December 27, 2006

hello? Anyone home?

Ok, I admit the blogging has been sufficiently less the last week or so, for me anyway, but its not like I've stopped all together, I've taken the TIME and the ENERGY to think up things to say ( however trite they might sound)......but I dont think anyone's reading-so I'll take this time to talk to myself.

A strange turn of events in the last week or so is that I've done precious little journaling...mostly because its extremely late at night before I have even had a I find that I'm actually TOO TIRED to pick up a pen ( yes, this is a new leve of tireness...I'm lazy, lets not dwell on this)....anyway, I instead have laid in the dark and had thoughts roll around and around in my head...and then usually I've fallen asleep and found that early in the morning the thought will pick up right where it left off and wake me up so that'll give it attention once more.
Its not restful.

And this is why I like journals, people. The words STICK to the page and dont wake me up in the morning!

I just filled out my 2007 calendar-putting everyone's birthdays on the right date...I like to put the person's age too because I'm not good with numbers. Anyway, its shocking how grown-up my friends are becoming.... everyone is turning crazy-adult ages like "25...and 26....and 27....and 29...whooooooa"
In fact, I too am supposedly a grown-up. And that's just scary.
Grown-ups make BIG decisions...and they're like "yeah, that's right...I just made a big decision, what you going to do about it?" with this amazing level of confidence.

Or at least that's what I always thought.

Now, I'm starting to realize most grown-ups are probably more like I know, making decisions and at the same time praying to God that its going to work out.

Yet, at the same time...I'm surprised at how confident I actually am about certain things. Every so often I'll be doing some really mudane task like waiting for water to boil for coffee or something, and its like I give myself this pinch as though to try and wake up from this life....but its real. I dont think I'm going to wake up....


Can you tell that I havent been writing in my journal?! This post is all over the place.

Picking Emma up from the airport in just a few hours! YAAAAAAY! I am sooo excited. Not just excited that I get to see her, but I always get this strong feeling when I have visitors-the sense of importance of the time we have together...that its not an accident, not a chance meeting....its PLANNED. Planned by God...and anything planned by God is very exciting, indeed.

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