Broken

I feel like a broken record.

 

So you know how I've been reading the book Searching for God Know's What ? Well, one of my favorite things about this book is that it reminds me of the "God shaped hole" that each and every one of us has.

It's been good to be reminded of that hole-because now I am MUCH more conscious of what I try to fill the hole with..and you know what I have found to be the MOST common of all fillers?

The desire for relationships.

 

Its not just a "joke" when mothers complain about their daughters not being married yet...and it cant just be a "conversation filler" when people ask me if that's a wedding ring on my finger...and its not a "coincidence" that of the three friends that called me today, two were calling about relationship dramas....I mean, WHY?!

 

Oh, and its not just other people...its me too.

 

I spent a better part of the weekend hashing out my own sorry issues.

 

So, honestly, I have nothing profound to say-except that I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling like a broken record when relationships are brought up (even with myself)-constantly having to go over the facts*...I hate that everyone thinks that I'm somehow Miss Spokeswomen for the Single Girl. Because honestly I'm a big proponent for marriage and all that. I mean, come on, I'd looooove for God to just be like:

 "Here, Abigail, I brought you a Man today.."

(hahaha!)

 

Oh, that WOULD be scary/great wouldnt it?!

 

But, here's the thing...

I have a feeling my issues would still be there...and I have a feeling that ultimately I'd still have to spend my days reminding myself and others what the facts* are....because we're fallen.

I'm broken.

 

I'm empty, and I constantly look for my filling from the wrong places.

 

* I've talked about the facts many a time in my blog...and in many a conversation. Like I said, I feel like a broken record...but if you need reminding..let me know. I'll hook you up. ( hahaha...my new favorite saying).