August 31, 2009

Look Me in the Eye

This book , by John Elder Robison, was actually a hard read for me. Basically its the"growing up with Asperger's" tale -that I had found in the book "Born on a Blue Day" that I had loved so much last year-except I felt like this author was a bit more "gritty", much of the Aspergarian characteristics such as lacking emotion or seeming lack of sympathy for others seemed to come out a lot more for me-maybe it was the horrible tricks he played on people when he was young or his entire chapter discussing whether or not he'd picked "the right sister" when marrying his wife-who was one of three sisters..it just hit me the wrong way...although with a fascinating life that includes going on the road with the band KISS and inventing special effects guitars for them, there are definitely some amazing page-turning chapters.
I suppose however you take Robison's anecdotal stories, it is another very interesting look at Asperger's ( a mild form of autism)-and is yet another book that I've read this year that makes me look at how we tend to handle "differences" in peoples mental makeup a little more closely. Robison went for most of his life undiagnosed and therefore was left to his own devices for the most part...and I think its a wonderful thing to see how a person adapts to the world around them, and ultimately uses his savant-like talents to contribute to society....and all in all that's pretty inspiring.

*Important note:I read the paperback version of this book, which is apparently the "edited" version. It has far less language and graphic detail that is apparently a part of the hardback version. So, I guess, be aware!

Todays QT: An everlasting Kingdom...

"... and behold , with the clouds of heaven there came one like a son of man,
and he came to the Ancient of Days
and was presented before him.
And to him was given dominion
and glory and a kingdom,
that all peoples, nations, and languages
should serve him;
his dominion is an everlasting dominion,
which shall not pass away,
and his kingdom one that shall not be destroyed. "

August 30, 2009

What's on the Menu:

We're finally facing September in the next few days...and I could NOT be more excited about it! Honestly this has been the LONGEST month ever ( I know that I probably say that every month! hahaha!)...and its nice to be on to September, because September means we're one step closer to November and you know what THAT means, right?!

Its almost to exciting for words.

But instead of jumping ahead two months lets focus on the month ahead. I think one of my major prayers for these last few months without Brett is that I would focus on what is at hand as well as looking to the future. I think it could be all to easy to get too excited about my husband coming home and miss many of the exciting opportunities that I still have yet to experience here on the home front.

So let's talk about this coming month:

I'm helping to throw the 1-17 coffee this next week, and I feel VERY honored to have the opportunity to try and pamper and spoil these wives who have had probably the WORST month ever....praying that the Lord would bless it in a big way....

I'm throwing a shower for my roommate Lindsay the next weekend and I'm also excited about that too....I can't wait for her to be a married women and experience all the joys it has to offer-but until then I'm glad I get to spend these last days as a single girl with her!

Tabitha is coming to visit!!! I'm very excited about this, just because she is one of my favorite people and getting to share a little bit ( she won't be here NEARLY long enough!) of the ministry that we're doing here will be great! More importantly I get to share HER with the people here.....and I love sharing people with other people!

Then I'm going to Texas for a week...a week isn't very long, but it was all I could comfortably fit in at this point, and I've been definitely missing my family a lot the last month or so, so I cannot WAIT to see them!

....

I'm sure other things will surface, because they always do, but I think its already shaping up to be a good month! Yay!

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions...

Brett has been gone a month. Oh, and then also 8 months on top of that. So you could say I'm use to deployment. And I guess in some ways I am. But in other ways you wake up every day and its like starting over....and maybe that's the hardest part. The hardest part is having to make a Decision to make today a good day. All. Over. Again.

And lets be honest sometimes it not an easy Decision to make. Sometimes you haven't gotten to talk to your husband, or maybe something happens that rocks your boat and you realize that "Hey, they're fighting a WAR over there, and its not safe!"...or maybe its just something else that happens, but that something else is multiplied into badness because you don't have your Best Friend to tell about it to...but whatever it might be, the Decision is still the same. The excuses will always be there ( whether you're in the army or whether you'll never have to deal with a spouse separation. ever.) I know for a fact that every single season of my life, there are ALWAYS excuses to go a different route when the Decision time comes....

In the past month I've had a new added element to my life, since the Battalion that Brett was with before we went to Kansas deployed, I now have many girl friends going down a similar road and they too are having to wake up every morning without their loved ones and I know they've learned all about the Decision for themselves. And so tonight I'd like to tell you about the girls who, even though I've been doing this for many months now, have totally inspired me. They have taught me a little bit more about the Savior that gets us through...

First of all, you need to go read this blog right now ( I'll wait right here while you do it)...

Karissa just started blogging a few months ago...

So did you go? Did you read it?

Yeah, I know. I was encouraged too! Karissa has been making the Decision in a big fat way. And its incredible to see in real life too. She's not just blogging nice positive stuff-she's actually going out and living it too. For instance this last week was particularly awful and I watched Karissa face it all with the same obvious sadness as everyone else, but she also was digging into the Word of God and the difference was she was not wallowing in the sadness or letting the fear take her captive ( something I was definitely tempted to do at times!)....she totally turned to God to pull her out....

And He did.


I also have another friend who has started taking her Quiet Times super seriously. I'm not really sure if she did before this deployment, or even what started it exactly ( we haven't talked about it). But whatever the case is, I've noticed a new element in her life. An element of seeking God when it comes to the difficulties and the unanswerable stuff...and I've seen her un-pry her fingers from the death grip that we all seem to have on our own lives ( are ALL women control freaks?! hahaha! I know I am!)-she's been taking all those details of life and turning them over to God to answer....

And He has.


And I guess you could say that I started this post to talk about these girls and what they have taught me, and ultimately the lesson they've taught me, though they probably don't realize it...is I have seen the Lord. I have seen Him!! I have seen Him in undoubtable ways in the lives of these friends of mine. I have a greater understand of His Power, and His amazing capabilities for Faithfulness.


If you are seeking God in your life, never doubt that it is not visible to those around you, and take it from me- the Decision you are making to Seek Him and to Follow Him, your Decision may very well be making it easier for those watching you to make that Decision for themselves.

I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful girls who teach me about my Lord every single day! May tomorrow's Decision be a no-brainer!

August 28, 2009

Still good

So, tonight I was looking up a quote to stick at the bottom of the current letter that I'm writing to Brett ( I'd think he'd love any letters you might want to send his way...he's ( more than) good when it comes to supplies or boxes or anything like that-but letters are ALWAYS welcome!!

Anyway, as I searched for the quote I wanted, I came across this other one that was also pretty great. Short but sweet:

" ( Lothlorien) is like being at home and on a holiday at the same time, if you understand me. I dont want to leave."

I think that would be my ultimate desire for my home when people visit....seems like something that might be hard to attain-but definitely worth working towards!

Gotta love Tolkien!

August 26, 2009

"But if not.."

So, a few hours ago I posted a semi-sad post after hearing that 1-17 had four more casualties-but then I heard a little more news, and all of a sudden the abstract sadness of lives lost had faces.
The faces of fathers and husbands. Men that I actually knew and that was when the real reality kicked in. I know, its horrible that I cannot seem to muster up this kind of empathy when it comes to people I do not know-but such is the way of my mind. But, when we do know the persons impacted. Wow. Grief.
Its so incredibly awful....

Of course, it doesn't stay focused on others long, soon your sympathy gets mixed in with your own worst fears and you start thinking about other soldiers-your best friends husbands, men who are your close friends....your own husband. Its around then that I start to curse my fully developed imagination because its just too awful to even begin to comprehend.

And so I have another go at a blog post.

Before all these news started hitting I had a quiet time. And in that quiet time I was reading in Daniel. The well known story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and the fiery furnace. ( If you need some refreshing you can read the account here). Anyway, this time through I was struck by three little words, "But if not..."


These men had just made a huge proclamation to this heathen king saying that they served a God who could deliver them from any kind of punishment he might come up with-even throwing them in a furnace-and that they would honor God and not Man ( aka. the king) and would not be bowing down to his idol...and then these three little words..."But if not..."

You see Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did not live under any allusions that they were guaranteed saving just because they were being faithful to God-but with those three words they made it clear that it did not matter.

Their faith was not conditional. Who God was and the honor that He deserved from them was not based upon His actions towards them. God does not change, and their faith was not going to change either.

It gives me great comfort now, and even more after the events of the day. To think of how I serve a God who does not change according to whim. Whether i have a good day or a bad day. Whether horrible things happen to me or whether I am spared. Whether those that I love and care for, face difficulties or whether they are greatly blessed...
He is the same. The same majestic and wonderful God who is worthy to be praise, honored and adored no matter what.

And to be honest, I tremble a little bit at that truth....for the realities of what I just said are this....that even if something unimaginable where to happen in my own life, even if our own version of "But if not" were to happen, Christ would still be the same. He would still be glorious.

Tonight I cry for the realities of this World, and my heart desires ever more a Kingdom where...."He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Amen to that....and until that day....I pray for strength to face the furnace and comfort for those who already have.

The Patriotic Post

Lately we've been dealing with the finality of death around here. Brett's unit that he belonged to before he was placed on the MiTT team, deployed a little over a month ago-and in that time they've had more deaths than my naive mind could have imagined.

This news has affirmed like never before the importance of the "mission" that Brett and I have both felt strongly about over the past two years ( longer for Brett)...the importance of spreading the gospel within our military.

Its the only Hope we have.

And this weekend as we say goodbye to a heaping hand full of the guys in our Navigator Ministry who I've been working alongside over this past year, guys who will be deploying over the next few weeks, my prayers don't seem like enough....

Amy, Karissa and I were talking today about how we've all gotten exponentially more patriotic since our husbands have deployed-and I definitely think its true for me...I mean, I'm not saying that you'll be seeing a yellow ribbon magnet on the back of my car any time soon...its just that I am incredibly proud of my husband and so many others who are willing to give up the comforts of home ( and often much more than that!) to serve their country....and sometimes you really want to wear a tacky t-shirt that has some sort of eagle coming out of a star-spangled-banner screen printed on the front. ( Just Kidding)

"Im not wearing any socks"

So, I know its been a few days since I've blogged. Mostly because I've had pretty much zero to say, which I guess shows what's going on in my brain....crickets.

That being said,today I actually woke with that feeling of "sharing" which can only be satiated by a blog post-buuuut ironically I was also actually awaked by a telephone call from the FedEx people saying that they'd be delivering our new MacBook today...of course, I then couldn't go back to sleep...and then, once my beautiful and shiny new baby actually arrived it took...literally 12 HOURS to transfer all my data from my old computer to the new one. Whew.

That was 12 hours that I didn't have a computer.

Lets just say I got a lot of reading done.

Especially since I'd decided before the day even began that I needed to fast from the television today...I've felt like I've spent a little too much time in front of the tube lately, even for me....which, come to think of it, maybe why I haven't had any kind of blog post brewing in my brain. My brain actually rotted. Just like that. That's what television does, you know.

Anyway, today was a super-spoiling-of-Abigail day not only because I got the highly anticipated Baby in the mail, but I ALSO got a surprise present for the Husband! He's the best husband in the world, just in case you were wondering...My cup runneth over in a big way.

August 21, 2009

The Peril of Living in Pleasantville

EVERY SINGLE DAY ( minus Wednesday, because I guess even landscapers need a day off)...I am awakened by weed eaters, blowers and weird sidewalk scraper thingies...And you know what?! Now that I think about it, I've seen nary a leaf or twig DARE to float down onto the sidewalk and impede my walking in anyway whatsoever. I guess this is why.

I'm currently listening to Missy Higgins on TOP VOLUME on my headphones so that the rackett will not be able to impede my posting abilities. Because we all know how I am when I'm awakened before the allotted time. ( Bless all the mothers that I know, I don't know how you do it.)

In other news, a while ago I threw a baby shower for my friend Katie...and at the time I thought, "Wow, this is the last party I'm going to get to throw while I'm here in Washington..its an end to an era!"

Now lets all stop and laugh at my naïveté... I'm currently in the process of planning TWO parties a week apart. The first one I'm hosting is the 1-17 Wives Coffee, with Amy and Karissa and then a week later a Lingerie Shower for my current roommate. This will reach new levels of my hosting abilities, since I'm having to MULTI-TASK in my mind of all the things I want to do for each! Whew!

I am going to feel SO accomplished when its all said and done. ;-)

August 20, 2009

All Things...

It's nice having the warm weather back ( not toooo warm like that horrible week in July, but warm enough to sit outside for hours!)...and yesterday I went blackberry picking so that I could make blackberry cobblers when I'm feeling like comfort food. yessss!

So, you may notice that I'm feeling better. I "passed" my kidney stone on Monday night. Normally, I don't really know when I pass these babies, the pain just sorta goes away so I figure its gone...but THIS time I know for certain. How come?! Because I SAW IT!!!

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH! I know!! It was the craziest moment ever! And it was HUGE! ( and yes, this constitutes as the biggest over share in the history of the world, but whatever, I don't care...) and I now have it in a jar to take into the Urologist so they can hopefully test it and tell me if there's anything I can do or anything I can take that will make me STOP having kidney stones every year like clockwork ( this is something that one does not strive to be consistent about). I have to stop myself from showing everyone and their dogs a picture of my kidney stone-because its just so HUGE and I feel so VALIDATED for having squirmed and cried and whined and thrown up for hours on in end on Saturday night...BECAUSE IT WAS HUGE.*sigh*

Anyway, today I'm gearing up to do a little surface cleaning around the house and then hanging with some girls from Bible Study....but before I do so, here's something that struck me this morning:

"For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities-all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together." Col 1:16-17

August 17, 2009

Lamaze classes are over due.*

It was around 10pm and Bethany and I had just settled in for a little late evening chat on my couch ( per usual) when this really annoying pain started to interrupt my flow of thought. Bethany was talking and I was trying desperately to concentrate but all I could think was ("pleasepleaseplease be anything but a kidney stone!")...but after having to stop mid-sentence to run to the bathroom to loose my dinner, I realized my prayers were a little late.

And here's where I'd like to take a moment to thank God for giving me a nurse for a roommate. Now, one might think that just about ANYONE can drive a person to the ER and answer a few questions and then wait for someone to give Abigail some drugs...and you'd be right...but I'm going to go ahead and put it out there that it takes a nurse, or someone else with super powers to put up with what happened:
three hours of me...writhing in pain, crying for drugs, throwing up ( as Lindsay eloquently put it: "everything...and it looked and smelled just like chicken soup! interesting!"...see?! I told you only a nurse...) and did I mention crying and writhing? Because there was SO MUCH of it!! But, Lindsay was amazing...she basically rubbed my back and told me everything was going to be fine and that "yes, she knew it was awful"....
When it came down to it, the ER was packed-since it was a Saturday night and we were on an army base where people like to get in fights and get overly intoxicated on Saturday nights...and that's not counting all the other things that come into the ER...so, yes, it was horrible and I had never stopped to think about what good service I've always gotten for my pervious four kidney stones...but, yeah, this categorically goes into the "NOT GOOD SERVICE" category...and it took them a very, very, very long time to finally give me drugs.

And Lindsay deserves a medal of honor...

*It was during the time when I was writhing in pain, asking for drugs, PLEADING for just about anything, that the nurses took my blood to make sure I wasn't pregnant...and all I could think about was, how LONG will it take them to find out what I already know?! That I'm NOT PREGNANT AND SOMEONE GIVE ME DRUGS ALREADY!!!! But, then my second thought was stone-cold-sobering....what if one day, I am pregnant!?! Will I honestly have to do a kidney stone without any hope of drugs coming? I've heard of people having a kidney stone and labor at the same time and I've always laughed it off because I figure anyone going through that would just DIE already, but I'm thinking that having a kidney stone at ALL while being pregnant is my new worst nightmare.
I'm thinking I'll have to learn how to meditate and do lamaze breathing BEFORE I even get pregnant-just to be safe. Otherwise, I'm going to have to keep a Lindsay in my house at all times...and have a "kidney stone coach" instead of a birthing coach.

And now I'm home, trying to pass a kidney stone. I've currently got Brett Bear** pressed up into my left side ( something about the pressure is good) and I'm well into season 7 ( the last one!) of The West Wing....

** Brett Bear is my stuffed bear that has a hot water bottle inside of it that Brett gave me for Christmas...he's turned out to be a life saver on all sorts of major occasions: the need for something warm to snuggle during the winter, something to help the tense muscles in my neck, something cool (frozen water bottles work too) to snuggle when it was 107 degrees a few weeks ago, and now...the shear weight of a bottle of water is excellent. Best. Present. Ever.


I love morphine on TwitpicAnd here's the picture Lindsay took of me after getting the long awaited morphine...

August 15, 2009

A Whirlwind week

Cupcakes, Silly hats, 10 Things I Hate About You sites, Pikes Market, Yummy Food, Hiking, Kayaking, Seattle Library....you guess which pictures go with which.

August 10, 2009

In other words,

My friend Amy is visiting me from Texas. She and I met when we were in the second grade, we officially became "besties" ( although I don't think that phrase had been coined yet) in the 3rd grade...annnnnd here we are today! Pretty amazing really!

Anyway, I will probably be posting less in the next few days, the idea of juggling a visitor plus all the girls here at Lewis that I want to still see this week, plus all the things one should do in a day...well, I think that leaves minus 3 hours ( if my calculations are correct). Which is just the kind of challenge/equation I like!

I've been pondering this Psalm that I got in my quiet time a few days ago, and it's STILL speaking to me! So, reminder of 127:

Unless the Lord builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city,
the watchman stays awake in vain.

It is in vain that you rise up early and go to bed to rest
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep.

Behold children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth

Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

August 07, 2009

The Professor and the Madman

This Book, by Simon Winchester, BLEW. MY. MIND.

Reading the Preface alone made me stop reading to check and make sure I was not reading a fiction book instead of nonfiction. This fascinating story of two of the most important "authors" of the Oxford English Dictionary ( yes, this IS my second book about the OED....you are not having de ja vue) is SO incredibly over the top you're honestly going to have trouble believing it. But, apparently, this is truth ( or as close as we can get) and I feel like Winchester did a great job of weaving this story together in such an enjoyable way, that you, too, might find yourself getting lost in this book....so lost, in fact, that you'll sit in the sun for two to three hours at a time for days on end, without realizing it and come away with a terrific tan. ;-)

So, to give you a tiny run down of this book ( without giving way the really juicy stuff), the undertaking of documenting and defining all the words in the English Language was not the task of just one man, but many people sending in words and quotations from literature and other writings in which the word was used. Hundreds of thousands slips of paper where submitted for over 23 years to finally complete the first edition of the OED. This book looks at the conception and beginnings of the making of the English Languages most Mighty Dictionaries, and most importantly on one of its word-submitters, one of the most prolific and detailed, who ultimately played a huge roll in "defining" the English Language. Oh, and he just so happened to be a murder who lived in an insane asylum.
While this story is understandable fantastical and could have been easily taken the "hollywood" exploitation route, I felt like the auther did a great job of looking at the principal characters of this story in a respectful and sensitive way. I came away, just as I did when I read The Man who Made Lists, the story of Peter Roget, the creator of the Roget's Thesaurus-feeling that we can thank a great lack of modern understanding of medicine for mental illness-for some of our most important works...the thesaurus AND the dictionary!
While this story is incredibly sad, it is also amazing and touching to think how a man was able to still make a worthy and important mark on society for generations to come-even though he struggled with very serious mental issues.

*warning*: There is a very disturbing and graphic scene towards the end of this book...and therefore should not be read by the faint at heart, and not given to your children to read until you've done a read through!

Rested.

Boy Howdy! Last night I went to bed at 10:45. It was the greatest moment ever. I was SO TIRED. The last week or so have been really bad for the sleeping. I've been staying up late and getting up early and then going nonstop all day...and now it has officially caught up with me!

That being said, I wouldn't trade the last few days for anything! I've been getting some great times with the girls in the Navigator Ministry that I'd been neglecting for most of last month and I gotta tell you there is NOTHING better than seeing how God's working in peoples lives! The other thing the last few days has provided has been a roller-coaster that only the army can create. I gotta tell you being an Army Wife and thus having the opportunity to be a part of the lives of OTHER Army Wives and Army Girlfriends and Fiancees has pretty much taught me that there is NEVER EVER a dull moment when the military has its way ( which it always does). What has this taught me? How to pray ( its the only thing you can do sometimes!). The moment you learn how to deal with the last curve ball, another one is barreling down on you...and there have been several times this week that I have been left speechless after being told what these ladies are having to handle in their lives and the lives of their loved ones ( I KNOW! Me, speechless! AMAZING!) . Ultimately though I am in awe of how the Lord provides and helps and teaches in each of these circumstances, and yeah, the praying thing....that's a lesson I can never learn too much.

So, today I got up early to take the roommate and her hubby-to-be to the airport and now I'm sitting on my couch finally having a moment to catch up on all the internet correspondence that needs to be done. I've gotta get all these "solitary" activities out of the way, because on Sunday my "oldest friend in all the world" is coming to visit! That's right! Amy K. will be here for almost a week and I'm super excited about sharing my life in the North West with her. This of course means more neglecting of my Navigator Girls, but I'm HOPING that will somehow figure out a way to do everything.....

August 06, 2009

Give me a chance!

EEEEE! I totally didn't expect Brett to go advertising my blog on his latest mass email...so yeah, I hope people that thought they were going to get something super enlightened and spiritual from my blog weren't TOO disappointed! hehe! My last post was definitely the results of lateness and lack of sleep! Nonetheless! My posting shall continue, and hopefully by this evening I'll have my latest book review for you! And its a doozy!
Check back in later!

August 05, 2009

12:31

or so the clock says....I cannot sleep.

-Today I had FOUR people comment on how tan I was...honestly. I didn't think I was that tan!! But I guess sitting outside reading my book three days in a row was a bad idea.

-I really want a new computer for the following silly reasons: I want a computer that has a camera so I can talk to my friends/family face-to-face on Skype. I want more harddrive space so that Brett and my music can both co-exist on one computer and fasterness* ( whatever it is that makes your computer download things faster that has nothing to do with the internets) so that I can watch the things I want to watch and download the things I want to download.

I want my computer to not overheat when its over 80 degrees outside.

I also think new mac books are shiny and PRETTY.

*This should be a word.


-I got in trouble today via facebook because I did not take a facebook group as SERIOUSLY as I should.
-I got in trouble today for not being a prompt responder in the emailing world.

-I felt guilty about both these things. Whether I should have or not.

-I was relieved of my secret-keeping duties on two fronts. #1. My roommate finally found out where she is going on her honeymoon ( I found out last week). #2. I got to tell Brett that two of our best friends got engaged to each other ( I had to keep this secret for 24 hrs because the guy wanted to tell Brett himself-but WAR got in the way and so I finally got to do it myself.)

-Leading a Bible Study is hard and I never ever feel like I've mastered it.

-I've read 11 books so far this year. ( that is a lot of books to some people, and not many to others...)
-I've watched LOTS more televisions series in their entirety.
-That's depressing.

-However, this answers that nagging question about what I do all day.

-I'm regretting the two double tall lattes that I had back to back this morning. Even though it was a long time ago, it probably wasn't a good idea.

August 03, 2009

25 degrees of separation

Let me just tell you how MUCH better I like this week than last week...I mean, sure, I'm only half a day into this week-but already I like this week better. For one thing its not a million degrees in my apartment. Meaning, I can clean house, cook, shower, sit on my couch, lie in my bed, work on my computer....all without dying of a heat induced attack of some kind ( I'm going to guess it would have been a manic attack of some kind, but just guessing).

So, I had a pretty busy weekend of meeting up with girls and I've started this week off in a similar vein. It seems that when you take two week off from ministry stuff-life actually CONTINUES ON without you. Which is totally crazy if you ask me. ;-) So, its been all about catch up + a little bit of meeting up with new girls, which basically equals good times all around....although, I will admit it all makes me rather tired. My brain begins to hurt a lot faster after having THREE intense conversations in one day.

But, on a personal note I'm reading a really fascinating book at the moment (a new review by the end of the week, I promise!), I'm looking forward to a fun week next week when Amy K. comes to visit-plus I think the next few months are going to fly by ( or they BEST!) so that the End of Brett's deployment will only be around the corner. This is good news, since it turns out you really DO have to get use to not having him around ALL. OVER. AGAIN. And sadly it is no easier the second time around. *sigh* Nights are once again difficult for me, and I am once again having to teach myself to not want to tell Brett everything that happens to me in a day and want his opinion on everything....its all about becoming self-sufficient on an every day level again...which stinks.

Wait. That paragraph totally started out all uplifting and positive. What happened? Ok, so yes...life is back to the every day grind. And all in all I'm happy with the way things are going.

For instance, right now I'm going to walk to the library and pick up some DVDs that I requested, and then I'm going to eat some fresh mango and sit in the sun. See? That doesn't sound so bad.