June 29, 2011

Face the music

Friends, we've been living on borrowed time here in the Wilson Household. Or at least that is what it has felt like since Brett got back from his deployment in 2009. We have been really really blessed ever since. So blessed that I had forgotten what it could be like. What the Army could do.
Since Brett got back he's been to the Captain Career Course-which since it wasnt a deployment, felt like a dream and he often got home around 3pm ( saying nothing of the hours and hours of homework he had to do once he got home...) and then he did several other "courses" with significant breaks between each one all leading up to Ranger School. So, once again I was spoiled with evening with my husband. We had people over to dinner twice a week, we watched Startrek together. Then Ranger School-which, yes, it was awful, but you KNOW its gonna be AWFUL. You miss your husband but you know not to expect him at the end of the day and you look forward to when its over. And then Brett was put on staff at Brigade headquarters. We'd have a long day here and there, but "long" usually meant 6:30 or 7. And I was very much lulled into a false sense of security.
Now, I knew deep down that it would come to an end, that Brett would become a Company Commander and the days of him leaving at 4am and coming home at 9 would once again be a part of my life. And I told myself that I needed to "prepare" that I should sit down with God and have Him "sort me out" before we got started so I wouldn't have the nasty attitude that I had when Brett was a Platoon Leader. ( go ready my blog circa 2008 for a brief example)....
But, to be honest I figured I had time to prepare and I just put it out of my mind as I do most things that are unpleasant.
However, God has apparently decided to give me a nudge. He's decided to give me a small preview of what's to come so that I will, in fact, have that sit down with Him.
Brett got a new boss and as of this week he's gotten home-earliest 8pm....Monday it was 9 and it looks like it'll ( hopefully?) be nine again.... .
Now I am about to be really honest so PLEASE don't judge ( especially you ladies who's hubbies are deployed right now...believe me, you have it MUCH worse than I do!! YOU DEFINITELY WIN), but this is what I hate most about the Army. The time when, for all intents and purposes, you should have a "normal" looking life but instead you never see your husband, and in turn he never ever sees his son ( granted, Ransom saw him for 5 minutes this morning before Brett headed back into work while Ransom was eating breakfast), you expect the Army to be awful when they are deployed, but believe me it can be awful other times too...but honestly...this is NO WAY to live! And this is what I'm talking about. I need to somehow come to grips with this lifestyle. Find the silver lining, work out the good. Otherwise the next two years are going to be some really downer blog posts.
Ok, thanks for letting me vent. Now I will immediately post a funny post so as to brush over this one.

As I pushed publish on the post I got a text from Brett saying: : Tonight will be extra bad. Still not sure how long I will be. ( 8:44pm) 

1 comment:

just lei said...

well, its not just the Army.....my hubs just called me about staying another day at the rig (which would make 11 days since i saw him last)...while i don't know what its like to be living and moving around a la army life, i do understand what you're going through and it sucks.... whats been making me laugh lately is scanning high school pics for the reunion in sept......so go ahead, find the craziest funniest weirdest pic and post it somewhere... :-) prayers and cheers, friend!