August 09, 2005

deflated balloon

I am really tired. Its probably because I havent gotten my recommended daily allotment of sleep the past two nights, and then the thought of working solid for the next...however long.
But I think its also because I am Spiritually tired....soooo much has happened in the last 24 hours that it has made my heart hurt-and not in the " I ate two much italian in a quick fashion" type of hurt. Yet, even though, when I look at all of the disappointments, worries, the urgent prayer needs that have just come in such a quick machine gun fashion...I am thankful that I do not feel hopeless about it all. I know that it is all in the hands of God. The fact that I havent just ranaway from home is a perfect example of His help. Seriously.

In fact, I have been greatly encouraged by two things this week ( haha and its only tuesday!) one is that conversations I have had with dear friends in NZ via email have been so VERY important to me in my day to day life....I have actually seen an event coming and thought, in great surprise, "this is JUST what I was talking to Louise about!" and then later..."This is JUST what I was talking to Tabitha about!"
Amazing how lessons and help can be reinforced!
Also, this past weekend was NO walk in the park. I was definitely struggling against myself more than anything...while the past two days have definitely been outward struggles. I know that doesnt SOUND encouraging, but it really helped me in my inward struggles to just leave them be. To leave them in His hands, knowing perfectly well that they can rest there until need be. So often I have the tendency to obssess about my own even though things have been tough, I guess I can be grateful it slapped me with the "nonselfish" stick and woke me up from my introspective ways.

Edit: I meant to put this on here when I was writing this post but I forgot...
this chapter in corinthians said it ALL today!

No comments: