to the end of my rope when it came to a particular sin in my life, in fact, for a good two straight journals just about EVERY entry is a struggle...and battle that I felt I was loosing every day...but God gave victory. And I saw victory in a whole new light this year. Victory is something I have to choose EVERY SINGLE DAY. God gave me friends to confess to, to be accountable to, He gave His word to guide and direct me, ...but ultimately He gave His son....His son died for my Sin...and every single day I must choose to die to my sin as well....and I have to say its been one of the greatest personal victories of my life. And it happened this year.

This year I faced family and friends. In a whole new way...I talked about this in my last post...and I wont repeat that, I think I said it just how I wanted to, I am still reeling from that revelation! But, I am SO grateful for the people that God has put in my life this year...ultimately its been really wonderful to be so close to my family again, it has been very different to live with then as an adult! But, I have loved getting to know my parents and my sister on an "every day" level.
I think my friendship with my sister was one of the biggest surprises that this year brought. I had NO idea what I wonderful blessing that relationship would be in my life, but it has helped me trimendously. I was also given so many other lovely people to have fellowship with, to re-connect many great people from my has been an honor to fellowship with them again.

This year I faced my calling. Ultimately, my calling this past year was to be with my family through thick and thin....This year called for a lot from all of us-and while I think this particular "thick and thin" situation hasnt ended yet, I feel like God has helped me to be faithful to that. He has also helped me to re-evaluate what it means to pray for others. It has suprised me how much joy and satisfaction I can get from praying for something that I may NEVER get to see the results from ( in person that is!)...not to mince words...this year the things that I was called to do were things I DIDNT WANT TO DO. yup, as you read in my last post..I didnt want to "sit at home and pray for people" and I didnt want to come back to texas...I think all those people that say, " God will call you to do something that you LOVE." is not exactly true...I mean, sure, God gives us passions for a reason...but, sometimes He calls us to do things we wouldnt have chosen to do. But this year, God has been so kind. He has made this "hardship" not a hardship at all. I have found so many wonderful rewards in doing just those very things...that I almost feel silly reminding you that I DIDNT want to do them!

Soooo, I dont know what this next Post-New Zealand year holds...but one thing I have learned is NEVER EVER put such things in a box. For one thing, the wrapping paper would cost a fortune. But, also, this year has held SO many unlooked for events...both hardships and great joys ( I got a job, I was visited by several wonderful friends, I went to Italy, I got an name just a few) all of which I can see God's hand in. So, I give God this upcoming year with the same Assurance..... for whatever will be Well with my Soul.

Thanks to everyone who has been with me in body...all my wonderful friends here in Texas...I treasure you. You make my nights and weekends fun ;-)
Thanks to everyone who has been with me in spirit....all my wonderful friends in other places...I delight in you. Your emails, phone calls, MSN messages and smoke signals season my life.

Some of the many many words of encouragment I got this year in time of need....

"I sought the Lord and He heard me, He delivered me from all my fears." Ps 34:4

"It has not yet been revealed what we shall be..." I john 3:3

"The ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He ponders all his paths." Prov 5:21

"The Lord is my strength, my shield." Ps 28:7

"He has made everything beautiful in its time." Ecc 3:11

"My times are in Your hand." Ps 31:15

"Faith never knows where it is being led, it loves and knows the One who is leading." ~ I dont know...

"He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold and I shall not be greatly shaken." Ps 62:2

"Lead on, O King Eternal, we follow not with fears! For gladness breaks like morning wherever Thy face appears..." ~ Ernest Shurtleff

December 11, 2005

long awaited...

So, this weekend was very busy, yet in a good way....two movies watched-P&P ( which I had already seen..but it was wonderful, yet again!) and then on Saturday I saw Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe...
I know many people that havent seen it yet, and wouldnt want me to ruin it-so all I will say is I wanted to cry the whole time....mostly because it was so beautiful, and because it was as if my OWN childhood imagination had come alive. Wonderful.

Other highlights of the weekend was finishing up some christmas shopping...still more to go, but I am feeling more "on top of things" than I did last week....I also had some lovely chats with Tabitha and Sam...did my heart some serious good :-)

OK, so I know i havent been really "indepth" as of late-thats mostly because I've been in some sort of a "funk"...a spiritual one of sorts...but not really...I dont even know how to discribe it, but the results were a not-so-wordy-Abbey...and for that I'm sorry! hehe.
However, in the past day or so I've been overrun with things I want to post about-which is fun, but also a bit overwhelming. The general topic is that on Tuesday, I will have been in the States for ONE WHOLE YEAR ( minus a trip to italy for ten days..) but I've "lived" here that whole time..and that's really the point of this little milestone. I'd sort of dreaded the one year mark for a couple of reasons...but mostly just one and in the past few days I realize it was "no longer a problem" anymore which was sort of an amazing miracle and I will now share it with you! :-)

( oh, and I just "talked this out on the phone" with Emma so I think it will now be a bit more clear that it would have been if it had just come STRAIGHT from my brain-which is lucky for you! heehe)

We must go all the way back to 2003 to begin this little account, it was at Cutting Edge Design Weekend and I was having a really awesome prayer time. God was really putting intercessory prayer on my heart in an even bigger way, and the first reactions I had were, sad to say, a bit on the scared side...and my Flesh immediately cried out in prayer that day was "Oh lord, of course, I will pray for your people...but please, oh please do not forget me! Please dont let "life pass me by" while I pray for the lives of others!!"
I was actually afraid of this, I felt like God was going to drop me in a "boring place" and i would rot there....yes, i know....silly right, because any Christian should is NEVER boring with God...but, I just wanted to set that fear up for you so you'd know the background.

Anyway, jumping forward to 2004...I was leaving New Zealand ( my grand adventure) and I was going back to Texas ( boring place) and while i KNEW it was where God wanted me to be, I was once again afraid...I was afraid of a boring life once again...
On my last Sunday in New Zealand ( and consequently at Elim) I went up and was prayed is the tradition of all students that leave the church to go off into the un-dunedin world after graduation or whatever....the day when by in a whirlwind but at the Dunedin Airport when I had said my goodbyes to Kristy and Bing I waited to board the aircraft and I wrote down the words that people spoke during that prayer time....many of them were re-enforcements of what I already knew I was about to face...I KNEW what I was going home to, and these words helped me greatly...but there was one that I felt was just "totally wrong" but I wrote it down anyway:
"I see you on a big highway traveling...the concrete is the firm foundation you have in Christ, but you will definitely be traveling a LOT..and very soon!"

Ah-HA! I thought, I know for a FACT I will be living in Texas for a least a few this word is totally wrong.
I got on that plane and took off on a roller-coaster ride of sorts....I can still remember vividly those first few weeks back in the states. Some of the hardest things I've ever faced, were faced RIGHT time to settle, no time to get situated, to get my footing back...and in the midst of "life" I forgot about that "totally wrong" word that I had gotten back in Dunedin.

Until yesterday...

I was praying about this past year, and all that God has brought me through...its truly amazing really. And something I plan to continue talking about in upcoming posts...but as I was praying that word came back to me. And as PLAIN as DAY...I finally understood what it meant!
This year I have travelled more than I have in my whole life. I've travelled thousands of miles in one day...I've gone all over the world in an instant. For, I am truly learning the power of the Lord. Even after a year I feel close to many dear friends, as though I saw them yesterday...and how is this possible?! The answer: i can honestly say I battle with my friends. I stand with them in fights and battles...I rejoice with their victories...I cry with their struggles. God has taught me that you really CAN be with someone through prayer! Yes, the concrete of my highway is the Lord...He is my very means of transportation. And while, I feel sure that one day I will see these dear ones again...I am also actually able to Rest in the fact that my lot is to pray for them in my ( what turns out to be...NOT) "boring place"...and finally....I am ok with that. Finally, I no longer fight against what I have been called to do. The Lord is faithful, and while I know my feathers will be rubbed the wrong way in the future...for that is the way of the, today, I have seen, I have seen the faithfulness of my Father-He has changed my thinking about "time" and "space" forever....and THAT is one of the things I am most thankful for when looking back on 365 days in Nacogdoches Texas...

More to come...

December 10, 2005


Its 9:30 on a Saturday night and I can think of NO better way to spend my time than how I am spending it RIGHT NOW.

Curled up in my PJs listening to Handel's Messiah and knitting....

Louise, I miss would be fun to talk to you right now.

December 09, 2005



Looked forward to having a "girls night" with the Dudly Sisters and the McClure Sisters...we are going to see Pride and Prejudice. Yay! I am wwwaaaay looking forward to this!

I painted my nails red, havent done so in months and months because one of my doctors got "upset" last time when a bit of red rubbed off on his light board when I hung x-rays....*sigh* But, I figure it will make me happy all weekend and then I'll remove it for work on monday :-)

Listening to "Mi Macherai" from the Il Postino soundtrack (this song is also feat. on the Lady in the Water trailer) is incredibly sad, but wonderful...

Watched Cary Grant's Mr. Blanding Builds His Dream House.....delightfully classic. But, I suggest my parents do not watch this movie until AFTER they've finished building their home(s)...the movie made me stress about money throughout the whole thing. ( though, I will say...they build a HUGE mansion for like 30k....a fantastic deal in my opinion....hehehe)

Cleaned the bathroom...and made a list of all the cleaning products I need to re-stock in the apartment.

Went shopping for Christmas presents...faced another setback, seems my overseas gifts are going to be later and later....blast!

Stood on my balcony and breathed in the cold air....then went back inside to the WARMTH of central heating...something that I will Never-Ever take for granted again thanks to New Zealand and their backwards ways ;-)

Listened to the cutest little boy stand outside his apartment yelling "Santa Claus" over and over and over was cute for the first twenty odd times.

Played with the "floppy-eared" dog that lives downstairs...not to be confused with the "evil" dog that lives next door....

December 08, 2005 much more so.

Tonight, I went to the community/SFA production of the Messiah ( not the whole thing...but lots of good bits) and I must say, it stirred my made me think of Heaven...and I was reminded of this, that I read last night in The Fellowship of the Ring
"It's like being at home and on a holiday at the same time, if you understand me. I dont want to leave."

Yes, that is what Heaven will be like but so much more so...and, my dear readers, if there is ANY WAY you can go and listen to the Messiah so, and think that one day we will rejoice will Angels on High...just like that...but so much more so.

I can hardly wait...

Papa sent me this article this morning...and I'm sharing it with you now:
A Marvelous Excursion in the Lion's Kingdom

December 07, 2005

Short and sweet?!

So, have you noticed how short my posts have been of late? So far this month I've only had one substantial post....but, then, no one has seemed to mind too much. ;-)
I think everyone is probably just as busy and distracted as I am by this month of "holidays" and "seasons greetings".
I've had a lot on my mind, but then, nothing I want to talk about really....

Today, being my day off...and then becoming yet another "sick day"...I didnt get ANY of the things i wanted done today! Boo! I hope my christmas packages get overseas in time for Christmas! I am going to have to send them on Friday now, if then! :-(
I also didnt take my dry-cleaning to the dry-cleaners...and I didnt clean the house.
Meh, life still seems to be on continuing just fine.

But, lets talk about "nice things"...first of all, I watched Its a Wonderful Life today...and oh yes, it is STILL as wonderful as ever...I DID have tears literally streaming down my face. Go. Watch it.
I also have finally moved on from the evils of bad shampoo...yes, there IS such a thing as really really bad shampoo...and when you have hair like mine ( aka. a LOT of it) you can not afford to have really gross cheap shampoo....I am back with "designer" shampoo as of today and I already feel better. I have learned one good thing from this dreadful three weeks-of-bad-hair-days, is that you really DO get what you pay for when it comes to hair products. Since I do not use gel or hairspray or anything else in my hair I think I can splurg on this one thing and not feel TOO decadent ;-)

So, while I was lying in bed "not moving" today...I did what I do every month...I copy my blog into a word really HUGE word document. After saving November in the archives of "forever", I did a little reading of 2004...and even the beginning of 2005. It was really interesting, I mean, January of this year seems like just yesterday, but when I actually went back and read it-I felt like a totally different person. So strange. I was also a little shocked at how MUCH I really DID tell my blog...hahahah! I guess I get kind of caught up in the moment and just PURGE! ah well, keeps me honest right? ;-)

Ahhh....speaking of purging, I am feeling a bit better, and I am planning on working a ten hour day tomorrow-here's hopin. Please pray for me if you get the chance.


i caught the evil stomache bug from my parents.

I am lying veeeery still trying not to throw up. i feel awful! But, at least its my day off. But, I had so much to do today! meeeeeeh.

December 06, 2005

wha' happened?

Seriously, "if I had a mind we could take it out and play with it...."

the wise words of my pawpaw....and that is exactly how I've been feeling today!
I lost my house key...and then I found it, but then I lost it again...and then I lost ALL of my keys...then I found my car keys again...but still no house key.


December 05, 2005

where oh, where has my little blog gone?

For some reason my blog won't come up...but I can still this is fun, since its likely no one will read this...

I am sure all will be as "it should be" in the morning...isnt it lovely, how things really are Better in the Morning?!

I love that.

"For when I am weak, then I am strong." II Cor 12:10

Zoolander is STILL funny...years later....and I can STILL quote just about every single line.
"Center for Kids who cant Read good and who want to learn how to do other things good too."-Classic.

a bad case of the mondays...

crazy day at work, not a moment to stop. But, when that moment did finally come along...I realized I'd lost my wallet (at least since Saturday) and that I STILL havent gotten that email reply I've been waiting around for all weekend...ummm....sometimes the whole "email conversation" stinks :-(

December 04, 2005

"making a list, checking it twice..."

I think who ever wrote that song, was actually thinking about how INSANELY busy December is...and how Santa MUST have to make a trillion lists, just like everyone else, to keep track of all the things he needs to do....

tonight I made four lists...and that's just for tomorrow.....

December will either kill me, or make me stronger :-)

December 03, 2005

parties and such

Whew! What a day! Its only 9:30...but I am totally going to bed after I write this!

After work this morning ( which went on until 11:30...during which time I had to have a Politics Talk...which we all know I absolutely HATE to talk about politics!)
I came home and frantically pulled myself together and headed to my sisters house to do last minute preparation for the Baby Shower for Trinity....I've gotta say I will throw a party with the Dudley girls any day of the week...they are fantastic, and I think all in all the day went well! ( which remind me to post the picture I took of my kitchen after I baked two desserts at once last wasnt pretty!)
Trinity got tons of cute stuff for the baby and there was MUCH of the oooooos and aaaaaaaaahs that should be expected ;-)

Then I rushed home to pull myself together again...( at home I found that Katie had gotten us a Christmas Tree...which is possibly the cutest tree ever...we definitely have a festive home now!) to get ready for the nacogdoches christmas parade.
The Dudley's were kind enough to let me go with them...which was great...I love their family, and I hadnt talked to Ms. Kim, inparticularly, in a long time...PLUS they have the GREATEST family connections! We ended up on the Greer's balcony looking down upon the parade...a perfect birds eye view of everything! Fantastic! I felt so blessed that my parade experience was so delightful! And I have to say....watching all the cute little kids was as fun as ever....seriously, there is nothing like Christmas through the eyes of a child!
Buuuut, in saying that, during the really awesome fireworks show that was right after the parade....( seriously, it went on for like twenty minutes and the finale was spectacular!) a little boy asked his mother if he could play with his "gameboy now"....oh my goodness!!!! What has happened to the youth of today that they dont even find FIREWORKS entertaining?!!
horrible, I tell you, horrible!

When I got home from the parade I called Sam back ( he left me the longest message in history on my cell) to celebrate 365 days of not seeing each other. hahahaha! It was good to talk to him, and I realized how fun it is to talk to him on the phone. I remember in Dunedin there was a period in time when we use to talk to each other on the was random because we lived two seconds down the road from each other-but somehow "little" phone calls would turn into long ones....and in thinking about it, I think some people are just reeeeally good phone people. I think it has something to do with inflection in the voice and that you can tell when people are joking and making "a point"....and I swear you can even since facial expressions....anyway, sam is one such person...which is handy since talking to him on the phone is about the only contact I'm gonna have! hahaha!

So, now, I've caught you up to the minute of me and my weekend fun....tomorrow I have to work again, but I'm hoping I make it to the second service at church, at least....I also hope its cooler, because, come on! its UNSEASONABLE out there! :-(

December 02, 2005

over thinking..

You know what I wish? I wish that there was some totally amazing person that I could go to and tell problems-they would have the great and awesome Wisdom to tell me exactly what to do...and I would do it...and then they would tell me what to think...and I would think it...yes, that would be cool. Then I wouldnt have to doubt my thoughts and my actions. Woo.
Yes, I need a King Solomon. Where is he when you need him?

In other news, I got a Christmas bonus today from Dr.X.
He is definitely #1 in my book today.

In other-other news, I got a free flu shot today...I felt sort of sick afterwards, but I think it was because of an email I received, rather than the shot.

In other-other-other news, this weekend is stockfull of things that must be done-and somehow I need to fit some Christmas shopping inbetween baking for a Baby Shower, putting on a Baby shower, working and a Christmas parade. Its delightful when the only "bad" thing is the working...

Not so sure...

If this is accurate...
You are a

Social Liberal
(60% permissive)

and an...

Economic Moderate
(50% permissive)

You are best described as a:


Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

December 01, 2005

Why I love December...

Thank you to Trinity for having a very helpful calendar ;-) And reminding me to tell you WHY I love this month
Granted most of my reasons have to do with Christmas...but its still what December is allll about.

1. You can listen to Christmas music all the time.
2. Singing classic Christmas Hymns in church
3. Christmas cards.
4. The smells....evergreen,cinnamon,gingerbread...
5.Lights...lots and lots of twinkle is as if everyone is throwing a party-all the time.
6. The Christmas parade downtown (its this weekend) with all the cute excited kids.
7. Fireworks...both on Christmas and New Years Eve.
8. Friends coming home for the holidays.
9. Buying presents for people that you KNOW they will love.
10. Writing little personal messages in Christmas cards.
11. Christmas candles.
12. The Christmas story
13. getting more mail than usual ( christmas cards!)
14. It at least PRETENDS to get cooler in Texas
15. The end of another year ( and I've gotta say, I'll be very happy to see this one go!) and the anticipation of a new one to come.