I had a much needed talk with my Aunt Donnave tonight. As we talked, so much came to light....clear as the sun on a cloudless day....And while I came home and wrote it all down ( as I do with all important things...who can sleep in until its on paper!), and while all the right words have been said-and in a way I know it is already finished in the sight of God...and that my wounds are healed, the victory is His, the lies have been cast down, the bonds broken...truly, it is finished-yet even though I know that, I see that I have probably only scratched the surface of the lies I have believed over the years, luckily with the Lord it is a great delight to the Believer....to be able to, TRULY, leave it in His hands...
"He is like a refiner's fire and like a launder's soap. He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver." ~Mal 3:2
"...therefore strengthen the hands which hand down and the feeble knees." ~Heb12:12
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."~Rom 5:3-5
Yes, it came with such delight tonight when I realized that this burden that I've lived under since I can remember...that I dont have to live under it anymore! I know! You would think I would have realized this a long time ago, right? But, NO!
I actually felt joy in my heart when I saw that this "wasnt normal" that that normal was possible....I mean, I have to admit it still seems impossible to NOT have that fear accompanying me everyday...but I know that the impossible is possible with my God.
Wow, my faith just wasnt big enough! How sobering to realize I let God fix the "fixable" things in my life...but not the tough stuff....because it was tough....but, nope...I WANT it fixed....i dont want to live with this anymore....that's all I can say now-because that's about all Iunderstand of the situation.
But I will say this
Praise be to the Lord God, for all that He does is Just and Good....