self-loathing...

I know, its a strong title. But, I was just reading over my previous post and I started to "dwell"....some of my friends know what THAT means...it means I started (over) analyzing everything.....

SOOOOOooooo, so I can sleep tonight:

The person who I felt mirrored my feelings, my actions....is no one YOU know-dont you worry, dear bloggers, I find myself again and again as the weakest member of my family. Its incredible, actually, how strong they are.
Infact, one of the lessons I learned yesterday, that I failed to mention is that I watched how my parents, my sister, my brother-in-law, they all acted with such kindness, such calm, such gentleness....in a time when I knew they must have been feeling at least SOME if not ALL of how I was feeling. Isnt it amazing what we can learn from others? or at least ASPIRE to how they react in a situation.
I am learning that the people that are dealing with similar problems as yourself are JUST the people that you are often sent to comfort, encourage....and often they are the people that are the HARDEST to comfort and encourage from your own selfish point of view. I guess, what I am trying to say...so very badly.....is that in the end it is not in their own strength that I know my family is acting in. They are truly helped so that they may help others.

How lucky they are to have Help.
How lucky I am to have them to remind me that I have that same Helper.