January 20, 2011


I got very little sleep last night. And I cried at around 5am.
I mean, I cried because of lack of sleep, but also because of feelings of complete powerlessness of NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO.

I'm seriously angry about it to be honest. I mean, why won't someone just TELL ME how to help Ransom sleep. I mean, the little dude is miserable. And therefore so am I.

As far as I can tell he is not sick. Check that off the list.
As far as I can tell its not teething, because he's not drooling nearly as much, and doesn't seem to be biting on things or seem in pain. Check that off the list.
I thought it might have to do with TOO MUCH sleep, but then he woke up like 50 million times last night and wouldn't go back to sleep...so, well, I guess it could still have to do with too much sleep...but surely NOT ANY MORE?! Since the past three days he's hardly taken ANY naps at all and has had a minor meltdown around 4pm each day which says to me-not ENOUGH sleep not the other way around. So check that off the list.
Is he hungry? I thought possibly. So I started him in on rice cereal last night. And yet we had the WORST night we've had in AGES and I had to feed him TWICE during the night ( something that hasn't happened in months) just to calm him down. So I'd like to think that's not it either. Plus I've got the milk supply of a jersey cow ( yes, I know...good illustration. ha!) so how could he be hungry?!?
Is it the addition of being more active and self-aware to his life? Well, this one I think might be it. He can now fully get out of his swaddle and barely stays that way if I DO try and swaddle him. So, like I said in my last post I've been trying to just swaddle one arm down. And while this has made going to sleep a lot harder for him, its the staying asleep that I'm worried about. I mean, will he EVER get past the 45 sleep cycle-ending mark EVER again?!?!
Is it too much stimuli in the world around him and he's just not use to sleeping through it ?( incidentally I have the washer going and a dryer full of baby clothes with snaps on the ( aka the LOUDEST thing to dry in the WORLD) going right now and he's sleeping peacefully (FOR THE MOMENT ANYWAY).
So, I think I know the problem but how do we get passed it?! I've tried EVERYTHING to keep Ransom asleep and to put him back to sleep when he wakes up too early and nothing seems to be working.
Oh, and P.S. I've considered the fact that I was not supportive enough of my niece and her bad nap taking when I was in Texas for the holidays as a possible factor for the HELL that we are going through right now, and I've made a note of it. Thanks.

I would also like to take a moment now to say that I miss my friend Marie TERRIBLY right now because I could really use another mommy to commiserate with. :-(


Stacey said...

I know you probably don't want another list of things to try, but here it goes (just in case)...
1. Are you letting him cry it out? Even if it's an hour worth of crying? If he's obviously fed, changed, not hurting, etc... let him cry. It will be miserable for you, but after about three nights of crying it out, he should figure it out.
2. If the swaddle thing is serious issue, maybe try tying the swaddling to him so it won't come lose. Like, tie some ribbons around it horizontally.
3. Do you have a "wake time" in the morning. Set a time (with my kids it was usually 7am) that is your wake up in the morning time. It may need to be 6am, whatever, but pick one that will work. Start him on his schedule then. 6am, if he's still asleep, WAKE HIM UP. I know that sounds counter productive, but having a wake time every day will get him into a schedule. My day went like this with my kids, 7am (if they were still sleeping) I'd wake them up (yes, I set my alarm to wake me up to wake them up... I know it sounds ridiculous, but trust me). We'd start our routine... eat, change diaper, play/awake time, back down for nap. If they slept longer than 2 hours, I'd WAKE THEM UP AGAIN. A 2 hour nap is all they need, if they slept longer than that, then they were ruining their night time sleep. So at 2 hours wake them up again. Eat, diaper change, play/awake time, back down for a nap. Again, no longer than 2 hours. Then again... eat, diaper change, play/awake time, back down for nap (and in the evening it was usually a cat nap... like 30-45 minutes or so). Wake them up again. Eat, diaper change, play/awake time, time for bed. You may already be doing this, but if not, try it. The KEY though, is that wake time. If they don't have a set wake time, the schedule/night time sleep patter is OFF.

Hope something I said helps!!!

Misty Marie said...

How old is he now? I have a 14 mo old and an 8 week old -
I started feeding my 14 month old actual baby food (pureed fruits and veggies) when he was 4 months old and he started sleeping through the night when i did that.
my 8 week old sleeps like an angel most of the day but at night ugh! Most nights i sleep holding her on my chest just so i can get any sleep at all! I hate doing that and ive tried everything else and it never lasts more than 30 mins.
As far as swaddling goes.. Cloee hates it! She fights and fights till shes free and i have found she just does better when shes not swaddled at all. So you may try not swaddling and just do like a sleep sack or something where he can have a little bit of wiggle room and not feel so confined.. not every baby likes to be swaddled.. My 14 month old loved it but since we brought our 8 week old home she wouldnt have anything to do with it!
Praying you get some sleep! I know how much it sucks and have cried many many many nights and am hoping it gets better for both of us soon!

Kristin said...

Personally, I'm anti-cry it out. I think sleeping through the night is a milestone and it happens when it happens. That being said, I have an almost 9 month old that still eats twice a nice - so take my advice with a grain of salt. :)

Does he have anything that comforts him? My little man looooves the flannel receiving blankets and he holds them when he sleeps. Always scared me in the beginning - but he snuggles with them and that makes a HUGE difference in his sleeping. He also has an elephant that plays a lullaby and it's ears light up - that helps him fall asleep. Does Ransom have something to focus on while he's falling asleep? And then we also have the bathroom fan going all night - the bathroom door is just outside of his door. And then, with my daughter, we had constant baby music playing all night and a fan going - both things helped her a lot. And lots of pacifiers in the crib (well, not lots - like 3) - by about 6 months they were able to get them back in their mouths on their own.

Hope something starts helping soon! Sorry you're missing your friend, but know you're being commiserated with via the internet. :)

Anonymous said...

Oh, I feel your pain Abigail! And frustration. Remember that God can use every hard time to refine us and make us more dependent on Him. Praying for your sweet family. I have a friend in Charlottesville who loves this thing called a "woombie" - not sure how it works or anything, but it's a swaddle sack that looks like the kid's vacuum sealed in there! Shiloh had to just go through the learning process of being out of a swaddle...but perhaps Ransom prefers to be swaddled for a couple more weeks/months and the woombie thing might help? ~Leah

Anonymous said...

Can't really talk about having babies since I haven't been down that road, but I can talk about the jersey cow comment! jersey's are actually known for having more cream in their milk; i think you were going for the holstein. They're the black and white ones. Not as pretty as the jerseys, which I love, but they're the big volume producers! Unless you really were talking about your milk being creamier than most, and in that case, tmi :)
hoping it was the teething and that you're able to get some sleep this week!
- adelaide

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, I have no good advice, but I know how much misery loves company so I just wanted to tell you that I'm right there with you. Dustin works 12 hour night shifts, so I basically am a single parent a lot of the time (of course Calvin is usually AWESOME for the few hours Dustin has with him each day....lol). On a good night (and I do have those every now and again), Calvin is up once or twice. On a normal night, Calvin is up more times than I can keep track of. And while I really want to just put my coat on and go sleep in my car to escape the middle-of-the-night cyring, screaming, and sometimes just multi-hour talking sessions, I remiund myself that he will only be this age once. Pretty soon, he won't need me to meet his every need and fix all of his little problems. As tough as the weight and strain of that responsibilty is now, I believe that we will both miss it terribly when they are grown up enough to not need their mommies. Here's hoping that they both quickly discover how incredibly awesome sleep can be!