This post was written several weeks ago so as to preserve the "authenticity" of the moment. Enjoy.
So, on the saturday before Mother's Day I fell asleep on the couch during Ransom's nap time. And I awoke about 45 minutes later with two very clear thoughts in my head:
1. I have to pee so badly!!
2. Good. Lord. I'm. Pregnant.
The second thought was so clear and while seemingly only based on really non substantial evidence like needing to pee after taking a nap that I shouldn't have needed after a nine hour nights sleep the night before, I still took a pregnancy test just for kicks and giggles.
And, just like with Ransom I did a double take when it came up "pregnant".
SERIOUSLY?!? It just doesn't seem possible! And yet there it was plain as day.
And so, after several days of reeling. Here I am sitting on the couch writing a blog post I probably won't publish for at least a few more weeks.
Many of you know that I've had another boy and girl's name already ready to go for future children ( they are such good names! I can't wait to reveal them here on this blog!!) . And in some ways those two names are so real to me that the little people attached to them seem real too. I wanted more kids. I wanted Ransom to have someone to call and say, "Our parents are crazy." And for the person on the other end to be able to agree with full knowledge and understanding. I wanted him to have someone to fight/play with on family vacations and to play with on boring summer afternoons or rainy Sundays.
All that being said... I'm pretty darn scared of having another kid. While it was almost two years ago, I remember pretty vividly the horrors of morning sickness and being bigger than a house, the SERIOUS horrors of labor and delivery and the nightmare of those first few months of crying crying sleeplessness...how in the world will we do that while also having a very sensitive little toddler to raise up at the same time?! My only solace is that people seem to "do this all the time" and my hope is that I can be one of those people.
And of course, just to add some Real Housewives of the Army drama in there- Brett may or may not be deployed when the baby is born and for the few months after the baby is born. AWESOME. Not that I haven't done those first few months alone before ( see Ranger School...) but as I said to Brett, if he misses out on that total awesome-ness that is a newborn ONE MORE TIME. SO HELP ME. ( empty threat)....
Bottom line: Drama is unfolding at the Wilson Household. Stay tuned.