I was awakened many times last night in pain. Gotta love the beautiful timing of this endometrosis /kidney stone thing...( I think its possible its stress related.)
And during prayer time this morning ( at 4:30 no less) I was feeling pretty much awful. totally and completely helpless. Life. Its sooo hard.
But, then again this is good, right? No more of me trying to do things in my own strength. I quite literally, CAN'T. Today I went and got another Cat Scan of my abdomen. And then I went to the grocery store. And then I wanted to cry.
Everything is so tiring.
Anyway, now I'm at work and I'm trying to check things off my to-do list.
You see, I really do have the best husband in the world. Last night when I was feeling particularly low he helped me make a to-do list of all the things we need to accomplish in the next three months...making that list quite literally made me feel calmer. Probably because it gave me the sense of control, which we all know is not even true. *sigh* I have so much growing to do. I want so badly to be able to handle all of this better. I want to be calmer, kinder.