Yesterday was the longest day in the history of days. We had a scan of Tabitha around 8:30am and then crickets until around 6:30.... Of course the day could be rivaled by Friday which was long and awful in its own way, but at least we were doing things. And I'm a DOER.
So, according to family members, Brett and I kept a calm exterior yesterday which I guess is better than nothing.... That being said, I was glad we ended on a good note- with a visit from our friends, the Woods... Moving to a new room that is much less high-maintenance ( I'm no longer attached to 50 machines!!) .... And of course, above all a visit from both my doctors who gave us hope for today. Hope that Tabitha is slowly fighting. That she hasn't given up yet.
Today we have continued our plod forward. Tabitha continues to make tiny improvements and I feel like my doctors are cautiously optimistic. We could be out of the hospital tomorrow if all goes well, and I'm just praying my body will be willing to handle a flight back to Atlanta + 2 hrs in the car on Friday, which is when we planned on returning. Though, even when my mind goes there I try to push my thoughts back to today. Today is the only day I have, the only thing on which to focus. The only day I've been given the Grace to fight through. And believe me there is just enough grace for today.
Oh how hard it is to see Priscilla's little body every time we check on Tabitha, to hear the ultra sound tech remark at how much Tabitha is moving, when I know that only days ago it was my other little one dancing around the screen. Or even to see Tabitha's little profile and to finally see her stretch out her legs, something she hasn't been able to do with her limited space.... Oh, how I love them both! And how I must remember that even though Priscilla's body will be with us a while longer, her little soul is far from my belly. I think that I love these girls- or even Ransom, who I miss so terribly- though I know he's having the time of his life with our family...yet I know that my Love is not perfect. Not like our Heavenly Father's...and so I remind myself again that this is a Day by Day thing... And so we continue. In Hope. In Faith. Each day with our daily manna from Heaven.