This week has seemed longer than normal. Probably because I'm so looking forward to Thanksgiving. The Abt side of the family is making a major effort and all descending on Houston so that we can all have some time together. I'm way excited about it. Cousins and nieces and sisters and parents and aunts and uncles!! Plus time with Brett and Ransom, plus getting to stay in a hotel for a night ( not that I don't appreciate the McDs House...but sometimes a girl needs some "comforts") and celebrating my 29th birthday. Yes, I'm sure my excitement is making the days go by slower. But then there's also the reaching of the 32 week mark in this pregnancy which we did on Sunday. Wowzers.
I can't believe we made it this far! And I can't believe we're talking the long hail now....another whole month? The thought is both exciting and mindblowingly long.
But, I was reading on Sunday and I came to this passage in John 9:
As ( Jesus) passed by, he saw a man blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" Jesus answered, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him. (John 9:1-3 ESV)
At first the passage struck me because of a conversation Brett and I had right after we found out we lost Priscilla and we were hit with awful thoughts like, "Did this happen because we didn't pray hard enough? Or because we did something wrong?"
Maybe that's just us, but such "what if" thoughts are bound to hit you in times like that and I think this passage spoke to that in me. Realizing that bad things happen to "good" people....
But then, I read the passage again and realized there was so much more there. Here's a guy who had been BLIND for his whole life! He's childhood. His adolescence. His adulthood. Blind, blind, blind. How awful! And here is Jesus saying that it was all so that God might be displayed in him.
Of course, we know that this statement was followed by the remarkable healing of the man's eyes. And as a Bible reader I've always focused on that, I've taken it at face value...yup, here's a dude who was born blind so that one day, many many years later Jesus could give him sight. Yay!
But, whoa! How totally crazy is that?! Years and years of suffering for a miracle? Is it all worth it? And the answer is,a resounding "yes."
But even though the answer is yes, I know that I need help in my own heart to believe that for my own life. It's easy to say someone else's suffering is "worth it" for some remarkable story of God's working...but what about for myself? Can I have the faithfulness and patience to believe that all that has happened and what we continue to face is all working together for something that, one day, will be altogether worth it?
In 2 Peter 3:8 it says :
‘But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.’
So, the bottom line is that I can wait one more month for my daughter to be born. I can wait one more day. I can also wait an even longer time to see how her life, and even her sister's life and death will impact the world. How our family will be forever changed by this season and how, hopefully, prayerfully,I will believe the promise that "the work of God might be displayed in us." Will indeed come about.