June 22, 2006

"ALL THE WAY....

"...my Savior Leads me."

From one of my all time favorite hymns.

So, yesterday, I admit I wrote that blog post during the first two hours of having some very upsetting news just POPPED on me. I admit, I didnt react particularly well...and I also still carry a TINY bit of resentment that it happened at ALL...I mean, where the heck is the communication in the world anymore?! Am I the ONLY one that likes some NOTICE?!?!?!

That's the beside the point, because it was AFTER I'd cried twice, and talked to my mom and my sister and written a blog post...that I sat down and just said out loud:
"It's going to be OK."

I honestly HONESTLY believe that! I really really do...I mean, I'm still a TAD on the stressed side, but being stressed is just one way of knowing that you're alive. ( hahaha!)

I've been encouraged by the past few weeks and how God has TOTALLY and completely changed my life...on little piece at a time. I got a new job. Just like that. I got rid of the old job. Just like that. I got a trip to New Zealand. Just like that.
My journal was full of me being super grateful and marveling at how PERFECTLY things were working out.
So, if I could just take a page from my VERY OWN journal I would KNOW that this TOO would work out. Just like that.

I've been encouraged by the fact that only a few days ago I felt the sudden need to plan my trip to NZ IMMEDIATELY-even though I seemingly had plenty of time to do so...this turned out to be an important thing, since, honestly if I'd waited and Katie had told me what she told me yesterday...I would have cancelled any THOUGHT of taking a trip ( and I probably would have secretly hated katie forever for it! hahaha!)...so I'm encouraged because I'm now almost MORE excited about this trip. I know that its IMPORTANT that I go.

I've been encouraged by the fact that only a few weeks ago-before ANY of this had happened, I wrote in my journal that I felt like I was at the cusp of a turning point in my life...that things were going to really CHANGE. At the time I didnt know WHAT I was talking about ( I figured it was hormones) but I prayed about it any way...I was relatively excited about it....but then, it actually happened. And I feel sure God will honor those prayers...prayed in ignorance of what was to come.

Its true...things are about to get DOUBLY DIFFERENT. To name only a few,
I'm changing jobs.
I'm moving ( somewhere...even if its just to my parents spare bedroom...heaven forbid!)
My grandfather is moving to Nacogdoches, tomorrow...
I have a feeling that even my social life is going to change...
I honestly feel like the changes are going to be even bigger than what I can see now...
But, its ok....its exciting.

I'm TOTALLY and COMPLETELY scared.
I LIKE to be in control! I really really like to know what's going to happen! And I really really really don't like change.


So this is going to be fun.

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