Morning prayer

Create in me a clean heart, O God.
and put a new and right spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from your presence, and do not take your holy spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and sustain in me a willing spirit.
Ps 51:10-12

"The Future"

There are times when I'm doing something that I think, "Whoa, we're living in the future!!" As in ah-la The Jetsons....

Such times are, when I'm doing Face to Face calls with my parents...video phones. THATS definitely something I did not think would ever be real.

Having a "skype date" with Lydia and Paul in New Zealand...seriously, Brett and I sitting and talking to them as though they were in the room with us. Wow.

Taking a picture of a check and then watch it IMMEDIATELY get deposited into my bank account. This is just incredible.

Using Shazaam to name songs- hold up a device, let it listen to 15 seconds of a song and then it just TELLS YOU what it is!! That's black magic, people....

Streaming TV and movies to my phone and to my computer...in seconds. AMAZING

Looking up an address on google maps, then using the satellite to actually LOOK at the address. I know what your house looks like from the outside. Freaky.

And now, now I can go to my mobileme page and login and it will tell me where my phone is, and from the computer I can turn my phone on....send a message to the screen, even lock it....CRAAAAZY!

Thankfulness

Today was a lovely Thanksgiving...far cry for LAST Thanksgiving which Brett and I spent at IHop. 


I feel truly blessed that while we are not able to spend such holidays with our family, we ARE able to spend it with "family"...the one that we have created during this past year at Benning has been hard in coming but I love them all the more for it. 


Brett and I are currently watching Pride and Prejudice ( it seemed like a good Thanksgiving movie) and I'm feeling a tad on the ill side ( probably a combo of too much meat and a loooot of chocolate. ugg) and so I shall give you an extended list of things that I am thankful for: 


The very obvious and yet most important: My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, to whom I owe my very Life. 
My wonderful husband who truly does live out his part of Ephesians 5 every day. My son who is happy, healthy and growing every day. He makes our lives infinitely  more interesting. 


I am also thankful for- in no particular order...
 Hulu and all that free TV. Cougar Town, Modern Family, Parenthood, Raising Hope, Glee, Castle, Lie to Me, Bones, Chuck and The Office
iPhone 4 and Face 2 face calls with "Spicy and Papa". 
Papa Johns ham and pineapple pizza.
Burp clothes and how they ( for the most part) save my clothes from constant ruin 
 Diaper pails that save my house from being super smelly.

Angry birds the most addictive game. ever.

 Oatmeal, which I only just recently started to like...odd.

 My Bible, it is the Word of God afterall, what a blessing that I have it at my finger tips. 

 Ransom's bouncy chair and how much he loves it.

 Swaddle Blankets and how they magically make my child sleep for hours and hours. 

Pandora Radio-particularly the Glee station and the Christmas Classical station. 

Red shoes, always make an outfit better.

Nail polish, especially "Commander and Chic" 

Gilmore Girls on DVD and the familiarity of each episode. 

Cupcakes, little pieces of happiness. 

Mail, especially cards. 

Facebook status updates-the best way to, with one glance, keep up with hundreds of friends at once.

Long phone conversations with my sister in which we talk almost exclusively about our children. 

Reading Harry Potter with my husband, even the horribly awkward Book 5. 

Prayer walks with my friend Michelle in the mornings. 

My espresso machine ( sooo glad I bought this for Brett as a present. haha!) 

Java Jacks coffee online ordering capabilities. 

Amazon Primes free shipping...although that "one-click" button is DANGEROUS. 

The fact that Conan is back on TV. 

My child's ability to sleep till 5am and then sleep another three hours after eating. 

The movie The Holiday. Its my new favorite "Holiday" movie. Jack Black is fab. 

Blog readers, all of you make me feel just a little bit more connected and a little less crazy every time you leave me a comment. 

Happy Thanksgiving....

One year ( and 26 other ones)

So this time last year Brett and I crossed into Georgia to begin a life at Fort Benning. It was also my 26th birthday. And I was also pregnant. ( though I didn't know it at the time! haha!)

Its amazing to think that we've now lived in Georgia/Alabama for a WHOLE YEAR and for the first time in a long time we're not planning on moving any time soon. This is a new one for the army and us and I'm looking forward to continuing putting "down roots" so to speak-because at least in Army-world, three years is FOREVER.

But, this first year at Fort Benning was not easy. Probably one of my hardest-and Brett wasn't even deployed! Being pregnant was IN-SANE. And for some reason breaking into the ministry and social scene here at Benning was much much harder for me to do then at other places we've lived.

To add to that,  in the last few months I've struggled with the ups and downs of motherhood....and so in a lot of ways 26 was one of the biggest years of personal growth I think I've ever had!!

As I sit here on the couch thinking about all my different birthdays I feel like this might be the most grown-up one I've had. Mostly because Brett told me "happy birthday" at 6am this morning when I was up feeding Ransom and I had literally forgotten it was my birthday....I don't think that's EVER happened ( usually I've very self-involved) so, for at least a whole moment....but then I wrote this blog post so I guess that covered that moment right on up.

Happy Birthday to me.

Vitamins for everyone!

On Friday night, Brett and I went on a date.
Yup. I know.
IT WAS HUGE.
Back when we didn't have kids we'd do what we now call a "date" all the time, we'd go out to eat, we'd do a little shopping ( strike that, we wouldn't have done the shopping because I would have done the shopping at my leisure during the day)...but now, now its called a "date" because now we have to get a baby sitter, and the fact that I've put on mascara makes it a big ol' deal.

And let me tell you it was wonderful, wonderful even when we came home to a SCREAMING baby...poor little dude was so exhausted from the screaming that he went right to sleep in his Daddy's arms before I could even feed him.

But getting a baby sitter makes me feel SO OLD. I mean, it was literally ( not really) just yesterday that I was a 16 year old girl going to some "old peoples" house to baby sit their child...and now its Brett and I. I feel like we're playing house or something and that someones going to jump out and yell, "JUST KIDDING!" any minute...

So, my parents and my sister and bro-in-law ( and I suppose by extension my niece too) are giving me a wonderful birthday present this year...
On Friday my sister is flying all the way from Texas to stay with Ransom so that Brett and I can go to Atlanta for a short little getaway.

I know it seems a bit extreme to some that I'd actually have to FLY a babysitter all the way from Texas, but to be honest, if they hadn't offered then I probably wouldn't be going! It turns out its hard to leave the little kiddo at home for a WHOLE NIGHT without me...but I feel it DEEP WITHIN MY BONES that I NEED this!
And who better to leave Ransom with than my sister?!? She's pretty much as good as the real thing ( minus the having to have bottles instead of me) and I know that I will worry waaaay less about Ransom because she's there with him.
Plus, he'll get some good Aunt Anna bonding time, which is important. :-)
Considering how happy Brett and my date night on Friday night made me....I'm pretty sure a night away is going to rock my little mommy world.

Of course, just to make life more "exciting" Ransom and I are both fighting off a cold. Well, I'm fighting it off...HE has it. Poor little dude. He usually sleeps for a good 9 hours straight, but he's been waking up every few hours ( probably because he can't breathe or has spit out his paci because of a sneeze or cough) and I have to go in and get him all re-situated. Its rough-but honestly, I'm glad we're at least pass the days when I'd have to actually FEED him every few hours at night! I just hope he's over this cold ( and that it doesn't get WORSE) by this weekend :-(

And is it true that if *I* take more vitamins than Ransom, by extension, will get them through his milk?!

Cousin It

I've always had long hair...mostly because the one time I had short hair it was because my mom had my hair cut into the ill-advised "Dorothy Hammill"
Imagine this on a chubby third grader:

Anyway, I was well and truly scarred for life and therefore I've had long to longish hair ever since. I do however, every so often cut my hair off for locks of love. 

The last time I did this I cried. 

Yup. I cried. 

And I called my sister to come and meet me and tell me what she thought of it and when she arrived I just so happen to be holding my cut off pony tail ( because they give it back to you so you can mail it) and she thought that, in a fit of frenzy, I had run out of the salon with my hair....she has such high thoughts of me ;-) 

Annnyways so it didn't go super well, but I'm considering doing it again because I gotta tell you, since Ransom's been born my hair has been driving me CRAZY! For one thing, I'm experiencing the lovely "after pregnancy shed" that you hear about and so I'm constantly finding my super long hair on EVERYTHING....I'm like having Cousin It for a pet. 

So now I'd like everyone to scour the interwebs and find a haircut that you think I would look cute with. Something that would be easy. Something that would not require work. Something for extra thick, kinda wavy hair. 

Go. 

I'll wait here. 

Veteran's Day

Confession: Until I became an Army Wife I didn't think much about Veteran's Day...if anything it was just a "holiday" about "Old People"...which, I mean, I like old people but once again...it didn't impact my day much.

Sadly it took living a military life day in and day out for me to fully grasp the importance of this day.

 At Brett's Ranger Graduation we were a tad bit late. ( What's new?) And by late I just mean we weren't early which is what you have to be if you want to find a seat at a Ranger Graduation ( just in case any of my readers are ever planning on attending one). Anyway, one of the major reasons for lack of seating was that a giant portion of the stands had been reserved for Ranger Veterans and their families. Anyway, after searching hard for a seat I finally saw a smallish space between two ladies half way up the stands, I asked them if my mother-in-law and I could squeeze in and they happily agreed. It turns out they were their in honor of their Uncle who was sitting behind me ( and deaf as a post) and who had served with the Army Rangers during WWII. As I talked to these ladies who had true respect and pride in their uncle and I then shared my own pride in my own brand new Ranger, I was struck by how little we have left of that. Pride.

Pride in the true bravery and honor these men have shown by serving our country during the wars of our past and present. I absolutely believe that that deaf  89 year old played a part in the life I live today. The freedoms that I take so very much for granted. And I believe the men, like my husband who are willing to do their jobs with honor and integrity are holding back unquestionable evils from taking place in our world today.

It makes me mad when people drag politics into today. It makes me sad when people treat today just like a day without mail ( even though that's what I use to do). Because, really today is about the people its about men like my husband, its men like the five Army Rangers who are left that served during WWII and who came from across the country to that Ranger Graduation last month.  Its about the amazing women who are serving in our armed services who are spending huge chunks of their time away from their husbands, their families, their children.  Whatever your current political leanings may be-one cannot deny that kind of sacrifice, that kind of hardship. And so I would like to say my thank you.
I am grateful for the life I live now, the life that gives me opportunity to daily see integrity and honor at work. I am thankful for my husband and the many friends who have sacrificed much.

Mom Mode

So, I'm currently on a grand search to find a babysitter for Friday night because
1. I realized I haven't eaten in a restaurant in 2 months.
2. I'd like to spend some quality "down time" with my husband that doesn't happen after 8:30pm ( when Ransom goes to bed).
3. The above to things are just sad.

Last night Ransom once again proved he doesn't like to go "out" at night when he cried for like thirty minutes at our friends Jeremy and Aurora's house...but then I bounced him on my knee for another thirty minutes and he did this:

Darn he's cute. One just cannot be mad at that cuteness....

And that cuteness is now three months old...where did the time go?
I've definitely turned into a full blown stereotypical mom. For one, I'm still in my workout pants from my morning walk...and its 2pm. Stretchy pants are SO GREAT.  ( <- That link is INSANE I don't know whether to laugh, cry or buy some...)

I also noticed that Brett and I talked waaaay too much about Ransom at dinner last night. It was embarrassing...and yet, WHAT BETTER TO TALK ABOUT?!?

And now Brett and I are getting scary close to being one of those sad couples that don't go out on dates. I can handle the stretchy pants, the incessant talking about Ransom ( because that's fun) but we really HAVE TO go out on a date. For my sanity.

Ummm...no.

So today was an interesting day. I was reminded about one of God's ways of answering prayer, with a big fat "no".

First off, I'll back track and remind you of the post I wrote on Sunday where I was pretty upset about how things turned out when I went to Bible Study. And I'm not gonna lie. I was actually mad at God about it. I seriously thought...whhhy would God not answer my prayer to help Ransom be all calm and awesome at Bible Study so that I could be a part of it and learn and grow?!? I mean, doesn't that seem like a prayer right up God's alley to answer?!? But, when I was confessing my anger to my friend Marie today she mentioned that maybe God thought that bringing to light some of the lies I was believing about me being a bad Mom was more important. That maybe I needed to sit in the dark otherwise I would not realize just HOW MANY falsehoods I was believing about myself and my life as a Mom. Basically I needed to hit rock bottom.
Oh.

And then, today...I prayed hard ( as did other people) that I would finally get to see an awesome Doctor who would finally take me seriously when it came to Ransom's throwing up issues. I prayed and I prayed and then I sat in the doctor's office waiting room for thirty minutes and I prayed...and then I got the biggest BUTT of a Doctor ever! I mean, seriously, I will be writing the most scathing review of this Dude EVER. Doctor Shami....you. are. not. cool.
Anyway, he treated me like I was an idiot, he was condescending and basically told me to start "propping your baby up after you feed him." which basically meant he hadn't listened to a word I said. Since Ransom throws up WHILE he's eating...its kinda hard to see how he sits AFTER is gonna do any good.
But, I don't know...somewhere between the rude and unhelpful doctor and the parking lot I just got this sense of peace. That once again God had answered "no" and so OBVIOUSLY I needed to stop worrying about Ransom. He's gaining weight relatively consistently, he's perky and mostly happy ( except when he's throwing up) and so I need to let this go for a bit. I say this also because yesterday *I* went to the Doctor. I had some unexpected medical issues arise and called at the last minute, and not only was I able to get an appointment, but I was able to see the Doctor who basically SAVED my uterus after Ransom was born ( I'm a big fan of hers...to say the least), and she was able to help me a lot. So, I guess my point here is that God totally took care of me yesterday. So why can I not believe that He isn't taking care of Ransom right now-even if its not as easy to see?!
And so I'm going to take my "no" answers and be grateful.

Oh. And I also got to go to Target today without my child. And that was a pretty nice bonus about today too.

The Downs

I've had this blog for many a year and one thing that I've always kept as my "rule" about blogging is that I would be honest.

This honesty has definitely cost me some things...most of all pride. Because it means that I rarely hold back from telling you about my moments of doubt or my stupid blunders ( especially if they're funny...you'll always hear about those!) or the pure unadulterated and usually not at all realistic fears that I might have on a day to day basis. I tell you about these things in my life so that you'll know...you'll know that I'm not perfect and hopefully then I can get across just how perfect the God that I am trying to follow really is!! Then when wonderful things happen, like Brett graduates Ranger School in one go, or we have a really adorable son who's happy and healthy...well, you won't just think that those things just happen. You'll instead know that those things are all completely due to the sovereign grace of God.

Or at least that's what I'm hoping.

Anyway, the last week or so I've been struggling with a major case of the "downs" as my blog has most CLEARLY reflected, as have my status updates on twitter and facebook. Ummm....yeah. Sorry about that! But, as the blog title denotes-this IS about MY day here!

But, a wonderful friend of mine reached down into the little pit that I had dug and was sitting in and pulled me up by own arm and spoke a quick reminder into my ear...a reminder that I am suppose to be living in JOY!

This kind of joy:

But, instead I've been caring waaaaay too much about what other people think. I've been focusing waaaaay too much on the things that aren't going according to my plan. Without paying heed to all the truly great things that we've got in our life. In a few days I will be posting another letter on my son's blog, and when I do it will be about all the wonderful things that I've come to love about him-even in just the last month...but sadly, there have been days where I have overlooked all those wonderful things because I've been too worried about his serious case of acid-reflux or I've been too caught up in what other people are thinking of my crying child when I take him out into public...this is truly a tragedy because I do not want to miss a second of this once-in-a-life time day. This is the day the Lord has made, rejoice and be glad in it!!