September 23, 2012

The changing of the seasons

It is my favorite time of year in Georgia right now, the sky always seems bluer and there is a crispness in the air in the mornings that makes you want to take really long walks. The weather starts to get perfect, highs in the low 70s and I start to obsess about pumpkins...pumpkin decorations, pumpkin flavored everything, and I start to crave soups and heavy pieces of bread ....but not this year.

This year is different. This year is hopefully a one of a kind, and I have to keep reminding myself that, just like fall in Georgia, it will come and go. This year Ransom and I are in muggy, hot Houston for my favorite months of the year.  And while I'm holding on to fall in the only way I know how-pumpkin spiced lattes from Starbucks-I'm trying to accept that this fall is just not going to be the same.

But it is important to acknowledge seasons, isn't it? My friend Miranda lives in Hawaii where, from what I hear, it's always beach weather...yet I know her heart, and I know she's probably drinking pumpkin spiced lattes too...sometimes we have to make our seasons what they should be....and so I've been thinking about the one I'm in right now...And how I can personally make it a little better...

I can't tell you how hard it is to be far away from Brett right now, to think about facing scary doctors appointments and dark nights of not sleeping without him next to me. It's hard to see our cute son learning and growing and doing adorable things knowing that Brett is missing him like crazy. And yet, I  hear the little whispered reminder from Above that this is just a season, and so I ask the Lord to draw our family together even when we are physically apart....and I ask Him to draw me closer to Himself during those hard times, especially since I should be relying on God and not my earthly husband during those rough times anyway!

It is hard to be on bed rest, it is hard to have to rely on the sacrifice of loved ones for your day to day care. But I have found that in just the two days we've been in our "The Lord Provides" house ( as I like to call this amazing gift) it has been easier to just lay around here than when I was at home, there is just something about your own space that really makes me want to clean and organize and do, but here I am much more willing to sit. But, what will I do with all that sitting? Besides trying to be as involved as possible in Ransom's upbringing....I want to use this time more wisely. Let's just say I'll keep the excessive watching of Gossip Girl to the times when I inevitably can't sleep every night and spend my days on things a little more worthy of thought. One of the greatest blessings of this season has been the correspondence with others that has sharing in our pain and struggles, friends have also opened up about their reminds me that we are all fighting battles great and small...and more than ever I am aware of the great power of prayer. As much as I am grateful for others lifting us up in their prayers, I am reinvegurated to pray more myself...friends with illnesses, at risk pregnancies, job loss, relationship troubles, life cross-roads....these are all important to the Lord and I hope I can do a better job of lifting them up as they have lifted me up. After all, this is a Season....and at some point it will be over, I do not want to look back on it and see how I missed out but instead I want to look back at how it was used....used to point me closer to the Mark, closer to what is truly important. I want to look back and see Life rather than Longing for something that I can't have. So here is to Autumn 2012...may it be a good one.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your journey. It is gives hope and some leveling to our own challenges.

The Spychallas said...

Dearest friend,

1) I LOVE when you mention me in a post. It totally made me smile.

2) I LOVE what you said about having to make our own seasons sometimes, and yes, it's true. I have been drinking pumpkin spice lattes and lighting my fall smelling candle and dreaming of all things pumpkin and apple. Lauren and I plan to not let autumn pass us by, despite not having the usual markers.

3) I LOVE that you are a constant encouragement, no matter what you are going through. You amaze me. Your strength amazes me. And your faith amazes me. You are a constant source of inspiration, especially as you talked about wanting to look back and see life rather than longing. Thank you.

4) I LOVE YOU! And I am lifting you and Brett and Ransom and Tabitha up in prayer daily. No matter the distance between us, you are never far away from my heart. :)