April 16, 2013

Digging around creates....dirt.

So, it has been impressed upon me recently that I must write Tabitha and Priscilla's story in its entirety, before I forget all the little details that sadly fade with time...
This means that lately I've been sitting down in front of a Word document a couple of times a week and weeding through the dusty archives of my memory. I can't tell you the last time I've sat down in front of a word document for this long....actually, I can. It was in college.
That being said, its good to write, though, at times it is painful. Having to relive in my mind and heart the excitement and joy ( oh, ok, and FEAR) that we experienced when we found out we were having twins....its hard to conjure up. Love lost is hard to think about. Expectations that will never be met are hard to look at full in the face.

If I'm honest I think I was afraid that it would bring on other feelings, things like bitterness or even embarrassment ( like, how could I be so silly as to think that God would give ME twins?!). But, really bringing up these memories just brings them into the Light. The light of His truth.

There is such freedom in the truth and in the Light. And I know that this will be good for me....especially as one who tends to error on the side of denial... digging around in my memory and my heart are probably a good idea.

That being said, bear with me....I don't rightly know how this will affect my blog. In college, writing assignments actually made me blog MORE ( a mixture of procrastination and also having all that pent up creativity brought to the surface), but given that I have two children and a husband-these days my time is so limited in the writing department it might mean this blog is neglected-who can say?!
But I wanted to give you a heads up just the same....

And if we're all good...maybe at the end of this I'll have a Story to share....


Renee said...

Interesting that you post this now...yesterday I spent hours cutting and pasting every entry I've written on my blog about Apollo into a word document.

The same realization came upon me...if I don't write this out soon I will forget details, feelings, thoughts...I believe I am into about 70 pages in my word document. My plan is to print those and use them as a reference (along with the medical notebook I keep for Apollo) to write out his story.

Do, do go work on Priscilla and Tabitha's story. The blog can wait if need be.

SW said...

Perhaps a book will come out of this--one that will help countless couples going thru a similar experience by sharing your joy, fear, frustration, deep sorrow and pain, and everabiding Faith in the One who loves you and your girls. God Bless you and guide your thoughts.
Love, Aunt Sheron