One thing that I learned relatively quickly after finding out I was having twins, is that there are a TON of people that wish they had or could have twins. Who knew? I can't even count how many ladies have shared with me their envy/excitement at the prospect of having double the babies. My first thought was to feel guilty. I was not one of those girls. After some serious reflection I do remember a phase when I was about 8 where I wanted twins. That was probably brought on by owning the "Heart Family"- a generic barbie knockoff family that comprised of a Mom, Dad, and twin boy and girl. I named them Eric and Erica. Totally ridiculous names for twins, since we all know that on Day ONE you would get tongue tied and call them by the wrong name. But then again, as an eight year old I was not thinking on a practical level. Thus the desire for twins. My other positive memory of twins was from the Anne of Green Gables series- there were tons of twins in those books. Authors are often equally romantic when it comes to childbirth and child-rearing as 8-year-old girls. Yet, here I am...practical,unromantic, adult Abigail....11 weeks pregnant with twins. And let me tell you, I am humbled. Super super humbled. I have several dear and close friends who are dealing with infertility in varying degrees. They would like just one baby, thank you very much. I have other dear friends who have experienced the devastation of loosing babies. A pain I cannot begin to fathom. I sat near a woman at my Obgyn briefing (HEY, thanks Army Medicine for making my baby experience so totally impersonal....geez), anyway, I sat near a woman who was pregnant after having a reverse tubes tied surgery....Why? Because she lost her first baby after two months and didn't think she could deal with the heartache again. Wow. But now she's nervously going ahead, trying again. And I hope beyond hope that she finds happiness again.
So, I'm not going to feel guilty, I know the Lord is mysterious with His gifts. But, what I am going to do is NOT complain about the morning sickness, the already ridiculous weight gain....and all the other "inconveniences" to come. For bottom line, children are a blessing from above and I want to delight in my double blessing in every way that I can.
I will never ever ever take for granted the blessing that we have been given to have an already healthy son and the prospect of more. Friends, may I never speak flippantly about the joy/struggles of parenthood....for I know it is a priviledge.
This past week I got to meet my brandspankin-new niece Arulai. She's gorgeous in every way and I love her so much already. And really when I held her in the hospital I couldn't help but think ahead seven months ( or so) to when I'm giving birth. Hopefully it will be as joyous. Hopefully things will go well. I know that twins equals possible complications but all I could think about when holding my adorable niece was how incredible it will be to hold TWO babies. Can a heart even hold all that love? I'm not sure. But I think we're willing to try.