May 02, 2008

where in the world?!

Today is my day off...and I've got a long long list of things to do before the day is up-After all, a weekend of partying takes work!
Anyway, its 10:21 and I'm sitting in my New Zealand hoodie and yoga pants reading blogs-house still dirty, food not prepared, gym unattended, goodwill yet to be visited.

Ah well, what can you do?! Its been a loooonnnnnng mental roller-coaster of a week and I needed that extra four hours of sleep.

In other news, on Wednesday night I had a breakdown of sorts over my bible study, heck over the entire "girls ministry" that I am affectively in charge of ( "should abigail be given such great responsibility?! Abigail thinks not...") The freak out, I still feel, was completely warranted since I felt like everyone and there dogs were unhappy with my "leadership" or whatever you want to call I cried over the box of pizza sitting in my lap ( the one and only problem with Little Caesars is they do not deliver) while Brett spoke encouraging words ( and probably true ones) at my unwilling-to-hear ears and then I prayed for the whole day following. In fact, I prayed so hard, and I was so worried about it- that poor Amy was forced to work with an Abigail Zombie all day on Thursday. ( mental note: The next time I want to have a "Day with God"-do it on your day off.)
But, I dont think I have to tell you that God came through and while I still dont feel like anyone should ever put me in charge of anyone, I am a hundred and fifty percent ready to try my hand at Girl Leading. Of course, on the outside it probably doesn't look any different from the day before-but I suppose one needs to have a good "I cant do this" breakdown so that God can really and truly take the reins.
Of course, I'm still a bit in wonderment about why I'd have such a breakdown in the middle of the much larger issues of the day that are still entitled "What will Abigail do while Brett is deployed?!"
I suppose God felt like two major stresses was better than one.

Luckily, last night's bible study might has well have been a speech directed entirely at me-it was that relevant to my decision making process...So I am currently thinking hard of a million different possibilities for the future, I have stopped waiting for God to send me a post-it note from heaven ( although, that would be SO helpful!) and I've started just waiting for Peace of heart.

And I'd just like to note that I should be pretty darn good at this by now, since I have faced the Unknown Decision Time in 2002, 2004 and 2007 and so you'd think doing it in 2008 would be sooooOoooOo easy. But, I'm a slow learner. And that just means my book entitled "Where in the World is Abigail Wilson?!" is going to sell millions.

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