November 03, 2010

The Downs

I've had this blog for many a year and one thing that I've always kept as my "rule" about blogging is that I would be honest.

This honesty has definitely cost me some things...most of all pride. Because it means that I rarely hold back from telling you about my moments of doubt or my stupid blunders ( especially if they're'll always hear about those!) or the pure unadulterated and usually not at all realistic fears that I might have on a day to day basis. I tell you about these things in my life so that you'll'll know that I'm not perfect and hopefully then I can get across just how perfect the God that I am trying to follow really is!! Then when wonderful things happen, like Brett graduates Ranger School in one go, or we have a really adorable son who's happy and healthy...well, you won't just think that those things just happen. You'll instead know that those things are all completely due to the sovereign grace of God.

Or at least that's what I'm hoping.

Anyway, the last week or so I've been struggling with a major case of the "downs" as my blog has most CLEARLY reflected, as have my status updates on twitter and facebook. Ummm....yeah. Sorry about that! But, as the blog title denotes-this IS about MY day here!

But, a wonderful friend of mine reached down into the little pit that I had dug and was sitting in and pulled me up by own arm and spoke a quick reminder into my ear...a reminder that I am suppose to be living in JOY!

This kind of joy:
But, instead I've been caring waaaaay too much about what other people think. I've been focusing waaaaay too much on the things that aren't going according to my plan. Without paying heed to all the truly great things that we've got in our life. In a few days I will be posting another letter on my son's blog, and when I do it will be about all the wonderful things that I've come to love about him-even in just the last month...but sadly, there have been days where I have overlooked all those wonderful things because I've been too worried about his serious case of acid-reflux or I've been too caught up in what other people are thinking of my crying child when I take him out into public...this is truly a tragedy because I do not want to miss a second of this once-in-a-life time day. This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it!!


the emsta said...

I have always counted on you to tell the truth...every gift has a are going through alot of changes...thanks for not being overly happy when you are not...I would rather read what you have been saying than post about how perfect your life is :)

Love you Abigail...thank you for being such a wonderful part of my life!

Stacey said...

Good for you! Pick yourself up (or let a friend do that part for you) and dust yourself off and just PLAN on things not going according to plan! Everybody's baby's are different. What worked for one mom won't work for another. Find what works for you and Ransom and forget the rest! And cut yourself some slack girl! You were a single mom for the last how many months with your first baby?! It takes Ransom time to adjust to you and you time to adjust to him. Now he's got to adjust again with Brett home (which is a great thing!). I think you're doing GREAT and are experiencing everything that a new mom does. YOU ARE NORMAL.

Stacey said...

P.S. I think it's great you are writing down your REAL emotions through all of this. I purposefully wrote down how I was feeling so that when my daughter grows up and asks me if she's having normal new mom feelings I can pull out what I wrote down to show her! I think moms forget by the time their children have children! I wanted to remember and be able to show her. Keep it real girl!

Lindsay Fones said...

love you abigail! you're a great momma :) soon i'll be needing more lessons :) hopefully in person! :)