January 01, 2006

Better Days

At the moment I am listening to my new favorite song:
"Better Days" by the Goo Goo Dolls

The words are pretty perfect for the beginning of a new year, and I really feel like I havent discussed this new year like I wanted to since I had the whole dramatic events of this weekend ( please read previous post for details).

I've always felt like I was not a new years resolution type girl, but actually, I probably AM! But I think I do the resolutions several times a year...my birthday....I sort of had a reflection time on my year anniversary of texas-living....christmas...and now here we are on the first day of the year.

So, of course, I couldnt HELP but take a look backwards over this year ( again)...I think I pretty much covered everything in THIS POST which you can read again just in case you have a memory problem or you dont read this blog often enough ( also a problem) ...
But, in looking back again, I was truly overwhelmed at how TRULY the Lord has been there at EVERY single moment. Its kind of daunting to try and recall 365 days....yet I was encouraged thinking of all the struggles, the blessings, the answered prayers, the victories, the battles, the friends, the losses....in ALL of that I had assurance of the Lord's help. It was constant, it was THERE.

I come into this new year with a since of longing, longing for what I feel I "barely tasted" this last year....I was having a quiet time this morning and this verse from my daily light really hit it on the nail:
Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected, but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me." Phil 3:12

So, with that thought in mind...

This year I would like to...
....Be better at writing emails. So often I have something to say to someone, even just one sentence, and I feel silly to send it...or I am just too lazy. Just last night I caught up with two dear friends who I LONG to encourage as they face the trials of the coming year...I need to write them.

....Remember those who suffer. It is so easy, on my "happy-go-lucky" days to forget those who are suffering...struggling, hanging by a thread.

....Pray OUT LOUD. I actually have an interesting conversation with God going about this at the moment. I've been really convicted as of late to pray more in church. As you may or may NOT know...I absolutely hate praying out loud at church (prayer meetings), most of the time....anyway, a month or so ago I felt convicted to be more of an "active" fighter in my church-to care for the people more, to pray for them, talk to them...do what I can. And it just so happens, I feel like I am suppose to do the thing I reeeeeally dont want to do. Pray out loud. So, I am trying hard to be faithful to pray when I feel led to...so often, I would let those moments pass me by, and I am having to fight pretty hard against the urge to stay silent. It seems like such a strange thing to feel like you are suppose to do...but well, I dont argue with such convictions.

...Read more, get on the internet less. There are SO many wonderful books I want to read! And yet, how is it my want-to-read list is still really long? I spend my time reading silly things like...blogs! hahaha....and checking my emails...instead of reading! boo! I have ALL DAY AT WORK to do those things...I need to stay off the computer at night.
....Write more. This one I actually HATE even posting...for one thing, I know I'll have people like Sam on my back in an instant...and I've been so very very bad at writing this year...but its something that is always in the back of my mind-so maybe the goal for this year should be learning how to JUST WRITE and stop thinking so much ;-)

....Be a kinder, more gracious person. My grandmother was very shy, and she said her trick in difficult social situations would be to find the loneliest/saddest person in the room and talk to them. I've always tried to abide by this, but in looking at my life...I find that INSTEAD I tend to talk to the "easiest" person...and I avoid "ackward conversations" like the plague...I want to learn how to make even the most uncomfortable person comfortable....now THAT is a talent I want to have!

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