June 25, 2006

Hopes up...

Watched the movie ( or part of it) Hope Floats with Anna tonight...we loooove this movie. Lots of reasons, but one that really stuck out to me this watching was how WELL they opitimized "texas at night"...I think it was the lighting...and the sound of crickets...but you can almost SMELL the heat and the humitity and just that....smell. The smell of little texas towns.
I really DO love Texas. I always will. No matter WHERE I am in the world, I'll always love Texas at night.

Anyway, that wasnt the point of this post...HOPE was the point. I was just talking to Emma on the phone-and I was talking about the various things in my life that are changing, the possible changes, and the things i WANT to change.
I realize in talking to her, that even with all my intentions not to-I have gotten my hopes up.

Normally I'm not BIG on getting my hopes up-but I have. And honestly, I dont even care. Because I really really want this to turn out! I dont think I've ever felt THIS excited about something...and this...optimistic.
Its weird.
I'm realizing just how MUCH I use pesimism to get me through life..."dont get your hopes up for anything..and it wont let you down."

Ummm...yeeeeeeah. That's one way to live, but its not a very happy way!

So, my hopes are officially "up" at the moment. I'll let you know how that works out for me...( remind me in about two weeks..if I havent mentioned it.)

So, in other news- I'm starting my last week of Radiology Action tomorrow. WOOOOO!
I'm praying that I leave it all on a happy note. It really has been a prime job, and I have already seen how God has used it for good in my life...and who knows how many other ways that I havent yet seen... I couldnt have ASKED for a better transition job! So, yes, seven more days ( in a row) and then I say we all celebrate ( next sunday night!) because I will officially be a BUM for the next month...or at least that's the plan. Though I'm hesitant to make ANY plans anymore...the past week and a half have really messed with my whole "Let's make a plan" mentality.


This weekend my blog has been thrust in my face MORE than once...I've questioned the MEANING of this baby. Do I share too much? Am I willing to accept that sooo many people know sooo much about me?
In a lot of ways, I feel strongly that I've been put here to be HONEST-that its GOOD for me to tell you what I feel, what I'm struggling with...what I'm happy about.
But, then, it often seems that people get this false sense of "closeness"...and while YOU maybe close to ME...I am NOT close to YOU....so you can see how it makes me a mite uncomfortable sometimes ( hahaha! I'm talking like Firefly! heheheeh).

Enough babbling, Abigail, go to bed!

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