June 30, 2006

lovely. good bye..

So, after an insaaaaaanely boring day at work, it finally came to an end and I took my scrubs off for the very. last. time.


Honestly, I'm not "elated" about leaving my job. Happy. But not Estatic.
Because, ultimately I really got a lot of satisfaction and joy out of serving "my doctors" everyday. I really enjoyed putting up those films..and I even had my pet studies to hang ( I loved to put up the MRI of the Brain...don't ask me why.) And in the past week, as I've trained my replacement I've gotten some secret satisfaction in knowing that I actually do my job really well! And I KNOW it backwards and frontwards.
Which is, ultimately why it was the perfect time to go.

Its so very easy to get comfortable, and God showed me that about myself several months ago, and it was a very UNcomfortable ( ha!) process of me letting go...which delightedly led to the events of the past few weeks ( God prepares!).
So, I'm leaving my comfy job.
But not without some serious nostalgia. God was so very good to give me this job waaaaay back in March of 2004. A job where I was able to sloooowly work up to full time ( because God knew I couldnt handle the real world "all at once.").
I was shown that I could handle learning things that didnt come necessarily naturally to me ( medicine? REALLY?).
It was a job where I was given PLENTY of Characters, material for SEVERAl dozen books...and I enjoyed disecting them everyday in my head.
It was a job where I literally spent my days doing what I loved the most,and at that time it was-keeping in contact with my friends ( via emails and blogs)...which helped me through that nasty "I'd rather be in New Zealand" phase.

Yes, I will look back on my days in Radiology ( hehehe!) fondly..and I'll be sure to casually mention it to my children one day, and they'll marvel at how totally weird and crazy it was that I'd EVER work in such a field.

But, isnt this just a tribute to how life is? Who would have known that this is where I'd end up? And this is where I would have gone? And where I'd now be LEAVING?
Hard to believe, hard to believe.

I probably should wait to post this "good bye" post on Sunday, which is my official last day of work...buuuut, I have a feeling I should express the sweet nostalgia now...because by Sunday I have the feeling I'll just want to get the Heck out of there! And...welll....the job does deserve a little bit more of a tribute than that!

God is in the details!

So, lets recap...I was coming up on my last two days before the deadline of when I had to tell my apartment people that I was/wasnot returning next year...
I honestly didnt know what to do-I hadnt found a roommate who could commit, and I couldnt find a one bedroom apartment annnywhere.

And then I found the perfect PERFECT place...

Its practically situated in a PARK (its hard to explain, but its one of those well kept Nacogdoches secrets). My neighbors ( also my landlords) are the sweetest older couple ever, and....they have a CAT!

So, lets recap again...*I* was worried about BIG (practical) things like...timing, and MONEY ( big one) and decent applicances and plumbing-which God just took care of it one fail swoop, and in the PROCESS God gave me all the things that I wouldnt have even ASKED for:

A Huge Bedroom.
A place to store my washer and dryer ( because they already provided both).
Lovely neighbors.


I will be moving the day after I get back from New Zealand, into the PERFECT place for me ( the hunting themed bathroom aside)...GOD IS SO GRACIOUS AND GOOD.

June 29, 2006

I support the troops.

So, my sister called me at 4 and was like, "Why havent you blogged today?"
Well, one of the MAIN reasons is that Ive been playing teacher all day...I'm actually really enjoying showing the new radiology assistant the ropes, I feel like a proud Mommy everytime she gets something new right! :-)

But, the other major reason for the lack of post today is that I spent a heck of a long time writing a REAL LIVE LETTER. Gosh! it takes a long time to write something out by hand ( or make it interesting, anyway)!! And it takes EVEN longer to tell ALL the crazy things that have happened to me in the last three weeks! Honestly, its pretty crazy! I have one more person that I have to write the old fashion way...but they're going to have to wait until later after my hands have stopped spasming.

I'm looking at a possible apartment today. Cross your fingers, this had better be it! ( and if it IS, then we can look at how amazing God is, to give me the lead exactly ONE week to the HOUR that I found out about the horribleness of having to move! God works pretty fast!) But, I'm getting ahead of myself...first I need to get off of work. I'm just going to leave at five no matter what...I mean, what are they going to do FIRE ME!!?!

hahaaha (I'm kidding, by the way, for all of my ultra serious-no-sense of humor-readers)

June 28, 2006

Quick! Post!

So, I recognize positiveness when I feel it these days...and since this week has been rather difficult, I thought I'd grasp the chance and post while I'm feeling all positive-like.

The reason for the positive feelings? Mostly because I've had more sleep...you remember me mentioning ( probably in passing) that I wasnt sleeping much these days? Well, it finally caught up with me on Monday...felt down right puny-and I've done my darndest to fill the void since...so, I THINK my sleep meter is starting to be more in the black.

I also have another positive lead on the living situation. Prayer is still at the maximum. I'm trying not to stress toooo much about it all, and no matter how wonderful my parents are in helping me be "under less pressure"...I cant help but feel it. But, I KNOOOOW it'll work out-and though I actually prayed that "the world would end" yesterday so that I wouldnt have to make these hard decisions based on nothing...God didnt answer that particular prayer...which is probably for the best any how ;-)

Work is really full on at the moment. Training Angela ( my replacement! yay!) has been fun and she's catching on quickly-but, it means that I'm constantly thinking of things i need to tell her-which means less down time! hahahah! Since training will continue for several more weeks after I actually leave, Dee has decided to take two vacation days ( tomorrow and friday) so that she can rest up before she is on ten hours a day, seven days a week. *whew* talk about overtime!
But, this means that *I* am getting overtime this week...which is nice for ME...since *I* will NOT WORKING starting MONDAY.

Who's excited?!

So, that's life at the moment...in other news my Alumni Meeting went well yesterday, I'm really glad I dragged myself out of bed to go-because ultimately I was able to sit back and observe without any pressure ( besides being introduced to the board and making an impromptu speech about myself)...when the NEXT meeting I'll be expected to give the monthly report and be "center of attention"...so, NOW I have made little judgments on how to "win the crowd" in the future....so, THAT'S helpful.

Honestly the stress of "no where to live" and finishing up my old job on a high note has worn on my mind SO much, as of late, that I've thought very little about my new job...but the meeting put me back in "excited/scared" mode...which is good...because sometimes I forget JUST what a blessing all the craziness of the last two weeks has been.

So, that's pretty much my life as of today....
I'm looking forward to next week...when at least ONE of my stress-factors will be gone!
Please, if you think about it, continue to pray for me in regards to where I will be living and HOW I will be living-I kind of need to make my decision on the "should I stay or should i go?" part of that decision by Monday ( we have to say we are staying or leaving 30 days before our out date).

June 27, 2006


So, what happens when I have a huge plate full of things to be done?

I get sick! AAAHHHH yesssss!

Actually, I'm not THAT sick, just a bit run down really. Went to bed at 9 last night, and then slept for three more hours this afternoon...and i honestly would have STAYED there if I could have...but I had to get up.
I must go exercise ( stickers and all)...and then I have my first board meeting for the Alumni Association this evening ( which I didnt find out about until today...)

I am also a bit down, to be honest. I have pretty much decided to give my apartment up next year since I couldnt find a roommate...and things were looking SO promising there for a little while!
I suppose the next step is to find a one bedroom apartment/efficency or something along those lines.
But, I'm left wondering WHAT God has planned here?

June 25, 2006

Hopes up...

Watched the movie ( or part of it) Hope Floats with Anna tonight...we loooove this movie. Lots of reasons, but one that really stuck out to me this watching was how WELL they opitimized "texas at night"...I think it was the lighting...and the sound of crickets...but you can almost SMELL the heat and the humitity and just that....smell. The smell of little texas towns.
I really DO love Texas. I always will. No matter WHERE I am in the world, I'll always love Texas at night.

Anyway, that wasnt the point of this post...HOPE was the point. I was just talking to Emma on the phone-and I was talking about the various things in my life that are changing, the possible changes, and the things i WANT to change.
I realize in talking to her, that even with all my intentions not to-I have gotten my hopes up.

Normally I'm not BIG on getting my hopes up-but I have. And honestly, I dont even care. Because I really really want this to turn out! I dont think I've ever felt THIS excited about something...and this...optimistic.
Its weird.
I'm realizing just how MUCH I use pesimism to get me through life..."dont get your hopes up for anything..and it wont let you down."

Ummm...yeeeeeeah. That's one way to live, but its not a very happy way!

So, my hopes are officially "up" at the moment. I'll let you know how that works out for me...( remind me in about two weeks..if I havent mentioned it.)

So, in other news- I'm starting my last week of Radiology Action tomorrow. WOOOOO!
I'm praying that I leave it all on a happy note. It really has been a prime job, and I have already seen how God has used it for good in my life...and who knows how many other ways that I havent yet seen... I couldnt have ASKED for a better transition job! So, yes, seven more days ( in a row) and then I say we all celebrate ( next sunday night!) because I will officially be a BUM for the next month...or at least that's the plan. Though I'm hesitant to make ANY plans anymore...the past week and a half have really messed with my whole "Let's make a plan" mentality.


This weekend my blog has been thrust in my face MORE than once...I've questioned the MEANING of this baby. Do I share too much? Am I willing to accept that sooo many people know sooo much about me?
In a lot of ways, I feel strongly that I've been put here to be HONEST-that its GOOD for me to tell you what I feel, what I'm struggling with...what I'm happy about.
But, then, it often seems that people get this false sense of "closeness"...and while YOU maybe close to ME...I am NOT close to YOU....so you can see how it makes me a mite uncomfortable sometimes ( hahaha! I'm talking like Firefly! heheheeh).

Enough babbling, Abigail, go to bed!

June 24, 2006

no sleep...

For weeks now...I go to bed late....I get up early. I just cant seem to stay asleep for long.

I know this doesnt constitute as REAL insomnia. It just makes me feel sorry for those of you that DO have serious trouble sleeping...

In other news, it seems that I am praying the same prayer in EVER single aspect of my life in the moment. "I am blind..show me the way."
I am blind to the future ( obviously), blind to what I should do...what I should wait on...what I should say...what I should think...

Take my hand, lead the way.

Its times like these where I feel like a very little girl being pulled along by her Father. Ultimately its a wonderful thing not to have to think about where your going, or how things are going to be when you get there...things just are 'taken care of' for the little girl who just trusts in her Daddy, and lets Him lead her...
But, oooh, at the same time...little girls are inherently curious and rebellious...oh how they PULL on Daddy's hand! Wanting to go play outside, or go pet the puppy on the street...

I just pray that I am a good little girl. That I'll hold on tight.
But, then again, the LUCKY thing is...He's holding my hand too...so even if my hand slips He holds on.
Thank goodness.

Had a lovely graduation barbeque tonight...I am STILL fill at midnight....ugg...

June 23, 2006

new baby bites the dust...

my computer wouldnt start again...stupid New Baby! :-(
But, then, it started again...so I'm frantically backing up my music library before it decides to die again...

Its friday night and my Pawpaw just moved to Nacogdoches...things are changing faster than I can think! Is this what it means to get older?!


...for Captain Reynolds.

Oooooh maaaaan, I am sooo loving Firefly! I've missed my "no T.V." sticker TWO DAYS in a row, because I cant resist watching this show.
Meh, I have SUCH a thing for "hardened"/silent/yet all sensitive underneith" types.
I KNOOOOW its cliche.
I dont care.

I dont just watch the show for The Captain, however, I'm not THAT shallow *cough*cough*. Every single show I marvel at the cleverness of the plotlines...and the funny funny lines ( I love Jayne too! ahahahah!)
I've decided to exercise some self-control and save the rest of the DVDs for when I'm through with work. ;-) we'll see how I do.



June 22, 2006

ten days ago...

I was doing my quiet time and these verses really spoke to me...

" I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption."~Ps 130:5-7

And I KNEW that knew a song based on these verses, and as is my way I wanted to listen to it...but at this time Baby had died and therefore I had to resort to my ipod....ummm...in case you didnt know its nearly IMPOSSIBLE to FIND a song that you just "roughly" know on an ipod...you pretty much have to know the EXACT name, the EXACT artist or the EXACT album.....I knew none of these things...

But, then tonight I was doing my quiet time and I had praise music on in the back ground and BAM! There it was! Bringing the verses back to me....
( its by Jeremy Camp by the way...hahaha!)

Annnnyway, good verses...really great.
So, I think I may have mentioned that I started a new journal a few days ago, which is becoming more and MORE fitting as more and more changes in my life. Anyway, as you know ( or you should!) I always "christen" each new journal with some sort of major quote or verse or song or something on the first pages...its become semi-important to me, because it seems that since I've been doing this I've found that those words have really been an underlying theme of my entire "journal season" to come...And usually its pretty easy for me to pick whatever goes on that first page-because its whatever has really spoken repeatedly to me at the time of starting the new journal...strangely this journal it was hard...dont know why....But, in the end there were TWO pages of quotes! hahaha.

Thought I'd share the front page of my journal with you tonight-for whatever its worth:

"Set my spirit free that I might worship Thee.
Set my spirit free that I might praise Thy name.
Let all bondage go, and let deliverance flow.
Set my spirit free to worship Thee."

"Your loving kindess is better than life, my lips shall praise You.
Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name.
My soul shall be satisified as with marrow
and fatness, and my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips." Ps. 63:3-5

"You are worthy, O Lord; to recieve glory and honor and power..." Rev. 4:11

"PREPARE YE THE WAY." ( its written in ALL caps at the bottom of the page...)

"I wait for the Lord
My soul waits.
I wait for the Lord.
My soul waits.

In His word I place my trust
In his word I rest
In his word I place my trust
For I know I must wait."


"...my Savior Leads me."

From one of my all time favorite hymns.

So, yesterday, I admit I wrote that blog post during the first two hours of having some very upsetting news just POPPED on me. I admit, I didnt react particularly well...and I also still carry a TINY bit of resentment that it happened at ALL...I mean, where the heck is the communication in the world anymore?! Am I the ONLY one that likes some NOTICE?!?!?!

That's the beside the point, because it was AFTER I'd cried twice, and talked to my mom and my sister and written a blog post...that I sat down and just said out loud:
"It's going to be OK."

I honestly HONESTLY believe that! I really really do...I mean, I'm still a TAD on the stressed side, but being stressed is just one way of knowing that you're alive. ( hahaha!)

I've been encouraged by the past few weeks and how God has TOTALLY and completely changed my life...on little piece at a time. I got a new job. Just like that. I got rid of the old job. Just like that. I got a trip to New Zealand. Just like that.
My journal was full of me being super grateful and marveling at how PERFECTLY things were working out.
So, if I could just take a page from my VERY OWN journal I would KNOW that this TOO would work out. Just like that.

I've been encouraged by the fact that only a few days ago I felt the sudden need to plan my trip to NZ IMMEDIATELY-even though I seemingly had plenty of time to do so...this turned out to be an important thing, since, honestly if I'd waited and Katie had told me what she told me yesterday...I would have cancelled any THOUGHT of taking a trip ( and I probably would have secretly hated katie forever for it! hahaha!)...so I'm encouraged because I'm now almost MORE excited about this trip. I know that its IMPORTANT that I go.

I've been encouraged by the fact that only a few weeks ago-before ANY of this had happened, I wrote in my journal that I felt like I was at the cusp of a turning point in my life...that things were going to really CHANGE. At the time I didnt know WHAT I was talking about ( I figured it was hormones) but I prayed about it any way...I was relatively excited about it....but then, it actually happened. And I feel sure God will honor those prayers...prayed in ignorance of what was to come.

Its true...things are about to get DOUBLY DIFFERENT. To name only a few,
I'm changing jobs.
I'm moving ( somewhere...even if its just to my parents spare bedroom...heaven forbid!)
My grandfather is moving to Nacogdoches, tomorrow...
I have a feeling that even my social life is going to change...
I honestly feel like the changes are going to be even bigger than what I can see now...
But, its ok....its exciting.

I LIKE to be in control! I really really like to know what's going to happen! And I really really really don't like change.

So this is going to be fun.

June 21, 2006

(bad) suprise

Due to miscommunication ( my roommate with her parents)....I am now very much looking for a place to live...

I have to be out my the middle of August.

I'm majorly stressed.....

For those of you in Nac....be on the lookout, and remember I cant afford much :-(

How is it possible for me to have everything working out SO PERFECTLY and then in TWO seconds have everything come crashing horribly down?!

someone hand me a tissue...and an apartment.

June 20, 2006

Dear *mumble*mumble*,

On June tenth I wrote a letter, but just now found it under my bed...I kind of stink at getting letters TO the mail box a lot of the time...but....after reading it, I decided NOT to send it and instead to post an excerpt of the letter here. So here's the letter ten days later:

......So exciting news in Abigail world (me speaking in third-person in a letter! hahaha!: I got an interview for the alumni coordinator job I was telling you about-After a WEEK of silence ( upon submitting my resume/letter). Dude, I THOUGHT I was patient...turns out I am not patient. At. All.
But, after a horrible week or me waiting. On Thursday night I had a really good prayer time. I realized that while this job is exactly the kind of thing I get excited about, I DIDNT care. I didnt care at all. All I really wanted to do was serve God in whatever I am doing-honestly, that sounds way cheesy. But, take away the cheese and I felt rather peaceful about it. Peaceful on both sides, since I'd actually sortof been worrying about whether me having a "real" job would effect the various ministries I feel strongly about. So, really, now-if I DO get this job I will know God'll hel me adjust...
Of course, the very next day I got the call for the interview ( coincidence? I think not.)
But, before I get ahead of myself. I have an interview with the ENTIRE BOARD OF DIRECTORS on Thursday! That's SEVEN people ( it ended up being four..) I get nervous for interviews where I have to please ONE person! Not four women and three men...covering the rangers of ages and backgrounds. Good grief! ( ummm...since when do I say "good grief"?! Obviously, in handwritten letters that's when..)
But, honestly, secretly I'm excited. It'll be a challenge. And I havent had a professional challenge in I dont know how long. Besides, I can BOMB the interview and still get the job if that's how God want to do it. It basically has nothing to do with me. I step back and look at how God's brought me to this point-I can honestly say that a year ago this job would have freaked me out-Sure, I wouldnt have told anyone...I told everyone I WANTED a good full-time job! But secretly I was scared. Scared I couldnt do it. Scared that by having a good job I'd some how get sucked into living in Nacogdoches forever. Scared that I'd loose my not-ready-to-grow-up-22-year-old Identity.
Well, I still admit some of the "scared I cant do it." is still there, but I think its a healthy amount of fear. And the other fears...well, I can see exactly how slowly and patiently God's worked those things out in my life...I no longer FEAR Nacogdoches, I no longer think my desire to travel and experience other cultures has come to a tragic end. I dont know HOW or WHEN or WHERE. But, I can confidently and happily go about a "normal" ( life isnt normal anywhere) life here with the confidence that my love for other countries-basically the WORLD, is for a reason ( guess I didnt see my exciting New Zealand trip coming did I? hehehe)
Surely I wouldnt have that love if I wouldnt get to USE IT sometimes?
I no longer fear loosing my not-growing-up-Identity. Because I now know I'll ALWAYS get excited about silly things and be totally childish over really random things...and I dont think me getting a job will change that. Besides I get carded EVERYWHERE. That'll keep you young!

So, even if I dont get this job it has been a cool lesson in God's faithfulness. He is faithful to work us over-slowly or by just tossing us in the deep-end...either way His ways of teaching are PERFECT. His TIMING is PERFECT.....

I am crying

And its only 9:25 am.

But WHHHHHHHY am I crying?!

Oh its goooood.

Its verrrrrry gooooood.

I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!I'm going to NewZealand!


Anyway, the basic outline is....
Arrive in Auckland Sunday July 16th ( I'm going to church with Carmi!!!!)
Arrive in Dunedin Tuesday July 18th
Arrive in Wellington Monday July 24th ( Louise and Matt's anniversary...so I guess I wont be seeing them right away! haha!)
Arrive back in Auckland night of the 27th ( Last harrah! )
Leave back to Texas night of the 28th

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Everyone in those corresponding locations had best CLEAR your calendar, plan sick days at work and basically hold your breath until I arrive....

June 19, 2006

go ahead, make my day...

So, today has been totally insane at work. But it doesnt phase me. One. little. bit.

In fact, I went so far as to say to Doctor Number 2:
" I dont even care WHAT they say to me, because I only have *pause to count* eleven more days of this!"

DN2: "Well, you'll just go from one pile of crap to another! that's how jobs are."

Awwwwwwww!!!! I'm gonna miss him! ( as much as I missed Rita the Hurricane after she was gone.)

Annnyway, I dont care what Mister Positive Attitude says, I'm EXCITED about my new job...

I'm also excited about...

June 17, 2006

Forthcoming facts.

My job position: Nacogdoches Alumni Association Coordinator.

Writing weekly articles for the newspaper promoting the school and its alumni
Putting together/designing/writing quarterly newsletter
Getting website updated/designed/more usable and excessible ( my biggest priority..they are WAY behind the times!)
Put together fundraising events..
Recruiting and maintaining Alumni member ship ( a lifetime membership is 100 dollars for all of you who ever attended NHS-you didnt even have to graduate from there...you just had to go..hehehe!)
Decorate the rather large office so that people will want to drop by and enjoy our resources.
Maintain the NHS scrapbooks..
Basic office stuff...

Ok, that's all I think of at the moment...

Things I'm rather excited about:
Well, basically ALL of the above tasks are things I actually enjoy doing on some level or another-its fantastic I'm going to get PAID to do it!! Woooo!

Also, I get to wear cute clothes to work...no more scrubs! ( if anyone needs a girls size Small scrubs you are welcome to all of mine- I never plan to use them again)

This job is on the "school calendar" which means that I will possibly get a HOLIDAY! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! now that's exciting!

I THINK I'll be making more money ;-) But, honestly I dont even care...

The hours are flexible. Which I gave a huge (secret) sigh of relief about, I dont know if I'll ever feel particular excited about being "tied down" to a nine-to-five-er.


I didnt realize I was a "gusher" until my friends started to have ADORABLE babies...and then I realized, yes, I DO gush...and I am PROUD of it. ( If you could see Noah Scott, you'd gush over him too!)
So, in saying that, I am about to gush about yesterday...not because it was "adorable" but because it was seriously SUCH a good day.

I've decided yesterday was so great, because I didnt actually GET my new job until 7:30 or so in the evening the day before...and even after getting it...I STILL had that annoying Kidney Stone to deal with ( which will put a damper on ANY Abigail-internal-party, just so you know)....but the next morning...I woke up smiling...and I had no pain...and thus began a day of internal-partying.

The party ONLY got better when I got on the scale and I had lost .5Lbs....oh....go ahead...laugh....but you dont realize the significance of said half a pound. Said half a pound meant that I could buy Firefly on DVD.
And it shows how much I care about loosing weight...because I obviously was WAY more excited about the prospect of buying this Series than in fitting into clothes better ( obviously the half pound was just part of a group larger than just ONE pound)! hahahaha! *ahem*

So, then I got to work...and I was a TAD nervous about telling my doctors I was leaving...afterall, I figured it would come of a suprise, even if they DID encourage me to "find greener pastures"...but of course, they were fantastic and congratulated me and, in fact, I felt really good because they told me they hoped they got a replacement in time for me to help train them...because they felt like I would offer another good perspective that Dee wouldnt! ( that means they must really like me!)
All in all I was feeling rather fantastic, especially since it now doesnt matter if Doctors are rude, or if Techs dont do their job, or if I have to stay late because NOW there is written on the calendar above my desk this on June 30th:
"Abbey's Last Day!!"


So, after work, the party continued ...as I continued in my quest to read books that have "affected me greatly"...yesterday, it was the Little House on the Prairie series...it was soooo delightful that every now and then I'd have to put the book down and sigh to myself and smile.

After reading for a rather long time I decided to go exercise early and I got the mail on the way....I got SUCH good mail yesterday! I got a PACKAGE from Sam ( wooo! I havent watched your movie yet, because my computer is away on vacation, but I'm excited nonetheless...besides the card made me LAUGH OUT LOUD!) and I got a rather long letter from Brett ( who is now in his final stage at Ranger School..in case you're wondering..) and I got my Premiere Magazine ( which will keep me entertained at work this morning!). Yay! More celebration for me!

Later on I went out to eat with lovely lovely people who were all really excited for me ( nothing like SHARING ones excitement! ) and who entertained me ALL through dinner...afer which I rushed to pick my sister up for a movie. We went and saw The Lake House, which we thought was a GREAT romantic movie...and we both gasped at the same time ( loudly) and no one else in the theatre did...which was rather embarrassing yet very very funny. And of course-we disected the movie all the way home ( which, is my personal favorite part of ALL movie going experiences)...I'm pretty sure no one laughs as hard as Anna and I do.

Thus ended my totally superb day.

This morning I woke up early because of a funkified dream and went and had my coffee at Java Jacks early so I could read the Financial Times and still have time to get to work early so I could write my Gusher here for you...

I just want to let everyone know that you can be ASSURED of details concerning my job...but since its all rather a "fluid" concept at this point...I'm going to wait until I KNOW this for certain about details before I go getting your hopes up ( or, rather, MY hopes up..) but I PROMISE there will be plenty more details and corresponding gushing to come in the future!

Today, I am offering my services to my dearest family, Thomas and Katie, who are moving into THE most adorable house ever! ( I cant BELIEVE, I am old enough to have FRIENDS that not only get married, have children, but also BUY HOUSES!) I'm so excited for them....I've never seen a house that was SO perfect for two people...

June 16, 2006


I love it!

turn the page...

Last night, I got out my journal and realized I was on the LAST page and therefore I must begin a new one!

WOOOO! new journal funnnnn!

And the best part? My very first entry in this new journal was a runon-sentence of praise.


Yes, friends, it seems I will finally be able to do a job that incorporates what I learned at Uni ( *gasp* does that actually HAPPEN!?). I woke up this morning with a GRIN on my face!

Who CARES about my kidney stone ( which is actually feeling a million times better...maybe its gone.)! Evil Dog was quiet last night...

Seriously, I'm so totally grateful about all the prayers and the outcome and the future and the present that I honestly cant think of anything else to say.

Details are coming...

(first I have to give my two weeks notice! eek!)

June 15, 2006

pitiful me.

Earlier this week I sent out an email to some special friends...I asked them to pray for a specific day, but basically even as I was writing the email I was thinking, "But, I feel so good about it! Why should I bother them?"
But, I bothered them nonetheless...and can I just say.....I shudder to wonder what today would hold if I DIDNT have prayers on all sides?

Last night...
I got a kidney stone....( actually, I still have it now, its not FULL ON HORRIBLE but its pretty painful, and its pretty uncomfortable and hard to think straight)
I went home and took drugs and went into a troubled sleep....
12:30 in the morning I am awakened by none other than evil dog. Evil dog is not just barking...evil dog is CRYYING. For thirty minutes evil dog crys...she's standing on the sidewalk right under my window...she's not even tied up, its like she was just tossed outside....
What do you do in a situation like that?
Well, I dont know...but *I* cried.
I was in pain.
I was drugged.
Evil Dog was crying LOUDLY.

Finally, I'd had enough.

I climbed out of my bed...all drugged and woosy and I went and banged on Evil Neighbors door.
I kid you not.
Now, looking back I blame it squarly on the drugs.
But, unfortunately there is no story to tell...Evil Neighbor wasnt even HOME.

I assessed the situation while Evil Dog growled at my feet ( STUPID EVIL DOG I COULD HAVE KICKED YOU!!!!)
and then I got in my car and drove to my parents and crawled into their guest bed at 1am.

And that is how I got to be here...in my polka dotted PJ paints and my messy hair...thinking about all the things I WAS going to do today to prepare for my all important meeting at 5:30 this evening...but realizing all I REALLY hope at this point is that the PAIN doesnt get worse.

Honestly, readers, I'm FED UP. I cried a lot last night, not because of the pain...but the sheer un-fairness of it...I seem to have kidney stones WAY too much! I drink SOOOO much water, at LEAST 3 liters a day, and from all tests that doctors have done on me, everything else about me is normal.
I'm just TIRED. I'm TIRED of them just POPPING up at veeeeery bad times.

I honestly feel like things are going to go ok this evening still...but I still worry, I worry about what COULD happen between now and then.
And....I'm just tired. And this stupid things hurts.

After reading this post, Katie called me to give me the "rest of the story"...Apparently she was awake too during the whole dog dissaster ( of course! who could sleep through THAT!) and heard me leave the apartment...she then had a moment of panic when the barking stopped for a few moments. Her thoughts:
"Oh no! Abigail's drugged up and has KILLED the dog!"

Unfortunately, this was not the case and the barking continued until 1:30...when finally in sheer desparation Katie called the police. Turns out Evil Neighbor wasnt home AT ALL...and the Police ended up giving Evil Dog to the downstairs neighbors, to take in until she returned, they then left a note for Evil Neighbor ( I hope it was harsh!) ...this morning Katie went to work to see that Evil Dog was back home ( and outside of course) happily feeding the Spawns of Satan ( bless her heart, no wonder the dog was so upset, being kept from her puppies like that!) and the note was still attached to Evil Neighbors door...even though she was obviously home.

Thus endeth yet another saga relating to Evil Dog and Evil Neighbor

June 14, 2006

l love you

I've never been in love, so you must realize this is just a HYPOTHESIS...But I'm pretty sure I will be far more loving and a better person ALL AROUND if you buy me coffees...and I say this as though its really something special because my love languages ( as in the ones that I really react well to...) do not include "acts of kindness" or "gifts".

Seriously, I've said this many times I know...but you could WRITE me a letter or TELL me I'm super cool or hang out with me for an hour... and I will be as happy as if you went out and bought me lunch and dropped it off at my door...actually I'd be MORE happy. Not, that I dont like lunch...that's just the way I am.
BUT, I've decided coffee doesnt count.
Coffee is equal to any words of love or any time spent. Whhhhhy? you might ask? Well, because (and I dont know this for sure, but I'll just make it up) I think coffee releases some sort of "happy cemical" in my brain.

My Mommy just brought my Clartin and she brought me a Latte too! Oooooh, sweetness.

Today's going to be a goooood day. My grandfather sold his house. Fantastic.

procrastination via the internet

So, as you may well remember my computer died on Saturday and thus when I am at home I am not on the internet AT ALL.
Now, for those of you who know about "the sticker challenge" know that I am trying very very hard to stay off the internet ( 15 minutes max)-but, even when I do that, I find that I can still spend a goodly amount of time doing other stuff on my computer...games....photos...time disappears.
Just to give you an idea of HOW much time disappears I've read THREE books ( I'm now on my fourth) since Saturday night...ummm....whoa.


The saddest thing is that I KNOW when I get my computer back, I'll go RIGHT back to my old ways. *sigh*

So, to poor Aaron who, from what I hear ( via his ever talkative sister...hehehe) has a TON of stuff on his plate at the moment...I feel his pain. Reading other peoples blogs is faaaaar superior than doing ANYTHING even REMOTELY constructive. Yet, while I feel strongly that, myself...and all the others that fall into the procrastinating via the internet category, could use some help...I dont plan on making it easier by stopping the blogging action.

Thus, "thoughts of Abigail in the last 24 hours":

I slept horribly last night...I had all sorts of silly things on my mind...I laid there, and laid there...and finally I gave in and prayed for all the people who'd been on my mind throughout the day.... and boooooom I was out like a light. HA! Take that you stupid devil!

I'm TOTALLY allergic to something at work today...I mean SERIOUSLY allergic. I actually called my Mommy to see if she'd bring me a claritin ( allergy meds)-because looking at a ten hour day of water/itchy eyes....grossness in my throat....sneezing like CRAZY...well, I just COULDNT face it!!! On that note, I loooove it when my mom is out of school in the summer...I know it makes Papa happier...and she seems to be so relaxed, and she reads tons of books that she then tells you about-it kind of rubs off on you when you're around her. Of course, she's like that even when she's working too...

When I left home this morning Evil Dog had a Spawn of Satan HANGING off of her...I mean, I'm sorry, but it was FAR to early to see THAT kinda business.


I am getting "this close" to buying Firefly on DVD...I mean, its in my shopping cart at Amazon.com and everything....seriously, I want it BADLY.


In other news, I havent come up with a new poll question...sorta running low on ideas here...anyone have any suggestions?!

June 13, 2006

is anyone suprised...

But, do you think I'm HIGH STRUNG!?! hahah

You Are an Espresso

At your best, you are: straight shooting, ambitious, and energetic

At your worst, you are: anxious and high strung

You drink coffee when: anytime you're not sleeping

Your caffeine addiction level: high

allusions of the past

So, I left work at 1 yesterday...It was SO INSANELY HOT all day that while I tried to run some errands I ended up just going home and sitting in the dark reading for a good portion of the day...and to think I was honestly thinking this summer might not be half bad (heat wise). HA!
I was half wrong.

So anywhoooo...I went to the library got some classic childrens books ( I'm kinda going through a phase of re-reading books I read when I was 10-13 years of age...) and spent most of the day with them..
You know what I find FASCINATING?! Is how these books have subconsciously influenced me...honestly, I'll be reading along and I think...whoooooaaa, so THAT'S where that particular "dream", "ideal", "value" came from...or at least, that's how it was re-inforced.

(Oh, and just so you know, yesterday was spent reading the later years of the "Betsy, Tacy" Series by Maud Lovelace.)

In a lot of ways, however, I wonder about all the OTHER girls that also read Little Women and Anne of Green Gables and the Betsy Tacy Books who ended up NOT wanting to be a writer when they grew up!!
I mean, I totally related to Jo, Anne and Betsy ...and I just wonder about the other girls that somehow were more orginal than I and actually came up with an alternate passion than writing. Hahaha!
Of course, I gotta admit to you, the other major draw of these stories ( as a little girl, and even just a TAD today) was the romantic plot line...and I was never a fan of Professor Baur (booooring)...or, for that matter, Gilbert ( once he got over the scarlett fever and we knew that he'd end up with Anne, well, he was rather flat.) and so maybe I didnt buy into EVERYTHING the books sold
...but JOE (Betsy's significant other)...well, he was a newspaper writer and for that he'll always be my favorite... he and Betsy quoting Shakespeare as they walk home from school and talking in literary allusions from Don Quixote...come ON! Who wouldnt like THAT?!

hehehe...I felt like SUCH a 14 year old girl! Getting all swoooooony. HAHA!

And speaking of THAT...I fell UP my stairs yesterday afternoon, with my hands full, no less...( it was really graceful you should have been there) and so I now have a totally cutesy bandaid on my right knee, courtesy of Katie...which also took me back to when I was 12 and totally wore bandaids ( or plasters if you live in an alternate country) as a FASHION statement.

I was soooo cool then.

Well, that's all from me...let's see if you guys can comment on a REAL post now?

June 12, 2006

weekend jazz..

hey kiddies...

Its been a while, or at least that's how I feel...in reality even if I took a four day break I'd still be posting more than most of you...

Main reason for the weekend emptiness?
My computer died. meeeeeh...my poor baby! Ironic since Old Baby only started getting sad after FIVE YEARS...and NEW Baby dies after a month?!
noooo gooooood.

So, it'll probably be a few days till I have a home computer again. Sadness.
I was also away from Friday night to Saturday late...which was really great for me.

I cant tell you the difference it makes just to LEAVE town-even for a day. I didnt even THINK about ANYTHING for a WHOLE DAY.

And for someone who thinks a heck of a lot. That was super.

I had good fun with Chara and Christa...did a bit of shopping, I bought a new journal. I realized it was the first time in 5 years that I've bought a journal for myself. It was kind of sad, since I've always loved using a journal from a specific person- it means for a good five or six months of think about that person everyday...ahhh...well, times change.

Another, suprise joy of my weekend was the DRIVING. I havent driven long distances ( more than ten minutes at a time) in a while. I gotta say, the drive to Centerville was really very pretty and I sang praise music at the top of my lungs and it was a positive JOY.

Other events of the weekend...Graduation "reception" for Amy...movie at the Hibbards...Church was especially good on Sunday...watched Fargo on Sunday afternoon because Evil Dog was barking so loudly and I didnt have my computer to play music to drown out the sound...blasted dog...no nap. Boo.

That brings you up to speed on my weekend. Now for this week.

arent the boots CUTE?!

Your Inner European is Italian!

Passionate and colorful.
You show the world what culture really is.

June 09, 2006

feedback rocks my little world.

I got a reply-phonecall!

I couldnt be happier just to have SOMETHING to go on....

Now I just have to wait till the NEXT big thing...meeeh...

I'm gonna go out of town and have fun now...

I called it.

Ummmm....yeeeeeah...This is unbelievable!


Was this week long or was it just me?! Seriously, insanely long...I dont even know why....oh wait.


And that is exactly how the week has been, I'll go about doing normal stuff and I'll forget for a second that I'm waiting..and then...I'll remember...and I'll check my email and I'll once again find it empty.
Why dont people return emails anymore?! Do you not like me?!!
If I was the kind of girl that actually thought dating was cool...I imagine this is what it would be like...ewww! hahaha! no wonder I dont like it! hahahah!
Why would you put yourself through this kind of pain and suffering for some GUY?!

So, just incase you arent into subtleties let me just make it clear that I'm NOT talking about dating...no, instead I'm going through this pain and suffering for something a little less personable....and I'd assume that the rewards are less too...but then, I wouldnt really know....

Annnnyway, enough about that.

At the last minute I decided to go out of town tonight...a much needed girly-weekend with the Dudley Sisters seems like just what this week ordered.
I mean, seriously!!! Hit reply! How hard can that BEEEEEEEE?!

That's it! I'm going to call you instead...I've waited all week and now I'm going to be clingy and needed! that's right...Welcome to Abigail Hard Ball.

Just kidding.

I didnt stop talking about it did I? You thought I'd move on from my Mysterious complaining but you were rather wrong....tricked ya.

Now you know how my week has really been...a perfect example of my mind.....

Honestly, though my Bible readings last night were really encouraging and I actually felt GOOD about making this call this morning...I think I can do this...I really really think I can.......meeeeeeeh.

edit: Darn. I hate secretaries....I always end up only getting to them...does no one take calls anymore? I want to cry....

June 08, 2006

music to my ears

I smell way good.
Honeysuckle body wash.
I thought it was appropriate for summer.
Rock on.

I can put my hair in two braids now. It looks cute I guess, but that’s beside the point. The POINT is that it is finally getting longer! Wooo.
Apparently hair DOES grow.

In other news, I re-discovered Snow Patrol today…their CD Final Straw has two really good songs: Run, Chocolate.
Songs that have one word titles are interesting.
I remembered that I really liked the song Chocolate, when watching the teaser for the movie “The Last Kiss” –which you can ONLY find on Zach Braff’s new website…how I find out about these things is beside me…
On that note ( hahaah! Good one, Abigail!) ,
I also realized I was missing some music from my computer…as in, they didn’t get transferred from Old Baby to New Baby.
Luckily, I had made a CD for my car with both of songs on it…so now they’re back where they belong.
And then all my songs lived happily ever after.

Does somone wanna help me out here? I made you guys a little imix of the songs I'm listening to today, and yet for some reason the link doesnt work-so you'll just have to copy and paste for now...until I figure out the problem :-(


Bandwagon of goodness

The new trend, it seems, is to post from Spurgeon's Morning and Evening...He's seriously been on a ROLL the past few weeks! ;-)

"There fell down many slain, because the war was of God."
1 Chronicles 5:22

Warrior, fighting under the banner of the Lord Jesus, observe this verse with holy joy, for as it was in the days of old so is it now, if the war be of God the victory is sure. The sons of Reuben, and the Gadites, and the half tribe of Manasseh could barely muster five and forty thousand fighting men, and yet in their war with the Hagarites, they slew "men, an hundred thousand," "for they cried to God in the battle, and he was entreated of them, because they put their trust in him." The Lord saveth not by many nor by few; it is ours to go forth in Jehovah's name if we be but a handful of men, for the Lord of Hosts is with us for our Captain. They did not neglect buckler, and sword, and bow, neither did they place their trust in these weapons; we must use all fitting means, but our confidence must rest in the Lord alone, for he is the sword and the shield of his people. The great reason of their extraordinary success lay in the fact that "the war was of God." Beloved, in fighting with sin without and within, with error doctrinal or practical, with spiritual wickedness in high places or low places, with devils and the devil's allies, you are waging Jehovah's war, and unless he himself can be worsted, you need not fear defeat. Quail not before superior numbers, shrink not from difficulties or impossibilities, flinch not at wounds or death, smite with the two-edged sword of the Spirit, and the slain shall lie in heaps. The battle is the Lord's and he will deliver his enemies into our hands. With steadfast foot, strong hand, dauntless heart, and flaming zeal, rush to the conflict, and the hosts of evil shall fly like chaff before the gale.

Stand up! stand up for Jesus!
The strife will not be long;
This day the noise of battle,
The next the victor's song:
To him that overcometh,
A crown of life shall be;
He with the King of glory
Shall reign eternally.

June 06, 2006

movie review

Went and saw "The Break Up" tonight.

It wasnt funny.

Jennifer Aniston wore cute clothes.

Vince Vaughn was fat.

I was uncomfortable several times, because in fact, I do NOT like to watch people fight.

There was a Loud Laugher in the audience.

I went with two highschool girls ( my sister's sister-in-laws) and they texted and fixed their hair the whole time.

I found myself thanking my LUCKY stars I'm not a teenager in this day in age. Multitasking like that is incredible ;-)

I refused...

"I refuse to get out of bed until the funk is gone." ~ Abigail, at 7am this morning.

And that's why I am still here in the horizonal position several hours later. I dont know WHAT is going on in the air....but Evil Dog has been driving me CRAZY the last few days. The barking seems to have gotten far far worse.....this morning it started at 7. which, granted, is a little better than 6...but when you were up rather late the night before and you set your alarm for the conservative hour of 8:50 ( yes, I like odd numbers, what of it?) I was NOT PLEASED.
That, added to the revelation that the funk from last night had held on through sleep and was still with me when the dog pryed my eyes open...well, no good.

So, I made the rash ( not really) decision to go to work later...and I've been lying here ever since. A good little prayer/journal time was helpful...a reading over my journal of past months was helpful too...and now I'm feeling much much much better

But, since I dont really wanna "talk about it", we'll talk about something ELSE that just came to mind. : I have 77 blogs on my bloglines list...seventy-seven! Crazy huh?! Of course, lots of those arent updated very often...but, with that many you just HAVE to put them into categories...which is how I ended up with three very nice little folders:

"The friends"-53 blogs...I wouldnt necessarily consider all of these people "friends"...but I actually KNOW these people...I've either met them, or I've come to have real conversations with them...you know...I definitely know that they are who they say they are ( something that's kinda difficult in the age of the internet).

"The gossip"-4 blogs....basically pop culture blogs, and overheardinnewyork and overheardintheoffice....keeps me up to date on what's "going on in the world" when I'm stuck in my dark room at work ;-)

"The unknowns"-18 blogs...this is where it gets interesting! I dont even KNOW how I came across some of these blogs, but they've been endless entertainment at work, and they've provided many an interesting conversation and story...I really have become a fan of blogs in all their different forms and these 18 blogs are varying in talent and topic...yet, they are all addicting as chocolate on a very bad day...I hope they dont run out! Some of them are anonoymous blogs...some arent....some "say" they arent anonoymous but I suspect that they are made up personas...whatever the case, it doesnt matter to me-there is a person sitting at a computer thinking these words up somewhere ,and I'm totally willing to read...at least for a while.

So, in saying that, for the first time EVER I'm going to actually QUOTE one of my "unknown" blogs...I do it with some trepidation because while some people are perfectly FINE admitting that they are "lurkers"...I like to remain silent. I like to just read and then go away. I dont even read these blogs comments...i dont care what other people I dont know have to say in the form of comments! hehehe. But, today, I'm breaking my rule because I LOVED this line so much! And I've caught myself thinking it sometimes, at first I was just going to quote it without giving credit..but then, I thought that wouldnt be nice, would it, to not give credit where credits due?....

...Those friendships are the ones that feed our imaginations; the girlfriend equivalent of wedding fantasies, where the groom takes a backseat to a group of phenomenal bridesmaids. from Almost Literary.

I actually laughed when I read this sentence! I've never been one of those girls to plan her wedding-oh SURE, I will totally engage in such wedding planning conversations when they come up, but I never sit by myself and think about it...it seems pointless...afterall, I plan to give my own HHB ( hot holy boy) some sort of say when it comes to marrying me....and how said marrying will be pulled off. BUT, there is ONE thing that I DO sometimes catch myself thinking about...and that is, how I wish I could have ALL my dearest girls at my wedding....and do you realize I have a LOT of dearest girls?!
If I had a perfect world ( which means MY way)...and this is just at the MOMENT! Just think how more might be added by the time I actually GET married ( 10 years from now seems longish doesnt it? hahah)
But, if I was to do a head count of the whos who, today...I'd have EIGHT attendants! I've always scofted at weddings with HUGE wedding parties...but seriously! I have that many people I'd really really want in my wedding...I guess its good that I probably wont get my way, since most of these girls live overseas... since I'd have to marry someone who either had lots and lots of brothers and friends....orrrrr, ( and much more practical) it all stays happily in my fantasy world...where I plan weddings for only one purpose: to have a really great party where I have ALL my dear ones around me in one very happy place!

June 05, 2006

I'm not so crazy!

So, when praying for some dear ones tonight, I remembered a poem that I wanted to share with them...and on my way to find it I came across THIS little gem! Oh how perfect! That's exactly my state at the moment...I had wondered how it could be possible for me to be praying for contentment in some things and then praying desparately for discontentment in others! Yet, there it was perfectly put, reassuring me that I'm not the only one...and also pushing me to pray for just that very paradox of peace and battle....resting yet persuing....

Teach me contentment, Lord, whate'er my lot,
keeping my eyes on You in trust,
knowing Your love is ture, Your way is just.

Teach discontentment, Lord, with what I am;
daily striving, growing daily nearer,
finding You are daily closer, dearer.

Contented, Lord, yet discontented make me,
both together working, blending
all in Your own glory ending.


something is going on! I can feeeeeeel it! Its like the day is going along all normal like and then all of a sudden you feel it...its this UNREST...or FRICTION or SOMETHING!

And then you talk to several people and you realize its DEFINITELY not in your head! *sigh* Its time to pray.
Lord, help in my weakness...help me to pray!


oooooooh maaaaaaaaaaaaaan. Remind me NEVER EVER to combine the following:

1. two cups of coffee
2. thirty-odd cherries
4. An inanely boring day at work.

I swear either I'm going to really and truly scream....oooooooor I suppose I could just post a little somethin' somethin' here.


In other "not getting any feedback" news...I cant BELIEVE no one else felt like they should comment on the fabulouso picturo below-o. I mean, come ON, its a classic....luckily I do NOT actually post anything to get YOUR feedback. So there.

Here's a great opportunity to give the final poll results and move on to a new poll.

44% of you consider yourself an outspoke Christian
44% of you consider yourself a Christian but not necessarily outspoken
9% of you consider yourself someone who just lives by good moral values
3% of you consider yourself someone who just goes with what makes them happy.
0% of you practice some other faith.

Actually, I'm not really suprised...when I glance quickly over the quality of my posts MOST of them refer to my faith in some way shape or form. I often, in passing, wonder if it confuses or doesnt relate to my readers...but only in passing because, well, this is MY blog and I blog about what's going on with ME. My relationship with God is pretty much the top thing I think about and therefore the top thing I blog about. So, I guess it makes sense that most of you, at least understand where I'm coming from when I talk about my struggles and revelations and all other things relating to my walk with God. I actually have to wonder what the 12% think about the things that I write...so take this as an open invitation to let me know...either in comments or via email.


Let me think about a new poll question for a mo. I'll get back to ya....

June 04, 2006

metaphorically speaking...

So, I was going through pictures today, just for fun...and I came across this one...
And it totally made me laugh, and I was reminded of moments like the one caught in the picture...totally silly....but totally great at the same time. I loved my time in Cutting Edge. It was truly truly special and wonderful.

But, then, if you dont mind me getting all cheesy..Looking at this picture I realized that things had really not changed much at all....I am still "super close" to this person...Distance and circumstances may keep us apart, but as SOON as we start praying ( even if it IS just over the phone)...It is as though we are right there in the same room, granted...maybe not in this particular position...its kinda uncomfortable after a while...but it IS warm... hahahaha!!!



The "usual" surround me on my bed....they are the wall of my castle...
Water bottle
Daily Light
One Year Bible

This place makes me all together happy....

No, MY space

I really hate all things myspace. Its just awful awful...

BUT, I DOOOO like looking at peoples pictures. Its beyond fascinating.

If only I was a stalker...

June 03, 2006

the definition of: wrong side of bed

I HATE that blasted DOG! And, I cant wait till its GONE! FOREVER.
Oh, yes, this morning at SIX THIRTY it started barking...and it would bark...and pause...just long enough for me to relax...go back to sleep...then




you get the idea...it was HORRIBLE and during the silences I would lie all tense like in my bed, thinking about ways to kill animals.

So, you wanna know the BEST PART?!
Apparently, Evil Neighbor is getting 100 dollars a PIECE for the little spawn of Satans ( there are four...and they are cute...because they are puppies...and all puppies are cute, but one day they will grow up and show their evil evil gross mix-breed-nasty colors! oh yessss they will!)....ANNNND that's not the best part!!!
Evil Neighbor is selling the Evil Dog as well!!! SHOOOOOOCCCCKKKKKING!
It turns out, that my suspicions are true: Evil Neighbor is not capable of loving anything...therefore if she can sell you for a few hundred dollars. Well, PACK YOUR BAGS.

Oh, yes, dont get me wrong...I am CELEBRATING the fact that Evil Dog is not long for this world ( the world being anywhere near me.) Its just that I'm a little put off to know that if I'd just PAID OFF Evil Neighbor long ago...then I wouldnt have to listen to that STUPID HEIGHT CHALLENGED DOG yap at ungodly hours for 9 solid months!!! And, the thought that the dog I was hearing at 6:30 this morning was not a dog that was loved..but, instead, a dog that was "worth a few packs of ciggies" ...well, it made it all the worse somehow.

So, finally, I drug myself out of bed around seven...and drove myself straight to Java Jacks. Which brings me to my NEXT beef:

Ok, I've held my tongue long enough! But its time for me to officially complain about Left-Wing-Elitist-Dude, (aka the morning coffee maker at Java Jacks). Now, I reeeeally hate this guy.
Ok, Suuuuure, HATE is a strong word, but when we are talking about me PRE-coffee-ed well, then...you realize its not that strong.
SO, anyway, the first strike against LWEG was when I was trying to cut back on my morning caffine ( which lasted a total of three days and ended the second day that I had to get up before seven.) So, to help myself during the withdraws I went to JavaJacks to have a decaf coffee.. so I ordered from LWEG, "I'd like a Grande Decaf Skinny Latte"

LWEG: "You mean, a Why Bother?"
Me: "Excuse me?"
LWEG: "Well, it basically has NOTHING in it."

Oooooh weeeeelll.....EEEEXXXXXUUUUUUSE ME for coming to ask you to make a NOTHING! To PAY YOU an over priced amount to make me NOTHING!!!

What I WANTED to say ( but was not quick enough at the time to think of...because, let's face it...I hadnt had any caffine in DAYS!) was, "Well, then why should *I* bother PAYING for it then?! CHOMP!"

( the chomp was me biting his head clean off.)

So, since that day, I've been LWEG Dude's private enemy...and I've found that not only is he RUDE...but he also makes Latte's INSANELY HOT....yes, today...it took THIRTY MINUTES for my latte to cool down to where I didnt burn my tongue...THIRTY.
Which, MEANS that my tongue is totally burned and I have NO taste buds left...because, we ALL know I cant wait that long to drink my coffee!
ANNDDDD....Mister LWEG also puts waaaay too much foam in my latte...its practically a CAPPUCCINO....and I DID NOT ORDER A CAPPUCCINO....and I havent ordered a cappuccion in yeeeears! SO WHY BOTHER WITH YOU MISTER ELITIST?!?!

Yes, I didnt even BROOCH the subject of his elitist ways...it makes me too angry. But, let me just say THIS: I really dislike people on EITHER side of the middle...left OR right ( whichever you decide) that look DOWN upon, PITY, DESPISE, DISRESPECT, SOME OTHER RUDE VERB, those that who do not believe exactly the same way that you do. How very close minded of you! How very hypocritical of you Mister Leftist Dude...you give Librals everywhere a very bad name and I dislike you for it.

Ahhhh....I'm feeling much better, but I definitely think I need to go to the gym after work....maybe sweat off some of this agression ;-) hehehe

June 01, 2006

a post...

First, I have to say, at the moment my mind is a whirl of activity...I'm not particularly happy when I'm like this. I like peace.

But, there's a few reasons for this unrest...and one is a possible impending major change in my life. I cant say more at this point ( cryptic I know!) for the obvious reason that this is a PUBLIC blog, and while I avoid blog etiquette most of the time, this time I'm gonna play by the rules. ;-)
However, I DO really covet your prayers at this time, dear readers....I could really use some guidance, wisdom, and above all PEACE!

On that note, a song that never fails to stir my heart just came on...ahhhh....

"I see heaven before me, angels passing around me.
Here I stand in awe of your beauty,
Captured by Your holiness.

I see heaven before me...
Lift up your eyes all of Heaven's in worship,
Angels rejoice and the clouds will be filled with the wonder of your name.
The train of His robe fills the temple with glory, heavenly hosts fall before Him in worship
crying holy, holy, holy Lord God Almighty."

( I know this might sound morbid, but I totally want this song played at my funeral. )

P.S. Just got an email from a very wise friend who told me to "go to bed". Smart. Think I'll do that now. Thanks.

picture perfect

I'm a mess!! I just cried at work! Dont worry, nothing bad...in fact, if you rank them as tears go...they were the "pretty" kind...you know, knot in your throat....tears tickling your eyes..nothing more.

But, I'm telling you, if I'd been at home I would have TOTALLY let them flow. There is no shame in THAT game.

So, the question is whhhhhy the tears so early in the morning?!

Well, its three fold.
And it began with a "Kodak Gallery" email from Kristy. 176 pictures of her holiday in Bali ( how GRAND is the internet?!) . Everything from airport pictures and plane pictures...grand scenery pictures, to locals at their outdoor market, to Kristy's sister's wedding at a GORGEOUS resort.

My thoughts on the matter, in my favorite writing style ( stream of thought):

-I LOVE to travel....I WANT to travel. WHEEEEEN will I get to travel again?! WHERE can I go?! I want to go EVERYwhere!! I want to experience new cultures and see new people....
WHHHHHY was I made this way!? Other people seem so CONTENT to have "normal" lives! And I'm not even saying THIS life is THAT normal...my life is great...but I WANT TO TRAVEL. Some might shake their heads...call me spoiled ( I am!)...I've gone to more places than MOST people! I really have! I'm lucky, I'm grateful. Its been almost exactly a year since the last time I went overseas. Most of the time I feel like I'm fine with that.
But, time and time again I get restless...

-Pictures of Kristy, ooooh! I miss my Kristy! She really is so special! Oh course, we arent as close as we once were, I havent talked to her in ages...that's just natural when you live continents away...but that doesnt take away the Spiritual bond that will always be there. I want the best for her, I want to cheer her on in whatever she undertakes...from the very depths of my soul I want her to not just be HAPPY! But walk RIGHTLY! ( because, that's more important!)And really, deep down, I wonder...will I ever be able to give her a HUG again!?

-Pictures of weddings...ummm....I admit, this is when the tears came. And I was a bit shocked with myself! "Abigail? Are you CRYING?!," I said in my head.
"Ummm...yeah...I think so!"
Who knows why...i dont even KNOW Kristy's sister...never met her, wouldnt know her if she ran into me on the street ( wouldnt THAT be insane?!). Whatever the case...I cried. Because weddings make me cry.

OK, back to work...

good mooooorning

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger.
You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause.
You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you!
A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.