Heavy

I have to admit, I am writing this with a heavy heart tonight! I cant believe I have come to the end of my "golden birthday month" for tomorrow is my birthday...and tonight is my last chance to write about some of the many many people that have inspired and influenced my life....Its really been such a blessing to review these dear souls who have impacted me so so deeply...but the greatest delight is I havent even begun to scratch the surface of all the many dear ones who I want to write about. Seriously, as I sit her I look longingly down and a whole list of people that I havent gotten to...who mean just as much as these I have named... Hopefully, I will be able to continue this tradition every year-because I have a feeling...I can continue on for years to come, listing all those who I am truly grateful that I have in my life. Seriously, while this exercise has been a delight to me, a little part of me has felt a bit out of control and unworthy, because I keep thinking of others that I want to mention, that I want to know how much they mean to me...ultimately, I guess I just need to learn the lesson to not wait until a certain "set aside time" to tell people how thankful I am for them...hopefully I can do better at letting people know their value to me each day...its something I need to work on.

So until next time....

Tabitha

Tabitha was one of my other "answers to prayer" during my first year as a House Tutor...I prayed for the residents that God gave me...and He came through with several delightful girls. Tabitha was one of them. Tabitha Trott...isnt that a great name? I love it. And my first impressions of Tabitha were very endearing as well....she was "readable" as I use to say when I was little...she appreciated Words...and she had an "another world" air about her, she was truly above so much of the silliness that went on during the first few weeks of Uni....but, in many ways my first impression of Tabitha were barely scratching the surface. And she is truly a friend who I feel I am constantly getting new delightful layers from.
Tabitha was another one of the nonchristians that came along to Lydia and my life group that year...and she also challenged me with HARD questions...I distinctly remember feeling so very helpless at the hand of those questions. But ultimately, again, God taught me about His grace. Tabitha was saved that year as well...and her life is now a living testimony of Salvation. She is TRULY alive. In the next year, Tabitha and my relationship went from House tutor-to-Resident into House Tutor-to-House Tutor...once again she was an answer to prayer...having a fellow Christian in the sometimes Anti-Christian House Tutor group was TRULY a blessing....Even though I had already dealt with the challenges of being "alone" as a Christian in such a group, Tabitha really taught me a lot about being "seperate"...it seemed that that "other world" air that I noticed in her first year...which was more of a "fantasy world" type place...had truly transformed into a Heavenly world...and that world seems to have gotten brighter and brighter and more and more clear in Tabitha. I treasured my talks with her last year...as she worked out the little bits of her Faith that she hadnt figured out yet, it was interesting to see her decision to be a Catholic, and while she has now taken a different path, I could see the importance it had in her life then....here was a part of the Christian faith that I dont fully agree with...and yet I also was able to completely look past that and see Tabitha's love for God. Yes, God taught me right then and there...where to look when looking for someones relationship with God, not at their church, at their knowledge, at their actions necessarily...no, instead look directly at the Heart. For there the truth Lay...Tabitha's Heart was the Lords...and it was a delight to see.
Tabitha also taught me about little acts of kindness....I've always had trouble doing these types of things...sending cards ( I always forget)...doing chores for people ( I forget again...or I'm "busy"...or lets face it, down right lazy)....but Tabitha has truly been a testiment to me of acts of kindness done in the right heart. Her little homemade cards when I hadnt gotten mail from the states in WEEEKS, literally saved me from pity-parties and homesickness...her cups of tea, and little helpful gestures made being sick on Rounds...or having to study plus deal with nasty residents bareable.
And, this past year...when most of interaction with friends has been via email, Tabitha has been, by far, the MOST faithful....and let me tell you...Her emails have not just been a nice reminder of a friend-they have been SUCH lessons! Seriously, sometimes I think how others are missing out of her amazing writing talent-but then, I'm just grateful I get to see some of it! ;-) Her emails are little treasures to me, tiny windows into heaven...she can take a rain puddle and discribe it in such a way that you see the ways of Sin in the word in a new light...she can take a Candle and tell about it in such a way that I see Christ with brand new eyes. I am in awe of the beauty that God has put in Tabitha...that just seems to shine brighter and brighter with each passing day. I have found comfort in her struggles and encouragment in her victories in these emails...and above all I have seen how God has spoken great wisdom into her life. I mentioned in my last post about watching Thida go from a wee babe...and so I have had the priviledge to see Tabitha transform as well. God has been so gracious to let me be a part of her life, I am truly honored. For here is a women that God will do great things. I have to go back to that "other world" statement I've made twice already, I think once again it applies to Tabitha's future...She is faithful to her Father's work and i am continually inspired and encouraged by her. I would truly not be who I am today without this dear friend of mine...