November 04, 2010

So today was an interesting day. I was reminded about one of God's ways of answering prayer, with a big fat "no".

First off, I'll back track and remind you of the post I wrote on Sunday where I was pretty upset about how things turned out when I went to Bible Study. And I'm not gonna lie. I was actually mad at God about it. I seriously thought...whhhy would God not answer my prayer to help Ransom be all calm and awesome at Bible Study so that I could be a part of it and learn and grow?!? I mean, doesn't that seem like a prayer right up God's alley to answer?!? But, when I was confessing my anger to my friend Marie today she mentioned that maybe God thought that bringing to light some of the lies I was believing about me being a bad Mom was more important. That maybe I needed to sit in the dark otherwise I would not realize just HOW MANY falsehoods I was believing about myself and my life as a Mom. Basically I needed to hit rock bottom.

And then, today...I prayed hard ( as did other people) that I would finally get to see an awesome Doctor who would finally take me seriously when it came to Ransom's throwing up issues. I prayed and I prayed and then I sat in the doctor's office waiting room for thirty minutes and I prayed...and then I got the biggest BUTT of a Doctor ever! I mean, seriously, I will be writing the most scathing review of this Dude EVER. Doctor are. not. cool.
Anyway, he treated me like I was an idiot, he was condescending and basically told me to start "propping your baby up after you feed him." which basically meant he hadn't listened to a word I said. Since Ransom throws up WHILE he's eating...its kinda hard to see how he sits AFTER is gonna do any good.
But, I don't know...somewhere between the rude and unhelpful doctor and the parking lot I just got this sense of peace. That once again God had answered "no" and so OBVIOUSLY I needed to stop worrying about Ransom. He's gaining weight relatively consistently, he's perky and mostly happy ( except when he's throwing up) and so I need to let this go for a bit. I say this also because yesterday *I* went to the Doctor. I had some unexpected medical issues arise and called at the last minute, and not only was I able to get an appointment, but I was able to see the Doctor who basically SAVED my uterus after Ransom was born ( I'm a big fan of say the least), and she was able to help me a lot. So, I guess my point here is that God totally took care of me yesterday. So why can I not believe that He isn't taking care of Ransom right now-even if its not as easy to see?!
And so I'm going to take my "no" answers and be grateful.

Oh. And I also got to go to Target today without my child. And that was a pretty nice bonus about today too.

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