So, my last blog contained non-sentences that described my weekend. That's right, when my life is that busy and I pretty much find myself on my feet for two of the three days I dont have much energy left to write cohesively about it. But, it was a fun time...and i've got pictures waiting on my camera to prove it.
Anyway, as I made out my weekday planner ( as I compulsively do every monday-along with going through the Sunday paper for coupons..WOOOO! Exciting!!!!) I found that my week is oddly relaxed. Strange. This can only mean that it'll end up being crazy, busy.
Yesterday I started to ponder my fears of being "not needed"-which coincidentally is my biggest fear about 2009. This morning I laid in bed from 5:30 to 6:30 getting more and more frightened about the unknown. But, before you start judging me, I'd like to say that I don't care if you do judge me. I dont care if you think you'd handle things so much better than me, or that you'd be a whole lot more thoughtful and reflective and you'd never make inappropriate jokes to get yourself through...well, that's fine. Last night I had the privilege of speaking with the author of The Insider, Mike Shamy ( who is incidentally from New Zealand...which I didnt know until he opened his mouth! Crazy small world!) and one of the things he said really struck me. He was talking about being authentic and honest and that while its important to remember how your words will affect others-its also important to tell your own story-with complete honesty. For the story of our lives is what God has given us-that is our personal witness.
Well folks, I'd like to just go ahead and remind you that that is how I feel about my blog. I will be honest with you-no matter how un-pretty it may seem...because lets face it-life isnt particularly pretty and my walk with Christ is not a one-way street that's paved twice a month and only driven on by laid back sunday-drivers...no, not at all. The thing is, I have the sneaking suspicion that if you're honest with yourself you'll see that your life is pretty crazy too, and while you may not be going through exactly what I'm going through and you ( hopefully) never will...I would like to be an encouragement to you-and if that just means that you think to yourself, "I just want to be better than Abigail."
Than my job here is done.
Annnnyway, so back to my fear of being "unneed"...this is something I had not identified as one of my major failings until this weekend ( or maybe I should say it's been "brought back up" ) so once again...I'm a work in progress. *sigh*