April 11, 2006

the attitude

So, its offical, I am fighting a seemingly loosing battle against a very bad attitude.
I am stressed and worried and yet at the same time I am angry and bitter that I am stressed and worried, because I feel like I SHOULDNT be...and I blame it entirely on JUDGING, OPINIONATED people...and yet, at the same time...I realize I'm probably MAKING UP half of the judging...and I'm reading into the opinions...and basically my worry is because I'm not being TRUSTING...and my stress is because I'm not GIVING UP my WORRY...and so, yes, my bad attitude is offically my OWN FAULT.

So, here's the deal....I thought I was doing ok because I'd said, like, this teeny tiny prayer that went something like, " I need help." once in the past three days...and I've read my bible and done my quiet time...but it was at midnight and it was after a fullon stressful three hours of doing the very thing that's putting me on edge. So yeah, that's no good.

And yes, I realize its only a seemlingly loosing battle because I am NOT FIGHTING IT. And I havent stopped ( because I "didnt have the time") to REEEEALLY ask for help.

And I am here to tell you, it is NOT WORTH IT...to NOT take the time to sit down and start the fight against this..

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