May 02, 2005


So I was reading THIS today. ( sidenote: is my new favorite website, getting the same verse in tons of versions and languages with the click of a button makes me happy!)

Anyway, that chapter in exodus which you obviously just went and read...really really speaks into my life right now. For one thing, my biggest fear has always been that I would be somewhere and it wouldnt be in God's Will. He wouldnt be there supporting me...and boo! that would be the WORST possible thing ever. hell, really.

So, yes, to say this last week has been a struggle would be to speak correctly...For one thing some feelings of uselessness really brought me down and so logically i wanted to LEAVE. For one thing, going somewhere new and/or different is literally the best of all escapisms and two, I felt that I wasnt doing anything HERE for good, and that surely somewhere else would prove better. *sigh*

I gotta admit I am not entirely out of the forest yet, but at least the trees arent as tall to where I cant see over them.

Insecurities: We all have them.

Isnt it interesting to see how they show themselves? It is always easier to see them in others, and yet I am always shocked when I see them manifest themselves in my own they just POP up and I just react accordingly! I like to feel needed. Dont we all? But, even worse is when we feel like we are needed and yet we arent WANTED. oooo! that one isnt cool either.

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