So, its starting to really set in...the fact, that no matter what-we're leaving Washington. Every time I think about it I want to cry. Last night I told Brett I wish I wasnt such a "rooter" meaning I wish that wherever I go I must immediately start to put down roots. It is ever so hard to rip out ones roots...I think I loose a little bit of myself every time. I think the hard part here is that I havent really even FINISHED putting down roots here, so many people I have high hopes for our friendships and now......it stinks.
Anyway, for those of you who've asked. We probably wont know what's decided ( as in where we'll be going) for a few weeks...but believe me I'm praying for a quick resolution. Not knowing is the worst.
I also must admit, here because this is my blog, that I'm having a lot harder time dealing with how this affects ME than I am with how it affects Brett ( I know! I'm a horrible person!), for Brett I know that deploying right now-and even with a MiT Team-will be good for his career...I also can tell myself that Brett working in a small team of guys will give him greater opportunity to minister etc. and ultimately I know that God has plans for him and that those plans will work out for good. And while I know that all of this is incredibly hard on him I still feel confident that good will come from it. I always have confidence in Brett and in God.
However...the idea of Brett deploying soon and from some other location ( either Fort Benning, Georgia or Fort Riley, Kansas) makes me wonder what in the WORLD I'm going to do....at least here I had friends...I was settled( ish)....the idea of going somewhere for a few months while Brett prepares to leave and then ...well, then I just don't know what I'll do. The future is just a great big blank.
I wish I had a plan.
Boy, Lydia and Emma have NO IDEA what they're getting themselves into by visiting me this weekend. I'm just loads of fun.
In good news, I'm definitely back into blogger mode. I realize more than ever how I use blogging as a way to deal. Almost as soon as I got the terrible, disrupting news I was composing blog posts in my head....