October 31, 2006

Ah yes,

Good question Bing! And the answer is, today is the day that Martin Luthur nailed his 95 thesis to the door of the Catholic church ( or "a" catholic cathedral...but it really was more "the") anyway, this act pretty much began the Reformation...you can read more at your neighborhood wikipedia site because they always give a nice short snapshot of things...and sure it also just so happens to be Halloween...but i like Reformation day better...
Tonight I saw some ADORABLE trick-or-treaters...and I have to say, I started to want a pretty pretty princess outfit myself by the end of the evening.

Other than that, I am now off to lie in my bed and read Prince Caspian, does it GET any better?

Happy Reformation Day.


October 30, 2006


So, I was going to go grocery shopping last night..because everyone knows if you HAVE TO go to Wal Mart its best to do it on Sunday nights...the later the better.
But, even though I had time on my side I just COULDNT do it. Besides I was hungry. And I had told Lydia that we could talk on the phone..
And all this added up to me putting it off until today. So there you have it.
I have to go to Wal Mart this afternoon...
Blasted all...

But, it cannot be helped, I have been planning to write a letter to Ryan and I need the "visual aid included" part printed off of my camera....annnd ( and this is the really exciting part), I need to get ingredients for my Im-an-Indian-Giver-Dinner that I'm making for my Bible Study girls tonight! :-)
yaaaaaaayyyy! I'm excited, I dont think any of them have ever had indian food before and since last week is on record as being "The worst week ever" for two of the girls I decided we needed a little COMFORT TIME....yessssss.

So, all in all, its important that I go to Wal Mart-yet, i think I'm going to go home and put on sweatpants and running shoes before I go...because I dont feel like slipping around on my heels on the shiny walmart floor.

Ok, so that was a whole post about me going to Wal Mart. Hope you enjoyed.

October 29, 2006


Sooooo.....I read The Horse and His Boy this weekend.....I totally believe that books are "seasonal" and The Chronicles of Narnia are definitely in the "cool/cold" weather category...who knows why exactly...its just the way it is. Anyway, this weekend, because I love you...I underlined the quotes that really spoke to me...and I will share them with you now, however, if I'd had my way I would have underlined the WHOLE BOOK...so I suggest you go read it right now. It'll only take you a day...and it'll be a good day.

"Oh sweet air of Narnia! An hour's life there is better than a thousand years in Calormen." ( Yeah, C.S Lewis stole straight from the Bible on that one!)
"One of the worst results of being a slave and being forced to do things is that when there is no one to force you any more you find you have almost lost the power of forcing yourself. "
"(Shasta) thought, "The poor chaps doing all he can already," and held his tonge. And certainly both the Horses were doing, if not all they could, all they thought they could; which is not quite the same thing."

"It was the same snarling roar he had heard that moonlit night when they first met Aravis and Hwin. Bree knew it too. His eyes gleamed red and his ears lay flat back on his skull. And Bree now discovered that he had not really been going as fast-not quite as fast-as he could. Shasta felt the change at once. Now they were really going all out. "
"So ( Shasta) went on at a walking pace and the unseen companion walked and breathed beside him. At last he could bear it no longer.
"Who are you?" he said, scarcely above a whisper.
"One who has waited long for you to speak." Said the Thing. Its voice was not loud, but very large and deep. "

"Once more he felt the warm breath of the Thing on his hand and face...."Tell me your sorrows."


"I was the lion." And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the voice continued. " I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who gave the Horses new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it would come to shore and where a man sat, wakeful at midnight to receive you."

"Who are you? asked Shasta.
"Myself." said the Voice, very deep and low so that the earth shook, and again, "Myself," loud and clear and gay: and then the third time "Myself," whispered so softly you could hardly hear it, and yet it seemed to come from all around you as if the leaves rustled with it."

"Shasta was no longer afraid...But a new and different sort of trembling came over him. Yet he felt glad too."


"It was from the Lion that the light came. No one ever saw anything more terrible or beautiful."


"And of course ( Shasta) knew none of the true stories about Aslan, the great Lion, the son fo the Emperor-over-the-Sea, the King above all High Kings in Narnia. But after one glance at the Lion's face he sliped out of the saddle and feel at its feet. He couldn't say anything but then he didnt want to say anything, and he knew he needn't say anything. "

" The Rabbit agreed that this was very remarkable news and that somebody ought to tell someone about it with a view to doing something. And so it went on. Every few minutes they were joined by new creatures...For the truth was that in that golden age when the Witch and the Winter had gone and Peter the High King ruled at Cair Paravel, the smaller woodland people of Narnia were so safe and happy that they were getting a little careless."

" At last they were going in single file along the edge of the precipice and Shasta shuddered to think that he had done the same last night without knowing it. "But of course," he thought, "I was quite safe. That is why the Lion kept on my left. He was between me and the edge all the time."

"Strange to say, they felt no inclination to talk to one another about ( Aslan) after he had gone. They all moved slowly away to different parts of the quiet grass and there paced to and fro, each alone, thinking."

"The Aravis told ( the story). And Cor, who had very much wanted the story to be known, though he felt he couldnt tell it himself, didnt enjoy it so much as he had expected, and indeed felt rather foolish. But his father enjoyed it very much indeed and in the course of the next few weeks told it to so many people that Cor wished it had never happened."


"Aslan was gone. But there was a brightness in the air and on the grass, and a joy in their hearts, which assured them that he had been no dream."

"Aravis also had many quarrels ( and, I'm afraid, even fights) with Cor, but they always made it up again; so that many years later, when they were grown up, they were so use to quarreling and making up again that they got married so as to go on doing it more conveniently."

October 28, 2006

My story...

remember how I told you I was going to the Scribblers party this afternoon...and that i had to write a story that started with "It was a dark and stormy night..." ? Well, here is my story....

It was a dark and stormy knight that first drew her attention to the back of the tavern. He wasnt like the other knights, so shiny and polished in their deeds.
He had been mulling over his ale for hours. Normally Sarah would have complained about this to the other tavern girls since he was taking up valuable seating space and hadnt ordered a drink in hours. Yet, there was something about the way that he stared into his stein that made her keep her distance, an intensity of the eyes that kept her from mentioning him to anyone. It did not, however, keep her from periodically pushing by his end of the long wooden talbe. It gave her the opportunity to quickly glance down at the piece of parchment that was spread out in front of him. Sarah wondered if it was the circular annoucing the jousting tournament that was to be held the next morning. If it was, she felt sure she would be rooting for him. Yes, she would, maybe even throw down a handkerchief that had been strategically placed in her blouse moments before. Oh yes, Sarah could tell that this fascination with the brooding knight was only just the beginning. As the evening progressed, her glances in the direction of the sinister character grew more and more frequent, her imagination had already begun to formulate their first meeting...possibly after his big jousting win, he would see her through the crowd, grab her arm, and thank her for her inspirational handkerchief that had sealed his victory. Oh yes, it would be glorious....

Sarah's dream was cut short as a shrill, high pitched sound pierced through the din of the tavern. Everyone's eyes turned towards the brooding knight and to Sarah's horror his once dark and stormy face had been alumniated by a blue glow as he held a cell phone to his helmeted ear. Oh! How Sarah hated when civilians brought modern conveniences into the Renaissance fair!
But, her annoyance quckily turned to indifference as she went back to serving her more dedicated clientele, as luck would have it, a surf with an authentic sackcloth waistcoat waved her over to buy another ale. Sarah sighed with satisfaction, it might turn out to be a successful evening afterall!

October 27, 2006

just go with it...

So, when the day started with a message on my work answering machine telling me that I had made a factual mistake in my newspaper article and "if you are going to write something in the paper you should take the time to get the facts right."
Followed by the person hanging up...

I pretty much had to make the CONSCIOUS decision to not have a bad day. I mean, right there....it was very very easy to be in a BAD mood all day.

But, it wasnt really bad...a lot of really nice unexpected blessings happened.

1. My old boss put a "christmas bonus" in my IRA bank account....for no reason but to be nice.
2. My new job gave me a raise to make my yearly income an "even number" back in August and it was finally put into affect today.
3. My landlord came by to apologize for telling me that I needed to "turn out lights" because turns out my electric bill wasnt all that hight afterall ( seeeeee? telling the world that he use to be the most handsome boy in high school musta worked for me! hahaha!)
4. Anna and I ate pizza and watched very indulgent TV...and laughed and talked...it was fun...as always.
5. The moon is a beautiful crescent at the moment...and its crisp and cool evening.
6. Tomorrow is Saturday and I'm going to a swimteam reunion....which should be interesting. ;-)

October 26, 2006


So, the cool thing that happened today was that I realized that they put my Newspaper article for this week on the internet which is nice...
But the uncool thing that happened today was that I realized I put "2005-2006 Board Members" instead of "2006-2007 Board Members" in my Alumni Newsletter...hours and hours of me with a black marker...I hate myself sometimes ;-)
Stupid, stupid...

Although, the cute little old ladies that call to talk about their high school memories in the 1940s makes my job totally worth it.

Go read it!

October 25, 2006

It really was a dark and stormy night...

I got invited the the Nacogdoches High School writing club, Scribblers annual "Reading the grave yard" party this weekend...which I TOTALLY plan to go to, after I squeeze in an appearance at the Nacogdoches Highschool Swim meet ( yay! I hope I get to be a timer!)....anyway, its the perks of having your mother be the Scribber sponser...
So, the my mother's students have all been assigned the task of writing a short story with the opening line "it was a dark and stormy night"...upon hearing about this, my mother and I got in an argument about the organs of said badly written phrase...she said it was from the comicstrip Peanuts...I said it was from an actual novel...

A google search brought me to this really fabulous article on the topic...and it got me thinking...writing a really HORRIBLE opening sentence really takes some talent.

The article also talks about a contest for the WORST opening line...and I gotta say I laughed OUT LOUD at the winner!...so to all my aspiring writers out there...I say let's all practice our writing skills by writing very very badly for a change!! hehehe...

Here's my worst efforts:

"George was lost again, he had taken a right at Chestnut instead of a left which had consequently brought him back up Elm street, which crossed Main St. after about three blocks, where he found himself stuck behind a very large van that had five children pressed up against the back window, who would make obsene faces at him at every stop sign. "


So, I just got out of a "surprise!" meeting with my treasurer...my mind wasnt working well, and he was just wanting to get out of town on his vacation. Let's just say it wasnt my finest moments :-(

I feel sick, it was hard to get out of bed this morning...and the gloomy weather isnt helping...

buuuut, amidst my own doom and gloom there is some light and I thought I'd share it...this is GOOD STUFF, once again from "Morning and Evening" !

Ruth 2:3
She gleaned in the field after the reapers: and her hap was to light on a part of the field belonging unto Boaz, who was of the kindred of Elimelech.

Her hap was. Yes, it seemed nothing but an accident, but how divinely was it overruled! Ruth had gone forth with her mother's blessing, under the care of her mother's God, to humble but honourable toil, and the providence of God was guiding her every step. Little did she know that amid the sheaves she would find a husband, that he should make her the joint owner of all those broad acres, and that she a poor foreigner should become one of the progenitors of the great Messiah. God is very good to those who trust in Him, and often surprises them with unlooked for blessings. Little do we know what may happen to us to-morrow, but this sweet fact may cheer us, that no good thing shall be withheld. Chance is banished from the faith of Christians, for they see the hand of God in everything. The trivial events of to-day or to-morrow may involve consequences of the highest importance. O Lord, deal as graciously with Thy servants as Thou didst with Ruth. How blessed would it be, if, in wandering in the field of meditation to-night, our hap should be to light upon the place where our next Kinsman will reveal Himself to us! O Spirit of God, guide us to Him. We would sooner glean in His field than bear away the whole harvest from any other. O for the footsteps of His flock, which may conduct us to the green pastures where He dwells! This is a weary world when Jesus is away-we could better do without sun and moon that without Him-but how divinely fair all things become in the glory of His presence! Our souls know the virtue which dwells in Jesus, and can never be content without Him. We will wait in prayer this night until our hap shall be to light on a part of the field belonging to Jesus wherein He will manifest Himself to us.

October 24, 2006

I win ( sorta).

So, today I did the only thing I COULD to get back at my landlords for going through my trash ( and if you read Emily's comment on my last post-she was scarily correct when it comes to what it was probably like)...I wrote about them in my weekly column for the Daily Sentinel.

Yup, I bet you didnt know that my landlord who now has the time to go through his lovely neighbor's trash was voted MOST HANDSOME in 1946.

I kid you not.

Annnnyway, we all change-and most of us for the better ;-) I am making a mental note to never ever care SO MUCH about recycling that I go through anyones discards...ew. Otherwise no one will care that I was ALMOST voted Wittiest my Senior class....*sigh*

So, lets talk about something far more interesting:

I got through today! Praise Jesus! I mean, SERIOUSLY:

FOUR MEETINGS back-to-back far to much for one girl....and I'm getting sick...its offical I have a sore throat and I have ulcers in my mouth that hurt, and my whole body aches ( especially my feet-but I blame that on the stupid heels that I wore all day...) so yes, I just downed another Airbourne cocktail ( of course, I dont know what to do with the Sprite can now that I'm through with it..)

So yes, I'm complaining...and I missed talking to Brett, which pretty much stinks since he didnt sound particularly chipper either-and wouldnt have WE made the happy pair on the phone?! We could have moaned in unison...and that would have been very relationship-building.

As I see it...

This morning I went into Java Jacks and I was handed my drink without having to order...sent on my way without having to pay ( this was because of a mix up with my paying yesterday...but besides the point). And then I talked to several other Java Jacks regulars on my way out the door.

It was not until was pulling out into traffic that I thought about how I actually have a "regular" coffee house-where everyone knows your name-and more importantly knows what my favorite drink is...that's really fantastic. Sometimes I like small towns.

Today, is going to be crazy busy. So busy, in fact, that I woke up BEFORE my alarm-all wired and ready to go...meetings, meetings, meetings...and I had NOTHING to wear! I decided fishnet stockings were cool, but not particularly "first-time-to-offically-meet-the-superintendent" material...so I went with pants instead.

In other news, I cant believe you people didnt feel that my landlords digging through my trash warranted comments! I mean, COME ON!!! This is totally "evil neighbor" material!! ( well, not quite...but dont you miss hearing about evil neighbor?! hehe)

Hey, so on a totally different note-this morning I was reading
Morning and Evening, and it was talking about the servantheart of Christ...and I was reminded of Sam from Lord of the Rings; this year I've pretty much decided to forgo my annual reading of the trilogy for reading the Chronicles of Narnia instead...but it really WOULD be great to go back and read the Lord of the Rings again, with the purpose of looking as Sam as a type of Christ...there as SOOO many good examples...Aragorn, Gandalf, Faramir...Frodo even...but I guess I had never seen Sam as having any characteristics of Christ...but reading about servanthood today...I thought about his sacrifical nature towards Frodo-even when Frodo didnt deserve it..was really quite amazing.

So yeah...

Talk amongst yourselves...

October 23, 2006

Recycle Rights

Umm...so I went home for my lunch break and sitting on my landlords patio chairs was a small stack of sprite cans...

my sprite cans...the ones that I threw away in my trash today ( its trash day and we ( my landlords and I) share a bin)..

How do I KNOW they are mine?! Well, because WHAT ARE THE ODDS that the week that I go through a serious "I love sprite" phase, my landlords would as well...and then they wouldnt put them in their normal recycling bags..but instead stack them on a patio chair...

Yup. That's what I thought too.

Smallish rant:
Sure, I'm ALLLLL about saving the planet. I really am, and really if I have the opportunity I'm also all about recycling. What I am NOT ABOUT is having my landlord GO THROUGH my garbage to collect recyclable items. NOOOO GOOOOOD. Its a VIOLATION of privacy for one thing...and for another thing...its gross.

Really gross.

I'm a totally passive-aggressive person, so I dont know if I'm up for my sister's idea of ASKING them if they would like me to start recycling...becaus that seems less passive and more embarrassing...I'm in shock.

Check it...

Wooo! Check it, we're down to WEEKS till my birthday! No more of this "one month and..."
Nooo waaaay.

Who's excited?!
But, it does make you kinda nostalgic for last year doesnt it? awww...yes, I know...I say go read ALL of my November 2005 archives for a little reminder why the year of "Abigail being two and twenty" was a good thing.

Anyway, speaking of calendars...i feel SO COOL this week, I have something going on every SINGLE night this week. I mean, SUUUURE some of its work related ( board meeting tomorrow night)...and some of its always there ( Bible study tonight, church on Wednesdaynight) but THAT doesnt keep me from still feeling waaaay coolness.

Speaking of cool ( wow, I havent had good luck with segues like this in forever...in fact, ever since I learned how to SPELL "segue" correctly I havent be able to use them).

I found out last night that I could be getting YET ANOTHER visitor from afar in the coming months. ( Louise?! REALLY?! I CANT TELL YOU HOW EXCITED THAT MAKES ME...eventhoughyoutoldmenottogetmyhopesupIcanthelpit)
My cup runneth over.

For REAL people, I dont know WHAT I did to deserve so much funess to look forward to, but seriously, its fabulous.

In other news, I need to go on my lunch break...which will pretty much include me going home to wash all the dishes that have piled high in my sink. Fuuuunnnn.

October 22, 2006

Little flock...

Tonight, there seem to be so many on my prayer list...but, this verse at the bottom of my Daily Light reading for tonight really struck me...

Do not fear, little flock, for its Your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." ~ Luke 12:32

October 21, 2006

Love lining

Amazing love, how can it be, that you my king would die for me?

Amazing love...amazing love....

To be honest, I'm still overwhelmed by the importance of that Love....I was reading a blog post just tonight.. I was struck, while reading this persons account of their life, that all our Joy is from above. All of it. Period....oh, sure, we can be happy, we can be relatively content-but even then there is a niggling feeling underneith....but JOY...that pure joy....its all from Him.
Fellowship with Him.

Tonight, I feel like I'm coming out of a dark cloud...the sky is still overcast-but I can see the sun reflecting off the other clouds....its called a silver lining, and yes, this Love...this love is the ultimate silver lining....it can shine through any dark cloud.

October 19, 2006


I can't say I've really got the truth of this yet...but I've got the concept...I've got the promise. I'm all about the promises lately.

"I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears." ~ Ps. 34:4

Yes, spending a day with yourself...realizing how FAR you have to go...realizing your fears are mostly about the deep down nasty things inside you somehow coming out...

Well, verses like that just...well, they're perfect. that's what. Perfect.

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his Word I do hope." ~ Ps. 130:5

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved...

domestic therapy.

So, life has been all "unpredictable" of late...and that combined with the cooler tempatures ( which we've already discussed)...I've been ALL about the cooking ( and baking).

So, here are the two recipes I've been craving the past few weeks-that I have finally settled down to making:

New Zealand inspired "Pumpkin" soup:

1 large Kabocha Squash ( the closest thing I could get to the new zealand pumpkin)
1 large onion
3 cups of vegtable stock
3 bay leaves
2 tablespoons of margarine
1 cup of milk
1 teaspoon cumin
1teaspoon curry powder
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
ground black pepper
salt ( to taste)

Chop and peel your squash...I suggest your sharpest knife...these babies are tough to get into, and cutting off the outer skin can be difficult. Make sure you remove alll the pulp and seeds too! I recommend relatively smallish cube shapped pieces-makes it easier later on...

Chop and peel your onion.

place squash, onion, veggie stock and bayleaves in saucepan and bring to boil. Simmer for about 15-20 minutes, or until the squash is soft and the unions are totally translucent. Remove your bayleaves.

Melt the margarine in another saucepan, add the flour and mix well...be careful its going to clump reeeeally fast! But, then add your milk while mixing and mix until you have a smooth sauce.

Add to your squash mixture as well as your seasonings. It doesnt matter if you mash your pumpkin together or leave it in "chunks" -I personally like it all mashed together-
At this point I suggest that the cook should start tasting the soup...it really comes down to your own personal taste whether or not you add more chili powder, salt or pepper ( personally I went wild with my black freshly ground pepper...and I think it was better for it!)

This soup is best eaten with a thick piece of brown bread...toasted.


Junior Mint Brownies

I was reminded of this recipe several weeks ago-it was one of my favorites in high school...but I'd forgotten alll about it! I'm making them tonight!

cooking spray
1/4 cup of butter/margarine
3 oz. Junior Mints ( the King sized box!)
1 c. flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
2/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 large egg
1 large egg white

Preheat oven for 350 degrees ( F!)
Coat bottom of 8 in. pan with cooking spray

combine butter and mints in a glass measuring cup, microwave for 30 seconds. or until soft...stir until smooth and set aside.

Combine flour, soda, salt in a bowl. Combine sugar, cocoa, egg and egg white in a large bowl; beat at medium speed...or until well blended. Add mint mixture. beat well. Add flour mixture, beat on low speed until blended. Pour batter into pan. Bake for 20 minutes.

Cool. Or, if your like me...eat them right out of the oven..it will be messy but it'll be worth it.


See? I feel better just telling you the recipes. Now, in the same vein as me wishing there was an instruction manual to life. I also wish there was a recipe book for life. Buuuuut, this is the best I can do. ;-)

Of this...

Listening to Hide and Seek ( Imogen Heap)...this song is kinda fitting my mood this morning.

I had some wacked out dreams last night. They werent bad or necessarily disturbing....they just kinda STUCK. And I dont like it when dreams stick and get all upons reality.

Its way cool this morning, which is nice...although I thought the "evening annoucement" at the school yesterday afternoon was a bit overkill:

"Students, remember to dress appropriately for tomorrow's cold weather...the high is only 68...so make sure you bring a jacket if you are sensitive to colder weather."


Are you KIDDING?! Since when is 68 degrees anywhere CLOSE to cold?!

Anyway, East Texas makes me giggle sometimes.

My work schedule is pretty emptyish this morning...which isnt helping my mind. It would be better if I had something to distract me. There isnt even anything WRONG that I know of? What's with the unrest?!


October 18, 2006

He promised

Merissa hit it right on the nail... I dont know why I'm ever surprised when my own life's struggles and victories are mirrored in those I am in contact with...its one of the blessed beauties of the Holy Spirit...

On another note ( sorta) it is the Promises that make my heart sing:

This is the convenant which I will make with the house of Israel," declares the Lord.
"I will put my law within them, and on their heart I will write it, and I will be their God and they shall be my People...
They shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, for I will forgive their iniquity and their sin I will remember no more." Jer 31:33-34


So, I feel sooooo productive right now...

I'm making pumpkin soup.

AND...I had to cut up the pumpkin with INSANELY UNSHARP knives...which was....dangerous. I want knives for my birthday-if anyone cares. *hint*hint* Papa.

But, I was victorious and now its simmering...and I'm happy because this makes me feel winter-y and home-y and cozy and other 'y' ending words that are good.

Bascially its still could turn out badly, especially since I've never had pumpkin soup anywhere but New Zealand...and the NZ pumpkin is decidedly different from the American version....so I stood in front of the entire "squash family" in the supermarket and finially picked out a squash that most resembled the NZ pumpkin and took it home...so yeah...it looks like it'll be good...and it smells like it'll be good...so I'll let you know.

Its finished...and it tastes pretty good...the taste isnt as strong as I would like...but still totally yummy

Welcome to wednesday

Ohhhh maaaaan, can you believe that its ONLY Wednesday?! Is this the LONGEST week EVER?!

Seriously, I think it is.

I'm starting to worry that while September was one of the FASTEST months ever...October is starting to let me DOWN.

So, the comments I got from yesterday's posts...haha. And also, yes, I am already taking those stupid pills at night...Thanks for the suggestion though. I love how everyone looks out for me! Oh, and I feel a TAD guilty for being the instigator for birds and the bees talks...but then again, I DID give you a warning before I started ;-)

ahhh...overshare-age...good times, good times...

So, friends, family, countrymen..I'm sleepy...as in, I almost convinced myself at 8:30 (!!!) that I could continue sleeping...suuuure, I had to be at work in exactly thirty minutes...but I was pretty convinced that all I needed was "ten minutes" to get everything accomplished for work ( aka. look halfway decent).

The lack of sleep can be pretty much contributed to the shape of the earth-and the fact that Texas is two WHOLE HOURS ahead of Washington ( the state not the city...) which has kept me going to bed after 12 for...ummm...days on end. And then, on TOP of that-last night Carmi called me even later then THAT. ( isnt it nice, dear friends, that I keep such late hours now? You can pretty much call me at 1am and I'll still be kicking. pitiful.)

I think its pretty much imparative that I implement a new "afternoon naps" action into my daily activities..or I dont know how much longer I will be able to handle only getting *pause* eight hours of sleep!!! SERIOUSLY?! I got eight hours of sleep last night?!

I dont FEEL like I got eight hours!!

Wow. I feel stupid even bringing it up. Forget I ever mentioned the fact that I'm tired.
Forget it.

I'm lame.

P.S. Did I tell you that Kinky Friedmen ( the guy running for Texas Gov.) actually DELETED me off of his Facebook friends list?! Shocking, I tell you, shocking...I am NO LONGER EVEN GOING TO CONSIDER VOTING FOR HIM. And I dont think you should either. I mean, GOSH...

October 17, 2006

no plan

Yesterday, I changed the background on my computer. It was time for a more "October-y" scene...the Dunedin beach just wasnt fitting anymore.

So I picked out this glorious picture of a sunset over Hastings, New Zealand...all reds and oranges and yellows...its quite breathtaking really. At the time I was picking out the picture I was thinking about the Hand of God and so I printed over the bottom clouds these words:
"I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you in my righteous right hand."

Today, this picture has become more than just a pretty background...its a reminder. A reminder of how my relationship with God is sometimes...

Did you know there is a sunset EVERY night?! I know, hard to believe...especially since most days I dont take much notice....not that its not quite beautiful a lot of the time-no, its mostly because I'm BUSY and caught up in my life...in my plans...in my routine.
But, then, there are times where it seems the heavens just about cry out with beauty and you have to stop what you're doing...or in this case...get in your car and drive as fast as you can to the top of the nearest mountain so you can take better pictures...

I feel like God just pulled a "sunset" moment in my life the past few days...He pulled a God...by being totally unpredictable...so much so that all I could really do was stop what I was doing......
No one but God could create such a artistic scene up in the sky...and in the same way, no one but God knows the best path for my very life...so....

I've stopped trying to "adjust" and "make new plans"...because, honestly I was running of letters in the alphabet to make plans for...we're talking not just plan B...but plan R...and plan V....

And also, I stopped to read the verse that I had haphazardly picked out yesterday...and yes, I realized the significance.

Not only is He that author and perfecter of my faith...I have the prime seat for this life....

His righteous right hand...


This post is not for the faint at heart...I will be oversharing. I will be complaining. So if you dont want to read, feel free to tune in tomorrow where I will probably either overshare or complain-but not necessarily together.

Sooooo....Sunday night I started the delightful process of "making myself feel better through drugs"....and can I just say, I'm really dont remember reading ( even in the fine print) how totally dreadful birth control pills ARE.

I mean, seriously.

Being a women totally stinks...and this makes it worse. I've felt down right ILL ever since. It was explained to me that my "body now thinks I'm pregnant"...to which I believe my response was, "I AM ADOPTING!!"

I also dont understand how anyone could GAIN WEIGHT while being pregnant because I just want to throw up...and the only eating I feel like doing is biting people's heads off.

Anyway, enough about that, since I'm sure I'll end up offending women who are ACTUALLY pregnant...because I bet its totally different... so instead, I'll just say that this is probably the most interesting longterm way of not being in pain...as in, now I've got NEW symptoms to worry about-and while I've been in pain the last few days, it has been totally over powered by the sense of nausia. So that's probably a move in the right direction, huh? ;-)

In other news ( not really, I'm just trying to make it look like this post has more than one topic), I went home yesterday and laid on my bed for three hours straight....I didnt feel sick at ALL...until I stood up to answer the phone.

This IS going to pass isnt it?! Otherwise I'm throwing those teeny tiny pills of evil out the window....

October 16, 2006

rain, family-redefined, holes

Makes it very VERY difficult to get up on a Monday morning..
Makes my feet cold, because they got very VERY wet walking from my car to my office.
Makes coffee IMPARATIVE to the day.

So, hey, its monday...and I'm eating stale cheerios ( one of the notsocool things about going out of town is that you dont go grocery shopping or have anyone to take out the garbage in the rain...oh wait...the last one has nothing to do with going out of town...but everything to do with living alone. hehe).
Does anyone ELSE want to go home right NOW?!

Maybe once I finish my coffee I'll have a new lease on life ;-)

So, let's talk more about my weekend...it was perfect,and you want to know something strange? I think it made it nicer that Corey was there for the weekend too...it reminded me that I am not the ONLY one that finds a great deal of solace in the Abt house...that even though I hung out with my cousin, Ryan, there were the other boys there who are practically family...and while they probably think nothing of me at all: I remember them when they were freshmen in high school and now they're doing cool things like engineering and firefighting...Why, they've GROWN UP! It is SUPER encouraging to see that, its encouraging to see what God has done in their lives. And I am so proud that my dear family, that has helped ME so much through the years, have helped these others along their path too...

Ultimately, while I actually have the gene pool to back me up on the fact that they are my family...I'm pretty sure they'd treat me the same if I didnt have the Abt family tree backing me up...because "family" in the kingdom of God has a much much wider definition.

So, we are definitely on our way to the best part of the year: October-Jan...ahhh...in just those few months I have the possibility of seeing three of my all time favorite people. Thida is coming in..a MONTH TOMORROW!! Emma is hopefully coming soon after that...and Sam...well, Sam pretty much HAS to come too-especially since Aunt Donnave and Mama Gail are both overJOYED at the prospect ( so am I...) of mothering him for an extended period of time...Honestly, I think this will be the GREATEST gift that God could give me right now-otherwise I might just loose all sense of responsibility and get on a plane and head West...as in to Washington....and well, THEN where would we be?!
Besides it making a great story ( which it would)-it would be BAD.

And, so, yes, I am very very happy that I've got friends to fill in the little (who am I kidding: big) holes that my life has afforded...and it's a good reminder that while everything has changed-one thing HASNT changed. God has still got a good iron grip on my life. Thank goodness for that.

October 14, 2006

brain holiday...

I'm having a delightful time at the Aunt Donnave/ Uncle Jim household...I love how you cant have all sorts of things going on around you, conversations that you can...but dont have to...be a part of...there's a comfort there.

My mind is having time to recharge.

So, I can pray...which is good. LOTS to pray about.

Isnt that nice? God keeps you on your toes even when you just want to CRASH?!
I think its nice.

I had some wonderful verses given to me last night....perfect timing ( of course).

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,
casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.
Be of sober spirit, be on the alert Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. I Peter 5:6-8

Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven...Matt 6:10

For this reason it says,
"Awake, sleeper,
And arise from the dead,
And Christ will shine on you."
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise,
making the most of your time, because the days are evil.
So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Eph 5:17

October 13, 2006

News just in: Good won

Yesterday was Weiiiiird.

It was the strangest mix of good and bad.
Luckily, by the time the day actually ended, good won out...but it was touch and go there for a few hours.

Quick, SUM UP! We dont have all day! So I'm just going to dwell on the GOOD and leave out the BAD...because, like I said, good won :

Doctors appointment: good. I like my doctor, she BELIEVES I'm in pain and has several suggestions of what's wrong...we've started with endrometriosis. You can google this if you arent one of the freakishly large number of medically minded readers of this blog ( I some how attract sciency people as friends...which is odd to me...but also totally helpful since I have NO SUCH talent. ) I've been pumped with birthcontrol and muscle relaxers-and I'll get back to you in a month to give some more TOO MUCH INFORMATION moments. My joke about having wild unprotected sex now that I'm on birthcontrol didnt go over well. Funny. haha

Coffee/tea with Elaine: Totally good. I delight in people who are "surprise friends"...gotta admit we were not particularly close when we knew each other back in the day, but I've had some fabulous conversations with her about subjects near and dear to my heart since. This girl has got a heart for missions, a Spirit I can easily sing along with, and ultimately she's a groovy groovy chick. I'm glad our paths cross every so often. I'm just bummed she couldnt come to church with me on Wednesday...rain check?

Bubble bath and praise music: Goooood.
This was pretty much my only option at the time-I had NO CHOICE. I was cold, I was discouraged, my neck was stiff, and I was in pain....all of these things pretty much add up to the bubblebathpraisemusic combo. And of course, it worked some wonders.

Brett: Perfect.
I try to keep my gushing to a minimum-I dont know why. I guess there is some sort of social blogging protocol ( which I probably made up myself) that I feel must be followed. Buuuut, I was reading my good friend Jordan's blog post this morning and I was like, HA! If HEEEE can do it, so can I!!! So, let me just say that yesterday did leave a nasty taste in my mouth. And I MAY have even shed a few "poor me, I cant do this" tears at some point. But, Brett has some sort of GIFT for making me feel BETTER. I cant even explain it, exactly, all I know is that I get re-delighted about how awesome he is pretty much every day. I cant stop thanking God for him.

The Word of God: ALWAYS perfect.
No matter where I am, Spiritually speaking...no matter what kind of walls I'm putting up, no matter how many douses of denial I deal out ( woooo check out the D-words!) the Word of the Lord NEVER FAILS to speak. It sheds light in all kinds of darkness. And even when it hurts... The Grace of God carries the day.

October 12, 2006

the difference.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.
He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
We love Him because He first loved us.
Herein our love is made pefect, that we might have boldness in judgment
Because as He is, so are we in this world.

I am shocked to find how very unstable my foundation is. Or wait...hold on...maybe that's not it. Its just that I cant carry any deadweight on my back. I start to sink.

Tonight, I tried to pick someone else up off the floor. Her situation is scarily similar to mine in so many ways...but then...then there are the differences.
All the differences are Spiritual.

I tried to pick her up, and I felt myself sinking...it started with Fear...and was followed by Hopelessnes.

I had to get out of there...I had to leave. I had to go home and pray. I couldnt think there. I couldnt listen to it any longer. It was shocking how quickly I started to believe the Lies.

You know what makes me the sickest, though? I got out of there... but she is stuck in the darkness...she is STUCK in that miry pit of fear and hopelessness...she's stuck and cant get out. I came home, I felt better. I thanked the Lord for His mercy to me. His grace. But, oh how awful to see my own strength and see that it was NOT enough to get someone so similar in so many ways OUT. How do you HELP the Blind?! How do you HELP the deaf?!

and then I heard the whisper...

He came to set the captives free...

Miss. Complainy Pants.

BOOO! What's WITH today?!
I just havent been able to do ANYTHING right at work! :-(

I dont want to talk about it...

INSTEAD, I'm preparing for my doctors appointment today...by putting together my "pain journal". I didnt actually start putting down details until the middle of September-but lucky for EVERYONE I've been blogging FOREVER. So I went into blogger typed in "pain"...and BOOM! I have a very nicely documented pattern of painful episodes.

Isnt it nice that I overshare?! I mean, I know that I'm glad that I whine and complain so much...now I cant pretty much give my doctors DATES of the times I've been in pain.

I can see it now,

"Ummm....yeah, are you ready with a pen? Ok, here goes...June 15th through the 18th, July 11th through the 14th...August 5th...the off and on until the 15th -17th when it was really bad again and then pretty much off and on again for the rest of the month until Sept. 1st....."

Hahaha! I am SOOO sure this is going to be helpful. At least my doctor is going to be REALLY impressed with my amazing date memory skillz.

At least I'm looking cute. I'm wearing my red shoes today-because I guess, when I woke up, I could just SENSE that this wasnt going to be the best of days. Women's intution or something.

October 11, 2006

driving season.

One of the saddest things about living in Texas is the lack of seasons. I should take that back, you get weeks here and there of autumn and spring...and you get months and MONTHS of summer and a few days of winter. But, I think I'd REALLY like to live somewhere were they actually have four distinct, equally preportioned seasons. Does such a place even exist?!

But, I didnt start all this to complain. No, instead I wanted to give major props to the weather the past few days....very fallish. And the change is MUCH appreciated.

Autumn has always been very high on my favorite list of seasons. Probably because as a small child it held conotations of my birthday- But whatever the case, I dig the pumpkins and the golds and browns..the crispness of the air, the change in lighting...I like sweaters and stockings...and since this is texas-the thought that you WONT breakout into a sweat the next time you walk outside, or that you can add soup to your options of foods without wanting to melt....and the very idea air conditioning is only an OPTION now.

In other news, I was stupid and got the dates wrong on the Shawn McDonald concert...it was last night. I'm bummed. But trying not to think about it.

I have completely and totally decided to visit my family in Cleburne Texas this weekend, baring unforseen negativeness...I need to give them a call for sure, just to let them know that they need to kick one of the many wayward children that live in the Abt house off of a couch...but other than that, I'm in DEFINITE need of "time away"...and I could REALLY use some Abt family lovin.

Does anyone else love driving longish distances as much as I do? I actually DONT like driving short distances. If, say, I have to go to the supermarket...than I'd much rather YOU drive. BUUUUUT, I totally enjoy the time one gets in the car during longer trips-where you can just turn your music up super loud and SING and PRAY and think-and have chats with God about whatever. Good times.
I just paused to think of it works with other people in the car too...and I think it does. I'm pretty sure that if I am comfortable with the other person than I could do all those things PLUS have deep/meaningful conversations + totally random conversations with the other person. Which, you know, is nice too.
But, since I was thinking in particular of this little drive this weekend I just made it into a solo drive.

Alright. I'm pretty much finished with my morning coffee off to work!

October 10, 2006

For all He has done.

Tonight, I turned Hillsong's album "For all You've Done" up really loud and sat...

This song, its now on repeat...

It use to be darkness
Without you I lived my life in blindness
Now I'm found.

And I'll sing, sing I love you so.
because the world can't take away your love.

Found me in weakness
You came to me in kindness
And now I live.

I'll sing, sing I love you so.
Because the world cant take away your love.

I give my life for you Lord
For all you've done.

When I think about the future at the moment, I kinda make this "Ha!" sound automatically....I mean, its hard not to laugh when you're basically thinking about things that you have NO IDEA about. Its hard to imagine what God will do with your little life. You wonder how He could take this little girl from East Texas...take her to the other side of the world...give her wonderful friends, wonderful experiences, give her a new appreciation of Him...then drag her back-kicking and screaming-to East Texas...where she now finds herself blessed yet again with wonderful friends and family and a new appreciation of Him.

It seems that every turn brings hardship and blessing. It seems that life only GETS more complicated,more interesting... just more.

But, tonight, when my mind shifts to the future, instead of trying to wonder how it will "all work out"...instead I am just overcome by "all that He has done" thus far...

I think back to this time last year....to this time two years ago....five years ago....
I can only say that He has dealt kindly with me-even in the hardest of Battles...even the scars...even the wounds....all of it was for Good....
This has been beautiful thus far.


So, I got these totally adorable black pumps ( shoe therapy is proven to work 8 out of ten times) on Friday.

And I really do love them....but there is ONE slight problem. My right foot is decidedly thinner...or smaller than my left foot. I am definitely a 5 1/2 when it comes to my left foot..but my right foot could totally use a size five. ( yes, we dont have to go into how SMALL my feet are!)

Walking from my car to my office this morning, I had to walk past a maintenance man who was blowing off the sidewalk. He kindly stopped his blower as I walked past...but at that EXACT moment my right show slipped totally off my foot.

I caught myself, in a beautiful NOT SO DELICATE way, from falling.

Bless that man, he didnt even laugh...

So, is there anyway I can stop my shoe from slipping?! Its really putting a cramp in my walking style...and I'd rather not be fodder for Maintenance Man Breakroom talk.

In other news, its been raining HARD for the past hour and half. WOO! I love it!

its the journey...

What I need: Airbourne and Sprite= the Anti-cold cocktail.

What I want: a vacation.

What I'm thinking about: How our hands are often tied. So we'll pray harder.

What I'm planning: a weekend getaway to visit Aunty D. and company.

October 08, 2006

back then

My father made a joke from the pulpit this morning about how he had been remiss in making childhood fun for his children...
I DID realize he was joking...but it did remind me of something from my childhood that I think is an example of the way growing up was for me...

I definitely had NO IDEA what was going on most of the time-as far as "realities" go...I didnt know how hard it was to pay the bills, or really how HARD my father had to work....I didnt know my parents struggles, spiritual or otherwise. I lived a pretty much blissful childhood...where the worst things that happened involved having to eat celery ( *shudder*)

But, there were times that my father would stop in the middle of whatever was going on and would make the whole family sing....

There was only one hymn that he made us sing...and I always thought, "silly Papa"

"strange...that he'd just stop in the middle of whatever was going on and make us sing"

But, now, looking back, I know more of the significance....I realize the importance of singing and not just any singing...the importance of proclaiming the Truth-even when I didnt realize the problems, the struggles, the Fight.....I was little and all I did was sing....but somehow even though I didnt get the full meaning of what was going on...I knew things were better after we had sung those words.

O God, our help in ages past, our hope for years to come,
our shelter from the stormy blast, and our eternal home!

Under the shadow of Thy throne still may we dwell secure,
Sufficient is Thine arm alone, and our defense is sure.

Before the hills in order stood or earth recieved her frame,
from everlasting Thou art God, To endless years the same.

Time, like an ever rolling stream, Bares all its sons away
They fly, forgotten, as a dream Dies at the opening day.

O God, our help in ages past, our hope for years to come,
Be Thou our guide while life shall last, and our eternal home.

I've heard the devil doesnt like it when we sing....I know its true.

October 07, 2006


This morning I woke up and my telephone was sitting on the floor in the doorway to my room...hmmmmmmmm....I've NEVER slept walked before, but HOW did it get there?!

AND you should have seen my HAIR! I mean, NORMALLY, I look positively gorgeous at the EXACT moment that I wake up ( HA!) but maaaan, today....I almost took a picture, it was sticking up ALL OVER... it was so funny.

Buuut, as much as I am in the habit of posting unflattering pictures of myself. I decided just to TELL you about it.

On my way home last night, I heard THE greatest advertisment on the radio....I nearly had a wreck I was so excited! Shawn McDonald is coming to Lufkin! WOOOOOOO! Next Tuesday night....I AM SO THERE!

If anyone wants to come with me, give me a hollar, otherwise, I am SO not above going by myself. I love Shawn's music...and I have ever since the fateful day that Lydia introduced his first CD to me.

Yesterday was probably NOT the best day I've ever had...but I've got the coolest family/friends ever and therefore it was probably 75% better than it would have been.
Coffee with Papa, Lunch with Anna, Shopping with Christa, Dinner with Middlebrook and Co., Phone conversations with Emma and Lydia, emails from Tabitha and Carmi....

I guess the thing is, is that while I am NOT HAPPY about the situation at hand-I still realize the beautiful blessings I have been given so that I can handle it anyway.

So that's good...

And, then I can just remember how happy I WAS...and still AM....and I figure it'll all be ok....

October 06, 2006


...and I've been left with an overwhelming need to sleep. And sleep for ages and ages.

Brett is gone. Well, not GONE gone....he's just gone from HERE. He's headed off to Washington state for about a month...and then he'll be in Iraq for about 8 months....

So, I guess "gone" is pretty good and discriptive of how I feel about his state of being at the moment.

Ultimately, along with the general need to sleep, I'm pretty grateful to God for giving me a sense of the TRUTH on this one. The truth is, is that Brett's doing what he's suppose to do...and I'm doing what I'm suppose to do. And as long as we just do the will of God to the very best of our abilites than this will be fine.

Just fine.

So, here's how its going to be, readers, I'm going to be totally and completely honest with you-as much as I can- about all of this. I'm not going to lie to you. I'm not going to sugarcoat the truth. Because, ultimately I've always tried to make this blog as Real to Life as I possible could. And I will continue...

So, right now...I basically want to cry. Cry in expression of how totally UNFAIR I feel life is. But, also cry in expression of how grateful I am that my life is NOT in my hands. Thankgoodness.

So, yeah, I wont cry...because, I'm at work...and that is SO undignified..but I'm just letting you know.

October 05, 2006

the cure.

I've had this nasty awful feeling in the pit of my stomach all day.
And I'm pretty sure its not going to go away...


I'm going to go get a pedicure this afternoon.

It won't totally HELP the empty feeling. But at least I'll have cute toes.

October 04, 2006


So, I got an email last night accusing me of being SECRETIVE and MYSTERIOUS about Brett on this blog.


And as soon as he'll send them to me...I'll even post a picture of us in all of our cuteness..and maybe I'll even gush about how totally great he is.
But, until then...

You really cant NOT be happy with a a guy who has introduces you to perfect gems like THIS.


Yes...that guy IS dressed up like Optimus Prime...I didnt really know whether to laugh or cry.

I went with laughter.

Getting it straight..

Several conversations, with several different people all came together for me tonight. They came together and made sense.
Oh, the Word. It is beautiful. It is perfect. And importantly, it keeps this mind of mine straight.

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication
with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God

And the Peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethern, whatever is..

Good Reputation.
Worthy of Praise.

....Let your mind dwell on these.

The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me,
practice these things; and the God of peace shall be with you....

I can do all things through Him whou strengthens me. "
( Phil. 4)

October 03, 2006

weather-you like it... or not.

Oooooh....its the best pun I could come up with for 9am. So, deal with it.
But, seriously, the weather is NASTY here in Nacogdoches. The adjectives that come to mind:


Profound, I know...but, I guess I was just ready for fall to arrive when October rolled around. WRONG!

Another proof that its DEFINITELY not cool enough yet: the bugs are still ruling the night air.
I've got bug bites on BOTH my arms from sitting outside last evening.

In other "Abigail is complaining" news, I reeeeeally wanted a Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit from McDonalds this morning ( why, yes, I AM super healthy thanks for mentioning it.) but the line was waaaaaaaaay long. So, I'm still kinda bummed about that. I have consoled myself with the fact that I'm having dinner at the Parents house tonight...so I KNOW that dinner will be good.
Honestly, Papa reading that book about the chef last month was one of the best things that has happened to the Abt family in a good long while. He's been down right inspired. We have ALL reaped the rewards.

October 02, 2006

So far..

I totally didnt want to come to work today. I mean, seriously, I reeeeally wasnt feeling the "Go to work" vibe.

But, I came.

I thought I'd be able to leave work because my monitor had gone out on Friday. But, UNFORTUNATELY, for the first time ever ( unsolicited you can be sure) I was given GREAT service by the computer people...and I was given a "replacement" monitor while i waited for mine to be replaired.


Thanks a lot.

And then my old boss came by because I'm doing a favor for him, and he stayed and for an hour.

But, here I am, being a good girl. Working.
However, here is my main thought process at the moment:

" I have exactly three more days (after today) with Brett in town.
All of this other "stuff" that I'm doing...well, its just pointless."

I know, I know, that's a very bad attitude. And I'm trying really hard to work on it. You know, pay my bills, going to work, talk to people.. and the like-because apparently life has NOT started revolving around me.