This week my doctors have been busy. Not with me, thankfully Tabitha has played nice all week and so has my body, but with other fetal cases and it seems like every time I talk to them they are on their way to some new specialized fetal intervention. It's truly amazing and it blows my mind what medicine is doing today to save babies lives and quality of life even before they are born!
Yesterday my Aunt Donnave took me on an extensive wheelchair ride throughout the hospital. It was crazy how just seeing lots and lots of people walking around was almost overwhelming to my senses! I've been in the hospital for almost a month and I suppose I just hadn't even thought about how much I've missed being out in "public". The other thing was how sensitive I felt towards all the children, both babies and older, who are in the hospital for one thing or another. How little I thought about my own blessings with Ransom's health before all this started! Now as we face each new day with the unknown of Tabitha's health future I am reminded what a gift it all is...and I marvel at the incredible struggles that others are facing right now that I know so little about!
Last night my doctor told me about a mom who was driving nine hours to get the same surgery that I had. Her twins are in Stage 3 of twin to twin transfusion, which is pretty much where we were, if not a little worse...I do not know her situation, but I do know that she was driving, not flying which makes me think of what an incredible sacrifice/fight she is making for her children's lives. I hope things went well, I think about my own nightmarish flight from Georgia, that included continual contractions and throwing up uncontroably in the Houston airport, and I pray her nine hours were some how easier ( though I can't imagine how they could be!). And at the same time I thank The Lord again for how many BLESSINGS we have had! That we could afford to fly last minute, to fly many many times over the last few months, that our insurance has been good and relatively pain free and that we have had SO much support over the last few months. Wow.
I will probably be moving to the Ronald McDonald house on Monday if the weekend goes well. Knock on wood! Because it seems every time my doctors want me to leave, something happens to prevent it! But, this time I feel ready....I've had enough time to think about it and I want this pregnancy to go on many more weeks and therefore I want to not be in this hospital room another month ( at least) ! I also feel like I will probably learn a lot from being in the McDs house- another place where I will be reminded of the fragility of our circumstances and how blessed we are really.
I need that reminder since I started to feel sorry for myself as I realized I had come back around full circle on my wonderful friends who have been staying with me while I've been here in Texas! It's hard enough to ask someone to stay with you ONE go around but in the coming week Billie will be back again for another stay. Asking for help does not get easier. And while its been incredible the out pouring of love I have received it is hard to not let the little worry wiggle in about what will happen if this pregnancy DOES continue on as long as we want it to?! How will I possibly keep depending on others generosity? Ah! Why do I doubt, when things have been so wonderfully cared for thus far?
So, like I said, I am grateful for the reminders of what is going on outside my hospital room. The many lives being lived and often struggled through. I am blessed and I pray I do not forget those less fortunate again,