October 23, 2008

Meaning

not exactly sure when I blogged last but it's safe to say it was pitiful. Of course, I was pitiful, so it all makes sense... The past few days have lasted an eternity and I've felt a little like I was drowning. And while we're not out of the stormy waters yet I've had my moments where I come up for air.
Like last night when I went to Bible study and while it was amazing just HOW many people I didn't know, I WAS reminded just WHY Brett and I made the decision for me to move back here. I am passionate about womens ministry. After of a week of loneliness,sadness, ackwardness, and weirdness it was as if faded to the background, I almost felt physically hungry to get back into learning about teaching and loving on people. I saw some needs and girls that I missed and new girls that I thought were great and I could hardly wait to get back here to get involved....
Of course, all the details are not clear- such as the minor details of where to live and where to work* but those are minor details. I know that this Love is no accident and while I am truly humbled that I have TONS to learn, I feel once again that this is the place I should be to start learning.

* today I went to a lame-o interview at State Farm. It was lame because it was just was just a preliminary interview with some HR chick and also because the job I thought I was applying for was closed to interviews on Friday. Also I felt bumbly and stupid. I hate job interviews, because even though I was not even that attached to the job- Its still like a bad date, YOU want to be the hot, desirable one who breaks it off. Blah. But no harm done, back to my original plan of not worrying about this until I actually move back.

And I am, I am moving back. It goes against all reasoning to come back to this cold, dark state for a year without a husband to put my ice feet on, but I'm sure of this- more sure than all the other stuff... Which doesn't say much, but it does say a little. And a little will keep me from drowning.

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