I thought things revolved around ME!!!

So, this week has been totally bad. That's already been established. But, you know what ELSE?!
Well, this week I deemed myself well enough to start working out again ( plus I had gained five pounds in a week)...therefore I syched myself up to go to the little gym that our apartment complex provides ( remember yesterday and the Judge Judy?!)....So, I was TOTALLY disappointed when my dreams of having an hour working out "fly by" while watching Oprah's "favorite things" episode where completely dashed by that weird couple composed of the giant black man and the tiny asian women who watch Judge Judy....but THAT IS NOT ALL....the giant man decided to do LUNGES. And he decided to do them IN FRONT of my stationary bike....and he decided to COUNT out loud...LOUDLY...

ONE....TWO....THREE.....etc. etc. THWERTEEN....( that's right, he misprounces thirteen every time. this makes it infinitely worse).

So, I made it through yesterday ( if you call fuming while working out "making it") ...but today I decided to avoid the wierd couple and go in the morning instead. Oh yes, I thought, it'll be great...Regis and Kelly are doing a special on "Atlantis" where Brett and I went on our honeymoon...thirty minutes will fly by ( who was I kidding with that hour business anyway?!).
I arrive and everything is peachy. The gym is empty. I turn on Regis and Kelly and have settled in to watch Kelly (without makeup!!!) swim with the dolphins-when WHO should come into the gym....WEIRD COUPLE!!!!!
Whaaaaat?! Its freaking 9am!! Why are they here?!?!!!!!
And then...just as weird man starts counting out his lunges....the craziest thing happens-which just goes to show that my life is a lot like Candid Camera...the television....DIES....

Which is the short version of why I cut my thirty minute workout down to twenty minutes today...because BELIEVE ME....ten minutes of hearing the number "thirteen" misprounced 5 times with no television to cut the sound is WAAAAAAAY TO LONG.

I have half a mind to ask weird couple to give me a time when they are NOT at the gym. Because seriously the gym should be my OWN PERSONAL workingout place, dont you think?!

update plus something good.

Ok, so yesterday was bad, today wasnt MUCH better but at least today I didnt have someone ruin my plans of working out to Oprah in the apartmentcomplex's gym and instead hogging the TV to watch Judge Judy ( I didnt know anyone WATCHED that trash!!!!) and one of my favorite customers did not fall down in the parking lot...( all of which happened yesterday along with Brett getting home at ELEVEN PM!!!!!)
So, yes, today has been dreary and sad but a little better: And I'm fighting off the depression with a serious force....does this remind anyone of Dunedin?! Seriously. Abigail does not do well without the sun. Incidently, did you know that the sun officially sets at 4pm now?! Geez, that's practically midafternoon!!!!
So, I just got a text from Brett saying that he thought he'd be home around 6ish. I gotta talk to him about this. Its actually better for him to just text me with "I love you, wish I could come home" rather than a particular ETA. Because I think that's what made yesterday so awful. I got a text from him nearly every hour with a NEW estimated home time...each time it was at least thirty minutes to an hour later than the text before....it was dreadful. I'd rather just not know.

Anyway. GOOD NEWS: I just got Sarah Plain and Tall on DVD from the library! How excited am I!?! I havent watched this since the days when I watched only the movies that Miss Kim from church had "edited" for us....my question now is, are their any kissing scenes in Sarah Plain and Tall that I've been missing out on like I was with Man from SnowyRiver?! Because that was hilarious.
I guess I'll just have to watch and see.

I'm ok, really, I promise

So, after sending two random and scattered emails to my father in the space of two hours...one stating that the sermon I had uploaded from the Mission's podcast had died on me 15 minutes in ( ironically the sermon was on self-pity...and while during those first fifteen minutes I had identified that, yes, "I am displaying some of those tendencies right now"...I had not reached the part of the sermon that would have gotten me OUT of such a state...)
and the second email was after I had spent an hour trying to "get credit history" by having a credit card...ironically, you need a credit card to get credit history, you cant get a credit card without credit history....
So, anyway, after those two emails I'm pretty sure Papa's going to worry about me. Darn it. I dont want him to do that...so instead....here's the blog that'll hopefully end all positive-like.

Anyway, all of this to say the last few hours have been kinda hardish. I burst into tears twice ( of course, unlike the rest of my family that includes REAL LIVE TEARS). Did some bible reading. wrote in my journal. wrote a message to my sister-in-law. and I prayed. and now i'm listening to "How deep the Father's love for us" over and over again on itunes. Because that's just how I roll...

You see, dear friends, while I have been mentally preparing myself for weeks for Brett's two weeks out in the field-I forgot about building up the proper defense against this week...this week has proven to be: yesterday Brett arrives home at 8:30...and then tonight....tonight I just got an text saying "probably more like 10:30"....yeah...well, its 10:39 now. I dont know what I'm MOST upset about...well, probably its the injustice of the idea that when Brett finally DOES get home tonight, he'll just have to get up 4 hours later and do it all over again. I've never been more protective of a person in my life. Army Strong, Army Sleepdeprived.
But, whatever the case...I realized tonight a few things about myself.
I like to be "self-sufficient". Which shows itself in the crazy-planning I've been doing for myself about "the two weeks". I have( had) pretty much convinced myself that all was going to be "perfectly fine" as long as I followed all my "keeping busy plans".
Of course, I forgot to really pray about it ( in passing doesnt count). And I also forgot to think about today rather than tomorrow. And most importantly I forgot about putting this day into His hands...to give him today and not just the days that I thought ( in my infinite wisdom) I would need His help.

To place my trust in Him is really ALL there is.

I'm reminded of the song that pretty much got me through 2005.
Way to go Hillsong:


.....My hope is in the Name of the Lord
Where my help comes from
You're my strength, my song.
My trust is in the name of the Lord
I will sing your praise, you are faithful

I need to remember this, I need to remember where my Help truly lies...not within myself...not in anyone else....there is NO other answer. For my Trust is truly in the Lord. For He really IS faithful.

Of course, I still dont have a credit history, and in the great sceme of things, I think that's what's truly important, don't you?!

"I should go Christmas Shopping"

That's what the inner voice is telling me today, but I think I'll ignore it. Afterall, its gorgeous outside...after three days of solid rain and no sun to speak of-the air is practically sparkling....so shopping seems like a dreadful way to bring it down. I hate shopping. Actually, strike that...I hate shopping this time of year-when I feel pressured to buy, buy, buy and I quite literally feel the crowds pressing in on me. meeeh.
Anyway, I'll wait until next week when Brett's gone and I can just stay at the malls until bed time. Boo! I miss Brett already and he's not even gone yet. Last night I had the silly thought pass through my mind that i couldnt have lived in Washington without being married to Brett because I need him to keep the bed warm. ( he's a really awesome heat-putter-outer)...and then I realized with a sinking heart that I'd have to turn up the heat next week for sure.

Work was sloooooow today, rudness abounded. Luckily the sun is still shining and I'm going to talk to Lydia on the phone. * happy sigh*

8ish

That's what time Brett said he'd be home tonight. So I figure I've got some time to blog... first of all, today was a day of Mail-Love.
I got THREE packages in the mail plus a birthday card. Thus the Birthday love continues :-). I'm terribly spoiled by all of you wonderful people who sent me sweet messages, cards, texts, phonecalls and packages. I've got the best friends/family in the world. Seriously.

In other news, our neighbors mike and katie brought back a sweet stomach virus with them from their thanksgiving break. I've only thrown-up once but I've felt pretty "ew" all day....just praying its a twenty-four hour thing...or maybe 48 hours. I could handle that. But NO MORE THAN THAT. Seriously, who else thinks I'm in the running for "sickest girl of the year"?!

I watched The Producers today. I never got around to seeing it when it came out a yearish or so back....and I gotta tell you, Matthew Brodrick with his little "security blanket" was hysterical!

I also worked with my boss today. He wasnt nearly as critical as he was the last time I worked with him, maybe ONE DAY he'll actually hear customers compliment me on my "best lattes"...that's right. I'm not bragging I'm just trying to make myself feel better-why does one always feel SO inadequate around ones boss?! Is it just me????

Right now I'm importing all my Christmas music onto my computer. Yay!!

thanks for the giving

So, yes...its been a while since I last blogged. A week in fact. But, it was a BUSY and FUN week that included a lot of family and food goodness and therefore I had not a second-even to myself in which I could have legistically spent blogging. So you shouldnt feel bad about me neglecting you. ;-)

I currently feel very blessed...After all the whirlwind of visitors and holidays ( thanksgiving and my birthday) I am left with a definite sense of contentment. I think it started with Louise leaving our Sunday night Bible Study a few weeks back and exclaiming how much she liked it, the people, the fellowship, the depth of study....and then, having my family come visit for a few days helped me continue to look at my life through a larger perspective to stop and say, "why yes! I DO have really nice friends and new family to share life with! And, hey, Washington's actually gorgeous when its not raining!!"-and to see that while there are some difficult things to contend with, ultimately these last four months of marriage/moving/life-changing have been truly helped along by the Almighty. Lots to be thankful for.

So, lets just go ahead and jump right on in to the Christmas season shall we?! Gosh, it seems like even though the media has been trying its best to push christmas on me sense early October I was still not prepared for the general outpouring of Christmas-hysteria on Friday....every time I drive past the Tacoma Mall I start to hyperventilate from all the cars! Buuut, even with all that I am actually really happy its almost December. Its going to be a trying month I can tell-you see, for the first two weeks I will be all by my lonesome ( brett's out on the field again) and then he'll come home and we'll have three christmas parties in a row and then we'll head off to Texas for two weeks ( !!)....which pretty much brings us to January. WHOA! Time is going to rush by!!!

At least for now, however, I am back in the swing of "normal" life...and shall try not to have TOO much of an 'after guests' depression occur. It helps that since the family left on Saturday night we've had three seperate "parties" at our house to 'help' eat up our leftovers...so that's kept me busy. :-)

family/friends

So, Louise left on Friday and I then went HARDCORE and tidy-ed the house, went to the commisary and bought a BUNCH-O-FOOD in preparation for Thanksgiving, did laundry and pretty much did all my 'prepare for guests' all over again ( it helped that I'd been up since 5:30 because of taking Louise to the airport...)
Josh ( Brett's brother) arrived on Saturday evening and thus the whirl of gaity that is the Wilson house of late continues...

Currently, Brett and Josh are playing Magic. I really need to take a picture of them....otherwise you wouldnt believe me when I explained the cute nerdiness of it all ( or geeky, I think they perfer geeky. anyway..). And I'm trying to catch up on household things....however, things just seem to be getting away from me lately. I keep forgetting things or messing up recipes of things I've made over and over again. This does not bode well for Thanksgiving. meh. Luckily my madre and sista will be here to pick up all the slack. YAY! I'm so excited....

Of course, dont think I've been doing ALL work...I also watched Sound of Music in bed and then took a very short mini nap this afternoon ....( thanks to Stacy for giving the great tip of going to my local library for DVDs from a long time ago-I've been digging the free rentals! And watching lots of movies I'd totally forgot about!!)

I'd also like to make a note of an event that happened this afternoon...I was trying to prepare lunch for Brett, Josh, Chuck and Seth ( who'd gone to church with us)...just waffles, bacon and scrambled eggs...but things just didnt seem to be working well for me...I kept making mistakes on the recipe-or forgetting about the bacon...and THEN the waffle iron DIED ( after four months?! i have no idea what happened!!) and so I just gave up!! and had to go lie down ( I know, it sounds dramatic.) but the boys were soooo cute and totally took over and salvaged the whole lunch ( with help of our neighbor's waffle iron). As much as I absolutely LOVE to cook and take care of everyones food-needs when they visit-it was also really nice to get served for once! :-) I've got good boys.

No reading required.

Get a Cash Advance

And just to prove this is true....you can see pictures of my time with Louise here

platinum lining

Since arriving on Friday, Louise has read Anne of the Island, Anne's house of Dreams, Anne of Ingleside and she is currently reading Rilla of Ingleside.

This gives the impression that we havent been very good hosts. But, ACTUALLY, if you knew Louise you'd know that she's a fast reader and therefore it does not mean we've neglected her AND if you also knew Louise you'd know that she just finished her MAJOR fifth year medical exams that pretty much decide if you get to be a doctor or not-and therefore a little book-reading time is probably just what the doctor ordered.

So, anyway, today Brett left for his "week in the field" ( prayer requests: that they finish up their training by friday so he isnt stuck out on the field all weekend-especially since his brother josh is arriving on Saturday-that would STINK! And I'm praying hard for army-kindness here.) and he had a NASTY headcold when he left which made me sad about him leaving. He had to leave at 1am which ALSO made me sad about him leaving ( because that's just a dreadful hour). And then-him just not being here made me sad about him leaving.

But, Louise and I were blessed with the most beautiful winter day and we used it to its fullest by going to the Seattle Woodlands Zoo. We saw lions and tigers and bears-quite literally. Oh my. However, I think my favorite was the gorillas. Whatever that means about me. ;-) And after the zoo we wondered about and found a little, off the beaten path, mexican food place that was seriously great-food AND atmosphere! ;-)

So, ultimately, I am blessed that God has created the perfect schedule for me-by making my time without Brett also time WITH Louise which gives my dark cloud a nice platinum lining. :-)

My favorite things...

definitely include having my "worlds" collide. And yesterday the beginning of my two favorite weeks finally arrived-you see, THIS week Louise is here from Wellington, ( duh. surely my blog readers know this).....then the day after she leaves Josh arrives from Nacogdoches to hang out with his brother brett ( but surely he'll hang out with me too!) and THEN three days later my family will arrive...
yes, it is SO much fun to have people that know your HISTORY walking around in your current world!! And having Louise here is truly going to be a blast....lets just all cross our fingers that my boss gives me some time off from work. ( as of today, Saturday...he still hasnt given us next week's schedule. BOOO!)

a small black coffee

His name is Allen. I know this because I got a peek at his armband that he wears for the state mental hospital where he spends his nights.
During the days he is free to roam the streets near by and inevitably he makes his stop here at my coffee shop where he always buys a 12 oz. drip coffee.

I learned quickly that you really must give Allen his change in nickels and pennies otherwise you'll end up robbing him blind.
You see, this elderly man with his straggly beard and hair-in his crusty trench coat and straw hat that has a green plastic visor-which has long ago stopped shading from the sun....this man is a lover of words.
He carries dictionaries and a pocket thesaurus in his bag. And his favorite words?! Well, his favorite words of the day he will declare with a flourish and a laugh and then-a penny. A penny that will make that perfect little clinking sound as it hits the other coins in tip jar. It seems to be just the thing to get the affect of Allen's words across. Sometimes he'll sit quietly in the corner as I serve customers and then he'll get up and come over and drop in another coin... and then I'll know that he's probably just had a new revelation that he's particularly proud of....

I've sat, on slow days, at a table with Allen. Conversations with Allen make no sense at all, just a jumble of ideas-captalism-share croppers-corn-John F. Kennedy-the hokey pokey...these are all part of one very large thought and SOME HOW they are connected, though for the life of me, I have no idea how. But, with a cup of black coffee between us and several more "money ideas" ( as he calls them) yet to go for the day- sense doesnt seem to matter too much.

pictures or something.

So, here are the 7 or so pictures I thought were worthy of expressing our trip to portland of course I only took ten or so pictures total, but I'm very decerning.

Wild and Crazy Fun Times.

So, in the future I'll probably look back and sigh and wish that I hand such glorious simplicity again, so this is for you, future....

Last night consisted of the following:

I made myself a totally fabulous playlist on itunes and played it extremely loud and made brownies and waited for Brett to come home...6:30 came and Brett finally arrived home ( I turned the music down) and we ate dinner ( no, it was NOT brownies)...and then I read my blog post "I'm your huckleberry" out loud to Brett while he washed the dishes. Yes, I know this is really lame...but people had been commenting about it saying things like, "you guys are soOOooo funny!" and the like and I felt like Brett should at least know WHY people thought he was funny...

And then we moved to the couch where I snuggled up to Brett and got out my brandnew book that I'd just checked out from the library ( I know, I know...I go to a bookstore, buy like ten books and then arrive home to really really WANT the one book I put back on the shelf.) and started to read him sections that I'd already read, turning periodically to see if he was enjoying it as much as I was...not really. he fell asleep.
I suggested he go to bed ( its around 8pm now...). He says no. He continues to dose on the couch. I read my book ( incidently, this book is by far the most fascinating thing I've read in AGES, its called "Born on a Blue Day" by Daniel Tammet and it is the memoir of an Autistic Savant...it'll blow your mind). Finally, at 8:30 Brett gives in. We go to bed...Brett decides he can read ONE CHAPTER of the book he's reading ( because its a short chapter after all) and so I lie next to him trying desparately to memorize Titus 3:5.
When he's finished I recite the 8 verses I have memorized and finally becoming dreadfully stumped on Titus 3:5 even though I'd spent the last 15 minutes saying it over and over to myself. I pout. Brett tells me its ok.
Brett falls asleep.
I continue to recite my verses to myself....and finally fall sleep myself.
The end.

"He saved us, not by any righteous things we have done, but my His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and the renewal of the Holy Spirit." Titus 3:5

Somebody check me. Did I get it even remotely close?!

"I'm your huckleberry"

I’m a romantic. Or at least that’s what I’ve decided to call it, whatever the case, I believe in signs. Not that I find pictures of the Virgin Mary in my toast or anything-but there have been more than one occasion where I’ve felt like God’s down right spoken to me through seemingly nothing occurrences. Its those moments where you KNOW God hears all and knows all-and it gives you a warm fuzzy feeling just thinking about it.

Anyway, I’ve thought a little bit about the best way to tell this story-reminds me of this weekend, talking to Carmi and her explaining that she had moved the fact of me living in Texas at the time of my wedding to the END of a story to give dramatic affect.
Wrong way: “So my best friend in Texas wanted me to be in her wedding and I really wanted to be in it.”

Right way: “So my best friend invited me to be in her wedding and I really wanted to be in it…. My best friend lives in Texas.” ( just hear the people gasping)

See? Much better. Throw the surprise in at the end. Dramatic.
However, when you’re telling a story about how God heard your deepest silly little desires and gave them to you as small sign of His love and affection-the problem is, a lot of the time people don’t KNOW about your silly little desires.

So, here I go…ruining the dramatic affect of this story:

It was pretty early on in our marriage that Brett and I were talking about movies that we liked and we were reminded of the Western Delight that IS Tombstone. Val Kilmer shined as Doc Holiday, there have been very few really good walking shots ( besides that fire shot in Desperado) that can rival those do-gooder cowboys walking down the streets of Tombstone on the way to the be showdown with the local badguy…there is even a random house fire in the back ground…go figure, and there just is NO comparison to some of the lines ( who is that tall glass of water over there…eyes squinted against the sun?…. “Why Johnny, I forgot you were theeeey-rr. You may go.” “I’m your huckleberry” etc. etc. )…and so it was decided that we must watch this classic of classics as soon as possible.
Easy, right? It’s a classic. Every video store would have it.
Wrong. There was not a video rental in a 15 mile radius that had a copy of Tombstone…and as for buying it. Pretty much impossible. It wasn’t for lack of looking either, Oh, we looked…Wal-Mart, Best Buy, Target…random little DVD stores….nobody had a copy of Tombstone. It was a veritable desert out there.

Anyway, like I told you, on Thursday Brett and I made the seemingly rash decision to kick this popsicle stand and go to Portland for the weekend. Now, its not like there was that much “looking forward to” time-but in the long hours that were Friday it became more and more clear that it was possibly the best decision we had EVER. MADE. Turns out…until the Middle of December Brett and I do not have ONE DAY that is not planned. We do not have ONE DAY that is completely free to spend together doing whatever we want. Honestly, that thought alone would send anyone to Oregon….but the good reasons for our trip just seemed to pile up and by the time we’d headed out the door it was a no-brainer, this weekend away was a winner. However, it wasn’t the good reasons or the fact that Saturday was really gorgeous ( no rain, hardly any coldness) or the knowledge that we’d even get a whole extra hour of sleep on Saturday night, or how we came upon this gas station that sold old school candy on the drive to Portland ( side note: all good road trips need snacks. It’s a rule) or how once we got to Portland we somehow made it to Powell’s Bookstore ( the largest book store known to man) even though Google maps failed us by giving us a closed road as part of our directions, or how once we got to Powell’s they had three floors of book happiness for us to wander through….or how blessed we felt that we hardly blinked at paying for all those books we ended up NEEDING, and it wasn’t how we randomly found this little tiny Espresso, Chocolate Bar that fed us glorious dessert and it wasn’t even how we were “forced” to go to Whole Foods to validate our parking stub and therefore forced to buy wine and really cool wine glasses….no, it was none of these things that really told me that God was looking down from heaven and smiling at me and saying “I’m going to take care of things-and not only that…I’m going to make things work out for good… nope. It was the fact that once we’d had our near perfect day in Portland and we were settled into our lovely hotel and flipping through the channels on the television that we came to the credits of Men in Black followed with a voice over saying, “Up next Tombstone.”
Yes, it was that moment that really sent the message home. Even though tomorrow is going to probably be a long day-and the next day will probably be even longer, things are going to work out OK, because we got to watch Tombstone.

Get outa dodge.

So, Brett and I sat down on the couch at 9:30 last night to compare notes on our week....
It didnt take long for me to make the annoucment:

"Let's forget everything and get out of town!!"


So, that's exactly what we're doing tomorrow. We're headed to Portland OR to do something Brett and I looooove to do....we're visiting the largest bookstore in the WORLD. ( Powell's Booksellers: takes up over a block of city...)...staying in a nice hotel and forgetting about everything for a whole two days.

I think its going to turn out. Wish us luck.

tired.

Yup, i think that pretty much discribes the Wilsons of late. Poor Brett's working hours have officially gotten out of control-most nights have been between 7pm and 8:30 before he's even home!! This really affects my days. I still havent figured out how to be happy and content with this set-up.

Last night we hosted the "Forty Days of Community" small group at our house ( incidently, Carmi made fun of the term "bible study" in her blog today...and yet, I gotta tell you, I use it all the time...I think the main problem with going away from this term is that we actually FORGET to study the bible! Which, is not a good thing. Case in point: Forty Days of Community Small group. i.e. Rick Warren trying to convince you to "serve others" without very much Bible at all. *sigh*
But, dont take my word for it, I was having a difficult time last night for sure....its HARD to be social and involved ( plus God-focused) when your husband comes in half way through completely tired and in serious need of food and you have no way of giving him rest or refreshment because of the 10 people in your living room-it was one of the few times I've really NOT wanted to be entertaining....

But, I did dress up as a Feist's back up dancer from her 1234 music video. ....I was all in red...pictures to come when I have time.