With everyone but my insurance company rearing to go yesterday, I was feeling the kinda calm you get from knowing that something is about to happen...hopefully for the good! Yet, what that something was changed rather quickly at around 6:30pm when my OB called to say they were worried that my "mild contractions" were a sign that I couldn't travel...so off I went to the hospital. Leaving Ransom behind with our friends Jared and Britton- or in his mind- a before bedtime party.
Luckily Brett was able leave the Field where he's been the last two days and come meet me at the hospital. Honestly, having him with me is the most calming thing, and yet a luxury in this military world.
So, here we are, after a night of monitoring and the fitful sleep only a hospital can provide. ( apparently there idea of darkness is "dusk" and that baby heart monitor next door....did it need to be on at top volume?!)... I saw the on call doctor this morning who was a combo of fatherly and grim. Things are looking dangerous for the babies and it's safe to say they are not giving me answers about my ability to travel till the last possible moment...for everyone's sake.. He left promising to have an "early ultra sound" to check on the girls which I so so dread. Normally a mom delights in pictures of her children,but it is beyond painful to see them in their current states-with no power to help them....
Ah, power....the power to comfort, the power to save....such powers we as humans have been trying to master from the beginning. Yet with what success?!
This morning I read Isaiah 41, and it's promises are what I must stand upon today:
The oppressed and the poor look for water but there is none; their tongues are parched from thirst. I, the Lord,will respond to their prayers, I, the Lord of Israel, will not abandon them.
I will make streams flow down from slopes and produce springs in the middle of the valleys. I will turn the desert into a pool of water and the arid land into springs.
I will make cedars, acacias, myrtles and olive trees grow in the wilderness; I will make evergreens, firs, and cypresses grow together in the desert.
I will do this so people will observe and recognize, so they pay attention and understand that the Lord's power has accomplished this, and that the Holy One of Israel has brought it into being.
Friends, I do not know what today brings...but I do hope you will all see the ever perfect Hand Of God at work. I guarantee it will be perfect. Hard maybe. Seemingly Tragice. Maybe hopeful or victorious...but whatever the case....may He be recognized as the Author and Accomplisher of this day.