The Evil Empire

Its true. I've become a complete Starbucks junky. It happened pretty slowly ( as most drug habits do) that I hardly noticed. For one thing there is a Starbucks a walking distance from my house, for another thing they have a drive-thru ( nice for those moments when you're running late for church and you need a caffeine hit), and then on top of that I started meeting all my girls there for our "dates"...every time I'd say, "where do you wanna meet?" they'd always give me that location...so what was I gonna do? I also found that when I got lonely I was more than likely going to run into someone I knew there...two people from Bible Study actually work there and then it seems the rest of the Navigator crew seem to congregate there at all hours of the day....sooooo....that's how it happened.

And that's how I ended up adding up how much money I spent at Starbucks this month and I found out that...well.....its pretty bad.


So after some investigation into ways to save money at Starbucks ( including a trip to Costco to see if they still sold gift cards for reduced prices-sadly, they don't, its only a holiday deal)....today I ended up getting a gift card. For one thing its a way to easily keep track of how much money I'm spending. And for another thing with the gift card I can use their internet access ( which is important since this weekends developments of no wi-fi at the house) AND I get free soy. That says me 40 cents a drink!!! That's a LOT!


So that's the new plan. And I'm trying to not think about how the old version of me is totally judging this new version of me. *sigh*

Then I got back...

Well, I went to Vancouver ( canada) and now I'm back! It was a short visit, only one night, but I felt like I'd been gone AGES when I finally pulled in my driveway last night ( the traffic coming back into Washington was nasty...but I guess I should have thought of that since it WAS a Friday night)....and apparently I was gone long enough for the free internet I've been using for the past few months to DISAPPEAR. I'm starting to feel the withdrawals already....eeee! Most of the things that I had on my to-do list today had to do with the internet and out of desperation I had to head to Panera Bread ( I'm having flashbacks of Kansas as we speak)....

Anyway for time management purposes look for details of my time in Vancouver on Tabitha's Blog....and I will just add that I feel as though we made great use of our time and did everything on a pretty low budget! Yay! Go us! ( and our totally awesome guidebook that I got at the library before I left!)....and I will hopefully share pictures in days to come, sadly I forgot my camera connector so I cannot upload pictures right now......let's all pray that I find new free internet in my apartment soon....

I'm now off to Wal-Mart for supplies in making my costume for a ministry party tonight....they sure didn't give me a long time to come up with anything!

All aboot canada

So I'm headed up and over the boarder tomorrow...I'm picking up Bethany in Seattle and then we're hitting the open road to go see Tabitha in Vancouver. It's gonna be great! my only worries currently are that the work the chiropractor did on the giant knot in my neck have left me with a significant headache...not fun for the driving tomorrow...but HEY! Prayers work, Baby! My sore throat from yesterday was significantly better today so I'm optimistic.

I think I might still try to convince Tabs to come home with me...just for a couple of days....because I'm SO excited about seeing her, I really doubt that two days is going to be enough. *sigh* Oh well, I'll be happy with what I get.

I've packed my bag of "car snacks" for the road and I'm planning on getting a large coffee...so I think this is going to be a good roadtrip! :-)

the miracle of sleep.

I'm hoping that tonight a miracle will take place and the sore throat I've been fostering all day will magically disappear. It pretty much has to since Bethany and I are off to visit Tabitha on Thursday and I pretty much MUST be in top form for that trip since its just an overnighter and I want to pack as much fun and time with Tabs in as I possibly can and being sick is not part of that mathematical equation.

Speaking of mathematical equations I actually used Algebraic proofs as part of an illustration on Romans chapter 4 at Bible Study tonight. Ummm....yeah....it just popped it my head and it turned out to be a good example for what I was talking about, but I was sorta surprised that my mind would retain that information from nine years ago just like that...

So, today I dropped the sister off at the airport and prayed all the way home that she'd make it on her flight ok and that all would be well...traveling makes me nervous, even when I'm not the one traveling. ( she is currently home safe and sound).

I then went about my to-do list of all the things I've neglected while Anna and I were partying down like it was 2005 ( the year when we partied down the most, just in case you were wondering..). First, I got my oil changed at the Jiffy Lube that is conveniently located near my house...and boy was it Jiffy! It was actually pretty funny, I've never seen so many employees at a oil change place before, and they had pretty much zero customers, so when I arrived they surrounded my car as though I was in the Daytona 500 and they had my car oil-changed, vacuumed, aired up, fluid checked and glass cleaned in under 10 minutes. I didn't even have time to check my emails on my phone! It was a little more expensive then the place I went to in Lakewood ( near my old apartment), but I had a coupon and plus if time is money, then that was a STEAL!

In other news, I had an impromptu coffee date with Tina and did Bible Study, as well as visited the Christian bookstore to pick up stickers for my bible study girls ( they are now proud owners of sticker charts and stickers for their memory verses...I believe that one is NEVER too old for a sticker chart)....all in all it was a productive day, but by the time it came to Bible Study time I was pretty worn out! This sore throat is not making me a happy camper!

This post as officially run out of steam...sleepy time is now.

I Promise...

I know, I know...I haven't blogged in days! But that's because a LOT has been happening and I've had my sister here, which basically means all those things that I'd normally write out into a well thought-out blog post have instead been spoken in long run on sentences to my sister. Lovely. Too bad none of you where there to see it all go down, because if my sister and I do one thing well, it is talk and laugh and talk some more ( with hand motions and facial expression to punctuate.)

We've had a grand old time, and I'm sad that she's leaving in the morning. *sigh* I'm trying not to get sad about it, because really its been such a lovely blessing that it would be wrong to look this gift horse in the mouth! Nope, instead I will just say this...

We ate indian food and watched free Redbox movies apparently EVERYONE is getting into free movie mondays and wednesdays! I know Katie, sure is! ha! )...I got us out of a ten dollar scam job at a Tacoma parking lot by tailgating a guy leaving ( we had entered the parking lot by accident only moments before and had found ourselves TRAPPED by the high prices!) we ate dinner at a fancy restaurant where Anna used her deathray eyes of doom on the waiter thus getting us a free dessert ( he neglected us all night! BAD! Free dessert? GOOD!) ...We had a very successful shopping trip that included a trip to the movie theatre to see Duplicity ( not as good as the trailers made it out to be...) and a beautiful sunset on the way home....We visited the Burke Museum's Coffee's of the World Exhibit and drank free coffee and laughed at fossils ( because who doesn't?), followed by lunch with Bethany and Liz at a yummy pizza place, Tulla Bella..... We survived a near death experience when something hit my windshield as we drove home, on the freeway, shattering the glass of the windshield so badly that shards of glass landed in both our laps!....we worked out several times, but probably not enough to burn off all the calories that we ate, but then again, it was vacation time and calories don't count on vacations....we went to church and we went to Bible Study and Anna got to meet many of the people that I love here in Washington...the lovely girls that I talk about the most, they now have faces to go with the names.....and we also watched unmentionable amounts of The O.C., we got the car's windshield fixed ( see above) and braved the evils of Army Bureaucracy to get me new parking tags ( for the new windshield)....oh....and of COURSE we drank lots of sub-par coffee ( nothing is as good as Java Jacks in Texas, right? hehe!) and....

we ate cupcakes.


Sisters. They are a glorious gift! What a lovely week!

The Sister

She is one of the few people ( I can count on one hand) that I'd probably never get tired of having around.

A life worth celebrating.

So, last night I had the opportunity to see a legend. Seriously, you may have never heard of Bob Boardman, but ever since I heard him speak at our bible study last year he and his wife, Jean were stuck in my mind and there they have stayed.

Reasons for Sticking:
First of all, I want to grow up and be just like this couple. The thing that struck me as beyond remarkable is that here was a couple who are in their mid80s and here was Bob causally mentioning that he'd been "meaning" to come down and speak to our little bible study ever since it got started, but that he and Jean had been doing nonstop missions work all year and had just had the chance to make it down.... This was all said very apologetically, of course. And here was someone who for all intents and purposes should be "retired"!!! They were doing far more than I can HOPE to do for the Kingdom of God!

The first thing you'll notice about Bob is that he speaks in a horse whisper. This is due to injuries that he received at the Battle of Okinawa in WWII ( he also lost his trigger finger...) and the second thing you'll notice about Bob is how much he loves the Lord and thirdly how much he loves his wife. Pretty good order :-)

Anyway, the first time I heard him speak he talked a little bit about his life story, and while it was well over a year ago and therefore I've probably mixed up my facts.... the thing I can make note of is that while he was injured at Okinawa, Japan, after he joined the Navigators he and his wife went back to Japan as missionaries ( they were actually married in Tokyo). Pretty amazing. Here was couple who have truly given their lives to God's work and have NOT SLOWED DOWN.
Brett and I both went away from that bible study, struck by the desire to live a life such as these....to be so outwardly focused that you hardly notice the years go by....

This past week we found out through Navigator links that Bob had been diagnosed with Stage Four cancer...and that on Monday night he would be giving his final sermon.
This I was NOT going to miss!

After recieving a "death sentence" only two weeks before- hundreds of people gathered to celebrate this mans life-Americans, many of them ex-WWII Marines, Japanese, and Koreans all gathered together, all had obviously been touched by these two lives.... it was really amazing to see such an outpouring in such a short amount of time, so many people traveling from out of town to come be a part of this night.

Bob and his wife Jean both spoke and I took lots of notes-but here are some things I'll share here-just so I won't forget. Hopefully not ever. And may one day I go out in such style!

Bob said that after hearing this news that he had stage four cancer he'd had a lot of time to think, and he thought the most at night-"Your greatest fears come up at night...and my greatest fear is that God's going to heal me!"

He then introduced his wife, saying ever so sweetly that after 56 years of marriage, if he had to do life all over-he'd still choose her. ( awwwwww!)

She shared that their motto through their life together had been:
By God's Grace and For God's Glory
( if there was ever anything worthy of being embroidered on a pillow, if I knew how, THAT would be something worth embroidering!)

And then she shared the verse she was resting on during this difficult time,
"They do not fear bad news;
they confidently trust the Lord to care for them.
They are confident and fearless
and can face their foes triumphantly.

Ps112:7-8

Honestly, that showed so much more than just a few words could express....I think about the idea of loosing Brett, after only having in my life for a few years, and then imagining a life without him if I'd been with him for FIFTY! How much harder it would be to let go. Yet, to have that kind of faith and love for her Lord....She ended her little talk with this heartbreaking remark:

God gave him to me, and now I'm giving him back.

Now, I wish I could some how recreate exactly what Bob shared, he speaks in oneliners so its really hard to paraphrase this man, but above all I was struck by his Love for his Lord, his Hope in the future that He had in Christ and by his Desire that others know this One that He loved so much....

Now, obviously, its not very time efficient to have to be a Christian for 65 years to prove that God is real, just because you're devoted to something that Long.....but I was very much struck by the reality of this man's relationship with his Savior. He said that he'd read the Old Testament over 55 times ( at least from when he started counting!) and he'd read the new testament over 120 times! He said that he reads enough each day to, "Transfer him into another realm, otherwise this world will break you down. But His Word takes you into the kingdom of God, the kingdom where the Lord Jesus is....The word of God has the power of the Holy Spirit which can bring about good relationships, keep us from going on tangents, and having conflicts.....the Word of God brings about repentance, forgiveness and keeps the conscience clear..."
He also shared about how the Word of God brings us to the Presence of Jesus, which brought him to tears, he then recounted a story from his time in the military, of experiencing the presence of God so tangibly that he actually reached out to touch Him, little did he know that these wonderful experiences with Jesus would soon be followed by the "valley of the shadow of death", and that the Lord was truly preparing him for his experience at Okinawa....This brought him to his final thoughts which were of the great delight of getting to finally meet Jesus.
And then in his horse whisper he finished with, " If I could sing, I would sing the song, "I can only Imagine"

An my only thought was that one day, very soon Bob Boardman is going to be able to sing again....


I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

Rain, Rain go away...

My sister's coming to visit on Wednesday. This means I must clean house. ( not really, but its always best to have a "reason" to clean house or it just isn't as motivating). So today was all about being domestic, cleaning, grocery shopping that sort of thing.

So there I am, minding my own business in the Commissary when I run into a guy from the Navigators...or rather he runs into me. Literally. With his cart. So after that little bit of awkwardness. I continued on with my shopping to find a christmas present equivalent of shopping joy...my favorite, favorite thing to eat is Morning Star Vegetarian products...they have the yummiest "Pizza Vegetarian Burger Patties" and they have the GREATEST spinach artichoke poppers that are low fat and low calorie and pretty much small morsels of heaven ( its about all I eat.).....annnnyway, they are NEVER EVER on sale but today low and behold there were $.75 off coupons!!! WHOAAAAA! So I went on a total binge and got several boxes of all my favorites to stock my freezer!

So off I head to the check out line, a place where I pride myself on being fast and efficient ( the self checking line, that is...) So there I am waiting in line and I turn around and there is a girl who came to Bible Study a few times and then graciously bowed out to join a church group instead ( no biggie, just glad she got plugged in somewhere), so we do the usual 'how are yous" and then I proceed akwardly to start checking out my groceries...and that's when things took a baaaad turn.

First off ALL of my veggies refused to ring up and with each one the machine would bark out, "need assistance to ring up this item!" finally I tracked down one ( approx 3min.) of the teeny tiny asian ladies that seem to be the only commissary workers and she came over to help me-but then informed me she'd have to do a price check and ran off with my mushrooms in toe...I then proceeded to wait, trying to avoid eye contact with the girl behind me in line ( approx 5 minutes)....she finally returned with my mushrooms and then began the AGONIZING process of trying to scan my NINE coupons -each of them got rejected at least twice before going through...by now I could not pretend the girl behind me didn't exist and I proceeded to apologize as each of my coupons wouldn't scan....I finally walked away ( 15 minutes after getting there) with a savings of $6.75....was it worth it? Hardly. I was so embarrassed! That girl is DEFINITELY not coming back to Bible Study after that!!!!

Honestly! You would think going to the grocery store at 1:30 in the afternoon on a monday would mean you wouldn't have to run into people you know...but apparently I was WRONG!

I know, I know...

I'm not entirely sure why I couldn't produce a blog post this weekend, afterall I did have a pretty eventful couple of days including an idiot encounter at the bakery ( yup! my cake for Amy's baby shower said the following when I got it, "Welcom Baby B" and that's WITH the quotation marks as...who knows why there were quotation marks...*sigh* ) But other than that moment of Drama to start my day the shower was totally delightful. For one thing I had wonderful friends to help me set up, clean up and make conversation with people who weren't feeling included....honestly, I hardly felt like I was hosting the shower at all! The other delightful thing about the shower was my long awaited, long planned onesie decorating. Seriously, it was SUCH fun to see what people decorated their onesie with, the breakout artists and the random pictures... all around good fun! And of course, baby showers are ALWAYS fun because they have the inevitable opening of teeny tiny gifts that cannot HELP but be ADORABLE.

And then there were days...

Its been a fast week, full of some good things:

So, in no particular order:

This week it snowed, rained, and it was sunny. I experienced all four seasons in a five day period. This isn't particularly "good" but it was interesting! And I didn't get bored!

This week I had fruitful talks with some of the girls in the Nav ministry. How I love these girls! I am often struck by my own shortcomings in trying to show them more about Christ...but this week I was reminded that most of the time they end up showing ME more about Christ! Excellent!

This week worked out more than I've gotten to in a while. Less headaches, more energy! That's how it seems to work!

This week I forced myself to go to the PWOC bible study on Fort Lewis (its so darn early!). It was there that I had some great discussion with women about the hardships that deployment can bring on marriage-In many ways I am grateful that I am experiencing some of those hardships now because I see the great need to help others who might not know just how Wonderful it is to have trust in God for all things....I'm working through these problems myself, but its encouraging to know they will be useful to someone else in the future.

This week I planned a trip to Canada in a few weeks now that Tabithaofficially lives there.

This week I got the surprise new that my sister is coming to visit NEXT WEEK!!! This is almost too much excitement to bare.

This week I planned a trip to Texas in May. This makes me so happy because I'll get to be there for Mother's Day, my mom's birthday, a friends wedding, and a day shy of my mother-in-laws birthday!! So much celebrating that I get to be a part of!!! YAY!

This week I got to say goodbye to a good friend who's headed off to Iraq, by eating Indian food and watching a chick-flick*. Danielle was one of the very first people I met when I moved to Washington waaaay back when, and I'm sad to see her go, but I know God will do good things with her over "there".

This week I got a present in the mail:



Its actually made out of brass but it looks like thread...and its AWESOME! The perfect "reminded" of my sweet husband who puts up with me even when I complained about buying guns. ;-)

* I totally enjoyed the newest chick flick Confessions of a Shopaholic, it was girlie and cute and had plenty of eye-candy in the form of shoes and bags galore, and it was pretty much without the usual sexual horribleness that I hate about movies these days! two thumbs up!

Now I'm off to a "surprise" birthday party ( the surprise was ruined by facebook...sad, but true) and I'm getting all the last minute prep work done for the totally wonderful-amazing-perfectly-executed Baby shower that I'm throwing tomorrow ( cross your fingers!) !

Implied.

I know that I don't have to tell you this, but I miss Brett. Kinda a lot. Kinda all the time.

just one hour.

I don't know if I comment on this every year (I'm too lazy to look at my archives) but I'm pretty sure time-changes are made to torture a person.

One hour makes ALLLL the difference in my little world! But, this week has been so nice and busy already that I haven't had too much time to complain to myself. hehe

I've had to make lists this week to make sure I get everything done, but there is one thing I've noticed- I thrive on this kind of thing. I SO delight in having a busy enough schedule that I need lists and calendars. I so wish that I did not delight in it so much because it means that when I'm NOT busy Bad Things Happen...but instead of dwelling on that lets dwell on the fact that I love people and parties and planning ( oh, and I also love alliteration) and that this week has plenty of both! Excellent.

Oh and I'm surrounded by Babies. Everyone is having Babies. Babies Babies Babies. *sigh*

The One Thing

Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. It is, in fact, the one thing that still stands when all else has fallen.

I Cor 13:7-8 ( Philips Bible)

Seriously. That Happened.

Things that happened today:
Today I bought a gun
Today I talked with a nasty old man who had just finished discussing the finer points of getting a divorce with a gang member. I had to smile and play nice because I wanted said nasty old man to give me a copy of his gun sellers license.

True story:

Ok, so first off...BRETT is the one who actually bought the gun, but I'm a super-duper submissive wife who does nice things without complaining and will even go to great lengths like getting lost in Lakewood trying to find the gun store and then having to put up with a couple of jerks who sell guns so that I could then mail tons-o-money to the guy that Brett bought the gun from so that it can be delivered....I will do all of that because of love. And because I'm sure I'll get something good out of it eventually ;-)
I also went to that art gallery opening that I was telling you about earlier this week, but I ended up going all by myself, which I did NOT want to do because I just KNEW this gallery was going to be on the WRONG SIDE OF THE TRACKS...but I sucked it up because that's what loving on people is all about, right?! So I went to the wrong side of town ( almost getting lost, but not) and then I remembered that my gun-happy husband would be LESS THAN thrilled if I walked the two blocks to the gallery in the pitch darkness of the Tacoma ghetto night all on my lonesome-so I called Amy and she talked to me for two minutes while I walked to the gallery...that way, if you know, I got shot or something Amy would be the first to know. And she could then pass on my last words to Brett.

Incidently my last words would be something along the lines of: GUNS KILL PEOPLE! AND NOW WE OWN SOME TOO!!! IRONY!

Actually, I'm still working on the wording of my last words so luckily I missed death in Tacoma tonight so I'll have more time to perfect them...

Oh, and the art gallery was worth it. Apparently in the three years this girl has been inviting people to go to her galleries I'm the FIRST to show up!! WHAT?!? Seriously?! Art is so cool!!! And now I'm happy to say I have yet another talented friend. ;-)

Brought to you by my favorite things:

I've been listening to this song on repeat. Mat Kearney's Breathe In Breathe Out


I've been craving the Strawberry Nirvana smoothie from Jamba Juice pretty much constantly. My saving grace is that I have to drive out of the way to get one....so I've been living it up Recession style and making them at home-easier on the pocket book and probably better for me: Frozen Mixed Berries, half a banana, vanilla soy milk and low fat vanilla yogurt and ice in your blinder and you're rolling in yummy!

I watched Secret LIfe of Bees last night and totally cried. A good little growing up movie that also brought me back to the thankful conclusion that as many troubles as we have in this country we have come Far since the Civil Rights movement. Thank goodness...so many have suffered for what we live today!


I've been reading the archives of this website for a while now ( I think I'm somewhere in 2005 right now)...she's one of those "famous bloggers" who actually makes a living off her blog ( JEALOUS!)....but I am struck by her honesty about being a mother and her struggles with depression. Warning though, she uses profanity like it was going out of style.

other than this...

At Bible Study last night I admitted to the girls that my toes had been tingling for several days now and that I thought it was really weird. Lucky for me I have two nurses and a nursing student in my small group and they all felt like it just might be possible that my headaches and tingling toes are connected, in say, a pinched nerve in my back or something...

So those of you who have recommended the chiropractor to me in the past, rejoice. Because I'm going! Tomorrow!

I'll let you know what happens...but I can't tell you how relieved I'd be if my weird medical problems could finally be solved! Of course, I have to actually pay to go to the chiropractor...which is a low blow to my usually free medical mind-but after almost a month of solid headaches I'd be willing to shell out some serious dough if they promise to make me better. :-(

In other news, here is what's going on with me OTHER than medical drama:

Today I went to PWOC ( for those of you who don't remember: Protestant Women of the Chapel...something that I was a part of in Kansas...) here at Fort Lewis. While it might have just looked like I was innocently going to chapel in actuality I was 'giving up' on ever finding a job and therefore I'm now getting involved in day time activities. *sigh*

On Thursday: Meeting up with a friend for coffee. Going to the Chiropractor. Hopefully finding a cure. Basically the usual.

On Friday I'm going an art opening at a local art gallery after meeting a new friend at Bible Study and finding out that she's an artist! Should be fun, and I'm hoping to slip some Indian food into the mix if I can ;-)

On Saturday I'm throwing a low key girls night at my house for the Navigator Girls...at least I'm hoping it'll be low key! I really just want there to be more social times when all the girls can hang out and get to know each other better....I think it'll ultimately make our small group times better-you know, more sharing, more openness...you know the drill ;-)

....

I tell you all this because I'm just so DARN excited to have things on my calendar again....the last few weeks have been rough with a capital R! I never, ever want to repeat that again. Ever.

Luckily next week I've got Amy's baby shower to get ready for! YAY! If I spread it out ( like Joey on Friends would) I'm sure I can make baby shower prep take up the whole week. ;-)

Tonight I'm watching movies. Australia is on the agenda as well as Secret Life of Bees....annnnnnd....I got them both for FREEEEE! Sweet, right? Well, now for a limited time you can rent movies for free at a Redbox near you if you have the promotion code, go to this website every Monday ( and for the month of March every Wednesday too!) and get the code you'll need! ( thanks to Amy The Savingest Housewife Around for this tip).

Uplifting and Kid safe.

That is the catch phrase of the Christian radio station here in Washington. This station is “not God’s best” as my friend Amy would so eloquently put it. It is possible that it is kid safe, but it is NOT “uplifting”. It is the essence of watered down christianity and everything that I hate about "religiosity"....
Which leaves me with the one truly awesome thing about radio in Washington which is The Mountain. This radio station is everything a radio station should be. They are U2 fans, the dejays seem to legitimately love music and actually KNOW about music-In fact, most of the time I feel like they are not reading off of wikipedia when they talk about bands and music trivia. This radio station is something that I will miss ( and already have missed when I was in Kansas-aka. Land of country music) when I leave WA again….
But, anyway, back to the Christian music. Now, I’m not one of those people that believes that to be a Christian you should listen to Christian music…or even that other music is “bad for you”….I’m also not one of those “other people” who hate contemporary Christian music…I’m somewhere soundly in the middle. And sometimes on particularly bad days when I'm missing Brett or having a headache ( so basically most days)....I like something that will make me think of "Holier Things".
SO! Since I can’t listen to the Christian radio station ( because listening to that dribble will make one HAVE roadrage if you didn’t already) I have discovered something TRULY glorious.

So....my phone allows me to listen to Pandora ( the greatest thing to hit the internet since google) on my phone, and my car allows me to plug my phone into my radio speakers-which BASICALLY means that I get FREE satellite radio. No commercials, the ability to skip songs and a HUMNUNGO range of music to listen to....
I love it.

the aftermath of a particular breakdown.

Last week was NOT awesome.

Basically you combine a lot of pain in the head with inactivity and you've got the equation to a pretty downtrodden person.

Anyway, over the weekend I realized a few things-first of all, I cannot not MAKE my weeks busy. Sometimes they just aren't going to be stellar in that department, there will not be enough people to hang out with me, there will not be enough errands to run, there will not be anything fun to look forward to...and it'll make me feel sad and a tad lost...and I'll basically be left with my own thoughts and fears to keep me company. Not. Pretty.

But, I've got to be ok with that. I've got to Trust and have Faith and Seek even on those kind of days. And believe me its a LOT harder to do then it looks! Basically, I'm talking about being an anti-farweather-friend of Jesus. Pretty much go in the opposite direction as Peter on the night he betrayed Him. This is also hard to do, because if you think about it, that's what human nature is all about! We're all busily looking for distractions and answers that AREN'T Christ...and none of them are working. So, instead we must choose the hard road-the road that goes harder and looks deeper and believes in the Love even when its not super obvious and on the surface promising you a Perfect Life. Instead, its offering you a tougher, bumpier and full of pot-holes road-but a road that leads the Cross. So basically, its a much better road.

SooOoooOOOO...new week, new month. This coming week is looking almost as dreary as last week ( in the "busy-ness" department), and yes...P.S. All my job applications were pretty much denied. All of them. Which leaves me most certainly jobless for the near to distant future. So somewhere between now and then I need to become OK with not being a busy busy bee.
So the new week and the new month are promising to be all about seeking after the Harder, Bumpier Roads and not being satisfied with watching Alias Season 5 ( for lack of a better analogy-even though Season Five is pretty great.)....

My dearest Blog, I'm continually shocked with how very slow I am to learn some lessons and sometimes I worry that I'll never learn and that I'm destine to be this Silly and this Wrong for the rest of my days...luckily I've been promised:

being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Phil 1: 6