June 03, 2006

the definition of: wrong side of bed

I HATE that blasted DOG! And, I cant wait till its GONE! FOREVER.
Oh, yes, this morning at SIX THIRTY it started barking...and it would bark...and pause...just long enough for me to relax...go back to sleep...then




you get the idea...it was HORRIBLE and during the silences I would lie all tense like in my bed, thinking about ways to kill animals.

So, you wanna know the BEST PART?!
Apparently, Evil Neighbor is getting 100 dollars a PIECE for the little spawn of Satans ( there are four...and they are cute...because they are puppies...and all puppies are cute, but one day they will grow up and show their evil evil gross mix-breed-nasty colors! oh yessss they will!)....ANNNND that's not the best part!!!
Evil Neighbor is selling the Evil Dog as well!!! SHOOOOOOCCCCKKKKKING!
It turns out, that my suspicions are true: Evil Neighbor is not capable of loving anything...therefore if she can sell you for a few hundred dollars. Well, PACK YOUR BAGS.

Oh, yes, dont get me wrong...I am CELEBRATING the fact that Evil Dog is not long for this world ( the world being anywhere near me.) Its just that I'm a little put off to know that if I'd just PAID OFF Evil Neighbor long ago...then I wouldnt have to listen to that STUPID HEIGHT CHALLENGED DOG yap at ungodly hours for 9 solid months!!! And, the thought that the dog I was hearing at 6:30 this morning was not a dog that was loved..but, instead, a dog that was "worth a few packs of ciggies" ...well, it made it all the worse somehow.

So, finally, I drug myself out of bed around seven...and drove myself straight to Java Jacks. Which brings me to my NEXT beef:

Ok, I've held my tongue long enough! But its time for me to officially complain about Left-Wing-Elitist-Dude, (aka the morning coffee maker at Java Jacks). Now, I reeeeally hate this guy.
Ok, Suuuuure, HATE is a strong word, but when we are talking about me PRE-coffee-ed well, then...you realize its not that strong.
SO, anyway, the first strike against LWEG was when I was trying to cut back on my morning caffine ( which lasted a total of three days and ended the second day that I had to get up before seven.) So, to help myself during the withdraws I went to JavaJacks to have a decaf coffee.. so I ordered from LWEG, "I'd like a Grande Decaf Skinny Latte"

LWEG: "You mean, a Why Bother?"
Me: "Excuse me?"
LWEG: "Well, it basically has NOTHING in it."

Oooooh weeeeelll.....EEEEXXXXXUUUUUUSE ME for coming to ask you to make a NOTHING! To PAY YOU an over priced amount to make me NOTHING!!!

What I WANTED to say ( but was not quick enough at the time to think of...because, let's face it...I hadnt had any caffine in DAYS!) was, "Well, then why should *I* bother PAYING for it then?! CHOMP!"

( the chomp was me biting his head clean off.)

So, since that day, I've been LWEG Dude's private enemy...and I've found that not only is he RUDE...but he also makes Latte's INSANELY HOT....yes, today...it took THIRTY MINUTES for my latte to cool down to where I didnt burn my tongue...THIRTY.
Which, MEANS that my tongue is totally burned and I have NO taste buds left...because, we ALL know I cant wait that long to drink my coffee!
ANNDDDD....Mister LWEG also puts waaaay too much foam in my latte...its practically a CAPPUCCINO....and I DID NOT ORDER A CAPPUCCINO....and I havent ordered a cappuccion in yeeeears! SO WHY BOTHER WITH YOU MISTER ELITIST?!?!

Yes, I didnt even BROOCH the subject of his elitist ways...it makes me too angry. But, let me just say THIS: I really dislike people on EITHER side of the middle...left OR right ( whichever you decide) that look DOWN upon, PITY, DESPISE, DISRESPECT, SOME OTHER RUDE VERB, those that who do not believe exactly the same way that you do. How very close minded of you! How very hypocritical of you Mister Leftist Dude...you give Librals everywhere a very bad name and I dislike you for it.

Ahhhh....I'm feeling much better, but I definitely think I need to go to the gym after work....maybe sweat off some of this agression ;-) hehehe

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