April 24, 2008

a leaver

So, its starting to really set in...the fact, that no matter what-we're leaving Washington. Every time I think about it I want to cry. Last night I told Brett I wish I wasnt such a "rooter" meaning I wish that wherever I go I must immediately start to put down roots. It is ever so hard to rip out ones roots...I think I loose a little bit of myself every time. I think the hard part here is that I havent really even FINISHED putting down roots here, so many people I have high hopes for our friendships and now......it stinks.

Anyway, for those of you who've asked. We probably wont know what's decided ( as in where we'll be going) for a few weeks...but believe me I'm praying for a quick resolution. Not knowing is the worst.

I also must admit, here because this is my blog, that I'm having a lot harder time dealing with how this affects ME than I am with how it affects Brett ( I know! I'm a horrible person!), for Brett I know that deploying right now-and even with a MiT Team-will be good for his career...I also can tell myself that Brett working in a small team of guys will give him greater opportunity to minister etc. and ultimately I know that God has plans for him and that those plans will work out for good. And while I know that all of this is incredibly hard on him I still feel confident that good will come from it. I always have confidence in Brett and in God.

However...the idea of Brett deploying soon and from some other location ( either Fort Benning, Georgia or Fort Riley, Kansas) makes me wonder what in the WORLD I'm going to do....at least here I had friends...I was settled( ish)....the idea of going somewhere for a few months while Brett prepares to leave and then ...well, then I just don't know what I'll do. The future is just a great big blank.
I wish I had a plan.


Boy, Lydia and Emma have NO IDEA what they're getting themselves into by visiting me this weekend. I'm just loads of fun.

In good news, I'm definitely back into blogger mode. I realize more than ever how I use blogging as a way to deal. Almost as soon as I got the terrible, disrupting news I was composing blog posts in my head....

5 comments:

Paul James said...

Well, I'm glad you're posting regularly! All of my other blogging friends are apparently too busy or something.

Let me preface this by saying that I am not the best of encouragers...

Think of it as leaving a bit of yourself instead of loosing a bit of yourself. The difference -- we have no control over what we loose but we do have control over what we leave. You are fortunate to know that a big change is about to happen -- we're not always given that. You have a wonderful opportunity to be purposeful and intentional with your time left in Washington which will forever impact the lives of the people you are around.

I'll be praying for both of you!

Carina said...

Seems like they are coming at exactly the right time.

donnave said...

Come stay in your future home for a while. Not that I am not sad for you and for Brett, but, you know. It is an opportunity.

Gaily-Poo said...

You aren't really crazy about the weather there anyway:-)

Gaily-Poo said...

Hope you are having a great time with the girls. Praying for you and Brett.